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This Is The Problem With Dealing With Someone Who Is Actually A Good Listener. They Don’t Jump In On Your Sentences, Saving You From Actually Finishing Them, Or Talk Over You, Allowing What You Do Manage To Get Out To Be Lost Or Altered In Transit. Instead, They Wait, So You Have To Keep Going.

-Sarah Dessen

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This Is The Problem

Sarah Dessen

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This Is The Problem With Dealing With Someone Who Is Actually A Good Listener. They Don’t Jump In On Your Sentences, Saving You From Actually Finishing Them, Or Talk Over You, Allowing What You Do Manage To Get Out To Be Lost Or Altered In Transit. Instead, They Wait, So You Have To Keep Going.

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This Was Our Common Ground, The Secret We Shared But Never Spoke Aloud. I Should Have Been With Him; She Should Have Left Him Alone. Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda. It's So Easy In The Past Tense.

So You Should Remember That, When You're Thinking About What Other People Can Deal With. Maybe It's Not So Bad.

Macon: “it’s True. And If That Doesn’t Work, Use The Jedi Mind Trick. But Only If You Really Have To.” Halley: “the What?” Macon: “the Jedi Mind Trick.” He Looked At Me. “didn’t You Ever See Star Wars?

I'd Come Here Planning To Leave As Soon As I Could. It Was A Pit Stop, Not A Destination. I Had My Whole Life Mapped Out." "so What Happened?" "i Guess That Map Didn't Turn Out To Be Mine After All.

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You Couldn't Just Pick And Choose At Will When Someone Depended On You, Or Loved You. It Wasn't Like A Light Switch, Easy To Turn On Or Off. If You Were In, You Were In. Out, You Were Out.

Sometimes Love Can Be An Ugly Thing.

Some People, They Can't Just Move On, You Know, Mourn And Cry And Be Done With It. Or At Least Seem To Be. But For Me... I Don't Know. I Didn't Want To Fix It, To Forget. It Wasn't Something That Was Broken. It's Just...something That Happened. And Like That Hole, I'm Just Finding Ways, Every Day, Of Working Around It. Respecting And Remembering And Getting On At The Same Time.

You Knew The Truth All Along, Colie. That's All Matters. You Knew.

I Wondered Again Why The Right Thing Always Seemed To Be Met With So Much Resistance, When You'd Think It Would Be The Easier Path. You Had To Fight To Be Virtuous.

Being Brave And Self-confident Doesn't Necessarily Start Inside...it Starts With The Rest Of The World, And It Leads Back To You.

I Spent A Lot Of Time Looking At That Picture. Wondering What I’d Think Of That Girl, If I Was Someone Else, Seeing How Easily She Sits In Her Boyfriend’s Lap, Laughing, With His Arms Around Her. I Would Have Thought Her Life Was Perfect, The Way I Once Thought Cass’s Was. It Was Too Easy, I Was Learning, To Just Assume Things.

Sure, There Was No Guarantee Any Of These Things Would Actually Happen As He Envisioned. But Maybe That Wasn‟t The Point.it Was The Planning That Counted, Whether It Ever Came To Fruition Or Not.

There Were So Many Levels To The Unknown, From Safe To Dangerous To Outright Nebulous, Scariest Of All.

And The Rest Is History,' I Said. Nah.' He Shook His Head. 'the Rest Is Now.

There's This Other Half Of Him I Don't Know Of, It's Like He Is Trying To Keep It A Secret... If He Would Just Let Me Inside So I Can Help.

Because You Have To Just Go With The Flow. Your Life Is Not Your Own, With People Coming In And Out All The Time. You Get Mellow Because You Have To.

Just Because Someone's Pretty, Doesn't Mean She's Decent.

What Is Family? They Were The People Who Claimed You. In Good, In Bad, In Parts Or In Whole, They Were The Ones Who Showed Up, Who Stayed In There, Regardless. It Wasn't Just About Blood Relations Or Shared Chromosomes, But Something Wider, Bigger. Cora Was Right - We Had Many Families Over Time. Our Family Of Origion, The Family We Created, As Well As The Gorups You Moved Thorugh While All Of This Was Happening: Friends, Lovers, Sometimes Even Strangers. None Of Them Were Perfect, And We Couldn't Expect Them To Be. You Couldn't Make Any One Person Your World. The Trick Was To Take What Each Could Give You And Build A World From It.

I Wondered If He Ever Thought Of Me, And Hated The Pang I Felt When I Told Myself He Didn't.

Looking At The Pond, All I Could Think Was That It Is An Incredivle Thing, How A Whole World Can Rise From What Seems Like Nothing At All.

I'd Been Through So Much, Falling Short Again And Again, And Only Recently Had Found A Place Where Who I Was, Right Now, Was Enough.

