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When I Was Young, I Was Really, Really Obsessed With Gena Rowlands And John Cassavetes. Because My Mom Was A Projectionist In College, She Was Somehow Able To Get A Real Projector. And She Had Some Connections, So She Would Get Real Prints, And We'd Put Up A Sheet. The First Movies I Saw Were To Kill A Mockingbird [1962], Gigi [1958], A Woman Under The Influence [1974]. Then When I Was Old Enough To Be Able To Rent Movies, I Went Through A Very Big Cassavetes Phase.

-Winona Ryder

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When I Was Young,

Winona Ryder

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When I Was Young, I Was Really, Really Obsessed With Gena Rowlands And John Cassavetes. Because My Mom Was A Projectionist In College, She Was Somehow Able To Get A Real Projector. And She Had Some Connections, So She Would Get Real Prints, And We'd Put Up A Sheet. The First Movies I Saw Were To Kill A Mockingbird [1962], Gigi [1958], A Woman Under The Influence [1974]. Then When I Was Old Enough To Be Able To Rent Movies, I Went Through A Very Big Cassavetes Phase.

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I Thought It Was A Cool Parallel. Being Replaced By The Young Thing. I Know That Definitely Happens In Hollywood. It's Harder To Find Good Roles, And Suddenly There's New Girls. I'm At That Age I've Been Warned My Whole Life About.

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My Problems Seemed So Glamorous To Other People, And Everyone Just Thought I Was So Lucky. But Then, I Was Lucky Because My Family Was Really There For Me. I Think I Just Felt Like I Really Wanted To Hold On To Who I Was As A Person, And Try To Have As Much Of A Normal Life As I Could.

My Parents Really Instilled This Idea In Me Of Being Your Own Person, Almost To The Extent That I Couldn't Do Wrong. I'd Get A Bad Grade And They'd Be Like, "no! What You Did Was Great!"

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I'd Always Find The Positive In Someone.

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Looking Back - I Did Have A Lot Of Success And A Lot Of Great Opportunities Earlier In My Career.

Great Opportunity

Weird People Follow You In The Streets, You Can't Sit Alone In A Restaurant Or A Cafe And Read A Book In Peace, And I Think Everybody Values Those Moments Of Being Alone.

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You Try To Get Out There And Live. I've Always Had Good Friends Who've Been Very Supportive And Help Make Me Feel Good And Grounded Because I've Never Felt Attached To The Film Industry.

I'm Not A Drug User Myself. I'm Too Little To Take Drugs - My Body Can't Take It.

You Can't Pay Enough Money To... Cure That Feeling Of Being Broken And Confused.

Certainly With The Crucible, What I Love Is That Every Role In That Is So Crucial.but There's Something Almost Comic. I Remember There's That Line Where She Says, "i Am 18 And A Woman, However Single," Which Killed Me Every Time!

I Think It's Important To Have As Much As A Normal Life And Take The Time To Get Perspective Because It Only Helps Your Work In The Long Run.

I Got To Work With Gena Rowlands When I Did Night On Earth, And The Movie Was Just You And Someone Else In A Car, You're Just Hanging Out. There's Nobody Else, Just A Walkie-talkie. It Was A Night Shoot, And It Was Only A Week Or Ten Days. But It Was Incredible Just Being In Her Presence.

I've Loved Making Movies. I Feel Like I've Been So Lucky Because I've Gotten To Be In Movies That Are Some Of My Favorites, Regardless Of My Being In Them - Like 'heathers.'

I Was Very Depressed After Breaking Off My Engagement With Johnny Ten Years Ago. I Was Embarrassingly Dramatic At The Time, But You Have To Remember I Was Only 19 Years Old.

I Don't Hang Out With Agents And Producers And I'm Not Into The Business Side At All.

When You Finally Accept That It's Ok Not To Have Answers And It's Ok Not To Be Perfect, You Realize That Feeling Confused Is A Normal Part Of What It Is To Be A Human Being.

It's Interesting Because First Wives Club Was The First Movie That Made A Shitload Of Money That Starred All Women Over A Certain Age. That Was A Milestone That Made You Think, "oh, Things Are Going To Change."

I Think I'm Learning To Be Bolder In My Career Choices And Be More Confident In My Personal Life. I Haven't Always Felt Very Secure As An Individual, But Now I Feel I Certain Confidence And Sense Of Self That Gets Me Through The Day A Lot Better Than Before.

Googling Yourself Is Maybe One Of The Worst Things You Can Do. I Did It Once, And Someone Had To Talk Me Off A Ledge.

For A Long Time, I Was Almost Ashamed Of Being An Actress. I Felt Like It Was A Shallow Occupation. People Would Be Watching My Every Move.

I Was Not The First Choice For Veronica In Heathers. I Auditioned And They Were Like, "oh, Thanks." And I Went To The Beverly Center To Macy's And Had Them Do A Makeover On Me. I Went Back Because I Kind Of Knew That They Thought I Wasn't Pretty Enough. They Were Trying To Get Jennifer Connelly.

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If Something Brilliant Comes Along But I Really Feel Like It's Too Old For Me - That I'm Not Gonna Have The Experience It Takes - I'm Not Gonna Do It. Even If It's "a Big Mistake For My Career".

I've Recommended Girls For Jobs That I Had A Different Part In, And Agents Have Been Like, "no, Don't ..."it's So Surprising To Me.

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I'm Not A Big One On - I Don't Know What To Call It - Getting All Glamorous. I Don't Really Worry About My Looks, And I Don't Worry About Getting Old. Exterior Beauty Doesn't Mean A Lot To Me.

But I've Always Felt A Need To Have A Life Which Is Completely Separate - At Least As Far As Possible - From The Kind Of Illusory Lifestyle That Comes With Being A Celebrity.

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I Remember When I Was Doing Mermaids [1990], I Was 16 And They Gave Me A B12 Shot Once. My Parents Weren't There, And When They Did Come, They Freaked Out. They Were Terrified, Because Of The Judy Garland Stories. I Know It's Just Vitamin B, But It Did Give You A Boost.

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There Are Actors I Know Personally, Or I've Heard Them Say, "the Less Known About Me, The Better, Because I Just Want People To Think Of Me As The Character." I Think Matt Damon Said That Recently. He Has A Point And I Think I Get That.

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One Of My Friends Committed Suicide When I Was In High School, And It's The Most Tragic Thing Anybody Can Go Through.

The Fact That I Got Into Acting At All Was Kind Of Fluke-ish. I Loved Movies, But I Can't Remember Ever Really Wanting To Be An Actress, And I Certainly Didn't Imagine Ever Being In A Movie. I Think I Wanted To Be A Writer.

I'm The Type Who'd Rather Not Work Than Work On Something I'm Not Into. I've Done That A Couple Of Times, And I Feel Like I Can Totally See It In My Performance.

I Am Not A Person Who Can Really Sit Around And Think About Regrets Because With Every Bad Experience That You Have, There Is Weirdly Something Good That Comes From It.

Bad Experiences

Crazy Isn't Being Broken, Or Swallowing A Dark Secret. It's You Or Me, Amplified.

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