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One Of My Friends Committed Suicide When I Was In High School, And It's The Most Tragic Thing Anybody Can Go Through.

-Winona Ryder

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One Of My Friends

Winona Ryder

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One Of My Friends Committed Suicide When I Was In High School, And It's The Most Tragic Thing Anybody Can Go Through.

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You Try To Get Out There And Live. I've Always Had Good Friends Who've Been Very Supportive And Help Make Me Feel Good And Grounded Because I've Never Felt Attached To The Film Industry.

I Love Texas. Even If I Am A Little Bit Famous Or A Little Bit Popular... You Go To Places Where You're Not And Just Live Like Everybody Else Lives. I'm Not Crazy About This Country In Terms Of The Shape It's In, But I Do Think There Are Lots Of Great Pieces To Go To. I Think I Should Take Advantage Of It While This Country Still Exists.

I Feel My Best When I'm Happy.

I Will Say, Though, That San Francisco Is A Very Friendly City. It's The Kind Of Place Where People Smile At You And You Can Strike Up Conversations On The Street, So There's Always An Adjustment When I Come Back To New York. If I Smile At Someone On The Street In New York, Then They Think There's Something Up - Like, "why Is She Smiling?"

Well, Yeah! Now They're Considered Golden Oldies, Which Is Awesome. I Was Watching Little Women Recently, And I Didn't Want To Get Up For Fear Of Missing Something. And Heathers Is Like My Own Rocky Horror Picture Show; I Recite The Lines When It's On. It May Seem Odd, But I Think It's Because They're Really Good Movies.

When You Finally Accept That It's Ok Not To Have Answers And It's Ok Not To Be Perfect, You Realize That Feeling Confused Is A Normal Part Of What It Is To Be A Human Being.

I'd Always Find The Positive In Someone.

In America, I Don't Know How Much Longer The Environment Is Going To Exist. I Sort Of Strongly Believe That We're In Danger.

People Think That They Just Want Movies Like Pretty Woman, When Really They - At Least The Ones That I Know Personally - Have Been Waiting For Something That Doesn't Completely Insult Them.

I Would Love To Someday Do A Play. I Did One When I Was Very Young In San Francisco, Where I Grew Up. A Girl Can Dream.

But I've Always Felt A Need To Have A Life Which Is Completely Separate - At Least As Far As Possible - From The Kind Of Illusory Lifestyle That Comes With Being A Celebrity.

Society Makes Suicide So Romantic. I Mean, You Watch These Tv Movies About Teen Suicide And You Want To Jump In Front Of A Bus. Because Your Biggest Fantasy Is Your Own Funeral. No One Will Admit To It, But It's True.

I'm Too Young To Play Lawyers. But I've Been Really Lucky Because I Never Got Labeled. I Never Did The John Hughes Thing. I Did Adult Movies. I'm Not Bragging Or Anything, But I Think That I've Chosen Really Good Roles. I've Played Different People And Showed That I Have A Little Bit Of Range.

I Remember Being 18, And My First Boyfriend Said To Me, "unless You're In The Room, You Don't Know If It's True." We Were Talking About Gossip.

I Want To Be A Good Person, And A Person That People Enjoy Working With, 'cause I Certainly Enjoy Working With Other People.

Working With Others

There Are Actors I Know Personally, Or I've Heard Them Say, "the Less Known About Me, The Better, Because I Just Want People To Think Of Me As The Character." I Think Matt Damon Said That Recently. He Has A Point And I Think I Get That.

I Was Inspired By Lots Of People, Certainly In Acting And In Writing And Stuff, But I Never Wanted To Be Somebody Else.

It's Also A Question Of Finding Good Material And Interesting Roles. I'm Not The Only Actress Out There, And Good Parts Just Don't Fall Into Your Lap That Easily. But I Like Most Of The Films I've Made Recently And So I'm Pretty Positive About The Future.

I Love Books And Going To Bookstores. My Favorite Sound Is The Sound Of The Needle Hitting The Record.

The Fact That I Got Into Acting At All Was Kind Of Fluke-ish. I Loved Movies, But I Can't Remember Ever Really Wanting To Be An Actress, And I Certainly Didn't Imagine Ever Being In A Movie. I Think I Wanted To Be A Writer.

