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That's A Lovely Experience When You Make An Audience Laugh. Then The Nerves Go Away For A Bit. And Sometimes You Do Things Then That You've Never Done Before That Are Really Funny.

-John Cleese

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That's A Lovely Experience

John Cleese

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That's A Lovely Experience When You Make An Audience Laugh. Then The Nerves Go Away For A Bit. And Sometimes You Do Things Then That You've Never Done Before That Are Really Funny.

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Muslims, Who Have A Completely Different Value System, Come To The West, Then They Should Accept That There Are Certain Basic Values In The West Intrinsic To Our Culture. Just As I Wouldn't Suggest That Any Westerner Walk Down The Streets Of Saudi Arabia In A Bikini.

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I Love Having Different Cultures Around, But When The Parent Culture Kind Of Dissipates, You're Left Thinking, 'well, What's Going On?'

We Don't Know Where We Get Our Ideas From. What We Do Know Is That We Do Not Get Them From Our Laptops.

I Don't Miss London Much. I Find It Crowded, Vast And Difficult To Get Around. Cabs Are Incredibly Expensive.

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It’s Only On The Brink That People Find The Will To Change. Only At The Precipice Do We Evolve.

The One Thing I Remember About Christmas Was That My Father Used To Take Me Out In A Boat About Ten Miles Offshore On Christmas Day, And I Used To Have To Swim Back. Extraordinary. It Was A Ritual. Mind You, That Wasn't The Hard Part. The Difficult Bit Was Getting Out Of The Sack.

In Britain, Girls Seem To Be Either Bright Or Attractive. In America, That's Not The Case. They're Both.

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If You Are Leaping A Ravine, The Moment Of Takeoff Is A Bad Time For Considering Alternative Strategies... Do It In The 'closed' Mode. But The Moment The Action Is Over, Try To Return To The 'open' Mode... Because In That Mode We Are The Most Aware, Most Receptive, Most Creative, And Therefore At Our Most Intelligent.

It's Not The Despair, Laura. I Can Take The Despair. It's The Hope I Can't Stand.

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When You Get To My Age, And I'm 66 Now, You Realize That The World Is A Madhouse And That Most People Are Operating In Fantasy Anyway. So Once You Realise That, It Doesn't Bother You Much.

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Who's Ever Going To Write A Film In Which I Get The Girl? Me!

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Technology Frightens Me To Death. It's Designed By Engineers To Impress Other Engineers, And They Always Come With Instruction Booklets That Are Written By Engineers For Other Engineers - Which Is Why Almost No Technology Ever Works.

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I Don't Understand Why Very, Very Rich People Want To Have Even More Money Than They've Already Got.

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The Really Good Idea Is Always Traceable Back Quite A Long Way, Often To A Not Very Good Idea Which Sparked Off Another Idea That Was Only Slightly Better, Which Somebody Else Misunderstood In Such A Way That They Then Said Something Which Was Really Rather Interesting.

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My Hovercraft Is Full Of Eels.

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I Have Several Times Made A Poor Choice By Avoiding A Necessary Confrontation.

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I Can Do Anything I Want, I'm Eccentric!

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Aping Urbanity, Oozing With Vanity, Plump As A Manatee, Faking Humanity, Intellectual Inanity, Journalistic Calamity, Fox Noise Insanity, You're A Profanity, Hannity.

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If God Did Not Intend For Us To Eat Animals, Then Why Did He Make Them Out Of Meat?

I Think That I Feel An Indignation When I Don't Understand Something.

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I Can Certainly See That You Know Your Wine. Most Of The Guests Who Stay Here Wouldn't Know The Difference Between Bordeaux And Claret.

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I Used To Desire Many, Many Things, But Now I Have Just One Desire, And That's To Get Rid Of All My Other Desires.

Too Many People Confuse Being Serious With Being Solemn.

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I Think The Hard Thing For Young Comedians Is That The Majority Of The Young People In The Audience Out There Don't Have The Wide Range Of References.

This Is The Extraordinary Thing About Creativity: If Just You Keep Your Mind Resting Against The Subject In A Friendly But Persistent Way, Sooner Or Later You Will Get A Reward From Your Unconscious.

When You Do Comedy In Front Of An Audience, They Are The Ones Who Tell You Whether It's Funny Or Not And Which Bits Are Funny And Which Bits Need To Be Fixed.

The Americans Are So Much More Positive. They Are Much More In Love With Success. In Britain, They're A Fairly Envious Bunch, And They Love It If You Fail.

But Then Acting Is All About Faking. We're All Very Good At Faking Things That We Have No Competence With.

What Have The Romans Ever Done For Us?

Rhetorical Question

It's Easier To Be Creative If You've Got Other People To Play With.

The Very Essence Of Playfulness Is An Openness To Anything That May Happen, The Feeling That Whatever Happens, It's Okay... You're Either Free To Play, Or You're Not.

By Watching The Great, Old Comedians I Picked Up A Few Tricks About How To Do Physical Comedy. And Whenever I Could Learn Something, I Sort Of Added That To My Repertoire.

Sense Of Humor Is So Much More Subjective Than Anyone Believes.

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A Satisfied Customer. We Should Have Him Stuffed.

The Americans Are Just More Enthusiastic And More Likely To Engage In Hyperbole.

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When We Hold A World Championship For A Particular Sport, We Invite Teams From Other Countries To Play As Well.

If You Are Leaping A Ravine, The Moment Of Takeoff Is A Bad Time To Be Considering Alternative Strategies.

I Think The Problem With People Like This Is That They Are So Stupid That They Have No Idea How Stupid They Are.

