Background Image

...

In Stage I, Divorces Were Not Allowed, So Men's [sexual] Affairs Did Not Put Women's Economic Security In Jeopardy; In Stage Ii, Affairs Could Lead To Divorce, So Men's Affairs Did Place Women's Economic Security In Jeopardy. We Did Not Want Political Leaders Who Would Be Role Models For Behavior That Would Put Women's Economic Security In Jeopardy.

-Warren Farrell

...

Please Wait....
Translating....

In Stage I, Divorces

Warren Farrell

...

In Stage I, Divorces Were Not Allowed, So Men's [sexual] Affairs Did Not Put Women's Economic Security In Jeopardy; In Stage Ii, Affairs Could Lead To Divorce, So Men's Affairs Did Place Women's Economic Security In Jeopardy. We Did Not Want Political Leaders Who Would Be Role Models For Behavior That Would Put Women's Economic Security In Jeopardy.

Views: 6

Topic

More From Warren Farrell

If My Parents Had Made Love A Tenth Of A Second Earlier Or Later, I Wouldn't Exist. What An Enormous Miracle, Just Being Given Life.

Women Do Not Enter A Profession In Significant Numbers Until It Is Physically Safe. So Until We Care Enough About Men's Safety To Turn The Death Professions Into Safe Professions, We In Effect Discriminate Against Women. But When We Overprotect Women And Only Women It Also Leads To Discrimination Against Women. ...if [an Employer Works] For A Large Company For Which Quotas Prevent Discrimination, They Find Themselves Increasingly Hiring Free-lancers Rather Than Taking On A Woman And Therefore A Possible Sexual Harassment Lawsuit.

In One Decade, Women Had Gotten More Protection Against Offensive Jokes In The Workplace Than Men Had Gotten In Centuries Against Being Killed In The Workplace.

And Then In 1956 Or 1957 My Family Went Over To Europe And I Moved Over With Them, And Immediately People In Europe Thought My Perspective On That Issue Was 100% Correct.

During The Years I Was On The Board Of Directors Of The National Organization For Women In New York City, The Most Resistant Audiences I Ever Faced In The Process Of Doing Corporate Workshops On Equality In The Workplace Were Not Male Executives - They Were The Wives Of Male Executives. As Long As Her Income Came From Her Husband, She Was Not Feeling Generous When Affirmative Action Let Another Woman Have A Head Start Vying For Her Husband's (her) Income.

On An Unconscious Level, The Demonization Of Sexuality Usually Implies The Demonization Of Males And The Victimization Of Females.

Here's The Pay Paradox That Why Men Earn More Explains: Men Earn More Money, Therefore Men Have More Power; And Men Earn More Money, Therefore Men Have Less Power (earning More Money As An Obligation, Not An Option). The Opposite Is True For Women: Women Earn Less Money, Therefore Women Have Less Power; And Women Earn Less Money, Therefore Women Have More Power (the Option To Raise Children, Or To Not Take A Hazardous Job).

I Feel Awed By The Mystery Of Being Both So Finite And Yet So Infinite, So Much And So Little, So Conscious And Yet, So Coincidental.

Perhaps The Most Prevailing Expectation Of Men Is Our Superman Expectation: The Fear We Are Merely Clark Kents Who Won't Be Accepted Unless We Are A Superman.

The Five Different Areas In Which Boys Are In Crisis - Education; Jobs; Emotional Health; Physical Health; And Fatherlessness - Are Handled By Different Portions Of The Government.

Just As The Depression Left A Generation Of Dads Feeling They Never Had Enough Money, So Father Deprivation Is Leaving A Generation Of Sons And Daughters With Different Psychic Wounds.

In Brief, When A Man Fails As A Wallet, We Put Him In Prison; When A Woman Fails As A Mother, We Offer Her Social Services. We're Taking A Criminal Approach To Men, A Social Services Approach To Women.

So Long As You Create Laws That Define Women As Victims, As Creatures That Demand Protection, That Need Bodyguards, You Are Going To Perpetuate The Very Worst Of Our Sexist Past.

A Man's Primary Fantasy Is Access To A Variety Of Attractive Women Without The Fear Of Rejection.

Men's Competitive Team Sports Focus On The Balance Between Individual Achievement And Team Achievement With The Emphasis On Team Achievement.

It Is Ironic That A Movement That Made Its Reputation Championing The Irrelevance Of Biological Differences When Those Differences Were To Most Women's Disadvantage Immediately Returned To Biological Determinism When Those Differences Were To The Most Women's Advantage.

In A Sense, Sexual Harassment Lawsuits Are Just The Latest Version Of The Female Selection Process Allowing Her To Select For Men Who Care Enough For Her To Put Their Career At Risk; Who Have Enough Finesse To Initiate Without Becoming A Jerk And Enough Guts To Initiate Despite A Potential Lawsuit. In The Past, Though, The Process Of His Overcoming Her Barriers Was Called 'courtship.' Now It Is Called Either 'courtship' Or 'sexual Harassment'.

Until Recently, The Question Was 'why Can't A Woman Be More Like A Man?' It Should Have Been Changed To 'why Can't Both Sexes Be More Like The Best Parts Of Each Other?' Instead, The Pendulum Swung To The 1960s Feminist Lapel Button Adam Was A First Draft. True Enough. So Are We All.

