Background Image
...
I Felt So Conflicted About Having Fled The Rez As A Kid That I Created A Whole Literary Career That Left Me There.
-Sherman Alexie
...
Please Wait....
Translating....

I Felt So Conflicted

Sherman Alexie
...
I Felt So Conflicted About Having Fled The Rez As A Kid That I Created A Whole Literary Career That Left Me There.

Understanding the Quote: "i felt so conflicted about having fled the rez as a kid..."

This quote by Sherman Alexie reflects deeply on the theme of kids. It connects to the universal human journey of purpose, motivation, and reflection. Often categorized under Kids, Careers, Whole, the quote offers insight, emotional clarity, and intellectual inspiration to readers worldwide.

Whether you’re a student exploring new ideas, a leader trying to motivate your team, or someone seeking direction in life — this quote provides value. It resonates because it’s more than words — it’s a bridge between experience and wisdom. It shows how Sherman Alexie interprets life's core challenges and triumphs.

Lessons From the Quote

This quote teaches resilience and focus. It reminds readers that no matter where they stand in life, reflection and self-awareness lead to growth. Each word has meaning, and when studied, it becomes clear how impactful thoughtful language can be.

About Sherman Alexie

Sherman Alexie is celebrated for insightful thoughts on kids and careers. Their legacy lives on through writings that guide, comfort, and inspire. Discover more on their profile page.

Actionable Takeaways

  • Reflect on how this quote applies to your current life path.
  • Share the message with someone who needs inspiration.
  • Write your thoughts on this quote in a journal or blog post.
  • Use it as a daily affirmation or reminder.

Closing Thoughts

Quotes like this endure because they capture universal truths. They comfort us in solitude and empower us in groups. Carry this quote forward — live by its wisdom, share its message, and keep its essence alive.

Views: 73651
Topic
Kids
Careers
Whole
More From Sherman Alexie
She Told Me That Every Other Step Was Just For Me.' But That's Only Half Of The Dance,' I Said. Yeah,' My Father Said. 'she Was Keeping The Rest For Herself. Nobody Can Give Everything Away. It Ain't Healthy.
Father
Giving
Healthy
The Streetlight Outside My House Shines On Tonight And I'm Watching It Like It Could Give Me A Vision. James Ain't Talked Ever And He Looks At That Streetlight Like It Was A Word And Maybe Like It Was A Verb. James Wanted To Streetlight Me And Make Me Bright And Beautiful So All The Moths And Bats Would Circle Me Like I Was The Center Of The World An Held Secrets.
Beautiful
Shine On
Circles
And I Couldn't Make Fun Of Her For That Dream. It Was My Dream, Too. And Indian Boys Weren't Supposed To Dream Like That. And White Girls From Small Towns Weren't Supposed To Dream Big, Either. We Were Supposed To Be Happy With Our Limitations. But There Was No Way Penelope And I Were Going To Sit Still. Nope, We Both Wanted To Fly.
Girl
Dream
Fun
I Got In A Fight With My Girlfriend," I Said. "i Was Just Driving Around, Blowing Off Steam, You Know?" Well, You Should Be More Careful Where You Drive," The Officer Said. "you're Making People Nervous. You Don't Fit The Profile Of The Neighborhood." I Wanted To Tell Him That I Didn't Fit The Profile Of The Country But I Knew It Would Just Get Me Into Trouble.
Country
Girlfriend
Fighting
We All Have To Find Our Own Ways To Say Good-bye.
Bye
Way
Good Bye
I'll Quit Eating Meat When You Get A Cow Out Here To Beat Me At A Poetry Slam. Only So Many Words Rhyme With 'mooo.' I Mean, Yes, We're Supposed To Be Better Stewards; Yes, We're Supposed To Take Care Of The Earth; Yes, We're Supposed To Honor The Sacrifices Made By The Animals; Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes, But Dammit, We're In Charge, And You Know Why? It's Because Of These [holding Out Thumbs]...maybe You Think That Carrots Are Less Important Than Cows. I Think They're Equal, Especially In A Sauce.
Mean
Sacrifice
Thinking
The Form I Most Enjoy Writing Is The Sonnet Or Sonnet-like Forms, Where You Have A - You Know, Three Stanzas Or Two Stanzas That Lead Into A Concluding Couplet.
Writing
Two
Three
Sometimes It's Called Passing Out And Sometimes It's Just Pretending To Be Asleep
Sometimes
Pretending
Passing
If I Wasn't Writing Poems I'd Be Washing My Hands All The Time.
Writing
Hands
Washing
My Father Was A Basketball Player, So I Loved Basketball Because He Did. It Was A Direct Transference. But, More Than That, Basketball, In The United States At Least, Plays The Same Function That Soccer Does Everyone Else In The World. It's The Sport Of Poverty. It's The Sport Born Of Poverty. It's The Cheapest Sport.
Basketball
Soccer
Sports
Like Any Good Shaman, Professional Baseball Player, Or Politician, My Mother Always Answered Questions With Questions.
Baseball
Mother
Player
We Can All Learn From Every Text. Reading The Work That Disgusts You Can Only Strengthen Your Core Beliefs. I Could Teach A Semester-long Course Based Only On Reading The Local Telephone Book. All Stories Can Be Taught In Valuable Ways.
