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Even Under The Most Perfect Social Democracy We Should, Without Communism, Still Be Living Like Hogs, Except That Each Hog Would Get His Fair Share Of Grub.... Whilst We Are Hogs, Let Us At Least Be Well-fed, Healthy, Reciprocally Useful Hogs, Instead Of--well, Instead Of The Sort We Are At Present.

-George Bernard Shaw

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Even Under The Most

George Bernard Shaw

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Even Under The Most Perfect Social Democracy We Should, Without Communism, Still Be Living Like Hogs, Except That Each Hog Would Get His Fair Share Of Grub.... Whilst We Are Hogs, Let Us At Least Be Well-fed, Healthy, Reciprocally Useful Hogs, Instead Of--well, Instead Of The Sort We Are At Present.

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The Way To Deal With Worldly People Is To Frighten Them By Repeating Their Scandalous Whisperings Aloud.

Spend All You Have Before You Die, And Do Not Outlive Yourself.

The More Things A Man Is Ashamed Of, The More Respectable He Is.

The Road To Ignorance Is Paved With Good Editors.

The Seven Deadly Sins... Food, Clothing, Firing, Rent, Taxes, Respectability And Children. Nothing Can Lift Those Seven Millstones From Man's Neck But Money; And The Spirit Cannot Soar Until The Millstones Are Lifted.

Christianity Might Be A Good Thing If Anyone Ever Tried It.

Most People Go To Their Grave With Their Music Inside Them.

I Like A State Of Continual Becoming, With A Goal In Front And Not Behind.

With The Exception Of Capitalism, There Is Nothing So Revolting As Revolution.

Fine Art Is The Only Teacher Except Torture.

I Work As My Father Drank.

It Is Ridiculous To Say That Art Has Nothing To Do With Morality. What Is True Is That The Artist's Business Is Not That Of The Policeman.

A Socialist Is Somebody Who Doesn't Have Anything, And Is Ready To Divide It Up Equally Among Everybody.

There Is Nothing In Religion But Fiction.

Hell Is Full Of Musical Amateurs.

The American Constitution, One Of The Few Modern Political Documents Drawn Up By Men Who Were Forced By The Sternest Circumstances To Think Out What They Really Had To Face, Instead Of Chopping Logic In A University Classroom.

The Medieval Doctors Of Divinity Who Did Not Pretend To Settle How Many Angels Could Dance On The Point Of A Needle Cut A Very Poor Figure As Far As Romantic Credulity Is Concerned Beside The Modern Physicists Who Have Settled To The Billionth Of A Millimetre Every Movement And Position In The Dance Of The Electrons. Not For Worlds Would I Question The Precise Accuracy Of These Calculations Or The Existence Of Electrons (whatever They May Be). The Fate Of Joan Is A Warning To Me Against Such Heresy.

You Must All Know Half A Dozen People At Least Who Are No Use In This World, Who Are More Trouble Than They Are Worth. Just Put Them There And Say Sir, Or Madam, Now Will You Be Kind Enough To Justify Your Existence? If You Can't Justify Your Existence, If You're Not Pulling Your Weight In The Social Boat, If You're Not Producing As Much As You Consume Or Perhaps A Little More, Then, Clearly, We Cannot Use The Organizations Of Our Society For The Purpose Of Keeping You Alive, Because Your Life Does Not Benefit Us And It Can't Be Of Very Much Use To Yourself.

Even Under The Most Perfect Social Democracy We Should, Without Communism, Still Be Living Like Hogs, Except That Each Hog Would Get His Fair Share Of Grub.... Whilst We Are Hogs, Let Us At Least Be Well-fed, Healthy, Reciprocally Useful Hogs, Instead Of--well, Instead Of The Sort We Are At Present.

We Know Now That The Soul Is The Body, And The Body The Soul. They Tell Us They Are Different Because They Want To Persuade Us That We Can Keep Our Souls If We Let Them Make Slaves Of Our Bodies.

It Is Not True That Men Can Be Divided Into Absolutely Honest Persons And Absolutely Dishonest Ones. Our Honesty Varies With The Strain Put On It.

Physically There Is Nothing To Distinguish Human Society From The Farm-yard Except That Children Are More Troublesome And Costly Than Chickens And Calves And That Men And Women Are Not So Completely Enslaved As Farm Stock.

