Background Image

...

I Really Just Love To Read, Period, Whether It Be Books Or Magazines Or The Back Of The Cereal Box. It's The One Thing I Can Always Count On To Calm Me Down, Take Me Away And Inspire Me, All At Once.

-Sarah Dessen

...

Please Wait....
Translating....

I Really Just Love

Sarah Dessen

...

I Really Just Love To Read, Period, Whether It Be Books Or Magazines Or The Back Of The Cereal Box. It's The One Thing I Can Always Count On To Calm Me Down, Take Me Away And Inspire Me, All At Once.

Views: 10

Topic

More From Sarah Dessen

I Just Can't Ever Be A Free Spirit And Just Relax. When It Comes To Work, This Is Good. I'm Very Disciplined, Which With Writing Is Often Half The Battle, Or More. But It Also Means That If I Want To, Say, Play Hooky And Chocolate And Watch Bravo All Afternoon, I Feel Horribly Guilty. I Wish I Could Find A Nice Balance.

It's Harder That In Looks," I Told Him When I Finally Got Back In The Car. "most Things Are.

It Was Like When You Ripped A Piece Of Paper Into Two: No Matter How You Tried, The Seams Never Fit Exactly Right Again.

Mayonnaise Is A Lot Like Men, It Can Make Everything Much Better, Adding Flavor And Ease To Your Life. Or, It Can Just Be Sticky And Gross And Make You Nauseous"- "keeping The Moon

But When You're Alone In The World, Really Alone, You Have No Choice But To Be Open To Suggestions.

I'm Incredibly Flattered When People Tell Me That My Books Helped Them Through High School. Because Of My Own Experience, The Thought That Something I Wrote Might Help Someone Who Felt The Way I Did When I Was A Teen...that's Huge. It Awes Me.

It Was Like When You're A Little Kid And You Run Into Your Teacher Or Librarian At The Grocery Store Or Wal-mart And It's Just So Startling, Because It Never Occurred To You They Existed Outside Of School.

She Was Just A Shell Of Her Former Self, Functioning And Talking But Hardly Alive.

During This Time We've Been Apart, It's You I've Thought Of When I'm At My Weakest, And You Who Have Pulled Me Through.

Obviously It Won't All Run Smoothly. But It's Important To Awknowledge That While We May Make Mistakes, In The Long Run, We May Also Learn Fromt Them.

She Took The Sun When It Came And The Rain The Same Way.

It Shouldn't Be Easy To Be Amazing. Then Everything Would Be. It's The Things You Fight For And Struggle With Before Earning That Have The Greatest Worth. When Something's Difficult To Come By, You'll Do That Much More To Make Sure It's Even Harder ― Or Impossible ― To Lose.

It's Just That...i Just Think That Some Things Are Meant To Be Broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It's The Universe's Way Of Providing Contrast, You Know? There Have To Be A Few Holes In The Road. It's How Life Is.

I Was Beginning To See, Though, That The Unknown Wasn't Always The Greatest Thing To Fear. The People Who Know You Best Can Be Risker, Because The Words They Say And Things They Think Have The Potential To Be Not Only Scary But True, As Well.

You Own A Tic Tac. Gum Is Just Borrowed. - Esther

Like A Blinking Cursor On An Empty Page, It Was Just The First Thing. The Beginning Of The Beginning. But At Least It Was Done.

He Shook His Head. "some People Think That They Like Music, But They Have No Idea What It's Really About. They're Kindding Themselves. Then There Are People Who Feel Strongly About Music, But Just Aren't Listening To The Right Stuff. They're Misguided. And Then There Are People Like Me." "people Like You," I Said. "what Kind Of People Are Those?" "the Kind Who Live For Music And Are Constantly Seeking It Out, Anywhere They Can. Who Can't Imagine A Life Without It. They're Enlightened."

Forgiveness Is Hard. Acceptance Is Doable.

I Think Part Of The Problem Sometimes Is That There's So Much Happening In My Books, To Whittle It Down Into A Single Script Is Hard.

This Is The Problem With Dealing With Someone Who Is Actually A Good Listener. They Don’t Jump In On Your Sentences, Saving You From Actually Finishing Them, Or Talk Over You, Allowing What You Do Manage To Get Out To Be Lost Or Altered In Transit. Instead, They Wait, So You Have To Keep Going.

It's Okay To Accept Things From People. It Doesn't Make You Weak Or Helpless.

That Sucks, Though," Wes Said Finally, His Voice Low. "you're Just Setting Yourself Up To Fail, Because You'll Never Get Everything Perfect." "says Who?" He Just Looked At Me. "the World," He Said, Gesturing All Around Us, As If This Party, This Deck Encompassed It All. "the Universe. There's Just No Way. And Why Would You Want Everything To Be Perfect, Anyway?" "i Don't Want Everything To Be Perfect," I Said. Just Me, I Thought. Somehow. "i Just Want—

No Relationship Is Perfect, Ever. There Are Always Some Ways You Have To Bend, To Compromise, To Give Something Up In Order To Gain Something Greater.

