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There's A Reason Why She Left Them, Lauren," He Says. His Voice Is Deep, And It Rumbles. "what's Your Name?" "um..." I Don't Know Why I Hesitate. But "beatrice" Just Doesn't Sound Right Anymore. "think About It," He Says, A Faint Smile Curling His Lips. " You Don't Get To Pick Again." A New Place, A New Name. I Can Be Remade Here. "tris," I Say Firmly.

-Veronica Roth

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There's A Reason Why

Veronica Roth

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There's A Reason Why She Left Them, Lauren," He Says. His Voice Is Deep, And It Rumbles. "what's Your Name?" "um..." I Don't Know Why I Hesitate. But "beatrice" Just Doesn't Sound Right Anymore. "think About It," He Says, A Faint Smile Curling His Lips. " You Don't Get To Pick Again." A New Place, A New Name. I Can Be Remade Here. "tris," I Say Firmly.

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I Don't Really Control The Story. I Just Let It Go Where It Wants To Go. I Have No Idea What's Going To Happen In The End Or Who's Going To Live, So It's Kind Of Like Me Saying, "i Don't Know, Guys! Just Wait." That's What I'm Doing!

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It Must Be Because You're So Approachable", I Say Flatly. "you Know, Like A Bed Of Nails." He Stares At Me, And I Don't Look Away. He Isn't A Dog But The Same Rules Apply. Looking Away Is Submissive. Looking Him In The Eye Is A Challenge. It's My Choice. Heat Rushes Into My Cheeks. What Will Happen When This Tension Breaks? But He Just Says, "careful, Tris.

Some People Believe That I Will Go Nowhere, And Maybe They're Right, But Maybe They're Not.

We May Both Be Bad, But There’s A Huge Difference Between Us—i’m Not Content With Being This Way.

Color Fills Her Cheeks, And I Think It Again: That Johanna Reyes Might Still Be Beautiful. Except Now I Think That She Isn't Just Beautiful In Spite Of The Scar, She's Somehow Beautiful With It, Like Lynn With Her Buzzed Hair, Like Tobias With The Memories Of His Father's Cruelty That He Wears Like Armor, Like My Mother In Her Plain Gray Clothing.

I Take A Deep Breath. I'm Not Sure Where That Swell Of Desperation Came From, But Know That I've Acknowledge It, It's Impossible To Ignore, Like A Living Thing Has Awakened From A Long Sleep Inside Me. It Writhes In My Stomach And Throat. I Need To Leave. I Need The Truth.

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What's Your Name? Um... Think About It. You Don't Get To Pick Again. Tris.

You Nearly Died Today,' He Says. 'i Almost Shot You. Why Didn't You Shoot Me, Tris?' 'i Couldn't Do That,' I Say. 'it Would Have Been Like Shooting Myself.' He Looks Pained And Leans Closer To Me, So His Lips Brush Mine When He Speaks.

You Think My First Instinct Is To Protect You. Because You're Small, Or A Girl, Or A Stiff. But You're Wrong." He Leans His Face Close To Mine And Wraps His Fingers Around My Chin. His Hand Smells Like Metal. When Was The Last Time He Held A Gun, Or A Knife? My Skin Tingles At The Point Of Contact, Like He's Transmitting Electricity Through His Skin. "my First Instinct Is To Push You Until You Break, Just To See How Hard I Have To Press." He Says, His Fingers Squeezing At The Word Break. My Body Tenses At The Edge In His Voice, So I Am Coiled As Tight As A Spring, And I Forget To Breathe.

I Try To Catch My Breath And Calm Myself Down, But It Isn't Easy. I Was Dead. I Was Dead, And Then I Wasn't, And Why? Because Of Peter? Peter? I Stare At Him. He Still Looks So Innocent, Despite All That He Has Done To Prove That He Is Not. His Hair Lies Smooth Against His Head, Shiny And Dark, Like We Didn't Just Run For A Mile At Full Speed. His Round Eyes Scan The Stairwell And Then Rest On My Face. "what?" He Says. "why Are You Looking At Me Like That?" " How Did You Do It?" I Say.

