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If We Want To Be Heard We Must Speak In A Language The Listener Can Understand And On A Level At Which The Listener Is Capable Of Operating.
-M. Scott Peck
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If We Want To

M. Scott Peck
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If We Want To Be Heard We Must Speak In A Language The Listener Can Understand And On A Level At Which The Listener Is Capable Of Operating.

Understanding the Quote: "if we want to be heard we must speak in a language..."

This quote by M. Scott Peck reflects deeply on the theme of levels. It connects to the universal human journey of purpose, motivation, and reflection. Often categorized under Levels, Want, Language, the quote offers insight, emotional clarity, and intellectual inspiration to readers worldwide.

Whether you’re a student exploring new ideas, a leader trying to motivate your team, or someone seeking direction in life — this quote provides value. It resonates because it’s more than words — it’s a bridge between experience and wisdom. It shows how M. Scott Peck interprets life's core challenges and triumphs.

Lessons From the Quote

This quote teaches resilience and focus. It reminds readers that no matter where they stand in life, reflection and self-awareness lead to growth. Each word has meaning, and when studied, it becomes clear how impactful thoughtful language can be.

About M. Scott Peck

M. Scott Peck is celebrated for insightful thoughts on levels and want. Their legacy lives on through writings that guide, comfort, and inspire. Discover more on their profile page.

Actionable Takeaways

  • Reflect on how this quote applies to your current life path.
  • Share the message with someone who needs inspiration.
  • Write your thoughts on this quote in a journal or blog post.
  • Use it as a daily affirmation or reminder.

Closing Thoughts

Quotes like this endure because they capture universal truths. They comfort us in solitude and empower us in groups. Carry this quote forward — live by its wisdom, share its message, and keep its essence alive.

