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When We Love Something It Is Of Value To Us, And When Something Is Of Value To Us We Spend Time With It, Time Enjoying It And Time Taking Care Of It.
-M. Scott Peck
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When We Love Something

M. Scott Peck
...
When We Love Something It Is Of Value To Us, And When Something Is Of Value To Us We Spend Time With It, Time Enjoying It And Time Taking Care Of It.

Understanding the Quote: "when we love something it is of value to us, and when..."

This quote by M. Scott Peck reflects deeply on the theme of love you. It connects to the universal human journey of purpose, motivation, and reflection. Often categorized under Love You, Care, Enjoy, the quote offers insight, emotional clarity, and intellectual inspiration to readers worldwide.

Whether you’re a student exploring new ideas, a leader trying to motivate your team, or someone seeking direction in life — this quote provides value. It resonates because it’s more than words — it’s a bridge between experience and wisdom. It shows how M. Scott Peck interprets life's core challenges and triumphs.

Lessons From the Quote

This quote teaches resilience and focus. It reminds readers that no matter where they stand in life, reflection and self-awareness lead to growth. Each word has meaning, and when studied, it becomes clear how impactful thoughtful language can be.

About M. Scott Peck

M. Scott Peck is celebrated for insightful thoughts on love you and care. Their legacy lives on through writings that guide, comfort, and inspire. Discover more on their profile page.

Actionable Takeaways

  • Reflect on how this quote applies to your current life path.
  • Share the message with someone who needs inspiration.
  • Write your thoughts on this quote in a journal or blog post.
  • Use it as a daily affirmation or reminder.

Closing Thoughts

Quotes like this endure because they capture universal truths. They comfort us in solitude and empower us in groups. Carry this quote forward — live by its wisdom, share its message, and keep its essence alive.

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Topic
Love You
Care
Enjoy
More From M. Scott Peck
Listen To Your Child Enough And You Will Come To Realize That He Or She Is Quite An Extraordinary Individual. And The More Extraordinary You Realize Your Child To Be The More You Will Be Willing To Listen. And The More You Will Learn.
Children
Realizing
Enough
Delaying Gratification Is A Process Of Scheduling The Pain And Pleasure Of Life In Such A Way As To Enhance The Pleasure By Meeting And Experiencing The Pain First And Getting It Over With. It Is The Only Decent Way To Live.
Pain
Procrastination
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By Far The Most Important Form Of Attention We Can Give Our Loved Ones Is Listening... True Listening Is Love In Action.
Giving
Listening
Important
The Denial Of Suffering Is, In Fact A Better Definition Of Illness Than Its Acceptance.
Acceptance
Suffering
Denial
We Cannot Even Let The Other Person Into Our Hearts Or Minds Unless We Empty Ourselves. We Can Truly Listen To Him Or Truly Hear Her Only Out Of Emptiness.
Heart
Mind
Emptiness
I've Had All Kinds Of Experiences With God In Terms Of Revelation Through A Still, Small Voice Or Dreams Or Coincidences.
God
Dream
Voice
The Time And The Quality Of The Time That Their Parents Devote To Them Indicate To Children The Degree To Which They Are Valued By Their Parents. . . . When Children Know That They Are Valued, When They Truly Feel Valued In The Deepest Parts Of Themselves, Then They Feel Valuable. This Knowledge Is Worth More Than Any Gold.
Children
Parent
Quality
I Am Dubious As To How Far We Can Move Toward Global Community-which Is The Only Way To Achieve International Peace-until We Learn The Basic Principles Of Community In Our Own Individual Lives And Personal Spheres Of Influence.
Moving
Community
Dubious
We Are Most Often In The Dark When We Are The Most Certain, And The Most Enlightened When We Are The Most Confused.
Inspirational
Confused
Dark
When I Am With A Group Of Human Beings Committed To Hanging In There Through Both The Agony And The Joy Of Community, I Have A Dim Sense That I Am Participating In A Phenomenon For Which There Is Only One Word...."glory."
Agony
Community
Joy
The Symptoms And The Illness Are Not The Same Thing. The Illness Exists Long Before The Symptoms. Rather Than Being The Illness, The Symptoms Are The Beginning Of Its Cure. The Fact That They Are Unwanted Makes Them All The More A Phenomenon Of Grace — A Gift Of God, A Message From The Unconscious.
Spiritual
Self
Long
If You Wish To Discern Either The Presence Or Absence Of Integrity, You Need To Ask Only One Question. What Is Missing? Has Anything Been Left Out?
Integrity
Missing
Wish
If We Seek To Be Loved - If We Expect To Be Loved - This Cannot Be Accomplished; We Will Be Dependent And Grasping Not Genuinely Loving.
