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It's Interesting That Music In This Country... We Sort Of Sold Something To America With The Beatles And They Sold Something Back. And We've Never Been Afraid To Embrace American Style Rock 'n' Roll And Make It Our Own Over Here.

-Ricky Gervais

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It's Interesting That Music

Ricky Gervais

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It's Interesting That Music In This Country... We Sort Of Sold Something To America With The Beatles And They Sold Something Back. And We've Never Been Afraid To Embrace American Style Rock 'n' Roll And Make It Our Own Over Here.

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I Like My Baths Really Deep And Hot. But Washing Everything Only Takes A Few Minutes. So I Thought It Would Be A Waste To Just Flush All That Water Away. So There Was Nothing Else To Do But Take Pictures Of Myself Trying To Look As Horrendous As Possible. Oh My, What Have I Started?

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If You Pay Attention To Good Critics, You Have To Listen To The Bad. So You Have To Ignore Them All Really. You Can't Just Cherry Pick The Glowing Ones.

What Will It Feel Like After You Die? Exactly The Same As It Felt For Those Billions Of Years Before You Were Born.

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I Think Everyone Has The Ability To Be Loved.

I Don't See Myself As Part Of An Acting Fraternity Or A Comedy Fraternity.

Spirituality Really Lost Its Way When It Became A Stick To Beat People With: ‘do This Or You’ll Burn In Hell.

I'd Like To Thank God For Making Me An Atheist.

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Prison Population

I'm Quite Squeamish, Really. I'm Philistine And Unsophisticated - Not Because Of My Great Discerning Palate But Other Reasons. Some Are Moral Grounds, Some Texture.

Just Because You're Offended, Doesn't Mean You're Right.

People Confuse The Subject Of The Joke With The Target Of The Joke, And They're Very Rarely The Same.

Unlike Religious People, I Look At All Religions Equally.

I Have To Be Excited, I Have To Have An Adrenaline Rush About Doing Something, Or It Bores Me, I Feel Trapped.

Sometimes I'll Be Confident And Go Into A Shop And Say, "hello, Yeah, All Right," And Then The Next Day, If Someone Looks At Me Or Talks To Me, I Just Don't Know What To Do. If You're Walking Down The Street With A Baseball Cap, You Might Be Fine. But If You're In A Pub And You See Someone Look At You, You Think The Worst Thing In The World Now Is If They Come Over. It's A Really Weird Feeling.

When You Get Back Into The Editing Suite In The Cold Light Of Day, The Written Stuff Is Better.

I Know How Much Embarrassment Hurts, And I Love It As A Theme Because You Can Keep Digging A Hole. It's Just An Endless Well, Embarrassment.

It's Better To Create Something That Others Criticise Than To Create Nothing And Criticise Others. Go Create, Have Fun!!

You Can Just Keep Getting It Worse Until You Have To Pull Back And Let The Audience Breathe. But Yeah, I Really Love Digging.

Americans Are Brought Up To Believe They Can Grow Up To Be The President Of The United States. Brits Are Told, It Won't Happen To You.

Telling Someone With Depression To Pull Themselves Together Is About As Useful As Telling Someone With Cancer To Just Stop Having Cancer

Popularity And Democracy Aren't A Judge, They're Just Stats.

Most People Sitting At Home Aren't Cool, Successful, Witty Hollywood Stars, But They All Worry About What People Think Of Them When They Faux Pas.

I Always Knew I Had To Be 100 Percent In Charge, Even When I Was A Middle Manager. I Used To Say To My Boss, "just Give Me Enough Rope And Then Fire Me."

I See Myself Much More As A Writer/director Or At Least An Aspiring Writer/director - Not Necessarily In Film.

Aspiring Writers

We Didn't Evolve; God Made Us. So I Just Want To Explain To You Exactly How That Happened... Some Of The Things You'll Hear Do Sound A Little Bit Far-fetched. I Admit That. Then I Found Out That The Other Name For The Bible Is The Gospel, So It Is All True. Luckily, The Clue Is In The Title.

Same-sex Marriage Is Not A Gay Privilege, It's Equal Rights.

