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I'll Quit Eating Meat When You Get A Cow Out Here To Beat Me At A Poetry Slam. Only So Many Words Rhyme With 'mooo.' I Mean, Yes, We're Supposed To Be Better Stewards; Yes, We're Supposed To Take Care Of The Earth; Yes, We're Supposed To Honor The Sacrifices Made By The Animals; Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes, But Dammit, We're In Charge, And You Know Why? It's Because Of These [holding Out Thumbs]...maybe You Think That Carrots Are Less Important Than Cows. I Think They're Equal, Especially In A Sauce.

-Sherman Alexie

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I'll Quit Eating Meat

Sherman Alexie

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I'll Quit Eating Meat When You Get A Cow Out Here To Beat Me At A Poetry Slam. Only So Many Words Rhyme With 'mooo.' I Mean, Yes, We're Supposed To Be Better Stewards; Yes, We're Supposed To Take Care Of The Earth; Yes, We're Supposed To Honor The Sacrifices Made By The Animals; Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes, But Dammit, We're In Charge, And You Know Why? It's Because Of These [holding Out Thumbs]...maybe You Think That Carrots Are Less Important Than Cows. I Think They're Equal, Especially In A Sauce.

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And I Couldn't Make Fun Of Her For That Dream. It Was My Dream, Too. And Indian Boys Weren't Supposed To Dream Like That. And White Girls From Small Towns Weren't Supposed To Dream Big, Either. We Were Supposed To Be Happy With Our Limitations. But There Was No Way Penelope And I Were Going To Sit Still. Nope, We Both Wanted To Fly.

I Grew Up In A Storytelling Culture, A Tribal Culture, But Also In An American Storytelling Culture.

If You Let People Into Your Life A Little Bit, They Can Be Pretty Damn Amazing.

Nervous Means You Want To Play. Scared Means You Don't Want To Play.

Because I'm An American, I Know There's All Sorts Of International Folks Who Would Gladly Kidnap And Behead Me.

You Know, People Speak In Poetry All The Time. They Just Don't Realize It.

He Wanted The Songs, The Stories, To Save Everybody.

I Wanted To Do A Weird Book And Reestablish My Independent, Small-press Roots.

But Something Magical Happened To Me When I Went To Reardan. Overnight I Became A Good Player. I Suppose It Had Something To Do With Confidence. I Mean, I'd Always Been The Lowest Indian On The Reservation Totem Pole - I Wasn't Expected To Be Good So I Wasn't. But In Reardan, My Coach And The Other Players Wanted Me To Be Good. They Needed Me To Be Good. They Expected Me To Be Good. And So I Became Good. I Wanted To Live Up To The Expectations. I Guess That's What It Comes Down To. The Power Of Expectations. And As They Expected More Of Me, I Expected More Of Myself, And It Just Grew And Grew.

A Lot Of People Have No Idea That Right Now Y.a. (young Adult). Is The Garden Of Eden Of Literature.

Imagination Is The Politics Of Dreams; Imagination Turns Every Word Into A Bottle Rocket. . . . Imagine Every Day Is Independence Day And Save Us From Traveling The River Changed; Save Us From Hitchhiking The Long Road Home. Imagine An Escape. Imagine That Your Own Shadow On The Wall Is A Perfect Door. Imagine A Song Stronger Than Penicillin. Imagine A Spring With Water That Mends Broken Bones. Imagine A Drum Which Wraps Itself Around Your Heart. Imagine A Story That Puts Wood In The Fireplace.

If I Were A Doctor Nobody Would Be Inviting Me To Talk To Reservations. I'd Be A Different Person. Writers Can Influence More People.

That's One More Thing People Don't Know About Indians: We Love To Talk Dirty.

I Thought I’d Been Condescended To As An Indian - That Was Nothing Compared To The Condescension For Writing Y.a.

I'll Quit Eating Meat When You Get A Cow Out Here To Beat Me At A Poetry Slam. Only So Many Words Rhyme With 'mooo.' I Mean, Yes, We're Supposed To Be Better Stewards; Yes, We're Supposed To Take Care Of The Earth; Yes, We're Supposed To Honor The Sacrifices Made By The Animals; Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes, But Dammit, We're In Charge, And You Know Why? It's Because Of These [holding Out Thumbs]...maybe You Think That Carrots Are Less Important Than Cows. I Think They're Equal, Especially In A Sauce.

When You're Depressed, You Know, It's Like The World Has Ended. Even Getting Out Of Bed Takes The Most Massive Amount Of Effort. But When You're Manic, Oh, It's So Addicting. You Know, I Have Finished Novels In Two Weeks In Manic Stages.

I Grabbed My Book And Opened It Up. I Wanted To Smell It. Heck, I Wanted To Kiss It. Yes, Kiss It. That's Right, I Am A Book Kisser. Maybe That's Kind Of Perverted Or Maybe It's Just Romantic And Highly Intelligent.

