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It's Just That I Don't Want To Be Somebody's Crush. If Somebody Likes Me, I Want Them To Like The Real Me, Not What They Think I Am. And I Don't Want Them To Carry It Around Inside. I Want Them To Show Me, So I Can Feel It Too.

-Stephen Chbosky

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It's Just That I

Stephen Chbosky

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It's Just That I Don't Want To Be Somebody's Crush. If Somebody Likes Me, I Want Them To Like The Real Me, Not What They Think I Am. And I Don't Want Them To Carry It Around Inside. I Want Them To Show Me, So I Can Feel It Too.

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I Don't Know What's Wrong With Me. It's Like All I Can Do Is Keep Writing This Gibberish To Keep From Breaking Apart.

When I Did A Study Of All The Coming-of-age Movies That Meant A Lot To Me, Whether It Was 'the Graduate' Or 'rebel Without A Cause' Or 'dead Poet's Society,' They All Had That Timeless Feel. None Of Them Were Completely Married To The Details Of Their Age. They Felt Timeless In Their Treatment Of It. That's What Made Them Resonate With Me.

It’s Like When You’re Excited About A Girl And You See A Couple Holding Hands, And You Feel So Happy For Them. And Other Times You See The Same Couple, And They Make You So Mad. And All You Want Is To Feel Happy For Them Because You Know That If You Do, Then It Means You’re Happy, Too.

Craig Said The Problem With Things Is That Everyone Is Always Comparing Everyone With Everyone

Sam Screamed The Fun Scream, And There It Was. Downtown Lights On Buildings And Everything That Makes You Wonder. Sam Sat Down And Started Laughing. Patrick Started Laughing. I Started Laughing. And In That Moment, I Swear We Were Infinite.

You Ever Think Charlie, That Our Group Is The Same As Any Other Group Like A Football Team? And The Only Real Difference Between Us Is What We Wear And Why We Wear It?

For Me Personally, As Much As I Don't Understand My Mom And Dad And As Much As I Feel Sorry For Them Sometimes, I Can't Help But Love Them Very Much.

I Hate You." I Love You." You're A Freak, You Know That? Everyone Says So. They Always Have." I'm Trying Not To Be.

And She Looked At Me Like She Couldn't Believe I Knew She Loved Anne Rice. I Guess He Didn't Know How Much She Talked Or How Much I Listened.

I Just Wish That God Or My Parents Or Sam Or My Sister Or Someone Would Just Tell Me What's Wrong With Me. Just Tell Me How To Be Different In A Way That Makes Sense. To Make This All Go Away.

The Thing Is, Some Girls Think They Can Actually Change Guys. And What’s Funny Is That If They Actually Did Change Them, They’d Get Bored. They’d Have No Challenge Left. You Just Have To Give Girls Some Time To Think Of A New Way Of Doing Things, That’s All. Some Of Them Will Figure It Out Here. Some Later. Some Never. I Wouldn’t Worry About It Too Much.

More Like The Movie Where The Guy Meets A Smart Girl Who Wears A Lot Of Sweaters And Drinks Cocoa. They Talk About Books And Issues And Kiss In The Rain.

As I Was Walking Up The Stairs To Dad's Old Room, And I Was Looking At The Photographs, I Started Thinking That There Was A Time When These Weren't Memories. That Someone Actually Took The Photograph, And The People In The Photograph Had Just Eaten Lunch Or Something.

I Just Laid Around In My Bed, Looking At The Ceiling, And I Smiled Because It Was A Nice Kind Of Quiet.

I Just Want You To Know That You’re Very Special… And The Only Reason I’m Telling You Is That I Don’t Know If Anyone Else Ever Has.

It Is Important To Say "sir" At These Moments. And If They Ever Call You By Your First-middle-last Name, You Better Watch Out. I'm Telling You.

You Get The Right Collection Of People Together And You Get The Atmosphere Together That It Is Very Free Where There Is No Judgment. If You Create An Atmosphere That Is Very Open You Steer The Ship.

The Juniors Were Acting Different Because They Are Now The Seniors. They Even Had T-shirts Made. I Don't Know Who Plans These Things.

