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If You Want To Be Successful, You Have To Jump, There's No Way Around It. When You Jump, I Can Assure You That Your Parachute Will Not Open Right Away. But If You Do Not Jump, Your Parachute Will Never Open. If You're Safe, You'll Never Soar!

-Steve Harvey

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If You Want To

Steve Harvey

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If You Want To Be Successful, You Have To Jump, There's No Way Around It. When You Jump, I Can Assure You That Your Parachute Will Not Open Right Away. But If You Do Not Jump, Your Parachute Will Never Open. If You're Safe, You'll Never Soar!

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In Order To Overcome Fear, Your Dream Must Become Bigger Than Fear.

You've Got To Be In A Bad Relationship To Really Understand What A Great One Is.

Hollywood Is Run By People Who Sit Up In Their Executive Office, Who Are Not Connected To Mississippi, Alabama, Chicago, South Carolina. They Know Nothing About That, They Don't Go To Church, And They Make Their Decisions About What They Think Is Right.

I Know How Men Think When They're Not Responding To Questions In A Clinical Study.

You Can Take Lessons To Become Almost Anything: Flying Lessons, Piano Lessons, Skydiving Lessons, Acting Lessons, Race Car Driving Lessons, Singing Lessons. But There's No Class For Comedy. You Have To Be Born With It. God Has To Give You This Gift.

Hip-hop Is A Beautiful Thing. I Think That The Music Genre Itself Has Created More Millionaires Than Any Other Music Genre Before It, Especially In Our Community.

How Can Smart Women Be So Stupid About Men Sometimes? Lack Of Knowledge. It's What Men Have Kept Secret For So Long.

Men Don't Come Up To You To Just Talk. We Come Up To You With A Plan. We're Looking Across The Room At You, And We Don't Care About Your Hopes And Dreams. We Don't Care About What Your Future Holds. We Saw Something We Wanted.

I Never Say "nagging". I Think That "nagging" Is A Term That Men Created To Get Women To Pipe Down Some. But It's A Trap That We've Created. We Created Several Terms For Women To Back You Down. Nagging Means To Stop Asking Me Questions, Then We Get Away With More. I Think It's A Term Men Created.

I Don't Think It's Cool For People To Say, 'you Shouldn't Reference God Because I Don't Believe That, And I Don't Want To Hear It.' Well, There's A Lot Of Stuff I Don't Believe That I Still Gotta Hear.

If You Don't Believe In God, Then Where Is Your Moral Barometer?

All I'm Telling You To Do Is To Be Smart About It. Know That If This Man Isn't Looking For A Serious Relationship, You're Not Going To Change His Mind Just Because You Two Are Going On Dates And Being Intimate. You Could Be The Most Perfect Woman On The Lord's Green Earth-you're Capable Of Interesting Conversation, You Cook A Mean Breakfast, You Hand Out Backrubs Like Sandwiches, You're Independent (which Means, To Him, That You're Not Going To Be In His Pockets)-but If He's Not Ready For A Serious Relationship, He Going To Treat You Like Sports Fish.

I Think That We, As The African-american Men In Hip-hop, We Have A Greater Responsibly Because We Have The Ears Of So Many Millions Of Our Young People. And They Listenin'.

I Never Saw Myself Not Being A Stand-up. That Was My Plan.

If A Man Loves You . . . He's Willing To Profess It. He'll Give You A Title After A While. You're Going To Be His Lady, His Woman, His Fiancée, His Wife, His Baby's Mama, Something.

You Can Be Happy, Or You Can Be Right. If You Want To Be Part Of A Couple And Win Every Argument, You're In Trouble.

Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man

But Remember What Drives A Man; Real Men Do What They Have To Do To Make Sure Their People Are Taken Care Of, Clothed, Housed, And Reasonably Sastisfied, And If They're Doing Anything Less Than That, They're Not Men.

The Best Timed Joke Or The Best Timed Phrase Comes At Spontaneous Moments And Just Relies On Me As The Host To Be Very Quick, And That's What I Do.

I Tell People I'm A Stand-up Comedian Two Hours A Week. The Rest Of The Time, I'm Somebody's Husband, I'm Somebody's Father. I'm A Man. I Take Great Pride In That.

If You Ain't Nothing When You Get Money And Fame, You're Just Going To Be More Nothing. If You Don't Stand For Nothing, When You Get Money And Fame, You Ain't Suddenly Fin To Stand For Nothing! You're Just Fin To Be Richer And More Famous - Standing For Nothing!