You Get What You Give, But Also What You're Willing To Take.

This Was How I Was Dealing With Everyone And Everything Lately, Taking The Good When It Came, And The Bad The Same Way, Knowing Each Would Pass In Its Own Time.

For Once, You Believed In Yourself. You Believed You Were Beautiful And So Did The Rest Of The World.

Her Life Was Perfect. But As Was Often The Case, The Rest Of Us Were Still Adjusting.

Your Actions Is Like A Raindrop; It Falls Into The Pond Making Ripples And Then Its Over.

I've Always Written In First Person. It Gives The Readers More Insight.

Are You Crazy? Flirting With Eli Stock In Front Of Belissa Norwood, In Belissa Norwood’s House, While Eating Belissa Norwood’s Cupcakes?

But I Think, Personally, That It Would Be Worse To Have Been Alone All That Time. Sure, Maybe I Would Have Protected My Heart From Some Things, But Would That Really Have Been Better? To Hold Myself Apart Because I Was Too Scared That Something Might No Be Forever?

When You've Never Gotten Love From Someone, You Don't Know What It Might Look Like If It Ever Does Appear. You Look For It In Everything: Any Bright Light Overhead Could Be A Star.

Who Says There Has To Be A Point?" He Asked. "or A Reason. Maybe It's Just Something You Have To Do.

I Drove Off, With My Friends Watching Me Go, All Of Them Grouped On Lissa's Hood. As I Pulled Onto The Road, I Glanced Into The Rearview And Saw Them: They Were Waving, Hands Moving Through The Air, Their Voices Loud, Calling Out After Me. The Square Of That Mirror Was Like A Frame, Holding This Picture Of Them Saying Good-bye, Pushing Me Forward, Before Shifting Gently Out Of Sight, Inch By Fluid Inch, As I Turned Away.

Maybe, You Just Misplaced It, You Know? It's Been There. But You Just Haven't Been Looking In The Right Spot. Because Lost Means Forever, It's Gone. But Misplaced... That Means It's Still Around, Somewhere. Just Not Where You Thought.

But That Was The Problem With Having The Answers. It Was Only After You Gave Them That You Realized They Sometimes Weren't What People Wanted To Hear.

D.c., Baltimore, Philadelphia, Austin... And You. I'll Be There Soon.

It's The Same Thing,' I Told Her. 'what Is?' 'being Afraid And Being Alive.' 'no,' She Said Slowly, And Now It Was As If She Was Speaking A Language She Knew At First I Wouldn't Understand, The Very Words, Not To Mention The Concept, Being Foreign To Me. 'macy, No. It's Not.

You Should Have Seen Your Face," She Said, Her Breath Hot In My Ear. "sa-woooon.

Sitting There With Them, It Was Almost Hard To Remember When I First Came To Perkins, So Determined To Remember To Be A One-woman Operation To The End. But That Was The Thing About Taking Help And Giving It, Or So I Was Learning; There Was No Such Thing As Really Getting Even. Instead, This Connection, Once Opened, Remained Ongoing Over Time.

I Am The Middle Sister. The One In Between. Not Oldest, Not Youngest, Not Boldest, Not Nicest. I Am The Shade Of Gray, The Glass Half Empty Or Full, Depending On Your View. In My Life, There Has Been Little That I Have Done First Or Better Than The One Preceding Or Following Me. Of All Of Us, Though, I Am The Only One Who Has Been Broken.

What Did It Feel Like, I Wondered, To Love Someone That Much? So Much That You Couldn't Even Control Yourself When They Came Close, As If You Might Just Break Free Of Whatever Was Holding You And Throw Yourself At Them With Enough Force To Easily Overwhelm You Both.

I Felt Like I'd Been Swimming So Hard, And The Water Growing Warmer And Warmer The Closer I Got To The Top. I Wasn't There Yet, But Now I Could See The Surface, Rippling Just Beyond My Fingers.

But It Was Okay Not To Fit In Everywhere, As Long As You Did Somewhere.

An Ending Was An Ending. No Matter How Many Pages Of Sentences And Paragraphs Of Great Stories Led Up To It, It Would Always Have The Last Word.

Love Is Needing Someone. Love Is Putting Up With Someone's Bad Qualities Because They Somehow Complete You.

Everything Looks Different When You're Older, Not Staring Up At The World But Down Upon It.

Because This Is What Happens When You Try To Run From The Past. It Just Doesn’t Catch Up, It Overtakes … Blotting Out The Future.

It All Depends On How You Choose To Live It. It's Like Forever, Always Changing.

She Said Writting Novels Was Like Childbirth: If You Truly Remembered How Awful It Got, You'd Never Do It Again.