Whoa There, Tobias," Says The Man To My Left. "weren't You Raised A Stiff? I Thought The Most You People Did Was... Graze Hands Or Something." "then How Do You Explain All The Abnegation Children?" Tobias Raises His Eyebrows. "they Are Brought Into Being By Sheer Force Of Will," The Woman On The Arm Of The Chair Interjects. "didn't You Know That, Tobias?" "no, I Wasn't Aware." He Grins. "my Apologies.

Psyche You Out?" I Repeat. "i'm Your Friend. I Wouldn't Do That." He Doesn't Say Anything. I Can Tell He Doesn't Believe Me-not Quite.

I Just Wanted To Thank You' He Says, His Voice Low. 'a Group Of Scientists Told You That My Genes Were Damaged, That There Was Something Wrong With Me - They Showed You The Test Results That Proved It. And Even I Started To Believe It.' He Touches My Face, His Thumb Skimming My Cheekbone, And His Eyes Are On Mine, Intense And Insistent. 'you Never Believed It,' He Says 'not For A Second. You Always Insisted I Was... I Don't Know, Whole.

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Passage Of Time

I Think I Speak For Everyone," He Says, "when I Say You Have Earned The Title Of Dauntless".

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Morning," I Say. "shh," She Says. "if You Don't Acknowledge It, Maybe It Will Go Away.

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He Holds My Face In Both Hands And Kisses Me Back. I Press Into The Distance Between Us Until It Is Gone, Crushing The Secrets We Have Kept And The Suspicions We Have Harbored-for Good, I Hope.

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They All Laugh. We All Laugh. And It Occurs To Me That I Might Be Meeting Tobias's True Faction. They Are Not Characterized By A Particular Virtue. They Claim All Colors, All Activities, All Virtues, And All Flaws As Their Own.

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I Don't Have A Bullet In My Head, Do I? So I'm Fine.

I Reach Out And Take His Hand. His Fingers Slide Between Mine. I Can't Breathe.

Then His Eyes Focus On Something Over My Shoulder, And He Starts Walking. I Turn To See Uriah Jogging From The Elevator Bank. He Is Grinning. “heard A Rumor You Were A Dirty Traitor,” Uriah Says. “yeah, Whatever,” Says Zeke. They Collide In An Embrace That Looks Almost Painful To Me, Slapping Each Other’s Backs And Laughing With Their Fists Clasped Between Them.

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It Is A Gift. You Cannot Earn It, Or It Ceases To Be A Gift.

Sometimes Crying Or Laughing Are The Only Options Left, And Laughing Feels Better Right Now.

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There's A Reason Why She Left Them, Lauren," He Says. His Voice Is Deep, And It Rumbles. "what's Your Name?" "um..." I Don't Know Why I Hesitate. But "beatrice" Just Doesn't Sound Right Anymore. "think About It," He Says, A Faint Smile Curling His Lips. " You Don't Get To Pick Again." A New Place, A New Name. I Can Be Remade Here. "tris," I Say Firmly.

That Dot Covers All The Places We've Ever Been. You Could Cut That Piece Of Land Out Of The Ground And Sing It Into This Ocean And No One Would Even Notice. I Feel That Fear Again, The Fear Of My Own Size. 'right. So?' 'so? So Everything I've Ever Worried About Or Said Or Done, How Can It Possibly Matter?' He Shakes His Head. 'it Doesn't.' 'of Course It Does,' I Say, 'all That Land Is Filled With People, Every One Of Them Different, And The Things They Do To Each Other Matter.

I Ignore My Fear. When I Make Decisions, I Pretend It Doesn't Exist.

I Wish I Could Say I Felt Guilty For What I Did. I Don't.

But When I Do Feel All The Strength Go Out Of Me, And I Fall To My Knees Beside The Table And I Think I Cry, Then, Or At Least I Want To, And Everything Inside Me Screams For Just One More Kiss, One More Word, One More Glance, One More.

You Think Giving You A Hug Would Give Away Too Much?" He Says. "you Know," I Say. "i Really Don't Care." I Stand On My Tiptoes And Press My Lips To His. It Is The Best Moment Of My Life.

No Factions? A World In Which No One Knows Who They Are Or Where They Fit? I Can't Even Fathom It. I Imagine Only Chaos And Isolation.

I Am A Child. I Am Two Feet Tall, And Asking If She Loves Me.

We Could Visit Him," Suggests Will. "but What Would We Say? 'i Didn't Know You That Well, But I'm Sorry You Got Stabbed In The Eye'?