Book
Reading
Belief
She Was In Pain And I Loved Her, Sort Of Loved Her, I Guess, So I Kind Of Had To Love Her Pain, Too.
Pain
Kind
If One Reads Enough Books, One Has A Fighting Chance.
Book
Fighting
Enough Chances
The Problem For Me With Liberals Is That We've Abdicated Our Moral Responsibility To The Universe.
Responsibility
Moral
Problem
When I Had No Money, And A Great Book Came Out, I Couldn't Get It. I Had To Wait. I Love The Idea That I Have Hardcover Books Here And At Home That I Haven't Read Yet. That's How I View That I'm Rich. I Have Hardcover Books I May Never Read.
Book
Home
Views
I Write Books For Teenagers Because I Vividly Remember What It Felt Like To Be A Teen Facing Everyday And Epic Dangers. I Don't Write To Protect Them. It's Far Too Late For That. I Write To Give Them Weapons-in The Form Of Words And Ideas-that Will Help Them Fight Their Monsters. I Write In Blood Because I Remember What It Felt Like To Bleed.
Teenager
Book
Writing
I Write In Blood Because I Remember What It Felt Like To Bleed.
Writing
Blood
Remember
There Isn't A Lot Of Poverty Literature In The Young-adult World. And I Don't Know Why That Is, But I Think Certainly I Felt A Gap.
Thinking
Adults
Literature
I Guess A Witness Is All I Am. I Think As A Writer, You're Pretty Removed. Writing Is A Very Selfish, Individualistic Pursuit. So In That Sense I'm A Witness Because I'm Not Participating.
Selfish
Writing
Thinking
He Loved Her, Of Course, But Better Than That, He Chose Her, Day After Day. Choice: That Was The Thing.
Love
Choices
Courses
Also Because I'm Ambiguously Ethnic Looking, You Know, I Come To New York And I Can Be Anything. People Generally Think I'm Half Of Whatever They Are.
New York
Thinking
People
I Learned How To Stop Crying. I Learned How To Hide Inside Of Myself. I Learned How To Be Somebody Else. I Learned How To Be Cold And Numb.
Cold
Cry
Numb
Don't Live Up To Your Stereotypes.
Stereotype
The Problem Is That Too Many Adults Think Their Kids' Lives Are Simple, Or They Try To Make Their Lives Simple, When Their Emotional Lives Are Just As Complicated As Ours. They Might Have A Few Less Tools To Deal With It Because They're Young, But The Emotions Are All The Same, And The Subject Matter Is All The Same.
Kids
Simple
Emotional
How Self-centered, How Arrogant... Imagine The Awesome Privilege Of Living In A Society Where You Get To Choose What You Eat At Each And Every Meal. When I Was A Kid, I Was A Vegetarian And A Vegan For Long Stretches... I Was A Commodity Cheese-atarian.
Kids
Self
Long
I Don't Think The Revisionist Historians Are Accurate. I Think Their Agendas Are Clouded By Selfishness And Anger And Rage.
Thinking
Selfishness
Agendas
Every Indian Kid Has Access To Myspace And Facebook. But That Doesn't Mean They Have Access To Books And Great Teachers. This Idea About Bringing Digital Tech Into Schools Is Great, But Once Again I'll Say That This Is Not How People Actually Learn.
Teacher
Book
School
If You Care About Something Enough, It’s Going To Make You Cry. But You Have To Use It. Use Your Tears. Use Your Pain. Use Your Fear. Get Mad. Arnold, Get Mad.
Life
Pain
Mad
I Grabbed My Book And Opened It Up. I Wanted To Smell It. Heck, I Wanted To Kiss It. Yes, Kiss It. That's Right, I Am A Book Kisser. Maybe That's Kind Of Perverted Or Maybe It's Just Romantic And Highly Intelligent.
Book
Kissing
Intelligent
Nostalgia Is Always Doomed And Dooming.
Nostalgia
Doomed
Your Past Is A Skeleton Walking One Step Behind You, And Your Future Is A A Skeleton Walking One Step In Front Of You. Maybe You Don't Wear A Watch, But Your Skeletons Do, And They Always Know What Time It Is.
Past
Skeletons
Watches
Do You Know Why The Indian Rain Dances Always Worked? Because The Indians Would Keep Dancing Until It Rained.
Rain
Dancing
Knows
When You Resort To Violence To Prove A Point, You’ve Just Experienced A Profound Failure Of Imagination.
Profound
Imagination
Violence
I Don't Have To Participate In Another Culture's Ceremonies In Order To Respect That Culture.
Order
Culture
Ceremony
Environmentalism Is A Luxury. Just Like Being A Vegetarian Is A Luxury. When You Have To Worry About Eating - You're Not Going To Be Worried About Where The Food's Coming From, Or Who Made Your Shoes. Poverty, Whether Planned Or Not Planned, Is A Way Of Making Environmentalism Moot.
Shoes
Luxury
Worry
I Know I'll Keep Writing Poems. That's The Constant. I Don't Know About Novels. They're Hard. It Takes So Much Concentrated Effort. When I'm Writing A Novel It's Pretty Much All I Can Do. I Get Bored. It Takes Months. Movies Do The Same Thing. It's All-encompassing. It Feels Like I'm Going To End Up Writing Poems, Short Stories And Screenplays.
