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When A Party Can't Think Of Anything Else They Always Fall Back On Lower Taxes. It Has A Magic Sound To A Voter, Just Like Fairyland Is Spoken Of And Dreamed Of By All Children. But No Child Has Ever Seen It; Neither Has Any Voter Ever Lived To See The Day When His Taxes Were Lowered. Presidents Have Been Promising Lower Taxes Since Washington Crossed The Delaware By Hand In A Row Boat. But Our Taxes Have Gotten Bigger And Their Boats Have Gotten Larger Until Now The President Crosses The Delaware In His Private Yacht.

-Will Rogers

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When A Party Can't

Will Rogers

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When A Party Can't Think Of Anything Else They Always Fall Back On Lower Taxes. It Has A Magic Sound To A Voter, Just Like Fairyland Is Spoken Of And Dreamed Of By All Children. But No Child Has Ever Seen It; Neither Has Any Voter Ever Lived To See The Day When His Taxes Were Lowered. Presidents Have Been Promising Lower Taxes Since Washington Crossed The Delaware By Hand In A Row Boat. But Our Taxes Have Gotten Bigger And Their Boats Have Gotten Larger Until Now The President Crosses The Delaware In His Private Yacht.

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I Hope We Never Live To See The Day When A Thing Is As Bad As Some Of Our Newspapers Make It.

Newspapers Journalism

When You Have Helped To Raise The Standard Of Cooking, You Have Helped To Raise The Only Thing In The World That Really Matters. We Only Have One Or Two Wars In A Lifetime, But We Have Three Meals A Day -- There's Nothing In The World That We Do As Much As We Do Eating.

We Cuss Congress, And We Joke About 'em, But They Are All Good Fellows At Heart, And If They Wasn't In Congress, Why, They Would Be Doing Something Else Against Us That Might Be Even Worse.

All One Has To Do To Get One's Stuff In The Congressional Record Is To Find A Stenographer That Can Stay Awake Long Enough To Take It Down. Then You Mark In The 'applause' And 'laughter' Parts Yourself.

If You Are Trying To Get Out Of The Hole, Stop Digging.

We Can't All Be Heroes, Because Somebody Has To Sit On The Curb And Applaud When They Go By.

The Only Real Diplomacy Ever Performed By A Diplomat Is In Deceiving Their Own People After Their Dumbness Has Got Them Into A War.

I Doubt If A Charging Elephant, Or A Rhino, Is As Determined Or Hard To Check As A Socially Ambitious Mother.

You Know You Are Getting Old When Everything Either Dries Up Or Leaks.

I Guess Truth Can Hurt You Worse In An Election Than About Anything That Can Happen To You.

The South Is Dry And Will Vote Dry. That Is, Everybody That Is Sober Enough To Stagger To The Polls Will.

When A Party Can't Think Of Anything Else They Always Fall Back On Lower Taxes. It Has A Magic Sound To A Voter, Just Like Fairyland Is Spoken Of And Dreamed Of By All Children. But No Child Has Ever Seen It; Neither Has Any Voter Ever Lived To See The Day When His Taxes Were Lowered. Presidents Have Been Promising Lower Taxes Since Washington Crossed The Delaware By Hand In A Row Boat. But Our Taxes Have Gotten Bigger And Their Boats Have Gotten Larger Until Now The President Crosses The Delaware In His Private Yacht.

One Of These Days They Are Going To Remove So Much Of The 'hooey' And The Thousands Of Things The Schools Have Become Clogged Up With, And We Will Find That We Can Educate Our Broods For About One-tenth Of The Price And Learn 'em Something That They Might Accidentally Use After They Escape.

Don't Gamble; Take All Your Savings And Buy Some Good Stock And Hold It Till It Goes Up, Then Sell It. If It Don't Go Up, Don't Buy It.

I Guess There Is Nothing That Will Get Your Mind Off Everything Like Golf. I Have Never Been Depressed Enough To Take Up The Game, But They Say You Get So Sore At Yourself You Forget To Hate Your Enemies.