If Eric Thinks I Did Something Right, I Must Have Done It Wrong.

I Know Some Things--i Know That I'm Not Alone, That I Have Friends, That I'm In Love. I Know That I Don't Want To Die, And For Me That's Something--more Than I Could Have Said A Few Weeks Ago.

In Order To Have Peace, We Must First Have Trust.

Trust Me When I Tell You, Eaton Boy, That Resisting Is Worth Doing.

I Don't Want To Try To Live Up To Someone Who's Created Something So Incredible. I'm Just Trying To Focus On What I'm Doing And What I Do Best. It's Sometimes Hard To Focus In And Only Think About My Books Rather Than How They Measure Up To Someone Else's.

I Used To Think That Cruelty Required Malice, But That Is Not True. Jeanine Has No Reason To Act Out Of Malice. But She Is Cruel Because She Doesn't Care What She Does, As Long As It Fascinates Her. I May As Well Be A Puzzle Or A Broken Machine She Wants To Fix. She Will Break Open My Skull Just To See The Inner Workings Of My Brain; I Will Die Here, And That Will Be The Merciful Thing.

Do The Elevators Work?" I Ask Uriah, As Quietly As I Can. "sure They Do." Says Zeke, Rolling His Eyes, "you Think I'm Stupid Enough Not To Come Here Early And Turn On The Emergency Generator?" "yeah," Says Uriah. "i Kinda Do.

It's Not Cruelty, Maybe, But A Desire To Understand That Motivates Them.

We're All Right, You Know,' He Says Quietly. 'you And Me. Okay?' My Chest Aches, And I Nod. 'nothing Else Is All Right.' His Whisper Tickles My Cheek. 'but We Are.

Every Question That Can Be Answered Must Beanswered Or At Least Engaged. Illogical Thought Processes Must Bechallenged When They Arise.wrong Answers Must Be Corrected.correct Answers Must Be Affirmed. —from The Erudite Faction Manifesto

This Is Bizarre," I Say. "i Think It's Beautiful," He Says. I Give Him A Look. "what?" He Laughs A Little. "they Each Have An Equal Role In Government; They Each Feel Equally Responsible. And It Makes Them Care; It Makes Them Kind. I Think That's Beautiful.

What Makes You Different, Makes You Dangerous.

Fear Doesn't Shut You Down; It Wakes You Up

What Do--" Tobias's Voice. Tobias! "oh My God. Oh--" "spare Me Your Blubbering, Okay? Peter Says. "she's Not Dead; She's Just Paralyzed. It'll Only Last For About A Minute. Now Get Ready To Run." I Don't Understand. How Does Peter Know? "let Me Carry Her," Tobias Says. "no. You're A Better Shot Than I Am. Take My Gun. I'll Carry Her.

I Tell Myself, As Sternly As Possible, That Is How Things Work Here. We Do Dangerous Things And People Die. People Die, And We Move On To The Next Dangerous Thing. The Sooner That Lesson Sinks In, The Better Chance I Have At Surviving Initiation.

I Want People To Come Away From My Book With Questions. Questions About Virtue And Goodness. Not Answers.

A Dauntless Ferris Wheel Wouldn’t Have Cars. You Would Just Hang On Tight With Your Hands, And Good Luck To You.

I Think About Pressing Myself Against Him, But I Can't, Because All Our Secrets Would Keep A Space Between Us.

One Choice One Choice, Decided Your Friends. One Choice, Defines Your Beliefs. One Choice, Determines Your Loyalties - Forever. Once Choice Can Transform You

It's Not Sacrifice If It's Someone Else's Life You're Giving Away, It's Just Evil.

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This Is How We Came By Our Factions: Candor, Erudite, Amity, Abnegation And Dauntless." Max Smiles. "in Them We Find Administrators And Teachers And Counselors And Leaders And Protectors. In Them We Find Our Sense Of Belonging, Our Sense Of Community, Our Very Lives.

So How Can I Hold Tobias’s Desperation Against Him, Like I’m Better Than Him, Like I’ve Never Let My Own Brokenness Blind Me?

