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Wants And Needs Are Closely Connected. And All Our Needs, Even The Ones We're Not Completely Aware Of Yet, Will Be Met. Be Grateful That God Knows More About What We Need Than We Do. Sometimes When We Pray, We Get What We Want. Sometimes We Get What We Need. Accept Both Answers-the Yes's And The Something Else's-with Heartfelt Gratitude. Then Look Around And See What Your Lesson And Gift Is.

-Melody Beattie

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Wants And Needs Are

Melody Beattie

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Wants And Needs Are Closely Connected. And All Our Needs, Even The Ones We're Not Completely Aware Of Yet, Will Be Met. Be Grateful That God Knows More About What We Need Than We Do. Sometimes When We Pray, We Get What We Want. Sometimes We Get What We Need. Accept Both Answers-the Yes's And The Something Else's-with Heartfelt Gratitude. Then Look Around And See What Your Lesson And Gift Is.

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Today I Will Stop Trying To Control My Relationships. I Will Participate At A Reasonable Level And Let The Other Person Do The Same. I Can Let Go, Knowing That The Relationship Will Find Its Own Life-or Not-and That I Don't Have To Do All The Work, Only My Share.

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The Lesson I Was Learning Involved The Idea That I Could Feel Compassion For People Without Acting On It.

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We Don't Have To Do It Any Better Than We Can - Ever. Do Our Best For The Moment, Then Let It Go. If We Have To Redo It, We Can Do Our Best In Another Moment, Later.

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God, Help Me Let Go Of My Need To Be Afraid. I Welcome Peace, Trust, Acceptance, And Safety Into My Life. I Will Make A Point Of Listening To My Healthy, Rational Fears, And Will Relinquish All The Others.

We Call It Keeping Up With The Joneses. They Buy A Boat And We Buy A Bigger One. They Get A New Tv And We Get A Big Screen. They Start A Business And We Start Planning Our Articles Of Incorporation And The First Stock Release. And While We're So Busy Keeping Up, We Ignore Our Soul, The Inner Voice, That's Telling Us That It Really Wants To Teach Children To Read. While It Helps To Identify With Each Other, We're Not The Same. So Why Compare Ourselves On The Basis Of Material Things? Are You Walking A Path With Heart In Your Own Life, Regardless Of What Others Have?

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Beliefs Create Reality

Each Life Needs Its Own Quiet Place.

Make New Year's Goals. Dig Within, And Discover What You Would Like To Have Happen In Your Life This Year. This Helps You Do Your Part. It Is An Affirmation That You're Interested In Fully Living Life In The Year To Come.

Today I Will Simply Accept. I Will Relinquish The Need To Be In Resistance To Myself And My Environment In Any Way. I Will Move Forward In Joy By Accepting Where I Am Right Now.

Furthermore, Worrying About People And Problems Doesn't Help. It Doesn't Solve Problems, It Doesn't Help Other People, And It Doesn't Help Us. It Is Wasted Energy.

We Have As Much Time As We Need.

We Cannot Change Others, But When We Change Ourselves, We May End Up Changing The World.

We Don't Just Get Our Choice; We Get The Consequence That Choice Creates.

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Whatever We Try To Control Does Have Control Over Us And Our Life.

Our Strength Will Continue If We Allow Ourselves The Courage To Feel Scared, Weak, And Vulnerable.

Today I Will Practice Healthy Giving, Understanding That Caretaking And Compulsive Giving Don't Work. I Choose What I Want To Give, To Whom, When, And How Much. It Takes Time To Learn How To Give In Healthy Ways. It Takes Time To Learn To Receive. Balance Will Come.

Nurtured, Nourished People, Who Love Themselves And Care For Themselves, Are The Delight Of The Universe.

I Pray For Faith That My Future Will Be Good If I Live Today Well, And In Peace. I Will Remember That Staying In The Present Is The Best Thing I Can Do For My Future. I Will Focus On What’s Happening Now Instead Of What’s Going To Happen Tomorrow.

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Embrace And Love All Of Yourself - Past, Present, And Future. Forgive Yourself Quickly And As Often As Necessary. Encourage Yourself. Tell Yourself Good Things About Yourself.

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Love Yourself Just As You Are.