This Country Has Gotten Where It Is In Spite Of Politics, Not By The Aid Of It. That We Have Carried As Much Political Bunk As We Have And Still Survived Shows We Are A Super Nation.

Don't Invite Me If You Don't Want Me.

Don't Raise Anything, Except What Fits Your Appetite. Then The Price Don't Worry You. Just Raise All You Can Eat And Let The Low Prices Go By.

You Have To Have A Serious Streak In You, Or You Can't See The Funny Side Of The Other Fellow.

Coolidge Made Less Speeches And Got More Votes Than Any Man That Ever Run. (william Jennings) Bryan Was Listened To And Cheered By More People Than Any Single Human In Politics, And He Lost. So There Is A Doubt Just Whether Talking Does You Good Or Harm.

Andrew Jackson Was The First One To Think Up The Idea To Promise Everybody That If They Will Vote For You, You Will Give Them An Office When You Get It, And The More Times They Vote For You, The Bigger The Office.

If Any Of Us Had A Child That We Thought Was As Bad As We Know We Are, We Would Have Cause To Start To Worry.

The Trouble With Our Praying Is, We Just Do It As A Means Of Last Resort.

You Shake A Slogan At An American And It's Just Like Showing A Hungry Dog A Bone.

Politics Are Receiving A Lot Of Attention Because We Have Nothing Else To Interest Us. No Nation In The History Of The World Was Ever Sitting As Pretty. If We Want Anything, All We Have To Do Is Go And Buy It On Credit. So That Leaves Us Without Any Economic Problem Whatever, Except Perhaps Some Day To Have To Pay For Them. But We Are Certainly Not Thinking About That This Early.

It Sure Did Kick Up Some Excitement In The Senate When One Senator Called The Other Senators 'sons Of Wild Jackasses.' Well, If You Thought It Made The Senators Hot, You Wait Till You See What Happens When The Jackasses Hear How They Have Been Slandered.

I Never Met A Man I Didn't Get A Kind Of Strange And Exciting Tingling Sensation From.

Civilization Has Taught Us To Eat With A Fork, But Even Now If Nobody Is Around We Use Our Fingers.

Everything Is Funny As Long As It Is Happening To Somebody Else, But When It Happens To You, Why It Seems To Lose Some Of Its Humor, And If It Keeps On Happening, Why The Entire Laughter Kinder Fades Out Of It.

Polo, Racing And Horse Shows All Are Doing Great Work To Help The Farmer And Rancher To Raise Better Horses.

Farmers And Ranchers

George Bernard Shaw Of England Stopped Over Just Long Enough To Make One Speech In Bombay, India, Started A War And 100 Indians Killed Each Other. That's What I Call Good Speech-making. The Only Enthusiasm Any Of Our Speakers Can Rouse Is A Demand To Kill The Speaker.

The French Couldn't Hate Us Any More Unless We Helped 'em Out In Another War.

With All Our Crime And All Our Immorality ... And About As Much Contentment And Respose As A Fresh-caged Hyena, We Go To Tell The Whole World: We Are The Only One With The Right Idea!

If You Make Any Money, The Government Shoves You In The Creek Once A Year With It In Your Pockets, And All That Don't Get Wet You Can Keep.

We Will Never Get Anywhere With Our Finances Till We Pass A Law Saying...every Time We Appropriate Something, We...pass Another Bill...stating Where The Money Is Coming From.

There Is Nothing Fairer Than Workmen Having Unions Of Their Mutual Benefit.

There Is Not A Man In The Country That Can't Make A Living For Himself And Family. But He Can't Make A Living For Them And His Government, Too, The Way His Government Is Living. What The Government Has Got To Do Is Live As Cheap As The People

I Am Always Going To Do My Best, No Matter Where I Am.

The Crime Of Taxation Is Not In The Taking It, It's In The Way That It's Spent.