Grasping
Accomplished
Dependent
All Human Interactions Are Opportunities Either To Learn Or To Teach.
Opportunity
Teach
Interaction
Often The Most Loving Thing We Can Do When A Friend Is In Pain Is To Share The Pain-to Be There Even When We Have Nothing To Offer Except Our Presence And Even When Being There Is Painful To Ourselves.
Pain
Compassion
Being There
Going Into The Unknown Is Invariably Frightening, But We Learn What Is Significantly New Only Through Adventures.
Adventure
Exploration
Frightening
I Can Remember Years Ago Sitting On My Bed And Suddenly Thinking, "i Am God."
God
Thinking
Years
Evil People Hate The Light Because It Reveals Themselves To Themselves. ... They Will Destroy The Light, The Goodness, The Love In Order To Avoid The Pain Of Self-awareness. ... [e]vil Is Laziness Carried To Its Ultimate, Extraordinary Extreme.
Truth
Pain
Hate
All My Life I Used To Wonder What I Would Become When I Grew Up. Then, About Seven Years Ago, I Realized That I Was Never Going To Grow Up--that Growing Is An Ever Ongoing Process.
Growing Up
Years
Ongoing
The Overall Purpose Of Human Communication Is - Or Should Be - Reconciliation. It Should Ultimately Serve To Lower Or Remove The Walls Of Misunderstanding Which Unduly Separate Us Human Beings, One From Another.
Wall
Communication
Purpose
It Is Not Easy For Us To Change. But It Is Possible And It Is Our Glory As Human Beings
Healing
Glory
Easy
Servant-leadership Is More Than A Concept, It Is A Fact. Any Great Leader, By Which I Also Mean An Ethical Leader Of Any Group, Will See Herself Or Himself As A Servant Of That Group And Will Act Accordingly.
Leadership
Mean
Groups
Courage Is Not The Absence Of Fear; It Is The Making Of Action In Spite Of Fear.
Inspiring
Courage
Fear
Everything That Happens In Life Is There To Aid Our Spiritual Growth.
Spiritual
Growth
Life Is
Integrity Is Never Painless.
Integrity
Painless
Idealists Are People Who Believe In The Potential Of Human Nature For Transformation. . . . The Most Essential Attribute Of Human Nature Is Its Mutability And Freedom From Instinct . . . It Is Always Within Our Power To Change Our Nature. So It Is Actually The Idealists Who Are On The Mark And The Realists Who Are Off Base.
Believe
People
Essentials
The Feeling Of Being Valuable - 'i Am A Valuable Person'- Is Essential To Mental Health And Is A Cornerstone Of Self-discipline.
Self
Discipline
Feelings
Although The Act Of Nurturing Another's Spiritual Growth Has The Effect Of Nurturing One's Own, A Major Characteristic Of Genuine Love Is That The Distinction Between Oneself And The Other Is Always Maintained And Preserved.
Love
Spiritual
Growth
I Have Learned Nothing In Twenty Years That Would Suggest That Evil People Can Be Rapidly Influenced By Any Means Other Than Raw Power. They Do Not Respond, At Least In The Short Run, To Either Gentle Kindness Or Any Form Of Spiritual Persuasion With Which I Am Familiar.
Running
Spiritual
Kindness
Life Is A Series Of Problems. Do We Want To Moan About Them Or Solve Them?
Motivational
Track
Want
But For The First Time, I Had A Religious Identity. I Had Come Home. And So I Called Myself A Zen Buddhist At The Age Of 18.
Religious
Buddhist
Home
God Wants Us To Become Himself Or Herself Or Itself. We Are Growing Toward Godhood. God Is The Goal Of Evolution.
God
Goal
Growing
When We Teach Ourselves And Our Children Discipline, We Are Teaching Them And Ourselves How To Suffer And Also How To Grow.
Children
Teaching
Discipline
When We Love Someone Our Love Becomes Demonstrable Or Real Only Through Our Exertion - Through The Fact That For That Someone (or For Ourself) We Take An Extra Step Or Walk An Extra Mile. Love Is Not Effortless. To The Contrary, Love Is Effortful.
Real
Love Is
Our Love
The Feeling Of Being Valuable Is A Cornerstone Of Self-discipline Because When You Consider Yourself Valuable You Will Take Care Of Yourself- Including Things Like Using Your Time Well. In This Way, Self-discipline Is Self-caring.
Love You
Caring
Self
As I Grow Through Love, So Grows My Joy, Ever More Present, Ever More Constant.
Joy
Constant
Grows
Let Me Simply State That It Is Wrong To Regard Any Other Human Being, A Priori, As An Object, Or An 'it.' This Is So Because Each And Every Human Being - You, Every Friend, Every Stranger, Every Foreigner - Is Precious.