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I've Got The Attention Span Of A Child.

Same Sex Marriage Isn't Gay Privilege, It's Equal Rights. Privilege Would Be Something Like Gay People Not Paying Taxes. Like Churches Don't.

To Complain About Critics In A Business Is Like A Sailor Complaining About The Waves. Go Back To The Beach If You Don't Like It.

We Want To See A Struggle. We Want To See People Falling Over But Getting Themselves Back Up On Their Feet, And That's What's Extraordinary- Ordinary People And Their Struggle. There's Nothing As Interesting As Real Life Out Your Window. You Walk Down The Street For Half An Hour, I'll Give You Half An Hour Of Drama.

Some [people] Are Really Smart. You Know Who You Are. Some [people] Are Really Thick. Unfortunately, You Don't Know Who You Are.

I Remember One Review Of The Office Christmas Special That Compared It Unfavourably To Dickens. What? You're Saying I'm Not As Good As The Greatest Storyteller Ever. Boo! Boo! I Think I Can Live With That.

You See Reality Tv And It's Not Reality Tv. It's Contrived And Everything Is Plotted And Scripted Nearly. Documentaries Are The Same And Just As Bad.

I Don't Feel Any Pressure At All Because I Don't Care. That's An Occupational Hazard... But If You're Doing Anything Of Any Worth, And Not Doing Something That's Safe And Anodyne And Trying To Be Populist And A National Treasure, Then You've Got To Assume That As Many People Hate What You Do - And You - As Like What You Do And Like You.

Someone Trying To Be Funny Probably Isn't As Funny As Someone Who Doesn't Want To Be Funny But Is And Can't Help It. Someone Being Serious Or Angry Might Be Funny. If You Get Angry, The First Thing I Want To Do Is Laugh Because I Don't Know Why You're Getting That Angry. Pathos Makes Me Laugh, Funerals Make Me Laugh.

Funny Bones, To Me, Are More Important Than Funny Lines. If A Comedian Is Just Not Likable And Doing The Lines, You Could Read Them Yourself. Whereas If Someone [you Like] Shambles Out, And They Tell You What A Bad Day They've Had, They Don't Have To Say Anything. I Love Them. I Want To Hug Them Because They've Been Through Something. And It Comes Back To Empathy, Always Empathy.

You Try To Make Characters You Care About, And I Think Realism Helps. Even Though This Is A High Concept, The Characters Have Got To Be Real.

You Do Your Own Thing And You See If You Survive.

People Have Let Me Down In The Past. I've Loved Something, And It's Become A Disgrace. I'd Rather Start Again.

I Was Okay With Singing. I Always Sneak A Song Into Everything I Do. Dancing, A Little Awkward. Little Embarrassed About That. I Don't Move Well. But I Was With A Frog, So It Doesn't Matter. I'll Do Anything With A Frog, That's My Motto. He's Great With Tap-dancing Or Flap-dancing On My Head. So No One's Going To Be Looking At Me When We're Doing That Dance. They're Going To Be Saying, 'there's A Frog Dancing'.

My Philosophy? Have A Laugh For As Long As You Can And Don't Get Run Over. Or Stabbed.

It's A Privilege To Be In Such A Great Category Of People And... I Don't Believe In God, So I'd Like To Thank Dogs. Dogs Have Given Me Everything.

Real Racist Jokes Or Sexist Jokes Aren't Funny - Not Because They're Offensive, But Because They're Not True. As Soon As A Joke Is Based On An Untruth, It's Not Funny.

I No Longer Needed A Reason For My Existence, Just A Reason To Live. And Imagination, Free Will, Love, Humor, Fun, Music, Sports, Beer, And Pizza Are All Good Enough Reasons For Living. But Living An Honest Life - For That You Need The Truth.

The Grass Isn't Always Greener On The Other Side!

Grass Is Greener On The Other Side

It Annoys Me That The Burden Of Proof Is On Us. It Should Be "you Came Up With The Idea. Why Do You Believe It?" I Could Tell You I've Got Superpowers. But I Can't Go Up To People Saying "prove I Can't Fly." They'd Go: "what Do You Mean 'prove You Can't Fly'? Prove You Can!"

