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When I Get Home, I Sit On The Front Step And Take Deep Breaths Of The Cool Spring Air For A Few Minutes. My Mother Was The One Who Taught Me To Steal Moments Like Those, Moments Of Freedom, Though She Didn't Now It. I Watched Her... But I Learned Something Else From Watching Her Too, Which Is That The Free Moments Always Have To End.

-Veronica Roth

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When I Get Home,

Veronica Roth

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When I Get Home, I Sit On The Front Step And Take Deep Breaths Of The Cool Spring Air For A Few Minutes. My Mother Was The One Who Taught Me To Steal Moments Like Those, Moments Of Freedom, Though She Didn't Now It. I Watched Her... But I Learned Something Else From Watching Her Too, Which Is That The Free Moments Always Have To End.

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By The Time We Leave, I Have Red Lips And Curled Eyelashes, And I’m Wearing A Bright Red Dress. And There’s A Knife Strapped To The Inside Of My Knee. This All Makes Perfect Sense.

I Have Done Bad Things. I Can't Take Them Back, And They Are Part Of Who I Am. Most Of The Time, They Seem Like The Only Thing I Am.

It Is More Important For You To Be Safe Than Right, For The Time Being. Understand? (...) But Please, When You See An Opportunity...ruin Them

Stiff. That’s Why You’re Strong, Get It? - Tobias Eaton

And He’s Right To Say That Every Faction Loses Something When It Gains A Virtue: The Dauntless, Brave But Cruel; The Erudite, Intelligent But Vain; The Amity, Peaceful But Passive; The Candor, Honest But Inconsiderate; The Abnegation, Selfless But Stifling.

She Sighs, Then Breaks A Piece Off The Muffin In My Hand. 'hey. There Are Plenty More Just Five Feet To Your Right.' 'then You Shouldn't Be So Concerned About Losing Some Of Yours.' She Says, Grinning. 'fair Enough.

We Could Visit Him," Suggests Will. "but What Would We Say? 'i Didn't Know You That Well, But I'm Sorry You Got Stabbed In The Eye'?

The Goal Of My Life Isn't Just... To Be Happy. 'wouldn't It Be Easier If It Was, Though?

I Wish I Could Say I Felt Guilty For What I Did. I Don't.

I Don't Want To Stop You. I Want You To Stop Yourself.

Caleb And Tris Exchange A Look. The Skin On His Face And On Her Knuckles Is Nearly The Same Colour, Purple-blue-green, As If Drawn With Ink. This Is What Happens When Siblings Collide - They Injure Each Other In The Same Way.

She Must Love Me, To Worry About Me. She Must Still Be Capable Of Love.

She Smiles.her Teeth Are Crooked. If I Knocked Them Out,i Might Be Doing Her A Favor.

That Said, In The Two Weeks Before I Leave For The Dark Days Tour, I Am Going Radio Silent, Which Means I Will Be Avoiding The Internet At All Costs In Order To Revise, Revise, Revise. I Will Miss You. Tris Says Hi, Though.

And Don't Pay Attention To Christina. Your Face Doesn't Look That Bad." He Smiles A Little. "i Mean, It Looks Good. It Always Looks Good. I Mean--you Look Brave. Dauntless." His Eyes Skirt Mine, And He Scratches The Back Of His Head. The Silence Grows Between Us. It Was A Nice Thing To Say, But He Acts Like It Means More Than Just Words. I Hope I Am Wrong. I Could Not Be Attracted To Al-- I Could Not Be Attracted To Anyone That Fragile. I Smile As Much As My Bruised Cheek Will Allow, Hoping That Will Diffuse The Tension.

They Try To Make You Think They Care About What You Do But They Don't. They Don't Want You To Act A Certain Way. So You're Easy To Understand. So You Won't Pose A Threat To Them.

He Told Me Once To Be Brave, And Though I Have Stood Still While Knives Spun Toward My Face And Jumped Off A Roof, I Never Thought I Would Need Bravery In The Small Moments Of My Life. I Do.

You Want Him To Walk?" Caleb Demands. "are You Insane?" "did I Shoot Him In The Leg?" I Say. "no. He Walks. Where Do We Go, Peter?

Then I Realize What It Is. It's Him. Something About Him Makes Me Feel Like I Am About To Fall. Or Turn To Liquid. Or Burst Into Flames.

That Is How It Feels. Like Everything Between Us Is Twisted Together, Friendship And Love And Family, So I Cant Tell The Difference Between Any Of Them.

Love And Friendship

A Dauntless Ferris Wheel Wouldn’t Have Cars. You Would Just Hang On Tight With Your Hands, And Good Luck To You.

She Tips Her Chin Up And Looks At Me With That Abnegation Stubbornness I Know So Well. She May Have Left Them, But They Are What’s Making Her Strong.

We Are Not People Who Touch Each Other Carelessly; Every Point Of Contact Between Us Feels Important, A Rush Of Energy And Relief.

Fighting For Survival In A Shattered World... The Truth Is Her Only Hope.