It's Really Good To Be Able To Think About Past Loves Without Having A Pit In My Stomach, Or Cringing Or Feeling Heart-broken, Or Like They Hate You. Don't You Think?

My Parents Really Instilled This Idea In Me Of Being Your Own Person, Almost To The Extent That I Couldn't Do Wrong. I'd Get A Bad Grade And They'd Be Like, "no! What You Did Was Great!"

I Was Very Lucky Because Tim Burton Really Gave Me A Career. I Don't Think Hollywood Would've Known What To Do With Me. If I Hadn't Done 'beetlejuice,' I Think I Would've Just Gone Back To My School.

It's Weird Because I Think Of Movies Like Reality Bites Or Something, Where, Even Though My Life Was Nothing Like That, I Hadn't Done Something Contemporary For A While, And It's Easier. You Do Try To Make Something Your Own.

I Think That As Actresses - And I've Definitely Gone Through This In A Really Bizarre Way, Because I Worked So Much And Was Really Lucky With The Roles That I Got When I Was Younger - I Remember Hearing The Older Actors Saying, "it Gets Tough," And Thinking, "really? I Can't Imagine."

For A Long Time, I Was Almost Ashamed Of Being An Actress. I Felt Like It Was A Shallow Occupation. People Would Be Watching My Every Move.

It's An Indication Of How Cynical Our Society Has Become That Any Kind Of Love Story With A Sad Theme Is Automatically Ridiculed As Sentimental Junk.

It's Interesting Because First Wives Club Was The First Movie That Made A Shitload Of Money That Starred All Women Over A Certain Age. That Was A Milestone That Made You Think, "oh, Things Are Going To Change."

The Older You Get, The More Yourself You Can Be And The Less Worried You Are About What Other People Think.

I Think It's Really Important To Have A Life And Have Interests Outside Of This [movie] Business, And Not Rely On This Business To Validate You As A Human Being. If You Do That, You're Really In A Dangerous Spot.

If A Film Is Well Made, Then Great, Whatever It's About.

In The '80s, I Loved The Movies Of The '70s. Also I Remember Loving Klute [1971]. I Loved Jane Fonda. Actually, I Auditioned For The Last Movie She Made Before She Retired For A While, Stanley And Iris [1990], Which Martha Plimpton Got.

All We Want Is To Be Treated Like Human Beings, And Not To Be Patronized, Or Experimented On Like Guinea Pigs.

Somehow I Was Invited To Visit With Audrey Hepburn. I Had This Afternoon With Her, And She Gave Me A Couple Things. She Was So Gracious And Everything You Would Think That She Would Be.

Weird People Follow You In The Streets, You Can't Sit Alone In A Restaurant Or A Cafe And Read A Book In Peace, And I Think Everybody Values Those Moments Of Being Alone.

I'm The Type Who'd Rather Not Work Than Work On Something I'm Not Into. I've Done That A Couple Of Times, And I Feel Like I Can Totally See It In My Performance.

As An Actress, You Want To Try New Things. You Don't Want To Repeat Yourself. That Becomes More Important To You, As You Get Older.

I Remember When I First Started Being In Magazines, I Had Pretty Thin Skin. I Was This Nerd That Read Books And Stayed Home And Didn't Go Out.

I'm Quite Comfortable Looking At Myself In Movies, Probably Because I've Been Doing It For So Long, Since I Was A Kid. So I Sort Of Watched Myself Grow Up And Go Through Adolescence, Like, Basically On Camera.

I've Read The Bible. I Think The Bible's A Great Book, But It's A Novel. It's Beautifully Written And La-di-da, But People Really Took It The Wrong Way.

I'm 44 Years Old. So, It's Really Great To Watch Younger Generations Getting Their Opportunities, And Being There To Support Them In That.

I Remember Realizing, When I Did Little Women [1994], That That Was The Only Time Girls That Age Were Being Written About. It Was Always Boys - From David Copperfield To Lord Of The Flies To Holden Caulfield. There Were Never Young Women Going Through Adolescence Or Teen Years; There Were Only Little Girls.

I've Loved Making Movies. I Feel Like I've Been So Lucky Because I've Gotten To Be In Movies That Are Some Of My Favorites, Regardless Of My Being In Them - Like 'heathers.'

I'm Not Into Wrinkles.

I Love Westerns. John Ford Is One Of The 10 Best Directors.