Writing
Bored
Effort
In Order To Know Somebody Through Their Words, I Mean, It Has To Be An, It Has To Be A Letter, You Know? It Has To Be A Long E-mail. It Has To Be A Five-page Hand-written Letter, You Know, It Has To Be Overwhelming And Messy And Sloppy As Humans Are.
Mean
Hands
Order
The Ordinary Can Be Like Medicine.
Medicine
Ordinary
If One Reads Enough Books One Has A Fighting Chance. Or Better, One's Chances Of Survival Increase With Each Book One Reads.
Book
Reading
Writing
He Looked Into The Crowd For Approval, Saw His Mother And Father. He Waved And They Waved Back. Smiles And Indian Teeth. They Were Both Drunk. Everything Familiar And Welcome. Everything Beautiful.
Beautiful
Mother
Father
Funny How A Little Politeness Can Change People's Minds.
People
Mind
Littles
All Art Is Exploitation.
Art
Art Is
Exploitation
If I Were A Doctor Nobody Would Be Inviting Me To Talk To Reservations. I'd Be A Different Person. Writers Can Influence More People.
Doctors
People
Different
If You Teach Kids How To Tell Stories, They Have A Better Chance At Everything.
Kids
Stories
Chance
Only In Rock Music And The Literary World You See So Many Ugly White Guys With Beautiful Women. That Says A Lot About The Women, Their Character. They're Attracted To More Than Surface.
Beautiful
Character
White
Unlike Landed White Men, She Didn't Need To Climb Mountains To Experience Mystic Panic. All She Needed Was To Set Her Alarm Dock For The Next Morning, Wake When It Rang, And Go To Class.
Morning
Men
White
The People Who Loved Me When I Was Seven Years Old Love My Books, And The People Who Didn't Like Me When I Was Seven Years Old Don't Like My Books.
Book
Years
People
Drinking Would Shut Down My Seeing And My Hearing And My Feeling," She Used To Say. "why Would I Want To Be In The World If I Couldn't Touch The World With All Of My Senses Intact?
Drinking
Feelings
World
When A Glass Sits On A Table Here, People Don't Wonder If It's Half Filled Or Half Empty. They Just Hope It's Good Beer.
Beer
Glasses
People
"i Used To Think The World Was Broken Down By Tribes," I Said. "by Black And White. By Indian And White. But I Know That Isn't True. The World Is Only Broken Into Two Tribes: The People Who Are Assholes And The People Who Are Not."
Black And White
Thinking
Two
My Name Is Sherman J. Alexie Jr., And I Am An Insomniac.
Names
Insomniac
My Only Purpose Is To Teach Children To Rebel Against Authority Figures.
Children
Rebel
Purpose
I Recognize Now That The Conditions That Indians Are Living In Are The Conditions That Poor People Everywhere Are Living In.
People
Poor
Poor People
I Think The World Is A Series Of Broken Dams And Floods, And My Cartoons Are Tiny Little Lifeboats.
Thinking
Broken
Cartoon
I Thought I’d Been Condescended To As An Indian - That Was Nothing Compared To The Condescension For Writing Y.a.
Writing
Adults
Literature
Nobody Recognizes That A Bookstore Or Library Can Also Be A Drowning Polar Bear. And In This Country [us], Magazines, Newspapers, And Bookstores Are Drowning Polar Bears. And If People Can't See That Or Don't Want To Talk About It, I Don't Understand Them At All.
Country
People
Library
Poetry = Anger X Imagination
Anger
Imagination
I've Come To The Point In My Life Where I Encourage Young Native Americans To Become Much More Selfish About Their Personal Needs And Wants.
Selfish
Native American
Needs
We Are Taught To Take The Bread Into Our Bodies As Proof Of Jesus's Body.
Jesus
Body
Bread
When It Comes To Death, We Know That Laughter And Tears Are Pretty Much The Same Thing.
Laughter
Tears
Knows
Writing Is A Lonely Business.
Lonely
Writing
At Least Half The Country Thinks The Mascot Issue Is Insignificant. But I Think It's Indicative Of The Ways In Which Indians Have No Cultural Power. We're Still Placed In The Past. So We're Either In The Past Or We're Only Viewed Through Casinos.
Country
Past
Thinking
I Believe In Any Kid's Ability To Read Any Book And Form Their Own Judgements. It's The Job Of A Parent To Guide His/her Child Through The Reading Of Every Book Imaginable. Censorship Of Any Form Punishes Curiosity.
Children
Book
Reading
He Wanted The Songs, The Stories, To Save Everybody.
Song
Stories
Wanted
When You Construct A Mix Tape, The First Song You Come Out With Has To Be A Barnburner.
Song
Tape
Firsts
I Didn't Know What To Say To Her. What Do You Say To People When They Ask How It Feels To Lose Everything? When Every Planet In Your Solar System Has Exploded?
People
Planets
Solar System
Do You Understand How Amazing It Is To Hear That From An Adult? Do You Know How Amazing It Is To Hear That From Anybody? It's One Of The Simplest Sentences In The World, Just Four Words, But They're The Four Hugest Words In The World When They're Put Together. You Can Do It.
Together
World
Four
Last September 16th, I Was Walking In Downtown Seattle When This Pick-up Truck Pulls Up In Front Of Me. Guy Leans Out The Window And Yells, "go Back To Your Own Country," And I Was Laughing So Hard Because It Wasn't So Much A Hate Crime As A Crime Of Irony.