Though I Know That He Had Something To Do With The Attack Simulation, And With All Those Deaths, I Find It Difficult To Pair Those Actions With The Man I See In Front Of Me. I Wonder If This Is How It Is With All Evil Men, That To Someone, They Look Just Like Good Men, Talk Like Good Men, Are Just As Likeable As Good Men.

Trust Me When I Tell You, Eaton Boy, That Resisting Is Worth Doing.

I Am Wearing A Gray Shirt, Blue Jeans, Black Shoes--new Clothes, But Beneath Them, My Dauntless Tattoos. It Is Impossible To Erase My Choices. Especially These.

From Your Results I Have Determined That You Are One Of The Strongest Divergent, Which I Say Not To Compliment You But To Explain My Purpose. If I Am To Develop A Simulation That Cannot Be Thwarted By The Divergent Mind, I Must Study The Strongest Divergent Mind In Order To Shore Up All Weaknesses In The Technology.

Compliments You

He's One Of The Last Friends I Have," She Says, Her Voice Breaking. "i Don't Know If I'll Ever Be Able To Look At You The Same Way Again.

Maybe I Was Afraid To Trust Him With Something So Personal As My Devotion.

"i'll Be Your Family Now," He Says. "i Love You," I Say. He Stares At Me. I Wait With My Hands Clutching His Arms For Stability As He Considers His Response. He Frowns At Me. "say It Again." "tobias," I Say, "i Love You."

Morning," I Say. "shh," She Says. "if You Don't Acknowledge It, Maybe It Will Go Away.

You Know What Mom Told Me Once? She Said That Everyone Has Some Evil Inside Them, And The First Step To Loving Anyone Is To Recognize The Same Evil In Ourselves, So We're Able To Forgive Them.

One Piece Of Advice I Have Is: Want Something Else More Than Success. Success Is A Lovely Thing, But Your Desire To Say Something, Your Worth, And Your Identity Shouldn’t Rely On It, Because It’s Not Guaranteed And It’s Not Permanent And It’s Not Sufficient. So Work Hard, Fall In Love With The Writing — The Characters, The Story, The Words, The Themes — And Make Sure That You Are Who You Are Regardless Of Your Life Circumstances. That Way, When The Good Things Come, They Don’t Warp You, And When The Bad Things Hit You, You Don’t Fall Apart.

Falling In Love

I Brought You The Truth About Our City And The Reason We Are In It. If You Aren't Thanking Me For It, You Should At Least Do Something About It Instead Of Sitting Here On This Mess You Made, Pretending It's A Throne!

Yesterday He Told Me He Thought I Would Have To Pretend To Be Weak, But He Was Wrong. I Am Weak Already. I Brace Myself Against The Wall And Press My Forehead To My Hands. It’s Difficult To Take Deep Breaths, So I Take Short, Shallow Ones. I Can’t Let This Happen. They Attacked Me To Make Me Feel Weak. I Can Pretend They Succeeded To Protect Myself, But I Can’t Let It Become True.

I Love 'harry Potter.' I'm A Huge Nerd - I Would Dress Up If I Could.

There Is A Difference Between Admitting And Confessing. Admitting Involves Softening, Making Excuses For Things That Cannot Be Excused; Confessing Just Names The Crimes At Its Full Severity.

Relax Beatrice, I've Driven A Car Before.' Marcus 'i've Done A Lot Of Things Before, But That Doesn't Mean I'm Any Good At Them!' Tris

I Catch Myself Thinking 'thank God For This' Out Of Habit, And Then I Understand What He's So Concerned About. What If My Parents' God, Their Whole Belief System, Is Just Something Concocted By A Bunch Of Scientists To Keep Us Under Control? And Not Just Their Beliefs About God And Whatever Else Is Out There, About Right And Wrong, About Selfishness?

I Am Collecting The Lessons Each Faction Has To Teach Me, And Storing Them In My Mind Like A Guidebook For Moving Through The World. There Is Always Somthing To Learn, Always Somthing That Is Important To Understand

Are You Asking Me To Undress, Tris?' A Nervous Laugh Gurgles From My Throat. 'only ... Partially

The Serum Wears Off Five Hours Later, When The Sun Is Just Beginning To Set. Tobias Shut Me In My Room For The Rest Of The Day, Checking On Me Every Hour. This Time When He Comes In, I Am Sitting On The Bed, Glaring At The Wall. “thank God,” He Says, Pressing His Forehead To The Door. “i Was Beginning To Think It Would Never Wear Off And I Would Have To Leave You Here To … Smell Flowers, Or Whatever You Wanted To Do While You Were On That Stuff.

I Am His, And He Is Mine, And It Has Been That Way All Along.

I Have Your Back. I Didn't Mean Only When It's Easy. All The Time.

Not Writing Is As Important As Writing - Go Out Into The World And Remember How Interesting It, And The People In It, Are.

For Someone So Small, You're Heavy, Stiff," He Mutters.