I Binge-watched This Show Damages. Glenn Close And Rose Byrne Are So Good. Lily Tomlin Is In It. You See All These Great Actors And The Writing Is Terrific. There Are A Lot Of Shows Like That. And There Are All These Conversations Right Now About Roles For Women And Being Paid Equally And All Of That, But I Think What It Really Is, Is Opportunity.

I Was Never Strategic Really, But Back When I Was Starting Out No One Cared. In The Acting Community, Box Office Didn't Matter. I Really Think It Was A Mistake When They Started Paying People Like $20 Million To Do A Movie Because Now It's All People Think About. Is She Worth It? Is He Worth It?

You Know You're Getting Older When They're Making Tv Shows, Sequels Or Plays For Things That You Did. It's Very Flattering And Very Humbling, Indeed.

Reverend Hale Is So Interesting Because At First He's Like, "oh, She's Got The Mark." Then By The End He's Like, "you're All Crazy."

I Often Get Offered Things That Are So Similar To Things That I Have Done, And Life Is Too Short. When You Make A Film Or A Show, As You Get Older, That's A Lot Of Time To Be Doing Something That You're Not Absolutely Invested In Or In Love With.

Life Is Too Short

Googling Yourself Is Maybe One Of The Worst Things You Can Do. I Did It Once, And Someone Had To Talk Me Off A Ledge.

One Of My Friends Committed Suicide When I Was In High School, And It's The Most Tragic Thing Anybody Can Go Through.

Looking Back - I Did Have A Lot Of Success And A Lot Of Great Opportunities Earlier In My Career.

Great Opportunity

Bette Davis, She Was So Brilliant And One Of My Heroes, But She Worked A Ton, And Then She Didn't Get All About Eve [1950] Until The Last Minute. Claudette Colbert Was Supposed To Be Margo Channing, But Then She Broke Her Back And Couldn't Do It. That Allowed Davis To Play Her Age.

You're Lucky If You're In Three Great Movies, Or Even One Great Movie. I've Been So Lucky. But If You Rely On The Business To Dictate Whether You're Happy, It Gets Really Complicated. You Just Can't Do That. There Have Been Times In My Life That I've Done That, And I've Found It Depressing.

What's Awful About Being Famous And Being An Actress Is When People Come Up To You And Touch You. That's Scary, And They Just Seem To Think It's Okay To Do It, Like You're Public Property.

I Was Very Obsessed With Ruth Gordon. I Really Didn't Foresee Me Having Any Type Of Career As A Leading Lady At All Because It Was Just Blonds. I Just Wasn't The Type - I Was Told That By Casting Directors. I Auditioned For Running On Empty [1988] And The Mosquito Coast [1986], And Martha Plimpton Was Just Killing Me.

That First Movie I Did, Lucas [1986], Was Probably The Closest To Me. And Beetlejuice A Little Bit, In The Sense That I Did Look Like That. All They Did Was Like Put A Little White Powder Here.

I, Myself, Am Strange And Unusual.

I Grew Up In San Francisco. My Parents Were Not Hippies; They Were Writers. They Were Very Active Politically, But On The Intellectual Side, Not On The "taking Drugs In A Field And Listening To The Grateful Dead" Side.

Even Though 'heathers' Didn't Make A Lot Of Money, I Really Was Able To Transition Into A Situation Where People Thought I Could Play An Attractive Role Because Of It.

I Remember When I Was Doing Mermaids [1990], I Was 16 And They Gave Me A B12 Shot Once. My Parents Weren't There, And When They Did Come, They Freaked Out. They Were Terrified, Because Of The Judy Garland Stories. I Know It's Just Vitamin B, But It Did Give You A Boost.

I Definitely Believe In Legalizing Drugs. It Does Take The Mystery Away. It Takes The Money Away, So Suddenly There Are No Drug Wars. If You're A Junkie, You Can Get Help Easier.

When I Met Johnny, I Was Pure Virgin. He Changed That. He Was My First Everything. My First Real Kiss. My First Real Boyfriend. My First Fiancé. The First Guy I Had Sex With. So He'll Always Be In My Heart. Forever. Kind Of Funny That Word.

I Was So Spoiled In A Way. I Worked Very Hard, But There Was Just A Wealth Of Great Roles.