Use Your Health, Even To The Point Of Wearing It Out.

Inspirational Health

Capitalism Justified Itself And Was Adopted As An Economic Principle On The Express Ground That It Provides Selfish Motives For Doing Good, And That Human Beings Will Do Nothing Except For Selfish Motives

I Am Afraid We Must Make The World Honest Before We Can Honestly Say To Our Children That Honesty Is The Best Policy.

I Don't. I Look My Age; And I Am My Age. It Is The Other People Who Look Older Than They Are. What Can You Expect From People Who Eat Corpses And Drink Spirits?

My Only Policy Is To Profess Evil And Do Good.

Where There Is No Religion, Hypocrisy Becomes Good Taste.

Hatred Is The Coward's Revenge For Being Intimidated.

Instead Of Otello Being An Italian Opera Written In The Style Of Shakespeare, Othello Is A Play Written By Shakespeare In The Style Of Italian Opera.

It Seems As Though Every Time You Learn Something New You Have To Give Up Something.

All Progress Means War With Society.

Progress Of Society

Cruelty Would Be Delicious If One Could Only Find Some Sort Of Cruelty That Didn't Really Hurt.

A Genius Is A Person Who Is Seeing Further And Probing Deeper Than Other People Has A Different Set Of Ethical Valuations From Their And Has Energy Enough To Give Effect To This Extra Vision And Its Valuations In Whatever Manner Best Suits His Or Her

What Is Self-control? It Is Nothing But A Highly Developed Vital Sense, Dominating And Regulating The Mere Appetites. To Overlook The Very Existence Of This Supreme Sense; To Miss The Obvious Inference That It Is The Quality That Distinguishes The Fittest To Survive.

A Part Of Eugenic Politics Would Finally Land Us In An Extensive Use Of The Lethal Chamber. A Great Many People Would Have To Be Put Out Of Existence Simply Because It Wastes Other People's Time To Look After Them.

It's A Pity Youth Is Wasted On The Young.

No Severity Of Punishment Deters When Detection Is Uncertain, As It Always Must Be.

The Theory That Music Has A Depraving Effect On Morals Has Now Been Abandoned To The Old Women Of Both Sexes.

Reminiscences Make One Feel So Deliciously Aged And Sad.

The Test To Which All Methods Of Treatment Are Finally Brought Is Whether They Are Lucrative To Doctors Or Not.

No Doubt It Is Easy To Demostrate That Property Will Destroy Society Unless Society Destroys It.

It Is One Of The Mysterious Ways Of Allah To Make Women Troublesome When He Makes Them Beautiful.

Perhaps The Greatest Social Service That Can Be Rendered By Anybody To The Country And To Mankind Is To Bring Up A Family. But Here Again, Because There Is Nothing To Sell, There Is A Very General Disposition To Regard A Married Woman's Work As No Work At All, And To Take It As A Matter Of Course That She Should Not Be Paid For It.

The Conversion Of Paul Was No Conversion At All; It Was Paul Who Converted The Religion That Has Raised One Man Above Sin And Death.

You Don't Get Tired Of Muffins, But You Don't Find Inspiration In Them.

An Asylum For The Sane Would Be Empty In America.

In Your Dread Of Dictators You Established A State Of Society In Which Every Ward Boss Is A Dictator, Every Private Employer A Dictator, Every Financier A Dictator, All With The Livelihood Of The Workers At His Mercy, And No Public Responsibility.

Life Levels All Men. Death Reveals The Eminent.

In An Article On Bunyan Lately Published In The "contemporary Review" - The Only Article On The Subject Worth Reading On The Subject I Ever Saw (yes, Thank You, I Am Familiar With Macaulay's Patronizing Prattle About "the Pilgrim's Progress") Etc.

Silence Is The Most Perfect Expression Of Scorn.

Just Do What Must Be Done. This May Not Be Happiness, But It Is Greatness.

You Have Set Up In New York Harbor A Monstrous Idol Which You Call Liberty. The Only Thing That Remains To Complete That Monument Is To Put On Its Pedestal The Inscription Written By Dante On The Gate Of Hell: All Hope Abandon Ye Who Enter Here.

Start With The Belief That Your Life Can Indeed Be Changed, And That You Have The Power To Change It.