Like So Many Before Them, They Didn't Care That My Dad Was Only The Messenger. They Still Wanted To Shoot Him.

When You've Never Gotten Love From Someone, You Don't Know What It Might Look Like If It Ever Does Appear. You Look For It In Everything: Any Bright Light Overhead Could Be A Star.

Because Maybe, The Best Of Times Were Yet To Come. You Never Knew.

He'd Always Had That Fearless Optimism That Made Cynics Like Me Squirm. I Wondered If It Was Enough For Both Of Us. I Would Never Know From Here, Though. And Time Was Passing. Crucial Minutes And Seconds, Each One Capable Of Changing Everything.

If This Was My Forever, I Wouldn't Want To Spend It Here.

Teaching Was Great For Me, Because I Got To Show People How Writing Can Really Change The Way You See Not Only Yourself But The World.

And So Really, You Have Given Me No Choice But To Take You Shopping By Force.” She Sighed, Then Reached Up, Dropping Her Sunglasses Down From Their Perch On Her Head To Cover Her Eyes. “do You Even Realize How Happy The Average Teenage Girl Would Be In Your Shoes? I Have A Credit Card. We’re At The Mall. I Want To Buy You Things. It’s Like Adolescent Nirvana.” - Cora

My Experience Is That Sequels Are Rarely As Good As The Originals.

How Weird Was It That So Many Bits And Pieces, All Diverse, Could Make Something Whole. Something With Potential. 'perfect.

If You Try Anything, If You Try To Lose Weight, Or To Improve Yourself, Or To Love, Or To Make The World A Better Place, You Have Already Achieved Something Wonderful, Before You Even Begin. Forget Failure. If Things Don't Work Out The Way You Want, Hold Your Head Up High And Be Proud. And Try Again. And Again. And Again!

At The Same Time, Though, I Was Beginning To Wonder If This Was Just How It Was Supposed To Be For Me, Like Perhaps I Wasn't Capable Of Having That Many People In My Life At Any One Time. My Mom Turned Up, Nate Walked Away, One Door Opening As Another Clicked Shut.

"you Ready To Play?" Dave Asked, Bouncing It. "i Don't Know," I Said. "are You Going To Cheat?" "it's Street Ball!" He Said Checking It To Me. "show Me That Love." So Chessy, I Thought. But As I Felt It, Solid Against My Hands, I Did Feel Something. I Wasn't Sure It Was Love. Maybe What Remained Of It, Though, Whatever That Might Be. "all Right," I Said. "let's Play."

It Was Becoming Clear To Me That I Shouldn't Bother To Get Too Attached To Anything. Turn Your Back And You Lose It. Just Like That.

Right Now, Though, I Wanted Not To Think Forward Or Backward, But Only To Lose Myself In The Words.

I Wanted To Tell Him So. Find The Right Words, String Them Together In The Ideal Way, Knowing That Here They Would Have The Best Chance Of Sounding Perfect.

All Those Clean, Fresh Starts Had Made Me Forget What It Was Like, Until Now, To Be Messy And Honest And Out Of Control. To Be Real.

Nah," I Said. "but If It Does, Just Tell Him I Said To Get Back On The Bike." "what?" "he'll Understand.

Looking Back, It Seemed Like It Should Have Been Harder To Lose Someone, Or Have Them Lose You, Especially When They Were In The Same State, Only A Few Towns Over.

But Risk Is Just Part Of Relationships. Sometimes They Work, Sometimes They Don't.

The First Boy Was Always The Hardest.

Look, The Point Is There's No Way To Be A Hundred Percent Sure About Anyone Or Anything. So You're Left With A Choice. Either Hope For The Best Or Just Expect The Worst.

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Not For The First Time, I Wished Both Of Us Could Just Say What We Meant. But That, Like So Much Else, Was Impossible

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It's All About You, Colie." She Touched One Finger To Her Temple, Tap Tap Tap. "believe In Yourself Up Here And It Will Make You Stronger Than You Could Ever Imagine." There Is Something Infectious About Confidence. And For That One Moment, With My Eyebrows Burning And My Eyes Watering, I Believed. "and Good Hair Never Hurt Either.

This Is Personal, She'd Said. Real. This Moment Was Too, Even If You Couldn't See It At First Glance. It Was Fake On The Outside, But So True Within. You Only Had To Look, Really Look To Tell.

N The Dark Everyone Felt The Same: The Edges Blurred. When I Think Of Myself Then, What I Was Like Two Years Ago, I Feel Like A Wound In A Bad Place, Prone To Be Bumped On Corners Or Edges. Never Able To Heal.

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Two A.m.' He Swallowed, Then Said, "you Know. The Person You Can Call At Two A.m. And, No Matter What, You Can Count On Them. Even If They're Asleep Or It's Cold Or You Need To Be Bailed Out Of Jail...they'll Come For You. It's Like, The Highest Level Of Friendship.

