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Albert Einstein When Asked What He Considered To Be The Most Powerful Force In The Universe Answered: Compound Interest!

-Mignon McLaughlin

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Albert Einstein When Asked

Mignon McLaughlin

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Albert Einstein When Asked What He Considered To Be The Most Powerful Force In The Universe Answered: Compound Interest!

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The Neurotic Longs To Touch Bottom, So At Least He Won't Have That To Worry About Anymore.

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Neurotics Dream Of A Good Life, Or A Great Suicide Note.

In Retrospect, Our Triumphs Could As Easily Have Happened To Someone Else; But Our Defeats Are Uniquely Our Own.

A Car Is Useless In New York, Essential Everywhere Else. The Same With Good Manners.

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When The Pain Is Great Enough, We Will Let Anyone Be Doctor.

The Death Of Someone We Know Always Reminds Us That We Are Still Alive - Perhaps For Some Purpose Which We Ought To Re-examine.

I Wish I'd Said It First, And I Don't Even Know Who Did: The Only Problems That Money Can Solve Are Money Problems.

The Neurotic Circles Ceaselessly Above A Fogged-in Airport.

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Love Is Often Gentle, Desire Always A Rage.

The Only Courage That Matters Is The Kind That Gets You From One Moment To The Next.

We Come Late, If At All, To Wine And Philosophy: Whiskey And Action Are Easier.

Nobody Knows The Trouble We've Seen-but We Keep Trying To Tell Them.

Of All Second-class Citizens, Neurotics Are The Only Ones Who Are So By Choice.

Nobody Ever Loved Anybody Like Everybody Wants To Be Loved.

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There Are So Many Things That We Wish We Had Done Yesterday, So Few That We Feel Like Doing Today.

Procrastination

Surrounded By People Who Love Life, You Love It Too; Surrounded By People Who Don't, You Don't.

Most Of Our Diversions Do Not So Much Delay Death As Accustom Us To It.

Spring, Summer, And Fall Fill Us With Hope; Winter Alone Reminds Us Of The Human Condition.

Pull Yourself Together' Is Seldom Said To Anyone Who Can.

The Neurotic Keeps Minute Track Of His Enemies; It Is Only His Friends He Is Careless About.

We Are Never More Self-righteous Than When Giving Up What We Should Have Shunned All Along.

The Neurotic Has Perfect Vision In One Eye, But He Cannot Remember Which.

It Must Infuriate Our Children To See Us Always So Much More Forbearing With Everybody Else's.

If The Pain Wanders, Do Not Waste Your Time With Doctors.

Women Polish The Silver And Water The Plants And Wait To Be Really Needed.

If You See In Your Children Most Of Your Own Faults, You Have Failed As A Parent, But Succeeded As A Neurotic.

If You Have To Do It Every Day, For God's Sake Learn To Do It Well.

My Doctor Is Nice; Every Time I See Him, I'm Ashamed Of What I Think Of Doctors In General.

The Neurotic Believes That Life Has Meaning, But That His Life Hasn't.

It Is Important To Our Friends To Believe That We Are Unreservedly Frank With Them, And Important To Friendship That We Are Not.

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No One Ever Loved Anyone The Way That Person Wanted To Be Loved.

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A Successful Marriage Requires Falling In Love Many Times, Always With The Same Person.

Throughout Our Lives, We See In The Mirror The Same Innocent Trusting Face We Have Seen There Since Childhood.

The Chief Reason For Drinking Is The Desire To Behave In A Certain Way, And To Be Able To Blame It On Alcohol.

To Talk Easily With People, You Must Firmly Believe That Either You Or They Are Interesting. And Even Then It's Not Easy.

Minor Vices Lead To Major Ones, But Minor Virtues Stay Put.

A Woman Telling Her True Age Is Like A Buyer Confiding His Final Price To An Armenian Rug Dealer.

How Can A Man Marry Wisely In His Twenties? The Girl He's Going To Wind Up Wanting Hasn't Even Been Born.

Men Really Prefer Reasonably Attractive Women; They Go After The Sensational Ones To Impress Other Men.

We Lavish On Animals The Love We Are Afraid To Show To People. They Might Not Return It; Or Worse, They Might.

When A Man Falls In Love, He Wants To Go To Bed. When A Woman Falls In Love, She Wants To Talk About It.