There Ain't Nothing That Breaks Up Homes, Country And Nations Like Somebody Publishing Their Memoirs

We Are All Ignorant. We Are Just Ignorant About Different Things.

When The Okies Left Oklahoma And Moved To California, They Raised The Average Intelligence Level In Both States.

My Forefathers Didn't Come Over On The Mayflower, But They Met The Boat.

Native American

Money And Women Are The Most Sought After And The Least Known About Of Any Two Things We Have.

Nobody Wants To Be Called Common People, Especially Common People.

Things In Our Country Run In Spite Of Government, Not By Aid Of It.

When You Are Satisfied, You Are Successful. For That's All There Is To Success Is Satisfaction.

There Is No Income Tax In Russia. But There's No Income.

I Represent What Is Left Of A Vanishing Race, And That Is The Pedestrian. That I Am Still Able To Be Here, I Owe To A Keen Eye And A Nimble Pair Of Legs. But I Know They'll Get Me Someday.

When You Find Yourself In A Hole, Quit Digging.

Finding Yourself

Digging Ditches

Fanatical Religion Driven To A Certain Point Is Almost As Bad As None At All, But Not Quite.

So Here We Are In A Country With More Wheat And Corn And More Money In The Bank, More Cotton, More Everything In The World-there's Not A Product That You Can Name That We Haven't Got More Of Than Any Other Country Ever Had On The Face Of The Earth-and Yet We've Got People Starving. We'll Hold The Distinction Of Being The Only Nation In The History Of The World That Ever Went To The Poor House In An Automobile.

It Would Drive A Person Crazy To Dope Out Really What Does Divide The Two Parties. Prosperity Don't Divide The Two Parties, For Under Either Administration The Poor Get Poorer And The Rich Get Richer.

If I Studied All My Life, I Couldn't Think Up Half The Number Of Funny Things Passed In One Session Of Congress.

If We Got One-tenth Of What Was Promised To Us In These Acceptance Speeches There Wouldn't Be Any Inducement To Go To Heaven.

Keeping Promises

The Country Has Gone Sane And Got Back To Horses.

That's One Thing About Republican Presidents. They Never Went In Much For Plans. They Only Had One Plan. It Says "boys, My Head Is Turned. Just Get It While You Can.

The Bankers Just Got A Good Cussing By Everybody For Loaning Too Much Money. Well, They Got Some Awful Nice Buildings. So When A Banker Fails, He Fails In Splendor.

They Have Passed The Big Inheritance Tax, And That Gets You When You Are Gone. You Used To Could Die And Be Able To Beat Taxes, But Not Now. The Undertaker Don't Go Over Your Body As Carefully As The Assessor Does Your Accumilated Assets, And He Gets His Before The Undertaker. They Have It On These Big Fortunes Now Where They Pay As High As 60 To 70 Percent Of What They Leave. That's Mighty Expensive Dying When It Runs Into Money Like That, And You Won't See 'em Dropping Off As Casually As They Have Been.

If We Took Congress Seriously, We Would Be Worrying All The Time.

All I Know Is Just What I Read In The Papers, And That's An Alibi For My Ignorance.

A Man That Don’t Love A Horse, There Is Something The Matter With Him.

I Don't Know How I Got Over The Hill Without Getting To The Top.

You Can't Say Civilization Don't Advance... In Every War They Kill You In A New Way.

The Older We Get, The Fewer Things Seem Worth Waiting In Line For.

Funny Happy Birthday

Waiting In Line

The Good Old Horse-and-buggy Days: Then You Lived Until You Died And Not Until You Were Run Over.

I Would Never Make A Good Economist. You Know, An Economist Is A Man That Can Tell You Anything About — Well, He Will Tell You What Can Happen Under Any Given Condition — And His Guess Is Liable To Be As Good As Anybody Else's, Too.

Some Say, What Is The Salvation Of The Movies? I Say, Run 'em Backwards. It Can't Hurt 'em And It's Worth A Trial.

