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The Only Courage That Matters Is The Kind That Gets You From One Moment To The Next.

-Mignon McLaughlin

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The Only Courage That

Mignon McLaughlin

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The Only Courage That Matters Is The Kind That Gets You From One Moment To The Next.

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There Are Now Electrical Appliances With The Main Unit So Sealed In That It Cannot Be Got At For Repair. There Have Always Been Human Beings Like That.

Flesh Goes On Pleasuring Us, And Humiliating Us, Right To The End.

The Neurotic Longs To Touch Bottom, So At Least He Won't Have That To Worry About Anymore.

In The Theater, As In Life, We Prefer A Villain With A Sense Of Humor To A Hero Without One.

There Are Whole Years For Which I Hope I'll Never Be Cross-examined, For I Could Not Give An Alibi.

No One Ever Loved Anyone The Way That Person Wanted To Be Loved.

Wanted To Be Loved

The First Two Days Of A Vacation Are Endless; Then It Flies.

We Are Never More Self-righteous Than When Giving Up What We Should Have Shunned All Along.

It's Hard To Feel Middle-aged, Because How Can You Tell How Long You Are Going To Live?

Nobody Ever Loved Anybody Like Everybody Wants To Be Loved.

The Only Courage That Matters Is The Kind That Gets You From One Moment To The Next.

Confession Is Good For The Conscience, But It Usually Bypasses The Soul.

Not For Nothing Does The Neurotic Suffer - But Not For Anything Very Much, Either.

Don't Be Yourself - Be Someone A Little Nicer.

You Will Turn Over Many A Futile New Leaf Till You Learn We Must All Write On Scratched-out Pages.

Neurotic Quarrels Always Have The Same Theme-song: Hate Me And Get It Over With.

Character Is What Emerges From All The Little Things You Were Too Busy To Do Yesterday, But Did Anyway.

In Youth We Are Plagued By Desire; In Later Years, By The Desire To Feel Desire.

Love Is Often Gentle, Desire Always A Rage.

Men Who Don't Like Girls With Brains Don't Like Girls.

Some Marriages Break Up, And Some Do Not, And In Our World You Can Usually Explain The Former Better Than The Latter.

Anything You Do From The Heart Enriches You, But Sometimes Not Till Years Later.

If I Knew What I Was So Anxious About, I Wouldn't Be So Anxious.

There Are Three Iron Links In The Neurotic's Chain: Unloving, Unlovable, Unloved.

We Have To Call It "freedom": Who'd Want To Die For "a Lesser Tyranny"

I'm Glad I Don't Have To Explain To A Man From Mars Why Each Day I Set Fire To Dozens Of Little Pieces Of Paper, And Then Put Them In My Mouth.

The Young Are Generally Full Of Revolt, And Are Often Pretty Revolting About It.

The Chief Reason For Drinking Is The Desire To Behave In A Certain Way, And To Be Able To Blame It On Alcohol.

The Neurotic Keeps Minute Track Of His Enemies; It Is Only His Friends He Is Careless About.

Mumps, Measles, And Puppy Love Are Terrible After Twenty.

The Neurotic Thinks Himself Both Hamlet And Claudius, In A World That Belongs To Polonius.

Courage Doesn't Know What's Around The Corner, But Goes Around It Anyway.

Around The Corner

Love Is The Silent Saying And Saying Of A Single Name.

Tragedy Isn't Getting Something, Or Failing To Get It; It's Losing Something You Already Have.

Others Follow Patterns; We Alone Are Unpredictable.

Philosophy Teaches A Man That He Can't Take It With Him; Taxes Teach Him He Can't Leave It Behind Either.

Hot Dogs Always Seem Better Out Than At Home; So Do French-fried Potatoes; So Do Your Children.

Even Cowards Can Endure Hardship; Only The Brave Can Endure Suspense.

The Marriage Of Convenience Has This To Recommend It: We Are Better Judges Of Convenience Than We Are Of Love.