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I Know Which Side My Bread Is Buttered On: The Side Which Falls On The Carpet.

People Find It Hard To Be Both Comic And Serious, Though Life Manages It Easily Enough.

Many Marriages Are Simply Working Partnerships Between Businessmen And Housekeepers.

What's For Dinner Is The Only Question Many Husbands Ask Their Wives, And The Only One To Which They Care About The Answer.

Those Who Turn To God For Comfort May Find Comfort But I Do Not Think They Will Find God.

We Wake In The Night, To Stereophonic Silence.

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You Will Turn Over Many A Futile New Leaf Till You Learn We Must All Write On Scratched-out Pages.

If The Second Marriage Really Succeeds, The First One Didn't Really Fail.

Everybody Can Write; Writers Can't Do Anything Else.

Comfort, Or Revelation: God Owes Us One Of These, But Surely Not Both.

Most Of Us Would Rather Risk Catastrophe Than Read The Directions.

It's Terrifying To See Someone Inside Of Whom A Vital Spring Seems To Have Been Broken. It's Particularly Terrifying To See Him In Your Mirror.

The Past Is Rich In Lessons From Which We Would Greatly Profit Except That The Present Is Always So Full Of Special Circumstances.

If You Must Reread Old Love Letters, Better Pick A Room Without Mirrors.

Don't Be Yourself - Be Someone A Little Nicer.

It's The Most Unhappy People Who Most Fear Change.

Neurotics Are Always Looking For Something New To Overdo.

Make A Habit Of Telling The Truth, Or Make A Habit Of Lying: To Decide Each Case On Its Own Merits Is Exhausting, And Hardly Ever Worth It.

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Love Looks Forward, Hate Looks Back, Anxiety Has Eyes All Over Its Head.

Despair Is Anger With No Place To Go.

We Always Prefer War On Our Own Terms To Peace On Someone Else's.

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A Husband Only Worries About A Particular Other Man; A Wife Distrusts Her Whole Species.

The Neurotic Thinks Himself Both Hamlet And Claudius, In A World That Belongs To Polonius.

Women Are Good Listeners, But It's A Waste Of Time Telling Your Troubles To A Man Unless There's Something Specific You Want Him To Do.

Fields Can Lie Fallow But We Can't; We Have Less Time.

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Life Marks Us All Down, So It's Just As Well That We Start Out By Overpricing Ourselves.

Women Are Afraid Of Mice And Of Murder, And Of Very Little In Between.

Others Settle For Small Rewards; The Neurotic Must Always Go For Broke.

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We Catch Frightful Glimpses Of Ourselves In The Hostile Eyes Of Others.

Grasp Your Opportunities, No Matter How Poor Your Health; Nothing Is Worse For Your Health Than Boredom.

The Proud Man Can Learn Humility, But He Will Be Proud Of It.

The Past Is Strapped To Our Backs. We Do Not Have To See It; We Can Always Feel It.

Whether Or Not You Love Television, You've Got To Admit That It Certainly Loves Itself.

A Parent Who Has Never Apologized To His Children Is A Monster. If He's Always Apologizing, His Children Are Monsters.

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When We Discuss Those We Love With Those Who Do Not Love Them, The End Of Love Is Near.

Neurotics Always Feel As Though They Were Going Way Up Or Way Down, Which Is Odd In People Going Sideways.

Without Enthusiasm, Virtue Functions Not At All, And Vice Only Poorly.

Forget About Calories - Everything Makes Thin People Thinner, And Fat People Fatter.

In Life, As In Restaurants, We Swallow A Lot Of Indigestible Stuff Just Because It Comes With The Dinner.

Not For Nothing Does The Neurotic Suffer - But Not For Anything Very Much, Either.

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Tragedy Isn't Getting Something, Or Failing To Get It; It's Losing Something You Already Have.

After He Has Had His Tantrum, The Neurotic Expects Those Around Him To Feel Friendly And Relaxed; After All, He Does.

What We Forgive Too Freely Doesn't Stay Forgiven.

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In Any Family, Measles Are Less Contagious Than Bad Habits.

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Hot Dogs Always Seem Better Out Than At Home; So Do French-fried Potatoes; So Do Your Children.

Youth Is Not Enough. And Love Is Not Enough. And Success Is Not Enough. And, If We Could Achieve It, Enough Would Not Be Enough.