What About When Someone Doesn't Need A Shoulder? What If They Need The Arms?

How About Your Favorite Book?" "this Side Of Paradise By From. Scott Fitzgerald." "why?" "because It Was The Last One I Read." This Made Them Laugh Because They Knew I Meant It Honest, Not Show-off. Then They Told Me Their Favorites, And We Sat Quiet.

Scott Fitzgerald

Love Pats Are Soft Punches Of Encouragement That Are Admistered On The Knee, Shoulder, And Arm.

Not Everyone Has A Sob Story, Charlie, And Even If They Do, It's No Excuse.

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I Wonder What It Will Be Like When I Leave This Place.

Bridget Who Is Crazy Said That Sometimes She Thought About Suicide When Commercials Come On During Tv. She Was Sincere And This Puzzled The Guidance Counselors.

I Was Looking At The Photographs And I Started Thinking That There Was A Time When These Weren't Memories.

I Walk Around The School Hallways And Look At The People. I Look At The Teachers And Wonder Why They're Here. If They Like Their Jobs. Or Us. And I Wonder How Smart They Were When They Were Fifteen. Not In A Mean Way. In A Curious Way. It's Like Looking At All The Students And Wondering Who's Had Their Heart Broken That Day, And How They Are Able To Cope With Having Three Quizzes And A Book Report Due On Top Of That. Or Wondering Who Did The Heart Breaking. And Wondering Why.

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Incidentally, I Only Have One Cavity, And As Much As My Dentist Asks Me To, I Just Can't Bring Myself To Floss.

Please Believe That Things Are Good With Me, And Even When They're Not, They Will Be Soon Enough. And I Will Always Believe The Same About You.

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I Found, Through The Process Of Doing 'the Perks Of Being A Wallflower,' That I Really Love Directing Movies And I Love Writing Books And So This Will Become The Centerpiece Of My Career For The Next Ten Or Twenty Years. Doing These Adaptations.

I Don't Know The Significance Of This, But I Find It Very Interesting.

Very Interesting

I Really Think That Everyone Should Have Watercolors, Magnetic Poetry, And A Harmonica.

And I Wonder If Anyone Is Really Happy. I Hope They Are. I Really Hope They Are.

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We Are All Supposed To Think Of Reasons To Live.

Despite Everything My Mom And Doctor And Dad Have Said To Me About Blame, I Can't Stop Thinking What I Know. And I Know That My Aunt Helen Would Still Be Alive Today If She Just Bought Me One Present Like Everybody Else. She Would Be Alive If I Were Born On A Day That Didn't Snow.

But Right Now I’m Here With You. And I Want To Know Where You Are, What You Need, And What You Want To Do.

And Even If She Says No, And Really Means Yes, Then Quite Frankly She's Playing Games And Isn't Worth The Price Of Dinner.

The Thing Is Some Girls Think They Can Actually Change Guys

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You Can't Just Sit There And Put Everyone's Lives Ahead Of Yours And Think That Counts As Love. You Just Can't. You Have To Do Things.

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It Was The Kind Of Kiss That Made Me Know That I Was Never So Happy In My Whole Life.

Perks Of A Wallflower

I Would Give Someone A Record So They Could Love The Record, Not So They Would Always Know That I Gave It To Them.

It's Okay To Feel Things. And Be Who You Are About Them.

My Sister Was The One Who Told Me Where Babies Come From. My Sister Was Also The One Who Laughed When I Immediately Asked Her Where Babies Go To.

Do You Always Think This Much? It's Just That Sometimes People Use Thought To Not Participate In Life.

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On That Piece Of White Paper, Sam Wrote, "write About Me Sometime." And I Typed Something Back To Her, Standing Right There In Her Bedroom. I Just Typed. "i Will.

Downtown. Lights On Buildings And Everything That Makes You Wonder. And In That Moment, I Swear We Were Infinite.

The Perfect Song On The Perfect Drive To Make You Feel Infinite.

I Don't Even Remember The Season. I Just Remember Walking Between Them And Feeling For The First Time That I Belonged Somewhere.

