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Emotions Are Our Spontaneous Response To Life. We Have These Emotions, But If The Emotion Is A Negative Emotion, Then I Have A Choice To Say, "i Am Feeling Sad Tonight Because This Happened, But I Am Not Going To Let My Sadness Keep Me From Engaging My Wife In Conversation. "

-Gary Chapman

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Emotions Are Our Spontaneous

Gary Chapman

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Emotions Are Our Spontaneous Response To Life. We Have These Emotions, But If The Emotion Is A Negative Emotion, Then I Have A Choice To Say, "i Am Feeling Sad Tonight Because This Happened, But I Am Not Going To Let My Sadness Keep Me From Engaging My Wife In Conversation. "

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Physician Albert Scheweitzer Said. " We Are All So Much Together, But We Are All Dying Of Loneliness." Professor Leo Buscaglia Notes, "there Seems To Be Accumulating Evidence That There Is Actually An Inborn Need For This Togetherness, This Human Interaction, This Love. It Seems That Without These Close Ties With Other Human Beings, A New Born Infant, For Example, Can Regress Developmentally, Lose Consciousness, Fall Into Idiocy And Die.

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I Am Amazed By How Many Individuals Mess Up Every New Day With Yesterday. They Insist On Bringing Into Today The Failures Of Yesterday And In So Doing, They Pollute A Potentially Wonderful Day.

Most Of Us Have More Potential Than We Will Ever Develop. What Holds Us Back Is Often A Lack Of Courage.

For Love, We Will Climb Mountains, Cross Seas, Traverse Desert Sands, And Endure Untold Hardships. Without Love, Mountains Become Unclimbable, Seas Uncrossable, Deserts Unbearable, And Hardships Our Lot In Life.

Requests Give Direction To Love, But Demands Stop The Flow Of Love.

My Attitude Affects My Actions. So, If I Have A Negative Attitude About It, Then It Is Going To Show Up In The Way I Respond, But If I Have A Positive Attitude, Then I Start Looking For The Things I Can Do That Will Make My Life Better And Make The Lives Of People Around Me Better.

Emotions Are Our Spontaneous Response To Life. We Have These Emotions, But If The Emotion Is A Negative Emotion, Then I Have A Choice To Say, "i Am Feeling Sad Tonight Because This Happened, But I Am Not Going To Let My Sadness Keep Me From Engaging My Wife In Conversation. "

Love Is The Fundamental Building Block Of All Human Relationships. It Will Greatly Impact Our Values And Morals. I Am Also Convinced That Love Is The Most Important Ingredient In The Single 's Search For Meaning.

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I Hope The Reader's Sense That I Am Deeply Empathetic With The Pain Of Being In A Desperate Marriage, But I Also Believe That The Person Who Is Married To The Abuser Or The Alcoholic Or Whomever Has The Greatest Potential For Helping Them.

Sex Is The Joining Of Two Bodies; Love Is The Joining Of Two Souls.

All Of Us Blossom When We Feel Loved And Wither When We Do Not Feel Loved.

What Is Emotional Intimacy? It Is That Depp Sense Of Being Connected To One Another. It Is Feeling Loved, Respected And Appreciated, While At The Same Time Seeking To Reciprocate. To Feel Loved Is To Have The Sense That The Other Person Genuinely Cares About Your Well-being. Respect Has To Do With Feeling That Your Potential Spouse Has Positive Regard For Your Personhood, Intellect, Abilities And Personality. Appreciation Is That Inner Sense That Your Partner Values Your Contribution To The Relationship.

People Tend To Criticize Their Spouse Most Loudly In The Area Where They Themselves Have The Deepest Emotional Need.

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Love Can Be Expressed And Received In All Five Languages. However, If You Don't Speak A Person's Primary Love Language, That Person Will Not Feel Loved, Even Though You May Be Speaking The Other Four. Once You Are Speaking His Or Her Primary Love Language Fluently, Then You Can Sprinkle In The Other Four And They Will Be Like Icing On The Cake.

A Child May Be "spoiled" By A Lack Of Training Or By Inappropriate Love That Gives Or Trains Incorrectly.

Over The Long Haul, Many Of Those People [in A Difficult Marriage] Will Begin To Reciprocate, Because You Are Meeting A Basic Need In Their Life, The Need For Love, And They Know They Don't Deserve Love Many Times.

A Soft Answer Turns Away Anger.