You Should Bring Something Into The World That Wasn't In The World Before. It Doesn't Matter What That Is. It Doesn't Matter If It's A Table Or A Film Or Gardening-everyone Should Create. You Should Do Something, Then Sit Back And Say 'i Did That.'

Funny Inspirational

The World Is Bigger Than All The Parts. That's The Important Thing, And One Thing Can Throw Everything Off Kilter. And You Must Never Let Yourself Off. You'll Let Yourself Off By Mistake. So You Shouldn't Do It Consciously. You Have To Be Above It All And Just Be Very Disciplined With It. Just Be Very Disciplined With It.

I've Never Regretted Saying No To Anything, Or Finishing Something. When I'm In The Middle Of Doing Something I Love, I Can Have A Better Idea, And I'll Go, "oh God, I Can't Finish This." Maybe I've Got Some Sort Of Disorder.

I've Got Three Friends That You'd Call Famous, But I'm Sure After 20 Years, Most Of My Friends Will Be Famous Or Work In Television, Because That's The Nature Of What Your Work Is. When I Was Working In An Office, Most Of My Friends Worked In Offices.

It's Interesting That Music In This Country... We Sort Of Sold Something To America With The Beatles And They Sold Something Back. And We've Never Been Afraid To Embrace American Style Rock 'n' Roll And Make It Our Own Over Here.

You Want To See The People You've Sort Of Come To Know And Love, Or Love To Hate, You Want To See Them Develop In Some Way. And I Hope People Get Sort Of Caught Up In That Arc.

Remember, No One Can Hurt Your Feelings Without Your Permission

Just Looking At All The Faces Here Reminds Me Of Some Of The Great Work That Was Done This Year . . . By Cosmetic Surgeons.

Know Your Limitations And Be Content With Them. Too Much Ambition Results In Promotion To A Job You Can't Do.

I See Atheists Are Fighting And Killing Each Other Again, Over Who Doesn't Believe In Any God The Most. Oh, No..wait.. That Never Happens.

Comedy Is A Medicine - A Healing Process That Can Help People Get Through Difficult Times And Understand Things Better

That's The Amazing Thing About Life. You Can Just Rub It Out, Like A Blackboard, And Start Again.

The Simple Fact Is, Offense Is Taken, Not Given.

Being On The Edge Isn't As Safe, But The View Is Better

My Greatest Hero Is Nelson Mandela. What A Man. Incarcerated For 25 Years, He Was Released In 1990 And He Hasn't Reoffended. I Think He's Going Straight, Which Shows You Prison Does Work.

Suggesting I Hate People With Religion Because I Hate Religion Is Like Suggesting I Hate People With Cancer Because I Hate Cancer.

I Like Big Escapist Films. It's Odd Because The Type Of Comedian I Am And The Things I Do When I'm Writing And Directing Myself Usually Deal With The Darker Side Of The Human Psyche And Excruciating Social Faux Pas. I Often Deal In Taboos And The Subjects I Do As A Stand-up Are Quite Challenging. But My Film Roles Have Been Much More Fun And Escapist.

The Existence Of God Is Not Subjective. He Either Exists Or He Doesn’t. It’s Not A Matter Of Opinion. You Can Have Your Own Opinions. But You Can’t Have Your Own Facts.

Science Seeks The Truth. And It Does Not Discriminate. For Better Or Worse It Finds Things Out. Science Is Humble. It Knows What It Knows And It Knows What It Doesn’t Know. It Bases Its Conclusions And Beliefs On Hard Evidence -- Evidence That Is Constantly Updated And Upgraded. It Doesn’t Get Offended When New Facts Come Along. It Embraces The Body Of Knowledge. It Doesn’t Hold On To Medieval Practices Because They Are Tradition.

If You Can't Joke About The Most Horrendous Things In The World, What's The Point Of Jokes? What's The Point In Having Humor? Humor Is To Get Us Over Terrible Things.