Stranger
States
Let Me
With Total Discipline We Can Solve All Problems.
Discipline
Problem
Solve
Problems Do Not Go Away. They Must Be Worked Through Or Else They Remain, Forever A Barrier To The Growth And Development Of The Spirit.
Change
Forever
Growth
I Have A Very Full And Busy Life And Occasionally I Am Asked, Scotty, How Can You Do All That You Do? The Most Telling Reply I Can Give Is: Because I Spend At Least Two Hours A Day Doing Nothing.
Time
Stress
Two
What Does A Life Of Total Dedication To Truth Mean? It Means, First Of All, A Life Of Continuous And Never-ending Stringent Self-examination. We Know The World Only Through Our Relationship To It. Therefore, To Know The World, We Must Not Only Examine It But We Must Simultaneously Examine The Examiner.
Mean
Dedication
Self
Love Is Too Large, Too Deep Ever To Be Truly Understood Or Measured Or Limited Within The Framework Of Words.
Love Is
Framework
Too Deep
In And Through Community Lies The Salvation Of The World.
Lying
Community
World
Life Is Difficult. This Is A Great Truth, One Of The Greatest Truths. It Is A Great Truth Because Once We Truly See This Truth, We Transcend It. Once We Truly Know That Life Is Difficult-once We Truly Understand And Accept It-then Life Is No Longer Difficult. Because Once It Is Accepted, The Fact That Life Is Difficult No Longer Matters.
Spiritual
Encouragement
Truth
While I Generally Find That Great Myths Are Great Precisely Because They Represent And Embody Great Universal Truths, The Myth Of Romantic Love Is A Dreadful Lie. Perhaps It Is A Necessary Lie In That It Ensures The Survival Of The Falling-in-love Experience That Traps Us Into Marriage. But As A Psychiatrist I Weep In My Heart Almost Daily For The Ghastly Confusion And Suffering That This Myth Fosters. Millions Of People Waste Vast Amounts Of Energy Desperately And Futilely Attempting To Make The Reality Of Their Lives Conform To The Unreality Of The Myth.
Love
Lying
Fall
How Strange That We Should Ordinarily Feel Compelled To Hide Our Wounds When We Are All Wounded.
Strange
Should
Feels
Life Is Difficult. This Is A Great Truth, One Of The Greatest Truths. It Is A Great Truth Because Once We Truly See This Truth, We Transcend It.
Life Is
Truth Is
Road Less Traveled
From The Age Of Three On, As Far Back As I Remember, I Just Knew There Was A God Behind Everything.
Age
Three
Belief
Ultimately Love Is Everything.
Love
Love Is
Confusion
The More Effort We Make To Appreciate And Perceive Reality, The Larger And More Accurate Our Maps Will Be. But Many Do Not Want To Make This Effort.
Reality
Appreciate
Effort
Jesus Was Lonely And Sorrowful And Scared-an Unbelievably Real Person.
Lonely
Jesus
Real
Genuine Love Is Volitional Rather Than Emotional. The Person Who Truely Loves Does So Because Of A Decision To Love. This Person Has Made A Commitment To Be Loving Whether Or Not The Loving Feeling Is Present. ...conversely, It Is Not Only Possible But Necessary For A Loving Person To Avoid Acting On Feelings Of Love.
Commitment
Love Is
Emotional
Although I Was Raised In A Profoundly Secular Home, I Had A Belief, An Awareness Of God, From As Far Back As I Can Remember.
God
Home
Belief
Emotional Sickness Is Avoiding Reality At Any Cost. Emotional Health Is Facing Reality At Any Cost.
Motivational
Reality
Emotional
The Path To Holiness Lies Through Questioning Everything.
Lying
Grace
Holiness
We Must Be Willing To Fail And To Appreciate The Truth That Often "life Is Not A Problem To Be Solved, But A Mystery To Be Lived.
Life
Motivational
Change
To Heal Your Body, You Must First Heal Your Spirit.
Body
Firsts
Spirit
There Can Be No Vulnerability Without Risk; There Can Be No Community Without Vulnerability; There Can Be No Peace, And Ultimately No Life, Without Community.
Inspirational
Peace
Community
Since The Primary Motive Of The Evil Is Disguise, One Of The Places Evil People Are Most Likely To Be Found Is Within The Church. What Better Way To Conceal One's Evil From Oneself As Well As From Others Than To Be A Deacon Or Some Other Highly Visible Form Of Christian Within Our Culture
Christian
Evil People
Church
Commitment Is Inherent In Any Genuinely Loving Relationship.
Relationship
Money
Commitment
Problems Are The Cutting Edge That Distinguishes Between Success And Failure. Problems ... Create Our Courage And Wisdom.