I Know Worrying Works, Because None Of The Stuff I Worried About Ever Happened.

Farmers Have About Given Up Hope Of Getting Farm Relief And Have Decided To Fertilize Instead.

The Stock Market Has Spoiled More Appetites Than Bad Cooking.

I Don't Know How A Lot Of These Nations Existed As Long As They Have Till We Could Get Some Of Our People Around And Show 'em How To Be Good And Pure Like Us.

They Are Having Quite An Argument Over Treasury Secretary Mellon's Tax Bill. Mr. Mellon Wants To Cut The Surtax On The Rich, And Leave It As Is On The Poor, As There Is More Poor Than Rich. I Suppose The Majority Will Win.

Lord, Let Me Live Until I Die.

Invest In Inflation. It Is The Only Thing Going Up.

There Ought To Be One Day - Just One - When There Is Open Season On Senators.

Borrowing Money On What's Called 'easy Terms,' Is A One-way Ticket To The Poor House. If You Think It Ain't A Sucker Game, Why Is Your Banker The Richest Man In Your Town? Why Is Your Bank The Biggest And Finest Building In Your Town? Instead Of Passing Bills To Make Borrowing Easy, If Congress Had Passed A Bill That No Person Could Borrow A Cent Of Money From Any Other Person, They Would Have Gone Down In History As Committing The Greatest Bit Of Legislation In The World.

We Americans Think We Are Pretty Good! We Want To Build A House, We Cut Down Some Trees. We Want To Build A Fire, We Dig A Little Coal. But When We Run Out Of All These Things, Then We Will Find Out Just How Good We Really Are.

In Washington, One Man Could Do What Ten Of Them Do. There Could Be Only A Quarter Or A Third As Many Congressmen Or Senators, And We Would Pick Better Ones Then. But It's The System That We Have Always Used, And There Is No Use Getting All Overcome With Perspiration Over It. Things Kinder Run Themselves, Anyhow.

There Is Not A Better Day In The World To Be Spent Than With A Lot Of Wise Old Cowmen Around Barbecued Beef, Black Coffee And Good "free Holy" Beans.

A Foreigner Coming Here And Reading The Congressional Record Would Say That The President Of The United States Was Elected Solely For The Purpose Of Giving Senators Somebody To Call A Horse Thief.

Horses Raise What The Farmer Eats And Eats What The Farmer Raises. You Can't Plow The Ground And Get Gasoline.

Spinnin' A Rope Is Fun If Your Neck Ain't In It

You Shouldn't Say Anything Mean About People Who Can't Read. You Should Write It Instead.

The Only Time People Dislike Gossip Is When You Gossip About Them.

I Guess There Is No Two Races Of People In Worse Repute With Everybody Than The International Bankers, And The Folks That Put All Those Pins In New Shirts.

Work To Make A Living; Serve To Make A Life.

If You Got A Dollar, Soak It Away, Put It In A Savings Bank, Bury It, Do Anything But Spend It. Spending When We Didn't Have It Put Us Where We Are Today. Saving When We've Got It Will Get Us Back To Where We Was Before We Went Cuckoo.

The Whole Financial Structure Of Wall Street Seems To Rise Or Fall On The Mere Fact That The Federal Reserve Bank Raises Or Lowers The Amount Of Interest. Any Business That Can't Survive A One Percent Change Must Be Skating On Thin Ice. Why Even The Poor Farmer Took A Raise Of Another Ten Percent Just To Get A Loan From The Bank, And Nobody From The Government Paid Any Attention. But You Let Wall Street Have A Nightmare And The Whole Country Has To Help To Get Them Back Into Bed Again.

If We Could Just Go Back The Last Two Or Three Years And Do Our Buying A Little More Carefully, Why... We Would Be O.k.

When Should A College Athlete Turn Pro? Not Until He Has Earned All He Can In College As An Amateur.

