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I've Always Been A 'your Parents Have Got To Come Up To The School' Type Of Person. Even Now, When I Do Something Wrong - If I Say Something Inappropriate On A Live Tv Show, For Example - I Half Expect To Have To Deliver A Note To Barbara Brand: 'please Come Up To Channel 4 Head Office, Russell's Done Something Despicable.

-Russell Brand

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I've Always Been A

Russell Brand

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I've Always Been A 'your Parents Have Got To Come Up To The School' Type Of Person. Even Now, When I Do Something Wrong - If I Say Something Inappropriate On A Live Tv Show, For Example - I Half Expect To Have To Deliver A Note To Barbara Brand: 'please Come Up To Channel 4 Head Office, Russell's Done Something Despicable.

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Thus Another Friendship Was Dashed On The Cruel Rocks Amid The Storm Of My Self-destruction.

How We Treat The Vulnerable Is How We Define Ourselves As A Species.

Imagining The Overthrow Of The Current Political System Is The Only Way I Can Be Enthused About Politics.

God Is In The Mountains. Impassive, Immovable, Jagged Giants, Separating The Celestial From The Terrestrial With Eternal Diagonal Certainty. As If Silently Monitoring The Beating Heart Of The Creator From The Universe's Perfect Birth. Stood In The Thin Air And The Awe, One Inhales God, Involuntarily Acknowledging That We Are But Fragments Of A Whole, A Higher Thing. The Mountains Remind Me Of My Place, As A Servant To Truth And Wonder. Yes, God Is In The Mountains. Perhaps The Pulpit Too And Even In The Piety Of An Atheist's Sigh. I Don't Know; But I Feel Him In The Mountains.

People Who Say The System Works Work For The System.

I Want To Change The World, And Do Something Valuable And Beautiful. I Want People To Remember Me Before I'm Dead, And Then More Afterwards.

It Seems To Me That Actual Democracy Is Where All Of Us Get To Participate And It's Not Just A Sort Of A Blunt Little Dry Hump In A Ballot Box, But An Actual Penetrative Process.

This Is No Time For Drinking A Mug Of Water - Which You Would Do Nowhere Else In The World. A Mug Of Water! You Just Don't Drink Water From Mugs, Do Ya? Except On The Telly. Water Out Of A Mug! Should Be A Hot Drink... Mug Of Water.

If People Associate You With The Idea Of Loads Of Money, They In Turn Will Give Some Of That Money To You.

What I Liked About It Is In The World Of Children, There Are Very, Very Different Rules And A Kind Of Naivete And Innocence And Sweetness That's Been Beautifully Captured, I Think, By This Film As You Can Even See Gesturing Toward The Film's Poster On Display Nearby From This Gorgeous Artwork.

It Doesn't Take An Incredible Manner Of Analysis To Reveal That Our Primary Desires Are Incessantly Stimulated To Keep Us Basic Consumers.

We Continue To Be Spilled On By Consumerism Even Though We Know It Doesn't Make Us Happy.

Everyone Has Their Own Mantra.

It Is 10 Years Since I Used Drugs Or Drank Alcohol And My Life Has Improved Immeasurably. I Have A Job, A House, A Cat, Good Friendships And Generally A Bright Outlook.

I Don't Know If This Is The Kind Of Retrospective Analysis That People Are Fond Of Applying To Their Work Or Actions, But It Feels Like I Knew I Was Going To Be Famous And I Knew That An Element Of That Would Be Traumatic, So That If I Could Make Myself Something Big And Otherworldly, It Would Be A Kind Of Defence.

Drugs And Alcohol Are Not My Problem, Reality Is My Problem, Drugs And Alcohol Are My Solution.

If People Have Some Sort Of Yearning, Dissatisfaction Or Some Itching Irritability, Then It Might Because They Aren't Looking In The Right Direction For A Solution. They Aren't Looking Within.

You Must Not Feel Persecuted And Examined. Liberate Yourself From The Idea That People Are Watching You.

If You Strip Away Self-effacement, Charm And The Spirit Of Mischief-qualities That Make Determination And Ambition Tolerable- You're Left With A Right Ar**hole.

Imagine The Wisdom To Be Passed Down From The Classical Buddhist Texts.

When It Comes To Your Career, You Must Always Try And Allow The Positive Aspects Of Your Character To Dictate What Happens To You. Be Led By Your Talent, Not By Your Self-loathing; Those Other Things You Just Have To Manage.

Addiction Is A Serious Desease; It Will End With Jail, Mental Institutions Or Death.

I Didn't Take A Job On Fox News Because I'm Interested In Progress. I'm Interested In Shouting And Pointing And Simplifying Things!