There May Be Some Doubt As To Who Are The Best People To Have Charge Of Children, But There Can Be No Doubt That Parents Are The Worst.

Civilization Is A Disease Produced By The Practice Of Building Societies With Rotten Material.

Modern Poverty Is Not The Poverty That Was Blest In The Sermon On The Mount.

Sermon On The Mount

We Are Not Taught To Think Decently On Sex Subjects, And Consequently We Have No Language For Them Except Indecent Language.

If We Women Were Particular About Men's Characters, We Should Never Get Married At All.

Newspaper : A Device Unable To Distinguish Between A Bicycle Accident And The Collapse Of Civilisation.

You Know, Tolstoy, Like Myself, Wasn't Taken In By Superstitions Like Science And Medicine.

My Religious Convictions And Scientific Views Cannot At Present Be More Specifically Defined Than As Those Of A Believer In Creative Revolution. I Desire That No Public Monument Or Work Of Art Or Inscription Or Sermon Or Ritual Service Commemorating Me Shall Suggest That I Accepted The Tenets Peculiar To Any Established Church Or Denomination Nor Take The Form Of A Cross Or Any Other Instrument Of Torture Or Symbol Of Blood Sacrifice.

The Longer I Live, The More Convinced Am I That This Planet Is Used By Other Planets As A Lunatic Asylum.

Lunatic Asylums

A Critic Recently Described Me, With Deadly Acuteness, As Having 'a Kindly Dislike Of My Fellow-creatures.' Perhaps Dread Would Have Been Nearer The Mark Than Dislike; For Man Is The Only Animal Of Which I Am Thoroughly And Cravenly Afraid.

We Are More Gullible And Superstitious Today Than We Were In The Middle Ages, And An Example Of Modern Credulity Is The Widespread Belief That The Earth Is Round. The Average Man Can Advance Not A Single Reason For Thinking That The Earth Is Round. He Merely Swallows This Theory Because There Is Something About It That Appeals To The Twentieth Century Mentality.

Of The Three Official Objects Of Our Prison System: Vengeance, Deterrence, And Reformation Of The Criminal, Only One Is Achieved; And That Is The One Which Is Nakedly Abominable.

The Unconscious Self Is The Real Genius. Your Breathing Goes Wrong The Moment Your Conscious Self Meddles With It.

Discussing Vaccination With A Doctor Is Like Discussing Vegetarianism With A Butcher.

Home Life Is No More Natural To Us Than A Cage Is Natural To A Cockatoo.

I Don't Believe In Morality . I'm A Disciple Of Bernard Shaw.

There Is Only One Belief That Can Rob Death Of Its Sting And The Grave Of Its Victory. For Without That You Cannot Be Born Again.

Which Painting In The National Gallery Would I Save If There Was A Fire? The One Nearest The Door Of Course.

I Find That The Moment I Let A Woman Make Friends With Me, She Becomes Jealous, Exacting, Suspicious, And A Damned Nuisance. I Find That The Moment I Let Myself Make Friends With A Woman, I Become Selfish And Tyrannical.

Socialism Is The Same As Communism, Only Better English.

Go On Writing Plays, My Boy, One Of These Days One Of These London Producers Will Go Into His Office And Say To His Secretary, "is There A Play From Shaw This Morning?" And When She Says, "no," He Will Say, "well, Then We'll Have To Start On The Rubbish." And That's Your Chance, My Boy.

The Technical History Of Modern Harmony Is A History Of Growth Of Toleration By The Human Ear Of Chords That At First Sounded Discordant And Senseless To The Main Body Of Contemporary Professional Musicians.

Altogether Too Many Sheep

The Pianoforte Is The Most Important Of All Musical Instruments; Its Invention Was To Music What The Invention Of Printing Was To Poetry.

Progress Is Impossible Without Change; And Those Who Cannot Change Their Minds Cannot Change Anything.

A Revolutionist Is One Who Desires To Discard The Existing Social Order And Try Another.

Happy Is The Man Who Can Make A Living By His Hobby

If There Is Anything I Hate In A Woman, It's Want Of Character.

When People Shake Their Heads Because We Are Living In A Restless Age, Ask Them How They Would Like To Life In A Stationary One, And Do Without Change

I'm An Atheist And I Thank God For It.

