Background Image

...

The Neurotic Would Like To Trust His Analyst - If Only Because He's Paying Him So Much Money. But He Can't - Because If The Analyst Really Cared, He'd Be Doing It For Nothing.

-Mignon McLaughlin

...

Please Wait....
Translating....

The Neurotic Would Like

Mignon McLaughlin

...

The Neurotic Would Like To Trust His Analyst - If Only Because He's Paying Him So Much Money. But He Can't - Because If The Analyst Really Cared, He'd Be Doing It For Nothing.

Views: 9

Topic

More From Mignon McLaughlin

Of All Second-class Citizens, Neurotics Are The Only Ones Who Are So By Choice.

How Can A Man Marry Wisely In His Twenties? The Girl He's Going To Wind Up Wanting Hasn't Even Been Born.

If You Must Reread Old Love Letters, Better Pick A Room Without Mirrors.

The Chief Reason For Drinking Is The Desire To Behave In A Certain Way, And To Be Able To Blame It On Alcohol.

Creative Work Is One Of Life's Greatest Pleasures, And The Only One We Will Gladly Interrupt.

When Hope Is Hungry, Everything Feeds It

For The Happiest Life, Days Should Be Rigorously Planned, Nights Left Open To Chance.

If The Second Marriage Really Succeeds, The First One Didn't Really Fail.

The Neurotic's Strongest Fantasy Is That He Has No Fantasies. The Real Is Very Real To Him, The Unreal Even More So.

An Artist Usually Has No Friends Except Other Artists, And Usually They Do Not Like His Work.

One Of Life's Few Really Reliable Pleasures: To Have A Family You Love, And To Leave Them For A Week.

Vanity, Revenge, Loneliness, Boredom, All Apply: Lust Is One Of The Least Of The Reasons For Promiscuity.

Comfort, Or Revelation: God Owes Us One Of These, But Surely Not Both.

We Can Never Understand Other People's Motives, Nor Their Furniture.

Life Marks Us All Down, So It's Just As Well That We Start Out By Overpricing Ourselves.

The Poor Have The Same Basic Pleasures As The Rich, And The Rich Will Always Resent It.

Women Are The Right Age For Just A Few Years; Men, For Most Of Their Lives.

The Neurotic Has Perfect Vision In One Eye, But He Cannot Remember Which.

Anywhere You Go Liking Everyone, Everyone Will Be Likeable.

Positive Thinking

All Love Is Probationary, A Fact Which Frightens Women And Exhilarates Men.

Many Of Us Are Equal To Life's Emergencies Who Cannot Bear Its Day-after-dayness.

What A Shame That Allowances Have To Stop With The Teens: Both Those That Are Paid To Us And Those That Are Made For Us.

Everybody Can Write; Writers Can't Do Anything Else.

Throughout Our Lives, We See In The Mirror The Same Innocent Trusting Face We Have Seen There Since Childhood.

Each Day, The American Housewife Turns Toward Television As Toward A Lover. She Feels Guilty About It, And Well She Might, For He's Covered With Warts And Is Only After Her Money.

As We Grow Older, Our Capacity For Enjoyment Shrinks, But Not Our Appetite For It.

Desire Creates Havoc When It Is The Only Thing Between Two People, Or When It Is What's Missing.

No One Ever Loved Anyone The Way That Person Wanted To Be Loved.

Wanted To Be Loved

A Sense Of Humor Is A Major Defense Against Minor Troubles.

Nymphomaniac: A Woman As Obsessed With Sex As An Average Man.

Suburb: A Place That Isn't City, Isn't Country, And Isn't Tolerable.

I'm Always There To Tell People That Their Life Is Not That Bad. I Wish It Was Easy To Follow That Advice.

Says The Rude Child: "no, I Won't Do It." Says The Courteous Grown-up: "yes, I Won't Do It.

Most Of Us Can Easily Do Two Things At Once; What's All But Impossible Is To Do One Thing At Once.

The Neurotic Is Always Half-drowning In Anxiety, And Always Being Half-rescued.