I Think, You're Not Blagging Me On This Ridiculous Journey, With This Bit Of Paper. I Think If You Want To Change Things, It's Not With An X On A Piece Of Paper, It's With An X On Someone's Forehead.

What Was Alien Was Being Ordinary, Being Humdrum, Being Trapped Into Appeasing...having To Crush And Stifle My Opinions, Not Being Allowed To Be Brilliant, Tricking Myself Into Mediocrity.

And While We're On The Subject Of Ducks, Which We Plainly Are, The Story, 'the Ugly Duckling' Ought Be Banned As The Central Character Wasn't A Duckling Or He Wouldn't Have Grown Up Into A Swan. He Was A Cygnet.

I Also Quite Like To Be Recognized By Children; I Find It Sweet.

On Respect For The Queen: When I Lick A Stamp I Always Do It With My Eyes Closed.

I've Come Off Heroin Twice, And The Worst Part Is Laying In Bed Kicking And Not Being Able To Keep Still. The Physical Withdrawal Doesn't Last That Long, But Then It's Just All Psychological. I Think It's Worse Than Cigarettes.

You're A Musician, It Is Important That You Suffer!

My Mum Brought Me Up On Her Own. All We Really Had Was Each Other.

If You're A Drug Addict, Often You're Stealing - I've Gotten Done For Shoplifting A Few Times.

Surfing Should Be Called "foam-choking" Or "sea Stabbing.

I Do Have A Regard For The Musicality Of Language That Came From Bbc Sitcoms Like 'fawlty Towers.'

Nigel Farage And Sean Hannity Is Like A Super Group Of Idiots.

I Enjoyed Having A Reputation As Being Wild, But These Days I Try Not To Worry About What People Think In The Privacy Of Their Own Brain Or What They Write In The Bizarre Publicity Of Their Own Newspapers, Because All Of Those Things Are Meaningless.

Meaningless Things

Revolt In Whatever Way We Want, With The Spontaneity Of The London Rioters, With The Certainty And Willingness To Die Of Religious Fundamentalists Or With The Twinkling Mischief Of The Trickster... Take To The Streets, Together, With The Understanding That The Feeling That You Aren't Being Heard Or Seen Or Represented Isn't Psychosis; It's Government Policy.

A Halloween-haired, Sachsgate-enacting, Estuary-whining, Glitter-lacquered, Priapic Berk How Dare I, From My Velvet Chaise Longue, In My Hollywood Home Like Kubla Khan, Drag My Limbs From My Harem To Moan About The System? A System That Has Posited Me On A Lilo Made Of Thighs In An Ocean Filled With Honey And Foie Gras'd My Essex Arse With Undue Praise And Money.

The Greatest Poverty One Can Have Is To Be Poor In One's Heart And For Falling In Love, He Is Truly Happy. He Discovers Purpose.

Falling In Love

No-one Really Feels Self-confident Deep Down Because It's An Artificial Idea. Really, People Aren't That Worried About What You're Doing Or What You're Saying, So You Can Drift Around The World Relatively Anonymously: You Must Not Feel Persecuted And Examined. Liberate Yourself From That Idea That People Are Watching You.

No One Shuts Their Laptop After Looking At Pornography And Says, 'what A Productive Time I Just Spent Connecting With The World!'

I'm Into Yoga, I Meditate All The Time, I'm Vegetarian.

When You Fall In Love You Recognise You're Not The Most Important Person In The World, And Your Focus Becomes Another Person.

Falling In Love

You Can’t Absolutely Make Everything The Way You Want It To Be In Life. Sometimes Thing Are Just Different And Then You To Just Move With That And Try And Remain In Contact With What Is Beautiful About Yourself And Each Other With Any Situation.

The Need To Find Out What Will Happen If I Don't Relent Or Moderate My Actions Has Been A Constant Source Of Difficulty And Discomfort In My Life.

Where Those Two Energies [male And Female Energies] Intersect, All Creativity Is Possible. We Already Have Divine Creative Energy Within Us. And What Is The Most Powerful Of These Energies? The Energy That Patriarchy And Misogyny Constantly Try To Repress. The Divine Female Sexual Energy. The Creative Energy Of The Female. That Is Why I Worship Divine Sexual Female Energy.

It Is Difficult To Feel Sympathy For These People. It Is Difficult To Regard Some Bawdy Drunk And See Them As Sick And Powerless. It Is Difficult To Suffer The Selfishness Of A Drug Addict Who Will Lie To You And Steal From You And Forgive Them And Offer Them Help. Can There Be Any Other Disease That Renders Its Victims So Unappealing?

