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The Trouble With The British Is That They Are Not Interested In Ideas. If Jesus Came Back Today And Offered To Speak For An Hour On British Television, They Would Say, "what! Another Talking Head?

-John Cleese

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The Trouble With The

John Cleese

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The Trouble With The British Is That They Are Not Interested In Ideas. If Jesus Came Back Today And Offered To Speak For An Hour On British Television, They Would Say, "what! Another Talking Head?

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Technology Frightens Me To Death. It's Designed By Engineers To Impress Other Engineers, And They Always Come With Instruction Booklets That Are Written By Engineers For Other Engineers - Which Is Why Almost No Technology Ever Works.

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I Don't Miss London Much. I Find It Crowded, Vast And Difficult To Get Around. Cabs Are Incredibly Expensive.

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If I Like Chocolate It Won't Surprise You That I Have A Few Chocolates In My Fridge, But If You Find Out I've Got 16 Warehouses Full Of Chocolate, You'd Think I Was Insane. All These Rich Guys Are Insane, Obsessive Compulsive Twits Obsessed With Money - Money Is All They Think About - They're All Nuts.

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Always Start Where The Energy Is.

Muslims, Who Have A Completely Different Value System, Come To The West, Then They Should Accept That There Are Certain Basic Values In The West Intrinsic To Our Culture. Just As I Wouldn't Suggest That Any Westerner Walk Down The Streets Of Saudi Arabia In A Bikini.

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When The Target Audience Is American Teenage Kids, You Can Have Problems. My Generation Prized Really Fine Acting And Writing. Sometimes You Have To Go Back To The Basic Principles Which Underpin Great Visual Comedy.

I Find It Rather Easy To Portray A Businessman. Being Bland, Rather Cruel And Incompetent Comes Naturally To Me.

I Have Several Times Made A Poor Choice By Avoiding A Necessary Confrontation.

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Life Is A Terminal Disease, And It Is Sexually Transmitted.

English Television From The Fifties To The Nineties Was The Least Bad In The World, And Now It's Just As Bad As It Is Anywhere.

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All Right, But Apart From The Sanitation, Medicine, Education, Wine, Public Order, Irrigation, Roads, The Fresh Water System And Public Health, What Have The Romans Ever Done For Us?

You Can Lead A Horse To Water But You Can't Make Him Enter Regional Distribution Codes In Data Field 97 To Facilitate Regression Analysis On The Back End.

The Very Essence Of Playfulness Is An Openness To Anything That May Happen, The Feeling That Whatever Happens, It's Okay... You're Either Free To Play, Or You're Not.

But Then Acting Is All About Faking. We're All Very Good At Faking Things That We Have No Competence With.

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The One Thing I Remember About Christmas Was That My Father Used To Take Me Out In A Boat About Ten Miles Offshore On Christmas Day, And I Used To Have To Swim Back. Extraordinary. It Was A Ritual. Mind You, That Wasn't The Hard Part. The Difficult Bit Was Getting Out Of The Sack.

Some Actors, I Think, Want To Feel That They Are As Creative As The Writer. And The Answer Is, Frankly, They're Not.

The World Is Insane. With Tiny Spots Of Sanity, Here And There... Not The Other Way Around!

I Wish You Wusses Would Stop Whining About Your Unhappiness. I'm Really Fed Up With It. Pour Yourself A Scotch And Pull Yourself Together. Go Out And Shoot Something!

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