I Fought Linotype And Montype For Some Time Because It Would Not Justify As Well As Handset Could Be Made To Do; But At Last, As Always Happens, The Machine Outdid The Hand, And Got All The Best Types On It.

The Anti-vivisector Does Not Deny That Physiologists Must Make Experiments And Even Take Chances With New Methods. He Says That They Must Not Seek Knowledge By Criminal Methods, Just As They Must Not Make Money By Criminal Methods. He Does Not Object To Galileo Dropping Cannon Balls From The Top Of The Leaning Tower Of Pisa; But He Would Object To Shoving Off Two Dogs Or American Tourists.

Plato Long Ago Pointed Out The Importance Of Being Governed By Men With Sufficient Sense Of Responsibility And Comprehension Of Public Duties To Be Very Reluctant To Undertake The Work Of Governing.

Only Fools Repeat The Same Things Over And Over, Expecting To Obtain Different Results.

The Statesman Cannot Govern Without Stability Of Belief, True Or False.

Never Waste Jealousy On A Real Man: It Is The Imaginary Man That Supplants Us All In The Long Run.

A Gentleman Is One Who Puts More Into The World Than He Takes Out.

Personal Growth

The People Who Get On In This World Are The People Who Get Up And Look For The Circumstances They Want And If They Can't Find Them, Make Them.

People Are Always Blaming Their Circumstances For What They Are. I Don't Believe In Circumstances.

I Claim To Be A Conscientiously Immoral Writer.

We Should Have Had Socialism Already, But For The Socialists, Am Quite Willing To Drop The Name If Dropping It Will Help Me To Get The Thing.

Success Covers A Multitude Of Blunders.

Congratulations

We Throw The Whole Drudgery Of Creation On One Sex, And Then Imply That No Female Of Any Delicacy Would Initiate Any Effort In That Direction.

There Is, On The Whole, Nothing On Earth Intended For Innocent People So Horrible As A School. To Begin With, It Is A Prison. But In Some Respects More Cruel Than A Prison. In A Prison, For Instance, You Are Not Forced To Read Books Written By The Warders And The Governor. . . .in The Prison You Are Not Forced To Sit Listening To Turnkeys Discoursing Without Charm Or Interest On Subjects That They Don't Understand And Don't Care About, And Therefore Incapable Of Making You Understand Or Care About. In A Prison They May Torture Your Body; But They Do Not Torture Your Brains.

The Price Of Ability Does Not Depend On Merit But On Supply And Demand.

Being A Mother Means That Your Heart Is No Longer Yours; It Wanders Wherever Your Children Do

I Am Giving You Examples Of The Fact That This Creature Man, Who In His Own Selfish Affairs Is A Coward To The Backbone, Will Fight For An Idea Like A Hero. . . . I Tell You, Gentlemen, If You Can Shew A Man A Piece Of What He Now Calls God's Work To Do, And What He Will Later Call By Many New Names, You Can Make Him Entirely Reckless Of The Consequences To Himself Personally.

The English Have No Respect For Their Language, And Will Not Teach Their Children To Speak It.

People Expect Too Much Of One Year And Too Little Of Ten.

In Literature The Ambition Of The Novice Is To Acquire The Literary Language; The Struggle Of The Adept Is To Get Rid Of It.

That Older And Greater Church To Which I Belong: The Church Where The Oftener You Laugh The Better, Because By Laughter Only Can You Destroy Evil Without Malice

Even A Vortex Is A Vortex In Something. You Can't Have A Whirlpool Without Water; And You Can't Have A Vortex Without Gas, Or Molecules Or Atoms Or Ions Or Electrons Or Something, Not Nothing.

To A Professional Critic (i Have Been One Myself) Theatre-going Is The Curse Of Adam. The Play Is The Evil He Is Paid To Endure In The Sweat Of His Brow; And The Sooner It Is Over, The Better.

The Best Way To Get Your Point Across Is To Entertain.

All Professions Are Conspiracies Against The Laity.

I'm Sick Of All The Reasonable People: They See All The Reasons For Doing Nothing

As An Old Soldier, I Admit The Cowardice: It's As Universal As Seasickness, And Matters Just As Little.

Poverty Doesn't Bring Unhappiness; It Brings Degradation.

You Will Think Less Of The Art, When You Know The Artist

All This Struggling And Striving To Make The World Better Is A Great Mistake. Not That It's Wrong To Try To Improve The World If You Know How But Simply Because Struggling And Striving Are The Worst Possible Ways To Go About Doing Anything!