I Glance At Tris. She Grins At Me, Then Leans In To Whisper Something To Christina. "are You Here To Help Or What, Stiff?" I Say.

I See Love Developing From Friendship. Common Ground Is A Strong Basis For Friendship. My Husband Is My Best Friend And We Have A Lot In Common Even Though We're Admittedly Different People. I Think It Evolves From How I See Relationships Working. You Know, The Opposites Attract Thing Happens All The Time, But So Does The Best Friends Thing. It's Just A Great Kind Of Relationship In Fiction.

I'm Surprised You Know That," I Say Quietly, " Since You Left Halfway Through My One And Only Fight." "it Wasn't Something I Wanted To Watch." He Says. What's That Supposed To Mean?

She Can't Possibly Be Me, Though She Moves When I Move

Ser Sincero En Todo Momento Debe Requerir Valor. Yo No Sabría Hacerlo.

Did You Ever Meet Someone Named Caleb?" I Say. 'caleb," Fernando Says. "yes, There Was A Caleb In My Initiate Class. Brilliant, But He Was... What's The Colloquial Term For It? A Suck-up." He Smirks.

We're All Right, You Know,' He Says Quietly. 'you And Me. Okay?' My Chest Aches, And I Nod. 'nothing Else Is All Right.' His Whisper Tickles My Cheek. 'but We Are.

I Cross My Arms. "it Was A Two Minute Conversation." "i Don't Think A Smaller Time Frame Makes It Less Unwise." He Furrows His Eyebrows And Touches The Corner Of My Bruised Eye With His Fingertips. My Head Jerks Back, But He Doesn't Take His Hand Away. Instead He Sighs. "you Know, If You Could Just Learn To Attack First, You Might Do Better." "attack First?" I Say. "how Will That Help?" "you're Fast. If You Can Get A Few Good Hits In Before They Know What's Going On, You Could Win." He Shrugs, And His Hand Falls.

Eric Called Al's Suicide Brave, And He Was Wrong. My Mother's Death Was Brave. I Remember How Calm She Was, How Determined. It Isn't Just Brave That She Died For Me; It Is Brave That She Did It Without Announcing It, Without Hesitation, And Without Appearing To Consider Another Option.

I Would Rather Be Dead Than Empty

It's Like He Knows, He Knows I Have A Thing For Her.

Faction Before Blood.

Our Ability To Know About Ourselves And The World Is What Makes Us Human

But I Killed A Man Just Like My Mother Did. David Says It’s Okay Because I Didn’t Mean To, And Because He Was About To Kill That Little Kid. But I’m Pretty Sure My Mom Didn’t Mean To Kill My Dad, Either, So What Difference Does That Make, Meaning Or Not Meaning To Do Something? Accident Or On Purpose, The Result Is The Same, And That’s One Fewer Life Than There Should Be In The World.

You Know I'm Getting A Little Tired Of Waiting For You To Catch On.

Tris," He Says. "what Did They Do To You? You're Acting Like A Lunatic." "that's Not Very Nice Of You To Say," I Say. "they Put Me In A Good Mood, That's All. And Now I Really Want To Kiss You, So If You Could Just Relax-

I Will Be My Undoing If I Become My Obsession.

My Body Rises With The Water. Instead Of Kicking My Feet To Stay Abreast Of It, I Push All The Air From My Lungs And Sink To The Bottom. The Water Muffles My Ears. I Feel Its Movement Over My Face. I Think About Snorting The Water Into My Lungs So It Kills Me Faster, But I Can't Bring Myself To Do It. I Blow Bubbles From My Mouth. Relax. I Close My Eyes. My Lungs Burn.

The Floor Is Solid Metal In Some Places And Metal Grating In Others. Everything Smells Like Rotting Garbage And Fire. "don't Say I Never Took You Anywhere Nice," Peter Says. "wouldn't Dream Of It," I Say.

That Night We Push Our Cots Just A Little Closer Together, And Look Into Each Other's Eyes In The Moments Before We Fall Asleep. When He Finally Drifts Off, Our Fingers Are Twisted Together In The Space Between The Beds. I Smile A Little, And Let Myself Go.

I Settle Into Their Pace. The Uniform Pounding Of Feet In My Ears And The Homogeneity Of The People Around Me Makes Me Believe That I Could Choose This. I Could Be Subsumed Into Abnegation’s Hive Mind, Projecting Always Outward.

I'm Divergent. And I Can't Be Controlled.

You Know What Abnegation Used To Say About Pride?' 'something Unfavorable,i Assume.' I Laugh.' Obviously. They Said It Blinds People To The Truth Of What They Are.

Sometimes Crying Or Laughing Are The Only Options Left, And Laughing Feels Better Right Now.

Four: Be Brave Tris. The First Time Is Always The Hardest.

You Think Giving You A Hug Would Give Away Too Much?" He Says. "you Know," I Say. "i Really Don't Care." I Stand On My Tiptoes And Press My Lips To His. It Is The Best Moment Of My Life.

Sometimes It Isn't Fighting That's Brave, Its Facing The Death You Know Is Coming.