Sometimes When The Spouse Is Really The Culprit, It Is Hard To Admit What You Consider Your Little Failures, But If You Are Going To Have A Better Relationship, You Admitting Your Part In The Dynamics Is A Step In The Road To Healing. Because If They See You Modeling Apology, For Example, And They See You Modeling Love, They May Well Get The Idea That Maybe They Need To Apologize.

Very Few Alcoholics Get Into A Treatment Program Until They Are At The End Of The Rope, Often When They Feel Like They Are About To Lose Something That Is Important To Them, Namely A Wife Or Their Family. The Same Is True With Those Who Are Physically And Verbally Abusive.

Don't Be A Victim Of The Urgent. In The Long Run, Much Of What Seems So Pressing Right Now Won't Even Matter. What You Do With Your Children Will Matter Forever.

On The Other Hand, If I Walk In The House, I Don't Even Bother To Find Her, I Just Walk In The Den And Flip On The Tv, Get Myself Something To Drink, Sit Down, Start Unwinding, I Have Influenced My Wife In A Very Negative Way.

Love Doesn't Erase The Past, But It Makes The Future Different.

Love Is Reaching Out To Try To Get To The Other Person.

We Cannot Rely On Our Native Tongue If Our Spouse Does Not Understand It. If We Want Them To Feel The Love We Are Trying To Communicate, We Must Express It In His Or Her Primary Love Language.

Love Is Always Freely Given. Love Cannot Be Demanded. We Can Request Things Of Each Other, But We Must Never Demand Anything. Requests Give Direction To Love, But Demands Stop The Flow Of Love.

This Book [desperate Marriages ] Is Really A Book On How To Be A Positive Change Agent In A Very, Very Difficult Marriage. I Am Not Promising That All Individuals Will Be Responsive To The Approach I Take, But I Do Believe That Many Marriages Could Be Saved... Could Be Healed. That Is My Hope.

Before I Discovered The Concept Of The 5 Love Languages, A Bit Of Advice I Was Given Was To Become A Student Of My Wife And To Take Time To Learn What Makes Her Feel Loved. I Soon Learned That What Makes Her Feel Loved May Not Always Be The Thing I Want To Do Because It May Not Come Natural To Me. But Learning To Love Her In The Way That Makes Her Feel Loved Is A Greater Demonstration Of My Love For Her, Because I've Chosen To Do It With A Goal Of Pleasing Her.

In A Difficult Marriage, Both Of Us Have Failed Each Other. Even Though One May Be The Major Problem,you Also Have Failed Often In The Way You Have Responded To Them, The Way You Have Treated Them, In The Way You Have Handled Your Hurt And Your Pain.

We Fail To Reckon With The Reality Of Human Nature. By Nature,we Are Egocentric. Our World Revolves Around Us. None Of Us Is Totally Altruistic.

We Cannot Erase The Past, But We Can Accept It As History.

Remember That Your Ultimate Goal Is For Your Children To Grow Up Secure In Your Love, Strong In Their Faith, And With Sound Character.

Conflicts Are Not A Sign You've Married The Wrong Person. They Simply Affirm You Are Human.

I Am Amazed By How Many Individuals Mess Up Every New Day With Yesterday.

Nobody Has The Power To Make You Miserable . . . Unless You Choose To Give Them That Power. Choose To Enjoy Every Drop Of Today!

We Can Choose The Attitude That Says, I Have Been Wronged. People Have Hurt Me, But With The Help Of God, I Am Going To Learn How To Return Good For Evil, And I Am Going To Make A Difference In This World.

Love Is Something You Do For Someone Else, Not Something You Do For Yourself.

Power Of Forgiveness

Most People Spend Far More Time In Preparation For Their Vocation Than They Do In Preparation For Marriage.

We Are Trained To Analyze Problems And Create Solutions. We Forget That Marriage Is A Relationship, Not A Project To Be Completed Or A Problem To Solve.

Inspirational Marriage

Inside Every Child Is An 'emotional Rani's Waiting To Be Filled With Love. When A Child Really Feels Loved, He Will Develop Normally But When The Love Tank Is Empty, The Child Will Misbehave. Much Of The Misbehavior Of Children Is Motivated By The Cravings Of An Empty 'love Tank

Language Of Love

True Love Cannot Begin Until The "in Love" Experience Has Run It's Course.

If We Are To Develop An Intimate Relationship, We Need To Know Each Other's Desires. If We Wish To Love Each Other, We Need To Know What The Other Person Wants.

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