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Respect Begins With This Attitude: "i Acknowledge That You Are A Creature Of Extreme Worth. God Has Endowed You With Certain Abilities And Emotions. Therefore I Respect You As A Person. I Will Not Desecrate Your Worth By Making Critical Remarks About Your Intellect, Your Judgment Or Your Logic. I Will Seek To Understand You And Grant You The Freedom To Think Differently From The Way I Think And To Experience Emotions That I May Not Experience." Respect Means That You Give The Other Person The Freedom To Be An Individual.

-Gary Chapman

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Respect Begins With This

Gary Chapman

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Respect Begins With This Attitude: "i Acknowledge That You Are A Creature Of Extreme Worth. God Has Endowed You With Certain Abilities And Emotions. Therefore I Respect You As A Person. I Will Not Desecrate Your Worth By Making Critical Remarks About Your Intellect, Your Judgment Or Your Logic. I Will Seek To Understand You And Grant You The Freedom To Think Differently From The Way I Think And To Experience Emotions That I May Not Experience." Respect Means That You Give The Other Person The Freedom To Be An Individual.

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Language Of Love

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Love Is Reaching Out To Try To Get To The Other Person.

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I Think That In Today's World, By Nature, We Are All Self-centered. And That Often Leads To Selfishness.

What We Do For Each Other Before Marriage Is No Indication Of What We Will Do After Marriage.

Before Marriage

Love Is Always Freely Given. Love Cannot Be Demanded. We Can Request Things Of Each Other, But We Must Never Demand Anything. Requests Give Direction To Love, But Demands Stop The Flow Of Love.

Life's Deepest Meaning Is Not Found In Accomplishments , But In Relationships

Love Is Something You Do For Someone Else, Not Something You Do For Yourself.

Power Of Forgiveness

Nobody Has The Power To Make You Miserable . . . Unless You Choose To Give Them That Power. Choose To Enjoy Every Drop Of Today!

Physically Abusive And Verbally Abuse Marriages Are Very, Very Difficult Situations. I Fully Understand People In Those Kinds Of Marriages Who Think There Is No Hope. I Also Know That The Advice That Is Given By Most People Is Simply... Get Out Of There As Fast As You Can.

Difficult Situations

Emotions Are Our Spontaneous Response To Life. We Have These Emotions, But If The Emotion Is A Negative Emotion, Then I Have A Choice To Say, "i Am Feeling Sad Tonight Because This Happened, But I Am Not Going To Let My Sadness Keep Me From Engaging My Wife In Conversation. "

I Am Not Minimizing Emotions. Emotions Are An Important Part Of Life.

Respect Begins With This Attitude: "i Acknowledge That You Are A Creature Of Extreme Worth. God Has Endowed You With Certain Abilities And Emotions. Therefore I Respect You As A Person. I Will Not Desecrate Your Worth By Making Critical Remarks About Your Intellect, Your Judgment Or Your Logic. I Will Seek To Understand You And Grant You The Freedom To Think Differently From The Way I Think And To Experience Emotions That I May Not Experience." Respect Means That You Give The Other Person The Freedom To Be An Individual.

The Person Who Is "in-love" Has The Ilusion That His Beloved Is Perfect.

Lack Of Love From Parents Often Motivates Their Children To Go Searching For Love In Other Relationships. This Search Is Often Misguided And Leads To Further Disappointment.

We Cannot Erase The Past, But We Can Accept It As History.

You Cannot Force Someone To Accept An Expression Of Love. You Can Only Offer It. If It Is Not Accepted, You Must Respect The Other Person's Decision.

I Think The Tingles Are Important. They Are Real, And I Am In Favor Of Their Survival. But They Are Not The Basis For A Satisfactory Marriage. I Am Not Suggesting That On Should Marry Without The Tingles. Those Warm, Excited Feelings, The Chill Bumps, That Sense Of Acceptance, The Excitement Of The Touch That Make Up The Tingles Serve As The Cherry On Top Of The Sundae. But You Cannot Have A Sundae With Only The Cherry.

Love Doesn't Keep A Score Of Wrongs. Love Doesn't Bring Up Past Failures. (1 Cor 13:5)

We Can Choose The Attitude That Says, I Have Been Wronged. People Have Hurt Me, But With The Help Of God, I Am Going To Learn How To Return Good For Evil, And I Am Going To Make A Difference In This World.

Forgiveness Is Not A Feeling; It Is A Commitment.

If You Grew Up In A Dysfunctional Family, Then There Is Really No Hope For You To Have A Good Relationship. That Is Another Myth That We Have To Throw Off, So That We Can Get Into What I Call Reality.

Good Relationship

Dysfunctional Family

We Can Look At The Pain In Our Lives. We Can Look At The Way We Have Been Mistreated, And We Can Have An Attitude Of, I Will Never Amount To Anything. I Have Been Wrong About People All My Life. I Am Going To Pay Somebody Back For This.