Our Children Are Better Served By Speaking Not Of Visitation Versus Custody, But Of Parent Time.

I Define Power As Control Over Ones Life. A Balanced Life Is Far Superior To The Male Definition Of Power: Earning Money Someone Else Spends While He Dies Sooner.

Women Attempt Suicide More Often Because They Want To Become The Priority Of Those They Love Rather Than Always Prioritizing Them.

Sexual Harassment Legislation In Its Present Form Makes All Men Unequal To All Women.

Sometimes I Have A Feeling, When I Look Back On My Life, That All I've Been Through Has Prepared Me Perfectly For Just What I'm Doing Now.

But When Feminists Suggest That God Might Be A She Without Suggesting That The Devil Might Also Be Female, They Must Be Opposed.

I've Gone From Being Quite Wealthy, When I Was Defending Women, To Being Quite Poor Defending Men.

And We Reduce Almost All Male-female Problems By Working On Both The Female And The Male. And That Usually Means Having Both Sexes Take Responsibility.

The Most Unacknowledged Spending Expectation Among Women Is The Amount Of Time Spent By Single Mothers Caring For Children, Not Only Physically, But Psychologically. It Is My Feeling That Only A Small Percentage Of A Mother's Time Is Normally Compensated For By Child Support, Given What A Woman Could Make Adding These Hours To Workforce Hours. It Is Why Women Who Have Never Been Married And Never Had Children Earn So Much More In The Workplace Than Women Who Have Had Children.

Our Choice Of Partners Is One Of The Clearest Statements About Our Choice Of Values.

When A Man Is Forced Into Early Retirement, He Is Often Being 'given Up For A Younger Man.' Being Forced Into Early Retirement Can Be To A Man What Being 'given Up For A Younger Woman' Is For A Woman... Why Do Many Men Get More Upset By Retirement Than Women Do From The Empty Nest When Their Children Leave Home? When Females Retire From Children, They Can Try A Career; When A Man Retires From A Career, His Children Are Gone.

When We Suggest That Men Are At The Top Because Men Discriminate, We Miss The Point. Men Are At The Top Of The Work Hierarchy Because Work Has Been Primarily Men's Responsibility.

By Giving Women Training To Sue A Company For A 'hostile Environment' If Someone Tells A Dirty Joke, We Are Training Women To Run To The Government As Substitute Husband (or Father). This Gets Companies To Fear Women, But Not To Respect Women. The Best Preparation We Can Give Women To Succeed In The Workplace Is The Preparation To Overcome Barriers Rather Than To Sue: Successful People Don't Sue, They Succeed.

I Don't Have Children That I've Lost In A Bitter Custody Dispute. But I See An Enormous Wound In Kids Due To A Lack Of Their Dads.

There Is What Might Be Called A Catch-22 Of Hazardous Occupations: The More Hazardous The Job, The More Men; The More Men, The Less We Care About Making The Job Safer. The Catch-22 Of Hazardous Occupations Creates A 'glass Cellar' Which Few Women Wish To Enter. Women Are Alienated Not Just Out Of The Fear Of Being Hurt On The Job, But By An Atmosphere That Can Make A Hazardous Job More Hazardous Than It Needs To Be.

Men Move Through A Much Different Process Before Commitment Than Women Do.

Men Are Socialized To Trust Women Until Evidence To The Contrary Surfaces; Women Are Socialized To Be Suspicious Of Men Until An Individual Man Earns Trust.

If We Hold The Married Man Accountable For Finances Gone Legally Awry, Then The Married Woman Should Be Held Accountable For Children Who Go Awry.

Every Movement Has Radicals. But The Important Thing Is That The Radicals Are Not The Leaders.

The Irony Of Primary Parent Laws Is That On The One Hand Feminists Were Arguing For Women's Equal Rights To Jointly-created Career Assets That Emanated From The Male Financial Womb, But Arguing Against Men's Equal Rights To Jointly-created Children That Emanated From The Woman's Child-bearing Womb.

The Male Corporate Model Is Built On A Mans Greater Willingness To Be A Slave Of Sorts - Especially Once He Has To Provide For Children.

The More The Father Is Involved, The More Easily The Child Makes Open, Receptive, And Trusting Contact With New People In Its Life.

When Birth Control Pills Were Available In Europe But Not In The United States, American Women Created An Uproar About How The Unwillingness To Make The Pill Available Showed A Contempt For The Lives Of Women. When The Food And Drug Administration (fda) Released Birth Control Pills With High Dosages Of Hormones That Were Later Found To Be Unnecessarily High, They Were Attacked For Not Caring About Women Enough To Do The Necessary Tests.

Humans Tend To Start The Process Of Change By Acknowledging Themselves. Thus Blacks Asserted Black Pride And 'black Is Beautiful;' Women Declared 'i Am Woman, I Am Strong'; Men Are Saying 'i Am Man, I Am Okay.' After A Quarter Of A Century Of Male Bashing, That's Not A Bad Start.