Adversity
Cutting
Problem
Discipline, It Has Been Suggested, Is The Means Of Human Spiritual Evolution. What Provides The Motive, The Energy For Discipline? This Force I Believe To Be Love. I Define Love Thus: The Will To Extend One's Self For The Purpose Of Nurturing One's Own Or Another's Spiritual Growth.
Spiritual
Believe
Mean
The Life Of Wisdom Must Be A Life Of Contemplation Combined With Action.
Action
Contemplation
The Path Of Spiritual Growth Is A Path Of Lifelong Learning.
Spiritual
Growth
Path
Mental Health Is An Ongoing Process Of Dedication To Reality At All Costs
Reality
Dedication
Cost
Listening Well Is An Exercise Of Attention And By Necessity Hard Work. It Is Because They Do Not Realize This Or Because They Are Not Willing To Do The Work That Most People Do Not Listen Well.
Hard Work
Exercise
People
Love Is The Free Exercise Of Choice. Two People Love Each Other Only When They Are Quite Capable Of Living Without Each Other But Choose To Live With Each Other.
Cute Love
Best Love
Sweet Love
The Problem Of Unmet Expectations In Marriage Is Primarily A Problem Of Stereotyping. Each And Every Human Being On This Planet Is A Unique Person. Since Marriage Is Inevitably A Relationship Between Two Unique People, No One Marriage Is Going To Be Exactly Like Any Other. Yet We Tend To Wed With Explicit Visions Of What A “good” Marriage Ought To Be Like. Then We Suffer Enormously From Trying To Force The Relationship To Fit The Stereotype And From The Neurotic Guilt And Anger We Experience When We Fail To Pull It Off.
Unique
Two
People
Falling In Love Is Not An Act Of Will. It Is Not A Conscious Choice. No Matter How Open To Or Eager For It We May Be, The Experience May Still Elude Us. Contrarily, The Experience May Capture Us At Times When We Are Definitely Not Seeking It, When It Is Inconvenient And Undesirable.
Falling In Love
Love Is
Elude Us
An Unconscious, Gentle Process Whereby People Who Want To Be Loving Attempt To Be So By Telling Little White Lies, By Withholding Some Of The Truth About Themselves And Their Feelings In Order To Avoid Conflict. Pseudocommunity Is Conflict-avoiding; True Community Is Conflict-resolving.
Lying
Order
White
If You Are Determined Not To Risk Pain, Then You Must Do Without Many Things: Having Children, Getting Married, The Ecstasy Of Sex, The Hope Of Ambition, Friendship-all That Makes Life Alive, Meaningful And Significant.
Meaningful
Sex
Children
The Act Of Loving Is An Act Of Self-evolution Even When The Purpose Of The Act Is Someone Else's Growth.
Self
Growth
Purpose
We Cannot Solve Life's Problems Except By Solving Them.
Problem
Solve
Genuine Love Not Only Respects The Individuality Of The Other But Actually Cultivates It, Even At The Risk Of Separation Or Loss. The Ultimate Goal Of Life Remains The Spiritual Growth Of The Individual, The Solitary Journey To Peaks That Can Be Climbed Only Alone.
Spiritual
Loss
Journey
Some Catholics Have A Concept I Very Much Admire: The Sacrament Of The Present Moment. It Suggests That Every Moment Of Our Lives Is Sacred, And That We Should Make Of Each Moment A Sacrament. Were We To Do This We Would Think Of The Entire World As Diffused With Holiness. Wherever We Might Be Would Be A Holy Place For Us, And We Would See The Holy, Even Sainthood, In Everyone We Encounter.
Life
Thinking
Catholic
Community Is And Must Be Inclusive. The Great Enemy Of Community Is Exclusivity. Groups That Exclude Others Because They Are Poor Or Doubters Or Divorced Or Sinners Or Of Some Different Race Or Nationality Are Not Communities; They Are Cliques--actually Defensive Bastions Against Community.
Race
Community
Enemy
The Whole Course Of Human History May Depend On A Change Of Heart In One Solitary And Even Humble Individual - For It Is In The Solitary Mind And Soul Of The Individual That The Battle Between Good And Evil Is Waged And Ultimately Won Or Lost.
Change
Integrity
Heart
Abandon The Urge To Simplify Everything, To Look For Formulas And Easy Answers, And To Begin To Think Multidimensionally, To Glory In The Mystery And Paradoxes Of Life, Not To Be Dismayed By The Multitude Of Causes And Consequences That Are Inherent In Each Experience -- To Appreciate The Fact That Life Is Complex.
Life
Appreciation
Thinking
Nirvana Or Lasting Enlightenment Or True Spiritual Growth Can Be Achieved Only Through Persistent Exercise Of Real Love.
