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A Republican Moves Slowly. They Are What We Call Conservatives. A Conservative Is A Man Who Has Plenty Of Money And Doesn't See Any Reason Why He Shouldn't Always Have Plenty Of Money. A Democrat Is A Fellow Who Never Had Any, But Doesn't See Any Reason Why He Shouldn't Have Some.

-Will Rogers

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A Republican Moves Slowly.

Will Rogers

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A Republican Moves Slowly. They Are What We Call Conservatives. A Conservative Is A Man Who Has Plenty Of Money And Doesn't See Any Reason Why He Shouldn't Always Have Plenty Of Money. A Democrat Is A Fellow Who Never Had Any, But Doesn't See Any Reason Why He Shouldn't Have Some.

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The Trip Across Arizona Is Just One Oasis After Another. You Can Just Throw Anything Out And It Will Grow There, I Like Arizona.

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Politics Is The Best Show In America. I Love Animals And I Love Politicians, And I Like To Watch Both Of 'em At Play, Either Back Home In Their Native State, Or After They've Been Captured And Sent To A Zoo, Or To Washington.

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The Reason Political Party Platforms Are So Long Is That When You Straddle Anything It Takes A Long Time To Explain It.

One Wants Recovery To Start From The Bottom, And The Other Wants It To Start From The Top. I Don't Know Which Is Right. I've Never Heard Of Anybody Suggesting That They Might Start It In The Middle, So I Hereby Make That Suggestion. To Start Recovery Halfway Between The Two, Because It's The Middle Class That Does Everything Anyhow. But I Don't Know Anything About It.

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It's Getting So If A Man Wants To Stand Well Socially, He Can't Afford To Be Seen With Either The Democrats Or The Republicans.

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Legalize Racing In Every State. Sure People Will Bet, But They Get To See The Horses Run And You Certain Can't See General Motors And General Electric And General Utility Run When You Bet On Them.

Never Blame A Legislative Body For Not Doing Something. When They Do Nothing, That Don't Hurt Anybody. When They Do Something Is When They Become Dangerous.

You Can't Legitimately Kick On Income Tax, For It's On What You Have Made. You Have Already Made It. But, Look At Land, Farms, Homes, Stores, Vacant Lots. You Pay Year After Year On Them Whether You Make It Or Not.

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The Senate Just Sits And Waits Till They Find Out What The President Wants, So They Know How To Vote Against Him.

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Work To Make A Living; Serve To Make A Life.

The United States Investigates Everything - Usually After It's Dead.

There Ought To Be One Day - Just One - When There Is Open Season On Senators.

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A Vision, Without A Plan, Is Just A Hallucination.

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Old Hollywood Is Just Like A Desert Water In Africa. Hang Around Long Enough And Every Kind Of Animal In The World Will Drift In For Refreshments.

Everyone Is A Self-made Man. Only The Successful Admit It.

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The More That Learn To Read The Less Learn How To Make A Living. That's One Thing About A Little Education. It Spoils You For Actual Work. The More You Know The More You Think Somebody Owes You A Living.

When A Fellow Ain't Got Much Mind, It Don't Take Him Long To Make It Up.

I Arrived At My Hut In Beverly Hills Just In Time To Keep Real Estate Men From Plotting Off And Selling My Front Yard. They Will Sell You Anything Or Anybody's In The World As Long As They Can Get A First Payment... It Used To Be Only Iowa That Was Out Here But Now They Have Three Or Four Adjoining States Interested And They Are Here, Too. Real Estate Agents - You Never Saw As Many In Your Life; They Are As Thick As Bootleggers.

Lord, The Money We Do Spend On Government And It's Not One Bit Better Than The Government We Got For One-third The Money Twenty Years Ago.

Common Sense Is Not An Issue In Politics--it's An Affliction.

Any Person That Don't Read At Least One Well-written Country Newspaper Is Not Truly Informed.

It's Almost Worth The Great Depression To Learn How Little Our Big Men Know.

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There's Only One Thing That Can Kill The Movies, And That's Education.

The Good People Of Dakota Offered To Give Calvin Coolidge A Farm If He Would Live On It. I Wouldn't Advise You To Give Those People Too Much Credit For Generosity. There Is Not A Farmer In Any State In The West That Wouldn't Be Glad To Give Him A Farm If He Will Paint It, Fix Up The Fences And Keep Up The Series Of Mortgages That Are On It. And If You Think Coolidge Ain't Smart, You Just Watch Him Not Take It.

A Difference Of Opinion Is What Makes Horse Racing And Missionaries.

Senators Are A Never-ending Source Of Amusement, Amazement, And Discouragement.

A President Just Can't Make Much Showing Against Congress. They Lay Awake Nights, Thinking Up Things To Be Against The President On.

America Is A Great Country, But You Can't Live In It For Nothing.

Say Did You Read In The Papers About A Bunch Of Women Up In British Columbia As A Protest Against High Taxes, Sit Out In The Open Naked, And They Wouldent Put Their Clothes On? The Authorities Finally Turned A Sprayer That You Use On Trees, On 'em. That May Lead Into Quite A Thing. Woman Comes Into The Tax Office Nude, Saying I Won't Pay. Well They Can't Search Her And Get Anything. It Sounds Great. How Far Is It To British Columbia?