True Remorse Is Never Just A Regret Over Consequences; It Is A Regret Over Motive.

Most Of Our Diversions Do Not So Much Delay Death As Accustom Us To It.

The Neurotic Listens To Weather Reports About Small Craft Warnings, And He Thinks: They're Talking About Me.

So Long As God Reveals Himself, Or Doesn't, He Is Behaving Like God.

Men Enjoy Being Thought Of As Hunters, But Are Generally Too Lazy To Hunt. Women, On The Other Hand, Love To Hunt, But Would Rather Nobody Knew It.

In Any Family, Measles Are Less Contagious Than Bad Habits.

The Young Do Not Need God, And The Old Cannot Find Him.

The Two Main Hazards Of Psychoanalysis: That It Might Fail, And That If It Succeeds, You'll Never Be Able To Forgive Yourself For All Those Wasted Years.

Neurotic Quarrels Always Have The Same Theme-song: Hate Me And Get It Over With.

If You Made A List Of Reasons Why Any Couple Got Married, And Another List Of The Reasons For Their Divorce, You'd Have A Hell Of A Lot Of Overlapping.

Theatre Audiences Can't Be Made To Think And Cry: At Best, They Can Be Made To Think And Laugh, Or To Feel And Cry.

In The Arithmetic Of Love, One Plus One Equals Everything, And Two Minus One Equals Nothing.

The Only Courage That Matters Is The Kind That Gets You From One Moment To The Next.

The First-rate Mind Is Always Curious, Compassionate, Original, And Pessimistic.

We're Seldom Drawn To A Character We Admire; Only To A Personality We Like.

At Night, Neurotics May Toil Not, But Oh How They Spin!

When Threatened, The First Thing A Democracy Gives Up Is Democracy.

Don't Look For God Where He Is Needed Most; If You Didn't Bring Him There, He Isn't There.

Love Looks Forward, Hate Looks Back, Anxiety Has Eyes All Over Its Head.

God And The Devil Lose To A Common Enemy: Inertia.

Puritans Will Never Believe It, But Life Is Full Of Disagreeable Things That Aren't Even Good For You.

The Proud Man Can Learn Humility, But He Will Be Proud Of It.

People Will Disapprove Of You If You're Unhappy, Or If You're Happy In The Wrong Way.

There Are A Handful Of People Whom Money Won't Spoil, And We All Count Ourselves Among Them.

We Have To Call It "freedom": Who'd Want To Die For "a Lesser Tyranny"

The Neurotic Usually Obeys His Own Golden Rule: Hate Thy Neighbor As Thyself.

A Love That Lasts For Twenty Years May Be Better Than Love, But It Isn't Love.

To Talk Easily With People, You Must Firmly Believe That Either You Or They Are Interesting. And Even Then It's Not Easy.

Don't Be Yourself - Be Someone A Little Nicer.

There Is Always Some Specific Moment When We Become Aware That Our Youth Is Gone; But, Years After, We Know It Was Much Later.

There Are Whole Years For Which I Hope I'll Never Be Cross-examined, For I Could Not Give An Alibi.

Make A Habit Of Telling The Truth, Or Make A Habit Of Lying: To Decide Each Case On Its Own Merits Is Exhausting, And Hardly Ever Worth It.

Telling The Truth

My Doctor Is Nice; Every Time I See Him, I'm Ashamed Of What I Think Of Doctors In General.

Men Really Prefer Reasonably Attractive Women; They Go After The Sensational Ones To Impress Other Men.

A Woman Telling Her True Age Is Like A Buyer Confiding His Final Price To An Armenian Rug Dealer.

Spring, Summer, And Fall Fill Us With Hope; Winter Alone Reminds Us Of The Human Condition.

We Work For Praise, And Dawdle Once We Have It.

Our Strength Is Often Composed Of The Weakness That We're Damned If We're Going To Show.

If You're A Gifted Flirt, Talking About The Price Of Eggs Will Do As Well As Any Other Subject.