It's A Lot Easier To Be Lost Than Found. It's The Reason We're Always Searching And Rarely Discovered--so Many Locks Not Enough Keys.

Why Does She Have Wings?' So She Can Fly.

But As I Lay There, It Only Seemes Like Silence Filling My Ears. And The Thing Was, It Was So Freaking Loud.

She Smiled, Pulling The Photo A Little Closer, And I Wondered If I Should Ask Her, Too, The Question For My Project, Get Her Definition. But As She Ran A Finger Slowly Across The Faces, Identifying Each One, It Occurred To Me That Maybe This Was Her Answer. All Those Names, Strung Together Like Beads On A Chain. Coming Together, Splitting Apart, But Still And Always, A Family. (page 289) ~ruby

From Up Above, In A Plane Passing Over, You’d Just See One Little Light In All This Dark, With No Idea Of The Lives That Were Being Lived Within It, And In The House Beside, And Beside That One. So Much Happening In The World, Night And Day, Hour By Hour. It Was No Wonder We Were Meant To Sleep, If Only To Check Out Of It For A Little While.

I Just Have To Be Super Strong When It Comes To My Work Time. Shut The Browser, Ignore The Email Alerts, And Just Write.

It's Hard To Do," I Said. Wes Looked At Me. "what Is?" I Swallowed, Not Sure Why I'd Said This Out Loud. "get It Right.

And That Was It. All This Buildup To A Great Leap, And I Didn't Fall Or Fly. Instead I Found Myself Back On The Edge Of The Cliff, Blinking, Wondering If I'd Ever Jumped At All. It's Not Supposed To Be Like This.

It Was As Familiar To Me As A Song I'd Been Hearing My Whole Life, Covered By Various People But The Basic Tune The Same.

Sometimes A Question Can Hurt More Than An Answer.

Times Like This It Did Seem Real I Was Leaving, And Even More That My Family, And This Life, Would Go On Without Me. And Again I Felt That Emptiness Rise Up, But Pushed It Away. Still, I Lingered There, In The Doorway, Memorizing The Noise. The Moment. Tucking It Away Out Of Sight, To Be Remembered When I Needed It Most.

The Lizard Stared Up At Us, And We Stared Back, Taking Each Other In. He Was Little And Defenseless, I Felt Sorry For Him Already. This Was A Screwed-up Place He'd Just Come Into. But He Didn't Have To Know That. Not Yet, Anyway. There In That Room, Where It Was Hot And Cramped, The World Probably Still Seemed Small Enough To Manage.

I Think Whenever A Writer Is Really Enjoying Themselves And Liking What They Are Doing, That Shows On The Page.

"look," I Said, "we Knew Jason And Becky Would Be Back, The Break Would End. This Isn't A Surprise, It's What's Supposed To Happen. It's What We Wanted. Right?" "is It?" He Asked. "is It What You Want?" Whether He Intended It To Be Or Not, This Was The Final Question, The Last Truth. If I Said What I Really Thought, I Was Opening Myself Up For A Hurt Bigger Than I Could Even Imagine. I Didn't Have It In Me. We Changed And Altered So Many Rules, But It Was This One, The Only One When We'd Started, That I Would Break. "yes," I Said.

With Total Strangers, It Had Always Been My Policy To Expect The Worst. Usually They-and Those That You Knew Best, For That Matter-did Not Disappoint.

Here Was A Boy Who Liked Flaws, Who Saw Them Not As Failings But As Strengths. Who Knew Such A Person Could Exist, Or What Would Have Happened If We'd Found Each Other Under Different Circumstances? Maybe In A Perfect World. But Not In This One.

It Didn't Make You Noble To Step Away From Something That Wasn't Working, Even If You Thought You Were The Reason For The Malfunction. Especially Then. It Just Made You A Quitter. Because If You Were The Problem, Chances Were You Could Also Be The Solution. The Only Way To Find Out Was To Take Another Shot.

It's Never Long Distance Between Friends.

Family Isnt About Blood Relationships, Its About The Meaning Behind Them. I Relize Now That Sharing Chromosoms Is Not The Only Way To Having A Family, Its About The Friendship Behind It.

A Second Later, When He Looked Up At Me, We Were Face To Face, And Again, Even Under These Circumstances, I Was Struck By How Good Looking He Was, In That Accidental, Doesn't-even-know-it Kind Of Way. Which Only Made It Worse. Or Better. Or Whatever. "yup", He Said, As If There'd Been Any Doubt, "you're In There, All Right." "i Was Warned, Too,"i Told Him, As He Stood Up. "i Just Saw That Sculpture, And I Got Distracted." "the Sculpture?" He Looked At It, Then At Me. "oh, Right. Because You Know It.