I Read Somewhere, One, That Crying Defies Scientific Explanation. Tears Are Only Meant To Lubricate The Eyes. There Is No Real Reason For Tear Glands To Overproduce Tears At The Behest Of Emotion. I Think We Cry To Release The Animal Parts Of Us Without Losing Our Humanity. Because Inside Of Me Is A Beast That Snarls, And Growls, And Strains Toward Freedom, Toward Tobias, And, Above All, Towards Life. And As Hard As I Try, I Cannot Kill It.

Let The Guilt Teach You How To Behave Next Time.

Maybe Forgiveness Is Just The Continual Pushing Aside Of Bitter Memories, Until Time Dulls The Hurt And Anger, And The Wrong Is Forgotten.

Becoming Fearless Isn't The Point. That's Impossible. It's Learning How To Control Your Fear, And How To Be Free From It.

That's Why You Like Me!' I Exclaim. 'because You're Not Nice Either! It Makes So Much More Sense Now.' 'come On,' He Says. 'we're Going To See Johanna.' 'i Like You, Too.' 'that's Encouraging,' He Replies Flatly. 'come On. Oh For God's Sake. I'll Just Carry You.

Pride Blinds People To The Truth Of What They Are.

He Gives Me A Conflicted Look And Touches His Lips To My Forehead, Right Between My Eyebrows. I Close My Eyes. I Don't Understand This, Whatever It Is. But I Don't Want To Ruin It, So I Say Nothing. He Doesn't Move; He Just Stays There With His Mouth Pressed To My Skin, And I Stay There With My Hands On His Waist, For A Long Time.

Today You Will Choose Your Factions. Until This Point You Have Followed Your Parents’ Paths, Your Parents’ Rules. Today You Will Find Your Own Path, Make Your Own Rules.

His Absence Will Haunt Their Hallways, And He Will Be A Space They Can't Fill. And Then Time Will Pass, And The Hole Will Be Gone, Like When An Organ Is Removed And The Body's Fluids Flow Into The Space It Leaves. Humans Can't Tolerate Emptiness For Long.

I Feel Myself Acting Like A Lunatic, But I Can't Stop. It Would Be Like Refusing To Breathe.

I Feel Empty, Not Because Of Sadness, But Because Of Relief, All The Tension Flowing Out Of Me.

From One Tyrant To Another. That Is The World We Know, Now

We Believe In Shouting For Those Who Can Only Whisper, In Defending Those Who Cannot Defend Themselves.

I Don't Have A Bullet In My Head, Do I? So I'm Fine.

For A Few Minutes We Kiss, Deep In The Chasm, With The Roar Of Water All Around Us. And We Rise, Hand In Hand, I Realize That If We Had Both Chosen Differently, We Might Have Ended Up Doing The Same Thing, In A Safer Place, In Gray Clothes Instead Of Black Ones.

It's Not About Being Fearless, It's About Acting In Spite Of Fear

I See A Few Hands Stretching Out To Me At The Edge Of The Net, So I Grabbed The First One I Could Reach And Pull Myself Across. I Roll Off, And Would Have Fallen Face-first Onto A Wood Floor If He Had Not Caught Me. "he" Is The Young Man Attached To The Hand I Grabbed. He Has A Spare Upper Lip And A Full Lower Lip. His Eyes Are So Deep-set That His Eyelashes Touch The Skin Under His Eyebrows, And They Are Dark Blue, A Dreaming, Sleeping, Waiting Color.

"what Did You Do?” This Time The Question Tears From My Throat Like A Growl. I Throw Myself Toward Him. “what Did You Do?” I Scream. “you Die, I Die Too. I Asked You Not To Do This. You Made Your Decision. These Are The Repercussions."

Just As I Have Insisted On His Worth, He Has Always Insisted On My Strength, Insisted That My Capacity Is Greater Than I Believe. And I Know, Without Being Told, That's What Love Does, When It's Right-it Makes You More Than You Were, More Than You Thought You Could Be. This Is Right.

Evil Depends On Where You're Standing.

My Name Will Be Edith Proir," She Says. "and There Is Much I Am Happy To Forget.

I Have A Theory That Selflessness And Bravery Aren't All That Different.

For God's Sake, Stiff," He Says. "you Don't Have To Follow Me," I Say Staring At The Maze Of Bars Above Me. I Shove My Foot Onto The Place Where Two Bars Cross And Push Myself Up, Grabbing Another Bar In The Process. I Sway For A Second, My Heart Beating So Hard I Can't Feel Anything Else. Every Thought I Have Condenses Into That Heartbeat, Moving At The Same Rhythm. "yes, I Do," He Says.

It's Strange To See People You Don't Know Well In The Morning, With Sleepy Eyes And Pillow Creases In Their Cheeks

Nature Is Neutral. Nature Doesn't Care How Much Money A Person Makes.