At Night, Neurotics May Toil Not, But Oh How They Spin!

Learning Too Soon Our Limitations, We Never Learn Our Powers.

I'm Afraid To Win, And Afraid To Lose; I Hate A Draw And Can't Stop Competing; Otherwise I'm Fine.

Elegimos Aquellos Que Nos Gusta, Con Los Que Amamos, No Tenemos Voz En El Asunto.

Vanity, Revenge, Loneliness, Boredom, All Apply: Lust Is One Of The Least Of The Reasons For Promiscuity.

Our Strength Is Often Composed Of The Weakness That We're Damned If We're Going To Show.

As We Grow Older, Our Capacity For Enjoyment Shrinks, But Not Our Appetite For It.

Every Group Feels Strong Once It Has Found A Scapegoat.

It Is Always Safe To Tell People That They're Looking Wonderful.

Spite Is Never Lonely; Envy Always Tags Along.

Most Of Us Become Parents Long Before We Have Stopped Being Children.

We Cough Because We Can't Help It, But Others Do It On Purpose.

Without Enthusiasm, Virtue Functions Not At All, And Vice Only Poorly.

As We Are Human, We Can't Do What We Can't Do; As We're Neurotic, We Can't Do What We Can.

No One Can Understand Love Who Has Not Experienced Infatuation. And No One Can Understand Infatuation, No Matter How Many Times He Has Experienced It.

What's For Dinner Is The Only Question Many Husbands Ask Their Wives, And The Only One To Which They Care About The Answer.

We Are All Such A Waste Of Our Potential, Like Three-way Lamps Using One-way Bulbs.

No One Really Listens To Anyone Else, And If You Try It For A While You'll See Why.

Every Now And Then You Run Across Radiantly Attractive People And You're Delighted To Find They Adore You, Till You Realize That They Adore Just About Everybody - And That's What's Made Them Radiantly Attractive.

There Are Children Born To Be Children, And Others Who Must Mark Time Till They Can Take Their Natural Places As Adults.

The Neurotic Feels As Though Trapped In A Gas-filled Room Where At Any Moment Someone, Probably Himself, Will Strike A Match.

The Neurotic Circles Ceaselessly Above A Fogged-in Airport.

The Neurotic Lies Awake At Night, Composing Letters To Those He Hates. He Seldom Thinks Of Dropping A Line To Those He Loves.

The Death Of Someone We Know Always Reminds Us That We Are Still Alive - Perhaps For Some Purpose Which We Ought To Re-examine.

The Past Is Strapped To Our Backs. We Do Not Have To See It; We Can Always Feel It.

A Perfect Marriage Is One In Which "i'm Sorry" Is Said Just Often Enough.

Men Prefer Brief Praise, Pitched High; Women Are Satisfied With Praise In A Lower Key, Just So It Goes On And On.

A Bore: One Who Knows As Well As You Do What He Is Going To Say Next.

Most Of Our Diversions Do Not So Much Delay Death As Accustom Us To It.

A Woman Ought To Look Up To Her Husband, If Only A Half-inch.

How Strange That The Young Should Always Think The World Is Against Them - When In Fact That Is The Only Time It Is For Them.

Ma-ma Does Everything For The Baby, Who Responds By Saying Da-da First.

A Sense Of Humor Is A Major Defense Against Minor Troubles.

Pity All Newlyweds. She Cooks Something Nice For Him, And He Brings Her Flowers, And They Kiss And Think: How Easy Marriage Is.

People Will Disapprove Of You If You're Unhappy, Or If You're Happy In The Wrong Way.

Likely As Not, The Child You Can Do The Least With Will Do The Most To Make You Proud.

Naturally, The Neurotic Wants You To Love Him Twice As Much, For He's Going To Cut It In Half Anyway.

The Only Mothers It Is Safe To Forget On Mother's Day Are The Good Ones.

Healthy Parakeets Have The Nervous Energy Of Tennis Players.