But That Was The Problem With Having The Answers. It Was Only After You Gave Them That You Realized They Sometimes Weren't What People Wanted To Hear.

Their Words, Like The Music, Had The Potential To Be Endless.

It Hadn't Even Occured To Me That Somebody Would Believe Mine.

If Nothing Else, Now We Knew Where To Find Each Other, Even If Only Time Would Tell If Either Of Us Would Ever Come Looking.

So Maybe It Wasn't The Fairy Tale. But Those Stories Weren't Real Anyway. Mine Were.

If He'd Been Any Other Boy, And This Was Any Other World, I Would Have Kissed Him. Nothing Could Have Stopped Me.

You Get What You Give, But Also What You're Willing To Take. The Night Before, I'd Offered Up My Hand. Now, If I Held On, There Was No Telling What It Was Possible To Recieve In Return.

It's Just That...i Just Think That Some Things Are Meant To Be Broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It's The Universe's Way Of Providing Contrast, You Know? There Have To Be A Few Holes In The Road. It's How Life Is.

It Was Like Discovering That Some Part Of You Wasn't Yours At All. And It Made Me Wonder What Else I Couldn't Claim.

I Think Having A Good Agent Is Key. I've Been With Mine For Ten Years Now, And She's Very Honest With Me. There Are A Lot Of Times I've Sent Her Books That Were Not So Good Because I Was Tired Of Writing, Or Panicked About Money, And She's Told Me Flat Out, "you Don't Want This To Be Your Next Book. Trust Me."

Sometimes It Seems Safer To Hold It All In, Where The Only Person Who Can Judge Is Yourself.

Quiet And Incredible. I Really Envy That.

Life Shouldn't Be About The Either/or. We're Capable Of More Than That, You Know?

It All Depends On How You Choose To Live It. It's Like Forever, Always Changing.

I Didnt Pay Atteniton To Times Or Distance, Instead Focusing On How It Felt Just To Be In Motion, Knowing It Wasn't About The Finish Line But How I Got There That Mattered.

Your Actions Is Like A Raindrop; It Falls Into The Pond Making Ripples And Then Its Over.

Harder To Get In Than Out, Like So Little Else.

I Just Stood There, Looking At Her. My Head Was Spinning, My Mouth Dry, And All I Could Think About Was That I Wanted To Go Someplace Safe, Someplace I Could Be Alone And Okay, And That This Was Impossible. My Old Life Had Changed And My New One Was Still In Progress, Altering By The Second. There Was Nothing, Nothing To Depend On. And Why Was I Surprised?

I Tried To Hold Myself Apart, Showing Only What I Wanted, Doling Out Bits And Pieces Of Who I Was. But That Only Works Out For So Long. Eventually, Even The Smallest Fragments Can't Help But, Make A Whole.

I Think Readers Are Just Looking For Things That Maybe They Recognize Or Can Relate To In The Books.

It Was So Easy To Disown What You Couldn't Recognize, To Keep Yourself Apart From Things That Were Foreign And Unsettling. The Only Person You Can Be Sure To Control, Always, Is Yourself. Which Is A Lot To Be Sure Of, But At The Same Time, Not Enough.

Maybe" She Said. "i Just Wish We'd Have A Little Mishap.it Would Be Reassuring

It's A Big Deal When You Finally Get The Chance To Do The One Thing You Want To Do - Need To Do - More Than Anything. It Can Kind Of Scare The Crap Out Of You.

Morgan Sighed. "i," She Announced, "am So Pathetic." "you Are Not," I Said. "i Am." She Went Over And Straightened The Cling Wrap, Corner To Corner. "do You Know How Many Times I've Brought In Devilled Eggs? This Is, Like, The Only Time I Haven't Been Sobbing And That's Only 'cause I Cried All Night. And Norman," She Said, Her Voice Rising To A Wail, "sweet Norman, Always Just Acts So Surprised To See The Eggs, And Pleased, And He Never, Once, Has Ever Acted Like He Knew What They Meant."

I Never Really Know What I'm Going To Write Next Until It Comes To Me. So We'll Just Have To See What Happens.

He's Getting Dumped. And He Doesn't Even Know It Yet. He's Probably Eating A Cheeseburger Or Flossing Or Picking Up His Dry Cleaning, And He Has No Idea. No Inkling.

I Have Boobs!" Chloe Said Again, A Bit Too Loudly— She'd Already Had A Couple Of Mini Bottles At The Spot. "my Boobs Are Great, Goddammit. You Know That? They're Fantastic! My Boobs Are Amazing.

So It Just Wasn't In My House. Anywhere, I Looked Like I Knew About The Toilet.