My Father Is An Amazing Man.

In The Middle Of A Crazy And Drunk Life, You Have To Hang Onto The Good And Sober Moments Tightly.

Your Past Is A Skeleton Walking One Step Behind You, And Your Future Is A A Skeleton Walking One Step In Front Of You. Maybe You Don't Wear A Watch, But Your Skeletons Do, And They Always Know What Time It Is.

Listen You Have To Read A Book Three Times Before You Know It.

Environmentalism Is A Luxury. Just Like Being A Vegetarian Is A Luxury. When You Have To Worry About Eating - You're Not Going To Be Worried About Where The Food's Coming From, Or Who Made Your Shoes. Poverty, Whether Planned Or Not Planned, Is A Way Of Making Environmentalism Moot.

Drinking Would Shut Down My Seeing And My Hearing And My Feeling," She Used To Say. "why Would I Want To Be In The World If I Couldn't Touch The World With All Of My Senses Intact?

I'm Quite Aware Of My Differences. I Wouldn't Classify Them As Weird

I Didn't Know What To Say To Her. What Do You Say To People When They Ask How It Feels To Lose Everything? When Every Planet In Your Solar System Has Exploded?

Non-indian Writers Usually Say "great Spirit," "mother Earth," "two-legged, Four-legged, And Winged." Mixed-blood Writers Usually Say "creator, "mother Earth," "two-legged, Four- Legged, And Winged." Indian Writers Usually Say "god," "mother Earth," "human Being, Dog, And Bird."

My Wife Was The First Romantic Partner Who Understood Both American And Native Parts Of Me - Not So Much The Positive Stuff, But The Damage.

Poverty Doesn’t Give You Strength Or Teach You Lessons About Perseverance. No, Poverty Only Teaches You How To Be Poor.

She Told Me That Every Other Step Was Just For Me.' But That's Only Half Of The Dance,' I Said. Yeah,' My Father Said. 'she Was Keeping The Rest For Herself. Nobody Can Give Everything Away. It Ain't Healthy.

In Order To Know Somebody Through Their Words, I Mean, It Has To Be An, It Has To Be A Letter, You Know? It Has To Be A Long E-mail. It Has To Be A Five-page Hand-written Letter, You Know, It Has To Be Overwhelming And Messy And Sloppy As Humans Are.

He Loved Her, Of Course, But Better Than That, He Chose Her, Day After Day. Choice: That Was The Thing.

I Recognize Now That The Conditions That Indians Are Living In Are The Conditions That Poor People Everywhere Are Living In.

...and Nostalgia Is A Cancer. Nostalgia Will Fill Your Heart Up With Tumors. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, That's What You Are. You're Just An Old Fart Dying Of Terminal Nostalgia.

I Used To Sleep With My Books In Piles All Over My Bed And Sometimes They Were The Only Thing Keeping Me Warm And Always The Only Thing Keeping Me Alive. Books Are The Best And Worst Defense.

I Had The Feeling I Was Going To Be Successful, And I Didn't Want To Be Another Disappointing Indian.

There Have Been Players With Indian Heritage, But There Hasn't Been A Native-american Professional Basketball Player Who Became A Regular For All Sorts Of Social And Political Reasons.

Native American

I Felt So Conflicted About Having Fled The Rez As A Kid That I Created A Whole Literary Career That Left Me There.

Only In Rock Music And The Literary World You See So Many Ugly White Guys With Beautiful Women. That Says A Lot About The Women, Their Character. They're Attracted To More Than Surface.

It's Way Too Early For Him To Be Talking Anyhow But I See In His Eyes Something And I See In His Eyes A Voice And I See In His Eyes A Whole New Set Of Words

My Father Was Always Depressed. When He Was Home And Sober, He Was Mostly In His Room.

Reardan Is The Rich White Farm Town That Sits In The Wheat Fields Exactly 22 Miles Away From The Rez. And It's A Hick Town I Suppose Filled With Farmers And Rednecks And Racists Cops Who Stop Every Indian That Drives Through. During One Week When I Was Little Dad Got Stopped Three Times For Dwi- Driving While Indian.

Since Jesus Was Human Then He Most Assuredly Farted And Burped. And If God Did Create Us In God's Image Then God Must Fart And Burp As Well.

Nostalgia Is Always Doomed And Dooming.

Sixty Percent Of All Indians Live In Urban Areas, But Nobody's Writing About Them. They're Really An Underrepresented Population, And The Ironic Thing Is Very, Very Few Of Those We Call Native American Writers Actually Grew Up On Reservations, And Yet Most Of Their Work Is About Reservations.

Native American

The Streetlight Outside My House Shines On Tonight And I'm Watching It Like It Could Give Me A Vision. James Ain't Talked Ever And He Looks At That Streetlight Like It Was A Word And Maybe Like It Was A Verb. James Wanted To Streetlight Me And Make Me Bright And Beautiful So All The Moths And Bats Would Circle Me Like I Was The Center Of The World An Held Secrets.