Beauty Often Fades, But Seldom So Swiftly As The Joy It Gives Us.

Courage Can't See Around Corners But Goes Around Them Anyway.

I've Been Hiding From God, And I'm Appalled To Find How Easy It Is.

When Their Children Fail To Charm Others, Few Parents Can Stay Neutral.

Hope Is The Feeling We Have That The Feeling We Have Is Not Permanent.

If You See In Your Children Most Of Your Own Faults, You Have Failed As A Parent, But Succeeded As A Neurotic.

A First-rate Marriage Is Like A First-rate Hotel: Expensive, But Worth It.

Many Marriages Are Simply Working Partnerships Between Businessmen And Housekeepers.

True Remorse Is Never Just A Regret Over Consequences; It Is A Regret Over Motive.

Every American Child Should Grow Up Knowing A Second Language, Preferably English.

There Are So Many Things That We Wish We Had Done Yesterday, So Few That We Feel Like Doing Today.

Procrastination

Boredom Is Often The Cause Of Promiscuity, And Always Its Result.

Anywhere You Go Liking Everyone, Everyone Will Be Likeable.

Positive Thinking

Don't Ask Others To Forgive In You A Sin They're Dying To Commit Themselves.

If You Hate Your Lot But Wouldn't Trade It, It's Not Your Lot You Hate.

Says The Rude Child: "no, I Won't Do It." Says The Courteous Grown-up: "yes, I Won't Do It.

Life Is A Mixed Blessing, Which We Vainly Try To Unmix.

Learn A Little Of Anything, And You're Ready To Proselytize.

Your Children Vividly Remember Every Unkind Thing You Ever Did To Them, Plus A Few You Really Didn't.

We Catch Frightful Glimpses Of Ourselves In The Hostile Eyes Of Others.

If The Pain Wanders, Do Not Waste Your Time With Doctors.

The Fear Of Being Laughed At Makes Cowards Of Us All.

The Next Voice You Hear Will Undoubtedly Be Your Own.

Each Day, The American Housewife Turns Toward Television As Toward A Lover. She Feels Guilty About It, And Well She Might, For He's Covered With Warts And Is Only After Her Money.

Women Usually Love What They Buy, Yet Hate Two-thirds Of What Is In Their Closets.

My Thoughts, I Guess, Are Bitter; Who But The Bitter Have Thoughts?

We Climb Mountains Because They Are There, And Worship God Because He Is Not.

When Suffering Comes, We Yearn For Some Sign From God, Forgetting We Have Just Had One.

World Suffering

We Welcome Passion, For The Mind Is Briefly Let Off Duty.

No Woman Wants To See Herself Too Clearly.

The Time To Begin Most Things Is Ten Years Ago.

Procrastination

Those Who Are Brutally Honest Are Seldom So With Themselves.

Brutally Honest

Your Money, Or Your Life. We Know What To Do When A Burglar Makes This Demand Of Us, But Not When God Does.

When Threatened, The First Thing A Democracy Gives Up Is Democracy.

We Are Seldom Happy With What We Now Have, But Would Go To Pieces If We Lost Any Part Of It.

When We Discuss Those We Love With Those Who Do Not Love Them, The End Of Love Is Near.

We Choose Those We Like; With Those We Love, We Have No Say In The Matter.

Nymphomaniac: A Woman As Obsessed With Sex As An Average Man.

Neurotics Dream Of A Good Life, Or A Great Suicide Note.

Luck: When Your Burst Of Energy Doesn't Run Afoul Of Someone Else's.

We All Become Great Explorers During Our First Few Days In A New City, Or A New Love Affair.

Goods Are Displayed By Thousands Of Shopkeepers With A Sense Of Beauty That Finds No Other Outlet.

Women Are The Right Age For Just A Few Years; Men, For Most Of Their Lives.

In Church, Sacred Music Would Make Believers Of Us All — But Preachers Can Be Counted On To Restore The Balance.