I Knew, In The Silence That Followed, That Anything Could Happen Here. It Might Be Too Late: Again, I Might Have Missed My Chance. But I Would At Least Know I Tried, That I Took My Heart And Extended My Hand, Whatever The Outcome. "okay," He Said. He Took A Breath. "what Would You Do, If You Could Do Anything?" I Took A Step Toward Him, Closing The Space Between Us. "this," I Said. And Then I Kissed Him.

Whether It Was A Song, A Person, Or A Story, There Was A Lot You Couldn’t Know From Just An Excerpt, A Glance, Or Part Of A Chorus.

You Know, When It Works, Love Is Pretty Amazing. It's Not Overrated. There's A Reason For All Those Songs.

Pieces And Parts Were Always Easier To Process. The Full Picture, The Entire Story, Was Another Thing Entirely. But You Just Never Knew. Sometimes, People Could Surprise You.

I'd Seen Another Shade Of Him, And If It Had Been Light Where We Were Now, He'd Have Seen The Same Of Me. So I Was Grateful, As I Had Been So Often In My Life, For The Dark.

I Walked Over, My Eyes Scanning Luna Blu, My House, And Dave's. But It Was The Building Behind Them, That Empty Hotel, That Had The Tiniest Light, Provided By One Word, Written In Fluorescent Paint. Maybe It Wasn't What Was Once There, In Real Life. But In This One, It Said It All: Stay.

Just Me And The Future, Finally Together. Now There Was A Happy Ending I Could Believe In.

You Can't Love Anyone That Way More Than Once In A Lifetime. It's Too Hard And It Hurts Too Much When It Ends.

Once In A Lifetime

Clearly, Sharing Something Could Take You A Long Way, Or At Least To A Different Place Than You'd Planned. Like A Friendship Or A Family, Or Even Jsut Alone On A Curb On A Saturday, Trying To Get Your Bearings As Best You Can.

That First Love. And The First One Who Breaks Your Heart. For Me, They Just Happen To Be The Same Person.

But Anyone Can Begin. It Was The Part With All The Promise, The Potential, The Things I Loved. More And More, Though, I Was Finding Myself Wanting To Find Out What Happened In The End.

I Just Do The Best I Can Under The Circumstances.

The Best Gifts Come From The Heart, Not The Store.

And No Relationship Is Perfect, Ever. There Are Always Some Ways You Have To Bend, To Compromise, To Give Something Up In Order To Gain Something Greater.

It Was Hard To Remember What The Yard Had Looked Like Even Twelve Hours Before, Undisturbed And Pristine. Like It Takes So Little To Change Something, But To Make You Forget The Way It Once Was, As Well.

That Was The Hard Thing About Grief, And The Grieving. They Spoke Another Language, And The Words We Knew Always Fell Short Of What We Wanted Them To Say.

Watching Him, I Thought, Not For The First Time That Night, That Maybe It Should Have Felt Strange To Be With Him, Here, Now. And Yet It Didn’t, At All. That Was One Of The Things About The Night. Stuff That Would Be Weird In The Bright Light Of Day Just Wasn’t So Much Once You Passed A Certain Hour. It Was Like The Dark Just Evened It All Out Somehow.

If You Have Just One Person Believe In You, You'll Always Find Your Way

It's Not Forever', She'd Said, But To My Mother, It Might As Well Have Been. She Had Make Her Choice, And This Was It, Where She Felt Safe, In A World She Could, For The Most Part, Control.

It Was Great. Freedom Even The Imagined Kind Always Is.

Teenagers Are A Great Audience And They Are Fearless About Asking What They Want To Know.

You Own A Tic Tac. Gum Is Just Borrowed. - Esther

But I'd Long Ago Learned Not To Be Picky In Farewells. They Weren't Guaranteed Or Promised. You Were Lucky, More Than Blessed, If You Got A Good-bye At All.

You, Have This Whole Tall, Dark Stranger Thing Going On. Not To Mention The Tortured Artist Bit. And You, Have That Whole Blonde Cool And Collected Perfect Smart Thing Going On. You're The Boy All The Girls Want To Rebel With. You, Are The Unattainable Girl In Homeroom Who Never Gives A Guy The Time Of Day.

As If At The Age Of Eighteen Life Already Sucked Beyond Any Hope Of Improvement.

Sometimes, You Get Things Right The First Time. Others, The Second. But The Third Time, They Say, Is The Charm.

You Want To Take Me To A Movie?" I Asked. "well, Not Really," He Said. "what I Really Want Is For You To Be My Girlfriend. But I Thought Saying That Might Scare You Off.

But You Only Get So Many Do-overs In This Life, So Many Chances To, If Not Change Your Past, Alter Your Future.

Eventually, It Wasn't Even Your Dad I Wanted, Just Anybody. Anybody At All.