Country
Xenophobia
Hate
A Really Good Stand-up Comic Is A Poet; It's About The Use Of Language. It Can Be Really Poetic. And I Like Politically Conscious Comedy.
Use
Comedy
Language
Certainly I'm Angry At The Way Indians Have Been Treated And Continue To Be Treated. But I Don't Think It's A Helpless Emotion.
Thinking
Way
Emotion
My Wife Was The First Romantic Partner Who Understood Both American And Native Parts Of Me - Not So Much The Positive Stuff, But The Damage.
Positive
Damage Is Done
Wife
It's Not Oil That Runs The World, It's Shame.
Running
Oil
World
We All Know The Indians Were Colonized By The Europeans, But Every Colonized Indian Has Been Colonized By The Indian Reaction To Colonization.
Reactions
Colonization
Knows
I Think Most Native American Literature Is Unreadable By The Vast Majority Of Native Americans. Generally Speaking Indians Don't Read Books. It's Not A Book Culture. That's Why I'm Trying To Make Movies. Indians Go To Movies; Indians Own Video Recorders.
Book
Native American
Thinking
I Suddenly Understood That If Every Moment Of A Book Should Be Taken Seriously, Then Every Moment Of A Life Should Be Taken Seriously As Well.
Book
Taken
Moments
What Inspires A Poem For Me Is Usually A Moment.
Inspire
Moments
The Librarian Spoke In A Reverential Whisper. Corliss Knew She'd Misjudged This Passionate Woman. Maybe She Dressed Poorly, But She Was Probably Great In Bed, Certainly Believed In God And Goodness, And Kept An Illicit Collection Of Overdue Library Books On Her Shelves.
Book
People
Judgement
Spiritual Matters Should Be Private.
Spiritual
Matter
Should
I Feel Like A Carton Of Eggs Holding Up An Elephant.
Eggs
Elephants
Feels
My Career Means, If You're A Non-indian Writing About Indians, At Least There's One Indian In Your Rearview Mirror.
Writing
Mean
Mirrors
I Hear Poetry Whenever I Turn On The Radio. Eminem Is A Better Poet Than Just About Everybody. He's Better Than Billy Collins; He's Better Than Richard Wilbur; He's Better Than Me.
Radio
Poet
Turns
I'm Quite Aware Of My Differences. I Wouldn't Classify Them As Weird
Differences
Is Revenge A Circle Inside Of A Circle Inside Of A Circle?
Revenge
Circles
If A Parent Doesn't Want His/her Child To Read A Book Then There Is Always An Alternative Text To Read. But The Book Banners Want To Control What Every Child Reads.
Children
Book
Parent
I End Up Feeling Like A Spy In The House Of Ethnicity, You Know? Because People Will Talk Around Me As They Would Talk Around The People In Their Cultural Group. So I Get To Hear All The Secrets And Jokes And You Know, I'm A Part Of Every Community Because Of The Way I Look.
Ethnicity
People
House
There Are All Kinds Of Addicts, I Guess. We All Have Pain. And We All Look For Ways To Make The Pain Go Away. (107)
Pain
Addiction
Going Away
Yep, My Daddy Was An Undependable Drunk. But He'd Never Missed Any Of My Organized Games, Concerts, Plays, Or Picnics. He May Not Have Loved Me Perfectly, But He Loved Me As Well As He Could. (189)
Games
Play
Daddy
That's How I Do This Life Sometimes By Making The Ordinary Just Like Magic And Just Like A Card Trick And Just Like A Mirror And Just Like Disappearing. Every Indian Learns How To Be A Magician And Learns How To Misdirect Attention And The Dark Hand Is Always Quicker Than The White Eye And No Matter How Close You Get To My Heart You Will Never Find Out My Secrets And I'll Never Tell You And I'll Never Show You The Same Trick Twice. I'm Traveling Heavy With Illusions.
Eye
Heart
Dark
I Am Extremely Conscious Of My Tribalism. And When You Talk About Tribalism, You Talk About Living In A Black And White World. I Mean, Native American Tribalism Sovereignty, Even The Political Fight For Sovereignty And Cultural Sovereignty Is A Very Us Versus Them. And I Think A Lot Of People In This Country, Especially European Americans And Those Descended From Europeans Don't See Themselves As Tribal.
Country
Native American
Mean
It's Way Too Early For Him To Be Talking Anyhow But I See In His Eyes Something And I See In His Eyes A Voice And I See In His Eyes A Whole New Set Of Words
Eye
Talking
Voice
And Believe Me, A Good Piece Of Chicken Can Make Anybody Believe In The Existence Of God.
Believe
Pieces
Chickens
I Know A Lot About Being White - Because I Have To, I Live In The White World. A White Person Doesn't Live In The Indian World. I Have To Be White Every Day.
White
World
Persons
A Lot Of Native Culture Has Been Destroyed. So You Already Feel Lost Inside Your Culture. And Then You Add Up Feeling Lost And Insignificant Inside The Larger Culture. So You End Up Feeling Lost Squared. And To Never Be Recognized, To Never Have Any Power, You Know, Other Minority Communities Actually Have A Lot Of Economic, Cultural Power.
Community
Feelings
Feeling Lost
I Look More Indian When I'm Serious.
Looks
Serious
Indian
My Father Was Always Depressed. When He Was Home And Sober, He Was Mostly In His Room.