When We Look At The Pay Of Men And Women Who Do Work Equal Hours, Two Discoveries Are Quite Astonishing: --when Women And Men Work Less Than 40 Hours A Week, The Women Earn More Than The Men; --when Men And Women Work More Than 40, The Men Earn More Than The Women.

Feminism Justified Female Victim Power By Convincing The World That We Lived In A Sexist, Male-dominated, And Patriarchal World.

Since No One Is Always Right, Always Being Right Is Really A Role Model For His Children Feeling Inadequate.

In The Case Of A Man And A Woman [accused Of Commiting A Crime Together], Both Will Often Agree To The Man Taking The Rap Despite The Man Being More Likely To Receive A Longer Sentence And More Likely To Be Raped In Prison. If Blacks Were Agreeing To Do That For Whites, The Black Community Would Be Smart Enough To Call That 'learned Subservience.'

I Would Suggest That Just As Women Who Make It In The World Of Business Need Male Business Mentors, Perhaps Men Who Make It In The World Of Emotions Will Need Female Emotional Mentors.

Only When A Woman Shares Male Risks Can She Really Begin To Understand Men.

Circumcision In The United States Is Routinely Performed Without Anesthesia, Though Anesthesia Reduces The Infant's Stress And Prevents Infection And Blood Clots.

The Problem Is That Americans Care More About Saving Whales Than Saving Males.

Men Give The Same Lines To Different Women For The Same Reason Women Wear The Same Perfume For Different Men; We All Try The Things That Work.

With Men, We Blame The Victim. We Blame Men Because We Have Camouflaged Men's Victimization By Teaching Men To Also Be The Victimizer. Men's Victimizer Status Camouflages Men's Victim Status.

Male Bashing Is Everywhere. It Would Be A Mistake To View The Current Situation As Another Skirmish In The War Between The Sexes. Women Have Been Doing The Shooting, And Men Have Been Burying Their Heads In The Sand, Hoping The Bullets Will Miss.

Every Day, Almost As Many Men Are Killed At Work As Were Killed During The Average Day In Vietnam. For Men, There Are, In Essence, Three Male-only Drafts: The Draft Of Men To All The Wars; The Draft Of Everyman To Unpaid Bodyguard; The Draft Of Men To All The Hazardous Jobs Or 'death Professions.

Men Are Likely To Be Quite Generous, Especially Financially.

When Only Men Could Register To Vote, We Required Only Men To Register For The Draft. Today Both Sexes Can Vote, But Only Men Must Register For The Draft.

When Men In Relationships Have More Money, We Say They Have The Power. When Women In Relationships Have More Money, We Say They Are Being Used.

Alan Alda Is Loved Not Because He's Sensitive, But Because He's Successful And Sensitive.

The Female Western Is The Battle Between The Good And Evil Methods Of Getting The Men Who Perform Best.

Sexism Is Discounting The Female Experience Of Powerlessness; The New Sexism Is Discounting The Male Experience Of Powerlessness.

The Government As Substitute Husband Did For Women What Labor Unions Still Have Not Accomplished For Men. And Men Pay Dues For Labor Unions; The Taxpayer Pays The Dues For Feminism. Feminism And Government Soon Become Taxpayer-supported Women's Unions.

[with Respect To Child Custody] A Woman Has No Right To A Unilateral Choice That Affects The Rest Of A Man's Life Any More Than A Man Would Have The Right To A Unilateral Choice That Affects The Rest Of A Woman's Life.

Laws Are Made With Such Attention To Protecting Women That, If A Man's Constitutional Rights Conflict With A Woman's Protection, His Rights Disintegrate Before Her Protection Disintegrates.

Men Rarely Worry About Using Or Being Used Because All Relationships Work That Way. A Man Perceives Himself As Owning And Being Owned By A Woman. Use Is A Dirty Word Only When Theres An Imbalance In The Relationship.

Irony: While We Increasingly Hold People More Responsible If They Drink And Drive, We Hold Women Less Responsible If They Drink And Have Sex.

Teaching The Child To Treat Boundaries Seriously Teaches The Child To Respect The Rights And Needs Of Others. Thinking Of Another's Needs Creates Empathy.

The Weakness Of Men Is The Facade Of Strength; The Strength Of Women Is The Facade Of Weakness.

Because Of The Feminist Perspective, We Have Gotten A View Of The World That Is Distorted.

Sex Role Training Becomes Divorce Training.

It Would Be Hard To Find A Single Example In History In Which A Group That Cast More Than 50 Percent Of The Vote Got Away With Calling Itself The Victim... Women Are The Only 'oppressed' Group To Share The Same Parents As The 'oppressor'; To Be Born Into The Middle Class And Upper Class As Frequently As The 'oppressor'; To Own More Of The Culture's Luxury Items Than The 'oppressor'.

You Could Make A Case That Women Addicted Men To Their Sexuality And Then Withdrew Their Sexuality Until We Provided Them With A Source Of Income.

Divorces Led To Bodies Of Men (called Legislatures) Protecting Women Collectively As Other Men (called Husbands) Failed To Protect Women Individually.

When A Government Requires A Man To Support A Child He Was Tricked Into Creating, That Government Subsidizes Fraud. No. It Is Worse Than That: It Subsidizes The Woman Using A Man's Body For 18-21 Years Without His Consent.