Love
Inspiring
Spiritual
We Know A Great Deal More About The Causes Of Physical Disease Than We Do About The Causes Of Physical Health.
Disease
Causes
Deals
Until You Value Yourself, You Won't Value Your Time. Until You Value Your Time, You Will Not Do Anything With It.
Inspirational
Funny
Motivational
Good Discipline Requires Time. When We Have No Time To Give Our Children, Or No Time That We Are Willing To Give, We Don't Even Observe Them Closely Enough To Become Aware Of When Their Need For Our Disciplinary Assistance Is Expressed Subtley.
Children
Discipline
Giving
Falling In Love Is Not An Extension Of One's Limits Or Boundaries; It Is A Partial And Temporary Collapse Of Them.
Love
Fall
Limits
One Extends One's Limits Only By Exceeding Them.
Writing
Limits
Love Always Requires Courage And Involves Risk.
Risk
Love Always
I Believe It Would Be Considerably Healthier For Us To Dare To Live Without A Reason For Many Things Than With Reasons That Are Simplistic.
Believe
Would Be
Reason
Problems Call Forth Our Courage And Our Wisdom; Indeed, They Create Our Courage And Wisdom.
Problem
Road Less Traveled
Cutting Edge
Community Is Another Such Phenomenon. Like Electricity, It Is Profoundly Lawful. Yet There Remains Something About It That Is Inherently Mysterious, Miraculous, Unfathomable. Thus There Is No Adequate One-sentence Definition Of Genuine Community. Community Is Something More Than The Sum Of Its Parts, Its Individual Members. What Is This "something More?" Even To Begin To Answer That, We Enter A Realm That Is Not So Much Abstract As Almost Mystical. It Is A Realm Where Words Are Never Fully Suitable And Language Itself Falls Short.
Fall
Community
Answers
The Great Awareness Comes Slowly, Piece By Piece. The Path Of Spiritual Growth Is A Path Of Lifelong Learning. The Experience Of Spiritual Power Is Basically A Joyful One.
Life
Happiness
God
The Difficulty We Have In Accepting Responsibility For Our Behavior Lies In The Desire To Avoid The Pain Of The Consequences Of That Behavior.
Pain
Lying
Responsibility
If We Know Exactly Where We're Going, Exactly How To Get There, And Exactly What We'll See Along The Way, We Won't Learn Anything.
Way
Knows
Ifs
We Cannot Solve A Problem By Saying, "it's Not My Problem." We Cannot Solve A Problem By Hoping That Someone Else Will Solve It For Us. I Can Solve A Problem Only When I Say, "this Is My Problem And It's Up To Me To Solve It."
Confusion
Problem
Solve
The Giving Up Of Personality Traits, Well-established Patterns Of Behavior, Ideologies, And Even Whole Life Styles...these Are Major Forms Of Giving Up That Are Required If One Is To Travel Very Far On The Journey Of Life.
Life
Giving Up
Journey
Not Only Do Self-love And Love Of Others Go Hand In Hand But Ultimately They Are Indistinguishable.
Self
Hands
And Love
The Only Real Security In Life Lies In Relishing Life's Insecurity.
Real
Lying
Insecurity
Love Is The Will To Extend One's Self For The Purpose Of Nurturing One's Own Or Another's Spiritual Growth... Love Is As Love Does. Love Is An Act Of Will -- Namely, Both An Intention And An Action. Will Also Implies Choice. We Do Not Have To Love. We Choose To Love.
Spiritual
Love Is
Self
Worship Is Yet Another Paradox Of The Religious Life: It Is Simultaneously The Greatest Duty And The Greatest Pleasure Of Faith. Worship Is The Act Of Truly Loving God. Believe In This Brilliant Being, This Magnificent "higher Power," Who Not Only Created Us But Nurtures Us With Care And Intelligence Beyond Our Imagination, And Obviously We Are Called To Worship Him.
Religious
Believe
Imagination
The Will To Grow Is, In Essence, The Same Phenomenon As Love. Genuinely Loving People Are, By Definition, Growing People.
Essence
People
Growing
There Is No Worse Bitterness Than To Reach The End Of Your Life And Realized You Have Not Lived.
Bitterness
Ends
It Is Our Task-our Essential, Central, Crucial Task-to Transform Ourselves From Mere Social Creatures Into Community Creatures.
Community
Essentials
Tasks
Human Beings Are Poor Examiners, Subject To Superstition, Bias, Prejudice, And A Profound Tendency To See What They Want To See Rather Than What Is Really There.
Profound
Prejudice
Want
How Strange That We Should Ordinarily Feel Compelled To Hide Our Wounds When We Are All Wounded! Community Requires The Ability To Expose Our Wounds And Weaknesses To Our Fellow Creatures. It Also Requires The Ability To Be Affected By The Wounds Of Others... But Even More Important Is The Love That Arises Among Us When We Share, Both Ways, Our Woundedness.