But It's Strange, When You've Always Been Told Something Is True, Like The Moon Will Come Back. You Need Proof. And While You Wait, You Feel The Entire Balance Of Your World Just Tipping. It's Crazy. But When It's Over, And It Does Come Back, That's The Best, Because It's All You Want, Everything Narrows To Just That. It's This Great Rush, Like For That One Second Everything's Okay With The World Again. It's Amazing.

The Mistakes You Make Now Count. Not For Everything, And Not Forever. But They Do Matter, And They Shape You.

What Happened To Goodbye?

Missing Someone

Welcome To Adulthood," She Said. "it Sucks As Much As High School.

It's Never Long Distance Between Friends.

Wherever You Will Go, I Will Let You Down, But This Lullaby Goes On.

I Had No Illusions About Love Anymore. It Came, It Went, It Left Casualties Or It Didn't. People Weren't Meant To Be Together Forever, Regardless Of What The Songs Say.

Donneven, Bettaquit And Mmmhmmmm

She Bought Seeds And Raided Nurseries And Mulched And Composted And Spent Full Days With Her Hands Full Of Earth, Coaxing Life Our Of The Dry, Dull Grass My Father Had Spent Years Pushing A Mower Over.

The Basic Fact Is That No, This Isn't Ideal. Very Few Things Are. Sometimes, You Have To Manufacture Your Own History. Give Fate A Push,so To Speak.

Even If You Couldn't See It Beneath The Surface, Molecules Were Bonding, Energy Pushing Up Slowly, As Something Worked Do Hare, All Alone To Grow.

It Seemed Like This Day Could Go In So Many Directions, Like A Spiderweb Shooting Out Toward Endless Possibilities.

Endless Possibilities

I Have To Admit, An Unrequited Love Is So Much Better Than A Real One. I Mean, It's Perfect... As Long As Something Is Never Even Started, You Never Have To Worry About It Ending. It Has Endless Potential.

Unrequited Love

I Walked Over, My Eyes Scanning Luna Blu, My House, And Dave's. But It Was The Building Behind Them, That Empty Hotel, That Had The Tiniest Light, Provided By One Word, Written In Fluorescent Paint. Maybe It Wasn't What Was Once There, In Real Life. But In This One, It Said It All: Stay.

You Couldn't Just Pick And Choose At Will When Someone Depended On You, Or Loved You. It Wasn't Like A Light Switch, Easy To Turn On Or Off. If You Were In, You Were In. Out, You Were Out.

I Think When You're A Beginning Author With Any Publishing Company, There's Only So Much They Can Put Behind You.

All I'd Wanted For So Long Was For Someone To Explain Everything That Had Happened To Me In This Same Way. To Label It Neatly On A Page: This Leads To This Leads To This.

With Total Strangers, It Had Always Been My Policy To Expect The Worst. Usually They-and Those That You Knew Best, For That Matter-did Not Disappoint.

You Know, Feeling And Action Are Always Linked, One Can't Exist Without The Other. It's Sort Of A Hippie Thing.

I'd Known Enough People For Every Minute Of The Day, And Yet Still Didn't Have Anyone As My Two A.m.

I Listened For The Voice I Knew So Well, The One I Always Heard At The Beginning. Good Girl, Macy! You're Doing Great! You Know The First Steps Are The Hardest Part! They Were. Sometimes I Felt So Out Of Sync, It Was All Could Do Not To Quit After A Few Strides. But I Kept On, As I Did Now. I Had To, To Get To The Next Part, This Part, Where I Finally Caught Up With Wes, My Shadow Aligning Itself With His, An Dhe Turned To Look At Me, Pushing His Hair Our Of His Eyes.

Usually When I Finish The Draft Of A Book, I'm Sure I'll Never Write Another One. I'm Just That Tired And Sick Of Myself. But Then Another Idea Starts Percolating. It Usually Begins With The Narrator's Name, Then Some Idea That Intrigues Me About Her Life Or Situation. I Try To Ignore It As Long As I Can, Because I Know When I Start Writing, I'll Be Right Back Into It, Every Single Day. But Eventually, I Just Have To. It's A Compulsion!

Editing Is Hard But Nowhere Near As Tough As Facing That Blank Page And Blinking Cursor Each Day. You're All Alone And No One Else Can Do It. At Least With Editing You Have Someone In The Trench With You.

Its Been A Long Night" "aren't They All?

Its 75 Degrees! In December!

I Mean, It's Not Surprising, Really. Once You Love Something, You Always Love It In Some Way. You Have To. It's, Like, Part Of You For Good.

No," I Snapped. "i Mean, No. I'm Answering. I'm Just Collecting My Response." Another Few Seconds Passed. Is There A Time Limit For This?" He Asked. I Shot Him A Look. "just Wondering.

All The Bitchy Girls In The World Are Just A Training Ground For What Men Can Do To You.