When I Feel Very Loved, When I Nurture And Support People, My Experience Is Deepened. I Feel Connected To A Larger Purpose And Meaning.

Many Black Men Leave Because They Are Financially Responsible - Not Because They Are Emotionally Irresponsible.

In Brief, Our Genetic Heritage Is At Odds With Our Genetic Future. For The First Time In Human History, The Qualities It Takes To Survive As A Species Are Compatible With The Qualities It Takes To Love.

Men Are The Rosie-the-riveters Of Parenting. They're Brought In Only When Needed, And Considered Disposable Thereafter.

It Is In The Interests Of Both Sexes To Hear The Other Sex's Experience Of Powerlessness.

In Stage I, Divorces Were Not Allowed, So Men's [sexual] Affairs Did Not Put Women's Economic Security In Jeopardy; In Stage Ii, Affairs Could Lead To Divorce, So Men's Affairs Did Place Women's Economic Security In Jeopardy. We Did Not Want Political Leaders Who Would Be Role Models For Behavior That Would Put Women's Economic Security In Jeopardy.

There Are 80 Jobs In Which Women Earn More Than Men - Positions Like Financial Analyst, Speech-language Pathologist, Radiation Therapist, Library Worker, Biological Technician, Motion Picture Projectionist.

Men Don't Oppress Women Any More Than Women Oppress Men.

Being Forced Into Early Retirement Can Be To A Man What Being "given Up For A Younger Woman" Is For A Woman.

Financial Analysts Make A Lot More Than Accountants.

Male Makeup Is Men's Titles, Status And Paying For Dates. Makeup Is What Both Sexes Use To Bridge The Gap Between The Power They Have And The Power They'd Like To Have. Both Male And Female Makeup Are Compensations For Feelings Of Powerlessness.

Throughout My Life I Have Always Been Amazed That People Couldn't Listen To Other People, That They Couldn't Hear Their Best Intent, That There Seemed To Be An Enormous Need To Demonize.

Feminists Have Confused Opportunity With Outcome.

We Would Not Think Of Allowing A Man To Determine A Woman's Life Merely Because A Fetus He Helped Create Was In Her Womb; Then Why Would We Allow A Woman To Determine A Man's Life Merely Because A Fetus He Helped Create Is In Her Womb?

Men Will Not Change As Long As Women 'marry Up.' Men Won't Change Until We Have A Perspective On How Powerless Power Makes Us. A Woman Cannot Help A Man Change Until She Has A Perspective On How Powerless Power Makes Men.

The 'enduring Theme' [in Fiction] Of Male Competition And Female Competition For The Hero/survivor Has Taken Us From The Fittest Surviving To The Brink Of No One Surviving. Sex Roles Have Gone From Functional To Dysfunctional Almost Overnight. This Is Why The Enduring Theme Must Be Questioned Now.

When A Dad Admits He Is Wrong Or Asks For Help, He Allows The Child To See Him- Or Herself As Adequate Even When She Or He Is Also Wrong. It Encourages Children To Make Suggestions And, Therefore, To Discover Their Creativity Because They Have A Chance Of Making A Contribution.

In 1969, Nationwide, Female Professors Who Had Never Been Married And Never Published Earned 145% Of Their Counterpart Male Colleagues.

Let's Face It: Men Do A Lot Of Things In The Workplace That Women Just Don't Do.

When We Commit Violence Against An Infant Girl, We Call It Child Abuse; When We Commit Violence Against An Infant Boy, We Call It Circumcision.

Perhaps The Best Reason To Consider The Hard Sciences Is That, Well, One Study Suggests Science, Engineering, Medicine, And Dentistry Graduates Live Longer Than Arts Graduates (or Law Grads). So Whatever Money You Make You Can Keep A Bit Longer.

People Who Work 44 Hours Per Week Make 50 Percent More Than People Who Work 34 Hours A Week.

Is There Discrimination Against Women? Yes. There's No Denying That The Old Boys' Network Is Alive And Well. But There's Also Discrimination Against Men.

Women's Genetic Celebrity Power Magnifies Men's Protector Instinct. It Inspires The Government-as-substitute-husband. Men's Addiction To The Genetic Celebrity Is Either Invisible Or In The Denial Stage Thus We Either Don't See It, Or When Confronted, Deny It.

A Woman With Organizing Skills Can Run A Construction Company Without Ever Picking Up A Hammer And Nail.

For The First Time In Human History The Psychology That Is A Prerequisite For Intimacy Has Become The Psychology That Is A Prerequisite For Species Survival.

Ive Always Been Motivated To Stop People From Doing Dysfunctional Things.

Industrialization Created The Father's Catch-22: A Dad Loving His Children By Being Away From The Love Of His Children.

Asking The Legal System To Resolve Divorce Is Like Asking A Boxing Coach To Be Our Marriage Counselor.

And With The Rape, I Was Showing Why The Rape Statistics Are Exaggerated, And Saying That Date Rape Was Much More Complex Than The Way Feminists Had Portrayed It, As Men Oppressing Women.

Sexual Harassment In The Workplace Confuses Rewards For Performance With Rewards For Attractiveness And Sexual Availability.

Now, Since I'm A Husband And Father, Discrimination Against Women Isn't Just Political, It's Personal.

Crime, Especially Crime Involving Money, Reflects The Gap Between The Expectation To Provide And The Ability To Provide... If We Really Want Men To Commit Crime As Infrequently As Women, We Can Start By Not Expecting Men To Provide For Women More Than We Expect Women To Provide For Men.

Nobody Has Said To Men, It Is Ok If You Want To Be A Full-time Dad; Find A Woman Who Will Support You.

One Can Make A Case That Says That Since 85% Of Children Being Brought Up In Single Family Homes Are Being Brought Up By Women That About 85% Of Elementary School Teachers Should Be Males To Balance Out The Feminization That The Boys And Girls Receive.

Men Make More Money But Have Lower Net Worths.

When I Lose My Larger Sense Of Supporting People To Be Their Best, I Lessen My Contact With The God Inside Me.

A 2001 Survey Of Business Owners With Mbas Conducted By The Rochester Institute Of Technology Found That Money Was The Primary Motivator For Only 29% Of Women, Versus 76% Of Men. Women Prioritized Flexibility, Fulfillment, Autonomy And Safety.

Both Parents' Rights Must Be In Balance So Children Can Grow Up With A Balance Between Both Parents.

My Wife's Income Allowed Me To Do What I Really Loved. I Realized That Women's Liberation Is Men's Liberation, Too.

Women's Greater Social Desirability And Beauty Power Afford Opportunities For Creating Both Measurable And Invisible Income. While The Opportunities Are Available To Almost All Women And Some Men, They Are Available In Abundance To The Genetic Celebrity ... A Woman So Beautiful That Men Do More Than Look And Talk--they Follow Her.

Both Sexes Allow Men Dentists Inside Our Mouths, But, Well, Have You Ever Let A Man Who Is A Dental Hygienist Inside Your Mouth? The Man Must Earn His Way To Our Private Places In A Way Not Required Of A Woman--he Must Become The Doctor Or The Dentist, Or Forget It.

Men Are Fair, And They Have Learned Not To Personalize Anger - They Can Disagree With You And Argue To The Bone, But Afterward They Still Consider You A Nice Person With Whom The Underlying Human Relationship Need Not Be Altered.

The World Increasingly Allows Girls To Be Whoever They Wish To Be - Homemaker, Mother, Secretary, Executive.

Choosing Safety Is A Choice Of Life Over Career.

[this Is] The Basis Of The Innocent Woman Defense The Innocent Woman Principle:;: Women Are Believed When They Say They Are Innocent Of Violence And Most Easily Doubted When They Say They Are Guilty Of Violence.

Employers Are Not Prohibited From Practicing Sex Discrimination In Hiring And Promoting Employees.

Why Do We Resist Giving Help To Homeless Men? In Part Because We Don't Understand How Our Pressure On Men To Support Families Often Forces Men To Take Transient Jobs That Are But A Step Away From Homelessness (the Death-of-a-salesman Jobs, The Migrant Worker Jobs...) And In Part Because We Respond Differently To Men Who Fail [than Women Who Fail].

The Legal Bias For Special Protection For Women Has Begun To Wreak Havoc With The Constitution's Guarantee Of Equal Protection.

Women's Liberation And The Male Midlife Crisis Were The Same Search--for Personal Fulfillment, Common Values, Mutual Respect, Love. But While Women's Liberation Was Thought Of As Promoting Identity, The Male Midlife Crisis Was Thought Of As An Identity Crisis.

One Danger Of A Man Succeeding Is That It Teaches His Wife And Daughter Not To Worry About Success.

The Worst Aspect Of Dating From The Perspective Of Many Men Is How Dating Can Feel To A Man Like Robbery By Social Custom - The Social Custom Of Him Taking Money Out Of His Pocket, Giving It To Her, And Calling It A Date. To A Young Man, The Worst Dates Feel Like Being Robbed And Rejected. Boys Risk Death To Avoid Rejection (e.g., By Joining The Army

The Rules Of Sexism Do Not Free Men From The Terror Of Violence; They Only Keep Men From Complaining About It.

A Family That Knows How To Play Together Has The Tools To Stay Together.

Men Are Not Only Women's Unpaid Bodyguards, They Actually Pay To Be A Woman's Bodyguard.

We Have Entered 'the Era Of The Three-option Woman And The No-option Man.'

Women's Vulnerability Confessing Their Desire To See Men As A Success Object Is Matched By Men's Confession Of Compulsiveness Of Sexual Desire For Women.

The Only Men Who Aren't In Fear Of Women's Reactions Are Usually Men Who Aren't Born Or Who Are Dead.

By The 1970s, The American Woman Was Being Called 'liberated' Or 'superwoman' While The American Man Was Being Called 'baby Killer' If He Fought In Vietnam, 'traitor' If He Protested, Or 'apathetic' If He Did Neither. Even Men Who Came Home Paraplegics Were Literally Spit On.

He And She Become Selective At Different Points; She Can Be Selective When He Wants His Primary Fantasy - Sex; He Can Be Selective When She Wants Her Primary Fantasy - Commitment.

Empathy Is At The Core Of Family Stability And Love. I've Never Had A Couple Come To Me And Say, I Want A Divorce; My Partner Understands Me.

When A Parent Denies A Child Its Parent Time, That Parent Is Denying The Child Its Child Support - Its Psychological Child Support.

For Me, The Massiveness Of What I Don't Know Is One Way I Experience God. It Creates In Me A Feeling Of Humility And A Sense Of Gratitude.

It Is Important That A Woman’s “noes” Be Respected And Her “yeses” Be Respected.

No Movement Calls [migrant Workers] Oppressed For Providing Money For Women From Whom They Are Receiving Neither Cooking Nor Cleaning; For Providing Their Wives With Homes While They Sleep On The Ground.

The Problem With Every Judgment Of Sexual Behavior Is That It Is Made By People Who Aren't Being Stimulated As They Are Making The Judgment. A Jury That Sees A Woman In A Sterile Courtroom, Asks Her What She Wanted, And Then Assumes That Anything Else She Did Was The Responsibility Of The Man Is Insulting Not Only The Woman But The Power Of Sex.

On A Deeper Level, If Our Sons Are Learning They Are Obscene, Disgusting, And Untrustworthy, Is This The Best Preparation For Fatherhood? And Is It The Best Preparation For Becoming A Mother - To Feel This Way About Her Son?

In Fact, The Socialization Gives Us The Tools To Fill Our Evolutionary Roles. They Are Our Building Blocks.

Programs Like Wic (women, Infants, And Children) Subsidize The Exclusion Of Dads.

Self-help Books For Those Who Believe 'you Can Have It All' Often Advise, 'follow Your Bliss And Money Will Follow.' With The Collapse Of The Stock Markets The Reality Of Trade-offs Is More Like, 'when You Follow Your Bliss, It's Money You'll Miss.'

I'm An Awfully Loyal Friend. Once I've Started A Relationship With Someone, It's Like They Are Syrup And I'm A Pancake. Their Syrup Gets Into My Pancake, So To Speak.

The Money Men Make From Their Willingness To Work The Least Desirable Hours Is Not A Sign Of Discrimination Against Women, But A Sign Of The Willingness Of Mostly Married Men To Lose Sleep To Support The Family As Their Wife Loses Sleep To Feed The Child. A Willingness To Do The Uncomfortable Shifts Is One Reason Married Men Earn More Than Twice What Never-married Men Earn. Men's Contribution, Made At Night, Need Not Be Lost In The Dark.

If An Employer Had To Pay A Man One Dollar For The Same Work A Woman Could Do For 59 Cents, Why Would Anyone Hire A Man?

If A Female Employee Is Offended, A Boss Would Like Her To Tell Him, Not Sue Him.

Men May Be Way Behind In Creating Choices For Themselves, But Have Actually Been Quiet Supporters Of The Choices Women Want For Themselves.

In Brief, We Do More Research On Men In Prison, Men In The Military, And Men In General Than We Do On Women For The Same Reason We Do More Research On Rats Than We Do On Humans.

At This Moment In History, Millions Of 'working Dads' Are Desiring To Do What They Do Not Feel They Have The Right To Do: Be More Devoted As A Dad, Less Devoted As A Worker. This Feeling Is Far More Ubiquitous Among Men Executives Than Women Executives In Many Areas Of The World Because, For Instance, Asia-pacific Women Executives Today Are More Than Six Times As Likely To Not Have Children Than Men Executives Are. The Asia-pacific Executive Man Is About Six Times As Likely To Be A Working Dad As An Executive Woman Is To Be A Working Mom.

I'm Not Saying That Men Make Better Fathers Than Women Do Mothers.

Students Coming From Father-present Families Score Higher In Math And Science Even When They Come From Weaker Schools.

People Who Get Higher Pay Are More Willing To Relocate--especially To Undesirable Locations At The Company's Behest... A Corporate Secretary May Change Companies In The Same Town; A Corporate Executive Is More Likely To Change Towns With The Same Company. A Talented Corporate Secretary Sees An Invitation To Relocate As An Invitation; A Future Corporate Executive Sees An Invitation To Relocate As An Opportunity--and An Obligation.

As I Looked More Carefully At The Listening Matrix I Saw That During The Past Twenty Years We Had Taken A Magnifying Glass To The First Of These Four Quadrants, The Female Experience Of Powerlessness. I Saw I Was Subconsciously Making A False Assumption: The More Deeply I Understood Women's Experience Of Powerlessness, The More I Assumed Men Had The Power Women Did Not Have. In Fact, What I Was Understanding Was The Female Experience Of Male Power.

A Shared Choice Movement Sees The Fetus As The Genes Of A Woman And The Genes Of A Man; The Flesh Of The Woman, The Flesh Of The Man; The Bone Of A Woman, The Bone Of A Man; The Responsibility Of A Woman, The Responsibility Of A Man; The Rights Of A Woman, The Rights Of A Man. It Desires A Transition To Equality.

Women And Men Look At Their Life, And Women Say, What Do I Need? Do I Need More Money, Or Do I Need More Time? And Women Are Intelligent Enough To Say, I Need More Time. And So, Women Lead Balanced Lives; Men Should Be Learning From Women.

When Divorces Meant Marriage No Longer Provided Security For A Lifetime, Women Adjusted By Focusing On Careers As Empowerment. But When The Sacrifice Of A Career Met The Sacrifices In A Career, The Fantasy Of A Career Became The Reality Of Trade-offs. Women Developed Career Ambivalence.

Somehow, Women's Romance Novels Are Not Titled He Stopped When I Said "no". They Are, Though, Titled Sweet Savage Love, In Which The Woman Rejects The Hand Of Her Gentler Lover Who Saves Her From The Rapist And Marries The Man Who Repeatedly And Savagely Rapes Her. It Is This "marry The Rapist" Theme That Not Only Turned Sweet Savage Love Into A Best-seller But Also Into One Of Women's Most Enduring Romance Novels.

Women-in-jeopardy Movies Are, In Essence, The Updated Versions Of Men Dying To Save The Princess From The Dragon To Earn Her Love. They Are Modern-day Training Films For Teaching Women To Select The Best Protectors While Weeding Out The Rest.

Companies Like I.b.m. Have Offered Women Scholarships To Study Engineering For Years, And Women Engineers Routinely Get Higher Starting Salaries Than Men.

It Is Important For A Father Who Feels Pushed Away [by The Mom] To Say, In Effect, When You Do That, I Feel Unwanted As A Father, Or I Feel My Rough-housing Is Not Bad Parenting; It's My Contribution To Helping Our Child Take Risks. Women Cannot Hear What Men Do Not Say.

How Can I Call Security A Woman's Primary Fantasy If I Am Saying It Is Also Her Primary Need? Because While Her Primary Need Is The Security Of A Home And A Family Circle, Her Primary Fantasy Is That Someone Else Will Earn Enough To Pay For Them. Hence The Focus Of 2 Billion Women On The Latest Royal Wedding.

Although Our Grammar Schools Are Teaching A Whole Generation Computer Language To Adjust To The Technological Needs Of A Stage Ii [post Survival-focused] Society, We Have Neglected To Teach This Generation Relationship Language And Conflict Resolution Skills To Address The Social And Psychological Needs Of A Stage Ii Society. And When It Is Taught, In Countries Like Germany, Although Called Social Competence It Focuses On Workplace Teamwork - Still On Survival, Breadwinner Oriented Work Goals.

The Average Full-time Working Male Works More Than A Full-time Working Female.

Men’s Greatest Weakness Is Their Facade Of Strength, And Women’s Greatest Strength Is Their Facade Of Weakness.

So We've Moved From An Era When Women's Biology Was Women's Destiny To Today, Which Is An Era In Which Men's Biology Is Men's Destiny.

A Man Convicted Of Murder Is Twenty Times More Likely Than A Woman Convicted Of Murder To Receive The Death Penalty. Since The 1976 Reinstatement Of The Death Penalty, 120 Men And Only 1 Woman Have Actually Been Executed. The Woman, From North Carolina, Said She Preferred To Be Executed. In North Carolina, A Man Who Commits Second-degree Murder Receives A Sentence On Average Of 12.6 Years Longer Than A Woman Who Commits Second-degree Murder.

When We Hear Men Are The Greater Victims Of Crime, We Tend To Say, 'well, It's Men Hurting Other Men.' When We Hear That Blacks Are The Greater Victims, We Consider It Racist To Say, 'well, It's Blacks Hurting Blacks.' The Victim Is A Victim No Matter Who The Perpetrator Was.

Is A Man's Body At Stake? Any Time A Man Is Asked To Work To Pay Child Support, He Is Using His Body, His Time, His Life - Not For Nine Months, But For A Minimum Of 18 To 21 Years. So The Motto Of The Feminist With Integrity Is, 'it's A Woman's And Man's Right To Choose Because It Is A Woman's And Man's Body At Stake.'

Survey 2001: Men Who Never Married, Never Had A Child, Worked Full Time And Were College Educated Earn Only 85% Of What Women With The Same Criteria Earn.

Raising Children Was Not Designed For Single Parents. (which Is Why Divorce Was Such A Taboo Prior To Birth Control).

Blacks Are Six Times More Likely Than Whites To Be Victims Of Homicides.

To Me, God Is The Accumulated Wisdom I've Gathered Throughout My Life. When I Pay Attention, My Body Gives Me A Printout Of This Wisdom.

Without Husbands, Women Have To Focus On Earning More. They Work Longer Hours, They're Willing To Relocate And They're More Likely To Choose Higher-paying Fields Like Technology.

For Thousands Of Years, Most Marriages Were In Stage I--survival-focused. After World War Ii, Marriages Increasingly Flirted With Stage Ii--a Self-fulfillment Focus... Love's Definition Is In A Transition.

If Women Had To Promise To Provide For A Man For A Lifetime Before He Removed His Veil And Showed Her His Smile, Would We Think Of This As A System Of Female Privilege?

Ideally There Should Not Be A Men's Movement But A Gender Transition Movement; Only The Power Of The Women's Movement Necessitates The Temporary Corrective Of A Men's Movement. And This Creates A Special Challenge For Men: There Are Few Political Movements Filled With Healthy People, Yet Few Healthy Changes Have Occurred Without Political Movements.

Once Boys' And Men's Challenges Are Clear, The Question 'why Now' Quickly Becomes 'why Didn't We See This Sooner?' The Answer? Virtually Every Society That Survived Did So By Socializing Its Sons To Be Disposable.

Men Tuned Into Women But Not Tuned Into Their Own Hurts Usually Retained The Attitude That Women Needed Special Protection.

A Person Working 45 Hours Per Week Averages 44% More Income Than Someone Working 40 Hours Per Week. That's 44% More Income For 13% More Time.

As Long As Society Tells Men To Be The Salespersons Of Sex, It Is Sexist For Society To Put Only Men In Jail If They Sell Well. We Don't Put Other Salespersons In Jail For Buying Clients Drinks And Successfully Transforming A "no" Into A "maybe" Into A "yes." If The Client Makes A Choice To Drink Too Much And The "yes" Turns Out To Be A Bad Decision, It Is The Client Who Gets Fired, Not The Salesperson.

Men Are Often A Lot Less Vindictive Than Women Are, Because We Are Rejected Constantly Every Day.

There Are 25 Differences In The Way Women And Men Behave In The Workplace. These 25 Differences Lead To Men Receiving Higher Pay And Women Having Better Lives Or At Least More Balanced Lives.

Framework, (...) Addiction To Female Beauty And Sex; Deprivation Of The Beautiful Woman And Sex With Her Until The Man Guarantees Economic Security In Return; (.

A Man Cannot Tell Whether A Woman Is In Love With Him Or His Security Blanket Until She Is Financially And Psychologically Independent Enough To Leave. Until A Woman Has Learned How To Leave, Even She Cannot Be Sure She Has Learned To Love.

I Am Often Asked Why Men Don't Get As Worked Up As They Might About Women - Particularly Poor Women - Having To Use Their Bodies As Prostitutes. Because Most Men Unconsciously Experience Themselves As Prostitutes Every Day - The Miner, The Firefighter, The Construction Worker, The Logger, The Soldier, The Meatpacker - These Men Are Prostitutes In The Direct Sense: They Sacrifice Their Bodies For Money And For Their Families.

Construction Workers

I Started To Get Very Well Recognized In The Early Seventies As The Only Man In The United States Who Had Been Elected Three Times To The Board Of Now In New York City.

Feminists Often Discuss Women Having Two Jobs: Work And Children. True. But No One Discusses Those Divorced And Remarried Men Who Have Three Jobs: Work, And Two Sets Of Children To Nurture And Financially Support.

When Women And Men Have Approximately Equal Life Expectancies, It Seems To Be Because Women Die Not Only In Childbirth (fewer Than Thought) But About Equal From Diseases; Poor Sanitation And Water; Inadequate Healthcare; And Diseases Of Malnutrition. In Industrialized Societies, Early Deaths Are Caused More By Diseases Triggered By Stress, Which Breaks Down The Immune System. It Is Since Stress Has Become The Key Factor That Men Have Died So Much Sooner Than Women.

Sexual Harassment Legislation Feels Unfair To Men Because If They Sued Over An Ethnic Joke, Or Over A Woman Discussing Pornography Or Asking Them Out, They'd Be Laughed Out Of The Company.

Solutions: Seek An Understanding Of The Other Sex's Best Intent.

Even A 30-year-old Man Whose Wife Dies Is Eleven Times More Likely To Commit Suicide Than A 30-year-old Man Whose Wife Is Living. At Age 30, When Men Can Bury Themselves In Their Jobs And Are Physically And Financially Attractive To Women, The Loss Of The One Woman A Man Loves Is So Devastating It Is Often Not Softened Even By The Opportunities For Many Women... In Brief, It Is The Loss Of Love That Devastates Men.

I Define Power As Control Over One's Life. Pay Is Not About Power. Pay Is About Giving Up Power To Get The Power Of Pay.

When Women Are At The Height Of Their Beauty Power And Exercise It, We Call It Marriage. When Men Are At The Height Of Their Success Power And Exercise It, We Call It A Mid-life Crisis.

I Found That Women Entrepreneurs Earn 50% Less Than Their Male Counterparts.

The Government Passed More Laws To Protect Women From Dirty Jokes Than To Protect Men From Death By Faulty Rafters At A Construction Site.

Our Love For Children Is So Immediate In Part Because We Feel Their Powerlessness Immediately; Conversely, Part Of The Way We Deny Our Love For Men Is By Denying Men's Powerlessness. Too Often We Have Confused Love For Men With Respect For Them, Especially For Their Power To Take Care Of Us - Which Is Really Just Love For Ourselves.

By Starving Our Children Of Men, We Have Made Them More Vulnerable To The Very Abuse We Are Trying To Prevent.

If Women Really Earned Fifty-nine Cents To The Dollar For The Same Work As Men, What Business Could Compete Effectively By Hiring Men At Any Level?

Hazing Is Both Testing And Training To Subordinate Self To The Team.

Trending Author

Yvette Nicole Brown

Category