Even Though I Never Really Had To Pound The Pavement As An Actor, I Always Worked Really Hard. But, At The Same Time, I Always Felt Like People Thought That I Didn't Have To Struggle Even Though I Was Struggling.

I Have This Sense That I Didn't Really Start Growing Up Until My Twenties.

My Dad Took Me To All The Best Rock And Punk Shows When I Was Growing Up And Music Has Always Been A Part Of My Life. So I'm Very Interested In The Music Scene And I Suppose That's Why I've Ended Up Going Out With Musicians. Dave Pirner Is Still One Of My Best Friends.

I Don't Have Anything Left To Offer In The Teen-angst Area. I've Done It Every Way I Know How.

Most Of My Wardrobe Is Vintage, And I've Worn Dresses To The Oscars That I Got For $10.

I Watched This Documentary On Madonna. I Remember I Grew Up Hearing She Wanted To Rule The World. Actually, She Worked Really Hard - Really, Really Hard.

You've Got To Grow Up Sometime.

Bette Davis In All About Eve Was Huge For Me. Her Acting Was Staggering.

When I Was Young, I Was Really, Really Obsessed With Gena Rowlands And John Cassavetes. Because My Mom Was A Projectionist In College, She Was Somehow Able To Get A Real Projector. And She Had Some Connections, So She Would Get Real Prints, And We'd Put Up A Sheet. The First Movies I Saw Were To Kill A Mockingbird [1962], Gigi [1958], A Woman Under The Influence [1974]. Then When I Was Old Enough To Be Able To Rent Movies, I Went Through A Very Big Cassavetes Phase.

I Thought It Was A Cool Parallel. Being Replaced By The Young Thing. I Know That Definitely Happens In Hollywood. It's Harder To Find Good Roles, And Suddenly There's New Girls. I'm At That Age I've Been Warned My Whole Life About.

I Try To Just Pay Attention To What I'm Feeling. If Something Is Scary To Me, Then That's Sometimes A Good Sign - Although, Sometimes It's Not.

My Father Is An Atheist. My Mother Is Buddhist. They Encouraged My Siblings And Me To Take The Best Part Of Other Religions To Make Our Own Belief System.

My Problems Seemed So Glamorous To Other People, And Everyone Just Thought I Was So Lucky. But Then, I Was Lucky Because My Family Was Really There For Me. I Think I Just Felt Like I Really Wanted To Hold On To Who I Was As A Person, And Try To Have As Much Of A Normal Life As I Could.

Actors Do These Really Gross, Gun-'em-down Movies, And I Always Wonder Why. They're Not Good Movies. And It's Like, "why Are You Doing Them? Aren't You Rich Enough?"

Break-ups Are Hard For Anybody, But It's Particularly Tough When It's Being Documented And You See The Person's Picture Everywhere. Most People Don't Have That Added Problem When They Break Up With Someone.

The Actors That I Do Know Are People Who I Think Have Souls, You Know?

A Lot Of The Old Movie Theaters Are Closing Down Now, Which Is Really Sad. It's Still In The Back Of My Mind.

One Thing You Have To Have When You Act Is Energy.

That's An Aspect Of This Business Which Can Be Very Frustrating And Aggravating. Most Of What Is Written About You Is Wrong And So Much Of What Does Get Printed Is Often About Personal Things That You Don't Want To Have Other People Read About.

I Got To Work With Gena Rowlands When I Did Night On Earth, And The Movie Was Just You And Someone Else In A Car, You're Just Hanging Out. There's Nobody Else, Just A Walkie-talkie. It Was A Night Shoot, And It Was Only A Week Or Ten Days. But It Was Incredible Just Being In Her Presence.

My Father Believes That Western Religions Are Death Cults, Which I Agree With.

In Retrospect, I Went To Jane Fonda For Literally Everything. During Mermaids, We Were Staying In The Same Building, So She Was Right Upstairs From Me. I Was In My First Relationship, So I Got All Sorts Of Advice. She Became Famous In Her Late Teens.

If Something Brilliant Comes Along But I Really Feel Like It's Too Old For Me - That I'm Not Gonna Have The Experience It Takes - I'm Not Gonna Do It. Even If It's "a Big Mistake For My Career".