Life Is Always Moving, Changing, Shifting Into Its Next Shape. The Movement Is Natural. It Is How We Evolve. Let The Shifts Happen. Take Responsibility For Yourself Each Step Of The Way. Trust The New Shape And Form Of Your World

The New Year Stands Before Us, Like A Chapter In A Book, Waiting To Be Written. We Can Help Write That Story By Setting Goals.

Each Moment In Time We Have It All, Even When We Think We Don't.

Moments In Time

All Endings Are Inexorably Tied To New Beginnings. That's The Nature Of The Journey. It Continues To Unfold. It Builds On Itself. It Can't Help Itself From Doing That. Cherish The Moments, All Of Them. You Have Seen And Felt Much In Life So Far. But Still, The Best Is Yet To Come.

Best Is Yet To Come

Today I Will Realize That I'm Powerless Over Other People's Expectations Of Me. I'll Think About What I Want And Consider That How I Respond To Others' Needs Will Affect The Course Of My Life. I Will Own My Own Power And Choose The Course That's Right For Me.

Wants And Needs Are Closely Connected. And All Our Needs, Even The Ones We're Not Completely Aware Of Yet, Will Be Met. Be Grateful That God Knows More About What We Need Than We Do. Sometimes When We Pray, We Get What We Want. Sometimes We Get What We Need. Accept Both Answers-the Yes's And The Something Else's-with Heartfelt Gratitude. Then Look Around And See What Your Lesson And Gift Is.

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Today I Will Focus On A Peaceful Pace, Rather Than A Harried One. I Will Keep Moving Forward Gently, Not Frantically. I Will Let Go Of My Need To Be Anxious And Upset And Will Replace These Feelings With Calmness And Harmony.

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...the Plan Will Happen In Spite Of Us, Not Because Of Us.

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If We Are Waiting For Guaranteed Courses Of Action, We May Spend Much Of Our Life Waiting.

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Gratitude Isn't A Tool To Manipulate The Universe Or God. It's A Way To Acknowledge Our Faith That Everything Happens For A Reason Even If We Don't Know What That Reason Is. ~melody Beattie, 52 Weeks Of Conscious Contact, Pg. 34.

Everything Happens For A Reason

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A Man Went To Istanbul, His First Visit There. On His Way To A Business Meeting, This Man Lost His Way. He Began Raging At Himself For Getting Lost, Until A Realization Allowed Him To Transcend His Ire. "how Can I Be Lost? I've Never Been Here Before?" Pp 104-105

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We Don't Want To Give The Controls To Someone Else; We Want Those Reins Ourselves. We Want To Get Our Way. And We Get Upset When Things Don't Work Out. . . . When We Try To Control Someone Else Or Events Beyond The Scope Of Our Power, We Lose. When We Learn To Discern The Difference Between What We Can Change And What We Can't, We Usually Have An Easier Time Expressing Our Power In Our Lives. Because We're Not Wasting All Our Energy Using Our Power To Change Things We Can't, We Have A Lot Of Energy Left Over To Live Our Lives.

Control Someone

...help Me Let Go Of My Need To Stay Immersed In Negativity. I Can Change The Energy In Myself And My Environment From Negative To Positive. I Will Affirm The Good Until It Sinks In And Feels Real. I Will Also Strive To Find One Quality That I Like About Someone Else Who's Important To Me, And I Will Take The Risk Of Telling Him Or Her That.

Do We Really Have The Right To Take Care Of Ourselves? Do We Really Have The Right To Set Boundaries? Do We Really Have The Right To Be Direct And Say What We Need To Say? You Bet We Do.

We Learn The Magical Lesson That Making The Most Of What We Have Turns It Into More.

Worrying, Obsessing, And Controlling Are Illusions. They Are Tricks We Play On Ourselves.

Today I Will Learn To Reject Shame. Shame Is An Overwhelming Sense That Who I Am Isn't Good Enough. I Realize That I Am Good Enough, And That My Imperfections Are Part Of Being Human. I Let Go Of Shame.

There Is Honor In All Work, In All Tasks, But Take It One Step Further. Make What You Do A Labor Of Love. Then Your Work Will Truly Touch And Change The World In The Way You Desire. The Work You Do, Whatever Your Chosen Field, Will Be Work That Heals.

Going Home Means Getting Comfortable Being Who You Are And Who Your Soul Really Wants To Be. There Is No Strain With That. The Strain And Tension Come When We're Not Being Who Our Soul Wants To Be And We're Someplace Where Our Soul Doesn't Feel At Home.