Out Of My Peripheral Vision, I See Four Shove The Door Open And Walk Out. Apparently This Fight Isn't Interesting Enough For Him. Or Maybe He's Going To Figure Out Why Everything's Spinning Like A Top, And I Don't Blame Him; I Want To Know The Answer Too.

But Now, I Am Also Learning This: We Can Be Mended. We Mend Each Other.

I Need The Protection Of Seeming Weak.

And I Provide Much- Needed Eye Candy.

I Started Writing Because I Decided I Was Too Old To Play Pretend In The Backyard. Then I Found That I Could Create Those Imaginary Worlds On The Page.

I Imagine The Wave Of Water Colliding With The Rock And Spilling Over The Tile Floor, Collecting Around My Shoes. Doing A Little At Once Can Fix Something, Eventually, But I Feel Like When You Believe That Something Is Truly A Problem, You Throw Everything You Have At It, Because You Just Can’t Help Yourself.

I Touch Her Cheek To Slow The Kiss Down, Holding Her Mouth On Mine So I Can Feel Every Place Where Our Lips Touch And Every Place Where They Pull Away. I Savor The Air We Share In The Second Afterwards And The Slip Of Her Nose Across Mine. I Think Of Something To Say, But It Is Too Intimate, So I Swallow It. A Moment Later I Decide I Don't Care. "i Wish We Were Alone," I Say As I Back Out Of The Cell. She Smiles. "i Almost Always Wish That.

I Laugh, Mirthless, A Mad Laugh. I Savor The Scowl On Her Face, The Hate In Her Eyes. She Was Like A Machine; She Was Cold And Emotionless, Bound By Logic Alone. And I Broke Her.

Do The Elevators Work?" I Ask Uriah, As Quietly As I Can. "sure They Do." Says Zeke, Rolling His Eyes, "you Think I'm Stupid Enough Not To Come Here Early And Turn On The Emergency Generator?" "yeah," Says Uriah. "i Kinda Do.

If I Let A Little Of The Emotion Out, All Of It Will Come Out, And It Will Never End.

But There's So Much That Was A Lie, It's Hard To Figure Out What Was True, What Was Real, What Matters.

It Reminds Me That No Embrace Will Ever Feel The Same Again, Because No One Will Ever Be Like Her Again, Because She's Gone. She's Gone, And Crying Feels So Useless, So Stupid, But It's All I Can Do.

I'm Going To Stop A Revolution,'' I Say. I Turn Right, And Peter Follows Me.

I Came Here So That No One Else Would Die. I Came Here To Protect As Many People As I Could. And I Care More About Tobias's Safety Than Anyone Else's. So Why Am I Here, If He's Here? What's The Point?

Somewhere Inside Me Is A Merciful, Forgiving Person. Somewhere There Is A Girl Who Tries To Understand What People Are Going Through, Who Accepts That People Do Evil Things And That Desperation Leads Them To Darker Places Than They Ever Imagined, I Swear She Exists, And She Hurts For The Repentant Boy I See In Front Of Me. But If I Saw Her, I Wouldn't Recognize Her.

I Wonder How I Seem To Them. They Must See Someone I Don't See. Someone Capable And Strong. Someone I Can't Be; Someone I Can Be.

The Division Is Based On Knowledge, Based On Qualifications - But As I Learned From The Factionless, A System That Relies On A Group Of Uneducated People To Do Its Dirty Work Without Giving Them A Way To Rise Is Hardly Fair.

"but Please, When You See An Opportunity..." He Presses His Hand To My Cheek, Cold And Strong, And Tilts My Head Up So I Have To Look At Him. His Eyes Glint. They Almost Look Predatory. "ruin Them."

Before I Chose Dauntless...i Felt Assured Of My Long Lifespan, If Nothing Else. Now There Are No Reassurances Except That Where I Go, I Go Because I Choose To.

I Think That You Are The Liar!" I Say, My Voice Quaking. "you Tell Me You Love Me, You Trust Me, You Think I'm More Perceptive Than The Average Person. And The First Second That Belief In My Perceptiveness, That Trust, That Love Is Put To The Test, It Falls Apart." I Am Crying Now, But I Am Not Ashamed Of The Tears Shining On My Cheeks Or The Thickness Of My Voice. "so You Must Have Lied When You Told Me All Those Things... You Must Have, Because I Can't Believe Your Love Is Really That Feeble.

It Seems Like The Rebellions Never Stop, In The City, In The Compound, Anywhere. There Are Just Breaths Between Them, And Foolishly, We Call Those Breaths “peace".

I Know I Belong In Dauntless Because Everything I Did In That Aptitude Test Told Me So. I'm Loyal To My Faction For That Reason -- Because There's Nowhere Else I Could Possibly Be. But Her? And You?" She Shakes Her Head. "i Have No Idea Who You're Loyal To. And I'm Not Going To Pretend Like Everything's Okay.

We Can't Be Confined To One Way Of Thinking, And That Terrifies Our Leaders. It Means We Can't Be Controlled. And It Means That No Matter What They Do, We Will Always Cause Trouble For Them.