It's Great That You Can Listen And Be A Shoulder To Someone, But What About When Someone Doesn't Need A Shoulder? What If They Need The Arms Or Something Like That? You Can't Just Sit There And Put Everybody's Lives Ahead Of Yours And Think That Counts As Love. You Just Can't. You Have To Do Things.

It's Nice To Have Things To Look Forward To.

Regardless, I Decided To Never Take Lsd Again.

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Maybe It's Good To Put Things In Perspective, But Sometimes, I Think That The Only Perspective Is To Really Be There.

And We Could All Sit Around And Wonder And Feel Bad About Each Other And Blame A Lot Of People For What They Did Or Didn’t Do Or What They Didn’t Know. I Don’t Know. I Guess There Would Always Be Someone To Blame.

Enjoy It. Because It's Happening.

I Remembered This One Time That I Never Told Anybody About. The Time We Were Walking. Just The Three Of Us. I Was In The Middle. I Don't Remember Where We Were Walking To Or Where We Were Walking From. I Just Remember The Season. I Just Remember Walking Between Them And Feeling For The First Time That I Belonged Somewhere

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The Girl That Introduced The Smiths' Song 'asleep' To Me Was An Important Musical Influence That I Met In College. From There It's Been An Ongoing Journey Of Different Bands At Different Times, Introducing Bands And Songs To Me.

Everyone Else Is Either Asleep Or Having Sex. I’ve Been Watching Cable Television And Eating Jello.

I Just Listened To The Music, And Breathed In The Day, And Remembered Things. Things Like Walking Around The Neighborhood And Looking At The Houses And The Lawns And The Colorful Trees And Having That Be Enough.

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Welcome To The Island Of Misfit Toys.

Dear Friend, I Feel Great! I Really Mean It. I Have To Remember His For The Next Time I'm Having A Terrible Week. Have You Wer Done That? You Feel Really Bad, And Then It Goes Away, And You Don't Know Why. I Try To Remind Myself When I Feel Great Like This That There Will Be Another Terrible Week Coming Someday, So I Should Store Up As Many Great Details As I Can, So During The Next Terrible Week, I Can Remember Those Details And Believe That I'll Feel Great Again. It Doesn't Work A Lot, But I Think It's Very Important To Try.

When I Was Driving Home, I Just Thought About The Word 'special'. And I Thought The Last Person Who Said That About Me Was My Aunt Helen. I Was Very Grateful To Have Heard It Again. Because I Guess We All Forget Sometimes. And I Think Everyone Is Special In Their Own Way. I Really Do.

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It's Too Bad You're Not Gay. Then Again, If You Were Gay, I Would Never Date You. You're A Mess." You Know, Patrick? If I Were Gay, I'd Want To Date You." Of Course.

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When The Police Came, They Found My Brother Asleep On The Roof. Nobody Knows How He Got There.

All I Could Do Is Lie There And Think About How Much Her Voice Changed When She Asked Me If She Was Pretty, And How Much She Changed When I Answered.

I Was Suddenly Very Aware Of The Fact It Was Me Standing Up In That Tunnel With The Wind Over My Face. Not Caring If I Saw Downtown. Not Even Thinking About It. Because I Was Standing In The Tunnel. And I Was Really There. And That Was Enough To Make Me Feel Infinite.

I Sat Down And Tried To Write A Story. "ian Macarthur Is A Wonderful Sweet Fellow Who Wears Glasses And Peers Out Of Them With Delight." That Was The First Sentence. The Problem Was That I Just Couldn't Think Of The Next One. After Cleaning My Room Three Times, I Decided To Leave Ian Alone For A While Because I Was Starting To Get Mad At Him.

Sam Dropped Me Off. When She Was Too Far Away To See Me, I Started To Cry Again. Because She Was My Friend Again. And That Was Enough For Me.

Patrick Actually Used To Be Popular Before Sam Bought Him Some Good Music.

I Wish I Knew. It Might Make Me Miss Him More Clearly. It Might Have Made Sad Sense.

The Radio Comes Back Even Louder Than You Remember It.