Father
Home
Sober Up
I Was A Controversial Figure On My Reservation When I Was A Kid. I Was Mouthy And Opinionated And Arrogant. Nothing Has Changed.
Kids
Arrogant
Controversial
If You Really Want A Woman To Love You, Then You Have To Dance. And If You Don’t Want To Dance, Then You’re Going To Have To Work Extra Hard To Make A Woman Love You Forever, And You Will Always Run The Risk That She Will Leave You At Any Second For A Man Who Knows How To Tango.
Running
Love You
Men
All I Try To Do Is Portray Indians As We Are, In Creative Ways. With Imagination And Poetry. I Think A Lot Of Native American Literature Is Stuck In One Idea: Sort Of Spiritual, Environmentalist Indians. And I Want To Portray Everyday Lives. I Think By Doing That, By Portraying The Ordinary Lives Of Indians, Perhaps People Learn Something New.
Spiritual
Native American
Thinking
When You Read A Piece Of Writing That You Admire, Send A Note Of Thanks To The Author.
Writing
Pieces
Thanks
Yes, I Am Irish And Indian, Which Would Be The Coolest Blend In The World If My Parents Were Around To Teach Me How To Be Irish And Indian. But They're Not Here And Haven't Been For Years, So I'm Not Really Irish Or Indian. I Am A Blank Sky, A Human Solar Eclipse.
Years
Sky
Parent
My Father Was Sleepless Most Of His Life. So By The Age Of Five, I Was Awake With Him All Night Long, Watching Bad Television Or We'd Lie In The Same Bed, And I'd Read My Comic Books While He Read His Latest Spy Or Mystery Novel.
Father
Lying
Book
When Anybody, No Matter How Old They Are, Loses A Parent, I Think It Hurts The Same As If You Were Only Five Years Old, You Know? I Think All Of Us Are Always Five Years Old In The Presence And Absence Of Our Parents.
Hurt
Thinking
Years
Seems Like The Cold Would Never Go Away And Winter Would Be Like The Bottom Of My Feet But Then It Is Gone In One Night And In Its Place Comes The Sun So Large And Laughable.
Winter
Night
Feet
The Cello Looks Like A Woman To Me. And, You Know, The Curves. And So I Am In A Way, And It's Funny To Admit This, I Am Sexually Attracted To The Cello, The Curves Really Get Me. So As I Watched Him Play, You Know, Yo Yo Ma Is Sort Of Making Love To A Beautiful Woman.
Beautiful
Curves
Play
I Grew Up In A Storytelling Culture, A Tribal Culture, But Also In An American Storytelling Culture.
Culture
Storytelling
Grew Up
My Books For Adults Had Been Previously Challenged And Banned So I'd Had Experience With It. I Always Find It Sad And Amusing: Sad To Think That Such Archaic And Potentially Dangerous Censorious Beliefs Still Exist, And Amused Because These Censors Only Make A Book More Powerful And Seductive When Trying To Ban It.
Powerful
Book
Thinking
Because I'm An American, I Know There's All Sorts Of International Folks Who Would Gladly Kidnap And Behead Me.
Folks
International
Knows
What If Someone Picks On Me?" I Asked Then I'll Pick On Them". What If Someone Picks My Nose?" I Asked. The I'll Pick Your Nose, Too" Rowdy Said.
What If
Rowdy
Noses
But Something Magical Happened To Me When I Went To Reardan. Overnight I Became A Good Player. I Suppose It Had Something To Do With Confidence. I Mean, I'd Always Been The Lowest Indian On The Reservation Totem Pole - I Wasn't Expected To Be Good So I Wasn't. But In Reardan, My Coach And The Other Players Wanted Me To Be Good. They Needed Me To Be Good. They Expected Me To Be Good. And So I Became Good. I Wanted To Live Up To The Expectations. I Guess That's What It Comes Down To. The Power Of Expectations. And As They Expected More Of Me, I Expected More Of Myself, And It Just Grew And Grew.
Mean
Player
Expectations
We Indians Really Should Be Better Liars, Considering How Often We've Been Lied To.
Liars
Lied
Should
And None Of These People, Not One Of Them, Had Loved Any Of The Others Well Enough. Failures, He Thought, We're All Failures... He Wanted His Love To Be The Wine And Bread, And The Blood And Flesh. He Reached For Her, A Dangerous Stranger In A City Of Dangerous Strangers, But She Turned Away From Him And Walked Unsteadily Through The Crowd. How Many Loveless People Walk Among The Barely Loved?
Love
Wine
Blood
I Draw Because Words Are Too Unpredictable. I Draw Because Words Are Too Limited. If You Speak And Write In English, Or Spanish, Or Chinese, Or Any Other Language, Then Only A Certain Percentage Of Human Beings Will Get Your Meaning. But When You Draw A Picture Everybody Can Understand It. If I Draw A Cartoon Of A Flower, Then Every Man, Woman, And Child In The World Can Look At It And Say, "that's A Flower.
Children
Flower
Writing
Like Officer Dave.he's Never Said Much About His Life, But I Can Tell He's Scarred. And He Knows I'm Scarred Too. The Wounded Always Recognize The Wounded. We Can Smell Each Other.
Smell
Dave
Said
That's One More Thing People Don't Know About Indians: We Love To Talk Dirty.