It Doesn't Take Skill To Stand In A Place Were No Bullets Find You, Or To Fire Into The Dark And Hit A Man You Didn't See.

I Respect You More Than Anyone. But Right Now I’m Wondering What Bothers You More, That I Made A Stupid Decision Or That I Didn’t Make Your Decision.

Before She Got Here Everything Had Stalled Inside Me, And Every Morning I Was Just Moving Toward Nighttime.

That's The First Time I've Ever Said Those Words Out Loud, And Now I Hear How Strange They Are. How Many Young Men Fear That There Is A Monster Instead Them? People Are Supposed To Fear Others, Not Themselves.

I Was So Afraid That We Would Just Keep Colliding Over And Over Again If We Stayed Together, And That Eventually The Impact Would Break Me. But Now I Know I Am Like The Blade And He Is Like The Whetstone- I Am Too Strong To Break So Easily, And I Become Better, Sharper, Every Time I Touch Him.

Politeness Is Deception In Pretty Packaging.

Beatrice. We Should Think Of Our Family. But. But We Must Also Think Of Ourselves.

Decades Ago, Our Ancestors Realized That It Is Not Just Political Ideology, Religious Belief, Race, Or Nationalism That Is To Blame For A Warring World. Rather, They Determined That It Was The Fault Of Human Personality - Of Humankind's Inclination Towards Evil, In Whatever Form That Is. They Divided Into Factions That Sought To Eradicate Those Qualities They Believed Responsible For The World's Disarray.

People, Even Genetically Damaged People, Make Choices. That’s What Matters.’

To Me, When Someone Wrongs You, You Both Share The Burden Of That Wrongdoing - The Pain Of It Weighs On Both Of You. Forgiveness, Then, Means Choosing To Bear The Full Weight All By Yourself. Caleb's Betrayal Is Something We Both Carry, And Since He Did It, All I've Wanted Is For Him To Take Its Weight Away From Me. I Am Not Sure That I'm Capable Of Shouldering It All Myself - Not Sure That I Am Strong Enough, Or Good Enough.

Can You Be A Girl For A Few Seconds?" "i'm Always A Girl" I Frown. "you Know What I Mean. Like A Silly, Annoying Girl" I Twirl My Hair Around My Finger. "kay.

I Wonder If This Is How Is Is With All Evil Men, That To Someone, They Look Just Like Good Men, Talk Like Good Men, Are Just As Likable As Good Men.

Our Eyes Meet. I Hear A Train Horn, So Faint It Could Be Wind Whistling Through An Alleyway. But I Know It When I Hear It. It Sounds Like The Dauntless, Calling Me To To Them.

He Touches My Face, Covering My Cheeks With His Hands, Sliding His Fingertips Down My Neck, Fitting His Fingers To The Slight Curve Of My Hips. I Can't Stop.

But Now I Know How Large The World Is... Well. I Suppose I Have Grown To Large Out Of My Faction. As A Consequence.

I Am A Naturally Curious Person. -tris

So You're Her Brother? Says Linn. I Guess We Know Who Got The Good Genes.

I Just Wanted To Thank You' He Says, His Voice Low. 'a Group Of Scientists Told You That My Genes Were Damaged, That There Was Something Wrong With Me - They Showed You The Test Results That Proved It. And Even I Started To Believe It.' He Touches My Face, His Thumb Skimming My Cheekbone, And His Eyes Are On Mine, Intense And Insistent. 'you Never Believed It,' He Says 'not For A Second. You Always Insisted I Was... I Don't Know, Whole.

In My Own Relationships, I Know That I Should Break Up With Someone Who Doesn't Encourage Me To Be Strong And Make My Own Choices And Do What's Best In My Life, So If You're Dating Someone Who Doesn't Want You To Be The Best Person You Can Be, You Shouldn't Be Dating Them.

Cute Relationship

Looking Away Is Submissive. Looking [..] In The Eye Is A Challenge.

I Feel Like What I Have Become Is Halfway Between My Mother And My Father, Violent And Impulsive And Desperate And Afraid. I Feel Like I Have Lost Control Of What I Have Become.

I’d Ask You To Hang Out With Us, But You’re Not Supposed To See Me This Way.’… ‘what Way?’ I Ask. ‘drunk?’ ‘yeah…well, No.’ His Voice Softens. ‘real, I Guess.’ ‘i’ll Pretend I Didn’t.’ ‘nice Of You.’ He Puts His Lips Next To My Ear And Says, ‘you Look Good, Tris.’… I Laugh. ‘do Me A Favor And Stay Away From The Chasm, Okay?’ ‘of Course.’ He Winks At Me.

My Tris Should Look Pale And Small--she Is Pale And Small, After All--but Instead The Room Is Full Of Her.

Suicide To Them Is An Act Of Selfishness. Someone Who Is Truly Selfless Does Not Think Of Himself Often Enough To Desire Death.

It Is Impossible To Erase My Choices.