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Levels
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Life Is Difficult. This Is A Great Truth, One Of The Greatest Truths. It Is A Great Truth Because Once We Truly See This Truth, We Transcend It. Once We Truly Know That Life Is Difficult-once We Truly Understand And Accept It-then Life Is No Longer Difficult. Because Once It Is Accepted, The Fact That Life Is Difficult No Longer Matters.
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All Human Interactions Are Opportunities Either To Learn Or To Teach.
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God Wants Us To Become Himself Or Herself Or Itself. We Are Growing Toward Godhood. God Is The Goal Of Evolution.
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The Feeling Of Being Valuable - 'i Am A Valuable Person'- Is Essential To Mental Health And Is A Cornerstone Of Self-discipline.
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Not Only Do Self-love And Love Of Others Go Hand In Hand But Ultimately They Are Indistinguishable.
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If We Seek To Be Loved - If We Expect To Be Loved - This Cannot Be Accomplished; We Will Be Dependent And Grasping Not Genuinely Loving.
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Some Catholics Have A Concept I Very Much Admire: The Sacrament Of The Present Moment. It Suggests That Every Moment Of Our Lives Is Sacred, And That We Should Make Of Each Moment A Sacrament. Were We To Do This We Would Think Of The Entire World As Diffused With Holiness. Wherever We Might Be Would Be A Holy Place For Us, And We Would See The Holy, Even Sainthood, In Everyone We Encounter.
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Since [narcissists] Deep Down, Feel Themselves To Be Faultless, It Is Inevitable That When They Are In Conflict With The World They Will Invariably Perceive The Conflict As The World's Fault. Since They Must Deny Their Own Badness, They Must Perceive Others As Bad. They Project Their Own Evil Onto The World. They Never Think Of Themselves As Evil, On The Other Hand, They Consequently See Much Evil In Others.
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A Discussion Becomes Destructive When It Begins To Generate More Heat Than Light.
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Everything That Happens In Life Is There To Aid Our Spiritual Growth.
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Life Is Complex. Each One Of Us Must Make His Own Path Through Life. There Are No Self-help Manuals, No Formulas, No Easy Answers. The Right Road For One Is The Wrong Road For Another...the Journey Of Life Is Not Paved In Blacktop; It Is Not Brightly Lit, And It Has No Road Signs. It Is A Rocky Path Through The Wilderness.
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Doubt Is Often The Beginning Of Wisdom.
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The Truth Is That Our Finest Moments Are Most Likely To Occur When We Are Feeling Deeply Uncomfortable, Unhappy, Or Unfulfilled. For It Is Only In Such Moments, Propelled By Our Discomfort, That We Are Likely To Step Out Of Our Ruts And Start Searching For Different Ways Or Truer Answers.
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Delaying Gratification Is A Process Of Scheduling The Pain And Pleasure Of Life In Such A Way As To Enhance The Pleasure By Meeting And Experiencing The Pain First And Getting It Over With. It Is The Only Decent Way To Live.
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While I Generally Find That Great Myths Are Great Precisely Because They Represent And Embody Great Universal Truths, The Myth Of Romantic Love Is A Dreadful Lie. Perhaps It Is A Necessary Lie In That It Ensures The Survival Of The Falling-in-love Experience That Traps Us Into Marriage. But As A Psychiatrist I Weep In My Heart Almost Daily For The Ghastly Confusion And Suffering That This Myth Fosters. Millions Of People Waste Vast Amounts Of Energy Desperately And Futilely Attempting To Make The Reality Of Their Lives Conform To The Unreality Of The Myth.
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Worship Is Yet Another Paradox Of The Religious Life: It Is Simultaneously The Greatest Duty And The Greatest Pleasure Of Faith. Worship Is The Act Of Truly Loving God. Believe In This Brilliant Being, This Magnificent "higher Power," Who Not Only Created Us But Nurtures Us With Care And Intelligence Beyond Our Imagination, And Obviously We Are Called To Worship Him.
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The Time And The Quality Of The Time That Their Parents Devote To Them Indicate To Children The Degree To Which They Are Valued By Their Parents. . . . When Children Know That They Are Valued, When They Truly Feel Valued In The Deepest Parts Of Themselves, Then They Feel Valuable. This Knowledge Is Worth More Than Any Gold.
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We Cannot Solve A Problem By Saying, "it's Not My Problem." We Cannot Solve A Problem By Hoping That Someone Else Will Solve It For Us. I Can Solve A Problem Only When I Say, "this Is My Problem And It's Up To Me To Solve It."
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If You Are Determined Not To Risk Pain, Then You Must Do Without Many Things: Having Children, Getting Married, The Ecstasy Of Sex, The Hope Of Ambition, Friendship-all That Makes Life Alive, Meaningful And Significant.