Dirty
People
Dirty Talk
In A Sense, You're Always Mythologizing Your Life; It's Always An Effort To Make Yourself Epic. At Least In Fiction You Can Lie And Sort Of Justify Your Delusion About Your "epicness." But When You're Writing A Memoir, You're Trying To Make Your Life Epic And It's Not - Nobody's Life Is.
Lying
Writing
Epic
Those Montana Indians Were So Tough That White People Were Scared Of Them. Can You Imagine A Place Where White People Are Scared Of Indians And Not The Other Way Around? That's Montana.
White
People
Montana
If You Let People Into Your Life A Little Bit, They Can Be Pretty Damn Amazing.
Inspiring
People
Littles
I'm Not A Pacifist By Any Measure, But I'm Also Fully Aware That The Reasons I Might Go To War Could Be Very Dubious.
War
Dubious
Might
There's This Whole Notion Of Being An Indian - The Idea That "warrior" Is A Positive Description Of Us [indians As Native Americans]. When An Indian Guy Does Well, He's A Warrior, Even Now. He Could Be A Computer Salesman, But If He Does Well, He's A Warrior. I'm Not A Pacifist By Any Measure, But I'm Also Fully Aware That The Reasons I Might Go To War Could Be Very Dubious.
War
Native American
Ideas
Facebook And Twitter And These Other Social Sites Bring Every, I Mean, 140 Characters. I Mean, I'm On Twitter And I Have Fun. But I Don't Think Anybody Learns Anything About Me As A Person.
Fun
Character
Mean
In A Real-world Way, My Gifts Are Very Limited In Terms Of What I Can Do.
Real
World
Way
You Have To Love Somebody That Much To Also Hate Them That Much, Too. (191)
Hate
I Refuse To Censor Myself And Kids Will Find Their Own Way To My Books And To All Of The Books That Matter To Them. As I Write More Honestly More Kids Will Make Their Way Toward Me. And In Subverting Their Repressive Parents Kids Will Learn The Value Of Subverting The Repressive Nature Of All Authority Figures.
Book
Kids
Writing
Okay, So Maybe I'm Romantic... But Somebody Is Supposed To Be Romantic. Some Warrior Is Supposed To Go To War Against The Imperial Forces Of Cynicism And Irony. I Am A Sentimental Soldier.
War
Soldier
Sentimental
...it's Like This White-indian Thing Has Gotten Out Of Control. And The Thing With The Blacks And The Mexicans. Everybody Blaming Everybody...i Don't Know What Happened. I Can't Explain It All. Just Look Around At The World. Look At This Country. Things Just Aren't Like They Used To Be.' 'son, Things Have Never Been Like What You Think They Used To Be.
Country
Son
Thinking
You Want The Good Life? You Live Where White People Live, You Go To School Where White People Go To School, And You Shop Where White People Shop.
Good Life
School
White
They've Been Screaming About The Death Of Literacy For Years, But I Think Tv Is The Gutenberg [printing] Press. I Think Tv Is The Only Thing That Keeps Us Vaguely In Democracy Even If It's In The Hands Of The Corporate Culture. If You're An Artist You Write In Your Time. Moaning About The Fact That Maybe People Read More Books A Hundred Years Ago - That's Not True. I Think The Same Percentage Has Always Read.
Book
Writing
Thinking
Reardan Is The Rich White Farm Town That Sits In The Wheat Fields Exactly 22 Miles Away From The Rez. And It's A Hick Town I Suppose Filled With Farmers And Rednecks And Racists Cops Who Stop Every Indian That Drives Through. During One Week When I Was Little Dad Got Stopped Three Times For Dwi- Driving While Indian.
Dad
Redneck
Wheat Fields
But We Danced, Under Wigs And Between Unfinished Walls, Through Broken Promises And Around Empty Cupboards.
Wall
Broken
Promise
Humor Was An Antiseptic That Cleaned The Deepest Of Personal Wounds.
Wounds
That's The Whole Point Of Life, You Know? To Meet New People.
People
Meeting New People
Whole
I'm A Method Writer. In Order To Write About The Emotion, I Have To Experience It. I Get Physically Tired And Exhausted, Devoting Hours And Hours And Hours To It.
Writing
Tired
Order
Estranged From The Tribe That Gives No Protection, What Happens To The Soul That Hates Its Reflection?
Hate
Reflection
Giving
Can You Hear The Dreams Crackling Like A Campfire? Can You Hear The Dreams Sweeping Through The Pine Trees And Tipis? Can You Hear The Dreams Laughing In The Sawdust? Can You Hear The Dreams Shaking Just A Little Bit As The Day Grows Long? Can You Hear The Dreams Putting On A Good Jacket That Smells Of Fry Bread And Sweet Smoke? Can You Hear The Dreams Stay Up Late And Talk So Many Stories?
Dream
Sweet
Smell
Bush Has Not Read Enough Books To Have A Developed Moral Sense. The Fewer Books You Read, The Easier It Is To Become Fundamental. In Some Ways My Antiwar Stand Here Is Also A Stand On Anti-literacy. Someone Should Get G.w. Into A Reading Program, Get Him To Join A Book Club. Have Him Read Hamlet, King Lear.
Kings
Book
Reading
What Kind Of Life Can You Have In A House Without Books?