Socialism Isn't A Dirty Word; It Just Means Sharing. Really, It's Just The Bureaucratic Arm Of Christianity.

The Revolution That's Required Isn't A Revolution Of Radical Ideas, But The Implementation Of Ideas We Already Have.

Say I Feel All Sad And Self-indulgent, Then Get Stung By A Wasp, My Misery Feels Quite Abstract And I Long Just To Be In Spiritual Pain Once More - 'damn You Tiny Assassin, Clad In Yellow And Black, How I Crave My Former Innocence Where Melancholy Was My Only Trial'.

I Couldn't Possibly Have Sex With Someone With Such A Slender Grasp On Grammar!

I Don't Get My Authority From This Preexisting Paradigm Which Is Quite Narrow And Only Serves A Few People. I Look Elsewhere For Alternatives That Might Be Of Service To Humanity.

I Recognize That I Have The Ability To Be Selfish, But I Also Recognize That You Can't Be Happy If You Only Care About Yourself At The Expense Of Other People.

What Should Happen Is A Little Voice In Your Head, Like Jimmy Cricket In Pinocchio, Will Go 'but Russell, That Bird, That's A Creature Like You, If You Kill It It'll Be All Sad' And You Go 'f***, Alright. I Won't Kill It Then.'

If Your Body Is 90% Water What Have You Got To Drink Water All The Time For? Why Can't You Just Have Some Crisps?

Our Social And Economic Systems Are So Devoid Of Humanity And Love.

As Long As We Prioritize Material Truths Over Spiritual Truths We Will Live In Tyranny Because We Are Living An Illusion

I've Always Been A 'your Parents Have Got To Come Up To The School' Type Of Person. Even Now, When I Do Something Wrong - If I Say Something Inappropriate On A Live Tv Show, For Example - I Half Expect To Have To Deliver A Note To Barbara Brand: 'please Come Up To Channel 4 Head Office, Russell's Done Something Despicable.

One Of The Great Sadnesses Of Modern Life, Because Of Our Disenfranchisement And Disillusionment With Religion, Is That We Don't Have Access To These Ideas. Yoga And Meditation, For Me, Is A Way Of, In This Secular World, Accessing Very Very Beautiful Principles That Would Perhaps Make Us Happier, At A Time When People Feel Disillusioned With The Economy, Concerned About The Ecology, Worried With Politicians, And Don't Trust What They're Being Told On Television.

The Best Thing You Can Do Is Fall In Love. My Life Has Been Changed By Falling In Love.

Falling In Love

Love Of My Life

I Missed Him, Of Course, But Sometimes Close Friendships Have A Tidal Beat That Pulls You Towards Different Shores Though The Ocean That Connects You Remains.

In England, We Have Such Good Manners That If Someone Says Something Impolite, The Police Will Get Involved.

Sometimes When We're Incensed By The Rancid Tide Of Injustice, The Impulse Is To Attack. We Must Avoid This. We Have Learned That Violence As A Means Is Always Unsuccessful.

Today's 'sesame Street' Will Not Be Brought To You By The Number 34 Or The Letter D.

Democracy Is A Gleaming Excalibur - Let's Not Use It Just To Mend The Toaster.

People Have Always Said, Are You Gay? I've Had A Lot Of That. But It's Just Not In Me. I Really Like Women A Lot; I'm Repulsed By Men Sexually.

There Was [really] Little Difference Between Someone Acting Throwing French Fries In Your Face And Someone Throwing French Fries In Your Face.

Question All Information When You Receive It. You Might Not Even Trust Me Look At Me, I've Got A Blanket Over Me Head.

I Suppose I'm Qualified To Some Degree To Speak About The Nature Of Contemporary Media, As That's Where I Currently Work. People, I Think Have Been Beyond Trained - Coded To Not Anticipate Change; To Think That Change Is Implausible. Almost Weaned Off. It Had To Be A Revolution Bred Out Of Us.

There's No Biological Reason Why A Man Shouldn't Just Try To Have Sex With Every Woman He Meets - All Of Them Get Pregnant And Your Genetics Are Winning.

I'm A Vegetarian. I Believe That We're All Equal. I Ain't Got No Right To Kill. Say A Fly Comes In My House, I Tolerate That Little A**hole.

If Anybody Needs Any Help With Anything, I'm Prepared To Help.

I've Always Had This Impulse To Be Destructive.

Im Happy To Be A Part Of The Conversation, If More Young People Are Talking About Fracking Instead Of Twerking Were Heading In The Right Direction. The People That Govern Us Dont Want An Active Population Who Are Politically Engaged, They Want Passive Consumers Distracted By The Spectacle Of Which I Accept I Am A Part.