I'm Not A Big One On - I Don't Know What To Call It - Getting All Glamorous. I Don't Really Worry About My Looks, And I Don't Worry About Getting Old. Exterior Beauty Doesn't Mean A Lot To Me.

You Go Through Spells Where You Feel That Maybe You're Too Sensitive For This World. I Certainly Felt That.

I Was Exhausted And Going Through A Terrible Depression.

It's Just People Should Realize That The Celebrity Aspect Of Being An Actor Is Very Rarely Enjoyable For People Like Me Who Would Always Rather Go Unnoticed And Disappear Into The Crowd.

Crazy Isn't Being Broken, Or Swallowing A Dark Secret. It's You Or Me, Amplified.

If You're A Musician, You Can Practice Your Guitar Every Day And Write Songs, But When You're An Actor, You Can't Just Like Burst Into A Monologue. Your Only Exercise Is When You're In Prep Or You're Working.

You Have Good Days And Bad Days, And Depression's Something That, You Know, Is Always With You.

My Parents Were Great In The Sense That They Treated Me Like A Human Being When I Was Growing Up. They Showed Me How Beautiful Things Can Be And How Ugly They Can Be.

I Love My Job. But All The Stuff That Comes With It, The Thought Of Being Propelled Into The Limelight Again Is Not Something I Sit Around And Fantasize About, Certainly. I'd Much Rather Just Do My Work, And Then Go Home And Read My Books And Watch Movies.

There's A Scene [in The 1990 Film Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael] In My Bedroom Where I Start Eating Almond Roca. I Was So Young. It Was Before I Knew The Tricks Of Moviemaking, And I Didn't Know You Shoot A Lot Of Different Angles. I Gobbled Them And Didn't Realize I Had To Keep Doing It. So I Had To Eat 64 Almond Roca That Day. I Got So Sick. In The Beginning You're Like, 'ooh, That Looks Good.' But Hours Later, No.

I Really Lucked Out In Terms Of How My Parents Encouraged Me To Develop My Own Personality So I Didn't Just Feel Incredibly Insecure And Like I Didn't Fit In.

I've Recommended Girls For Jobs That I Had A Different Part In, And Agents Have Been Like, "no, Don't ..."it's So Surprising To Me.

I Am Not A Person Who Can Really Sit Around And Think About Regrets Because With Every Bad Experience That You Have, There Is Weirdly Something Good That Comes From It.

Bad Experiences

I Think I Really Scored With My Parents. All Of My Friends Pretty Much Came From Broken Homes, And My Parents Are Still Together, But Not Only That, They're Still In Love And Still Write Together.

I'm Not Interested In Playing The Girl That's Just There To Make The Guy, You Know, Give Him A Talking To.

I'm A Really Private Person. I Just Love My Work. I Feel Like Celebrity Has Changed So Much, In This Culture. Ever Since They Started With Those Reality Shows And People That Aren't Actors But They're Really Famous, It's Gotten Very Different From When I Started Out. So, The Idea Of Ever Becoming More Than What I Had Is Not Really What I Want.

I Think It's Important To Have As Much As A Normal Life And Take The Time To Get Perspective Because It Only Helps Your Work In The Long Run.

You Can't Pay Enough Money To... Cure That Feeling Of Being Broken And Confused.

I Was Regarded As The School Freak Which Further Reinforced A Lot Of Inhibitions And Doubts I Had About Myself. I Was A Shy, Frightened Teenager For A Long Time.

There's Like This Great Thing That Bette Davis Said When Someone Asked Her, "how Do You Get Into Hollywood?" "take Fountain!"

Certainly With The Crucible, What I Love Is That Every Role In That Is So Crucial.but There's Something Almost Comic. I Remember There's That Line Where She Says, "i Am 18 And A Woman, However Single," Which Killed Me Every Time!

A Lot Of Filmmakers And Actors Say, "it's So Important To Bring An Authenticity To The Role," Blah, Blah, Blah. But Then It's Interesting Because You're Also Trying To Be Somebody Else, And Viewers Are Going To Associate You With That, So I Don't Think It Really Has An Answer.

As An Actress, You Go Where The Stories Are. I Don't Really Care Where It's Seen, At This Point. I Just Want To Tell Good Stories And Do Good Roles That I Haven't Done Before.

It's Part Of The Celebrity Process But My Life Has Never Been As Interesting Or As Wild As What's Been Printed About Me.