Opinions Don't Affect Facts. But Facts Should Affect Opinions, And Do, If You're Rational

The Best Way To Avoid Criticism Is Never Do Anything Ever. Or, Do What You Love, Have A Great Life & Let Others Spend Their Time Criticising.

The Only Reason I Work Out Is So I Can Eat More Cheese.

Wearing Cosmetics That Were Tested On Animals Makes You Ugly On The Inside

Next Time Someone Tells Me They Believe In God, I'll Say 'oh Which One? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?...' If They Say 'just God. I Only Believe In The One God,' I'll Point Out That They Are Nearly As Atheistic As Me. I Don't Believe In 2,870 Gods, And They Don't Believe In 2,869.

I Don't Think It Matters If There Is A God Or Not. I've Met People Who Believe In God That Are Good And That Are Bad. And I've Met People Who Don't Believe In God That Are Good And That Are Bad. So, Just Be Good. I'm Good. Not Cos I Think I'll Go To Heaven But Because When I Do Something Bad, I Feel Bad. And When I Do Something Good, I Feel Good.

If There Is A God

Our Challenge With "the Office" And "extras" Was To Get It Completely Scripted But To Find A Cast That Could Make It Look Like They Were Saying It For The First Time.

She Said, 'i'm Your Biggest Fan,' And I Said, 'who Are You?' She Said, 'paris Hilton.'

It Breaks Your Heart When You Throw Something Away, But It's What Left That Counts. It's Like Worrying About The Bits Of Rock You Have Knocked Off In Order To Make A Beautiful Statue. You've Wasted Half The Rock, Yeah, But It's The Venus Di Milo!

It's The Team That Matters. Where Would The Beatles Be Without Ringo. If John Got Yoko To Play Drums The History Of Music Would Be Completely Different.

That's What Life Is, It's The Small Struggles. You Walk Down The Street For Half An Hour, You See Half An Hour Of Drama. You Don't Need Convoluted Plot Lines. You Don't Need Long-lost Brothers. You Don't Need It's Set On The Future; It's Set On The Moon.

I Didn't Have Toys And Bikes; I'd Go Out And Pick Up Rocks. I Was Into Science And Nature. It Was My First Love. I Was Going To Be A Vet And A Marine Biologist. I Went To University And Studied Biology For Two Weeks And I Just Thought: "i've Been Conned!"

Try Something. And Never Be Afraid To Fail. That Failure Is Useful Too. It's Just Another Building Block.

My Ideal Meal Would Probably Be The Cheesiest Pasta Or Pizza, Followed By Something Creamy And Chocolaty. I Mean, Just The Worst Things, Really.

The Next Time Someone Is Critical Of You, Just Take A Moment To Consider Their Life. Then Smile To Yourself.

Atheism Is The Lack Of Belief In A God (or Gods). It Makes No Claim. It Merely Rejects The Claim That A God (or Gods) Exists. Nothing More.

I Fought A Bear Once. But It Started Crying, So I Let It Off.

The Service In L.a. Is The Best. You Don't Get Sarcastic, Surly, Fed-up Waiters And Waitresses Like You Do In England. They're Good At Their Job And They're There For The Customer. The Only Depressing Thing Is A Lot Of Them Have Written More Screenplays Than Me.

Comedy And Drama Are Different Sides Of The Same Coin. And The Thing About Comedy And Drama Is About Likability. It's About Character First. It's About Story. And For Me, It's About Empathy, And I Think The Realer Someone Is, The Further You Can Go Either Way With Them.

Blasphemy: A Law To Protect An All-powerful, Supernatural Deity From Getting Its Feelings Hurt.

If You Walked Around Like David Bowie In 1973 In Reading, You'd Get Beaten Up. The 1970s In A Small Town Was More Like The 1950s.. And That's The Truth. The Backdrop Was Probably Victorian.

I'm Not A Film Snob At All. I Much Prefer A Really Good Hollywood Blockbuster Than A Thought-provoking Art House Movie Because Entertainment Is Sort Of Where It's At.

Thought Provoking

There's No Difference Between Fame And Infamy Now. There's A New School Of Professional Famous People That Don't Do Anything. They Don't Create Anything.