I Think What's Actually Happened Is Print Media Is Becoming Obsolete, And This Is Like The Floundering Corpse Of A Dying Media. It Is Just Twitching.

The Priority Of Any Addict Is To Anaesthetise The Pain Of Living To Ease The Passage Of Day With Some Purchased Relief.

Marketing Is All Pervasive. They're Getting Marketed Products They Can't Afford - Can't Ever Hope To Acquire. They Believe The Only Way They're Ever Going To Achieve Happiness Is The Acquisition Of These Products. Products They Can't Afford. They See People Living That Lifestyle, And They Have That Lifestyle Beamed Incessantly Into Their Minds Through Media, Which You Know I Participate In.

You Shouldn't Eat Animals, It's Mean To Them.

It's No Wonder Bob Geldof Knows So Much About Famine - He's Been Dining Out On I Don't Like Mondays For 30 Years.

The One Measure Of True Love Is: You Can Insult The Other. --slavoj Zizek

The Right To Free Speech Is Important But It Isn't As Important As 'we're All Human Beings Together, Let's Find Solutions Together.'

I Also Do A Lot Of Kundalini Yoga.

What Was So Painful About Amy’s Death Is That I Know That There Is Something I Could Have Done. I Could Have Passed On To Her The Solution That Was Freely Given To Me. Don’t Pick Up A Drink Or Drug, One Day At A Time. It Sounds So Simple; It Actually Is Simple But It Isn’t Easy; It Requires Incredible Support And Fastidious Structuring.

I Think Many Of The Boundaries That Convention Has Placed Upon Us Are Arbitrary, So We Can Fiddle With Them If We Fancy. Gravity's Hard To Dispute, And Breathing, But A Lot Of Things We Instinctively Obey Are A Lot Of Old Tosh.

For Me Happiness Occurs Arbitrarily: A Moment Of Eye Contact On A Bus, Where All At Once You Fall In Love; Or A Frozen Second In A Park Where It's Enough That There Are Trees In The World.

Falling In Love

Murderers! Stop Murdering. Everyone Will Die Eventually. Just Sit Down And Be Patient.

Consciousness Exists Beyond Your Head, Between Our Heads, And It Can Manifest Harmony.

Right, We've Got These Institutions Of Media, These Financial Institutions, We Have The Means Of Distribution, We Have The Means Of Production, We Have All These Markets And Maxims In Place. How Do We Alter The Consciousness, The Fundamental Unifying Field? How Do We Influence Change On That Level To All Of The World?

A Buddy Of Mine Was Addicted To Heroin And He Told Me That People Who Say Quitting Cigarettes Is Harder Than Quitting Heroin Are Wrong.

I'm A Recovering Drug Addict, So It's Not A Subject That I Take Lightly, But I Do Agree That The Criminalization Of Narcotics Is The Deliberate Inhibition Of Human Consciousness.

Life Is Not A Theme Park, And If It Is, The Theme Is Death.

The More People Who Have Access To This Vital Information The Better Society Will Be.

From Quite Early On, I Had This Idea Of Compartmentalized Identities - 'this Is How You Are When You Are With Your Mum, And This Is How You Are When You Are With Your Dad' - So It Seemed Like I Could Never Absolutely Be Myself. And The Image Of Myself As Compromised And Inconsistent Made Me Want To Withdraw From The World Even Further. I Had A Sense Of Formulating A Paper-mache Version Of Myself To Send Out In The World, While I Sat Controlling It Remotely From Some Smug Suburban Barracks.

I Know That's The Sort Of Thing People Say And I Really Hate It When People Say The Sort Of Things People Say. I Always Think, 'you Don't Mean That, You Just Think It Sounds Good.

Be Led By Your Talent, Not By Your Self-loathing; Those Other Things You Just Have To Manage.

The Only Systems We Can Afford To Employ Are Those That Rationally Serve The Planet First, Then All Humanity. Not Out Of Some Woolly, Bullshit Tree-hugging Piffle But Because We Live On It, Currently Without Alternatives.

Even As A Junkie I Stayed True [to Vegetarianism] - 'i Shall Have Heroin, But I Shan't Have A Hamburger.' What A Sexy Little Paradox.

The Only Revolution That Can Really Change The World Is The One In Your Own Consciousness, And Mine Has Already Begun.

My Life Is Just A Series Of Embarrassing Incidents Strung Together By Telling People About Those Embarrassing Incidents.

As A Person I'm A Little More Doubtful, Introspective And Analytical.