Men Are, By Nature, Hunters, And Women Have Been Put In The Position Of Being The Prey.

You're An Investigator - Can't Nobody Find Stuff Out Like A Woman. Y'all Put The Police To Shame, Make The Little Investigative Tricks They Show On Csi And Law & Order: Svu Look Like Counting Lessons On Sesame Street.

The Cookie Is The Critical Part. It's A Word I Created For Sex And You've Got To Give A Man All Three Things. If You Miss One Out, He Is Going To Find It Somewhere Else.

I've Had My Share Of Problems Along The Way. Don't Get Me Wrong, Because There Is No School For This. You Go From A Poor Person To A Rich Person. My Parents Didn't Have No Money; Didn't Tell Me Nothing About Investments.

You Don't Just Sit In The Car And Let Some Guy Drive You Through Life, Wasting Your Time.

Wasting Your Time

I Was Always A Dreamer With High Aspirations, But I Kept Coming Up Short My Whole Life.

My Father Was Married To Mother 'til The Day He Died, For Over 64 Years. He's Why I Kept Trying To Get The Marriage Thing Right. All I Knew Growing Up Was That My Father Was Married To And Loved My Momma, Period. He Worked Hard, Made Some Money, And Put It On The Dresser. She Spent It On The Family, And He Went Out And Earned Some More. He Taught Me The Most About Love.

I Don't Rehearse On Either Of My Shows, 'family Feud' Or My Talk Show. I Never Rehearse With The Guests. I Don't Want To Have Any Preconceived Thoughts, Notions, Because That Kills My Creativity As A Host And As A Stand Up.

If I Were An Animal, I'd Probably Be A Bald Eagle, Since I'm Already Bald And I Love To Fish. But I'd Probably Be A Shaky-ass Eagle Because I'm Afraid Of Flying.

We All Think That This Relationship Thing Is A Game Out Here. All I'm Saying To Women Is, "okay. If It's A Game, Here Are The Rules That We Play By".

Love Is Never Going To Go Out Of Style, A Man Is Always Going To Want To Have The Love Of A Woman. She Just Needs A Game Plan To Work Out How To Get His Love.

Tv Is A Different Animal. I Belong On That Little Screen. The Big Silver Screen, Not So Much, 'cause I've Seen My Face Up Close When It's 25-feet Tall. I'm Okay As Long As You Keep Me In That Little Box.

Your Reality Is Yours. Stop Wasting Time Looking At Someone Else's Reality While Doing Nothing About Yours.

I Don't Have 'the Jerry Springer Show'. I Just Got 'family Feud', But Some Of Them Families, When They Lose, Man, They Have Some Real Conversations With Each Other Back Behind That Wall, But I've Never Been Involved In Any Of Them.

If You'd Asked Me Then If I Saw How Big "the Steve Harvey Morning Show" Was Going To Be, I Couldn't Tell You. But I Knew I Could Reach People Not As A Character But As Steve Harvey, Because Although I Tell Jokes For A Living, I've Also Lived, And I Think I Can Relate To You More Than You Know.

A Lot Of Times We Expect People Who Get Money And Fame To Suddenly Become This "role Model" Or This "icon." That Ain't How It Works. Money And Fame - All It Does It Just Allows You To Be More Of Who You Really Are.

The Number One Cause Of Failure In This Country Is The Fear Of Failure.

One Of The Biggest Misconceptions That A Woman Has Is That A Man Has To Accept Her The Way She Is. No, We Don't. I Don't Know Who Told You That. We Like The Bright And Shiny. If You Stop Wearing The Makeup, Stop Putting On Nail Polish, Stop Wearing High Heels, You'll Lose Us.

If You're A Generous Person, When You Get Money And Fame, You're Going To Be More Generous. If You're A Sharer, You're Going To Be More Sharing. If You're A Coward, You're Just Going To Be A Bigger Coward. That's All Money And Fame Does.

I'm Not A Doctor. I Just Have A Tremendous Amount Of Common Sense.

All I Knew Growing Up Was That My Father Was Married To And Loved My Momma, Period. He Worked Hard, Made Some Money, And Put It On The Dresser. She Spent It On The Family, And He Went Out And Earned Some More. He Taught Me The Most About Love.