The Percentage Of Indian Kids Doing Some Sort Of Artistic Work Is Much Higher Than In The General Population - Painting, Drawing, Dancing, Singing. The Creation Of Art Is Still An Everyday Part Of Indian Culture, Unlike The Dominant Culture, Where Art Is Sort Of Peripheral.

I Remember When People Used To Think I Was Smart. I Remember When People Used To Think My Brain Was Useful. Damaged By Water, Sure. And Ready To Seizure At Any Moment. But Still Useful, And Maybe Even A Little Bit Beautiful And Sacred And Magical.

Most Of My Heroes Are Just Decent People. Decency Is Rare And Underrated.

It's A Weird Thing. Reservations Were Meant To Be Prisons, You Know? Indians Were Supposed To Move Onto Reservations And Die. We Were Supposed To Disappear. But Somehow Or Another, Indians Have Forgotten The Reservations Were Meant To Be Death Camps.

Were Meant To Be

There's This Whole Notion Of Being An Indian - The Idea That "warrior" Is A Positive Description Of Us [indians As Native Americans]. When An Indian Guy Does Well, He's A Warrior, Even Now. He Could Be A Computer Salesman, But If He Does Well, He's A Warrior. I'm Not A Pacifist By Any Measure, But I'm Also Fully Aware That The Reasons I Might Go To War Could Be Very Dubious.

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I Don’t Want Long Hair, I Don’t Want Short Hair, I Don’t Want Hair At All, And I Don’t Want To Be A Girl Or A Boy. I Want To Be A Yellow And Orange Leaf Some Little Kid Picks Up And Pastes In His Scrapbook.

Books And Beer Are The Best And Worst Defense.

And Believe Me, A Good Piece Of Chicken Can Make Anybody Believe In The Existence Of God.

All Art Is Exploitation.

Poetry = Anger X Imagination

She Braided My Sister's Hair With Hands That Smelled Deep Roots Buried In The Earth She Told Me The Old Stories How Time Never Mattered When She Died They Gave Me Her Clock

My Books For Adults Had Been Previously Challenged And Banned So I'd Had Experience With It. I Always Find It Sad And Amusing: Sad To Think That Such Archaic And Potentially Dangerous Censorious Beliefs Still Exist, And Amused Because These Censors Only Make A Book More Powerful And Seductive When Trying To Ban It.

What Kind Of Life Can You Have In A House Without Books?

They've Been Screaming About The Death Of Literacy For Years, But I Think Tv Is The Gutenberg [printing] Press. I Think Tv Is The Only Thing That Keeps Us Vaguely In Democracy Even If It's In The Hands Of The Corporate Culture. If You're An Artist You Write In Your Time. Moaning About The Fact That Maybe People Read More Books A Hundred Years Ago - That's Not True. I Think The Same Percentage Has Always Read.

I Guess A Witness Is All I Am. I Think As A Writer, You're Pretty Removed. Writing Is A Very Selfish, Individualistic Pursuit. So In That Sense I'm A Witness Because I'm Not Participating.

Like Any Good Shaman, Professional Baseball Player, Or Politician, My Mother Always Answered Questions With Questions.

Ialways Think It's Funny When Indians Celebrate Thanksgiving. I Mean, Sure, The Indians And Pilgrims Were Best Friends During The First Thanksgiving, But A Few Years Later, The Pilgrims Were Shooting Indians. So I'm Never Quite Sure Why We Eat Turkey Like Everybody Else. (101)

I Was Studying The Sky Like I Was An Astronomer, Except It Was Daytime And I Didn't Have A Telescope, So I Was Just An Idiot.

Spiritual Matters Should Be Private.

Religious Fundamentalists Are Unaware That Freedom Of Religion Necessarily Brings With It The Freedom To Mock Religion.

Freedom Of Religion

I Write In Blood Because I Remember What It Felt Like To Bleed.

Last September 16th, I Was Walking In Downtown Seattle When This Pick-up Truck Pulls Up In Front Of Me. Guy Leans Out The Window And Yells, "go Back To Your Own Country," And I Was Laughing So Hard Because It Wasn't So Much A Hate Crime As A Crime Of Irony.

The Poetry, If You Will, Of Life Is Reduced To This Sort Of Dry, Scientific, You Know, It's The Worst Sort Of Précis Of Who We Are.

And Then I Realized That My Sister Was Trying To Live A Romance Novel. Man, That Takes Courage And Imagination. Well, It Also Took Some Degree Of Mental Illness, Too, But I Was Suddenly Happy For Her. And A Little Scared. Well, A Lot Scared.

That's Right, I Am A Book Kisser.

One Play Can Change Your Momentum Forever.