The Lord So Constituted Everybody That No Matter What Color You Are You Require The Same Amount Of Nourishment.

We Always Want The Best Man To Win An Election. Unfortunately, He Never Runs.

There Are Three Types Of Men In The World. One Type Learns From Books. One Type Learns From Observations. And One Type Just Has To Urinate On The Electric Fence Himself.

We're All Ignorant, Just About Different Stuff.

If You Don't Have Malice In Our Heart, It Doesn't Come Across Harsh.

I Have Always Noticed That People Will Never Laugh At Anything That Is Not Based On Truth.

Broad-minded Is Just Another Way Of Saying A Fellow Is Too Lazy To Form An Opinion.

We Are Here Just For A Spell And Then Pass On. So Get A Few Laughs And Do The Best You Can. Live Your Life So That Whenever You Lose It, You Are Ahead.

She Was So Ugly She Could Make A Mule Back Away From An Oat Bin.

There Will Never Be A Time When The Old Horse Is Not Superior To Any Auto Ever Made.

I Never Took A Human Life, I Only Sold The Fellow The Gun To Take It With.

Funny To Watch These Senators Switching Back And Forth On Prohibition. Politics Is A Great Character Builder. You Have To Take A Referendum To See What Your Convictions Are For That Day.

The Old Horse Is Coming Back In A High Lope. Thousands Of People Are Riding A Horse Today That Five Years Ago Couldn't Sit In A Ford With All The Doors Locked.

When You're Through Learning, You're Through.

Farmers, Get Out Your Sense Of Humor. Congress Meets To Relieve You Again Next Week.

You Politicians Have Got To Look Further Ahead; You Always Got A Putter In Your Hands, When You Ought To Have A Driver.

If You Can Build A Business Up Big Enough, It's Respectable.

In Hollywood The Woods Are Full Of People That Learned To Write But Evidently Can't Read. If They Could Read Their Stuff, They'd Stop Writing.

I See Where They Are Going To Be More Strict With These Robbers; When They Catch 'em From Now On, They're Going To Publish Their Names.

A Comedian Can Only Last Till He Either Takes Himself Serious Or His Audience Takes Him Serious.

Instead Of Giving Money To Found Colleges To Promote Learning, Why Don't They Pass A Constitutional Amendment Prohibiting Anybody From Learning Anything? If It Works As Good As The Prohibition One Did, Why, In Five Years We Would Have The Smartest Race Of People On Earth.

We Know Lots Of Things We Didn't Use To Know But We Don't Know Any Way To Prevent 'em From Happening.

Many A Politician Wishes There Was A Law To Burn Old Records.

It's Almost Worth The Great Depression To Learn How Little Our Big Men Know.

Great Depression

I Remember When Being Liberal Meant Being Generous With Your Own Money.

We Don't Know What We Want, But We Are Ready To Bite Somebody To Get It

I Wonder If It Isn't Just Cowardice Instead Of Generosity That Makes Us Give Tips.

If You Want To Know When A War Might Be Coming, You Just Watch The U.s. And See When It Starts Cutting Down On Its Defenses. It's The Surest Barometer In The World.

Be Thankful We're Not Getting All The Government We're Paying For.

Just Read The Farm Relief Bill. It's Just A Political Version Of Einstein's Last Theory. If A Farmer Could Understand It, He Certainly Would Know More Than To Farm. He Would Be A Professor At Harvard.

Even If You're On The Right Track, You'll Get Run Over If You Just Sit There. My Folks Were Indian. Both My Mother And Father Had Cherokee Blood In Them. I Was Born And Raised In Indian Territory. 'course We're Not The Americans Whose Ancestors Came Over On The Mayflower, But We Met Them At The Boat When They Landed.

Old Hollywood Is Just Like A Desert Water In Africa. Hang Around Long Enough And Every Kind Of Animal In The World Will Drift In For Refreshments.