You've Got To Quit Lowering Your Standards. Set Your Requirements Up Front So When A Guy Hooks You, He Has To Know This Is Business.

A Guy That's Really Serious About You, He's Gotta Be Talking To You, He's Gotta Want To Have One-on-one, In-your-face Interaction. That's How We Are.

I'm Just A Living Witness That You Can Be An Imperfect Soldier And Still Be In The Army Fighting For God Almighty. Don't You Think You Got To Be Perfect 'cause I Ain't.

People Don't Like To Hear The Truth Out Here Cause The Truth Makes Them Think.

Every Day, President Obama Sends A Beautiful Message About How We Should Treat Our Women Based On How He Treats His Wife. When People Went After His Wife During The Campaign, He Took A Stand.

The Only Way Woman Can Truly Be Completely Satisfied Is To Get Herself Four Different Men--an Old One, An Ugly One, A Mandingo, And A Gay Guy.

Through A Lot Of Conversations With The Minister [louis Farrakhan] You've Got To Know When To Say Something. But If You Are Forever Going To Be Afraid To Say Anything, Then You Become Irrelevant - As A Force. I Mean, So The God-given Gift That You Got, You're Not A Relevant Player In The Game - You're Just A Dude Whose Got Money, Got A Big House And Some Cars.

The Hip Hop Community Is Not At Fault Here - I'm Definitely Not Blaming Them. But, That Can't Be The Only View Of Manhood For Our Young Men.

There's A Lot More To Me Than Just Funny.

Women Want Their Love To Be Reciprocated In The Same Way They Give It; They Want Their Romantic Lives To Be As Rewarding As They Make Them For Their Potential Mates; They Want The Emotions That They Turn On Full Blast To Be Met With The Same Intensity; And They Expect The Premium They Put On Commitment To Be Equally Adhered To, Valued, And Respected.

When I First Got Money, I Went Through It Like Everybody Else, Because I Didn't Know. But, Right Now, I've Educated Myself And Placed Smart People Around Me. I Surrounded Myself With People Who Not Only Are Intelligent And Effective About Finances, Taxes, And Money Management, But They (also) Love Me.

Being On A Comedy Tour Is Like Traveling With Family, Everyone Is All Having A Great Time... Then All Of A Sudden It Turns Sour. One Thing Gets Said Out Of Turn, And Everyone Is On Everyone's Last Nerve. After An Hour Of Silence, We All Start Laughing About It.

I Think There Are So Many Books Out There Written On Relationships And Romance That Women Are The Authors Of. How Can Women Know Exactly How Men Think? And There Are So Many Guys Out There With Relationship Books Who Are Just Not Telling The Truth. They Have Shaded Parts.

Comedians Walk Out, Get A Feel For The Crowd. If It's Not Going Good, We Change Directions. If We Got To Drag Your Momma Into This Thing, We Will. Whatever We Got To Do.

I Was Raised By A Mother Who Was A Sunday School Teacher And A Father Who Worked Hard. Together They Taught Me To Give Back.

It's A Woman's Right To Know A Man's Intentions Upfront. Because, Once You Get Emotionally Attached To A Man And You Sleep With Him, It's Too Late.

To Us, Your Power Comes From One Simple Thing: You’re A Woman, And We Men Will Do Anything Humanly Possible To Impress You So That, Ultimately, We Can Be With You. You’re The Driving Force Behind Why We Wake Up Every Day. Men Go Out And Get Jobs And Hustle To Make Money Because Of Women. We Drive Fancy Cars Because Of Women. We Dress Nice, Put On Cologne, Get Haircuts And Try To Look All Shiny And New For You. We Do All Of This Because The More Our Game Is Stepped Up, The More Of You We Get. You’re The Ultimate Prize To Us.

Anyone Can Sleep With A Guy In 24-48 Hours, But You're Sending The Wrong Signal To The Guy If You Do That.

The Problem Is, Women Have Stopped Setting The Bar High.

The Lord Saved My Soul.

God Does Things For Us Because He Trusts Us; That When He Gives It To Us, That We Will Do The Right Thing. We'll Open Up Our Eyes And See The Plan He Has For Us. If We're Not Going To Open Up Our Eyes, Don't Worry - You're Not Going To Have It Long. You're Short-lived.

Women Are The Real Reason We Get Up Every Day. I'm Talking About Real Men. If There Were No Women, I Would Not Even Have To Bathe, Because Why Would I Care? These Are Guys I'm Hanging With. I Wake Up For A Woman Every Day Of My Life To Make It Happen For Her.