You Propound A Complicated Arithmetical Problem: Say Cubing A Number Containing Four Digits. Give Me A Slate And Half An Hour's Time, And I Can Produce A Wrong Answer.

Those Who Admire Modern Civilization Usually Identify It With The Steam Engine And The Electric Telegraph.

I Was Always Unlawful; I Broke The Law When I Was Born Because My Parents Weren't Married.

The Fact Is That The Intrinsic Worth Of The Book, Play Or Whatever The Author Is Trying To Sell Is The Least, Last Factor In The The Whole Transaction.

Only Where There Is Pecuniary Equality Can The Distinction Of Merit Stand Out.

A Pornographic Novelist Is One Who Exploits The Sexual Instinct As A Prostitute Does. A Legitimate Sex Novel Elucidates It Or Brings Out Its Poetry, Tragedy, Or Comedy.

Well, Sir, You Never Can Tell. That's A Principle In Life With Me, Sir, If You'll Excuse My Having Such A Thing.

The Jews Generally Give Value. They Make You Pay; But They Deliver The Goods. In My Experience The Men Who Want Something For Nothing Are Invariably Christians.

It's So Hard To Know What To Do When One Wishes Earnestly To Do Right.

The Writer Who Aims At Producing The Platitudes Which Are "not For An Age, But For All Time" Has His Reward In Being Unreadable Inall Ages.... The Man Who Writes About Himself And His Own Time Is The Only Sort Of Man Who Writes About All People And About All Time.

My Own Education Has Been Entirely Controversial: That Is Why I Know What I Am Writing About; And Appear Eccentric To Dogmatically Educated Old School Ties Whose Heads Are Stuffed With Obsolete Shibboleths.

Activity Is The Only Road To Knowledge.

Nothing Is More Dangerous Than A Poor Doctor: Not Even A Poor Employer Or A Poor Landlord.

Everything Happens To Everybody Sooner Or Later If There Is Time Enough.

Tradition Will Accustom People To Any Atrocity

[...] Any Fool Can Make A Discovery. Every Baby Has To Discover More In The First Years Of Its Life Than Roger Bacon Ever Discovered In His Laboratory.

When The Master Has Come To Do Everything Through The Slave, The Slave Becomes His Master, Since He Cannot Live Without Him.

Take Care To Get What You Like Or You Will Be Forced To Like What You Get.

Ireland And The Irish

How You Ought Properly To Spell 'fish' In English: 'goti' .

Every Drunken Skipper Trusts To Providence. But One Of The Ways Of Providence With Drunken Skippers Is To Run Them On The Rocks.

What's The Use Of Money If You Have To Earn It.

The Plain Working Truth Is That It Is Not Only Good For People To Be Shocked Occasionally, But Absolutely Necessary To The Progress Of Society That They Should Be Shocked Pretty Often.

Progress Of Society

Nothing Is Ever Done In This World Until Men Are Prepared To Kill One Another If It Is Not Done.

Both Optimists And Pessimists Contribute To Society. The Optimist Invents The Aeroplane, The Pessimist The Parachute.

You'll Never Have A Quiet World Till You Knock The Patriotism Out Of The Human Race.

If You Do Things Merely Because You Think Some Other Fool Expects You To Do Them, And He Expects You To Do Them Because He Thinks You Expect Him To Expect You To Do Them, It Will End In Everybody Doing What Nobody Wants To Do, Which Is In My Opinion A Silly State Of Things.

My Situation Is A Solemn One: Life Is Offered To Me On The Condition Of Eating Beefsteaks. But Death Is Better Than Cannibalism. My Will Contains Directions For My Funeral, Which Will Be Followed, Not By Mourning Coaches, But By Oxen, Sheep, Flocks Of Poultry, And A Small Traveling Aquarium Of Live Fish, All Wearing White Scarves In Honor Of The Man Who Perished Rather Than Eat His Fellow Creatures. It Will Be, Without The Exception Of Noah's Ark, The Most Remarkable Thing Of Its Kind Ever Seen.

If All The Churches Of Europe Closed Their Doors Until The Drums Ceased Rolling They Would Act As A Most Powerful Reminder That Though The Glory Of War Is A Famous And Ancient Glory, It Is Not The Final Glory Of God.