Maybe Time Would Not Feel As Heavy If I Didn't Have This Guilt -- The Guilt Of Knowing The Truth And Stuffing It Down Where No One Can See It, Not Even Tobias. Maybe I Should Not Be So Afraid Of Saying Anything, Because Honesty Will Make Me Feel Lighter.

I Do Trust You, Is What I Want To Say. But It Isn't True -- I Didn't Trust Him To Love Me Despite The Terrible Things I Had Done. I Don't Trust Anyone To Do That, But That Isn't His Problem; It's Mine.

Can You Tell Me Where To Find Tobias'? I Ask. When I Imagine His Face, Affection For Him Bubbles Up Inside Of Me And All I Want To Do Is Kiss Him. 'four, I Mean. He's So Handsome, Isn't He? I Don't Really Understand Why He Likes Me So Much. I'm Not Very Nice, Am I?' -tris

Be Careful, Though." "aren't I Always?" "no, I Think The Word For How You Usually Are Is 'reckless.

I Love The Wikipedia Link Chain Because It Has Led Me Into Some Strange Articles. Wikipedia Is One Of My Favorites.

I've Done Without Doing Things, Like Sleeping And Eating, But I Need To Write.

We Believe That Preparation Eradicates Cowardice, Which We Define As The Failure To Act In The Midst Of Fear.

I Think He Came To Die With Me," I Say. I Clamp My Hand Over My Mouth To Stifle A Sob. If I Can Keep Breathing, I Can Stop Crying. I Didn't Need Or Want Him To Die With Me. I Wanted To Keep Him Safe. What An Idiot, I Think, But My Heart Isn't In It. "that's Ridiculous," He Says. "that Doesn't Make Any Sense. He's Eighteen; He'll Find Another Girlfriend Once You're Dead. And He's Stupid If He Doesn't Know That." Tears Run Down My Cheeks, Hot At First And Then Cold. I Close My Eyes. "if You Think That's What It's About..." I Swallow Another Sob. "...you're The Stupid One.

I Like To Think I'm Helping Them By Hating Them. I'm Reminding Them That They Aren't God's Gift To Humankind.

Independent And Uninvolved. Must Be Nice. -tris

There Are So Many Ways To Be Brave In This World. Sometimes Bravery Involves Laying Down Your Life For Something Bigger Than Yourself, Or For Someone Else. Sometimes It Involves Giving Up Everything You Have Ever Known, Or Everyone You Have Ever Loved, For The Sake Of Something Greater. But Sometimes It Doesn't. Sometimes It Is Nothing More Than Gritting Your Teeth Through Pain, And The Work Of Every Day, The Slow Walk Toward A Better Life. That Is The Sort Of Bravery I Must Have Now.

It Isn’t Right To Wish Pain On Other People Just Because They Hurt Me First.

It's Stupid To Miss A Thing When There Are So Many People To Miss Instead, But I Miss This Train Already, And All The Others That Carried Me Through The City, My City, After I Was Brave Enough To Ride Them. I Brush My Fingers Over The Car Wall, Just Once, And Then Jump.

You Chose Us. Now We Have To Choose You.

I Do Know Who You Are. I Just Needed To Be Reminded.

Sorry, Am I Being Rude?" She Asks. "i'm Used To Saying Whatever Is On My Mind. Mom Used To Say That Politeness Is Deception In Pretty Packaging

I Could Never Hurt Him Enough To Make His Betrayal Stop Hurting. And It Hurts, In Every Part Of My Body.

Noise And Activity Are The Refuges Of The Bereaved And The Guilty.

Since He Saved Me From The Attack, I Have Associated His Smell With Safety, So As Long As I Focus On It, I Feel Safe Now.

It Doesn't Prove Anything Except That You're Bullying Us. Which, As I Recall, Is A Sign Of Cowardice.

It's Not Sacrifice If It's Someone Else's Life You're Giving Away, It's Just Evil.

God Tris, Are You Even Human?

You Don’t Always Have To Smack People In The Face With How Strong You Are

Cruelty Does Not Make A Person Dishonest, The Same Way Bravery Does Not Make A Person Kind.

I Should Probably Be Afraid. But Instead A Hysterical Laugh Bubbles Inside Me, Because I Just Remembered Something: Maybe I Can’t Hold A Gun. But I Have A Knife In My Back Pocket.

It's What You Deserve To Hear," I Say Firmly, My Eyes Going Cloudy With Tears. "that You're Whole, That You're Worth Loving, That You're The Best Person I've Ever Known.

What You Deserve

It Must Be Because You're So Approachable", I Say Flatly. "you Know, Like A Bed Of Nails." He Stares At Me, And I Don't Look Away. He Isn't A Dog But The Same Rules Apply. Looking Away Is Submissive. Looking Him In The Eye Is A Challenge. It's My Choice. Heat Rushes Into My Cheeks. What Will Happen When This Tension Breaks? But He Just Says, "careful, Tris.

Which Means That In Order To Defeat Her, I Have To Think Of A Way To Defeat Myself. And How Can I Be A Better Fighter Than Myself, If She Knows The Same Strategies I Know, And Is Exactly As Resourceful And Clever As I Am?