This Thought Was Interrupted, Suddenly, By A Crash From The Front Entrance. We All Looked Over Just In Time To See Adam Bending Back From The Glass, Rubbing His Arm. "pull Open," Maggie Called Out. As Leah Rolled Her Eyes, She Said, "he Never Remembers. It's So Weird.

I Wondered Which Was Harder, In The End. The Act Of Telling, Or Who You Told It To. Or Maybe If, When You Finally Got It Out, The Story Was Really All That Mattered.

When You Had To Do Something, You Had To Do It. And Eventually, If You Were Lucky, You Did It Well.

It's A Choice, Annabel. And If You Make The Wrong One, You Have Only Yourself To Blame When There Are Consequences.

None Of It Meant Anything, And All Of It Was Important.

You Bought Me Some Forks. And Knives. And Spoons. Because You Love Me!

We Can All Be Beautiful Girls.

This Was Our Common Ground, The Secret We Shared But Never Spoke Aloud. I Should Have Been With Him; She Should Have Left Him Alone. Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda. It's So Easy In The Past Tense.

...you Can't Unlearn Something, Even If You Want To. You Know What You Know.

But Those Words Were Only The Middle Of The Story. There Was A Beginning Here, Too.

Times Like This It Did Seem Real I Was Leaving, And Even More That My Family, And This Life, Would Go On Without Me. And Again I Felt That Emptiness Rise Up, But Pushed It Away. Still, I Lingered There, In The Doorway, Memorizing The Noise. The Moment. Tucking It Away Out Of Sight, To Be Remembered When I Needed It Most.

You Just Walk Over There And Into The Office And Say, 'hey, Be My Prom Date,'" He Said. "it's That Simple.

I Didn't Want To Leave Things The Way We Had, Unresolved, ... And Tried To Tell Myself He Cared About Me Enough Not To Look Elsewhere For What I Wasn't Giving Him.

When I Was A Teen, I Was Never Really Into The Captain Of The Football Team Or The Student Body President. The Guys I Liked Were Quirky And Different: They Listened To Music I'd Never Heard Of, Never Had Lunch Or Gas Money, And Could Always Make You Laugh.

You Didn't Have To Take A Punch For Me, You Know,' He Said. 'i'm A Lover, Not A Fighter.' 'you're A Freak Is What You Are,' I Said. He Stuck Out His Hand. 'come On, Slugger. Walk With Me. You Know You Want To.' And The Thing Was, Despite Everything I Knew-that It Was A Mistake, That He Was Different From The Others-i Did. How He Knew That, I Had No Idea. But I Got Up And Did It Anyway.

Apologies Come In All Shapes And Sizes. You Can Give Diamonds, Candy, Flowers, Or Just Your Deepest Heartfelt Sentiment.

That Was The Nice Thing About The Spot: You Could Hear Everything, But No One Could See You.

It Is Kind Of Hard To Hold A Lot In. But For Me… It’s Sometimes Even Harder To Let It Out.

It Hadn't Even Occured To Me That Somebody Would Believe Mine.

Was It Really This Easy, Once You Escaped, To Just Not Care?

You, Have This Whole Tall, Dark Stranger Thing Going On. Not To Mention The Tortured Artist Bit. And You, Have That Whole Blonde Cool And Collected Perfect Smart Thing Going On. You're The Boy All The Girls Want To Rebel With. You, Are The Unattainable Girl In Homeroom Who Never Gives A Guy The Time Of Day.

Sometimes Really, Really Bad Things Happen To People, And There Is No Explanation And No Reason Whatsoever.

After The Group Vet Appointment--during Which Lyle Scratched The Vet, The Vet Tech, And Some Poor Woman Minding Her Own Business In The Waiting Room--we Went Back To Sabrina's And Re-released The Cats To Their Natural Habitat.

So It Just Wasn't In My House. Anywhere, I Looked Like I Knew About The Toilet.

You Can't Just Plan A Moment When Things Get Back On Track, Just As You Can't Plan The Moment You Lose Your Way In The First Place. But Standing There Alone On The Landing, I Thought Of Grandma Halley And How She'd Held Me Close Against Her Lap As We Watched The Sky Together. I'd Always Thought I Couldn't Remember, But Suddenly In That Moment, I Closed My Eyes And Saw The Comet, Finally, Brilliant And Impossible, Stretching Above Me Across The Sky.

I Love Ya, And It's Been A Really Good Fit For Me. But At Some Point, I Would Like To Try Something Else: A Collection Of Short Stories, Or Writing About Something Other Than High School. A Lot Has Happened To Me Since I Was Eighteen.

No One Could Tell You: You Just Had To Go Through It On Your Own. If You Were Lucky, You Came Out On The Other Side And Understood. If You Didn't, You Kept Getting Thrust Back, Retracing Those Steps, Until You Finally Got It Right.