We See And Understand More About Our Behaviors. We Come Aware. And Aware. And Aware. . . Often, We Feel Uncertain About What To Do With All This Awareness.

No - Simple To Pronounce, Hard To Say.

Relax, You're On A Journey Of Discovery. Let Life Reveal Itself To You.

Living Our Lives May Not Be An Exciting Prospect To Some Of Us Either. Maybe We've Been So Wrapped Up In Other People That We've Forgotten How To Live And Enjoy Our Lives.

When Our Heart Is Broken, We Can't Hear It. And When We Can't Hear Our Heart, We Can't Hear God.

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Continuation Of Life

Gratitude Helps Us Stop Trying To Control Outcomes. It Is The Key That Unlocks Positive Energy In Our Life. It Is The Alchemy That Turns Problems Into Blessings, And The Unexpected Into Gifts.

Letting Go Means We Stop Trying To Force Outcomes And Make People Behave. It Means We Give Up Resistance To The Way Things Are, For The Moment. It Means We Stop Trying To Do The Impossible-controlling That Which We Cannot-and Instead, Focus On What Is Possible-which Usually Means Taking Care Of Ourselves. And We Do This In Gentleness, Kindness, And Love, As Much As Possible.

Gratitude Turns What We Have Into Enough.

Ungrateful People

You Don't Blast A Heart Open," She Said. "you Coax And Nurture It Open, Like The Sun Does To A Rose.

Today, I Will Focus On What's Right About Me. I Will Give Myself Some Of The Caring I've Extended To The World.

Goals Give Us Direction. They Put A Powerful Force Into Play On A Universal, Conscious, And Subconscious Level. Goals Give Our Life Direction.

The Surest Way To Make Ourselves Crazy Is To Get Involved In Other People's Business, And The Quickest Way To Become Sane And Happy Is To Tend To Our Own Affairs.

You Can Clear The Land, Plow The Field, Spread The Fertilizer, And Plant The Corn. But You Cannot Make It Rain. You Cannot Prevent An Early Frost. You Cannot Determine Exactly What Will Happen In Your Life. The Rain May Or May Not Fall, But One Thing Is Certain: You Will Get A Harvest Only If You Planted Something In The Field. It's Important To Do Everything In Our Power To Ensure Our Success, But We Also Need To Let The Universe Take Its Course.

The More We Learn To Love And Respect Ourselves, The More We Will Become Attracted To People Who Will Love And Respect Us And Who We Can Safely Love And Respect.

Love And Respect

Perspective Will Come In Retrospect.

Today, I Will Let Go. I Will Stop Trying To Control Everything. I Will Stop Trying To Make Myself Be And Do Better, And I Will Let Myself Be.

Much Of The Time, The Things We Feel Guilty About Are Not Our Issues. Another Person Behaves Inappropriately Or In Some Way Violates Our Boundaries. We Challenge The Behavior, And The Person Gets Angry And Defensive. Then We Feel Guilty.

Gratitude Unlocks The Fullness Of Life. It Turns What We Have Into Enough, And More. It Turns Denial Into Acceptance, Chaos To Order, Confusion To Clarity. It Can Turn A Meal Into A Feast, A House Into A Home, A Stranger Into A Friend.

Love Means Each Person Is Free To Follow His Or Her Own Heart.

Quit Hanging On To The Handrails . . . Let Go. Surrender. Go For The Ride Of Your Life. Do It Every Day.

It's So Easy To Look Around And Notice What's Wrong. It Takes Practice To See What's Right.

Believing That Things Happen Too Slowly Or Too Quickly Is An Illusion. Timing Is Perfect.

A Codependent Person Is One Who Has Let Another Person's Behavior Affect Him Or Her And Who Is Obsessed With Controlling That Person's Behavior.

When We're Surrounded By Things That Look Impossible, Making A Simple Choice To Do Something That's Possible Is A Powerful Thing To Do.

Today I Will Tell Myself That I'm Lovable. Just Because Some People Haven't Been Able To Love Me In Ways That Worked Doesn't Mean That I'm Unlovable. I've Had Lessons To Learn, And Some Of Them Have Hurt Deeply, But I Can Still Love, And I Still Am Loved.

Striving For Excellence Is A Positive Quality. Striving For Perfection Is Self-defeating.