Don't Be Afraid To Lose Him, Because If A Man Truly Loves You, He's Not Going Anywhere

Procrastinatio N Will Delay Your Change!!! Today Is A Very Good Day To Change; Don't Let You Stop Yourself From Growing!

You Think That God Positioned You Here So You Can Just Have It All To Yourself? God Blesses You To Become A Blessing. That's The Deal.

You Can't Ask The Women To Do Anymore. It's Time For Us As Black Men To Step Up And Be What We're Supposed To Be.

A Real Man Is Happy And Eager To Live By Your Rules, As Long As He Knows What The Rules Are And He's Sure That Abiding By Those Rules Will Help Keep The Woman He Loves Happy

But Even In My Darkest Days I Had Faith It Would Turn Around.

Your Career Is What You're Paid For. Your Calling Is What You're Made For.

All You Have To Do Is Speak Up. Tell Him Straight Up: "i Need You Here To Protect And Provide For Us, To Give Us Security In Our Lives, To Help Raise These Children, To Set An Example For This Boy, Who Needs To See What Real Men Do, And For This Girl, Who Needs To Know What A Real Man Is So She Can Find One Of Her Own Someday. I Need You To Be The Head Of This Family." Lay It Out Like This, And Your Requirements Will Trump His Mother's Every Time.

I Don't Have Much Of An Attention Span For Tv - I Nod Off During The Basketball Playoffs - But When I Watch 'game Of Thrones' On On Demand, I'm Glued To The Set. It's Mystical And Addictive. Tyrion Lannister, That's My Man.

I Found That The Best Way To Go About [ Black Men ] Is To Produce Better Men. And I Think If We Get Them At A Younger Age, And Start Teaching These Young Brothers The Principles Of Manhood: That Real Men Go To Work Everyday; Real Men Honor God; Real Men Respect And Adore Women - That's What Real Men Do.

If You Don't Have A Base - You Can't Not Have A Spiritual Base And Survive. That's Probably What Has Kept Me Out Of The Tabloids. Then I Go Home, I've Got A Family, And I Keep My Wife In Front Of My Head.

I Don't Want To Be 60 Years Old Standing On Stage Telling Some Jokes. I Want My Life To Mean Something.

I'm Here To Tell You, Though, Ladies That The Term "gold Digger" Is One Of The Traps We Men Set To Keep You Off Our Money Trail; We Created That Term For You So That We Can Have All Our Money And Still Get Everything We Want From You Without You Asking For Or Expecting This Very Basic, Instincual Responsibility That Men All Over The World Are Obligated To Assume And Embrace. ... Know This: It Is Your Right To Expect That A Man Will Pay For Your Dinner, Your Movie Ticket, Your Club Entry Fee, Or Whatever Else He Has To Pay For In Exhange For Your Time.

I Just Believe If You Don't Believe In God, Then Where Is Your Moral Barometer? That's Just Me Talking. You Can Believe What You Want To Believe.

I Tell Jokes For A Check; I'm On Tv For A Check.

Man Didn't Put Me In This Place [in Entertaining Industry]. I'm In This Position Because Of God. And So, If Man Didn't Put Me In This Place, I Really Don't See No Man That Can Take Me Out Of Here.

Sometimes We Don't Appreciate Prayer Until We Have To Go Through Something!

Let Him Treat You Like A Lady And Open The Car Door For You. If He Doesn't Automatically Open The Door For You, Stand By The Darn Thing And Don't Get Into The Vehicle Until He Realises He Needs To Get Hid Behind Out Of The Driver's Seat And Come Round And Open The Car Door For You. That's His Job!

When People Think You Are Speaking Against Them As A Group, They Try To Shut It Down Out Here.

God Lets You Be Successful Because He Trusts You That You Will Do The Right Thing With It. Now, Does He Get Disappointed Often? All The Time, Because People Get There And They Forget How They Got It.

Boys Shack, Men Build Homes

At One Point In Time, You've Just Got To Be A Brave Soldier, And Speak Up. What Are You Scared Of, You Know? So Many Of Our Entertainers Have That Fear Because We're Afraid Of Opposition.