If There Are No Dogs In Heaven, Then When I Die I Want To Go Where They Went.

The Problem Ain't What People Know. It's What People Know That Ain't So That's The Problem.

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Everything Is Funny As Long As It Is Happening To Somebody Else, But When It Happens To You, Why It Seems To Lose Some Of Its Humor, And If It Keeps On Happening, Why The Entire Laughter Kinder Fades Out Of It.

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If You Want To Be Successful, It's Just This Simple. Know What You Are Doing. Love What You Are Doing. And Believe In What You Are Doing.

It's The Fellow Who Knows When To Quit That The Audience Wants More Of.

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I See A Good Deal Of Talk From Washington About Lowering Taxes-i Hope They Do Get 'em Lowered Enough So People Can Afford To Pay 'em

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Real Estate Is The Best Investment In The World Because It Is The Only Thing They're Not Making Any More.

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A Lot Of Guys Have Had A Lot Of Fun Joking About Henry Ford Because He Admitted One Time That He Didn't Know History. He Don't Know It, But History Will Know Him. He Has Made More History Than His Critics Ever Read.

When I Die, I Want To Die Like My Grandfather Who Died Peacefully In His Sleep. Not Screaming Like All The Passengers In His Car.

Andrew Jackson Was The First One To Think Up The Idea To Promise Everybody That If They Will Vote For You, You Will Give Them An Office When You Get It, And The More Times They Vote For You, The Bigger The Office.

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The Farmer Has To Be An Optimist Or He Wouldn't Still Be A Farmer.

The Bankers Just Got A Good Cussing By Everybody For Loaning Too Much Money. Well, They Got Some Awful Nice Buildings. So When A Banker Fails, He Fails In Splendor.

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There Wasn't Any Republicans In Washington's Day. No Republicans, No Boll Weevil, No Income Tax, No Cover Charge, No Disarmament Conference, No Luncheon Clubs, No Stop Lights, No Static, No Head Winds. My Lord, Living In Those Days, Who Wouldn't Be Great?

I Haven't Seen A Tractor Working All Day. The Country Has Gone Sane And Got Back To Horses. Farmers All Look Worse, But They Feel Better.

Prosperity This Winter Is Going To Be Enjoyed By Everybody That Is Fortunate Enough To Get Into The Poor Farm.

The Theater Is A Great Equalizer: It Is The Only Place Where The Poor Can Look Down On The Rich.

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Fanatical Religion Driven To A Certain Point Is Almost As Bad As None At All, But Not Quite.

When Everybody Has Got Money They Cut Taxes, And When They're Broke They Raise Them. That's Statesmanship Of The Highest Order.

Make Crime Pay. Become A Lawyer.

If You Let Women Have Their Way, You Will Generally Get Even With Them In The End.

Politicians Are Just A Bunch Of Local Bandits, Sent By Their Local Voters To Raid The Public Treasury.

Why One Ad Is Worth More To A Paper Than 40 Editorials.

There's No Way In The World You're Going To Make A Political Party Respectable Unless You Keep It Out Of Office.

A Successful Outcome Shows What Hard Work, Perseverance And Taking Advantage Of Your Opportunities Will Do For You.

It Costs Ten Times More To Govern Us Than It Used To, And We Are Not Governed One-tenth As Good.

Every Gag I Tell Must Be Based On Truth. No Matter How Much I May Exaggerate It, It Must Have A Certain Amount Of Truth.... Now Rumor Travels Faster, But It Don't Stay Put As Long As Truth.

The Self Persists Like A Dying Star, In Sleep, Afraid.

It's The Greatest Game I Ever Saw. You Can't Lose. Everybody Buys To Sell And Nobody Buys To Keep. What's Worrying Me Is Who Is Going To Be The Last Owner. It's Just Like An Auction; The Only One Stuck Is The Last One.

When You're Through Learning, You're Through.

The Taxpayers Are Sending Congressmen On Expensive Trips Abroad. It Might Be Worth It Except They Keep Coming Back

Sometimes People Deserve A High Five, In The Face, With A Chair.

I Tell You Folks, All Politics Is Applesauce.

I Was Just Thinking, If It Is Really Religion With These Nudist Colonies, They Sure Must Turn Atheists In The Wintertime.

Congress Knew Coolidge Would Veto The Farm Bill. There Was More Politics Than Relief In That Bill.

The Only Difference Between Death And Taxes Is That Death Doesn't Get Worse Every Time Congress Meets.

Now If There Is One Thing That We Do Worse Than Any Other Nation, It Is Try And Manage Somebody Else's Affairs.

Believe In Something For Another World, But Don't Be Too Set On What It Is, And Then You Won't Start Out That Life With A Disappontment. Live Your Life So That Whenever You Lose You Are Ahead.

There Is Something About A Republican That You Can Only Stand Him Just So Long; And On The Other Hand, There Is Something About A Democrat That You Can't Stand Him Quite That Long.

I Have A Scheme For Stopping War. It's This - No Nation Is Allowed To Enter A War Till They Have Paid For The Last One.

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Franklin D. Roosevelt

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