Corliss Had Never Once Considered The Fate Of Library Books. She'd Never Wondered How Many Books Go Unread. She Loved Books. How Could She Not Worry About The Unread? She Felt Like A Disorganized Scholar, An Inconsiderate Lover, An Abusive Mother, And A Cowardly Soldier.

If You're Good At It, And You Love It, And It Helps You Navigate The River Of The World, Then It Can't Be Wrong.

Read. Read 1000 Pages For Every 1 Page That You Write.

He Made Me Realize That Hard Work--that The Act Of Finishing, Of Completing, Of Accomplishing A Task--is Joyous

I Got Hundreds Of Emails Insulting Me, Accusing Me Of Being Some Caveman. I Am By No Means A Luddite. I Have Two Ipods. I Have A Cell Phone. I Have Cable Tv, Hdtv!

I Write Less About Alcohol, Less And Less And Less. You 're An Addict - So Of Course You Write About The Thing You Love Most. I Loved Alcohol The Most, Loved It More Than Anybody Or Anything. That's What I Wrote About. And It Certainly Accounted For Some Great Writing. But It Accounted For Two Or Three Years Of Good Writing - It Would Never Account For 20 Years Of Good Writing. I Would Have Turned Into Charles Bukowski. He Wrote 10,000 Poems And 10 Of Them Were Great.

Can You Hear The Dreams Crackling Like A Campfire? Can You Hear The Dreams Sweeping Through The Pine Trees And Tipis? Can You Hear The Dreams Laughing In The Sawdust? Can You Hear The Dreams Shaking Just A Little Bit As The Day Grows Long? Can You Hear The Dreams Putting On A Good Jacket That Smells Of Fry Bread And Sweet Smoke? Can You Hear The Dreams Stay Up Late And Talk So Many Stories?

I Refuse To Censor Myself And Kids Will Find Their Own Way To My Books And To All Of The Books That Matter To Them. As I Write More Honestly More Kids Will Make Their Way Toward Me. And In Subverting Their Repressive Parents Kids Will Learn The Value Of Subverting The Repressive Nature Of All Authority Figures.

At Least Half The Country Thinks The Mascot Issue Is Insignificant. But I Think It's Indicative Of The Ways In Which Indians Have No Cultural Power. We're Still Placed In The Past. So We're Either In The Past Or We're Only Viewed Through Casinos.

Do You Know Why The Indian Rain Dances Always Worked? Because The Indians Would Keep Dancing Until It Rained.

What If Someone Picks On Me?" I Asked Then I'll Pick On Them". What If Someone Picks My Nose?" I Asked. The I'll Pick Your Nose, Too" Rowdy Said.

I Was A Controversial Figure On My Reservation When I Was A Kid. I Was Mouthy And Opinionated And Arrogant. Nothing Has Changed.

I Love To Scare The Already Terrified Assholes.

"i Used To Think The World Was Broken Down By Tribes," I Said. "by Black And White. By Indian And White. But I Know That Isn't True. The World Is Only Broken Into Two Tribes: The People Who Are Assholes And The People Who Are Not."

Black And White

There Are All Kinds Of Addicts, I Guess. We All Have Pain. And We All Look For Ways To Make The Pain Go Away. (107)

When It Comes To Death, We Know That Laughter And Tears Are Pretty Much The Same Thing. And So, Laughing And Crying, We Said Good-bye To My Grandmother. And When We Said Goodbye To One Grandmother, We Said Good-bye To All Of Them. Each Funeral Was A Funeral For All Of Us. We Lived And Died Together. All Of Us Laughed When They Lowered My Grandmother Into The Ground. And All Of Us Laughed When They Covered Her With Dirt. And All Of Us Laughed As We Walked And Drove And Rode Our Way Back To Our Lonely, Lonely Houses.

In A Real-world Way, My Gifts Are Very Limited In Terms Of What I Can Do.

We All Know The Indians Were Colonized By The Europeans, But Every Colonized Indian Has Been Colonized By The Indian Reaction To Colonization.

[f]rank Knew He Was Guilty Of Arrogance And Misanthropy, But He Compensated By Being Kind To Strangers And Tipping Really Well At Restaurants.

The Form I Most Enjoy Writing Is The Sonnet Or Sonnet-like Forms, Where You Have A - You Know, Three Stanzas Or Two Stanzas That Lead Into A Concluding Couplet.

I Know I'll Keep Writing Poems. That's The Constant. I Don't Know About Novels. They're Hard. It Takes So Much Concentrated Effort. When I'm Writing A Novel It's Pretty Much All I Can Do. I Get Bored. It Takes Months. Movies Do The Same Thing. It's All-encompassing. It Feels Like I'm Going To End Up Writing Poems, Short Stories And Screenplays.

I Look More Indian When I'm Serious.

It Was So Quiet, A Reservation Kind Of Quiet, Where You Can Hear Somebody Drinking Whiskey On The Rocks Three Miles Away.