I Think He Came To Die With Me," I Say. I Clamp My Hand Over My Mouth To Stifle A Sob. If I Can Keep Breathing, I Can Stop Crying. I Didn't Need Or Want Him To Die With Me. I Wanted To Keep Him Safe. What An Idiot, I Think, But My Heart Isn't In It. "that's Ridiculous," He Says. "that Doesn't Make Any Sense. He's Eighteen; He'll Find Another Girlfriend Once You're Dead. And He's Stupid If He Doesn't Know That." Tears Run Down My Cheeks, Hot At First And Then Cold. I Close My Eyes. "if You Think That's What It's About..." I Swallow Another Sob. "...you're The Stupid One.

"i'll Be Your Family Now," He Says.

Let Me Get This Straight. So You Left The Dauntless Compound To Get Ready For War... And Took Your Makeup Bag With You?" "yep. Figured It Would Be Harder For Anyone To Shoot Me If They Saw How Devastatingly Attractive I Was.

By The Time We Leave, I Have Red Lips And Curled Eyelashes, And I’m Wearing A Bright Red Dress. And There’s A Knife Strapped To The Inside Of My Knee. This All Makes Perfect Sense.

You Were Afraid Of Shooting People?" "no," I Say. "i Was Afraid Of My Considerable Capacity To Kill." How Many Young Men Fear That There Is A Monster Inside Of Them?

Leaving Us With Eric Is Like Hiring A Babysitter Who Spends His Time Sharpening Knives.

But I Think That No Matter How Smart, People Usually See What They're Already Looking For, That's All.

It Is More Important For You To Be Safe Than Right, For The Time Being. Understand? (...) But Please, When You See An Opportunity...ruin Them

You're The One Who Has To Live With Your Choice, Everyone Else Will Get Over It, Move On, No Matter What You Decide. But You Never Will

Why Do You Say Vague Things If You Don't Want To Be Asked About Them?

He Leans His Face Close To Mine And Wraps His Fingers Around My Chin. His Hand Smells Like Metal. When Was The Last Time He Held A Gun, Or A Knife?

What?" I Ask. "i'm Developing A Theory." "and It Is?" She Picks Up Her Hamburger, Grins, And Says, "that You Have A Death Wish.

I Was Angry With Him Before. I’m Not Really Sure Why. Maybe I Was Just Angry That The World Had Become Such A Complicated Place, That I Have Never Known Even A Fraction Of The Truth About It. Or That I Allowed Myself To Grieve For Someone Who Was Never Really Gone, The Same Way I Grieved For My Mother All The Years I Thought She Was Dead. Tricking Someone Into Grief Is One Of The Cruelest Tricks A Person Can Play, And It’s Been Played On Me Twice.

I Love You." He Frowns. "say It Again." "tobias," I Say. "i Love You.

No Matter How Long You Train Someone To Be Brave, You Never Know If They Are Or Not Until Something Real Happens.

I Read Somewhere, One, That Crying Defies Scientific Explanation. Tears Are Only Meant To Lubricate The Eyes. There Is No Real Reason For Tear Glands To Overproduce Tears At The Behest Of Emotion. I Think We Cry To Release The Animal Parts Of Us Without Losing Our Humanity. Because Inside Of Me Is A Beast That Snarls, And Growls, And Strains Toward Freedom, Toward Tobias, And, Above All, Towards Life. And As Hard As I Try, I Cannot Kill It.

She Tries To Turn Too Soon, And The Ladder Smacks Into Fernando's Shoulder. "oh! Sorry, Nando." The Jolt Knocks His Glasses Askew. He Smiles At Christina And Takes The Glasses Off, Shoving Them Into His Pocket. "nando?" I Say To Him. "i Thought The Erudite Didn't Like Nicknames?" "when A Pretty Girl Calls You By A Nickname," He Says, "it Is Only Logical To Respond To It.

It's Strange To See People You Don't Know Well In The Morning, With Sleepy Eyes And Pillow Creases In Their Cheeks

We Can't Be Confined To One Way Of Thinking, And That Terrifies Our Leaders. It Means We Can't Be Controlled. And It Means That No Matter What They Do, We Will Always Cause Trouble For Them.

People Tend To Overestimate My Character," I Say Quietly. "they Think That Because I'm Small, Or A Girl, Or A Stiff, I Can't Possibly Be Cruel. But They're Wrong.

What Thought Or Message Would You Put In A Fortune Cookie? "stop Reading This. Eat The Cookie And Live Your Life.