Today I Will Surrender To Discipline. I Realize That Sometimes It Takes Time To See The Fruits Of My Labors, Yet I Still Need To Practice Discipline. Help Me To Remember, God, That I'm Moving Forward, And That I'm Learning The Very Important Art Of Discipline.

I Know When To Say No And When To Say Yes. I Take Responsibility For My Choices. The Victim? She Went Somewhere Else. The Only One Who Can Truly Victimize Me Is Myself, And 99 Percent Of The Time I Choose To Do That No More. But I Need To Continue To Remember The Key Principles: Boundaries, Letting Go, Forgiveness After Feeling My Feelings—not Before, Self-expression, Loving Others But Loving Myself, Too.

It's Our Job To First Make Ourselves Feel Better And Then Make Ourselves Feel Good.

Caring Works. Caretaking Doesn't. We Can Learn To Walk The Line Between The Two.

... I've Learned That I Have Many, Many Soul Mates Here, And They Come To Me At The Right Time And In The Right Place. They Come To Help Me When I'm Lost, And Each Comes With Different Sets Of Lessons For Me -- Usually, Always, My Most Intense Lessons -- The Ones My Soul Came Here To Learn.

Who You Are Is Love. What Love Does Is Heal.

Gratitude Turns Negative Energy Into Positive Energy. There Is No Situation Or Circumstance So Small Or Large That It Is Not Susceptible To Gratitude's Power.

Positive Energy

Even If The Most Important Person In Your World Rejects You, You Are Still Real, And You Are Still Okay.

If Somebody Rejects You Or Your Choices, You Are Still Real, And You Are Still Worth Every Bit As Much As You Would Be If You Had Not Been Rejected.

Let Your Mind And Soul Be At Ease. Don't Grasp And Grab For The Magic And Miracles. When You Reside In That Place Of Stillness, The Joy, Miracles, And Magic You're Seeking Will Find You.

Choosing To Take Responsibility For Ourselves And For The Consequences Our Choices Create Looks Like Hard Work, But It Really Sets Us Free.

Acceptance Is The Magic That Makes Change Possible. It Is Not Forever, It Is For The Present Moment

Other People Maay Be There To Help Us, Teach Us, Guide Us Aolng Our Path, But The Lesson To Be Learned Is Always Ours

Lessons To Be Learned

Today I Will Do Something Just For The Fun Of It. I Will Find Something To Do That's Just For Me And I Won't Worry About What I Should Be Doing. I Will Learn How To Make Myself Feel Good And Enjoy Life To The Fullest.

Positive Thinking

Gratitude Unlocks The Fullness Of Life.

Fullness Of Life

Sometimes Compromise Is Important. Sometimes It's Better To Give In To Someone Else's Wishes In Order To Have Fun As A Group Or As A Couple, Or For The Benefit Of The Team. Sometimes Compromise Is Dangerous. We Need To Guard Against Compromising Our Standards To Gain The Approval Or Love Of Someone Else. Decide When You Can, And When You Cannot, Compromise. If It's Not Harmful And You Are Ambivalent About A Decision, Then Compromise. If It Could Lead To Breaking Your Values, Compromise Isn't A Good Idea.

This Moment, We Are Right Where We Need To Be, Right Where We Are Meant To Be.

We Can Stop Picking On Ourselves For Picking On Ourselveswe Can Cherish Ourselves And Our Lives. We Can Nuture Ourselves And Love Ourselves. We Can Accept Our Wonderful Selves, With All Our Faults, Foibles, Strong Points, Weak Points, Feelings, Thoughts, And Everything Else. It's The Best Thing We've Got Going For Us. It's Who We Are, And Who We Were Meant To Be. And It's Not A Mistake. We Are The Greatest Thing That Will Ever Happen To Us. Believe It. It Makes Life Much Easier.

Be Patient. Relax And Trust. Let Go. Then, Let Go Some More.

God, Help Me Remember That When I Admit And Accept The Truth, I'll Be Given The Power And Guidance To Change.

Today I Will Let Go Of My Need For Approval And My Need To Be Liked. Instead, I Will Choose To Like And Approve Of Myself. The People Who Count (including Me) Will Respect Me When I'm True To Who I Really Am.

