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John You Say You Met In An Elevator. Was The Elevator Going Up At The Time, Or Down? This Is Very Important, For Going Down In An Elevator One Always Has That Sinking Feeling And For All I Know You May Have This Confused With Love. If You Were Going Up, It Is Clearly A Case Of Love At First Sight.

-Groucho Marx

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John You Say You

Groucho Marx

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John You Say You Met In An Elevator. Was The Elevator Going Up At The Time, Or Down? This Is Very Important, For Going Down In An Elevator One Always Has That Sinking Feeling And For All I Know You May Have This Confused With Love. If You Were Going Up, It Is Clearly A Case Of Love At First Sight.

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John You Say You Met In An Elevator. Was The Elevator Going Up At The Time, Or Down? This Is Very Important, For Going Down In An Elevator One Always Has That Sinking Feeling And For All I Know You May Have This Confused With Love. If You Were Going Up, It Is Clearly A Case Of Love At First Sight.

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Why, I'd Horse-whip You If I Had A Horse.

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I Can't Understand Why You Don't Get Any Mail From Me. Perhaps It's Because I Haven't Been Writing

If The Garbage Man Calls, Tell Him We Don't Want Any.

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Don't Look Now, But There's One Too Many In This Room And I Think It's You.

It Is Impossible To Design Anything That Is Foolproof Because Fools Are So Ingenious.

One Woman And One Man Might Have Been Ok In Your Grandmother's Day, But Who Wants To Marry Your Grandmother? Not Even Your Grandfather!

I've Got The Brain Of A Four Year Old. I'll Bet He Was Glad To Be Rid Of It.

I Think That The Peeps Or Peppies Or Pipes Diaries Would Be Much More Popular Had There Been A Universal Pronuncation Of His Name.

Practically Everybody In New York Has Half A Mind To Write A Book, And Does.

Making Love To Your Wife Is Like Shooting At Sitting Ducks.

Afraid? Me? A Man Who's Licked His Weight In Wild Caterpillars?

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Yes, Darling, Let Me Cover Your Face With Kisses-on Second Thought, Just Let Me Cover Your Face

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Alimony Is Like Buying Hay For A Dead Horse.

You Get A Canoe Later And I'll Paddle You.

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Before You Speak, Make Certain You Have Something Worthwhile To Say.

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Money Will Not Make You Happy, And Happy Will Not Make You Money.

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I Cannot Say That I Don't Disagree With You.

Whatever It Is, I'm Against It.

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I Started Smoking As Soon As I Went On The Stage. I'd Make Cigars Out Of The Morning World When I Was A Kid.

A Black Cat Crossing Your Path Signifies That The Animal Is Going Somewhere.

Before I Speak, I Have Something Important To Say.

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I Never Go To Movies Where The Hero's Tits Are Bigger Than The Heroine's.

You Know I Could Rent You Out As A Decoy For Duck Hunters?

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You Can Leave In A Huff. Or You Can Leave In A Minute And A Huff.

Budget: A Way Of Going Broke Methodically

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Celebrate The Cracks, Because That's How The Light Comes In.

Well I Thought My Razor Was Dull Until I Heard His Speech, And That Reminds Me Of A Story That's So Dirty I'm Ashamed To Think Of It Myself.

If He's Been Married For 31 Years, He's Not The Same Man.

Women Should Be Obscene, Not Heard.

I'll Teach You To Kick Me...' You Don't Need To Teach Me--i Already Know How!

Some People Claim That Marriage Interferes With Romance. There's No Doubt About It. Anytime You Have A Romance, Your Wife Is Bound To Interfere.

I Have Just One Day, Today, And I'm Going To Be Happy In It.

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Do You Suppose I Could Buy Back My Introduction To You?

We Took Pictures Of The Native Girls, But They Weren't Developed. . . But We're Going Back Next Week.

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If You Find It Hard To Laugh At Yourself, I Would Be Happy To Do It For You.

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