If I Wasn't Writing Poems I'd Be Washing My Hands All The Time.

You Can't Sustain [anger]. You Become Bitter. Nothing's Going To Change. Anger Leads To Resentment, Then To Spiking Your Orange Juice, Then To Martyrdom.

These Are Things You Should Learn. Your Past Is A Skeleton Walking One Step Behind You; Your Future Is A Skeleton Walking One Step In Front Of You. Maybe You Don’t Wear A Watch, But Your Skeletons Do, And They Always Know What Time It Is. Now, These Skeletons Are Made Of Memories, Dreams, And Voices. And They Can Trap You In The In-between, Between Touching And Becoming. But They’re Not Necessarily Evil, Unless You Let Them Be.

I Don't Know What Any Individual Should Do About Crossing Her Own Borders. I Only Know That I Live A Happier, More Adventurous Life, By Crossing Borders.

Adventurous Life

Don't Live Up To Your Stereotypes.

Facebook And Twitter And These Other Social Sites Bring Every, I Mean, 140 Characters. I Mean, I'm On Twitter And I Have Fun. But I Don't Think Anybody Learns Anything About Me As A Person.

When I Had No Money, And A Great Book Came Out, I Couldn't Get It. I Had To Wait. I Love The Idea That I Have Hardcover Books Here And At Home That I Haven't Read Yet. That's How I View That I'm Rich. I Have Hardcover Books I May Never Read.

She Was In Pain And I Loved Her, Sort Of Loved Her, I Guess, So I Kind Of Had To Love Her Pain, Too.

Let Us Now Celebrate The Literary Allusion.

When It Comes To Death, We Know That Laughter And Tears Are Pretty Much The Same Thing.

The World, Even The Smallest Parts Of It, Is Filled With Things You Don't Know.

They Put Me In A Holding Cell With A Black Kid And A White Kid And A Chinese Kid. We're The United Nations Of Juvenile Delinquents.

I Feel Like A Carton Of Eggs Holding Up An Elephant.

We're All Travelling Heavy With Illusions.

My Career Means, If You're A Non-indian Writing About Indians, At Least There's One Indian In Your Rearview Mirror.

How Self-centered, How Arrogant... Imagine The Awesome Privilege Of Living In A Society Where You Get To Choose What You Eat At Each And Every Meal. When I Was A Kid, I Was A Vegetarian And A Vegan For Long Stretches... I Was A Commodity Cheese-atarian.

I'm A Method Writer. In Order To Write About The Emotion, I Have To Experience It. I Get Physically Tired And Exhausted, Devoting Hours And Hours And Hours To It.

You Have To Love Somebody That Much To Also Hate Them That Much, Too. (191)

Is God A Man Or A Woman? God Could Be An Armadillo. I Have No Idea.

Humor Was An Antiseptic That Cleaned The Deepest Of Personal Wounds.

I'm A Poet Who Can Whine In Meter

...there Are Some Children Who Aren't Really Children At All, They're Just Pillars Of Flame That Burn Everything They Touch. And There Are Some Children Who Are Just Pillars Of Ash, That Fall Apart When You Touch Them..." ~ Thomas Builds-the-fire (played By Evan Adams) In Alexie's "smoke Signals

My Father Was A Basketball Player, So I Loved Basketball Because He Did. It Was A Direct Transference. But, More Than That, Basketball, In The United States At Least, Plays The Same Function That Soccer Does Everyone Else In The World. It's The Sport Of Poverty. It's The Sport Born Of Poverty. It's The Cheapest Sport.

I Don't Have To Participate In Another Culture's Ceremonies In Order To Respect That Culture.

Writing Is A Lonely Business.

...it's Like This White-indian Thing Has Gotten Out Of Control. And The Thing With The Blacks And The Mexicans. Everybody Blaming Everybody...i Don't Know What Happened. I Can't Explain It All. Just Look Around At The World. Look At This Country. Things Just Aren't Like They Used To Be.' 'son, Things Have Never Been Like What You Think They Used To Be.

I Know A Lot About Being White - Because I Have To, I Live In The White World. A White Person Doesn't Live In The Indian World. I Have To Be White Every Day.

My Only Purpose Is To Teach Children To Rebel Against Authority Figures.

We Only Know How To Lose And Be Lost.

I Write Books For Teenagers Because I Vividly Remember What It Felt Like To Be A Teen Facing Everyday And Epic Dangers. I Don't Write To Protect Them. It's Far Too Late For That. I Write To Give Them Weapons-in The Form Of Words And Ideas-that Will Help Them Fight Their Monsters. I Write In Blood Because I Remember What It Felt Like To Bleed.

A Really Good Stand-up Comic Is A Poet; It's About The Use Of Language. It Can Be Really Poetic. And I Like Politically Conscious Comedy.