We Are More Than Our Problems. Even If Our Problem Is Our Own Behavior, The Problem Is Not Who We Are-it's What We Did. It's Okay To Have Problems. It's Okay To Talk About Problems-at Appropriate Times, And With Safe People. It's Okay To Solve Problems. And We're Okay, Even When We Have, Or Someone We Love Has A Problem. We Don't Have To Forfeit Our Personal Power Or Our Self-esteem. We Have Solved Exactly The Problems We've Needed To Solve To Become Who We Are.

Today I Will Refuse To Jump Into The Middle Of Others' Affairs, Issues, And Relationships. I Will Trust Others To Work Out Their Own Problems, Including The Ideas And Feelings They Want To Communicate To Each Other.

Accept Yourself. Love Yourself Just As You Are. Your Finest Work, Your Best Moments, Your Joy, Peace, And Healing Come When You Love Yourself. You Give A Great Gift To The World When You Do That. You Give Others Permission To Do The Same: To Love Themselves. Revel In Self Love. Roll In It. Bask In It, As You Would The Sunshine.

Sometimes, We Don't Get What We Want. . . But This Is A Benevolent Universe. And Once In A While, We Do.

I Used To Spend So Much Time Reacting And Responding To Everyone Else That My Life Had No Direction. Other People's Lives, Problems, And Wants Set The Course For My Life. Once I Realized It Was Okay For Me To Think About And Identify What I Wanted, Remarkable Things Began To Take Place In My Life.

Today I Will Not Wait For Someone To Come To My Aid. I'm Not Helpless. Although Help May Come, I'm My Own Rescuer. My Relationships Will Dramatically Improve When I Stop Rescuing Others And Stop Expecting Others To Rescue Me.

Remember To Be Kind. Remember To Be Loving. Remember To Feel All Your Feelings And To Take Care Of Yourself. But Most Of All, Remember To Be Happy.

We Can Say What We Need To Say. We Can Gently, But Assertively, Speak Our Mind. We Do Not Need To Be Judgmental, Tactless, Blaming Or Cruel When We Speak Our Truths.

Anger Is A Warning Signal. It Points To Problems.

Gratitude Unlocks The Fullness Of Life. It Turns What We Have Into Enough, And More. It Turns Denial Into Acceptance, Chaos To Order, Confusion To Clarity. It Can Turn A Meal Into A Feast, A House Into A Home, A Stranger Into A Friend. It Turns Problems Into Gifts, Failures Into Successes, The Unexpected Into Perfect Timing, And Mistakes Into Important Events. It Can Turn An Existence Into A Real Life, And Disconnected Situations Into Important And Beneficial Lessons. Gratitude Makes Sense Of Our Past, Brings Peace For Today, And Creates A Vision For Tomorrow. Gratitude Makes Things Right.

Boundaries Emerge From Deep Within. They Are Connected To Letting Go Of Guilt And Shame, And To Changing Our Beliefs About What We Deserve. As Our Thinking About This Becomes Clearer, So Will Our Boundaries. Boundaries Are Also Connected To A Higher Timing Than Our Own. We’ll Set A Limit When We’re Ready, And Not A Moment Before. So Will Others. There’s Something Magical About Reaching That Point Of Becoming Ready To Set A Limit. We Know We Mean What We Say; Others Take Us Seriously Too. Things Change, Not Because We’re Controlling Others, But Because We’ve Changed.

Letting Go Of Our Ideas About How Life Should Go Is A Choice That Sets Life's Magic Free.

It's Hard To Give Up The Self-esteem Connected To Being Codependent And Appearing 'right,' Which Is Probably A Survival Behavior Learned From Growing Up In A Crazy Family. It Feels Like You Will Actually Disappear.

You Don't Have To Search So Hard For Meaning And Destiny. If You Focus On Keeping Yourself Clear And In Balance And You Live From Your Heart, Destiny And Your Highest-good Path Will Unfold Naturally At Your Feet.

Few Situations - No Matter How Greatly They Appear To Demand It - Can Be Bettered By Us Going Beserk.

Gratitude Can Turn A Meal Into A Feast.

Fullness Of Life

Codependents Are Reactionaries. They Overreact. They Under-react. But Rarely Do They Act. They React To The Problems, Pains, Lives, And Behaviors Of Others. They React To Their Own Problems, Pains, And Behaviors.

When We Don't Ask For What We Want And Need, We Discount Ourselves.

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