I Open The Door To The Fear Landscape Room And Flip Open The Small Black Box That Was In My Back Pocket To See The Syringes Inside. This Is The Box I Have Always Used, Padded Around The Needles; It Is A Sign Of Something Sick Inside Me, Or Something Brave.

Just As I Have Insisted On His Worth, He Has Always Insisted On My Strength, Insisted That My Capacity Is Greater Than I Believe. And I Know, Without Being Told, That's What Love Does, When It's Right-it Makes You More Than You Were, More Than You Thought You Could Be. This Is Right.

What Irritates Me Most About Him Is His Natural Goodness, His Inborn Selflessness.

My Parents Did Love Each Other. Enough To Forsake Plans And Factions. Enough To Defy “faction Before Blood.” Blood Before Faction--no, Love Before Faction, Always. - Tris Prior

'divergent' Was My Utopian World. I Mean, That Wasn't The Plan. I Never Even Set Out To Write Dystopian Fiction, That's Just What I Had When I Was Finished. At The Beginning, I Was Just Writing About A Place I Found Interesting And A Character With A Compelling Story, And As I Began To Build The World, I Realized That It Was My Utopia.

Why Would The Factionless Have A High Divergent Population?" It Sounds Like She's Smirking. "obviously Those Who Can't Confine Themselves To A Particular Way Of Thinking Would Be Most Likely To Leave A Faction Or Fail Its Initiation, Right?

All I Want To Say Is That When You Stop Being Delusional And Start Feeling Desperate Because You're Too Inept To Figure This Out On Your Own, You Know Who To Come To.

It Must Require Bravery To Be Honest All The Time.

I Decide To Do What I Always Do When I'm Not Sure What's Going On: I Act Like Everyone Else.

The Amity Established This Place As A Safe House. No Conflict Allowed." "the Amity Will Have Trouble Enforcing That Policy," Says Marcus. "how Do You Stop Conflict Without Conflict?

Peter Would Probably Throw A Party If I Stopped Breathing.' 'well,' He Says, 'i Would Only Go If There Was Cake.

I Have Never Been Carried Around By A Large Boy, Or Laughed Until My Stomach Hurt At The Dinner Table, Or Listened To The Clamor Of A Hundred People All Talking At Once. Peace Is Restrained; This Is Free.

This Was The First Place I Everfelt Strong. Every Time I Breathe This Air I Feel It Again.

Four Grabs A Bar With Each Hand And Pulls Himself Up, Easy, Like He's Sitting Up In Bed. But He Is Not Comfortable Or Natural Here--- Every Muscle In His Arm Stands Out. It Is A Stupid Thing For Me To Think When I Am One Hundred Feet Off The Ground.

She'll Have To Get Over It, Then. Are You Going To Let Her Drop Out Of Dauntless For A Stupid Reason Like Not Being Able To Walk?" Zeke Is Quiet For A Few Seconds. His Eyes Shift Over My Face, And He Squints, As If Weighing And Measuring Me. Then He Turns And Bends And Wraps His Arms Around Me. It's Been So Long Since Someone Hugged Me That I Stiffen. Then I Relax, And Let The Gesture Force Warmth Over My Body.

I Choose Him Over And Over Again, And He Chooses Me.

Knowledge Is Power. Power To Do Evil...or Power To Do Good. Power Itself Is Not Evil. So Knowledge Itself Is Not Evil.

Knowledge And Power

Knowledge Is Power

So You're Her Brother? Says Linn. I Guess We Know Who Got The Good Genes.

I Feel Like What I Have Become Is Halfway Between My Mother And My Father, Violent And Impulsive And Desperate And Afraid. I Feel Like I Have Lost Control Of What I Have Become.

I Wish We Were Alone,” He Says. “i Almost Always Wish That,” I Say.

In Our Factions, We Find Meaning, We Find Purpose, We Find Life.

It Was Him Or Me. I Chose Me. But I Feel Dead Too.

You Need To Be Passionate About The Creative Work That You're Doing, But You Need To Be Kind Of Emotionally Separated From How People React To It Or How It Does. Those Things Should Be Secondary, And Primary Should Be Your Love Of The Creative Act.