And I Could See This Boy Doing His Homework And Thinking About My Sister Naked. And I Could See Them Holding Hands At Football Games That They Do Not Watch. And I Could See This Boy Throwing Up In The Bushes At A Party House. And I Could See My Sister Putting Up With It. And I Felt Very Bad For Both Of Them.

Some Kids Look At Me Strange In The Hallways Because I Don't Decorate My Locker.

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Sam Has Brown Hair And Very, Very Pretty Green Eyes. The Kind Of Green That Doesn't Make A Big Deal About Itself.

I Wasn't Raised Very Religiously Because My Parents Went To Catholic School, But I Do Believe In God Very Much. I Just Never Gave God A Name, If You Know What I Mean. I Hope I Haven't Let Him Down Regardless.

There Were Other Stories And Other Names. Second Base Stace, Who Had Breasts In Fourth Grade And Let Some Of The Boys Feel Them. Vincent, Who Took Acid And Tried To Flush A Sofa Down The Toilet. Sheila, Who Allegedly Masturbated With A Hot Dog And Had To Go To The Emergency Room. The List Went On And On.

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The Truth Is, When It Gets Really Quiet, When The Silence Gets Too Loud, I Really Start To Miss Everyone.

Standing On The Fringes Of Life... Offers A Unique Perspective. But There Comes A Time To See What It Looks Like From The Dance Floor.

That Was Always My Hope That That Is Exactly What I Would Do. It Was Always Part Of The Dream Of This Story - To Write The Novel And Then Direct The Movie.

Try To Be A Filter, Not A Sponge.

He’s My Whole World.” “don’t Ever Say That About Anyone Again. Not Even Me.

I Want To Be An Author/director And I'm Writing My Second Book Now And I Want To Make A Movie Of It, And I Hope I Get To Do This For The Rest Of My Life.

And Later That Night To Be With My Family At Dinnertime And Have Things Just Be Like They Always Were. That Was The Amazing Part. Things Just Keep Going. We Didn't Talk About Anything Heavy Or Light. We Were Just There Together. And That Was Enough.

I Really Do Love My Sister. Especially When She's Nice.

As People Get Older, We All Know, You Get Married And You Have A Child And That Becomes Your Family, But When You're 16 Years Old, Especially, Your Family Is Your Friends.

He Was The Boy That Made Mix Tapes With Themes And Hand-colored Covers Until The Day He Hit My Sister And Stopped Crying.

Why Do I And Everyone I Love Pick People Who Treat Us Like We're Nothing"; - "we Accept The Love We Think We Deserve.

Perks Of A Wallflower

It's Strange To Describe Reading A Book As A Really Great Experience, But That's Kind Of How It Felt.

The Inside Jokes Weren't Jokes Anymore. They Had Become Stories. Nobody Brought Up The Bad Names Or The Bad Times. And Nobody Felt Sad As Long As We Could Postpone Tomorrow With More Nostalgia.

There Was A Time When These Weren't Memories.

Writing A Novel Is A Lot Like Directing A Movie Because You Are Creating A World And A Tone, You Are Creating A Large Canvas And All The Details.

They Just Knew. And I Think That's All You Can Ever Ask From A Friend.

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Except That My Father Got A Raise, And My Mother Didn't Because She Doesn't Get Paid For Housework, And My Sister Stopped Reading Those Self-esteem Books Because She Met A New Boy

I Said No To Having A Beer. I Once Had A Beer With My Brother When I Was Twelve, And I Just Didn't Like It. It's Really That Simple For Me. [pp.37]

I'm Only Being Cute Here. I Don't Really Mean It. I Just Wanted To Make You Smile.

They Are All My Favourites. All Of Them.

Just Tell Me How To Be Different In A Way That Makes Sense.

After A Few Minutes, It Was Time For Me To Leave. I Don't Know Who Decides These Things. It Just Happens.

I Wonder What My Speech Would Be.

If You Are In A Movie Theater, You Can Look Two People Down And They Are Laughing While You Are Laughing Or You Can Look Three People Down And They Love That Song That You Love. It Is Living Proof That You Are Not Alone.