I Can't Stand It. I Can't Stand Someone Being Embarrassed. I Don't Know Why. If Someone Slips Over And The First Thing They Do Is Look Around, I Pretend I Haven't Seen It.

Pol Pot - He Rounded Up Anybody He Thought Was Intellectual And Had Them Executed. And How He Told Someone Was Intellectual Or Not Was Whether They Wore Glasses. If They're That Clever, Take Them Off When They See Him Coming!

I Can't Find Someone Funny Whom I Don't Like. Hitler Told Great Jokes. I Didn't Find It Funny At All.

If David Brent Is The Best Thing That I Ever Come Up With, Then So Be It. What Are You Supposed To Do, Time The Best Thing You Do For Just Before You Die?

Honor Is A Gift A Man Gives Himself. You Can Be As Good As Anyone That Ever Lived. If You Can Read, You Can Learn Everything That Anyone Ever Learned. But You've Got To Want It.

I Used To Believe In God. The Christian One, That Is (there Are A Few Thousand To Choose From. But I Was Born In A Country Where The Dominant Religion Was Christianity So I Believed In That One. Isn't It Weird How That Always Happens?). Luckily I Was Also Interested In Science And Nature. And Reason And Logic. And Honesty And Truth. And Equality And Fairness. By The Age Of Eight I Was An Atheist.

Everyone Is Entitled To Their Opinion, But If You Believe In God, You're Wrong.

I Think Comedy Has To Be An Intellectual Pursuit. It Comes Down To Logic And Analysis. As Soon As It Becomes Emotional, It's Not Comedy Anymore.

Even If It's Such A Lowly Art As Tv, You've Got To Get Stuff Off Your Chest, Because That's What Makes Something Different And Original, Your Particular Take On Stuff.

When I Direct My Own Scripts, It's Much Easier As It's Been In My Head For A Year Already... What I Love About This Is Having An Idea And Seeing It Come To Fruition On Screen. I Would Like To Direct Someone Else's Script One Day, But I Might Not Get Round To It Before I Die - You Can't Legislate For Being Hit By A Bus!

I Don't Live By "the Rules" You Know, And If There's One Person Who Has Influenced Me In That Way Of Thinking, Someone Who Is A Maverick, Someone Who Does 'that' To The System Then It's Ian Botham.

People Think "the Office" Was Improvised, But It's All On The Page. We Do That Because What We Found Is That In The Early Days Of "the Office," We Went In With It Sort Of 80 Percent Scripted And We Did Some Things And Then We Improv'd And We Did - You Know, And It Gets A Laugh On The Floor Because It's The First Time They've Heard It.

Everyday Life Is Interesting Enough, Whether It Be In An Office Or Being Ignored On The Set Of Something Supposedly More Glamorous.

I Still See Myself As A Bit Of A Cottage Industry. Being In A Room Creating Stuff And Seeing If Anyone Wants It, As Opposed To Going To Work For Someone.

There Was A Nobility In Poverty When I Was Growing Up. My Mom Was Poor But She Was Planting Roses And She Was Cleaning The Steps, You Know What I Mean. You Didn't Feel Sorry For Yourself.

People See Me, And They See The Suit, And They Go: "you're Not Fooling Anyone", They Know I'm Rock And Roll Through And Through. But You Know That Old Thing, Live Fast, Die Young? Not My Way. Live Fast, Sure, Live Too Bloody Fast Sometimes, But Die Young? Die Old. That's The Way- Not Orthodox, I Don't Live By "the Rules" You Know.

I Think What Makes Us Human Is Those Choices - Whether To Tell The Truth Or Not.

Telling The Truth

Where There's A Will - There's A Relative!

Saying Atheism Is A Belief System Is Like Saying Not Going Skiing Is A Hobby.

I Think The Best Advice I'd Say To Any Actor When You Do Comedy Is Play It Straight.

You Won't Burn In Hell. But Be Nice Anyway.

When People Say To Me: Would You Rather Be Thought Of As A Funny Man Or A Great Boss? My Answer's Always The Same, To Me, They're Not Mutually Exclusive.

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