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Next Time Someone Tells Me They Believe In God, I'll Say 'oh Which One? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?...' If They Say 'just God. I Only Believe In The One God,' I'll Point Out That They Are Nearly As Atheistic As Me. I Don't Believe In 2,870 Gods, And They Don't Believe In 2,869.

-Ricky Gervais

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Next Time Someone Tells

Ricky Gervais

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Next Time Someone Tells Me They Believe In God, I'll Say 'oh Which One? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?...' If They Say 'just God. I Only Believe In The One God,' I'll Point Out That They Are Nearly As Atheistic As Me. I Don't Believe In 2,870 Gods, And They Don't Believe In 2,869.

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Next Time Someone Tells Me They Believe In God, I'll Say 'oh Which One? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?...' If They Say 'just God. I Only Believe In The One God,' I'll Point Out That They Are Nearly As Atheistic As Me. I Don't Believe In 2,870 Gods, And They Don't Believe In 2,869.

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Grass Is Greener On The Other Side

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I Think What Makes Us Human Is Those Choices - Whether To Tell The Truth Or Not.

Telling The Truth

I Never Understood Redemption When I Was Young. Even Before I Was An Atheist, I Always Thought With The Prodigal Son, "well, Why's He Getting The Special Treatment?"

Being An Atheist Makes Someone A Clearer Thinking, Fairer Person. They [atheists] Are Not Doing Things To Be Rewarded In Heaven; They're Doing Things Because They're Right, Because They Live By A Moral Code.

I Use People's Real Voices Because I Want Realism. So Often I Mention The Actors' Physicality Because I Want It To Be Like A Real Documentary.

I Don't Think It Matters If There Is A God Or Not. I've Met People Who Believe In God That Are Good And That Are Bad. And I've Met People Who Don't Believe In God That Are Good And That Are Bad. So, Just Be Good. I'm Good. Not Cos I Think I'll Go To Heaven But Because When I Do Something Bad, I Feel Bad. And When I Do Something Good, I Feel Good.

If There Is A God

Take A Picture Not A Trophy This Is How Real Men Shoot Animals

Whatever Else Is Happening, Things Are Better In The Sun.

I've Never Done Anything For The Common Consensus. I Do Things To Please Me. If You Are Happy With Something Yourself, You Become Bulletproof.

People Think That It's Fun To Meet Celebrities - But What Do You Mean By "celebrity"? Someone You Recognise? What Are They Famous For? It's People Who've Done Something That Are Exciting.

Same Sex Marriage Isn't Gay Privilege, It's Equal Rights. Privilege Would Be Something Like Gay People Not Paying Taxes. Like Churches Don't.

I Have To Be Excited, I Have To Have An Adrenaline Rush About Doing Something, Or It Bores Me, I Feel Trapped.

If There Is A God, Why Did He Make Me An Atheist?

If There Is A God

I Don't Think Humans Are Meant To Be Looked At When We're Buying Pants.

It's The Team That Matters. Where Would The Beatles Be Without Ringo. If John Got Yoko To Play Drums The History Of Music Would Be Completely Different.

Since There Is Absolutely No Logical Reason To Assume There Is An Afterlife, I Decided To Make The Life I Have Now As Much Fun As Possible.

Of All The Disciplines Involved In Making Anything - Tv, Film Or Anything I Do - The Writing Is The Most Valuable Commodity.

Even If It's Such A Lowly Art As Tv, You've Got To Get Stuff Off Your Chest, Because That's What Makes Something Different And Original, Your Particular Take On Stuff.

I've Never Regretted Saying No To Anything, Or Finishing Something. When I'm In The Middle Of Doing Something I Love, I Can Have A Better Idea, And I'll Go, "oh God, I Can't Finish This." Maybe I've Got Some Sort Of Disorder.

Most People Sitting At Home Aren't Cool, Successful, Witty Hollywood Stars, But They All Worry About What People Think Of Them When They Faux Pas.

You Want To See The People You've Sort Of Come To Know And Love, Or Love To Hate, You Want To See Them Develop In Some Way. And I Hope People Get Sort Of Caught Up In That Arc.

Avoid Employing Unlucky People - Throw Half Of The Pile Of Cvs In The Bin Without Reading Them.

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If I Do Eat Meat, It's Got To Be Ethical. I Want To Know That It Lived A Great Life Before It Was Killed Humanely.