And I Don't Think We Should Be Continuing To Propagate The Idea That Famous People Are Magical Or Special Because It Makes People Feel Like Their Lives Ain't No Good.

I Really, Really Love Children And I Think Probably Among Children Is When I Feel Mostly Berated. It's Not Like I Feel Like Oh, There's Some Children Here. I Have To Tone It Down. I Go Nuts With Children Especially When I Ain't Got None. So When I'm Round My Mates' Children, I Jest Them Kids Up First. I Swear At Them, I Get More Worked Up, I Say Crazy Stuff To Them, Fill Their Heads With Nonsense And Then I Leave Them.

I Don't See Why Someone Should Lose Their Life Just So You Can Have A Snack.

Over The Road There Was A Church: A Modern Gray Building, Which Constantly Played A Recording Of Church Bells. Strange It Was. Why No Proper Bells? I Never Went In But I Bet It Was A Robot Church For Androids, Where The Bible Was In Binary And Their Jesus Had Laser Eyes And Metal Claws.

If You've Got Any Concern At All About Animal Welfare, You've Got To Not Eat Meat.

Fear Travels Fast. Love Travels A Little More Slowly. Rationale Takes A Little More Consideration.

I'm Buying Things For People I Don't Even Know. I'm Like Willy Wonka, But More Manipulative. Imagine If Willy Wonka Had A Devious Goal.

I Liked Bugs Bunny. He Was Pretty Good. He's Annoying As A Duck And He's Anti-proletarian. Daffy Duck I Couldn't See What Was Going On With Him. He Seemed Like He Was Angry About Something. My Favorite One Though Is Pinocchio. I Liked That Kid. He Was Made Of Wood. I Liked That For A Start. I Also Liked How He'd Tell A Lie And His Nose Would Grow. I Liked The Morality Of That.

If You're A Drug Addict, Then You've Always Got Drugs, So You're A Criminal. So You're Gonna Get Into Problems.

I Keep Hearing In My Head "you Are The Messiah, You Are The Messiah." I Think There's Something Wrong With My Headphones.

It's Difficult To Believe In Yourself Because The Idea Of Self Is An Artificial Construction. You Are, In Fact, Part Of The Glorious Oneness Of The Universe. Everything Beautiful In The World Is Within You.

If Love Is Something You Cherish, It Is Hard To Glean Much Joy From Death, Even In One's Enemies.

Some People Were Just Getting On With Their Lives, Chatting, Being Young. It Simply Wouldn't Do.

The Utilities And Facilities Of Major Corporations Can Be Confiscated And Given To Democratic Collectives

Perhaps If We Could Popularise Through The Techniques Of Branding And Consumerism, A Different Idea, A Different Narrative, Perhaps The World Can Change. After All It Changes Constantly And Incessantly, It's Just The Perceptions That We Have Are Governed By People With Self-interest And Are Not Inalignment With The Health And Safety Of Us As Individuals Or As A Planet.

Managing Wildlife? It's Wild! It Don't Need Managing, Leave It Alone.

As A Producer, You've Got To Be Involved In Helping Out With Solving Problems.

I Am Too Busy Thinking About Killing Myself.

Eventually, I Think You Find A Spiritual And Emotional Connection With Someone, And I Think It Unifies You With Everyone Else. I Think If You Love One Person, It Makes You Love Everyone.

Strength Does Not Have To Be Belligerent And Loud.

When I Was Poor And I Complained About Inequality They Said I Was Bitter. Now I'm Rich And I Complain About Inequality They Say I'm A Hypocrite. I'm Starting To Think They Just Don't Want To Talk About Inequality.

By Puberty I Learned That Nothing Worth Having Could Be Easily Attained And To Succeed One Must Be Single Minded.

I Think That There Is An Infinite Creative Force That Generates All Consciousness And All Matter And We Are All Connected And If You Align Yourself With This Infinite Creative Force Then You Can Be Positive And You Can Be Beautiful, I Don't Think Its A Person Or God, I Don't Believe In Any Particular Doctrine Or Dogma, Only That Humanity Is Connected.

I've Never Had A Sustained Period Of Medication For Mental Illness When I've Not Been On Other Drugs As Well. It's Just Not Something That I Particularly Feel I Need. I Know That I Have Dramatically Changing Moods, And I Know Sometimes I Feel Really Depressed, But I Think That's Just Life. I Don't Think Of It As, "ah, This Is Mental Illness," More As, "today, Life Makes Me Feel Very Sad." I Know I Also Get Unnaturally High Levels Of Energy And Quickness Of Thought, But I'm Able To Utilize That.