Community
Important
Weakness
Spiritually Evolved People, By Virtue Of Their Discipline, Mastery And Love, Are People Of Extraordinary Competence, And In Their Competence They Are Called On To Serve The World, And In Their Love They Answer The Call.
Discipline
People
And Love
The Quickest Way To Change Your Attitude Toward Pain Is To Accept The Fact That Everything That Happens To Us Has Been Designed For Our Spiritual Growth.
Change
Spiritual
Attitude
When We Cling, Often Forever, To Our Old Patterns Of Thinking And Behaving, We Fall To Negotiate Any Crisis, To Truly Grow Up, And To Experience The Joyful Sense Of Rebirth That Accompanies The Successful Transition Into Greater Maturity.
Growing Up
Fall
Successful
But I Already Saw No Great Difference Between The Psyche And Spirituality. To Amass Knowledge Without Becoming Wise Is Not My Idea Of Progress In Therapy.
Wise
Spiritual
Ideas
There Is No Virtue Inherent In Un-constructive Suffering.
Suffering
Virtue
Constructive
An Essential Part Of True Listening Is The Discipline Of Bracketing, The Temporary Giving Up Or Setting Aside Of One's Own Prejudices, Frames Of Reference And Desires So As To Experience As Far As Possible The Speaker's World From The Inside, Step In Inside His Or Her Shoes.
Giving Up
Shoes
Discipline
The Best Decision-makers Are Those Who Are Willing To Suffer The Most Over Their Decisions But Still Retain Their Ability To Be Decisive.
Decision
Suffering
Makers
America's Greatest Sin Is The Refusal To Delay Gratification.
America
Delay
Sin
Genuine Love Is Volitional Rather Than Emotional.
Love Is
Emotional
Genuine Love
The Principal Form That The Work Of Love Takes Is Attention. When We Love Another Person We Give Him Or Her Our Attention; We Attend To That Person's Growth.
Giving
Growth
Attention
The Truth Is That Our Finest Moments Are Most Likely To Occur When We Are Feeling Deeply Uncomfortable, Unhappy, Or Unfulfilled. For It Is Only In Such Moments, Propelled By Our Discomfort, That We Are Likely To Step Out Of Our Ruts And Start Searching For Different Ways Or Truer Answers.
Inspirational
Happiness
Spiritual
If We Want To Be Heard We Must Speak In A Language The Listener Can Understand And On A Level At Which The Listener Is Capable Of Operating.
Levels
Want
Language
Most Do Not Fully See This Truth That Life Is Difficult. Instead They Moan More Or Less Incessantly, Noisily Or Subtly, About The Enormity Of Their Problems, Their Burdens, And Their Difficulties As If Life Were Generally Easy, As If Life Should Be Easy. They Voice Their Belief, Noisily Or Subtly, That Their Difficulties Represent A Unique Kind Of Affliction That Should Not Be And That Has Somehow Been Especially Visited Upon Them, Or Else Upon Their Families, Their Tribe, Their Class, Their Nation, Their Race Or Even Their Species, And Not Upon Others.
Life
Philosophical
Unique
Community [is] A Group Of Individuals Who Have Learned How To Communicate Honestly With Each Other, Whose Relationships Go Deeper Than Their Masks Of Composure, And Who Have Developed Some Significant Commitment To "rejoice Together, Mourn Together," And To "delight In Each Other, Make Others' Conditions Our Own.
Commitment
Community
Together
Whenever We Seek To Avoid The Responsibility For Our Own Behavior, We Do So By Attempting To Give That Responsibility To Some Other Individual Or Organization Or Entity. But This Means We Then Give Away Our Power To That Entity.
Mean
Responsibility
Organization
When We Avoid The Legitimate Suffering That Results From Dealing With Problems, We Also Avoid The Growth That Problems Demand From Us.
Spiritual
Growth
Suffering
I Guess If You Want To Know One Single Thing I'm About, It's That I'm Against Easy Answers.
Easy Answers
Want
Ifs
When We Love Something It Is Of Value To Us, And When Something Is Of Value To Us We Spend Time With It, Time Enjoying It And Time Taking Care Of It.
Love You
Care
Enjoy
In Thinking About Miracles, I Believe That Our Frame Of Reference Has Been Too Dramatic. We Have Been Looking For The Burning Bush, The Parting Of The Sea, The Bellowing Voice From Heaven. Instead We Should Be Looking At The Ordinary Day-to-day Events In Our Lives For Evidence Of The Miraculous, Maintaining At The Same Time A Scientific Orientation.