This Is Personal, She'd Said. Real. This Moment Was Too, Even If You Couldn't See It At First Glance. It Was Fake On The Outside, But So True Within. You Only Had To Look, Really Look To Tell.

Love Is So Unpredictable. Sometimes You'll Know A Man For Years And Then One Day, Boom! Suddenly You See Him In A Different Way. And Other Times, It's That First Date, That First Moment. That's What Makes It So Great.

Because' I Repeated, As A Breeze Blew Over Us, "sometimes Things Just Happen. That Aren't Expected. Or On The List." "such As?" He Asked "i Don't Know," I Said, Frustrated. "that's The Point. It Would Be Out Of The Blue, Taking Us By Surprise. Something We Might Not Be Prepared For." "but We Will Be Prepared," He Said, Confused. "we'll Have The List.

Sometimes A Question Can Hurt More Than An Answer.

You Just Had To Know Where To Look.

I Paused, Only Just Now Realizing That The Subject Was Hitting A Little Close To Home. "you Know, Getting Hurt. Putting Herself Out There, Opening Up To Someone." Yeah," He Said Adding Some Cheese Straws To The Cart, "but Risk Is Just Part Of Relationships. Sometimes They Work, Sometimes They Don't." I Picked Up A Box Of Cheese Straws, Examining It. "yeah," I Said. "but It's Not All About Chance, Either.

All Of My Stories, They Don't Come From My High School Experience, But They're Definitely Based On Things That Happened To Me In High School, Or Things That Happened To Friends Of Mine, Or Things That I Wish Had Happened To Me.

I Jammed My Hand In My Jacket Pocket, Bracing Myself Fo The Next Hit, And Fel Something. Something Grainy And Samll, Sticking To The Tips Of My Fingers: The Sand From Commons Park. Oh Cass, I Thought. I Miss You So, So Much.

Two A.m.' He Swallowed, Then Said, "you Know. The Person You Can Call At Two A.m. And, No Matter What, You Can Count On Them. Even If They're Asleep Or It's Cold Or You Need To Be Bailed Out Of Jail...they'll Come For You. It's Like, The Highest Level Of Friendship.

So I Left Him There Alone To Watch History Repeat The Same Events Retold Again And Again On His Own.

Repeating History

I Just Do The Best I Can Under The Circumstances.

I Should Have Told You From The Start. I Will Let You Down.

I Never Really Know What I'm Going To Write Next Until It Comes To Me. So We'll Just Have To See What Happens.

If This Was My Forever, I Wouldn't Want To Spend It Here.

Maybe You Could Go Backwards And Forwards At The Same Time, But It Wasn't Easy. You Had To Want To.

It Was Like Those Songs I'd Heard As A Child, Each So Familiar, And All Mine. When I Got Older And Realized The Words Were Sad, The Stories Tragic, It Didn't Make Me Love Them Any Less. By Then They Were Already Part Of Me, Woven Into My Conciousness & Memory

Music Is A Total Constant. That's Why We Have Such A Strong Visceral Connection To It, You Know? Because A Song Can Take You Back Instantly To A Moment, Or A Place, Or Even A Person. No Matter What Else Has Changed In Your Or The World, That One Song Says The Same, Just Like That Moment.

I'm Always Hopeful. I Feel Like I'm At The Prom Sitting Against The Wall Waiting For Someone To Ask Me To Dance.

Why Don't You Ever Wait A Second And See What I'm Planning, Or Thinking, Before You Burst In With Your Opinions And Ideas? You Never Even Give Me A Chance.

Like It Takes So Little Not Only To Change Something, But To Make You Forget The Way It Once Was, As Well.

Maybe We Were All Destined To Just Keep Doing The Same Stupid Things, Over And Over Again, Never Really Learning A Single Thing.

I Always Say That Teenagers Are The First To Know If You're Pandering To Them.

But It Was Important To Simply Be Sought, Even If You Didn‟t Ever Want To Be Found.

A Thump Thump Thump Noise That Was So Unfamiliar, And Yet I Couldn't Quite Place It. But I Knew It. It Was - "mmm-hmmm," Monica Murmured, Just As Wes Came View Into The Path. He Was Running, His Pace Quick And Steady. He Was In Shorts, His Shirt Off, Staring Ahead As He Passed. His Back Was Tan And Gleaming With Sweat.

I Was Tired Of Hanging On, Taking The Torn Pieces To Make Something Whole With Them.

Like So Many Before Them, They Didn't Care That My Dad Was Only The Messenger. They Still Wanted To Shoot Him.

But I Always Worked Harder When I Was Up Against Something, Or When Someone Assumed I Couldn't Succeed. That's What Drove Me, All Those Nights Studying. The Fact That So Many Figured I Couldn't Do It.

It Wasn't About Being Happy Or Unhappy. I Just Didn't Want To Be Me Anymore.