I Think The World Is A Series Of Broken Dams And Floods, And My Cartoons Are Tiny Little Lifeboats.

We Indians Really Should Be Better Liars, Considering How Often We've Been Lied To.

Bush Has Not Read Enough Books To Have A Developed Moral Sense. The Fewer Books You Read, The Easier It Is To Become Fundamental. In Some Ways My Antiwar Stand Here Is Also A Stand On Anti-literacy. Someone Should Get G.w. Into A Reading Program, Get Him To Join A Book Club. Have Him Read Hamlet, King Lear.

Well, I Think The Worst Part About Tribalism Is Its Tendency To Fundamentalize, And If I Can Fight Fundamentalism In Any Of Its Forms I'm Happy.

Seems Like The Cold Would Never Go Away And Winter Would Be Like The Bottom Of My Feet But Then It Is Gone In One Night And In Its Place Comes The Sun So Large And Laughable.

If A Parent Doesn't Want His/her Child To Read A Book Then There Is Always An Alternative Text To Read. But The Book Banners Want To Control What Every Child Reads.

The Librarian Spoke In A Reverential Whisper. Corliss Knew She'd Misjudged This Passionate Woman. Maybe She Dressed Poorly, But She Was Probably Great In Bed, Certainly Believed In God And Goodness, And Kept An Illicit Collection Of Overdue Library Books On Her Shelves.

The Dream He Needed Most Was The Dream That Frightened Him More.

I Got In A Fight With My Girlfriend," I Said. "i Was Just Driving Around, Blowing Off Steam, You Know?" Well, You Should Be More Careful Where You Drive," The Officer Said. "you're Making People Nervous. You Don't Fit The Profile Of The Neighborhood." I Wanted To Tell Him That I Didn't Fit The Profile Of The Country But I Knew It Would Just Get Me Into Trouble.

I Draw Because Words Are Too Unpredictable. I Draw Because Words Are Too Limited. If You Speak And Write In English, Or Spanish, Or Chinese, Or Any Other Language, Then Only A Certain Percentage Of Human Beings Will Get Your Meaning. But When You Draw A Picture Everybody Can Understand It. If I Draw A Cartoon Of A Flower, Then Every Man, Woman, And Child In The World Can Look At It And Say, "that's A Flower.

When A Glass Sits On A Table Here, People Don't Wonder If It's Half Filled Or Half Empty. They Just Hope It's Good Beer.

But We Danced, Under Wigs And Between Unfinished Walls, Through Broken Promises And Around Empty Cupboards.

And Then She Asks Me How Many Sexual Partners I've Had And I Say One Or Two Depending On Your Definition Of What I Did To Custer . . .

In The Middle Of The Night, When You're Ambiguously Ethnic, Like Me, When You're Brown, Beige, Mauve, Siena, One Of Those Lighter Browns In The Crayola Box. You Have To Be Careful Of The Cops And Robbers, Because Nobody's Quite Sure What You Are, But Everybody Has Assumptions.

The People Who Loved Me When I Was Seven Years Old Love My Books, And The People Who Didn't Like Me When I Was Seven Years Old Don't Like My Books.

Okay, So Maybe I'm Romantic... But Somebody Is Supposed To Be Romantic. Some Warrior Is Supposed To Go To War Against The Imperial Forces Of Cynicism And Irony. I Am A Sentimental Soldier.

I Hear Poetry Whenever I Turn On The Radio. Eminem Is A Better Poet Than Just About Everybody. He's Better Than Billy Collins; He's Better Than Richard Wilbur; He's Better Than Me.

I Believe In Any Kid's Ability To Read Any Book And Form Their Own Judgements. It's The Job Of A Parent To Guide His/her Child Through The Reading Of Every Book Imaginable. Censorship Of Any Form Punishes Curiosity.

Well, As A Native, As A Colonized People You Do Live In The In Between. The Thing Is I'm Native. But Necessarily Because I'm A Member Of The Country, I'm Also A White American.

If You Teach Kids How To Tell Stories, They Have A Better Chance At Everything.

Like Officer Dave.he's Never Said Much About His Life, But I Can Tell He's Scarred. And He Knows I'm Scarred Too. The Wounded Always Recognize The Wounded. We Can Smell Each Other.

A Lot Of Native Culture Has Been Destroyed. So You Already Feel Lost Inside Your Culture. And Then You Add Up Feeling Lost And Insignificant Inside The Larger Culture. So You End Up Feeling Lost Squared. And To Never Be Recognized, To Never Have Any Power, You Know, Other Minority Communities Actually Have A Lot Of Economic, Cultural Power.

I Suddenly Understood That If Every Moment Of A Book Should Be Taken Seriously, Then Every Moment Of A Life Should Be Taken Seriously As Well.

When You Construct A Mix Tape, The First Song You Come Out With Has To Be A Barnburner.