She Sighs, Then Breaks A Piece Off The Muffin In My Hand. 'hey. There Are Plenty More Just Five Feet To Your Right.' 'then You Shouldn't Be So Concerned About Losing Some Of Yours.' She Says, Grinning. 'fair Enough.

I Fell In Love With Him. But I Don't Just Stay With Him By Default As If There's No One Else Available To Me. I Stay With Him Because I Choose To, Every Day That I Wake Up, Every Day That We Fight Or Lie To Each Other Or Disappoint Each Other. I Choose Him Over And Over Again, And He Chooses Me.

Yeah, Sometimes Life Really Sucks. But You Know What I'm Holding On For? The Moments That Don't Suck. The Trick Is To Notice Them When They Come Around.

I Can't Force You. I Can't Make You Want To Survive This." He Pulls Me Against Him And Runs His Hand Over My Hair, Tucking It Behind My Ear. His Fingers Trail Down My Neck And Over My Shoulder, And He Says, "but You Will Do It. It Doesn't Matter If You Believe You Can Or Not. You Will, Because That's Who You Are.

We've All Started To Put Down The Virtues Of The Other Factions In The Process Of Bolstering Our Own. I Don't Want To Do That. I Want To Be Brave, And Selfless, And Smart, And Kind, And Honest." He Clears His Throat. "i Continually Struggle With Kindness.

What Do You Think They're Going To Do To Us When They Find Us Guilty?" She Says After A Few Minutes Of Silence Have Passed. "honestly?" "does Now Seem Like The Time For Honesty?" I Look At Her From The Corner Of My Eye. "i Think They're Going To Force Us To Eat Lots Of Cake And Then Take An Unreasonably Long Nap.

It Is Impossible To Erase My Choices.

I've Done Without Doing Things, Like Sleeping And Eating, But I Need To Write.

This Is What I Wanted Most To Avoid: For My Rises And Falls To Become Tobias's Rises And Falls. That's Why I Can't Let Him Step In To Defend Me Now.

Four Flips The Gun In This Hand, Presses The Barrel To Peter's Forehead, And Clicks A Bullet Into Place. Peter Freezes With His Lips Parted, The Yawn Dead In His Mouth. "wake. Up," Four Snaps. "you Are Holding A Loaded Gun, You Idiot. Act Like It.

They Try To Make You Think They Care About What You Do But They Don't. They Don't Want You To Act A Certain Way. So You're Easy To Understand. So You Won't Pose A Threat To Them.

When You're A Teenager, Everything Seems Like The End Of The World, And I Don't Think That's Necessarily A Silly Thing. You're Waking Up And Becoming Aware That The World Has Problems And Those Problems Affect You, Whereas When You're Young They Don't Seem To Affect You That Much Even If You're Aware Of Them. This Dystopian Trend Picks Up On That Little Part Of Your Life Where Everything Feels Really Extreme And It Honors That Part Of Your Life And Says, "yeah. It Is The End Of The World. Look At It."

She Walks Away, And I Am Too Stunned To Follow Her. At The End Of The Hallways She Turns And Says, "have A Piece Of Cake For Me, All Right? The Chocolate. It's Delicious." She Smiles A Strange, Twisted Smile, And Adds," I Love You, You Know." And Then She's Gone. I Stand Alone In The Blue Light Coming From The Lamp Above Me, And I Understand: She Has Been To The Compound Before. She Remembered This Hallways. She Knows About The Initiation Process. My Mother Was A Dauntless.

Okay. Then...i Can Talk. Ask Me Something." "okay." He Laughs Shakily In My Ear. "why Is Your Heart Racing Tris?" I Cringe And Say, "well, I...i Barely Know You. I Barely Know You And I'm Crammed Up Against You In A Box, Four, What Do You Think?"... "maybe You Were Cut Out For Candor," He Says, "because You're A Terrible Liar.

An Artist Gives. Gives Visually, Gives Through Courses, Or With Free Advice, Through Generosity Of Spirit And Through A Need To Share.

I Want To Cry Because Something Terrible Happened, And I Saw It, And I Could Not See A Way To Mend It.

Learning How To Think In The Midst Of Fear Is A Lesson That Everyone Needs To Learn.

Lies Require Commitment.

I Point At A Window To My Left, And It Explodes. Particles Of Glass Rain Over Us. ‘you’ll Have To Do Better Than That,' I Say.