I've Been Wanting To Tell People My Theory About What Goes On After Time. It's Beyond Our Consciousness. We Get Glimpses Of It Between The Infrared And The Ultraviolet - The Narrow Narrow Corridor Of Light That We Are Able To Perceive.

I Don't Mind Having A Reputation As A Serious And Spiritual Person. I Think That Would Be A Nice Reputation To Have

When You're Married, It's One Person. That's One More Than A Monk. It's Not That Different.

A Personality For The Incredibly Beautiful Can Be A Pointless Cargo.

Amy Winehouse - Her Surname's Beginning To Sound Like A Description Of Her Liver.

Have You Considered That The Bible, Like All Religious Doctrine, May Be Allegorical And Symbolic, To Direct Us Toward One Holy Entity Of Love, As Opposed To A Simplistic Litiginous Text To Direct The Behavior Of Human Beings?

It Doesn't Matter How Many Pairs Of Shoes You Have, How Many Cars You Have, Etc.... It's All Utterly Meaningless And Yet We Continue To Pursue This. Why? Because They've Learned They Can Stimulate Our Primal Desires Through Selling Us Products.

Since Steve Jobs Died I Cannot Bear To See Anyone Use An Iphone Irreverently, What I Did Was A Tribute To His Memory.

The World Isn't Made Of Atoms, It's Made Of Stories.

When I Was Growing Up, I Thought I'd Be A Lot Happier If I Was Famous And Successful And If I Had Money.

Anyone Who's Been Poor And Gets Rich Is Stalked By Guilt And Fear. Guilt Because You Know It Isn't Fair, That Life Hasn't Changed For Everyone

Life’s Never A Postcard Of Life, Is It? It Never Feels Like How You’d Want It To Look.

People Don't Throw Your Bags Out Of Windows Because Of Lies; They Throw Them Out Because Of The Truth.

I Really Love To Be With People. It's Nice, That. To Have Achieved Sudden Intimacy With Strangers Is Perhaps The Most Human Thing You Can Do. We All Love Our Friends And Families, As Much As We Hate Them. When You Can Achieve Intimacy With Strangers, It's Very Exciting And Heartening.

It's Highly Psychological, And Very Beautiful, And Overwhelming, And Real, And Trippy!

What It Felt To Me Was Like The Dissolution Of My Idea Of Myself. I Felt Like Separateness Evaporated. I Felt This Tremendous Sense Of Oneness. I'm Quite An Erratic Thinker, Quite An Adrenalized Person, But Through Meditation, I Found This Beautiful Serenity And Selfless Connection. My Tendency Towards Selfishness, I Felt That Kind Of Exposed As A Superficial And Pointless Perspective To Have. I Felt Very Relaxed, A Sense Of Oneness. I Felt Love.

To This Day, I Feel A Fierce Warmth For Women That Have The Same Disregard For The Social Conventions Of Sexual Protocol As I Do. I Love It When I Meet A Woman And Her Sexuality Is Dancing Across Her Face, So It's Apparent That All We Need To Do Is Nod And Find A Cupboard.

Sometimes, As A Comedian, A Line Will Come To You, That Is So Beautiful, So Perfect, That You Think: I Did Not Create This Line. This Line Belongs To All Of Us. Surely This Is A Line Of God

The Thing For Me Is, What If One Returns To These Maxims, These Rather Simplistic Maxims "be The Change You Want To See In The World." Because What Canvas Have We But The Self For These Kind Of Explorations, Ultimately.

Honesty Has Always Been An Integral Part Of My Operation, Really.

People Don't Realize That The Future Is Just Now, But Later.

Animals, Children, And The Working Class Comprise The Company In Which I'll Feel Most At Ease.

I'll Not Be Changing, But America Will.

I Think All Of Us Are Living In Denial Of Our Spiritual Nature As We Continue To Participate In The Material World Even Though We Know We're Destroying The Planet We Live On.

I Regret That I Didn’t Realize That Actually They’ve Got No Power Over You At School — It’s All Just A Trick To Indoctrinate You Into Being A Conditioned, Tame, Placid Citizen. Rebel, Children, I Urge You, Fight The Turgid Slick Of Conformity With Which They Seek To Smother Your Glory.

Normally, I'm Good At First Dates, 'cause That's The Only Date I Ever Have, So I Know How To Control It And Be Confident.

See All These Buildings, Russell? All These Buildings Were Once A Drawing On A Piece Of Paper, And Before That They Were An Idea In Someone’s Head. Any Idea That You Have, You Can Make Manifest.