The Possibilities Are Numerous Once We Decide To Act And Not React.

Decision Making

Live In Contact With Dreams And You Will Get Something Of Their Charm: Live In Contact With Facts And You Will Get Something Of Their Brutality. I Wish I Could Find A Country To Live In Where The Facts Were Not Brutal And The Dreams Not Real.

The Educated Man Is A Greater Nuisance Than The Uneducated One.

When A Lion Meets Another With A Louder Roar, The First Lion Thinks The Last A Bore.

The Universal Regard For Money Is The One Hopeful Fact In Our Civilization. Money Is The Most Important Thing In The World. It Represents Health, Strength, Honor, Generosity And Beauty . . . . Not The Least Of Its Virtues Is That It Destroys Basic People As Certainly As It Fortifies And Dignifies Noble People.

If You Can’t Appreciate What You’ve Got, You’d Better Get What You Can Appreciate.

Never Forget That If You Leave Your Law To Judges And Your Religion To Bishops, You Will Presently Find Yourself Without Either Law Or Religion.

Finding Yourself

Deep Knowledge Is Not Knowledge Of The Thing Itself, But Knowledge Of A Thing Like The Thing. Then, You Gain Not One Knowledge, But Two Knowledges. Of The Thing. And Of The Original Thing With Is Like The Thing. Which Is The Barbarism Of The Privileged Class.

Worst Of All, There Is No Sign Of Any Relaxation Of Antisemitism. Logically It Has Nothing To Do With Fascism. But The Human Raceis Imitative Rather Than Logical; And As Fascism Spreads Antisemitism Spreads.

A Critic Is One Who Leaves No Turn Unstoned.

I Hope You Have Lost Your Good Looks, For While They Last Any Fool Can Adore You, And The Adoration Of Fools Is Bad For The Soul. No, Give Me A Ruined Complexion And A Lost Figure And Sixteen Chins On A Farmyard Of Crow's Feet And An Obvious Wig. Then You Shall See Me Coming Out Strong.

Do Not Do Unto Others As You Expect They Should Do Unto You. Their Tastes May Not Be The Same.

In Truth , Mankind Cannot Be Saved From Without, By Schoolmasters Or Any Other Sort Of Masters: It Can Only Be Lamed And Enslaved By Them. It Is Said That If You Wash A Cat It Will Never Again Wash Itself. This May Or May Not Be True : What Is Certain Is That If You Teach A Man Anything He Will Never Learn It; And If You Cure Him Of A Disease He Will Be Unable To Cure Himself The Next Time It Attacks Him.

I Object To Publishers: The One Service They Have Done Me Is To Teach Me To Do Without Them. They Combine Commercial Rascality With Artistic Touchiness And Pettishness, Without Being Either Good Business Men Or Fine Judges Of Literature.

Like All Young Men, You Greatly Exaggerate The Difference Between One Young Woman And Another.

It's A Dangerous Thing To Be Married Right Up To The Hilt, Like My Daughter's Husband. The Man Is At Home All Day, Like A Damned Soul In Hell.

You Must Not Suppose, Because I Am A Man Of Letters, That I Never Tried To Earn An Honest Living.

A Man Who Desires To Get Married Should Know Everything Or Nothing.

Importance Of Being Earnest

Woman Reduces Us All To The Common Denominator.

I Have Always Held The Religion Of Muhammad In High Estimation Because Of Its Wonderful Vitality. It Is The Only Religion Which Appears To Me To Possess That Assimilating Capability To The Changing Phase Of Existence Which Can Make Itself Appeal To Every Age... I Have Studied Him - The Wonderful Man, And In My Opinion Far From Being An Anti-christ He Must Be Called The Saviour Of Humanity.

I Want To Be Thoroughly Used Up When I Die, For The Harder I Work The More I Live. I Rejoice In Life For Its Own Sake.

Positive Thinking

It Is Assumed That The Woman Must Wait, Motionless, Until She Is Wooed. That Is How The Spider Waits For The Fly.

Of All The Anti-social Vested Interests The Worst Is The Vested Interest In Ill-health.

While We Have Prisons It Matters Little Which Of Us Occupy The Cells.

Effectiveness Of Assertion Is The Alpha And Omega Of Style.