I Don't See Myself As Part Of An Acting Fraternity Or A Comedy Fraternity.

I Think Sometimes You Get Given A Good Pile Of Goodwill, And It's Whether You Use It Up In The First Six Months Or Spread It Out Over A Career.

I've Got Three Friends That You'd Call Famous, But I'm Sure After 20 Years, Most Of My Friends Will Be Famous Or Work In Television, Because That's The Nature Of What Your Work Is. When I Was Working In An Office, Most Of My Friends Worked In Offices.

It's Better To Create Something That Others Criticise Than To Create Nothing And Criticise Others. Go Create, Have Fun!!

Comedy And Drama Are Different Sides Of The Same Coin. And The Thing About Comedy And Drama Is About Likability. It's About Character First. It's About Story. And For Me, It's About Empathy, And I Think The Realer Someone Is, The Further You Can Go Either Way With Them.

I Know How Much Embarrassment Hurts, And I Love It As A Theme Because You Can Keep Digging A Hole. It's Just An Endless Well, Embarrassment.

A Joke Isn't Yours. It's Used And You Don't Know Where It's Been.

I Think Comedy Has To Be An Intellectual Pursuit. It Comes Down To Logic And Analysis. As Soon As It Becomes Emotional, It's Not Comedy Anymore.

If You Walked Around Like David Bowie In 1973 In Reading, You'd Get Beaten Up. The 1970s In A Small Town Was More Like The 1950s.. And That's The Truth. The Backdrop Was Probably Victorian.

I Don't Live By "the Rules" You Know, And If There's One Person Who Has Influenced Me In That Way Of Thinking, Someone Who Is A Maverick, Someone Who Does 'that' To The System Then It's Ian Botham.

Just Looking At All The Faces Here Reminds Me Of Some Of The Great Work That Was Done This Year . . . By Cosmetic Surgeons.

I Remember One Review Of The Office Christmas Special That Compared It Unfavourably To Dickens. What? You're Saying I'm Not As Good As The Greatest Storyteller Ever. Boo! Boo! I Think I Can Live With That.

I Always Chose All My Friends On Whether They Were Funny. What's A Better Way To Pass The Time Than Laughing Or Smiling?

People See Me, And They See The Suit, And They Go: "you're Not Fooling Anyone", They Know I'm Rock And Roll Through And Through. But You Know That Old Thing, Live Fast, Die Young? Not My Way. Live Fast, Sure, Live Too Bloody Fast Sometimes, But Die Young? Die Old. That's The Way- Not Orthodox, I Don't Live By "the Rules" You Know.

Our Challenge With "the Office" And "extras" Was To Get It Completely Scripted But To Find A Cast That Could Make It Look Like They Were Saying It For The First Time.

Sometimes I'll Be Confident And Go Into A Shop And Say, "hello, Yeah, All Right," And Then The Next Day, If Someone Looks At Me Or Talks To Me, I Just Don't Know What To Do. If You're Walking Down The Street With A Baseball Cap, You Might Be Fine. But If You're In A Pub And You See Someone Look At You, You Think The Worst Thing In The World Now Is If They Come Over. It's A Really Weird Feeling.

You Won't Burn In Hell. But Be Nice Anyway.

I Always Knew I Had To Be 100 Percent In Charge, Even When I Was A Middle Manager. I Used To Say To My Boss, "just Give Me Enough Rope And Then Fire Me."

There's Nothing As Perfect As The Initial Idea. And The Only Reason I Write And Direct Is To Protect The Writing, Because That's What's Most Precious.

If You Pay Attention To Good Critics, You Have To Listen To The Bad. So You Have To Ignore Them All Really. You Can't Just Cherry Pick The Glowing Ones.

It's Quite Easy To Make A Load Of People Laugh, It's Often A Reflex Action, But I Think To Make Them Cry Is Harder Without Manipulating Them.

The Best Advice I've Ever Received Is, 'no One Else Knows What They're Doing Either.

For Any Of You Who Don't Know, The Golden Globes Are Just Like The Oscars, But Without All That Esteem. The Golden Globes Are To The Oscars What Kim Kardashian Is To Kate Middleton. A Bit Louder, A Bit Trashier, A Bit Drunker, And More Easily Bought.

My Greatest Hero Is Nelson Mandela. What A Man. Incarcerated For 25 Years, He Was Released In 1990 And He Hasn't Reoffended. I Think He's Going Straight, Which Shows You Prison Does Work.

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