... And Drinking Neat Liquor From The Bottle, With All My Long Hair And My Shirt Undone And My Beads, Not So Much The Lizard King, More A Gecko Duchess, I Fitted In Nicely With Their Idea Of What A Creative Person Should Be.

Every Moment Is A Fresh New Beginning... A Wonderful Inauguration Of The Great Cosmic Journey Through The Universe. We Can Do Whatever We Want. We Can Change Reality At Any Moment.

The Way I've Been With Drink And Drugs Suggests I Have A Tendency To Get Addicted To Things.

Tumbling Into A Dark, Lewis Carroll Labyrinth Of Filth, Pursuing A White Rabbit Of Smut!

Executive Producers Don't Have To Do Anything. Nor Do Any Kind Of Producers. They Just Sit Around On Deck Chairs Watching Stuff, And If It Gets Cold, They Leave. Actually I Suppose As A Producer You've Got To Be Involved In Helping Out With Solving Problems.

My Mate Karl Once Told Me He’d Been Looking After This Five-year-old Boy Who – Not Knowing Enough To Have An Ironic Inflection To His Words – Said, ‘i Want Something.’ He Didn’t Know What It Was. Not ‘i Want Sweets’, Or ‘a Can Of Coke’, Or ‘to Watch The Tweenies’, Or Whatever It Is They’re Into Now (i Like Bagpuss), But ‘i Want Something.’ All Of Us, I Think, Have That Feeling. And What Heroin Does When You First Start Taking It Is Tell You What That Something Is.

Turns Out It Was Mostly A Lie. But, At Least For A Short While, It Was A Beautiful One.

Total Revolution Of Consciousness And Our Entire Social, Political And Economic System Is What Interests Me, But That's Not On The Ballot.

The Bad-boy Label Is Just An Assumption.

All Penguins Are The Same Below The Surface, Which I Think Is As Perfect An Analogy As We're Likely To Get For The Futility Of Racism.

What I Might Do Is Watch Mrs Doubtfire. Or Dead Poets Society Or Good Will Hunting And I Might Be Nice To People, Mindful Today How Fragile We All Are, How Delicate We Are, Even When Fizzing With Divine Madness That Seems Like It Will Never Expire.

Dead Poets Society

I Have Never Voted. Like Most People I Am Utterly Disenchanted By Politics. Like Most People I Regard Politicians As Frauds And Liars And The Current Political System As Nothing More Than A Bureaucratic Means For Furthering The Augmentation And Advantages Of Economic Elites.

Of All The Consumer Products, Chewing Gum Is Perhaps The Most Ridiculous: It Literally Has No Nourishment – You Just Chew It To Give Yourself Something To Do With Your Stupid Idiot Western Mouth. Half The World Is Starving, And The Other’s Going, ‘i Don’t Actually Need Any Nutrition, But It Would Be Good To Masticate, Just To Keep My Mind Off Things.

Our Basic Fundamental Desires Are Overly Stimulated. A Friend Of Mine Said, "you Have A Generation Of People That Have Been Accidentally Marketed To."

Even In Name, He Seems Like A Victorian Oddity. "igor, Fetch 'the Crouch' From The Catacombs, We're Going To The Graveyard".

We Don't Need To Know What Goes On Beyond Time. We Need To Know How To Save This Planet That We Live On. To Align Our Consciousness With The Fundamental Frequencies With Which All Have In Common, And To Generate Love And Energy Between Us.

There's An Interconnectivity Between What's In The Consciousness Of Cat And What's In The Consciousness Of Us.

I'm Famous Now. But Now That I've Got Fame And Some Of The Other Things I Thought Would Make Me Happy - It Ain't Worked

The Economy Is Just A Metaphorical Device, It’s Not Real. That's Why It's Got The Word Con In It.

I Do Transcendental Meditation, Which Is, I Suppose, Derived From Vedic Or Ayurvedic Principles, Which Is Sort Of Hindu Principles.

I Thought I Was Promiscuous, But It Turns Out I Was Just Thorough.

If You Have No Brothers And Sisters It Defines You For Life; Even When You're Thirty You Refer To Yourself As An Only Child.

When I First Became Famous In The United Kingdom It Was Helpful Because It Meant There Wasn't A Spite Of 'this Bloke's A Drug Addict,' 'this Bloke F**ks All These Women' Because I Was Just Making Jokes About All Those Things Already, So It Made Me Some Kind Of Incorruptible Indefatigable, Indestructible Force.

It Would Have Been Convenient To Be Gay. Just Because Of The Grooming, The Narcissism, Stuff Like That. But I Have This Kind Of Roaring Heterosexuality. Traditional, Uncomplicated Heterosexuality, An Almost Cliched Robin Askwith Thing.