Neurotics Would Like To Sleep All The Time, And To Be Awakened Only When There Is Good News.

Your Children Tell You Casually Years Later What It Would Have Killed You With Worry To Know At The Time.

The Woman Just Ahead Of You At The Supermarket Checkout Has All The Delectable Groceries You Didn't Even Know They Carried.

Whatever We Worship, Short Of God, Is Sure To Be Our Undoing.

Be Glad That You're Greedy; The National Economy Would Collapse If You Weren't.

A Car Is Useless In New York, Essential Everywhere Else. The Same With Good Manners.

Of All Second-class Citizens, Neurotics Are The Only Ones Who Are So By Choice.

Desire Creates Havoc When It Is The Only Thing Between Two People, Or When It Is What's Missing.

One Of Life's Few Really Reliable Pleasures: To Have A Family You Love, And To Leave Them For A Week.

It's Awesome To Realize That If Your Greatest Potential Talent Is For Riding A Bicycle Upside Down On A High Wire, You Will Somehow Discover It.

Many Are Saved From Sin By Being So Inept At It.

I Often Pray, Though I'm Not Really Sure Anyone's Listening; And I Phrase It Carefully, Just In Case He's Literary.

The Best Work Is Done With The Heart Breaking, Or Overflowing.

What We Love About Love Is The Fever, Which Marriage Puts To Bed And Cures.

Men Never Know How Tired They Are Till Their Wives Sit Them Down For A Nice Long Talk.

Nostalgia For What We Have Lost Is More Bearable Than Nostalgia For What We Have Never Had, For The First Involves Knowledge And Pleasure, The Second Only Ignorance And Pain.

We'd All Like A Reputation For Generosity, And We'd All Like To Buy It Cheap.

It's Easy Enough To Get Along With A Loved And Loving Child - At Least Till You Try To Get Him To Do Something.

Women Go To Beauty Parlors For The Unmussed Look Men Hate.

Even In The Same Family, One Child Will Always Instinctively Know When To Ask For Things, And Another Won't.

A Critic Can Only Review The Book He Has Read, Not The One Which The Writer Wrote.

Neurotics Are Always Looking For Something New To Overdo.

Neurotics Are Sure That No One Understands Them, And They Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way.

Men Enjoy Being Thought Of As Hunters, But Are Generally Too Lazy To Hunt. Women, On The Other Hand, Love To Hunt, But Would Rather Nobody Knew It.

Many Things Can Make You Miserable For Weeks; Few Can Bring You A Whole Day Of Happiness.

We Can Never At Any Time Absorb More Love Than We're Ready For.

Don't Fool Yourself That Important Things Can Be Put Off Till Tomorrow; They Can Be Put Off Forever, Or Not At All

Procrastination

Suburb: A Place That Isn't City, Isn't Country, And Isn't Tolerable.

Your Best Work Always Seems To Have Been Done By Someone Else.

Love Requires A Willingness To Die; Marriage, A Willingness To Live.

Comfort, Or Revelation: God Owes Us One Of These, But Surely Not Both.

The Plague Of Government Is Senile Delinquency.

We Waste A Lot Of Time Running After People We Could Have Caught By Just Standing Still.

Life Marks Us All Down, So It's Just As Well That We Start Out By Overpricing Ourselves.

You Can't Truthfully Explain Your Smallest Action Without Fully Revealing Your Character.

The Three Horrors Of Modern Life - Talk Without Meaning, Desire Without Love, Work Without Satisfaction.

Neurotics Expect You To Remember All The Things That They Tell You, And Many That They Don't.

If I Knew Why I Worried So Much, I Wouldn't Worry.

Many Of Us Are Equal To Life's Emergencies Who Cannot Bear Its Day-after-dayness.

Others Settle For Small Rewards; The Neurotic Must Always Go For Broke.

A Woman Will Do Anything To Keep A Pretty Figure, But Hardly Anything To Get One.