I'm Surprised You Know That," I Say Quietly, " Since You Left Halfway Through My One And Only Fight." "it Wasn't Something I Wanted To Watch." He Says. What's That Supposed To Mean?

Let The Guilt Teach You How To Behave Next Time.

Or You Can Stay Frigid," Says Will, His Green Eyes Glinting With Mischief. "you Know. If You Want." Christina Throws A Roll At Him. He Catches It And Bites It. "don't Be Mean To Her," She Says. "frigidity Is In Her Nature. Sort Of Like Being A Know-it-all Is In Yours." "i Am Not Frigid!" I Exclaim. "don't Worry About It," Says Will. It's Endearing. Look You're All Red.

Human Reason Can Excuse Any Evil; That Is Why It's So Important That We Don't Rely On It.

It Reminds Me That No Embrace Will Ever Feel The Same Again, Because No One Will Ever Be Like Her Again, Because She's Gone. She's Gone, And Crying Feels So Useless, So Stupid, But It's All I Can Do.

It Will Be Difficult To Break The Habits Of Thinking Abnegation Instilled In Me, Like Tugging A Single Thread From A Complex Work Of Embroidery. But I Will Find New Habits, New Thoughts, New Rules. I Will Become Something Else.

I Am Proud. It Will Get Me Into Trouble Someday, But Today It Makes Me Brave

I Think That You Are The Liar!" I Say, My Voice Quaking. "you Tell Me You Love Me, You Trust Me, You Think I'm More Perceptive Than The Average Person. And The First Second That Belief In My Perceptiveness, That Trust, That Love Is Put To The Test, It Falls Apart." I Am Crying Now, But I Am Not Ashamed Of The Tears Shining On My Cheeks Or The Thickness Of My Voice. "so You Must Have Lied When You Told Me All Those Things... You Must Have, Because I Can't Believe Your Love Is Really That Feeble.

I Am Fed Up. I Am Fed Up With Tears And Weakness. But There Isn't Much I Can Do To Stop Them.

I Pause A Second. He Doesn't Look At Me The Way Will, Christina, And Al Sometimes Do - Like I Am Too Small And Too Weak To Be Of Any Use, And They Pity Me For It.

Why Are You Constantly Escorting Me Places?” I Say. “isn’t There A Depraved Activity You’re Supposed To Be Taking Part In? Kicking Puppies Or Spying On Girls While They Change, Or Something?

Leave Her Out Of This" "why? Because You're Doing Her? Oh Wait, I Forgot. Stiffs Don't Do That Sort Of Thing

My Tris Should Look Pale And Small--she Is Pale And Small, After All--but Instead The Room Is Full Of Her.

All Three Combined Is...a Different Kind Of Stupid Formerly Unheard Of By Humankind.

I Have Something I Need To Tell You," He Says. I Run My Fingers Along The Tendons In His Hands And Look Back At Him. "i Might Be In Love With You." He Smiles A Little. "i'm Waiting Until I'm Sure To Tell You, Though." "that's Sensible Of You," I Say, Smiling Too. "we Should Find Some Paper So You Can Make A List Or A Chart Or Something." I Feel His Laughter Against My Side, His Nose Sliding Along My Jaw, His Lips Pressing My Ear. "maybe I'm Already Sure," He Says, "and I Just Don't Want To Frighten You." I Laugh A Little. "then You Should Know Better." "fine," He Says. "then I Love You.

I Do Trust You, Is What I Want To Say. But It Isn't True -- I Didn't Trust Him To Love Me Despite The Terrible Things I Had Done. I Don't Trust Anyone To Do That, But That Isn't His Problem; It's Mine.

All That Land Is Filled With People, Every One Of Them Different, And The Things They Do To Each Other Matter.

To Find That Place Between What I Want And What I Think Is Wise.

Tris," Tobias Says, Crouching Next To Me. His Face Is Pale, Almost Yellow. There Is Too Much I Want To Say. The First Thing That Comes Out Is, "beatrice." He Laughs Weakly. "beatrice," He Amends, And Touches His Lips To Mine. I Curl My Fingers Into His Shirt.

I Have Something To Tell You," He Says. I Run My Fingers Along The Tendons In His Hand And Look Back At Him. "i Might Be In Love With You." He Smiles A Little. "i’m Waiting Until I’m Sure To Tell You, Though.

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