Believe
Thinking
Ordinary Days
I Have Said I Have Met Satan, And This Is True. But It Is Not Tangible. It No More Has Horns, Hooves And A Forked Tail Than God Has A Long White Beard. Even The Name, Satan, Is Just A Name We Have Given To Something Basically Nameless.
Fear
Names
White
Whenever We Think Of Ourselves As Doing Something For Someone Else, We Are In Some Way Denying Our Own Responsibility. Whatever We Do Is Done Because We Choose To Do It, And We Make That Choice Because It Is The One That Satisfies Us The Most.
Responsibility
Thinking
Choices
I Define Love Thus: The Will To Extend One's Self For The Purpose Of Nurturing One's Own Or Another's Spiritual Growth.
Love
Relationship
Spiritual
Life Is Complex. Each One Of Us Must Make His Own Path Through Life. There Are No Self-help Manuals, No Formulas, No Easy Answers. The Right Road For One Is The Wrong Road For Another...the Journey Of Life Is Not Paved In Blacktop; It Is Not Brightly Lit, And It Has No Road Signs. It Is A Rocky Path Through The Wilderness.
Journey
Self
Answers
True Love Is Not A Feeling By Which We Are Overwhelmed. It Is A Committed, Thoughtful Decision.
Thoughtful
Love Is
Decision
We Cannot Be A Source For Strength Unless We Nurture Our Own Strength.
Source
Nurture
There Is No Act Of Love That Is Not An Act Of Work Or Courage. No Exceptions.
Acts Of Love
Exception
Teach Us To Number Our Days Aright.
Numbers
Teach
I Make No Distinction Between The Mind And The Spirit, And Therefore No Distinction Between The Process Of Achieving Spiritual Growth And Achieving Mental Growth. They Are One And The Same.
Spiritual
Growth
Mind
Since [narcissists] Deep Down, Feel Themselves To Be Faultless, It Is Inevitable That When They Are In Conflict With The World They Will Invariably Perceive The Conflict As The World's Fault. Since They Must Deny Their Own Badness, They Must Perceive Others As Bad. They Project Their Own Evil Onto The World. They Never Think Of Themselves As Evil, On The Other Hand, They Consequently See Much Evil In Others.
Thinking
Hands
Evil
Discipline Is Wisdom And Vice Versa.
Inspirational
Discipline
Vices
It Is Only Because Of Problems That We Grow Mentally And Spiritually.
Life
Growing Up
Problem
Discipline Is The Basic Set Of Tools We Require To Solve Life’s Problems. Without Discipline We Can Solve Nothing. With Only Some Discipline We Can Solve Only Some Problems. With Total Discipline We Can Solve All Problems.
Discipline
Tools
Problem
The Major Threats To Our Survival No Longer Stem From Nature Without But From Our Own Human Nature Within. It Is Our Carelessness, Our Hostilities, Our Selfishness And Pride And Willful Ignorance That Endanger The World.
Ignorance
Pride
Evil
If Your Goal Is To Avoid Pain And Escape Suffering, I Would Not Advise You To Seek Higher Levels Of Consciousness Or Spiritual Evolution.
Spiritual
Pain
Goal
We Skim Over The Surface Thoughtlessly. But We Must Acknowledge That Thinking Well Is A Time-consuming Process. We Can't Expect Instant Results. We Have To Slow Down A Bit, And Take The Time To Contemplate, Meditate, And Even Pray. It Is The Only Route To A More Meaningful And Efficient Existence.
Meaningful
Thinking
Praying
What People Get Admired And Appreciated For In Community Are Their Soft Skills: Their Sense Of Humor And Timing, Their Ability To Listen, Their Courage And Honesty, Their Capacity For Empathy.
Honesty
Skills
People
You Cannot Truly Listen To Anyone And Do Anything Else At The Same Time.
Inspirational
Time
Communication
Share Our Similarities, Celebrate Our Differences.
Soulmate
Acceptance
Differences
To Be Free People We Must Assume Total Responsibility For Ourselves, But In Doing So Must Possess The Capacity To Reject Responsibility That Is Not Truly Ours. To Be Organized And Efficient, To Live Wisely, We Must Daily Delay Gratification And Keep An Eye On The Future; Yet To Live Joyously We Must Also Possess The Capacity, When It Is Not Destructive, To Live In The Present And Act Spontaneously. In Other Words, Discipline Itself Must Be Disciplined. The Type Of Discipline Required To Discipline Discipline Is What I Call Balancing.
Eye
Responsibility
Discipline
As Benjamin Franklin Said, 'those Things That Hurt, Instruct.' It Is For This Reason That Wise People Learn Not To Dread But Actually To Welcome Problems And Actually To Welcome The Pain Of Problems.