Society Honors Its Living Conformists And Its Dead Troublemakers.

Desire Is In Men A Hunger, In Women Only An Appetite.

I Tell You This, And I Tell You Plain: What You Have Done, You Will Do Again; You Will Bite Your Tongue, Careful Or Not, Upon The Already-bitten Spot.

We Are All Such A Waste Of Our Potential, Like Three-way Lamps Using One-way Bulbs.

If There Is Something You Must Do And You Cannot Do It, You Cannot Do Anything Else.

The Neurotic Believes That Life Has Meaning, But That His Life Hasn't.

Your Money, Or Your Life. We Know What To Do When A Burglar Makes This Demand Of Us, But Not When God Does.

Nostalgia For What We Have Lost Is More Bearable Than Nostalgia For What We Have Never Had, For The First Involves Knowledge And Pleasure, The Second Only Ignorance And Pain.

The Ideal Home: Big Enough For You To Hear The Children, But Not Very Well.

Don't Ask Others To Forgive In You A Sin They're Dying To Commit Themselves.

When "why Not Do It?" Barely Outweighs "why Do It?" — Don't Do It.

The Neurotic Longs To Touch Bottom, So At Least He Won't Have That To Worry About Anymore.

If You Can Tell Anyone About It, It's Not The Worst Thing You Ever Did.

A Good Executive Is One Who Makes People Contentedly Settle For Less Than They Meant To Get, In Return For More Than They Meant To Give.

Neurotics Are Always Looking For Something New To Overdo.

There Are Now Electrical Appliances With The Main Unit So Sealed In That It Cannot Be Got At For Repair. There Have Always Been Human Beings Like That.

Not For Nothing Does The Neurotic Suffer - But Not For Anything Very Much, Either.

Few Novels Or Plays Could Exist Without At Least One Troublemaker In The Group, And Perhaps Life Couldn't Either.

Ma-ma Does Everything For The Baby, Who Responds By Saying Da-da First.

Those Who Turn To God For Comfort May Find Comfort But I Do Not Think They Will Find God.

We Come Late, If At All, To Wine And Philosophy: Whiskey And Action Are Easier.

If You Hate Your Lot But Wouldn't Trade It, It's Not Your Lot You Hate.

Happiness Is Like The Penny Candy Of Our Youth: We Got A Lot More For Our Money Back When We Had No Money.

Every American Child Should Grow Up Knowing A Second Language, Preferably English.

Self-confidence Grows On Trees, In Other People's Orchards.

Neurotics Have Plenty Of Non-neurotic Friends, But Not For Long.

Humiliation Is A Vast Country Of Imprecise Boundaries. If You Think You're There, You Are. The Neurotic Rule: When In Doubt, Go Ahead And Feel Humiliated.

Healthy Parakeets Have The Nervous Energy Of Tennis Players.

Anything You Do From The Heart Enriches You, But Sometimes Not Till Years Later.

The Past Is Strapped To Our Backs. We Do Not Have To See It; We Can Always Feel It.

Failure Can Get To Be A Rather Comfortable Old Friend.

It's Wonderful To Watch Pretty Women With Character Grow Beautiful.

Albert Einstein When Asked What He Considered To Be The Most Powerful Force In The Universe Answered: Compound Interest!

Many Things Can Make You Miserable For Weeks; Few Can Bring You A Whole Day Of Happiness.

We Choose Those We Like; With Those We Love, We Have No Say In The Matter.

We Are Seldom Happy With What We Now Have, But Would Go To Pieces If We Lost Any Part Of It.

Men Who Don't Like Girls With Brains Don't Like Girls.

After He Has Had His Tantrum, The Neurotic Expects Those Around Him To Feel Friendly And Relaxed; After All, He Does.

Life Is A Mixed Blessing, Which We Vainly Try To Unmix.

When Their Children Fail To Charm Others, Few Parents Can Stay Neutral.

A Critic Can Only Review The Book He Has Read, Not The One Which The Writer Wrote.