Book
House
Kind
Poverty Doesn’t Give You Strength Or Teach You Lessons About Perseverance. No, Poverty Only Teaches You How To Be Poor.
Perseverance
Giving
Lessons
Non-indian Writers Usually Say "great Spirit," "mother Earth," "two-legged, Four-legged, And Winged." Mixed-blood Writers Usually Say "creator, "mother Earth," "two-legged, Four- Legged, And Winged." Indian Writers Usually Say "god," "mother Earth," "human Being, Dog, And Bird."
Mother
Dog
Honesty
That's Right, I Am A Book Kisser.
Book
It Sucks To Be Poor, And It Sucks To Feel That You Somehow Deserve To Be Poor. You Start Believing That You're Poor Because You're Stupid And Ugly. And Then You Start Believing That You're Stupid And Ugly Because You're Indian. And Because You're Indian You Start Believing You're Destined To Be Poor. It's An Ugly Circle And There's Nothing You Can Do About It.
Stupid
Believe
Circles
I Don’t Want Long Hair, I Don’t Want Short Hair, I Don’t Want Hair At All, And I Don’t Want To Be A Girl Or A Boy. I Want To Be A Yellow And Orange Leaf Some Little Kid Picks Up And Pastes In His Scrapbook.
Girl
Kids
Boys
I Don't Know What Any Individual Should Do About Crossing Her Own Borders. I Only Know That I Live A Happier, More Adventurous Life, By Crossing Borders.
Adventurous Life
Borders
Individual
Everybody Likes To Have A Place To Think, To Meditate, To Eat A Burrito.
Thinking
Funny Food
Burritos
I Love To Scare The Already Terrified Assholes.
Scare
They Put Me In A Holding Cell With A Black Kid And A White Kid And A Chinese Kid. We're The United Nations Of Juvenile Delinquents.
Kids
Cells
White
She Braided My Sister's Hair With Hands That Smelled Deep Roots Buried In The Earth She Told Me The Old Stories How Time Never Mattered When She Died They Gave Me Her Clock
Hair
Hands
Roots
Is God A Man Or A Woman? God Could Be An Armadillo. I Have No Idea.
Men
Ideas
Armadillos
I Write Less About Alcohol, Less And Less And Less. You 're An Addict - So Of Course You Write About The Thing You Love Most. I Loved Alcohol The Most, Loved It More Than Anybody Or Anything. That's What I Wrote About. And It Certainly Accounted For Some Great Writing. But It Accounted For Two Or Three Years Of Good Writing - It Would Never Account For 20 Years Of Good Writing. I Would Have Turned Into Charles Bukowski. He Wrote 10,000 Poems And 10 Of Them Were Great.
Writing
Two
Years
When You're Depressed, You Know, It's Like The World Has Ended. Even Getting Out Of Bed Takes The Most Massive Amount Of Effort. But When You're Manic, Oh, It's So Addicting. You Know, I Have Finished Novels In Two Weeks In Manic Stages.
Two
Effort
Bed
Gordie, The White Boy Genius, Gave Me This Book By A Russian Dude Named Tolstoy, Who Wrote, 'happy Families Are All Alike; Every Unhappy Family Is Unhappy In Its Own Way.' Well, I Hate To Argue With A Russian Genius, But Tolstoy Didn't Know Indians, And He Didn't Know That All Indian Families Are Unhappy For The Same Exact Reasons: The Frikkin' Booze.
Hate
Book
Boys
Imagination Is The Politics Of Dreams; Imagination Turns Every Word Into A Bottle Rocket. . . . Imagine Every Day Is Independence Day And Save Us From Traveling The River Changed; Save Us From Hitchhiking The Long Road Home. Imagine An Escape. Imagine That Your Own Shadow On The Wall Is A Perfect Door. Imagine A Song Stronger Than Penicillin. Imagine A Spring With Water That Mends Broken Bones. Imagine A Drum Which Wraps Itself Around Your Heart. Imagine A Story That Puts Wood In The Fireplace.
Dream
Song
Wall
Somebody Dies And People Eat Your Food. Funny How That Works.
People
Funny Food
Dies
In High School I Dated A White Woman. She Would Come To Visit Me On The Rez. And Her Dad, Who Was Very Racist, Didn't Like That At All. And He Told Her One Time, 'you Shouldn't Go On The Rez If You're White Because Indians Have A Lot Of Anger In Their Heart.'
Dad
Anger
Heart
Pain Is Never Added To Pain. It Multiplies.
Pain
When It Comes To Death, We Know That Laughter And Tears Are Pretty Much The Same Thing. And So, Laughing And Crying, We Said Good-bye To My Grandmother. And When We Said Goodbye To One Grandmother, We Said Good-bye To All Of Them. Each Funeral Was A Funeral For All Of Us. We Lived And Died Together. All Of Us Laughed When They Lowered My Grandmother Into The Ground. And All Of Us Laughed When They Covered Her With Dirt. And All Of Us Laughed As We Walked And Drove And Rode Our Way Back To Our Lonely, Lonely Houses.
Goodbye
Lonely
Laughter
The Dream He Needed Most Was The Dream That Frightened Him More.
Dream
Frightened
Needed
Listen You Have To Read A Book Three Times Before You Know It.
Book
Three
Three Times
In The Middle Of A Crazy And Drunk Life, You Have To Hang Onto The Good And Sober Moments Tightly.