You Can't Legitimately Kick On Income Tax, For It's On What You Have Made. You Have Already Made It. But, Look At Land, Farms, Homes, Stores, Vacant Lots. You Pay Year After Year On Them Whether You Make It Or Not.

It Looks Like The Financial Giants Of The World Have Bungled As Much As The Diplomats And Politicians. This Would Be A Great Time In The World For Some Man To Come Along That Knew Something.

Even When You Make A Tax Form Out On The Level, You Don't Know When It's Through If You Are A Crook Or A Martyr.

In The Middle West Now You Got To Put A Brand On Your Soil, Then In The Spring Go On A Round-up Looking For It.

Things Will Get Better - Despite Our Efforts To Improve Them.

Things Will Get Better

You Must Judge A Man's Greatness By How Much He Will Be Missed.

The Income Tax Has Made Liars Out Of More Americans Than Golf.

In The Early Days Of The Indian Territory, There Were No Such Things As Birth Certificates. You Being There Was Certificate Enough.

You Could Be The World's Greatest Orator And If You Don't Say Anything While Orating, They Are Going To Walk Out On You After A While.

A Debt Is Just As Hard For A Government To Pay As It Is For An Individual. No Debt Ever Comes Due At A Good Time. Borrowing Is The Only Thing That Seems Handy All The Time.

We Owe More Money Than Any Nation In The World, And We Are Lowering Taxes. When Is The Time To Pay Off A Debt If It Is Not When You Are Doing Well? You Let A Politician Return Home From Washington And Announce, 'boys We Lowered Your Taxes. We Had To Borrow The Money To Do It, But We Did It.' Say, They Would Elect Him For Life.

Ignorance Lies Not In The Things You Don't Know, But In The Things You Know That Ain't So.

Nothing You Can't Spell Will Ever Work.

You've Never In Your Life Seen A Picture, I Bet Any One Of You, Never Seen A Picture Of One Of These Old Pilgrims Praying When They Didn't Have A Gun Right By The Side Of Them. That Was To See That He Got What He Was Praying For.

You See, In Washington They Have These Bodies, Senate And The House Of Representatives. That Is For The Convenience Of The Visitors. If There Is Nothing Funny Happening In One, There Is Sure To Be In The Other, And In Case One Body Passes A Good Bill, Why, The Other Can See It In Time And Kill It.

Where I Come From, They Won't Let Me Play With This Rope. They Think I Might Hurt Myself.

If The Other Fellow Sells Cheaper Than You, It Is Called Dumping. 'course, If You Sell Cheaper Than Him, That's Mass Production.

Don't Let Yesterday Use Up Too Much Of Today.

America Is A Great Country, But You Can't Live In It For Nothing.

I Love Horses And I Only Ask-don't Let Me Know Which One We Are Eating Today.

Wall Street Is Being Investigated, But They Are Not Asleep While It's Being Done. You See Where The Senate Took That Tax Off The Sales Of Stocks, Didn't You? Saved 'em $48,000,000. Now, Why Don't Somebody Investigate The Senate And See Who Got To Them To Get That Tax Removed? That Would Be A Real Investigation.

I Have Indian Blood In Me. I Have Just Enough White Blood For You To Question My Honesty!

Native American

Cattlemen Have Lost More In The Last Few Years Than Anybody And Say Less About It.

The Minute A Thing Is Long And Complicated, It Confuses. Whoever Wrote The Ten Commandments Made 'em Short. They May Not Always Be Kept, But They Are Understood.

I Love A Dog. He Does Nothing For Political Reasons.

A Successful Outcome Shows What Hard Work, Perseverance And Taking Advantage Of Your Opportunities Will Do For You.

Why Don't Somebody Print The Truth About Our Present Economic Situation? We Spent Six Years Of Wild Buying On Credit - Everything Under The Sun, Whether We Needed It Or Not - And Now We Are Having To Pay For 'em, And We Are Howling Like A Pet Coon.