Congratulations

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We Are Irritated By Rascals, Intolerant Of Fools, And Prepared To Love The Rest. But Where Are They?

Neurotics Would Like To Sleep All The Time, And To Be Awakened Only When There Is Good News.

A Critic Can Only Review The Book He Has Read, Not The One Which The Writer Wrote.

Elegimos Aquellos Que Nos Gusta, Con Los Que Amamos, No Tenemos Voz En El Asunto.

Life Is A Mixed Blessing, Which We Vainly Try To Unmix.

I'm Always There To Tell People That Their Life Is Not That Bad. I Wish It Was Easy To Follow That Advice.

The Marriage Of Convenience Has This To Recommend It: We Are Better Judges Of Convenience Than We Are Of Love.

If I Knew Why I Worried So Much, I Wouldn't Worry.

Healthy Parakeets Have The Nervous Energy Of Tennis Players.

We Are Keenly Aware Of The Faults Of Our Friends, But If They Like Us Enough It Doesn't Matter.

It's Hard To Feel Middle-aged, Because How Can You Tell How Long You Are Going To Live?

If I Knew What I Was So Anxious About, I Wouldn't Be So Anxious.

Desire Is In Men A Hunger, In Women Only An Appetite.

Failure Can Get To Be A Rather Comfortable Old Friend.

There's Something In Every Atheist, Itching To Believe, And Something In Every Believer, Itching To Doubt.

A First-rate Marriage Is Like A First-rate Hotel: Expensive, But Worth It.

We Waste A Lot Of Time Running After People We Could Have Caught By Just Standing Still.

The Time To Begin Most Things Is Ten Years Ago.

Procrastination

God Doesn't Measure His Bounty, But Oh How We Do!

A Hypochondriac Is One Who Has A Pill For Everything Except What Ails Him.

No Matter How Brilliantly An Idea Is Stated, We Will Not Really Be Moved Unless We Have Already Half Thought Of It Ourselves.

The Head Never Rules The Heart, But Just Becomes Its Partner In Crime.

Anywhere You Go Liking Everyone, Everyone Will Be Likeable.

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Boredom Is Often The Cause Of Promiscuity, And Always Its Result.

Beauty Often Fades, But Seldom So Swiftly As The Joy It Gives Us.

When Hope Is Hungry, Everything Feeds It

The First Two Days Of A Vacation Are Endless; Then It Flies.

What We Love About Love Is The Fever, Which Marriage Puts To Bed And Cures.

The Hardest-learned Lesson: That People Have Only Their Kind Of Love To Give, Not Our Kind.

How Strange That The Young Should Always Think The World Is Against Them - When In Fact That Is The Only Time It Is For Them.

The Neurotic Listens To Weather Reports About Small Craft Warnings, And He Thinks: They're Talking About Me.

The Three Horrors Of Modern Life - Talk Without Meaning, Desire Without Love, Work Without Satisfaction.

Women Who Feel Naked Without Their Lipstick Are Well Over Thirty.

What You Have Become Is The Price You Paid To Get What You Used To Want.

With Each Passing Year, One Has Less To Say, And Knows Better How To Say It.

Your Children Tell You Casually Years Later What It Would Have Killed You With Worry To Know At The Time.

If You Can Tell Anyone About It, It's Not The Worst Thing You Ever Did.

It Does Not Undo Harm To Acknowledge That We Have Done It; But It Undoes Us Not To Acknowledge It.

Theatre Audiences Can't Be Made To Think And Cry: At Best, They Can Be Made To Think And Laugh, Or To Feel And Cry.

Few Novels Or Plays Could Exist Without At Least One Troublemaker In The Group, And Perhaps Life Couldn't Either.

God And The Devil Lose To A Common Enemy: Inertia.

An Old Racetrack Joke Reminds You That Your Program Contains All The Winners' Names. I Stare At My Typewriter Keys With The Same Thought.

Philosophy Teaches A Man That He Can't Take It With Him; Taxes Teach Him He Can't Leave It Behind Either.

All Love Is Probationary, A Fact Which Frightens Women And Exhilarates Men.

When Their Children Fail To Charm Others, Few Parents Can Stay Neutral.

With Men, As With Women, The Main Struggle Is Between Vanity And Comfort; But With Men, Comfort Often Wins.