Now, Revealing That You're A Keeper Is No Guarantee That This Guy Won't Just Walk Away. Some Men Really Are Just Sport Fishing And Have No Intention Of Doing Anything More Than Throwing Back The Women They Bed. If This Is The Cae With This Man, Then Let Him Walk-what Do You Care? He's Not The Guy You're Looking For.

Guarantees That

I'm Not A Movie Star And I Know That.

The Truth Is I've Always Been A Christian. What's Amazing, Is That The Flaws That Come With Christianity Are Really Weird, Because Mine Have A Microphone And A Camera Attached To Them. Most People Don't Have To Live Under That Microscope.

You Can Tell Me Anything You Want To About Investment, But You Can't Move No Money Of Mine, So I Know Where All Of Mine Is. Now, If We Ain't Got A Lot, It's Our Fault.

We Men Are Very Simple People: If We Like What We See, We’re Coming Over There. If We Don’t Want Anything From You, We’re Not Coming Over There. Period. Please Highlight This Part Right Here So You Can Always Remind Yourself The Next Time A Man Steps To You: A Man Always Wants Something. Always. And When It Comes To Women, That Plan Is Always To Find Out Two Things: (1) If You’re Willing To Sleep With Him, And (2) If You Are, How Much It Will Cost To Get You To Sleep With Him.

The [steve Harvey] Foundation Started Originally About The Educational Needs Of Children. But, As I Got Into It More And More, One Of My Main Objectives Became Mentoring Programs For Young African American Men Because That's Our Problem In Our Community - It's The African American Men.

To Be No. 1 On The 'new York Times' Best-seller List, Well, That's Alarming. Having Been A Stand-up Comedian, I Think It's Surprising To A Lot Of People That I Had The Insight I Had.

My Mother Raised Me In The Church. I Was Not Allowed To Stay Home On Sunday; There Was No Option. I Sang In The Choir All The Way Up Until I Went To College.

My Mother Was A Sunday School Teacher. So I Am A Byproduct Of Prayer. My Mom Just Kept On Praying For Her Son.

I Talked To Minister [louis] Farrakhan Many Times About This Subject - There Is Our Reality That We Have To Deal With On An Ongoing Basis Because We Have To Exist In Order For Certain Things To Get Done.

I'm Still Very Much A Christian And Have A Great Relationship With God. I Love Him, But One Of My Flaws Is That I Cuss.

I’m Not Really A Relationship Expert But ... I’m An Expert On Manhood And What Men Think.

The Problem In Our Community Is Not The Women - I Mean, They've Done All They Can Do.

Too Many Women Have Given Up The Power Over The Years Because Men Have Created The Terms.

I Don't Want People To See Me Fall. I Mean, I Got Enough People Cheering For Me To Fall Now... The Internet Has Created Some Amazing Place For Evil To Exist, You Dig?

I Was Homeless. I Lived In A Car For A Couple Of Years. That Was The Worst. But Nothing Was Worse Than When I Was 40 And My Mom Passed Away. My Mother Was The Best Person I Ever Knew. Those Were The Two Lowest Points.

I Tell My Boys Not To Play Rough With Their Younger Sister. I Try To Teach Them What I Know Already: You're Never Going To Win An Argument With A Girl, So Just Let Her Have What She Wants!

You Have To Pick Your Places To "step Up" And You Have You Pick Your Spots. If You're Just Going To Run Out There, And, Just Be What/who You Want To Be, Then You Won't Be That Long.

I'm A Comedian First. I've Learned How To Act. I Just Draw On Life Experiences And That's How I've Learned. I Didn't Take Classes Or Anything. I Don't Need No Classroom.

You Have Nothing If You're Texting A Guy In A Relationship. We Can Text Six Women A Minute. We Can Text It And Push 'reply All.' I Mean, Since We're Lying, We Might As Well Lie To Everybody.

It's Really Unimaginable That I Could Start Where I Was And Get Here Today.

I Don't See The Women As A Problem. The Women Are Doing All They Can Do. They're Heading Up Households; They're Single Parents; They're Breadwinners; They're The 'mamas,' They're The 'daddies,' They're The 'uncles.' They Take The Kids To School; They Take Them To Doctors, You Know? They Take Them To Games. I See It All The Time.

The Mentoring Program [of The Steve Harvey Foundation] Is To Teach Young Boys The Principles Of Manhood.

I'd Have To Say I'm Most Proud Of My Mentoring Camp That I Do In Dallas Every Year For One Hundred Boys From Single-parent Homes. I Was Raised By A Mother Who Was A Sunday School Teacher And A Father Who Worked Hard. Together They Taught Me To Give Back.