Alpha And Omega

Titles Distinguish The Mediocre, Embarrass The Superior, And Are Disgraced By The Inferior.

Imprisonment, As It Exists Today, Is A Worse Crime Than Any Of Those Committed By Its Victims.

Golf Is Typical Capitalist Luncay.

If You Leave Your Art, The World Will Beat You Back To It. The World Has Not An Ambition Worth Sharing, Or A Prize Worth Handling.

You Use A Glass Mirror To See Your Face; You Use Works Of Art To See Your Soul.

I Enjoy Convalescence. It Is The Part That Makes The Illness Worth While.

The First Condition Of Progress Is The Removal Of Censorship.

No Diet Will Remove All The Fat From Your Body Because The Brain Is Entirely Fat. Without A Brain, You Might Look Good, But All You Could Do Is Run For Public Office.

I Hate The Poor And Look Forward Eagerly To Their Extermination.

Those Who Understand The Steam Engine And The Electric Telegraph Spend Their Lives In Trying To Replace Them With Something Better.

A Cigarette Is A Pinch Of Tobacco Rolled In Paper With Fire At One End And A Fool At The Other.

I'm One Of The Undeserving Poor: That's What I Am. Think Of What That Means To A Man. It Means That He's Up Agen Middle Class Morality All The Time.... What Is Middle Class Morality? Just An Excuse For Never Giving Me Anything.

I Tell You That As Long As I Can Conceive Something Better Than Myself I Cannot Be Easy Unless I Am Striving To Bring It Into Existence Or Clearing The Way For It.

If You Teach A Man Anything, He Will Never Learn.

If At Age 20 You Are Not A Communist Then You Have No Heart. If At Age 30 You Are Not A Capitalist Then You Have No Brains.

This Is The True Joy In Life: Being Used For A Purpose Recognized By Yourself As A Mighty One, Being A Force Of Nature Instead Of A Feverish, Selfish Little Clod Of Ailments And Grievances, Complaining That The World Will Not Devote Itself To Making You Happy. I Am Of The Opinion That My Life Belongs To The Whole Community And As Long As I Live, It Is My Privilege To Do For It What I Can. It Is A Sort Of Splendid Torch Which I Have Got Hold Of For The Moment And I Want To Make It Burn As Brightly As Possible Before Handing It On To Future Generations.

When You Find Something Funny Search It For Hidden Truth.

Woman's Happiness Begins With Her First Love And Ends About Then

The Criminal Law Is No Use To Decent People.

When I See That The Nineteenth Century Has Crowned The Idolatry Of Art With The Deification Of Love, So That Every Poet Is Supposed To Have Pierced To The Holy Of Holies When He Has Announced That Love Is The Supreme, Or The Enough, Or The All, I Feel That Art Was Safer In The Hands Of The Most Fanatical Of Cromwell's Major Generals Than It Will Be If Ever It Gets Into Mine.

There Is Nothing On Earth Intended For Innocent People So Horrible As A School.

The First Prison I Ever Saw Had Inscribed On It Cease To Do Evil: Learn To Do Well; But As The Inscription Was On The Outside, The Prisoners Could Not Read It.

In Your Salvation Shelter I Saw Poverty, Misery, Cold And Hunger. You Gave Them Bread And Treacle And Dreams Of Heaven. I Give From Thirty Shillings A Week To Twelve Thousand A Year. They Find Their Own Dreams; But I Look After The Drainage.

Morals Are A Luxury Of The Rich.

Marriage Is Popular Because It Combines The Maximum Of Temptation With The Maximum Of Opportunity.

You Sometimes Have To Answer A Woman According To Her Womanliness, Just As You Have To Answer A Fool According To His Folly.

The Great Advantage Of A Hotel Is That It Is A Refuge From Home Life.

The Nation's Morals Are Like Its Teeth: The More Decayed They Are The More It Hurts To Touch Them.

I Must ... Warn My Readers That My Attacks Are Directed Against Themselves, Not Against My Stage Figures.

Self-denial Is Not A Virtue; It Is Only The Effect Of Prudence On Rascality.

Gambling Promises The Poor What Property Performs For The Rich-something For Nothing.

The Domestic Career Is No More Natural To All Women Than The Military Career Is Natural To All Men.

The British Soldier Can Stand Up To Anything Except The British War Office.

British Soldiers

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