I've Given Lots Of People Chances. But There's Only So Much Faith You Can Have In People.

If Something Doesn't Work Exactly Right, Or Maybe Needs Some Special Treatment, You Don't Just Throw It Away. Everything Can't Be Fully Operational All The Time. Sometimes, We Need To Have The Patience To Give Something The Little Nudge It Needs.

You Can Never Be Sure Of Anyone Until You're Close Enough To See Them Clearly.

What Did It Feel Like, I Wondered, To Love Someone That Much? So Much That You Couldn't Even Control Yourself When They Came Close, As If You Might Just Break Free Of Whatever Was Holding You And Throw Yourself At Them With Enough Force To Easily Overwhelm You Both.

Once, I Was Easy. Now, I Was Choosy. See? Big Difference.

That Was The Thing. You Never Got Used To It, The Idea Of Someone Being Gone. Just When You Think It's Reconciled, Accepted, Someone Points It Out To You, And It Just Hits You All Over Again, That Shocking.

Rogerson," I Asked Him Sweetly As We Sat Watching A Video In The Pool House, "where Would I Find The Pelagic Zone?" "in The Open Sea," He Said. "now Shut Up And Eat Your Junior Mints.

Next Thing You Know She'll Be On The Bus And Selling T-shirts In The Parking Lot, Showing Off Her Boobs To Get In The Stage Door." "at Least She Has Boobs To Show," Jess Said. "i Have Boobs," Chloe Said, Pointing To Her Chest. "just Because They're Not Weighing Me Down Doesn't Mean They're Not Substantial." "okay, B Cup," Jess Said, Taking A Sip Of Her Drink. "i Have Boobs!" Chloe Said Again, A Bit Too Loudly--she'd Already Had A Couple Of Minibottles At The Spot. "my Boobs Are Great, Goddammit. You Know That? They're Fantastic! My Boobs Are Amazing.

During This Time We've Been Apart, It's You I've Thought Of When I'm At My Weakest, And You Who Have Pulled Me Through.

Like Life Isn't Complicated Enough. You Should At Least Be Able To Follow The Signs.

Then What Are You Like, Annabel?" He Shot Back. "a Liar, Like You Told Me That First Day? Come On. That Was The Biggest Lie Of All.

I Drove Off, With My Friends Watching Me Go, All Of Them Grouped On Lissa's Hood. As I Pulled Onto The Road, I Glanced Into The Rearview And Saw Them: They Were Waving, Hands Moving Through The Air, Their Voices Loud, Calling Out After Me. The Square Of That Mirror Was Like A Frame, Holding This Picture Of Them Saying Good-bye, Pushing Me Forward, Before Shifting Gently Out Of Sight, Inch By Fluid Inch, As I Turned Away.

But If Everything Was Always Smooth And Perfect, You'd Get Too Used To That, You Know? You Have To Have A Little Bit Of Disorganization Now And Then. Otherwise, You'll Never Really Enjoy It When Things Go Right.

I Seriously Doubt That The Santa Police Do An Underwear Check." -cora

And I Felt A Sudden Whirl In My Head, Knowing This Leap Was Inevitable, That I Wasn't Just Standing On The Cliff, Toes Poking Over, But Already In Mid-air.

Lissa Lowered Her Voice And Added, "i Might Not Even Go To School Anyway. I Might Defer And Join The Peace Corps And Go To Africa And Shave My Head And Dig Latrines." "shave Your Head?" I Said, Because, Really, This Was The Most Ludicrous Part Of The Whole Thing. "you? Do You Have Any Idea How Ugly Most People's Bare Heads Are? They've Got All Kinds Of Bumps, Lissa. And You Won't Know Until It's Too Late And You're Flat-out Bald.

No, No, No To Tallyho.

I Hated High School. I Was Not The Greatest Student, Participated In No Activities, And Spent Most Of My Time Hanging Out In My Parking Lot.

You Know, I Think I Knew You For About Three Weeks Before I Ever Really Saw You Smile. And Then One Day, Morgan Said Something And You Laughed, And I Remember Thinking It Was Really Cool Because It Meant Something. You're Not The Kind Of Person Who Smiles For Nothing, Colie. I Have To Earn Every One.

But I Always Worked Harder When I Was Up Against Something, Or When Someone Assumed I Couldn't Succeed. That's What Drove Me, All Those Nights Studying. The Fact That So Many Figured I Couldn't Do It.

Remy: Did You Really Believe, That First Day, That We Were Meant To Be Together? Dexter: You're Here, Aren't You?

Instead, We Just Sat There, Together But Really Apart, Watching A Show About A Stranger And All Her Secrets, While Keeping Our Own To Ourselves, As Always.

Don't Be A Fool. Don't Give Up Something Important To Hold Onto Someone Who Can't Even Say They Love You.