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Although I Was Raised In A Profoundly Secular Home, I Had A Belief, An Awareness Of God, From As Far Back As I Can Remember.
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I Am Dubious As To How Far We Can Move Toward Global Community-which Is The Only Way To Achieve International Peace-until We Learn The Basic Principles Of Community In Our Own Individual Lives And Personal Spheres Of Influence.
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When We Cling, Often Forever, To Our Old Patterns Of Thinking And Behaving, We Fall To Negotiate Any Crisis, To Truly Grow Up, And To Experience The Joyful Sense Of Rebirth That Accompanies The Successful Transition Into Greater Maturity.
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When I Am With A Group Of Human Beings Committed To Hanging In There Through Both The Agony And The Joy Of Community, I Have A Dim Sense That I Am Participating In A Phenomenon For Which There Is Only One Word...."glory."
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When You Consider Yourself Valuable You Will Take Care Of Yourself In All Ways That Are Necessary.
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Love Is Too Large, Too Deep Ever To Be Truly Understood Or Measured Or Limited Within The Framework Of Words.
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We Skim Over The Surface Thoughtlessly. But We Must Acknowledge That Thinking Well Is A Time-consuming Process. We Can't Expect Instant Results. We Have To Slow Down A Bit, And Take The Time To Contemplate, Meditate, And Even Pray. It Is The Only Route To A More Meaningful And Efficient Existence.
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Until You Value Yourself, You Won't Value Your Time. Until You Value Your Time, You Will Not Do Anything With It.
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It Is In The Whole Process Of Meeting And Solving Problems That Life Has Meaning. Problems Are The Cutting Edge That Distinguishes Between Success And Failure. Problems Call Forth Our Courage And Our Wisdom; Indeed, They Create Our Courage And Our Wisdom. It Is Only Because Of Problems That We Grow Mentally And Spiritually. It Is Through The Pain Of Confronting And Resolving Problems That We Learn.
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An Unconscious, Gentle Process Whereby People Who Want To Be Loving Attempt To Be So By Telling Little White Lies, By Withholding Some Of The Truth About Themselves And Their Feelings In Order To Avoid Conflict. Pseudocommunity Is Conflict-avoiding; True Community Is Conflict-resolving.
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The Feeling Of Being Valuable Is A Cornerstone Of Self-discipline Because When You Consider Yourself Valuable You Will Take Care Of Yourself- Including Things Like Using Your Time Well. In This Way, Self-discipline Is Self-caring.
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Servant-leadership Is More Than A Concept, It Is A Fact. Any Great Leader, By Which I Also Mean An Ethical Leader Of Any Group, Will See Herself Or Himself As A Servant Of That Group And Will Act Accordingly.
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Listen To Your Child Enough And You Will Come To Realize That He Or She Is Quite An Extraordinary Individual. And The More Extraordinary You Realize Your Child To Be The More You Will Be Willing To Listen. And The More You Will Learn.
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All My Life I Used To Wonder What I Would Become When I Grew Up. Then, About Seven Years Ago, I Realized That I Was Never Going To Grow Up--that Growing Is An Ever Ongoing Process.
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I Have Said I Have Met Satan, And This Is True. But It Is Not Tangible. It No More Has Horns, Hooves And A Forked Tail Than God Has A Long White Beard. Even The Name, Satan, Is Just A Name We Have Given To Something Basically Nameless.
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What People Get Admired And Appreciated For In Community Are Their Soft Skills: Their Sense Of Humor And Timing, Their Ability To Listen, Their Courage And Honesty, Their Capacity For Empathy.
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Evil People Hate The Light Because It Reveals Themselves To Themselves. ... They Will Destroy The Light, The Goodness, The Love In Order To Avoid The Pain Of Self-awareness. ... [e]vil Is Laziness Carried To Its Ultimate, Extraordinary Extreme.
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Most Do Not Fully See This Truth That Life Is Difficult. Instead They Moan More Or Less Incessantly, Noisily Or Subtly, About The Enormity Of Their Problems, Their Burdens, And Their Difficulties As If Life Were Generally Easy, As If Life Should Be Easy. They Voice Their Belief, Noisily Or Subtly, That Their Difficulties Represent A Unique Kind Of Affliction That Should Not Be And That Has Somehow Been Especially Visited Upon Them, Or Else Upon Their Families, Their Tribe, Their Class, Their Nation, Their Race Or Even Their Species, And Not Upon Others.
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To Heal Your Body, You Must First Heal Your Spirit.