I Think I'm Learning To Be Bolder In My Career Choices And Be More Confident In My Personal Life. I Haven't Always Felt Very Secure As An Individual, But Now I Feel I Certain Confidence And Sense Of Self That Gets Me Through The Day A Lot Better Than Before.

I Was Not The First Choice For Veronica In Heathers. I Auditioned And They Were Like, "oh, Thanks." And I Went To The Beverly Center To Macy's And Had Them Do A Makeover On Me. I Went Back Because I Kind Of Knew That They Thought I Wasn't Pretty Enough. They Were Trying To Get Jennifer Connelly.

Remember, I'm The Kind Of Kid Who Used To Get Stuffed Into A Locker By School Bullies. I've Never Felt Like I'm A Big Star At Any Level Of My Life.

I'm Not Into Older Guys. To Tell You The Truth, Richard Gere Is Not The Sexiest Man Alive, In My Book.

I Was Mid-sentence When The Casting Director Said, "listen, Kid. You Should Not Be An Actress. You Are Not Pretty Enough. You Should Go Back To Wherever You Came From And You Should Go To School. You Don't Have It." She Was Very Blunt - I Honestly Think That She Thought She Was Doing Me A Favor.

I Was Very Depressed After Breaking Off My Engagement With Johnny Ten Years Ago. I Was Embarrassingly Dramatic At The Time, But You Have To Remember I Was Only 19 Years Old.

I'm Not A Drug User Myself. I'm Too Little To Take Drugs - My Body Can't Take It.

Most Actors Don't Know What They're Going To Do Next, So You Get Into This Thing Where You Have To Force Yourself To Have Another Life Outside Of Acting. And Then, As Soon As You Start Something In This Sort Of Normal Life That You're Trying To Live, You Get A Job. So You Have This Constant Struggle Because You Want To Be Able To Commit To Things And To Finish Things In Your Life, But Then You Also Want To Be Able To Act.

I Remember When I Did Little Women, I Didn't Watch The Katharine Hepburn One Over And Over, Which I Thought I Would Do. Heathers, I Was Completely Obsessed With.

You Look At People Like Gena Rowlands, But She Had [john] Cassavetes To Write These Amazing Roles For Her.

There Was A Time When I Was 19 When I Really, Really, Really Thought I Was Going Crazy. I Was Exhausted And Going Through A Terrible Depression.

What's Great Is My Parents Aren't Stuck In The '60s. My Dad Is So Into The Culture Of Today.

I'm Very Attached To Movie Theaters And I Love Going To Them. Nothing Will Ever Replace That. It's Very Romantic And Beautiful. I Used To Want To Live Inside Of One, With A Bathtub, A Bike And A Bed, And Just Watch Movies.

No One Is Banging My Door Down To Be A Superhero. I Don't Know How Good I Would Be. I Have Low Bone Density, So I Don't Know If Anyone Really Wants To Put Me In A Cape And Chuck Me Out A Window. But A Lot Of My Friends, Who Are Great Actors And Who Come From Film, Are Doing Tv Because That's Where The Opportunities Are. For Us, It Does Feel Like It's Similar To Making The Movies That We Used To Make.

I Don't Hang Out With Agents And Producers And I'm Not Into The Business Side At All.

I've Learned That It's Ok To Be Flawed, That Life Can Be Messy, That Some Days You Glide And Some Days You Fall, But Most Important, That There Are No Secret Answers Out There.

How I Was Raised Was, There Were No Rules - Nothing Like That. If I Wanted To Take A Drug Because I Was In School And Everybody Was Doing It, I Could Go To My Parents And Say, "i Really Want To Try This." And They'd Say, "if You Do This, O.k., But This Is What Can Happen To You..." They'd Say, "don't Get It In The Streets, Because It Could Be Really Bad And Make You Freak Out. Don't Take It In A Crowded Place, Because You'll Panic."

You Do A Movie If It's Good And If You Want To Do It. It Doesn't Matter If It's Small Or Big Or Expensive Or Cheap. If You Want To Say The Words, You're Gonna Say Them. You Can't Strategize.

I Think It's Really Important To Have A Life Outside Of This [movie] Business And Just Be The Best Person You Can Be.

I Love Photography And First Editions. I Have That In My Genes. My Father Was An Archivist.

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