I Would Say That I Began With A Very Edgy, Very Driven Personality And After A Sufficient Amount Of Therapy Over Many, Many Years, I Managed To Become Rather Relaxed And Happy.

The Most Creative People Have This Childlike Facility To Play.

Sci-fi Has Never Really Been My Bag. But I Do Believe In A Lot Of Weird Things These Days, Such As Synchronicity. Quantum Physics Suggests It's Possible, So Why Not?

This Is The Most Important Joke I've Ever Heard. Niels Bohr, The Founder Of Quantum Physics, Had A Friend To Dinner. As The Friend Left, He Noticed A Horseshoe Nailed Above Bohr's Front Door. He Said To Bohr, Accusingly, "niels, You're A Great Scientist. You Can't Believe In Superstitions." Bohr Answered, "i Don't, But Apparently It Works Anyway."as With Confirmation Bias, We Tend To Lean Toward Superstitions That Benefit Us.

I'm Struck By How Laughter Connects You With People. It's Almost Impossible To Maintain Any Kind Of Distance Or Any Sense Of Social Hierarchy When You're Just Howling With Laughter. Laughter Is A Force For Democracy.

Creativity Is Not The Possession Of Some Special Talent. It’s About The Willingness To Play.

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You Go In And Meet The Head Of Bbc One And Get An Assurance About Not Dumbing Down. And Then, Of Course A Few Months Later, He's Been Replaced By Someone You Haven't Met.

The Real Religion Is About The Understanding That If We Can Only Still Our Egos For A Few Seconds, We Might Have A Chance Of Experiencing Something That Is Divine In Nature. But In Order To Do That, We Have To Slice Away At Our Egos And Try To Get Them Down To A Manageable Size, And Then Still Work Some Practiced Light Meditation. So Real Religion Is About Reducing Our Egos, Whereas All The Churches Are Interested In Is Egotistical Activities, Like Getting As Many Members And Raising As Much Money And Becoming As Important And High-profile And Influential As Possible.

When I Was A Child And I Was Upset About Something, My Mother Was Not Capable Of Containing That Emotion, Of Letting Me Be Upset But Reassuring Me, Of Just Being With Me In A Calming Way. She Always Got In A Flap, So I Not Only Had My Own Baby Panics, Fears And Terrors To Deal With, But I Had To Cope With Hers, Too. Eventually I Taught Myself To Remain Calm When I Was Panicked, In Order Not To Upset Her. In A Way, She Had Managed To Put Me In Charge Of Her. At 18 Months Old, I Was Doing The Parenting.

The Trouble With The British Is That They Are Not Interested In Ideas. If Jesus Came Back Today And Offered To Speak For An Hour On British Television, They Would Say, "what! Another Talking Head?

That's A Lovely Experience When You Make An Audience Laugh. Then The Nerves Go Away For A Bit. And Sometimes You Do Things Then That You've Never Done Before That Are Really Funny.

If Life Were Fair, Dan Quayle Would Be Making A Living Asking 'do You Want Fries With That?'

Laughter Destroys Any Divisions Between People.

Although I Had Good Hand-eye Coordination, I Was So Tall And Skinny And Muscularly Weak That I Just Was Not Well Coordinated. But What I Started To Do Quite Early On Was Watch Some Of The Great Old Silent Comedians, Like Laurel And Hardy And Chaplin, And Then Later On Harold Lloyd And Buster Keaton.

All Right, But Apart From The Sanitation, Medicine, Education, Wine, Public Order, Irrigation, Roads, The Fresh Water System And Public Health, What Have The Romans Ever Done For Us?

If You Really Don't Know Where To Start Or If You're Stuck, Start Generating Random Connections And Allow Your Intuition To Tell You If One Might Lead Somewhere Interesting.

A Man Will Give Up Almost Anything Except His Suffering.

I Think That Money Spoils Most Things, Once It Becomes The Primary Motivating Force.

Creativity Is Not An Ability That You Either Have Or Do Not Have. It Is, For Example, And This May Surprise You, Absolutely Unrelated To Iq, Provided You're Intelligent Above A Certain Minimal Level.

Students Who Laugh More- Learn More. Students Who Laugh More Earn More.

Telling People How To Be Creative Is Easy - Being Creative Is Difficult.

My Mum Died About Three Years Ago At The Age Of 101, And Just Towards The End, As She Began To Run Out Of Energy, She Did Actually Stop Trying To Tell Me What To Do Most Of The Time.

It's Too Difficult To Start Right From Scratch And Try And Be Funny Out Of The Blue.

There's Nothing Good On The Television; Let's Burn A Witch. It Must Have Been Terribly Exciting To Live In Those Times.

I Want To Write A Book Which Is The History Of Comedy.

For Those Wondering How To Deal With Anxiety And Depression, The First Thing To Consider Is What You're Putting Into Your Mouth.

Filming Is Like A Long Air Journey: There's So Much Hanging Around And Boredom That They Keep Giving You Food.

The English Contribution To World Cuisine: The Chip.

You Can't Make Christ Funny. He's Self-aware, He's Too Flexible Within The Situation. It's Rigidity, It's When The Ego Takes Over And The Behavior Becomes Inappropriate That It Becomes Funny.

Loving Your Neighbour As Much As Yourself Is Practically Bloody Impossible? You Might As Well Have A Commandment That States,'thou Shalt Fly'.

When People Say 'i'm Not A Prude, But ...' What They Mean Is 'i Am A Prude, And ...'.

Your Mother Was A Hamster And You Father Smelled Of Elder Berries.

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