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Sickness Begets Chaos, Which, Through Hard Work And A Touch Of Grace, Leads To Growth And Resurrection.
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God Creates Each Soul Differently, So That When All The Mud Is Finally Cleared Away, His Light Will Shine Through It In A Beautiful, Colorful, Totally New Pattern.
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Community Is And Must Be Inclusive. The Great Enemy Of Community Is Exclusivity. Groups That Exclude Others Because They Are Poor Or Doubters Or Divorced Or Sinners Or Of Some Different Race Or Nationality Are Not Communities; They Are Cliques--actually Defensive Bastions Against Community.
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As Benjamin Franklin Said, 'those Things That Hurt, Instruct.' It Is For This Reason That Wise People Learn Not To Dread But Actually To Welcome Problems And Actually To Welcome The Pain Of Problems.
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Children
Teaching
Discipline
Genuine Love Not Only Respects The Individuality Of The Other But Actually Cultivates It, Even At The Risk Of Separation Or Loss. The Ultimate Goal Of Life Remains The Spiritual Growth Of The Individual, The Solitary Journey To Peaks That Can Be Climbed Only Alone.
Spiritual
Loss
Journey
Love Is The Will To Extend One's Self For The Purpose Of Nurturing One's Own Or Another's Spiritual Growth... Love Is As Love Does. Love Is An Act Of Will -- Namely, Both An Intention And An Action. Will Also Implies Choice. We Do Not Have To Love. We Choose To Love.
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Self
When We Love Something It Is Of Value To Us, And When Something Is Of Value To Us We Spend Time With It, Time Enjoying It And Time Taking Care Of It.
Love You
Care
Enjoy
Emotional Sickness Is Avoiding Reality At Any Cost. Emotional Health Is Facing Reality At Any Cost.
Motivational
Reality
Emotional
If Your Goal Is To Avoid Pain And Escape Suffering, I Would Not Advise You To Seek Higher Levels Of Consciousness Or Spiritual Evolution.
Spiritual
Pain
Goal
Life Is Difficult. This Is A Great Truth, One Of The Greatest Truths. It Is A Great Truth Because Once We Truly See This Truth, We Transcend It.
Life Is
Truth Is
Road Less Traveled
The More Effort We Make To Appreciate And Perceive Reality, The Larger And More Accurate Our Maps Will Be. But Many Do Not Want To Make This Effort.
Reality
Appreciate
Effort
When We Avoid The Legitimate Suffering That Results From Dealing With Problems, We Also Avoid The Growth That Problems Demand From Us.
Spiritual
Growth
Suffering
The Best Decision-makers Are Those Who Are Willing To Suffer The Most Over Their Decisions But Still Retain Their Ability To Be Decisive.
Decision
Suffering
Makers
Children Will, In My Dream, Be Taught That Laziness And Narcissism Are At The Very Root Of Human Evil, And Why This Is So. . . . They Will Come To Know That The Natural Tendency Of The Individual In A Group Is To Forfeit His Or Her Ethical Judgment To The Leader, And That This Tendency Should Be Resisted. And They Will Finally See It As Each Individual's Responsibility To Continually Examine Himself Or Herself For Laziness And Narcissism And Then To Purify Themselves Accordingly.
Dream
Children
Responsibility
Discipline Is Wisdom And Vice Versa.
Inspirational
Discipline
Vices
Love Always Requires Courage And Involves Risk.
Risk
Love Always
The Problem Of Unmet Expectations In Marriage Is Primarily A Problem Of Stereotyping. Each And Every Human Being On This Planet Is A Unique Person. Since Marriage Is Inevitably A Relationship Between Two Unique People, No One Marriage Is Going To Be Exactly Like Any Other. Yet We Tend To Wed With Explicit Visions Of What A “good” Marriage Ought To Be Like. Then We Suffer Enormously From Trying To Force The Relationship To Fit The Stereotype And From The Neurotic Guilt And Anger We Experience When We Fail To Pull It Off.
Unique
Two
People
In Thinking About Miracles, I Believe That Our Frame Of Reference Has Been Too Dramatic. We Have Been Looking For The Burning Bush, The Parting Of The Sea, The Bellowing Voice From Heaven. Instead We Should Be Looking At The Ordinary Day-to-day Events In Our Lives For Evidence Of The Miraculous, Maintaining At The Same Time A Scientific Orientation.
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Thinking
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Life Is A Series Of Problems. Do We Want To Moan About Them Or Solve Them?
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Track
Want
It Is Not Easy For Us To Change. But It Is Possible And It Is Our Glory As Human Beings
Healing
Glory
Easy
We Cannot Even Let The Other Person Into Our Hearts Or Minds Unless We Empty Ourselves. We Can Truly Listen To Him Or Truly Hear Her Only Out Of Emptiness.
Heart
Mind
Emptiness
The Great Awareness Comes Slowly, Piece By Piece. The Path Of Spiritual Growth Is A Path Of Lifelong Learning. The Experience Of Spiritual Power Is Basically A Joyful One.
Life
Happiness
God
The Major Threats To Our Survival No Longer Stem From Nature Without But From Our Own Human Nature Within. It Is Our Carelessness, Our Hostilities, Our Selfishness And Pride And Willful Ignorance That Endanger The World.
Ignorance
Pride
Evil
Jesus Was Lonely And Sorrowful And Scared-an Unbelievably Real Person.
Lonely
Jesus
Real