So, This Is My Life. And I Want You To Know That I Am Both Happy And Sad And I'm Still Trying To Figure Out How That Could Be.

I Couldn't Believe Sam Actually Got Me A Present Because I Honestly Thought The "i Love You" Was It.

Do You Know What 'masturbation' Is? I Think You Probably Do Because You Are Older Than Me. But Just In Case, I Will Tell You. Masturbation Is When You Rub Your Genitals Until You Have An Orgasm. Wow!

But My Dad Said It Was No Excuse. "but I Love Him!" I Had Never Seen My Sister Cry That Much. "no, You Don't." "i Hate You!" "no, You Don't." My Dad Can Be Very Calm Sometimes. "he's My Whole World." "don't Ever Say That About Anyone Again. Not Even Me." That Was My Mom.

I Don't Know If It's Better To Be Close With Your Daughter Or Make Sure That She Has A Better Life Than You Do.

Sometimes People Use Thought To Not Participate In Life.

It's Strange Because Sometimes, I Read A Book, And I Think I Am The People In The Book.

When We Were All Getting Ready To Leave, I Walked Up To My Grandfather And Gave Him A Hug And Kiss On The Cheek. He Wiped My Lip Print Off With His Palm And Gave Me A Look. He Doesn't Like The Boys In The Family To Touch Him. But I'm Very Glad That I Did It Anyway In Case He Dies. I Never Got To Do That With My Aunt Helen.

There Are Rules You Follow Here Not Because You Want To, But Because You Have To.

I'm Just Thinking Too Fast-- Much Too Fast.

I Spent All Night Working On It, And I Hope Patrick Likes It As Much As I Do. Especially The Second Side. I Hope It's The Kind Of Second Side That He Can Listen To Whenever He Drives Alone And Feel Like He Belongs To Something Whenever He's Sad. I Hope It Can Be That For Him.

Music Is A Vital Part Of My Life, And It Has Been Since I Was A Kid. It Helped Me Find My Identity As A Person, It Helped Me Find My Identity As An Artist, And It Helped Me Get In Touch With Emotions That I Didn't Know I Had.

I Have Decided That Maybe I Want To Write When I Grow Up. I Just Don't Know What I Would Write.

I Think The Idea Is That Every Person Has To Live For His Or Her Own Life And Then Make The Choice To Share It With Other People. Maybe That Is What Makes People "participate.

As Much As I Feel Sad, I Think That Not Knowing Is What Really Bothers Me.

And For The First Time In My Life I Understand The End Of That Poem. And I Never Wanted To. You Have To Believe Me.

And When She Started Becoming A “young Lady,” And No One Was Allowed To Look At Her Because She Thought She Was Fat. And How She Really Wasn’t Fat. And How She Was Actually Very Pretty. And How Different Her Face Looked When She Realized Boys Thought She Was Pretty. And How Different Her Face Looked The First Time She Really Liked A Boy Who Was Not On A Poster On Her Wall. And How Her Face Looked When She Realized She Was In Love With That Boy. I Wondered How Her Face Would Look When She Came Out From Behind Those Doors.

This Moment Will Just Be Another Story Someday.

Deep Down...she's A Good Woman...you Should Be Proud Of Her." When I Told My Mom About This, She Just Looked Very Sad Because He Could Never Say Those Things To Her. Not Ever. Not Even When He Walked Her Down The Aisle.

So, I Guess We Are Who We Are For Alot Of Reasons. And Maybe We'll Never Know Most Of Them. But Even If We Don't Have The Power To Choose Where We Come From, We Can Still Choose Where We Go From There. We Can Still Do Things. And We Can Try To Feel Okay About Them.

I Don’t Know If You’ve Ever Felt Like That. That You Wanted To Sleep For A Thousand Years. Or Just Not Exist. Or Just Not Be Aware That You Do Exist. Or Something Like That. I Think Wanting That Is Very Morbid, But I Want It When I Get Like This. That’s Why I’m Trying Not To Think. I Just Want It All To Stop Spinning.

The Fact That One Of These Ladies Was My Mom Made Me Particularly Sad Because My Mom Is Beautiful. And She’s Always On A Diet. Sometimes, My Dad Calls Her Beautiful, But She Cannot Hear Him.