The In-love Experience Does Not Focus On Our Own Growth Or On The Growth And Development Of The Other Person. Rather, It Gives Us The Sense That We Have Arrived And That We Do Not Need Further Growth.

Togetherness Has To Do With Focused Attention. It Is Giving Someone Your Undivided Attention. As Humans, We Have A Fundamental Desire To Connect With Others. We May Be In The Presence Of People All Day Long, But We Do Not Always Feel Connected.

I Think People Desperately Want To Feel Love.

We Fail To Reckon With The Reality Of Human Nature. By Nature,we Are Egocentric. Our World Revolves Around Us. None Of Us Is Totally Altruistic.

True Love Cannot Begin Until The "in Love" Experience Has Run It's Course.

If We Are To Develop An Intimate Relationship, We Need To Know Each Other's Desires. If We Wish To Love Each Other, We Need To Know What The Other Person Wants.

Intimate Relationships

People Do Not Get Married Planning To Divorce. Divorce Is The Result Of A Lack Of Preparation For Marriage And The Failure To Learn The Skills Of Working Together As Teammates In An Intimate Relationship.

Intimate Relationships

Once You Identify And Learn To Speak Your Spouse’s Primary Love Language, I Believe That You Will Have Discovered The Key To A Long-lasting, Loving Marriage. Love Need Not Evaporate After The Wedding, But In Order To Keep It Alive Most Of Us Will Have To Put Forth Effort To Learn A Secondary Love Language. We Cannot Rely On Our Native Tongue If Our Spouse Does Not Understand It. If We Want Them To Feel The Love We Are Trying To Communicate, We Must Express It In His Or Her Primary Love Language.

Ask Yourself: Does The Action I Am Considering Have Any Potential For Dealing With The Wrong And Helping The Relationship? And Is It Best For The Person At Whom I Am Angry? The Two Most Constructive Options Are Either To Confront The Person In A Helpful Way, Or To Consciously Decide To Overlook The Matter.

When I Admit My Own Imperfections, It Doesn't Mean I Am A Bad Person.

Every Single Day In A Marriage, We Influence Each Other. It Is A Matter Of Am I Going To Have A Positive Influence Or A Negative Influence?

The Object Of Love Is Not Getting Something You Want But Doing Something For The Well-being Of The One You Love.

Most People Spend Far More Time In Preparation For Their Vocation Than They Do In Preparation For Marriage.

I Would Encourage You To Make Your Own Investigation Of The One Whom, As He Died, Prayed For Those Who Killed Him: 'father Forgive Them For They Know Not What They Do.' That Is Love's Ultimate Expression.

The Getting Out Part [of Advise] May Well Be True. Because If You Have Tried The Tender Love Thing... Typically The Abuser Is Not Going To Change Until They Are Pushed In A Corner.

I Think One Of The Myths Is That People Don't Change. A Lot Of People Believe That. Their Spouse Has Been An Alcoholic For The First 10 Years Of The Marriage, And They Say They Are Never Going To Change.

Most Of Us Have More Potential Than We Will Ever Develop. What Holds Us Back Is Often A Lack Of Courage.

Conflicts Are Not A Sign You've Married The Wrong Person. They Simply Affirm You Are Human.

Love Is The Fundamental Building Block Of All Human Relationships. It Will Greatly Impact Our Values And Morals. I Am Also Convinced That Love Is The Most Important Ingredient In The Single 's Search For Meaning.

Real Love" - "this Kind Of Love Is Emotional In Nature But Not Obsessional. It Is A Love That Unites Reason And Emotion. It Involves An Act Of The Will And Requires Discipline, And It Recognizes The Need For Personal Growth.

God Has The Potential Of Touching People's Hearts And Changing Them.

The Pattern Often Has Been Entrenched Since Childhood... [abusive People] Don't Think That There Is Anything Wrong With Them Because That Is The Way They Were Brought Up In Their Family.

On The Other Hand, If I Walk In The House, I Don't Even Bother To Find Her, I Just Walk In The Den And Flip On The Tv, Get Myself Something To Drink, Sit Down, Start Unwinding, I Have Influenced My Wife In A Very Negative Way.

One [reality] Is That I Am Responsible For My Attitude. I Can Be In Prison, And I Happen To Get A Chance To Go Outside. I Can Look At The Mud, Or I Can Look At The Stars. I Am The One Who Decides Which Way To Look. That Is True For Every One Of Us.

Another Reality About Relationships Is That They Are Never Static. All Of Us Experience Changes In Relationships But A Few Stop To Analyse Why A Relationship Gets Better Or Worse.

This Is A Huge Thing If You Are Going To Have A Positive Impact On Your Spouse. You Have To Not Only Realize This, But You Have To Practice This.

Sex Is The Joining Of Two Bodies; Love Is The Joining Of Two Souls.

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