An Essential Part Of True Listening Is The Discipline Of Bracketing, The Temporary Giving Up Or Setting Aside Of One's Own Prejudices, Frames Of Reference And Desires So As To Experience As Far As Possible The Speaker's World From The Inside, Step In Inside His Or Her Shoes.
Giving Up
Shoes
Discipline
Spiritually Evolved People, By Virtue Of Their Discipline, Mastery And Love, Are People Of Extraordinary Competence, And In Their Competence They Are Called On To Serve The World, And In Their Love They Answer The Call.
Discipline
People
And Love
Consciousness Is The Foundation Of All Thinking; And Thinking Is The Foundation Of All Consciousness.
Thinking
Foundation
Consciousness
Abandon The Urge To Simplify Everything, To Look For Formulas And Easy Answers, And To Begin To Think Multidimensionally, To Glory In The Mystery And Paradoxes Of Life, Not To Be Dismayed By The Multitude Of Causes And Consequences That Are Inherent In Each Experience -- To Appreciate The Fact That Life Is Complex.
Life
Appreciation
Thinking
There Is No Worse Bitterness Than To Reach The End Of Your Life And Realized You Have Not Lived.
Bitterness
Ends
There Is No Act Of Love That Is Not An Act Of Work Or Courage. No Exceptions.
Acts Of Love
Exception
The Whole Course Of Human History May Depend On A Change Of Heart In One Solitary And Even Humble Individual - For It Is In The Solitary Mind And Soul Of The Individual That The Battle Between Good And Evil Is Waged And Ultimately Won Or Lost.
Change
Integrity
Heart
With Total Discipline We Can Solve All Problems.
Discipline
Problem
Solve
One Extends One's Limits Only By Exceeding Them.
Writing
Limits
We Cannot Be A Source For Strength Unless We Nurture Our Own Strength.
Source
Nurture
Commitment Is Inherent In Any Genuinely Loving Relationship.
Relationship
Money
Commitment
A Life Of Total Dedication To The Truth Also Means A Life Of Willingness To Be Personally Challenged.
Mean
Dedication
Willingness
Nirvana Or Lasting Enlightenment Or True Spiritual Growth Can Be Achieved Only Through Persistent Exercise Of Real Love.
Love
Inspiring
Spiritual
Share Our Similarities, Celebrate Our Differences.
Soulmate
Acceptance
Differences
Good Discipline Requires Time. When We Have No Time To Give Our Children, Or No Time That We Are Willing To Give, We Don't Even Observe Them Closely Enough To Become Aware Of When Their Need For Our Disciplinary Assistance Is Expressed Subtley.
Children
Discipline
Giving
If We Want To Be Heard We Must Speak In A Language The Listener Can Understand And On A Level At Which The Listener Is Capable Of Operating.
Levels
Want
Language
The Principal Form That The Work Of Love Takes Is Attention. When We Love Another Person We Give Him Or Her Our Attention; We Attend To That Person's Growth.
Giving
Growth
Attention
The Key To Community Is The Acceptance, In Fact The Celebration Of Our Individual And Cultural Differences. It Is Also The Key To World Peace
Acceptance
Keys
Differences
I Make No Distinction Between The Mind And The Spirit, And Therefore No Distinction Between The Process Of Achieving Spiritual Growth And Achieving Mental Growth. They Are One And The Same.
Spiritual
Growth
Mind
The Path Of Spiritual Growth Is A Path Of Lifelong Learning.
Spiritual
Growth
Path
You Cannot Truly Listen To Anyone And Do Anything Else At The Same Time.
Inspirational
Time
Communication
But For The First Time, I Had A Religious Identity. I Had Come Home. And So I Called Myself A Zen Buddhist At The Age Of 18.
Religious
Buddhist
Home
By Far The Most Important Form Of Attention We Can Give Our Loved Ones Is Listening... True Listening Is Love In Action.
Giving
Listening
Important
I've Had All Kinds Of Experiences With God In Terms Of Revelation Through A Still, Small Voice Or Dreams Or Coincidences.
God
Dream
Voice
Let Me Simply State That It Is Wrong To Regard Any Other Human Being, A Priori, As An Object, Or An 'it.' This Is So Because Each And Every Human Being - You, Every Friend, Every Stranger, Every Foreigner - Is Precious.
Stranger
States
Let Me
The Symptoms And The Illness Are Not The Same Thing. The Illness Exists Long Before The Symptoms. Rather Than Being The Illness, The Symptoms Are The Beginning Of Its Cure. The Fact That They Are Unwanted Makes Them All The More A Phenomenon Of Grace — A Gift Of God, A Message From The Unconscious.
Spiritual
Self
Long
I Believe It Would Be Considerably Healthier For Us To Dare To Live Without A Reason For Many Things Than With Reasons That Are Simplistic.
Believe
Would Be
Reason
If We Know Exactly Where We're Going, Exactly How To Get There, And Exactly What We'll See Along The Way, We Won't Learn Anything.
Way
Knows
Ifs
Consciousness And Healing To Proceed Very Far Through The Desert, You Must Be Willing To Meet Existential Suffering And Work It Through. In Order To Do This, The Attitude Toward Pain Has To Change. This Happens When We Accept The Fact That Everything That Happens To Us Has Been Designed For Our Spiritual Growth.
Spiritual
Pain
Attitude
The Giving Up Of Personality Traits, Well-established Patterns Of Behavior, Ideologies, And Even Whole Life Styles...these Are Major Forms Of Giving Up That Are Required If One Is To Travel Very Far On The Journey Of Life.
Life
Giving Up
Journey
As I Grow Through Love, So Grows My Joy, Ever More Present, Ever More Constant.
Joy
Constant
Grows
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