Five Minutes Of A Lifetime Were Truly Spent, And We Felt Young In A Good Way.

I Love Twinkies, And The Reason I Am Saying That Is Because We Are All Supposed To Think Of Reasons To Live.

On Friday Night, I Was Reading My New Book, But My Brain Got Tired, So I Decided To Watch Some Television Instead.

So I Started Shoveling Bob's Driveway, Which Is A Strange Thing To Do At A New Years Eve Party

To Kill A Mockingbird. If You Haven't Read It, I Think You Should Because It Is Very Interesting.

The Inside Jokes Weren't Jokes Anymore. They Had Become Stories

It's Just Hard To See A Friend Hurt This Much. Especially When You Can't Do Anything Except 'be There.' I Just Want To Make Him Stop Hurting, But I Can't. So I Just Follow Him Around Whenever He Wants To Show Me His World.

If The Right Thing Came Along, I Would Absolutely Direct Something I Did Not Write Because I Love The Process So Much, But We'll See. I'm Taking It Day By Day.

The Sound Of The Radio Fades To Nothing Because The Waves Just Can't Reach

I Look At People Holdings Hands In The Hallways, And I Try To Think How It All Works. At The School Dances, I Sit In The Background, And I Tap My Toe, And I Wonder How Many Couples Will Dance To ‘their Song.’ In The Hallways, I See The Girls Wearing The Guys’ Jackets, And I Think About The Idea Of Property. And I Wonder If Anyone Is Really Happy.

I've Never Understood The Need People Have To Dictate Morality To Other People. I Really Don't Know What It Is. I Don't Know If It's Fear Or The Belief That They Know The Only Right Way. Or Maybe They See A Lot Of Social Ills And Social Decline, And They Really Think They Have The Elixir For It.

I Am Really In Love With Sam, And It Hurts Very Much.

Even If We Don't Have The Power To Choose Where We Come From, We Can Still Choose Where We Go From There.

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I Look At The Field, And I Think About The Boy Who Just Made The Touchdown. I Think That These Are The Glory Days For That Boy, And This Moment Will Just Be Another Story Someday Because All The People Who Make Touchdowns And Home Runs Will Become Somebody's Dad. And When His Children Look At His Yearbook Photograph, They Will Think That Their Dad Was Rugged And Handsome And Looked A Lot Happier Than They Are. I Just Hope I Remember To Tell My Kids That They Are As Happy As I Look In My Old Photographs. And I Hope That They Believe Me.

I'm Going To Be Who I Really Am. I'm Going To Figure Out What This Is.

In The Last Month Or So, I Have Read The Great Gatsby And A Separate Peace. I Am Starting To See A Real Trend In The Kind Of Books Bill Gives Me To Read. And Just Like The Tape Of Songs, It Is Amazing To Hold Each Of Them In The Palm Of My Hand. They Are All My Favorites. All Of Them.

My Dad Said I Did The Right Thing. I Hope I Did, But It's Hard To Tell Sometimes.

But Mary Elizabeth Felt Different. She Kept Saying It Was An "articulate" Film. So "articulate." And I Guess It Was. The Thing Is, I Didn't Know What It Said Even If It Said It Very Well.

Susan Was Very Fun To Be Around. She Liked Movies, And Her Brother Frank Made Her Tapes Of This Great Music That She Shared With Us. But Over The Summer She Had Her Braces Taken Off, And She Got A Little Taller And Prettier And Grew Breasts. Now, She Acts A Lot Dumber In The Hallways, Especially When Boys Are Around. And I Think It's Sad Because Susan Doesn't Look As Happy.

When You Publish A Book, You Do So In Part To End The Silence. All Censorship Is Silence. I Would Never, As An Author, Feel Right Requiring A Young Person Whose Family Would Object To The Book To Read It. Just As I Would Never Force That Person To Read It, I Would Ask Those Folks To Not Force Others Not To Read It. To Me, That Is Just Good Manners.

And Even If Somebody Else Has It Much Worse, That Doesn't Really Change The Fact That You Have What You Have. Good And Bad.