God Has Positioned Me Just This Way To Be Just Like I Am, To Say What I Say How I Say It.

What You Want Most Out Of Life Is The Thing You Have To Give The Most Of

I Don't Let Nobody Sign For My Money. Me And My Wife Write Our Own Checks. So, If There's Some Money Missing, We Know How It Got Missing.

I've Always Been This Way. My Father Taught This To Me. Here's The Thing, You Have To Understand; The Thing About Having Money: Money And Fame Don't Change You, All It Does Is Allow You To Be More Of Who You Are Anyway.

The Quote That I Liked Is"the Moment Of The Baby Boy Is Born Is Taught To Be Tough" I Really Liked This Quote From The Book That Am Reading Because I Think Its The Same In Uae,we Teach Our Baby Boy To Be Strong And To Get Up Without Crying And To Depend On Him Self.

I'm Not A Good Mother At All.

I'm A Old Hoodlum, So I Will Jump On You If I Have To.

Men Respect Standards- Get Some!

If You Want To Be Successful, You Have To Jump, There's No Way Around It. When You Jump, I Can Assure You That Your Parachute Will Not Open Right Away. But If You Do Not Jump, Your Parachute Will Never Open. If You're Safe, You'll Never Soar!

God Has Given Me A Life Far Beyond Anything I Ever Dreamed About. God Is, Man, God Is Something Else Man.

Men Respect Women Who Have Standards - Get Some!

Our Only Teachers And Role Models For Our Young Men Cannot Be, You Know, Videos, And, The Hip Hop Community.

Ask Any Guy If Sex Is Important In A Relationship And The One Who Says No Is Lying. I Just Haven't Met That Guy Yet. When You Meet Him, Let's Get Him In To The Smithsonian - He's That Special And Rare.

My Father Instilled In Me To Take Care Of My Family. Show Up Even When You Don't Want To Show Up.

If You Think "sagging," And, How Many Women You've Got, And How Big A Chain You've Got, And How Much Dope You're Slangin', And How Much Money You've Got In Your Pocket Makes You A "man," Then You're Sadly Mistaken. You're Going To Be A Misguided Soul Your Entire Life.

Failure Is A Great Teacher, And I Think When You Make Mistakes And You Recover From Them And You Treat Them As Valuable Learning Experiences, Then You've Got Something To Share.

I Have Seen Some Crazy People Do Some Crazy Things On My Variety Show. I Have To Stop And Ask Them A Lot Of The Time, Just How They Figured Out That They Could Do The Things That They Do, Some Of It Is Just Plain Freaky.

The First Time I Saw My Wife, Marjorie, I Was Doing Stand-up In Memphis, And She Was Sitting In The Front Row. Afterward, I Walked Up And Said, "ma'am, I'm Going To Marry You One Day". And 15 Years Later, I Did.

Men And Women Really Do Want The Same Things. We Just Need Each Other To Bring It Out. That's Really The Truth Of The Matter.

There Has Been Nothing More Impactful On My Life And Meaningful To Me Than The Introduction Of Christ. That, Hands Down, Blows Away Every Joke I've Ever Written.

There Many Guys Out There Who Are Actually Fishing For A Woman Whom They Are Planning On Keeping. But There Are Guys Out There Who Are Just Sports Fishing - Catching Them And Then Throwing Them Back Into The Ocean.

If He Hasn't Lined Up The Who He Is, The What He Does, And The How Much He Makes In The Way That He Sees Fit, He Can't Possibly Be To You What He Wants To Be.

Providing For The Ones He Loves And Care About, Whether It's Monetarily Or With Sweat Equity, Is Part Of A Man's Dna, And If He Loves And Cares For You, This Man Will Provide For You All These Things With No Limits.

Other Than My Foundation - Mentoring Programs - Everything I Do Is For Money.

I Can't Cuss And Tell Jokes The Rest Of My Life. I Gotta Say Something Meaningful. I Gotta Give Something Back To A Creator Who Has Given So Much To Me.

People See Me Laughing And Telling Jokes, But They Had No Idea After The Show Was Over, I Had No Joy In My Life, In My Heart.

I Ain't No Author, Man . . . My Writing Skills Are Not Of "new York Times" Best-seller Quality, Trust And Believe It Ain't. My Vocabulary Ain't.

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