There Are A Handful Of People Whom Money Won't Spoil, And We All Count Ourselves Among Them.

It Must Infuriate Our Children To See Us Always So Much More Forbearing With Everybody Else's.

The Excesses Of Love Soon Pass, But Its Insufficiencies Torment Us Forever.

Anything You Lose Automatically Doubles In Value.

The First-rate Mind Is Always Curious, Compassionate, Original, And Pessimistic.

Being Neurotic Is Like Shooting Fish In A Barrel, And Missing Them.

Women Are Afraid Of Mice And Of Murder, And Of Very Little In Between.

The Poor Have The Same Basic Pleasures As The Rich, And The Rich Will Always Resent It.

There's Something In Every Atheist, Itching To Believe, And Something In Every Believer, Itching To Doubt.

Once You Become Self-conscious, There Is No End To It; Once You Start To Doubt, There Is No Room For Anything Else.

A Doctor Recently Described To Me "benign Positional Vertigo": It Means You Get Dizzy In Certain Positions, But You Can Get Over It Without Necessarily Changing The Position. Change "vertigo" To "anxiety," And You've Summed Up The Neurotic's Plight.

No Matter How Many Christmas Presents You Give Your Child, There's Always That Terrible Moment When He's Opened The Very Last One. That's When He Expects You To Say, 'oh Yes, I Almost Forgot,' And Take Him Out And Show Him The Pony.

There's An Awful Lot Of Blood Around That Water Is Thicker Than.

Creative Work Is One Of Life's Greatest Pleasures, And The Only One We Will Gladly Interrupt.

In The Arithmetic Of Love, One Plus One Equals Everything, And Two Minus One Equals Nothing.

Love Looks Forward, Hate Looks Back, Anxiety Has Eyes All Over Its Head.

Women Gather Together To Wear Silly Hats, Eat Dainty Food, And Forget How Unresponsive Their Husbands Are. Men Gather To Talk Sports, Eat Heavy Food, And Forget How Demanding Their Wives Are. Only Where Children Gather Is There Any Real Chance Of Fun.

Women Are Never Landlocked: They're Always Mere Minutes Away From The Briny Deep Of Tears.

The Neurotic Believes That Life Has Meaning, But That His Life Hasn't.

If You Jot Down Every Silly Thought That Pops Into Your Mind, You Will Soon Find Out Everything You Most Seriously Believe.

In Retrospect, Our Triumphs Could As Easily Have Happened To Someone Else; But Our Defeats Are Uniquely Our Own.

Men Gossip Less Than Women, But Mean It.

It's Terrifying To See Someone Inside Of Whom A Vital Spring Seems To Have Been Broken. It's Particularly Terrifying To See Him In Your Mirror.

So Long As God Reveals Himself, Or Doesn't, He Is Behaving Like God.

We Come Late, If At All, To Wine And Philosophy: Whiskey And Action Are Easier.

Many Beautiful Women Have Been Made Happy By Their Own Beauty, But No Intelligent Woman Has Ever Been Made Happy By Her Own Intelligence.

If You Are Brave Too Often, People Will Come To Expect It Of You.

When The Pressures Really Mount, The Neurotic Must Choose: Shall He Have A Good Cry, Or Set Fire To His Neighbor's House?

Whenever We Safely Land In A Plane, We Promise God A Little Something.

My Doctor Is Nice; Every Time I See Him, I'm Ashamed Of What I Think Of Doctors In General.

The Know-nothings Are, Unfortunately, Seldom The Do-nothings.

The Total History Of Almost Anyone Would Shock Almost Everyone.

Few Of Us Could Bear To Have Ourselves For Neighbors.

What You Can't Get Out Of, Get Into Wholeheartedly.

All Women Are Basically In Competition With Each Other For A Handful Of Eligible Men.

It Upsets Women To Be, Or Not To Be, Stared At Hungrily.

Neurotics Think Of The Past With Resentment, And The Future With Dread; The Present Just Doesn't Exist.

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