Heterosexuality Is

I Struggle In These Situations Not To Let My Madness Govern Me, And To Let The Positive Aspects Of My Character Define My Life.

We All Need Something To Help Us Unwind At The End Of The Day. You Might Have A Glass Of Wine, Or A Joint, Or A Big Delicious Blob Of Heroin To Silence Your Silly Brainbox Of Its Witterings But There Has To Be Some Form Of Punctuation, Or Life Just Seems Utterly Relentless.

I Get Fixated When I'm Bleeding -- I Can See Why They Went In For Blood-letting In The Medieval Times Because It Makes You Feel A Bit Better. When I Cut Myself, The Drama Of It Calms Me Down.

When You Bump Into Your Own Mom At An Orgy, It's Hard Not To Get Her To Read Into Certain Things.

As A Performer, I'm Very, Very Confident In What I Do.

I Say Us - Obviously I Don't Vote As I Believe Democracy Is A Pointless Spectacle Where We Choose Between Two Indistinguishable Political Parties, Neither Of Whom Represent The People But The Interest Of Powerful Business Elites That Run The World.

I'm Quite A Neurotic Thinker, Quite An Adrenalized Person. But After Meditation, I Felt This Beautiful Serenity And Selfless Connection.

The Happiest Moments In Our Life Aren't "oh I Got A New Hat Or A Wonderful Silvery Object, Some Glistening Bauble." But It's When You Connect With Another Human Being. If You Can Find The $18 In Your Pocket, You Are Purchasing Dreams With That Money.

How Long Is It Polite To Continue To Be Interested In What Someone Says After They Reveal They've Got A Boyfriend?

I Used To Binge-eat And Make Myself Throw Up. I Was A Fat Kid. Obviously I Didn't Quite Master The Bulimia.

The Holy Spirit Ain't Got A Pen.

I Didn't Cross The Line, You Drew It In After I Traversed It.

I Like Threesomes With Two Women, Not Because I'm A Cynical Sexual Predator. Oh No! But Because I'm A Romantic. I'm Looking For "the One." And I'll Find Her More Quickly If I Audition Two At A Time.

Then, Of Course, Through The Umbilical Link We All Tumble Backwards Down The Spiralling Dna Staircase To One Common Ancestor In Africa, And Before That Some Bunch Of Curious Monkeys. Down And Down We Go Unto The Sea, Unto The Dust, The Single Cellular Dust. What Impulse Drove One Cell To Become Two? What Yearning Pulled The Fish On To The Land? What Caused Apes To Walk Upright? Some Invisible Magnetic Pull. Is There A Difference Between Attraction And Intention? Where Is Evolution Taking Us?

It Was Crushingly Disappointing As A Fan Of The Simpsons To Discover That It's Just You In A Room Speaking Into A Microphone. I Thought I Was Going To Become Friends With Homer Simpson, But Unfortunately None Of Them Are Real.

The Mentality And Behavior Of Drug Addicts And Alcoholics Is Wholly Irrational Until You Understand That They Are Completely Powerless Over Their Addiction And Unless They Have Structured Help They Have No Hope.

All We Can Do Is Adapt The Way We View This Condition, Not As A Crime Or A Romantic Affectation But As A Disease That Will Kill. We Need To Review The Way Society Treats Addicts, Not As Criminals But As Sick People In Need Of Care.

People Do This A Lot. They Don't Seem To Realise That The Future Is Just Like Now, But In A Little While, So They Say They're Going To Do Things In Anticipation Of Some Kind Of Seismic Shift In Their Worldview That Never Actually Materializes. But Everything's Not Going To Be Made Of Leather, The World Won't Stink Of Sherbet. Tomorrow Is Not Some Mythical Kingdom Where You'll Grow Butterfly Wings And Be Able To Talk To Animals -- You'll Basically Feel Pretty Much The Same Way You Do At The Moment.

Consciousness Does Affect Matter.

Love Is The One Thing We're Capable Of Perceiving That Transcends Time And Space.

I'm Not Better Than You; I'm Just Different Than You In A Way That's Better.

Better Than You

Don't Listen To Me. I'm A Maniac, But The Voice In Your Head, Ask It "is It Right To Kill 200 Million Animals Simply For Fun?". What Did It Say? Right. There You Go.

Rebel Children, I Urge You, Fight The Turgid Slick Of Conformity With Which They Seek To Smother Your Glory.

Apathy Is A Rational Reaction To A System That No Longer Represents, Hears Or Addresses The Vast Majority Of People.

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