What Inspires A Poem For Me Is Usually A Moment.

There Isn't A Lot Of Poverty Literature In The Young-adult World. And I Don't Know Why That Is, But I Think Certainly I Felt A Gap.

Those Montana Indians Were So Tough That White People Were Scared Of Them. Can You Imagine A Place Where White People Are Scared Of Indians And Not The Other Way Around? That's Montana.

Corliss Wondered What Happens To A Book That Sits Unread On A Library Shelf For Thirty Years. Can A Book Rightfully Be Called A Book If It Never Gets Read? If A Tree Falls In A Forest And Gets Pulped To Make Paper For A Book That Never Gets Read, But There's Nobody There To Read It, Does It Make A Sound?

Every Movie Is A Road Movie. Every Novel Is A Mystery. Every Tortilla Chip Is Sacred.

When Anybody, No Matter How Old They Are, Loses A Parent, I Think It Hurts The Same As If You Were Only Five Years Old, You Know? I Think All Of Us Are Always Five Years Old In The Presence And Absence Of Our Parents.

I Don't Think The Revisionist Historians Are Accurate. I Think Their Agendas Are Clouded By Selfishness And Anger And Rage.

You Want The Good Life? You Live Where White People Live, You Go To School Where White People Go To School, And You Shop Where White People Shop.

Gordie, The White Boy Genius, Gave Me This Book By A Russian Dude Named Tolstoy, Who Wrote, 'happy Families Are All Alike; Every Unhappy Family Is Unhappy In Its Own Way.' Well, I Hate To Argue With A Russian Genius, But Tolstoy Didn't Know Indians, And He Didn't Know That All Indian Families Are Unhappy For The Same Exact Reasons: The Frikkin' Booze.

The Ordinary Can Be Like Medicine.

I've Come To The Point In My Life Where I Encourage Young Native Americans To Become Much More Selfish About Their Personal Needs And Wants.

Native American

If You Care About Something Enough, It’s Going To Make You Cry. But You Have To Use It. Use Your Tears. Use Your Pain. Use Your Fear. Get Mad. Arnold, Get Mad.

In A Sense, You're Always Mythologizing Your Life; It's Always An Effort To Make Yourself Epic. At Least In Fiction You Can Lie And Sort Of Justify Your Delusion About Your "epicness." But When You're Writing A Memoir, You're Trying To Make Your Life Epic And It's Not - Nobody's Life Is.

Nobody Recognizes That A Bookstore Or Library Can Also Be A Drowning Polar Bear. And In This Country [us], Magazines, Newspapers, And Bookstores Are Drowning Polar Bears. And If People Can't See That Or Don't Want To Talk About It, I Don't Understand Them At All.

That's How I Do This Life Sometimes By Making The Ordinary Just Like Magic And Just Like A Card Trick And Just Like A Mirror And Just Like Disappearing. Every Indian Learns How To Be A Magician And Learns How To Misdirect Attention And The Dark Hand Is Always Quicker Than The White Eye And No Matter How Close You Get To My Heart You Will Never Find Out My Secrets And I'll Never Tell You And I'll Never Show You The Same Trick Twice. I'm Traveling Heavy With Illusions.

I Am Extremely Conscious Of My Tribalism. And When You Talk About Tribalism, You Talk About Living In A Black And White World. I Mean, Native American Tribalism Sovereignty, Even The Political Fight For Sovereignty And Cultural Sovereignty Is A Very Us Versus Them. And I Think A Lot Of People In This Country, Especially European Americans And Those Descended From Europeans Don't See Themselves As Tribal.

Native American

Everybody Likes To Have A Place To Think, To Meditate, To Eat A Burrito.

Indians Have No Monopoly On Environmentalism. That's One Of The Great Myths. But We Were Subsistence Livers. They're Two Different Things. Environmentalism Is A Conscious Choice And Subsistence Is The Absence Of Choice. We Had To Use Everything To Survive. And Now That We've Been Assimilated And Colonized And We Have Luxuries And Excesses, We're Just As Wasteful As Other People.

I Learned How To Stop Crying. I Learned How To Hide Inside Of Myself. I Learned How To Be Somebody Else. I Learned How To Be Cold And Numb.

White Americans Have A Short Memory.

It's Not Oil That Runs The World, It's Shame.

It Sucks To Be Poor, And It Sucks To Feel That You Somehow Deserve To Be Poor. You Start Believing That You're Poor Because You're Stupid And Ugly. And Then You Start Believing That You're Stupid And Ugly Because You're Indian. And Because You're Indian You Start Believing You're Destined To Be Poor. It's An Ugly Circle And There's Nothing You Can Do About It.

Yes, I Am Irish And Indian, Which Would Be The Coolest Blend In The World If My Parents Were Around To Teach Me How To Be Irish And Indian. But They're Not Here And Haven't Been For Years, So I'm Not Really Irish Or Indian. I Am A Blank Sky, A Human Solar Eclipse.