Never Blame A Legislative Body For Not Doing Something. When They Do Nothing, That Don't Hurt Anybody. When They Do Something Is When They Become Dangerous.

The Time To Save Is Now. When A Dog Gets A Bone, He Doesn't Go Out And Make A Down Payment On A Bigger Bone. He Buries The One He's Got.

Don't Wait To Buy Land, Buy Land And Wait.

Wish All The Farmers Would Move To Town One Year, That's The Only Way I Know To Clear The Thing Up.

I Read Where They Are Going To Limit Debate In The Senate. It Used To Be That A Man Could Talk All Day, But Now, As Soon As He Tells All He Knows, He Has To Sit Down. Most Of These Birds Will Just Be Getting Up And Nodding Now. Why, Some Of Them Won't Be Able To Answer Roll Call.

A Republican Moves Slowly. They Are What We Call Conservatives. A Conservative Is A Man Who Has Plenty Of Money And Doesn't See Any Reason Why He Shouldn't Always Have Plenty Of Money. A Democrat Is A Fellow Who Never Had Any, But Doesn't See Any Reason Why He Shouldn't Have Some.

When You Straddle A Thing It Takes A Long Time To Explain It.

Ohio Claims They Are Due A President As They Haven't Had One Since Taft. Look At The United States, They Have Not Had One Since Lincoln.

The Money Was All Appropriated For The Top In The Hopes That It Would Trickle Down To The Needy. Mr. Hoover Didn’t Know That Money Trickled Up. Give It To The People At The Bottom And The People At The Top Will Have It Before Night, Anyhow. But It Will At Least Have Passed Through The Poor Fellow’s Hands.

People Are Getting Smarter Nowadays; They Are Letting Lawyers, Instead Of Their Conscience, Be Their Guide.

I Am Just An Old Country Boy In A Big Town Trying To Get Along. I Have Been Eating Pretty Regular And The Reason I Have Been Is Because I Have Stayed An Old Country Boy.

If I Could Kick The Person In The Tail That Causes Me The Most Problems I Could Not Sit Down For A Week

Get A Sales Tax, Small On Necessities And Large On Luxuries; Then A Stiff Inheritance Tax On The Fellow That Saves And Don't Spend. That Will Get Him Either Way. A Tax Paid On The Day You Buy Is Not As Tough As Asking You For It The Next Year When You Are Broke.

Here's Another Way Of Putting It. Roosevelt Wants Recovery To Start At The Bottom. In Other Words, By A System Of High Taxes, He Wants Business To Help The Little Fellow To Get Started And Get Some Work, And Then Pay Business Back By Buying Things When He's At Work. Business Says, 'let Everybody Alone. Let Business Alone, And Quit Monkeying With Us, And We'll Get Everything Going For You, And If We Prosper, Naturally The Worker Will Prosper.'

The President Says, 'there Is Lots Of People Worse Off Than The Farmers.' I Don't Know Who It Could Be Unless It Is The Fellow Who Holds The Mortgages On The Farms.

Alexander Hamilton Originated The Put And Take System In Our National Treasury: The Taxpayers Put It In, And The Politicians Take It Out

You Could Transfer Congress Over To Run Standard Oil Or General Motors, And They Would Have Both Things Bankrupt In Two Years.

We Have Killed More People Celebrating Our Independence Day Than We Lost Fighting For It.

When You Figure It Right Down, None Of Us Are In A Really Essential Business But The Farmer, And He Raises So Much That Even His Business Is Partly Non-essential.

Prosperity This Winter Is Going To Be Enjoyed By Everybody That Is Fortunate Enough To Get Into The Poor Farm.

Steak On The Plate Went Up. Steak On The Hoof Went Down.

There Is No More Independence In Politics Than There Is In Jail.

A King Can Stand People's Fighting But He Can't Last Long If People Start Thinking.