It Is Always Safe To Tell People That They're Looking Wonderful.

There Are Whole Years For Which I Hope I'll Never Be Cross-examined, For I Could Not Give An Alibi.

Most Of Us Can Easily Do Two Things At Once; What's All But Impossible Is To Do One Thing At Once.

Goods Are Displayed By Thousands Of Shopkeepers With A Sense Of Beauty That Finds No Other Outlet.

Neurotics Are Anxiety Prone, Accident Prone, And Often Just Prone.

People Will Disapprove Of You If You're Unhappy, Or If You're Happy In The Wrong Way.

At Night, Neurotics May Toil Not, But Oh How They Spin!

We Are All Born Brave, Trusting And Greedy, And Most Of Us Remain Greedy.

I Tell You This, And I Tell You Plain: What You Have Done, You Will Do Again; You Will Bite Your Tongue, Careful Or Not, Upon The Already-bitten Spot.

Some Marriages Break Up, And Some Do Not, And In Our World You Can Usually Explain The Former Better Than The Latter.

Many Things Can Make You Miserable For Weeks; Few Can Bring You A Whole Day Of Happiness.

Spite Is Never Lonely; Envy Always Tags Along.

Be Glad That You're Greedy; The National Economy Would Collapse If You Weren't.

We Are All Such A Waste Of Our Potential, Like Three-way Lamps Using One-way Bulbs.

The Neurotic Is Always Half-drowning In Anxiety, And Always Being Half-rescued.

How Tired God Must Be Of Guilt And Loneliness, For That Is All We Ever Bring To Him.

There's An Awful Lot Of Blood Around That Water Is Thicker Than.

People Keep Telling Us About Their Love Affairs, When What We Really Want To Know Is How Much Money They Make And How They Manage On It.

My Thoughts, I Guess, Are Bitter; Who But The Bitter Have Thoughts?

A Woman's Mink Coat Represents The Sacrifice Of A Lot Of Little Animals, Including Her Husband.

Loneliness, Insomnia, And Change: The Fear Of These Is Even Worse Than The Reality.

Cash Is The One Gift Everyone Despises And No One Turns Down.

The Two Main Hazards Of Psychoanalysis: That It Might Fail, And That If It Succeeds, You'll Never Be Able To Forgive Yourself For All Those Wasted Years.

We Are Like People With Short-term Leases On Summer Cottages; We Can Never Seem To Make Our Provisions Come Out Even With Our Stay.

We Choose Those We Like; With Those We Love, We Have No Say In The Matter.

Even Cowards Can Endure Hardship; Only The Brave Can Endure Suspense.

Even In The Same Family, One Child Will Always Instinctively Know When To Ask For Things, And Another Won't.

A Woman Ought To Look Up To Her Husband, If Only A Half-inch.

Those Who Are Brutally Honest Are Seldom So With Themselves.

Brutally Honest

Neurotics Expect You To Remember All The Things That They Tell You, And Many That They Don't.

The Neurotic Usually Obeys His Own Golden Rule: Hate Thy Neighbor As Thyself.

The Know-nothings Are, Unfortunately, Seldom The Do-nothings.

When You Let Money Speak For You, It Drowns Out Anything Else You Meant To Say.

Luck: When Your Burst Of Energy Doesn't Run Afoul Of Someone Else's.

No Good Neurotic Finds It Difficult To Be Both Opinionated And Indecisive.

The Best Work Is Done With The Heart Breaking, Or Overflowing.

Courage Doesn't Know What's Around The Corner, But Goes Around It Anyway.

Around The Corner

Ma-ma Does Everything For The Baby, Who Responds By Saying Da-da First.

A Woman Asks Little Of Love: Only That She Be Able To Feel Like A Heroine.

There Is Always Some Specific Moment When We Become Aware That Our Youth Is Gone; But, Years After, We Know It Was Much Later.

When Women Feel They Have Learned To Forgive Their Mothers - And Men, Their Fathers - All It Usually Means Is That They've Decided To Allow Themselves The Same Kind Of Behavior.

Most Sermons Sound To Me Like Commercials - But I Can't Make Out Whether God Is The Sponsor Or The Product.

Neurotic Quarrels Always Have The Same Theme-song: Hate Me And Get It Over With.

After The Chills And Fever Of Love, How Nice Is The 98.6 Degrees Of Marriage.

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