Perks Of A Wallflower

The Gift From My Secret Santa Wasn't Anything Special. That Makes Me Sad. I Bet You Anything That Mary Elizabeth Is My Secret Santa Because Only She Would Give Me Socks.

Banning Books Gives Us Silence When We Need Speech. It Closes Our Ears When We Need To Listen. It Makes Us Blind When We Need Sight.

And I Thought About How Many People Have Loved Those Songs. And How Many People Got Through A Lot Of Bad Times Because Of Those Songs. And How Many People Enjoyed Good Times With Those Songs. And How Much Those Songs Really Mean. I Think It Would Be Great To Have Written One Of Those Songs. I Bet If I Wrote One Of Them, I Would Be Very Proud. I Hope The People Who Wrote Those Songs Are Happy. I Hope They Feel It's Enough. I Really Do Because They've Made Me Happy. And I'm Only One Person.

Asleep By The Smiths Vapour Trail By Ride Scarborough Fair By Simon & Garfunkel A Whiter Shade Of Pale By Procol Harum Dear Prudence By The Beatles Gypsy By Suzanne Vega Nights In White Satin By The Moody Blues Daydream By Smashing Pumpkins Dusk By Genesis (before Phil Collins Was Even In The Band!) Mlk By U2 Blackbird By The Beatles Landslide By Fleetwood Mac Asleep By The Smiths (again!) -charlie's Mixtape

You Know . . . A Lot Of Kids At School Hate Their Parents. Some Of Them Got Hit. And Some Of Them Got Caught In The Middle Of Wrong Lives. Some Of Them Were Trophies For Their Parents To Show The Neighbors Like Ribbons Or Gold Stars. And Some Of Them Just Wanted To Drink In Peace.

So, Tomorrow, I’m Leaving. And I’m Not Going To Let That Happen Again With Anyone Else. I’m Going To Do What I Want To Do. I’m Going To Be Who I Really Am. And I’m Going To Figure Out What That Is.

It's Kind Of Like When You Look At Yourself In The Mirror And You Say Your Name. And It Gets To A Point Where None Of It Seems Real. Well, Sometimes I Can Do That, But I Don't Need An Hour In Front Of A Mirror. It Just Happens Very Fast, And Things Start To Slip Away. And I Just Open My Eyes, And I See Nothing. And Then I Start To Breathe Really Hard Trying To See Something, But I Can't. It Doesn't Happen All The Time, But When It Does, It Scares Me.

And How Different Her Face Looked The First Time She Really Liked A Boy Who Was Not On A Poster On Her Wall. And How Her Face Looked When She Realized She Was In Love With That Boy.

It's Just That I Don't Want To Be Somebody's Crush. If Somebody Likes Me, I Want Them To Like The Real Me, Not What They Think I Am. And I Don't Want Them To Carry It Around Inside. I Want Them To Show Me, So I Can Feel It Too.

And I Closed My Eyes Because I Wanted To Know Nothing But Her Arms.

Harold And Maude' Was A Seminal Movie For Me Because It's Not Only A Beautiful Love Story, But It's Also About The Moment When Misfits Find Each Other.

I Think On My Next Birthday, I'm Going To Buy Her A Present. I Think That Should Be The Tradition. The Kid Gets Gifts From Everybody, And He Buys One Present For His Mom Since She Was There, Too. I Think That Would Be Nice.

I Don't Know What I'm Supposed To Do Now. I Know Other People Have It A Lot Worse. I Do Know That, But It's Crashing In Anyway, And I Just Can't Stop Thinking That The Little Kid Eating French Fries With His Mom In The Shopping Mall Is Going To Grow Up And My Sister.

But In That Moment When My Brother Took The Field, All That Washed Away, And Everyone Was Proud... I Looked Up At My Dad, And He Was Smiling. I Looked At My Mom, And She Was Smiling Even Though She Was Nervous About My Brother Getting Hurt, Which Was Strange Because It Was A Vcr Tape Of An Old Game, And She Knew He Didn't Get Hurt.