Nobody Ever Loved Anybody Like Everybody Wants To Be Loved.

Men Gossip Less Than Women, But Mean It.

When The Pain Is Great Enough, We Will Let Anyone Be Doctor.

To Smoke Or Not To Smoke: I Can Make Of Either A Life-work.

Cigarette Smoke

I Know Which Side My Bread Is Buttered On: The Side Which Falls On The Carpet.

The Fear Of Being Laughed At Makes Cowards Of Us All.

The Marriage Of Convenience Has This To Recommend It: We Are Better Judges Of Convenience Than We Are Of Love.

What You Can't Get Out Of, Get Into Wholeheartedly.

We Are Like People With Short-term Leases On Summer Cottages; We Can Never Seem To Make Our Provisions Come Out Even With Our Stay.

Forget About Calories - Everything Makes Thin People Thinner, And Fat People Fatter.

Many Who Would Not Take The Last Cookie Would Take The Last Lifeboat.

Hot Dogs Always Seem Better Out Than At Home; So Do French-fried Potatoes; So Do Your Children.

Love Requires A Willingness To Die; Marriage, A Willingness To Live.

As We Are Human, We Can't Do What We Can't Do; As We're Neurotic, We Can't Do What We Can.

What You Have Become Is The Price You Paid To Get What You Used To Want.

Cash Is The One Gift Everyone Despises And No One Turns Down.

If I Knew What I Was So Anxious About, I Wouldn't Be So Anxious.

A Parent Who Has Never Apologized To His Children Is A Monster. If He's Always Apologizing, His Children Are Monsters.

The Next Voice You Hear Will Undoubtedly Be Your Own.

We'd All Like A Reputation For Generosity, And We'd All Like To Buy It Cheap.

All Women Are Basically In Competition With Each Other For A Handful Of Eligible Men.

Be Glad That You're Greedy; The National Economy Would Collapse If You Weren't.

There Are Three Iron Links In The Neurotic's Chain: Unloving, Unlovable, Unloved.

Too Much Money Is As Demoralizing As Too Little, And There's No Such Thing As Exactly Enough.

The Hardest-learned Lesson: That People Have Only Their Kind Of Love To Give, Not Our Kind.

Neurotics Dream Of A Good Life, Or A Great Suicide Note.

The Best Work Is Done With The Heart Breaking, Or Overflowing.

Some Marriages Break Up, And Some Do Not, And In Our World You Can Usually Explain The Former Better Than The Latter.

Neurotic: Someone Who Can Go From The Bottom To The Top, And Back Again, Without Ever Once Touching The Middle.

Spite Is Never Lonely; Envy Always Tags Along.

You Will Turn Over Many A Futile New Leaf Till You Learn We Must All Write On Scratched-out Pages.

It's The Most Unhappy People Who Most Fear Change.

A Bore: One Who Knows As Well As You Do What He Is Going To Say Next.

It Upsets Women To Be, Or Not To Be, Stared At Hungrily.

Many Beautiful Women Have Been Made Happy By Their Own Beauty, But No Intelligent Woman Has Ever Been Made Happy By Her Own Intelligence.

Many Marriages Are Simply Working Partnerships Between Businessmen And Housekeepers.

The Three Horrors Of Modern Life - Talk Without Meaning, Desire Without Love, Work Without Satisfaction.

When We Discuss Those We Love With Those Who Do Not Love Them, The End Of Love Is Near.

If Only We Could Be Old And Sick While We're Still Young And Healthy Enough To Put Up With It!

We Lavish On Animals The Love We Are Afraid To Show To People. They Might Not Return It; Or Worse, They Might.

Affairs Are Just As Disillusioning As Marriage, And Much Less Restful.

A Woman Will Do Anything To Keep A Pretty Figure, But Hardly Anything To Get One.

Women Are Afraid Of Mice And Of Murder, And Of Very Little In Between.

You Can't Truthfully Explain Your Smallest Action Without Fully Revealing Your Character.