That's Not A Real Answer.' Says Who?' Says Me. I Mean Real Fear, Like Of Failure, Of Death, Of Regret. Like That. Something That Keeps You Awake Nights, Questioning Your Very Existence.' Clowns.

I'd Heard Of Evergreen Care Center Before. Cass And I Had Always Made Fun Of The Stupid Ads They Ran On Tv, Featuring Some Dragged-out Woman With A Limp Perm And Big, Painted-on Circles Under Her Eyes, Downing Vodka And Sobbing Uncontrollably. "we Can't Heal You At Evergreen", The Very Somber Voiceover Said. "but We Can Help You To Heal Yourself." It Had Become Our Own Running Joke, Applicable To Almost Anything. "hey Cass, "i'd Say, "hand Me That Toothpaste." "caitlin," She'd Say, Her Voice Dark And Serious. "i Can't Hand You The Toothpaste. But I Can Help You Hand The Toothpaste To Yourself.

Look, The Point Is There's No Way To Be A Hundred Percent Sure About Anyone Or Anything. So You're Left With A Choice. Either Hope For The Best Or Just Expect The Worst.

There Is Never A Time Or Place For True Love. It Happens Accidentally, In A Heartbeat, In A Single Flashing, Throbbing Moment.

Teenagers Are A Great Audience And They Are Fearless About Asking What They Want To Know.

Just Me And The Future, Finally Together. Now There Was A Happy Ending I Could Believe In.

And I Felt Comfort. Finally. All I'd Wanted For So Long Was For Someone To Explain Everything That Had Happened To Me In This Same Way. To Label It Neatly On A Page: This Leads To This Leads To This. I Knew, Deep Down, It Was More Complicated Than That, But Watching Jason, I Was Hopeful. He Took The Mess That Was Macbeth And Fixed It, And I Had To Wonder If He Might, In Some Small Way, Be Able To Do The Same For Me. So I Moved Myself Closer To Him, And I'd Been There Ever Since.

I Hated High School. I Was Not The Greatest Student, Participated In No Activities, And Spent Most Of My Time Hanging Out In My Parking Lot.

Everything Hurt. I Closed My Eyes, Pressing My Cheek To The Street, And Waited. What For, I Didn't Know. To Be Rescued. Or Found. But No One Came. All I'd Ever Thought I Wanted Was To Be Left Alone. Until I Was.

Like Life Isn't Complicated Enough. You Should At Least Be Able To Follow The Signs.

Family Isnt About Blood Relationships, Its About The Meaning Behind Them. I Relize Now That Sharing Chromosoms Is Not The Only Way To Having A Family, Its About The Friendship Behind It.

Maybe Marriage, Like Life, Is'nt Only About The Big Moments, Whether They Be Good Or Bad. Maybe It's All The Small Things — Like Being Guided Slowly Forward, Surely, Day After Day — That Stretches Out To Strengthen Even The Most Tenuous Bond.

Society. The Same Society, I Might Add, That Dictates That Little Girls Should Always Be Sugar And Spice And Everything Nice, Which Encourages Them Not To Be Assertive. And That, In Turn, Then Leads To Low Self-esteem, Which Can Lead To Eating Disorders And Increased Tolerance And Acceptance Of Domestic, Sexual, And Substance Abuse." "you Get All That From A Pink Onesie?" Leah Said After A Moment.

So This Had Been All I Wanted, A Boy Who Understood How I Felt. Now, Though, I Sometimes Wished For More.

In Midair, Dangling Lost Above The World.

It's Hard To Be Nice When The Rest Of The World Is So Mean.

Maybe" She Said. "i Just Wish We'd Have A Little Mishap.it Would Be Reassuring

As He Heard Me Approach, He Quickly Leaped Up, Grabbing A Nearby Loaf Of Bread And Holding It In Front Of Him As If Struck By A Sudden Desire To Make A Sandwich.

There Has To Be A Middle. Without It, Nothing Can Ever Truly Be Whole. Because It Is Not Just The Space Between, But Also What Holds Everything Together.

We Can't Expect Everybody To Be There For Us, All At Once. So It's A Lucky Thing That Really, All You Need Is Someone.

So Much Had Happened That Morning. Yet It Was This Image, This Moment, That I Kept Going Back To Hours Later, After We'd Made It Safely To The Walkway And Gone Our Separate Ways To Classes. How It Felt To Have The World Moving Beneath Me, A Hand Gripping Mine, Knowing If I Fell, At Least I Wouldn't Do It Alone.

Pretend To Be A Delinquent?" I Asked Clarifying. "you Can Do It," Dave Advised Me. "just Don't Smile, And Try To Look Like You're Considering Stealing Something.

Says The Girl With No Thyme.

Just Because Someone's Pretty, Doesn't Mean She's Decent.

I Wasn’t Ready To Think About The Other Yet: That It Wasn’t That I Wasn’t Right For Macon, But That Maybe He Wasn’t Right For Me. There Was A Difference. Even For Someone Who Things Didn’t Come Easy For, Someone Like Me.

As I Stepped Out To Face Myself In The Mirror, Reaching A Hand To Smooth Away The Steam, I Saw Myself Differently. It Was As If I Had Grown Again As I Slept, But This Time Just To Fit My Own Size. As If My Soul Had Expanded, Filling Out The Gaps Of The Height That Had Burdened Me All These Months. Like A Balloon Filling Slowly With Air, Becoming All Smooth And Buoyant, I Felt Like I Finally Fit Within Myself, Edge To Edge, Every Crevice Filled.

In School, Writing Was The Only Thing That Really Came Naturally To Me, But It Wasn't Until College That I Realized That I Could Do It For More Than Just Fun.

When You Don't Know Where You're Going, Maybe It Wasn't Such A Bad Thing To Have More Than You Need.

Yeah. I Mean, Acknowledging Is Easy. Something Happened Or It Didn't. But Understanding... That's Where Things Get Sticky.

Get Back On That Bike.

I Would Have Thought This Would Make Me Feel Better.. Getting To Be The One To Leave And Not The One Left Behind. But It Didn't. Not At All.

So He Didn't Have To Prove How He Felt About Me. Like So Much Else, I Should Just Know.

Clearly, Sharing Something Could Take You A Long Way, Or At Least To A Different Place Than You'd Planned. Like A Friendship Or A Family, Or Even Jsut Alone On A Curb On A Saturday, Trying To Get Your Bearings As Best You Can.

The Silence Wasn't Like The Ones I'd Known Lately, Though: It Wasn't Empty As Much As Chosen. There's A Entirely Different Feel To Quiet When You're With Some-one Else, And At Any Moment It Could Be Broken. Like The Difference Between A Pause And An Ending.

The Thing About Wes," Delia Said To Me, Unwrapping Another Package Of Turkey, "is That He Thinks He Can Fix Anything. And If He Can't Fix It, He Can At Least Do Something With The Pieces Of What's Broken.

I Think As A Writer One Of The Benefits Is That You Can Put Things That You're Interested In Into Your Books. I Always Have Put A Lot Of Food And Restaurants Because I Was A Waitress And I Love To Eat.

I Seriously Doubt That The Santa Police Do An Underwear Check." -cora

From Up Above, In A Plane Passing Over, You’d Just See One Little Light In All This Dark, With No Idea Of The Lives That Were Being Lived Within It, And In The House Beside, And Beside That One. So Much Happening In The World, Night And Day, Hour By Hour. It Was No Wonder We Were Meant To Sleep, If Only To Check Out Of It For A Little While.

The Girl In The Tight Black Dress Was Passing By Us Now, Eyeing Wes And Walking Entirely Too Slowly. "hi," She Said, And He Nodded At Her But Didn't Reply. Knew It, I Thought. Honestly," I Said. What?" Come On. You Have To Admit, It's Sort Of Ridiculous." What Is?" Now That I Had To Define It, I Found Myself Struggling For The Right Words. "you Know," I Said, Then Figured Kristy Had Really Summed It Up Best. "the Sa-woon." The What?

It Wasn’t So Much That I Was Positive. I Just Wasn’t Fully Subscribing To Such A Negative Way Of Thinking Anymore.

Way Of Thinking

It Took A Lot Of Work To Be Perfect. If You Didn’t Want To Break A Sweat, There Was No Point In Even Bothering.

In Those First Few Hours Officially Single Again The World Seems Like It Expands, Suddenly Bigger And More Vast Now That You Have To Get Through It Alone.

It's A Great Compliment That People Think They're Fast Reads. It's Always Funny To Me Because It Takes So Long To Get A Book (written) -- For Me, It's Never Quick.

"look," I Said, "we Knew Jason And Becky Would Be Back, The Break Would End. This Isn't A Surprise, It's What's Supposed To Happen. It's What We Wanted. Right?" "is It?" He Asked. "is It What You Want?" Whether He Intended It To Be Or Not, This Was The Final Question, The Last Truth. If I Said What I Really Thought, I Was Opening Myself Up For A Hurt Bigger Than I Could Even Imagine. I Didn't Have It In Me. We Changed And Altered So Many Rules, But It Was This One, The Only One When We'd Started, That I Would Break. "yes," I Said.

You Couldn't See The Key Around My Neck: It Hung Too Low Under Both Collars. But If I Leaned In Close, I Could Make It Out, Buried Deep Beneath. Out Of Sight, Hard To Recognize, But Still Able To Be Found, Even If I Was The Only One To Ever Look For It.

I Don't Believe In Failure, Because Simply By Saying You've Failed, You've Admitted You Attempted. And Anyone Who Attempts Is Not A Failure. Those Who Truly Fail In My Eyes Are The Ones Who Never Try At All. The Ones Who Sit On The Couch And Whine And Moan And Wait For The World To Change For Them.