You Should Tell Her How Nice Her Outfit Is Because Her Outfit Is Her Choice Whereas Her Face Isn't.

I Just Don't Want You To Worry About Me, Or Think You've Met Me, Or Waste Your Time Anymore.

Then, I Turned Around And Walked To My Room And Closed My Door And Put My Head Under My Pillow And Let The Quiet Put Things Where They Are Supposed To Be.

And All The Books You've Read Have Been Read By Other People. And All The Songs You've Loved Have Been Heard By Other People. And That Girl That's Pretty To You Is Pretty To Other People. And That If You Looked At These Facts When You Were Happy, You Would Feel Great Because You Are Describing 'unity.

Sometimes, I Think Bill Forgets That I Am Sixteen. But I Am Very Happy That He Does.

I Was In My Bed Trying To Figure Out Why Sometimes You Can Wake Up And Go Back To Sleep And Other Times You Can't

If The Advice Is Simply To Respect Yourself And Follow The Path That You Want To Follow, That Would Be The Best Advice I Could Ever Pass On.

I Was In The Shopping Mall Because That's Where I Go Lately. For The Last Couple Of Weeks, I've Been Going There Every Day, Trying To Figure Out Why People Go There. It's Kind Of A Personal Project.

It's Kind Of Like When You Look At Yourself In The Mirror And You Say Your Name. And It Gets To A Point Where None Of It Seems Real.

Nobody Felt Sad As Long As We Could Postpone Tomorrow With More Nostalgia.

He's A Wallflower. You See Things. You Keep Quiet About Them. And You Understand.

Perks Of A Wallflower

She Said That By Introducing Me To All These Great Things, Mary Elizabeth Gained A “superior Position” That She Wouldn’t Need If She Was Confident About Herself. She Also Said That People Who Try To Control Situations All The Time Are Afraid That If They Don’t, Nothing Will Work Out The Way They Want.

Girls Are Weird, And I Don't Mean That Offensively. I Just Can't Put It Any Other Way.

I Just Need To Know That Someone Out There Listens And Understands And Doesn't Try To Sleep With Someone Even If They Could Have. I Need To Know These People Exist.

I Walked Over To The Hill Where We Used To Go And Sled. There Were A Lot Of Little Kids There. I Watched Them Flying. Doing Jumps And Having Races. And I Thought That All Those Little Kids Are Going To Grow Up Someday. And All Of Those Little Kids Are Going To Do The Things That We Do. And They Will All Kiss Someone Someday. But For Now, Sledding Is Enough. I Think It Would Be Great If Sledding Were Always Enough, But It Isn't.

There Are Other People Who Have It A Lot Worse

Have You Ever Done That? You Feel Really Bad, And Then It Goes Away, And You Don’t Know Why.

Charlie, You’re One Of The Most Gifted People I’ve Ever Known. And I Don’t Mean In Terms Of My Other Students. I Mean In Terms Of Anyone I’ve Ever Met.

I Think They Were Afraid That Some Of Us Would Try To Kill Ourselves Or Something Because They Looked Very Tense And One Of Them Kept Touching His Beard.

I Know That Things Get Worse Before They Get Better Because That’s What My Psychiatrist Says, But This Is A Worse That Feels Too Big.

So What's The Point Of Using Words Nobody Else Knows Or Can Say Comfortably? I Just Don't Understand That.

I Don't Know How Much Longer I Can Keep Going Without A Friend. I Used To Be Able To Do It Very Easily, But That Was Before I Knew What Having A Friend Was Like.

There Is This One Photograph... That Is Just Beautiful. It Would Be Impossible To Describe How Beautiful It Is, But I’ll Try. If You Listen To The Song “asleep,” And You Think About Those Pretty Weather Days That Make You Remember Things, And You Think About The Prettiest Eyes You’ve Known, And You Cry And The Person Holds You Back, Then I Think You Will See The Photograph.

As We All Know, When You're An Athlete Things Are A Little Bit Easier For You. It Didn't Mean That What Was Going On Inside My Heart Wasn't A Bit Of A Thunderstorm, But Outwardly I Got Along Ok. I Was Really Shy In Seventh Grade.

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