Crazy
Drunk
Sober
I Got Hundreds Of Emails Insulting Me, Accusing Me Of Being Some Caveman. I Am By No Means A Luddite. I Have Two Ipods. I Have A Cell Phone. I Have Cable Tv, Hdtv!
Mean
Ipods
Accusing Me
Life Is A Constant Struggle Between Being An Individual And Being A Member Of The Community.
Struggle
Community
Life Is
Most Of My Heroes Are Just Decent People. Decency Is Rare And Underrated.
Hero
People
Decent
Well, I Think The Worst Part About Tribalism Is Its Tendency To Fundamentalize, And If I Can Fight Fundamentalism In Any Of Its Forms I'm Happy.
Fighting
Thinking
Form
We're All Travelling Heavy With Illusions.
Illusion
Heavy
I Think I Was Born With A Suitcase.
Thinking
Suitcases
Born
We Only Know How To Lose And Be Lost.
Lost
Know How
Knows
I Used To Sleep With My Books In Piles All Over My Bed And Sometimes They Were The Only Thing Keeping Me Warm And Always The Only Thing Keeping Me Alive. Books Are The Best And Worst Defense.
Book
Sleep
Bed
I Realized That I Might Be A Lonely Indian Boy, But I Was Not Alone In The Loneliness. There Were Millions Of Other Americans Who Had Left Their Birthplaces In Search Of A Dream. (217)
Dream
Lonely
Loneliness
Corliss Wondered What Happens To A Book That Sits Unread On A Library Shelf For Thirty Years. Can A Book Rightfully Be Called A Book If It Never Gets Read? If A Tree Falls In A Forest And Gets Pulped To Make Paper For A Book That Never Gets Read, But There's Nobody There To Read It, Does It Make A Sound?
Book
Fall
Reading
These Are Things You Should Learn. Your Past Is A Skeleton Walking One Step Behind You; Your Future Is A Skeleton Walking One Step In Front Of You. Maybe You Don’t Wear A Watch, But Your Skeletons Do, And They Always Know What Time It Is. Now, These Skeletons Are Made Of Memories, Dreams, And Voices. And They Can Trap You In The In-between, Between Touching And Becoming. But They’re Not Necessarily Evil, Unless You Let Them Be.
Dream
Memories
Past
If It's Fiction, Then It Better Be True.
Fiction
Being True
Ifs
I Felt So Conflicted About Having Fled The Rez As A Kid That I Created A Whole Literary Career That Left Me There.
Kids
Careers
Whole
I Think A Lot Of Indians Want Indian Artists To Be Cultural Cheerleaders Rather Than Cultural Investigators.
Artist
Thinking
Want
And Then She Asks Me How Many Sexual Partners I've Had And I Say One Or Two Depending On Your Definition Of What I Did To Custer . . .
Two
Definitions
Partners
Well, As A Native, As A Colonized People You Do Live In The In Between. The Thing Is I'm Native. But Necessarily Because I'm A Member Of The Country, I'm Also A White American.
Country
White
People
When Are We Left-wingers Going To Learn That We Are Losing The Cultural And Political Battle With Conservatives Because We Are Fractured Into Narcissistic Special-interest Groups? Why Should An Antiwar Protestor Be So Concerned About Her Dietary Identity? The Political Opinions Of Vegetarians And Meat-eaters Are, After All, Equally Important. And What Does It Tell Us About Vegetarians That It Would Never Occur To Meat-eaters To Carry A Sign That Reads "pacifist Pork Chop Lover For Peace" Or "backyard Rib Barbecuer For International Nuclear Disarmament"?
Political Opinions
Nuclear Disarmament
Unity
Books And Beer Are The Best And Worst Defense.
Book
Beer
Defense
...there Are Some Children Who Aren't Really Children At All, They're Just Pillars Of Flame That Burn Everything They Touch. And There Are Some Children Who Are Just Pillars Of Ash, That Fall Apart When You Touch Them..." ~ Thomas Builds-the-fire (played By Evan Adams) In Alexie's "smoke Signals
Children
Fall
Fire
It's A Weird Thing. Reservations Were Meant To Be Prisons, You Know? Indians Were Supposed To Move Onto Reservations And Die. We Were Supposed To Disappear. But Somehow Or Another, Indians Have Forgotten The Reservations Were Meant To Be Death Camps.
Moving
Were Meant To Be
Prison
And Then I Realized That My Sister Was Trying To Live A Romance Novel. Man, That Takes Courage And Imagination. Well, It Also Took Some Degree Of Mental Illness, Too, But I Was Suddenly Happy For Her. And A Little Scared. Well, A Lot Scared.
Men
Imagination
Romance
My Father Is An Amazing Man.
Father
Men
Amazing Man
Indians Have No Monopoly On Environmentalism. That's One Of The Great Myths. But We Were Subsistence Livers. They're Two Different Things. Environmentalism Is A Conscious Choice And Subsistence Is The Absence Of Choice. We Had To Use Everything To Survive. And Now That We've Been Assimilated And Colonized And We Have Luxuries And Excesses, We're Just As Wasteful As Other People.
Two
Luxury
People
Nervous Means You Want To Play. Scared Means You Don't Want To Play.
Basketball
Fear
Mean
You Can't Sustain [anger]. You Become Bitter. Nothing's Going To Change. Anger Leads To Resentment, