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Goods Are Displayed By Thousands Of Shopkeepers With A Sense Of Beauty That Finds No Other Outlet.

-Mignon McLaughlin

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Goods Are Displayed By

Mignon McLaughlin

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Goods Are Displayed By Thousands Of Shopkeepers With A Sense Of Beauty That Finds No Other Outlet.

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Most Of Our Diversions Do Not So Much Delay Death As Accustom Us To It.

Without Enthusiasm, Virtue Functions Not At All, And Vice Only Poorly.

Pity All Newlyweds. She Cooks Something Nice For Him, And He Brings Her Flowers, And They Kiss And Think: How Easy Marriage Is.

The Chief Reason For Drinking Is The Desire To Behave In A Certain Way, And To Be Able To Blame It On Alcohol.

Throughout Our Lives, We See In The Mirror The Same Innocent Trusting Face We Have Seen There Since Childhood.

If Only We Could Be Old And Sick While We're Still Young And Healthy Enough To Put Up With It!

When Threatened, The First Thing A Democracy Gives Up Is Democracy.

Neurotic: Someone Who Can Go From The Bottom To The Top, And Back Again, Without Ever Once Touching The Middle.

The First Two Days Of A Vacation Are Endless; Then It Flies.

What A Shame That Allowances Have To Stop With The Teens: Both Those That Are Paid To Us And Those That Are Made For Us.

Nobody Knows The Trouble We've Seen-but We Keep Trying To Tell Them.

All Women Are Basically In Competition With Each Other For A Handful Of Eligible Men.

Hate Leaves Ugly Scars, Love Leaves Beautiful Ones.

It's Terrifying To See Someone Inside Of Whom A Vital Spring Seems To Have Been Broken. It's Particularly Terrifying To See Him In Your Mirror.

Your Best Work Always Seems To Have Been Done By Someone Else.

When The Pressures Really Mount, The Neurotic Must Choose: Shall He Have A Good Cry, Or Set Fire To His Neighbor's House?

A Love That Lasts For Twenty Years May Be Better Than Love, But It Isn't Love.

Your Children Tell You Casually Years Later What It Would Have Killed You With Worry To Know At The Time.

They Threaten Me With Lung Cancer, And Still I Smoke And Smoke. If They'd Only Threaten Me With Hard Work, I Might Stop.

Failure Can Get To Be A Rather Comfortable Old Friend.

Society Honors Its Living Conformists And Its Dead Troublemakers.

With Each Passing Year, One Has Less To Say, And Knows Better How To Say It.

I'm Glad I Don't Have To Explain To A Man From Mars Why Each Day I Set Fire To Dozens Of Little Pieces Of Paper, And Then Put Them In My Mouth.

Whether Or Not You Love Television, You've Got To Admit That It Certainly Loves Itself.

We Often Pray To Be Better, When In Truth We Only Want To Feel Better.

Men Gossip Less Than Women, But Mean It.

Tragedy Isn't Getting Something, Or Failing To Get It; It's Losing Something You Already Have.

It's Awesome To Realize That If Your Greatest Potential Talent Is For Riding A Bicycle Upside Down On A High Wire, You Will Somehow Discover It.

Every Now And Then You Run Across Radiantly Attractive People And You're Delighted To Find They Adore You, Till You Realize That They Adore Just About Everybody - And That's What's Made Them Radiantly Attractive.

Too Much Money Is As Demoralizing As Too Little, And There's No Such Thing As Exactly Enough.

A Woman Ought To Look Up To Her Husband, If Only A Half-inch.

Many Of Us Go Through Life Feeling As An Actor Might Feel Who Does Not Like His Part And Does Not Believe In The Play.

We Are Like People With Short-term Leases On Summer Cottages; We Can Never Seem To Make Our Provisions Come Out Even With Our Stay.

I Tell You This, And I Tell You Plain: What You Have Done, You Will Do Again; You Will Bite Your Tongue, Careful Or Not, Upon The Already-bitten Spot.

Fields Can Lie Fallow But We Can't; We Have Less Time.

Men Who Don't Like Girls With Brains Don't Like Girls.

Nobody Ever Loved Anybody Like Everybody Wants To Be Loved.

It Upsets Women To Be, Or Not To Be, Stared At Hungrily.

What You Have Become Is The Price You Paid To Get What You Used To Want.

People Keep Telling Us About Their Love Affairs, When What We Really Want To Know Is How Much Money They Make And How They Manage On It.

We'd All Like A Reputation For Generosity, And We'd All Like To Buy It Cheap.

There Are Three Iron Links In The Neurotic's Chain: Unloving, Unlovable, Unloved.

There Is Always Some Specific Moment When We Become Aware That Our Youth Is Gone; But, Years After, We Know It Was Much Later.

We Cough Because We Can't Help It, But Others Do It On Purpose.

Surrounded By People Who Love Life, You Love It Too; Surrounded By People Who Don't, You Don't.

Character Is What Emerges From All The Little Things You Were Too Busy To Do Yesterday, But Did Anyway.

Neurotics Are Always Looking For Something New To Overdo.

Nymphomaniac: A Woman As Obsessed With Sex As An Average Man.

Every Group Feels Strong Once It Has Found A Scapegoat.

A Car Is Useless In New York, Essential Everywhere Else. The Same With Good Manners.

Hope Is The Feeling We Have That The Feeling We Have Is Not Permanent.

What We Love About Love Is The Fever, Which Marriage Puts To Bed And Cures.

There's Nothing Wrong With Most Men's Egos That The Kowtowing Of A Headwaiter Can't Cure.

If Your Husband Expects You To Laugh, Do So; If He Expects You To Cry, Don't; If You Don't Know What He Expects, What Are You Doing Married?

Goods Are Displayed By Thousands Of Shopkeepers With A Sense Of Beauty That Finds No Other Outlet.

The Head Never Rules The Heart, But Just Becomes Its Partner In Crime.

Once You Become Self-conscious, There Is No End To It; Once You Start To Doubt, There Is No Room For Anything Else.

The Way The Neurotic Sees It: Bars On His Door Mean That He's Locked In; Bars On Your Door Mean That He's Locked Out.

Creative Work Is One Of Life's Greatest Pleasures, And The Only One We Will Gladly Interrupt.

The Next Voice You Hear Will Undoubtedly Be Your Own.

Anything You Lose Automatically Doubles In Value.

It's Innocence When It Charms Us, Ignorance When It Doesn't.

Purity And Innocence

If I Knew What I Was So Anxious About, I Wouldn't Be So Anxious.

Mumps, Measles, And Puppy Love Are Terrible After Twenty.

We Climb Mountains Because They Are There, And Worship God Because He Is Not.

Philosophy Teaches A Man That He Can't Take It With Him; Taxes Teach Him He Can't Leave It Behind Either.

The Fear Of Being Laughed At Makes Cowards Of Us All.

Life Marks Us All Down, So It's Just As Well That We Start Out By Overpricing Ourselves.

Of All Second-class Citizens, Neurotics Are The Only Ones Who Are So By Choice.

Love Looks Forward, Hate Looks Back, Anxiety Has Eyes All Over Its Head.

The Woman Just Ahead Of You At The Supermarket Checkout Has All The Delectable Groceries You Didn't Even Know They Carried.

The Excesses Of Love Soon Pass, But Its Insufficiencies Torment Us Forever.

Our Strength Is Often Composed Of The Weakness That We're Damned If We're Going To Show.

A Perfect Marriage Is One In Which "i'm Sorry" Is Said Just Often Enough.

Neurotics Dream Of A Good Life, Or A Great Suicide Note.

We Semaphore From Ship To Ship, But They're Sinking, Too.

The Only Courage That Matters Is The Kind That Gets You From One Moment To The Next.

We Choose Those We Like; With Those We Love, We Have No Say In The Matter.

Being Neurotic Is Like Shooting Fish In A Barrel, And Missing Them.

Things Are Never So Bad That They Can't Get Worse. But They're Sometimes So Bad They Can't Get Better.

A Husband Only Worries About A Particular Other Man; A Wife Distrusts Her Whole Species.

Most Sermons Sound To Me Like Commercials - But I Can't Make Out Whether God Is The Sponsor Or The Product.

Neurotics Would Like To Sleep All The Time, And To Be Awakened Only When There Is Good News.

We Are Seldom Happy With What We Now Have, But Would Go To Pieces If We Lost Any Part Of It.

Don't Be Yourself - Be Someone A Little Nicer.

My Religious Position: I Think That God Could Do A Lot Better, And I'm Willing To Give Him The Chance.

The Neurotic Keeps Minute Track Of His Enemies; It Is Only His Friends He Is Careless About.

If The Pain Wanders, Do Not Waste Your Time With Doctors.

We Are Never More Self-righteous Than When Giving Up What We Should Have Shunned All Along.

No One Ever Loved Anyone The Way That Person Wanted To Be Loved.

Wanted To Be Loved

If I Knew Why I Worried So Much, I Wouldn't Worry.

What We Forgive Too Freely Doesn't Stay Forgiven.

Power Of Forgiveness

Neurotics Make Poor Patriots; If You're Ashamed Of Something As Big As Yourself, It's Hard To Be Proud Of Something As Small As Your Country.

No Good Neurotic Finds It Difficult To Be Both Opinionated And Indecisive.

Albert Einstein When Asked What He Considered To Be The Most Powerful Force In The Universe Answered: Compound Interest!

People Find It Hard To Be Both Comic And Serious, Though Life Manages It Easily Enough.

We Catch Frightful Glimpses Of Ourselves In The Hostile Eyes Of Others.

It Is Important To Our Friends To Believe That We Are Unreservedly Frank With Them, And Important To Friendship That We Are Not.

We Work For Praise, And Dawdle Once We Have It.

If You Jot Down Every Silly Thought That Pops Into Your Mind, You Will Soon Find Out Everything You Most Seriously Believe.

Happiness Is Like The Penny Candy Of Our Youth: We Got A Lot More For Our Money Back When We Had No Money.

We Can Never Understand Other People's Motives, Nor Their Furniture.

My Thoughts, I Guess, Are Bitter; Who But The Bitter Have Thoughts?

In The Arithmetic Of Love, One Plus One Equals Everything, And Two Minus One Equals Nothing.

A Productive Marriage Requires Falling In Enjoy Numerous Occasions, Usually With The Identical Man Or Woman.

The Past Is Rich In Lessons From Which We Would Greatly Profit Except That The Present Is Always So Full Of Special Circumstances.

I'm Afraid To Win, And Afraid To Lose; I Hate A Draw And Can't Stop Competing; Otherwise I'm Fine.

The Young Are Generally Full Of Revolt, And Are Often Pretty Revolting About It.

Make A Habit Of Telling The Truth, Or Make A Habit Of Lying: To Decide Each Case On Its Own Merits Is Exhausting, And Hardly Ever Worth It.

Telling The Truth

You Will Turn Over Many A Futile New Leaf Till You Learn We Must All Write On Scratched-out Pages.

Beauty Often Fades, But Seldom So Swiftly As The Joy It Gives Us.

Love Is Often Gentle, Desire Always A Rage.

When Their Children Fail To Charm Others, Few Parents Can Stay Neutral.

Healthy Parakeets Have The Nervous Energy Of Tennis Players.

The Two Main Hazards Of Psychoanalysis: That It Might Fail, And That If It Succeeds, You'll Never Be Able To Forgive Yourself For All Those Wasted Years.

If You Are Brave Too Often, People Will Come To Expect It Of You.

The Neurotic Lies Awake At Night, Composing Letters To Those He Hates. He Seldom Thinks Of Dropping A Line To Those He Loves.

Loneliness, Insomnia, And Change: The Fear Of These Is Even Worse Than The Reality.

Men Never Know How Tired They Are Till Their Wives Sit Them Down For A Nice Long Talk.

As We Are Human, We Can't Do What We Can't Do; As We're Neurotic, We Can't Do What We Can.

People Are Like Birds: On The Wing, All Beautiful; Up Close, All Beady Little Eyes.

A Sense Of Humor Is A Major Defense Against Minor Troubles.

You Can't Truthfully Explain Your Smallest Action Without Fully Revealing Your Character.

All Love Is Probationary, A Fact Which Frightens Women And Exhilarates Men.

The Neurotic Thinks Himself Both Hamlet And Claudius, In A World That Belongs To Polonius.

There's An Awful Lot Of Blood Around That Water Is Thicker Than.

There's Something In Every Atheist, Itching To Believe, And Something In Every Believer, Itching To Doubt.

If It Came True, It Wasn't Much Of A Dream.

Don't Ask Others To Forgive In You A Sin They're Dying To Commit Themselves.

Hot Dogs Always Seem Better Out Than At Home; So Do French-fried Potatoes; So Do Your Children.

We Wake In The Night, To Stereophonic Silence.

Every Day Of Our Lives We Are On The Verge Of Making Those Slight Changes That Would Make All The Difference.

It Is Always Safe To Tell People That They're Looking Wonderful.

A Doctor Recently Described To Me "benign Positional Vertigo": It Means You Get Dizzy In Certain Positions, But You Can Get Over It Without Necessarily Changing The Position. Change "vertigo" To "anxiety," And You've Summed Up The Neurotic's Plight.

How Can A Man Marry Wisely In His Twenties? The Girl He's Going To Wind Up Wanting Hasn't Even Been Born.

Neurotics Have Plenty Of Non-neurotic Friends, But Not For Long.

Women Usually Love What They Buy, Yet Hate Two-thirds Of What Is In Their Closets.

A Good Executive Is One Who Makes People Contentedly Settle For Less Than They Meant To Get, In Return For More Than They Meant To Give.

Confession Is Good For The Conscience, But It Usually Bypasses The Soul.

If Your Children Spend Most Of Their Time In Other People's Houses, You're Lucky; If They All Congregate At Your House, You're Blessed.

The Neurotic Usually Obeys His Own Golden Rule: Hate Thy Neighbor As Thyself.

We Welcome Passion, For The Mind Is Briefly Let Off Duty.

Most Of Us Would Rather Risk Catastrophe Than Read The Directions.

A Woman Telling Her True Age Is Like A Buyer Confiding His Final Price To An Armenian Rug Dealer.

Love Requires A Willingness To Die; Marriage, A Willingness To Live.

Good-looking Girls Break Hearts, And Goodhearted Girls Mend Them.

We Come Late, If At All, To Wine And Philosophy: Whiskey And Action Are Easier.

The Neurotic Is Always Half-drowning In Anxiety, And Always Being Half-rescued.

What You Can't Get Out Of, Get Into Wholeheartedly.

Many Of Us Are Equal To Life's Emergencies Who Cannot Bear Its Day-after-dayness.

We Waste A Lot Of Time Running After People We Could Have Caught By Just Standing Still.

Men Enjoy Being Thought Of As Hunters, But Are Generally Too Lazy To Hunt. Women, On The Other Hand, Love To Hunt, But Would Rather Nobody Knew It.

A New Wound Makes All The Old Ones Ache Again.

How Strange That The Young Should Always Think The World Is Against Them - When In Fact That Is The Only Time It Is For Them.

When Suffering Comes, We Yearn For Some Sign From God, Forgetting We Have Just Had One.

World Suffering

After The Chills And Fever Of Love, How Nice Is The 98.6 Degrees Of Marriage.

To Talk Easily With People, You Must Firmly Believe That Either You Or They Are Interesting. And Even Then It's Not Easy.

The Neurotic Longs To Touch Bottom, So At Least He Won't Have That To Worry About Anymore.

Theatre Audiences Can't Be Made To Think And Cry: At Best, They Can Be Made To Think And Laugh, Or To Feel And Cry.

We Have A Terror Of Seeming To Exert Ourselves, Lest It Be Noticed That We Exerted Ourselves And Did Not Succeed.

If There Is Something You Must Do And You Cannot Do It, You Cannot Do Anything Else.

I've Been Hiding From God, And I'm Appalled To Find How Easy It Is.

It's Wonderful To Watch Pretty Women With Character Grow Beautiful.

It's Impossible To Be Loyal To Your Family, Your Friends, Your Country, And Your Principles, All At The Same Time.

Ma-ma Does Everything For The Baby, Who Responds By Saying Da-da First.

When The Pain Is Great Enough, We Will Let Anyone Be Doctor.

Life Is A Mixed Blessing, Which We Vainly Try To Unmix.

Women Are Never Landlocked: They're Always Mere Minutes Away From The Briny Deep Of Tears.

Women Flirt To Keep Their Stock High, Men To Get Somewhere.

The Plague Of Government Is Senile Delinquency.

Even Cowards Can Endure Hardship; Only The Brave Can Endure Suspense.

Revenge Leads To An Empty Fullness, Like Eating Dirt.

Money: In Its Absence, We Are Coarse; In Its Presence, We Are Vulgar.

It Must Infuriate Our Children To See Us Always So Much More Forbearing With Everybody Else's.

At The Beginning Of A Love Affair, Not Even The Neurotic Is Neurotic.

As We Grow Older, Our Capacity For Enjoyment Shrinks, But Not Our Appetite For It.

Elegimos Aquellos Que Nos Gusta, Con Los Que Amamos, No Tenemos Voz En El Asunto.

Women Who Feel Naked Without Their Lipstick Are Well Over Thirty.

In Church, Sacred Music Would Make Believers Of Us All — But Preachers Can Be Counted On To Restore The Balance.

Neurotics Think Of The Past With Resentment, And The Future With Dread; The Present Just Doesn't Exist.

A Hypochondriac Is One Who Has A Pill For Everything Except What Ails Him.

Those Who Are Brutally Honest Are Seldom So With Themselves.

Brutally Honest

There Are Children Born To Be Children, And Others Who Must Mark Time Till They Can Take Their Natural Places As Adults.

We Are Irritated By Rascals, Intolerant Of Fools, And Prepared To Love The Rest. But Where Are They?

There Are Always A Few People You Do A Lot For, And A Few Who Do A Lot For You, But They're Not The Same People.

Spring, Summer, And Fall Fill Us With Hope; Winter Alone Reminds Us Of The Human Condition.

When You Let Money Speak For You, It Drowns Out Anything Else You Meant To Say.

If You Hate Your Lot But Wouldn't Trade It, It's Not Your Lot You Hate.

Women Polish The Silver And Water The Plants And Wait To Be Really Needed.

When Hope Is Hungry, Everything Feeds It

A Woman Will Do Anything To Keep A Pretty Figure, But Hardly Anything To Get One.

One Day You Are An Apprentice, And Everybody's Pet; The Next, You Are Coldly Expected To Deliver. There Is Never Sufficient Warning That The Second Day Is Coming.

Comfort, Or Revelation: God Owes Us One Of These, But Surely Not Both.

With Men, As With Women, The Main Struggle Is Between Vanity And Comfort; But With Men, Comfort Often Wins.

The Only Mothers It Is Safe To Forget On Mother's Day Are The Good Ones.

If You Must Reread Old Love Letters, Better Pick A Room Without Mirrors.

Cash Is The One Gift Everyone Despises And No One Turns Down.

In Life, As In Restaurants, We Swallow A Lot Of Indigestible Stuff Just Because It Comes With The Dinner.

Learning Too Soon Our Limitations, We Never Learn Our Powers.

Only Where Children Gather Is There Any Real Chance Of Fun.

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