My Problem Might Be That Even If I Did Go Home, I Wouldn’t Belong There, Among People Who Give Without Thinking And Care Without Trying.

I Try To Catch My Breath And Calm Myself Down, But It Isn't Easy. I Was Dead. I Was Dead, And Then I Wasn't, And Why? Because Of Peter? Peter? I Stare At Him. He Still Looks So Innocent, Despite All That He Has Done To Prove That He Is Not. His Hair Lies Smooth Against His Head, Shiny And Dark, Like We Didn't Just Run For A Mile At Full Speed. His Round Eyes Scan The Stairwell And Then Rest On My Face. "what?" He Says. "why Are You Looking At Me Like That?" " How Did You Do It?" I Say.

All I Want To Say Is That When You Stop Being Delusional And Start Feeling Desperate Because You're Too Inept To Figure This Out On Your Own, You Know Who To Come To.

What's This About Flashing Underwear?" Says Uriah, Sidestepping A Bunk. "whatever It Is, I'm In.

What Is Wrong With You?' I Shake My Head. 'pull It Together.' And That's What It Feels Like: Pulling The Different Parts Of Me Up And In Like A Shoelace. I Feel Suffocated, But At Least I Feel Strong.

I Wake Wondering How I Did Not Notice, Every Day I Sat Across From Her At The Breakfast Table, That She Was Full To Bursting With Dauntless Energy. Was It Because She Hid It Well? Or Was It Because I Wasn't Looking?

Cowardice Is How You Decide To Be In Real Life

I Suppose That Now Would Be The Time To Ask For Forgiveness For All The Things I've Done, But I'm Sure My List Would Never Be Complete. I Also Don't Believe That Whatever Comes After Life Depends On My Correctly Reciting A List Of My Transgressions...i Don't Believe That What Comes After Depends On Anything I Do At All.

Sleep,” He Says. “i'll Fight The Bad Dreams Off If They Come To Get You.” “with What?” “my Bare Hands, Obviously.

He Slides His Hand Over My Cheek, One Finger Anchored Behind My Ear. Then He Tilts His Head Down And Kisses Me, Sending A Warm Ache Through My Body. I Wrap My Hands Around His Arm, Holding Him There As Long As I Can. When He Touches Me, The Hollowed-out Feeling In My Chest And Stomach Is Not As Noticeable.

So This Is Where You Grew Up. Did You Like It Here? I Guess You Couldn't Have, If You Wanted To Leave.' Christina 'i Liked Some Things And Hated Some Things. And There Were Some Things I Didn't Know I Had Until I Lost Them.' Tris

I Wish We Were Alone,” He Says. “i Almost Always Wish That,” I Say.

He Kisses Me Again, More Insistent This Time, His Hands Squeezing My Waist. His Breaths, His Body, My Body, We Are So Close There Is No Difference.

Whoa There, Tobias," Says The Man To My Left. "weren't You Raised A Stiff? I Thought The Most You People Did Was... Graze Hands Or Something." "then How Do You Explain All The Abnegation Children?" Tobias Raises His Eyebrows. "they Are Brought Into Being By Sheer Force Of Will," The Woman On The Arm Of The Chair Interjects. "didn't You Know That, Tobias?" "no, I Wasn't Aware." He Grins. "my Apologies.

Sometimes You Just Need To Talk To Someone Who Is Detached From You. They Just Listen To What You Tell Them And You Get To Form The Way That They See You, Whereas Everyone Else In Your Life Already Thinks They Know What You're Dealing With Or What You're Going Through. That's My Recommendation For Actual Anxiety.

I Smirk As Peter Misses Again. I Can't Help Myself. "hey, Peter," I Say, " Remember What A Target Is?

Not Like Tobias, Who Is Almost Shy When He Smiles, Like He Is Surprised You Bothered To Look At Him In The First Place.

The Fire, The Fire. It Rages Within, A Campfire And Then An Inferno, And My Body Is Its Fuel. I Feel It Racing Through Me, Eating Away At The Weight. There Is Nothing That Can Kill Me Now; I Am Powerful And Invincible And Eternal.

I Love You." He Frowns. "say It Again." "tobias," I Say. "i Love You.

I Do Like To Hit People-i Like The Explosion Of Power And Energy, And The Feeling That I Am Untouchable Because I Can Hurt People. But I Hate That Part Of Myself, Because It Is The Part Of Me That Is The Most Broken

But When You Kill Someone You Love, The Hard Part Is Never Over. It Just Gets Easier To Distract Yourself From What You've Done.

Someone You Love

How Have I Never Realized Before That For All The Strong, Kind Parts Of Him, There Are Also Hurting, Broken Parts?

Little Girl, He Called Me. A Little Girl Who Is Stressed Out To The Point Of Paranoia. That Is Not Me, But Now, It's Who The Candor Think I Am.

That Is Death - Shifting From "is" To "was.

It's Not Cruelty, Maybe, But A Desire To Understand That Motivates Them.

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