Every Indian Kid Has Access To Myspace And Facebook. But That Doesn't Mean They Have Access To Books And Great Teachers. This Idea About Bringing Digital Tech Into Schools Is Great, But Once Again I'll Say That This Is Not How People Actually Learn.

Yep, My Daddy Was An Undependable Drunk. But He'd Never Missed Any Of My Organized Games, Concerts, Plays, Or Picnics. He May Not Have Loved Me Perfectly, But He Loved Me As Well As He Could. (189)

If One Reads Enough Books, One Has A Fighting Chance.

I Realized That I Might Be A Lonely Indian Boy, But I Was Not Alone In The Loneliness. There Were Millions Of Other Americans Who Had Left Their Birthplaces In Search Of A Dream. (217)

We Are Taught To Take The Bread Into Our Bodies As Proof Of Jesus's Body.

I'm Not A Pacifist By Any Measure, But I'm Also Fully Aware That The Reasons I Might Go To War Could Be Very Dubious.

Is Revenge A Circle Inside Of A Circle Inside Of A Circle?

The Problem For Me With Liberals Is That We've Abdicated Our Moral Responsibility To The Universe.

Somebody Dies And People Eat Your Food. Funny How That Works.

We Can All Learn From Every Text. Reading The Work That Disgusts You Can Only Strengthen Your Core Beliefs. I Could Teach A Semester-long Course Based Only On Reading The Local Telephone Book. All Stories Can Be Taught In Valuable Ways.

Funny How A Little Politeness Can Change People's Minds.

If You Really Want A Woman To Love You, Then You Have To Dance. And If You Don’t Want To Dance, Then You’re Going To Have To Work Extra Hard To Make A Woman Love You Forever, And You Will Always Run The Risk That She Will Leave You At Any Second For A Man Who Knows How To Tango.

The Problem Is That Too Many Adults Think Their Kids' Lives Are Simple, Or They Try To Make Their Lives Simple, When Their Emotional Lives Are Just As Complicated As Ours. They Might Have A Few Less Tools To Deal With It Because They're Young, But The Emotions Are All The Same, And The Subject Matter Is All The Same.

My Father Was Sleepless Most Of His Life. So By The Age Of Five, I Was Awake With Him All Night Long, Watching Bad Television Or We'd Lie In The Same Bed, And I'd Read My Comic Books While He Read His Latest Spy Or Mystery Novel.

If It's Fiction, Then It Better Be True.

We All Have To Find Our Own Ways To Say Good-bye.

I End Up Feeling Like A Spy In The House Of Ethnicity, You Know? Because People Will Talk Around Me As They Would Talk Around The People In Their Cultural Group. So I Get To Hear All The Secrets And Jokes And You Know, I'm A Part Of Every Community Because Of The Way I Look.

In High School I Dated A White Woman. She Would Come To Visit Me On The Rez. And Her Dad, Who Was Very Racist, Didn't Like That At All. And He Told Her One Time, 'you Shouldn't Go On The Rez If You're White Because Indians Have A Lot Of Anger In Their Heart.'

Life Is A Constant Struggle Between Being An Individual And Being A Member Of The Community.

Estranged From The Tribe That Gives No Protection, What Happens To The Soul That Hates Its Reflection?

Sometimes It's Called Passing Out And Sometimes It's Just Pretending To Be Asleep

Certainly I'm Angry At The Way Indians Have Been Treated And Continue To Be Treated. But I Don't Think It's A Helpless Emotion.

When You Read A Piece Of Writing That You Admire, Send A Note Of Thanks To The Author.

Also Because I'm Ambiguously Ethnic Looking, You Know, I Come To New York And I Can Be Anything. People Generally Think I'm Half Of Whatever They Are.

The Cello Looks Like A Woman To Me. And, You Know, The Curves. And So I Am In A Way, And It's Funny To Admit This, I Am Sexually Attracted To The Cello, The Curves Really Get Me. So As I Watched Him Play, You Know, Yo Yo Ma Is Sort Of Making Love To A Beautiful Woman.

When You Resort To Violence To Prove A Point, You’ve Just Experienced A Profound Failure Of Imagination.

My Name Is Sherman J. Alexie Jr., And I Am An Insomniac.

When Are We Left-wingers Going To Learn That We Are Losing The Cultural And Political Battle With Conservatives Because We Are Fractured Into Narcissistic Special-interest Groups? Why Should An Antiwar Protestor Be So Concerned About Her Dietary Identity? The Political Opinions Of Vegetarians And Meat-eaters Are, After All, Equally Important. And What Does It Tell Us About Vegetarians That It Would Never Occur To Meat-eaters To Carry A Sign That Reads "pacifist Pork Chop Lover For Peace" Or "backyard Rib Barbecuer For International Nuclear Disarmament"?

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