At Every Wedding Someone Stays Home.

I Think If You're Going To Show A True Representation Of Any One Life, It Can't Be About Any One Thing. I Try To See More Of A Full Picture, With The Romance Just A Single Part.

It Was Like That Part Of My Life, Was Just Gone. It Was Almost Too Easy, For Something I Once Thought Had Meant Everything.

He Always Did The Leaving. But Not This Time. She Kept Walking, And Did Not Look Back.

Not Everything's Perfect, Especially In The Beginning. And Its All Right To Have A Little Bit Of Regret Every Once In A While. It's When You Feel It All The Time And Can't Do Anything About It... That's When You Get Into Trouble

Music Is A Total Constant. That's Why We Have Such A Strong Visceral Connection To It, You Know? Because A Song Can Take You Back Instantly To A Moment, Or A Place, Or Even A Person. No Matter What Else Has Changed In Your Or The World, That One Song Says The Same, Just Like That Moment.

Self Respect, Colie. If You Don't Have It, The World Will Walk All Over You.

I Realized How Truly Hard It Was, Really, To See Someone You Love Change Right Before Your Eyes. Not Only Is It Scary, It Throws Your Balance Off As Well.

I Love Ya, And It's Been A Really Good Fit For Me. But At Some Point, I Would Like To Try Something Else: A Collection Of Short Stories, Or Writing About Something Other Than High School. A Lot Has Happened To Me Since I Was Eighteen.

Home Wasn't A Set House, Or A Single Town On A Map. It Was Wherever The People Who Loved You Were, Whenever You Were Together.

When He First Put His Arms Around Me, It Was Tentative, Like Maybe He Expected I'd Pull Away. When I Didn't, He Moved In Closer, His Hands Smoothing Over My Shoulders, And In My Mind I Saw Myself Retreating A Million Times When People Tried To Do This Same Thing: My Sister Or My Mother, Pulling Back And Into Myself, Tucking Everything Out Of Sight, Where Only I Knew Where To Find It. This Time, Though, I Gave In. I Let Wes Pull Me Against Him, Pressing My Head Against His Chest, Where I Could Feel His Heart Beating, Steady And True.

Because You Can Never Go From Going Out To Being Friends, Just Like That. It's A Lie. It's Just Something That People Say They'll Do To Take The Permanence Out Of A Breakup. And Someone Always Takes It To Mean More Than It Does, And Then Is Hurt Even More When, Inevitably, Said ‘friendly' Relationship Is Still A Major Step Down From The Previous Relationship, And It's Like Breaking Up All Over Again. But Messier.

Once, This Had Been The Life I’d Wanted. Even Chosen. Now, Though, I Couldn’t Believe That There Had Been A Time When This Kind Of Monotony And Silence, This Most Narrow Of Existences, Had Been Preferable. Then Again, Once, I’d Never Known Anything Else.

What Were You Two Talking About?" She Whispered As Wes Pulls The Door Shut. Nothing," I Said. "running." You Should Have Seen Your Face," She Said, Her Breath Hot In My Ear. "sa-woooon.

I Always Say That Teenagers Are The First To Know If You're Pandering To Them.

Something Had Changed In Me, Even If I Didn't Know What It Was Just Yet. All I Could Think Was That I Felt Alive For The First Time.

I Am Never Happy When I Finish A Book. I Always Start Feeling Good, And Then I Get To About Page 75 And Start Losing Momentum - And I Kind Of Pull It Together At The End, But By Then I Think It's Just All Over. It's Become Almost A Running Joke Among My Agent And My Editor - I Always Say That, So They Don't Take Me Seriously Anymore.

Even If You Couldn't See It Beneath The Surface, Molecules Were Bonding, Energy Pushing Up Slowly, As Something Worked Do Hare, All Alone To Grow.

Each Time, I Think I'm Never Going To Write Another Book. It Never Gets Easier.

All You Could Do Was Take On As Much Weight As You Can Bear. And If You're Lucky, There's Someone Close Enough By To Shoulder The Rest.

Don't Give Me No Rotten Tomato, 'cause All I Ever Wanted Was Your Sweet Potato.

It Took A Lot Of Work To Be Perfect.

But She Wouldn't. I Knew That Already. My Mother And I Had An Understanding: We Worked Together To Be As Much In Control Of Our Shared World As Possible. I Was Suposed To Be Her Other Half, Carrying My Share Of The Weight. In The Last Few Weeks, I'd Tried To Shed It, And Doing So Sent Everything Off Kilter. So Of Course She Would Pull Me Tighter, Keeping Me In My Place, Because Doing So Meant She Would Always Be Sure, Somehow, Of Her Own.

Like It Takes So Little Not Only To Change Something, But To Make You Forget The Way It Once Was, As Well.