Wise
Spiritual
Hurt
Doubt Is Often The Beginning Of Wisdom.
Inspirational
Doubt
When You Consider Yourself Valuable You Will Take Care Of Yourself In All Ways That Are Necessary.
Care
Way
Valuable
Since True Listening Involves A Setting Aside Of The Self, It Also Temporarily Involves A Total Acceptance Of The Others. Sensing This Acceptance, The Speaker Will Feel Less And Less Vulnerable, And More And More Inclined To Open Up The Inner Recesses Of His Or Her Mind To The Listener. As This Happens, Speaker And Listener Begin To Appreciate Each Other More And More, And The Dance Of Love Is Begun Again.
Acceptance
Love Is
Listening To Others
If We Deny Our Anger, Our Pain, Our Ambition, Or Our Goodness, We Will Suffer.
Pain
Ambition
Suffering
It Is In The Whole Process Of Meeting And Solving Problems That Life Has Meaning. Problems Are The Cutting Edge That Distinguishes Between Success And Failure. Problems Call Forth Our Courage And Our Wisdom; Indeed, They Create Our Courage And Our Wisdom. It Is Only Because Of Problems That We Grow Mentally And Spiritually. It Is Through The Pain Of Confronting And Resolving Problems That We Learn.
Pain
Adversity
Cutting
The Key To Community Is The Acceptance, In Fact The Celebration Of Our Individual And Cultural Differences. It Is Also The Key To World Peace
Acceptance
Keys
Differences
Children Will, In My Dream, Be Taught That Laziness And Narcissism Are At The Very Root Of Human Evil, And Why This Is So. . . . They Will Come To Know That The Natural Tendency Of The Individual In A Group Is To Forfeit His Or Her Ethical Judgment To The Leader, And That This Tendency Should Be Resisted. And They Will Finally See It As Each Individual's Responsibility To Continually Examine Himself Or Herself For Laziness And Narcissism And Then To Purify Themselves Accordingly.
Dream
Children
Responsibility
I Gave Examples From My Clinical Practice Of How Love Was Not Wholly A Thought Or Feeling. I Told Of How That Very Evening There Would Be Some Man Sitting At A Bar In The Local Village, Crying Into His Beer And Sputtering To The Bartender How Much He Loved His Wife And Children While At The Same Time He Was Wasting His Family's Money And Depriving Them Of His Attention. We Recounted How This Man Was Thinking Love And Feeling Love--were They Not Real Tears In His Eyes?--but He Was Not In Truth Behaving With Love.
Love
Children
Real
Real Love Is A Permanently Self-enlarging Experience.
Love
Relationship
Soulmate
God Creates Each Soul Differently, So That When All The Mud Is Finally Cleared Away, His Light Will Shine Through It In A Beautiful, Colorful, Totally New Pattern.
Beautiful
Light
Shining
Our View Of Reality Is Like A Map With Which To Negotiate The Terrain Of Life. If The Map Is True And Accurate, We Will Generally Know How To Get There. If The Map Is False And Inaccurate, We Generally Will Be Lost.
Reality
Views
Maps
When Any Institution Becomes Large And Compartmentalized, With Departments And Subdepartments, Then The Conscience Of The Institution Will Often Become So Fragmented And Diluted As To Be Virtually Nonexistent, And The Organization Becomes Inherently Evil.
Organization
Evil
Institutions
Do What You Feel Called To Do, But Also Be Prepared To Accept That You Don't Necessarily Know What You're Going To Learn. Be Willing To Be Surprised By Forces Beyond Your Control, And Realize That A Major Learning On The Journey Is The Art Of Surrender.
Art
Journey
Realizing
Consciousness And Healing To Proceed Very Far Through The Desert, You Must Be Willing To Meet Existential Suffering And Work It Through. In Order To Do This, The Attitude Toward Pain Has To Change. This Happens When We Accept The Fact That Everything That Happens To Us Has Been Designed For Our Spiritual Growth.
Spiritual
Pain
Attitude
A Discussion Becomes Destructive When It Begins To Generate More Heat Than Light.
Light
Heat
Discussion
Examination Of The World Without Is Never As Personally Painful As Examination Of The World Within.
World
Examination
Painful
A Life Of Total Dedication To The Truth Also Means A Life Of Willingness To Be Personally Challenged.
Mean
Dedication
Willingness
Sickness Begets Chaos, Which, Through Hard Work And A Touch Of Grace, Leads To Growth And Resurrection.
Hard Work
Grace
Growth
Consciousness Is The Foundation Of All Thinking; And Thinking Is The Foundation Of All Consciousness.
Thinking
Foundation
Consciousness
Self Examination Is The Key To Insight, Which Is The Key To Wisdom
Healing
Keys
Self
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