Just Been Talking Today Out Here To All The Senators Investigating These Stock Swindles And Overcapitalizations. There Has Been Hundreds Of Millions Lost. There Ought To Be Some Form Of Guardianship For People That Buy All This Junk. Education Won't Do It. The Buyers Are The Ones We Have Educated Up Till They Are Just Smart Enough To Fall For Everything That Comes Along.

Millions And Millions Of People Don't Pay An Income Tax, Because They Don't Earn Enough To Pay On One, But You Pay A Land Tax Whether It Ever Did Or Ever Will Earn You A Penny. You Should Pay On Things That You Buy Outside Of Bare Necessities. I Think This Sales Tax Is The Best Tax We Have Had In Years.

Hurray! Congress Is To Adjourn! Only Four More Days Of Congressional Burglary On The Treasury!

I Never Met A Man That I Didn't Like.

Golf Is Good For The Soul. You Get So Mad At Yourself You Forget To Hate Your Enemies.

Let Advertisers Spend The Same Amount Of Money Improving Their Product That They Do On Advertising And They Wouldn't Have To Advertise It.

Advertisement Negative

Everybody Is Ignorant, Only On Different Subjects.

People's Minds Are Changed Through Observation And Not Through Argument.

If You Get To Thinking You're A Person Of Some Influence, Try Ordering Somebody Else's Dog Around.

What Would We Say If The Chinese Sent A Gunboat With Their Marines Up The Mississippi River Claiming They Were Protecting Their Laundries In Memphis?

Ability Is All Right But If It Is Not Backed Up By Honesty And Public Confidence You Will Never Be A Successful Person. The Best A Man Can Do Is To Arrive At The Top In His Chosen Profession. I Have Always Maintained That One Profession Is Deserving Of As Much Honor As Another Provided It Is Honorable.

Everything Is Funny, As Long As It's Happening To Somebody Else.

I Don't Think Either One Of Them Knows What It's All About, To Be Honest With You. Both Sides Are Doing Nothing But Just Looking Towards The Next Election.

Everything Worthwhile Is A Good Idea, But Did You Ever Notice There Is More Bad Ideas That Will Work Than There Is Good Ones?

Americans Are Getting Like A Ford Car, They All Have The Same Exact Parts, The Same Upholstering And Make Exactly The Same Noises.

A Company Is Known By The People It Keeps.

Wise Man Once Said

The Difference Between A Republican And A Democrat Is That The Democrat Is A Cannibal, They Live Off Each Other, While The Republicans Live Off The Democrats.

The Reason Political Party Platforms Are So Long Is That When You Straddle Anything It Takes A Long Time To Explain It.

I Don't Care How Poor And Inefficient A Little Country Is - They Like To Run Their Own Business. I Know Men That Would -make My Wife A Better Husband Than I Am But, Darn It, I'm Not Going To Give Her To 'em.

The Only Way You Can Beat The Lawyers Is To Die With Nothing.

Why One Ad Is Worth More To A Paper Than 40 Editorials.

More Men Have Been Elected Between Sundown And Sunup Than Ever Were Elected Between Sunup And Sundown.

No Man Can Be Condemned For Owning A Dog. As Long As He Has A Dog, He Has A Friend; And The Poorer He Gets, The Better Friend He Has.

A Difference Of Opinion Is What Makes Horse Racing And Missionaries.

You Know Horses Are Smarter Than People. You Never Heard Of A Horse Going Broke Betting On People.

Of Course Nothing Is Ever Done About A [presidential] Commission Report, Except, They Say, Once A Man At The State Prison For The Criminally Insane Actually Read One Once Clear Through. Then He Did Something About It. He Made A Bonfire That Lasted A Week.

With Old Inflation Riding The Headlines, I Have Read Till I Am Bleary-eyed, And I Can't Get Head From Tails Of The Whole Thing. ... Now We Are Living In An Age Of Explanations-and Plenty Of 'em, Too-but No Two Things That's Been Done To Us Have Been Explained Twice The Same Way, By Even The Same Man. It's And Age Of In One Ear And Out The Other.

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