Best Friends. And I Thought Of What She Had Done All The Millions Of Times I Cried To Her, Collapsing At Even The Slightest Wounding Of My Heart Or Pride. So I Reached Over And Pulled Her To Me, Wrapping My Arms Around Her, And Held My Best Friend Close, Returning So Many Favors All At Once.

I Didn't Trot My Pain Out To Show Around. I Kept It Better Hidden Than Anyone. I Did.

Watching Him, I Thought, Not For The First Time That Night, That Maybe It Should Have Felt Strange To Be With Him, Here, Now. And Yet It Didn’t, At All. That Was One Of The Things About The Night. Stuff That Would Be Weird In The Bright Light Of Day Just Wasn’t So Much Once You Passed A Certain Hour. It Was Like The Dark Just Evened It All Out Somehow.

It's Nice To Have Options Even If You Can't Take Them.

This Was Just One Night, One Chance To Vary And See Where It Took Me. The Fireflies Were Probably Already Out: Maybe It Wasn’t Just A Season Or A Time But A Whole World I’d Forgotten. I’d Never Know Until I Stepped Out Into It. So I Did.

Maybe I'd Just Figured Out There Were Some Things You Were Better Off Not Knowing

I Wanted To Tell Him So. Find The Right Words, String Them Together In The Ideal Way, Knowing That Here They Would Have The Best Chance Of Sounding Perfect.

I Wasn't Sure What I Expected Her To Do Or Say To This. It Was All New To Me From That Second On. But Clearly, She'd Been There Before. It Was Obvious In The Easy Way She Shrugged Off Her Bag, Letting It Fall With A Thump Onto The Sand, Before Sitting Down Beside Me. She Didn't Pull Me Close For A Big Bonding Hug Or Offer Up Some Saccharine Words Of Comfort, Both Of Which Would Have Sent Me Running For Sure. Instead She Gave Me Nothing But Her Company, Realizing Even Before I Did This That This, In Fact, Was Just What I Needed.

Doesn't It Seem Sometimes That The Whole World's Uphill But At Least We Know The Way Back Will Be Easy.

Everything, In The End, Comes Down To Timing. One Second, One Minute, One Hour, Could Make All The Difference. So Much Hanging On Just These Things, Tiny Increments That Together Build A Life. Like Words Build A Story, And What Had Ted Said? One Word Can Change The Entire World.

But Against Love, The Case Was Solid. Easily Argued. And You Could, Indeed, Hold It In Your Hand.

Morris Was Not The Type To Offer A Hug Or Even Hold Your Hand. But There Was Something In His Quiet Indignation At The Universe Then--and Luke, Now--that Was Just The Kind Of Comfort I Needed. "i'm Such A Mess," I Said. "we're Almost Off The Island And I Didn't Even Ask You Where You Were Going." He Shrugged. "no Place. Wherever You Are.

I've Given Lots Of People Chances. But There's Only So Much Faith You Can Have In People.

Needing Was So Easy: It Came Naturally, Like Breathing. Being Needed By Someone Else, Though, That Was The Hard Part. But As With Giving Help And Accepting It, We Had To Do Both To Be Made Complete-like Links Overlapping To Form A Chain, Or A Lock Finding The Right Key.

From This Distance, In The Dimness, The Model Looked Surreal, Made Up Of Parts Filled With Buildings, Bordered By Long Stretches Of Empty Space. It Reminded Me Of The Way Cities And Towns Look When You Are Flying At Night. You Can't Make Out Much. But The Places Where People Have Come Together, And Stayed, Are Collections Of Tiny Lights, Breaking Up The Darkness.

I've Seen What Commitment Leads To. Going In Is The Easy Part. It's The Ending That Sucks! -remy

The Health Of The People I Love Is All That Really Matters In This World. Period.

I Don't Get It,' Caroline Said, Bemused. 'she's The Only One With Wings. Why Is That?' There Were So Many Questions In Life. You Couldn't Ever Have All The Answers. But I Knew This One. It's So She Can Fly,' I Said. Then I Started To Run.

Are Those The Only Options? Nothing Or Forever?

It Was So Weird, Because Usually I Was Totally Nervous Talking To Guys. But Eli Was Different. He Made Me Want To Say More, Not Less. Which Was Maybe Not A Good Thing.

I Eased Back On My Elbows, Tilting My Head Back To Look Up At The Sky, Which Was Pinkish, Streaked With Red. This Was The Time We Knew Best, That Stretch Of Day Going From Dusk To Dark. It Seemed Like We Were Always Waiting For Nighttime Here. I Could Feel The Trampoline Easing Up And Down, Moved By Our Own Breathing, Bringing Us In Small Increments Up And Back From The Sky As The Colors Faded, Slowly, And The Stars Began To Show Themselves.

Trending Author

Hector Hugh Munro

Kate Beckinsale

Category