A Productive Marriage Requires Falling In Enjoy Numerous Occasions, Usually With The Identical Man Or Woman.

Women Polish The Silver And Water The Plants And Wait To Be Really Needed.

The Excesses Of Love Soon Pass, But Its Insufficiencies Torment Us Forever.

Neurotics Expect You To Remember All The Things That They Tell You, And Many That They Don't.

No Good Neurotic Finds It Difficult To Be Both Opinionated And Indecisive.

The Neurotic Keeps Minute Track Of His Enemies; It Is Only His Friends He Is Careless About.

Surrounded By People Who Love Life, You Love It Too; Surrounded By People Who Don't, You Don't.

We Semaphore From Ship To Ship, But They're Sinking, Too.

Mumps, Measles, And Puppy Love Are Terrible After Twenty.

No One Really Listens To Anyone Else, And If You Try It For A While You'll See Why.

We Often Pray To Be Better, When In Truth We Only Want To Feel Better.

Grasp Your Opportunities, No Matter How Poor Your Health; Nothing Is Worse For Your Health Than Boredom.

Only Where Children Gather Is There Any Real Chance Of Fun.

Without Enthusiasm, Virtue Functions Not At All, And Vice Only Poorly.

Others Follow Patterns; We Alone Are Unpredictable.

If You See In Your Children Most Of Your Own Faults, You Have Failed As A Parent, But Succeeded As A Neurotic.

When First We Fall In Love, We Feel That We Know All There Is To Know About Life, And Perhaps We Are Right.

Falling In Love

The Woman Just Ahead Of You At The Supermarket Checkout Has All The Delectable Groceries You Didn't Even Know They Carried.

Your Children Vividly Remember Every Unkind Thing You Ever Did To Them, Plus A Few You Really Didn't.

Neurotics Would Like To Sleep All The Time, And To Be Awakened Only When There Is Good News.

We Welcome Passion, For The Mind Is Briefly Let Off Duty.

Your Children Tell You Casually Years Later What It Would Have Killed You With Worry To Know At The Time.

Naturally, The Neurotic Wants You To Love Him Twice As Much, For He's Going To Cut It In Half Anyway.

We Wake In The Night, To Stereophonic Silence.

I'm Glad I Don't Have To Explain To A Man From Mars Why Each Day I Set Fire To Dozens Of Little Pieces Of Paper, And Then Put Them In My Mouth.

Women Are Never Landlocked: They're Always Mere Minutes Away From The Briny Deep Of Tears.

Women Flirt To Keep Their Stock High, Men To Get Somewhere.

When A Man Falls In Love, He Wants To Go To Bed. When A Woman Falls In Love, She Wants To Talk About It.

Falling In Love

There's Something In Every Atheist, Itching To Believe, And Something In Every Believer, Itching To Doubt.

Many Are Saved From Sin By Being So Inept At It.

Loneliness, Insomnia, And Change: The Fear Of These Is Even Worse Than The Reality.

Nobody Knows The Trouble We've Seen-but We Keep Trying To Tell Them.

The Only Mothers It Is Safe To Forget On Mother's Day Are The Good Ones.

Most Of Us Would Rather Risk Catastrophe Than Read The Directions.

Every Now And Then You Run Across Radiantly Attractive People And You're Delighted To Find They Adore You, Till You Realize That They Adore Just About Everybody - And That's What's Made Them Radiantly Attractive.

Most Of Us Become Parents Long Before We Have Stopped Being Children.

People Find It Hard To Be Both Comic And Serious, Though Life Manages It Easily Enough.

Few Of Us Could Bear To Have Ourselves For Neighbors.

Minor Vices Lead To Major Ones, But Minor Virtues Stay Put.

When Women Feel They Have Learned To Forgive Their Mothers - And Men, Their Fathers - All It Usually Means Is That They've Decided To Allow Themselves The Same Kind Of Behavior.

In Youth We Are Plagued By Desire; In Later Years, By The Desire To Feel Desire.

Trending Author

Leonard Boswell

Christopher Lasch

Category