I Know You Guys Have Some Sort Of Weird Thing Going On, With That Game You Play And Everything—" "it's Called A Friendship.

I Turned And Looked Into The Gas Station, Where Wes Was Now Paying, As The Man Who'd Driven Us Looked On. "that's Too Bad," I Said. "it's Okay, Though," She Assured Me. "someday I'll Show You An Extraordinary Boy, Macy. They Do Exist. You Just Have To Believe Me." "don't Worry," I Said. "i Do.

I Don't Believe In Failure, Because Simply By Saying You've Failed, You've Admitted You Attempted. And Anyone Who Attempts Is Not A Failure. Those Who Truly Fail In My Eyes Are The Ones Who Never Try At All. The Ones Who Sit On The Couch And Whine And Moan And Wait For The World To Change For Them.

How Ballsy It Was To Just Assume You Know, With One Glance, The Things Another Person Could Live Without. As If It Was The Same For Everyone, That Simple.

With Love Like That, You Can't Get Pick About How It Finds You Or The Details. All That Matters Is That It's There. Better Late Than Never.

Better Late Than Never

As If He Was Beating Me To The Punch, His Words Living Forever, While I Was Left Speechless, No Rebuttal, No Words Left To Say.

Still, There Was Also Was Something Reassuring About Working For Commercial, Almost Hopeful. Like Things That Were Lost Could Be Found Again. As We Drove Away, I Always Tried To Imagine What It Would Be Like To Open Your Door To Find Something You Had Given Up On.

There Are Some Things In This World You Rely On, Like A Sure Bet. And When They Let You Down, Shifting From Where You've Carefully Placed Them, It Shakes Your Faith, Right Where You Stand.

Life Is An Awful, Ugly Place To Not Have A Best Friend.

I Wasn't Sure What I Expected Her To Do Or Say To This. It Was All New To Me From That Second On. But Clearly, She'd Been There Before. It Was Obvious In The Easy Way She Shrugged Off Her Bag, Letting It Fall With A Thump Onto The Sand, Before Sitting Down Beside Me. She Didn't Pull Me Close For A Big Bonding Hug Or Offer Up Some Saccharine Words Of Comfort, Both Of Which Would Have Sent Me Running For Sure. Instead She Gave Me Nothing But Her Company, Realizing Even Before I Did This That This, In Fact, Was Just What I Needed.

The Kind Who Live For Music And Are Constantly Seeking It Out, Anywhere They Can. Who Can't Imagine A Life Without It. They're Enlightened.

I Wasn't Very Happy In High School: It Was A Confusing And Sort Of Sad Time For Me.

There's A Kind Of Radar That You Get, After Years Of Being Talked About And Made Fun Of By Other People. You Can Almost Smell It When It's About To Happen, Can Recognize Instantly The Sound Of A Hushed Voice, Lowered Just Enough To Make Whatever Is Said Okay. I Had Only Been In Colby For A Few Weeks. But I Had Not Forgotten.

Maybe Marriage, Like Life, Is'nt Only About The Big Moments, Whether They Be Good Or Bad. Maybe It's All The Small Things — Like Being Guided Slowly Forward, Surely, Day After Day — That Stretches Out To Strengthen Even The Most Tenuous Bond.

I Had Stepped Into His Arms, Showing Him My Raw, Broken Heart.

You Just Looked..." She Said, Searching For The Word, "taken, You Know? Plus You Hardly Reacted To Wes. I Mean, You Did Alittle, But Nothing Like Most Girls. It Was A Little Swoon. Not A Sa-woon, You Know?" I Said, "sa-woon? Oh, Come On," She Said Shaking Her Head. "even A Blind Girl Could Tell He Is Amazing.

But In The Real World, You Couldnt Really Just Split A Family Down The Middle, Mom On One Side, Dad The Other, With The Child Equally Divided Between. It Was Like When You Ripped A Piece Of Paper Into Two: No Matter How You Tried, The Seams Never Fit Exactly Right Again. It Was What You Couldn't See, Those Tiniest Of Pieces, That Were Lost In The Severing, And Their Absence Kept Everything From Being Complete.

And Guys Don't Get Attached, Guys Don't Give Themselves Over Completely, And Guys Lie. That's Why They Should Be Handled With Great Trepidation, Not Trusted, And Held At Arm's Length Whenever Possible.

Too Many Locks, Not Enough Keys.

Call It Crazy, Or Just Chicken Salad. But Within Reason, Or Without It I Was In It Too.

Pretend To Be A Delinquent?" I Asked Clarifying. "you Can Do It," Dave Advised Me. "just Don't Smile, And Try To Look Like You're Considering Stealing Something.

I've Seen What Commitment Leads To. Going In Is The Easy Part. It's The Ending That Sucks! -remy

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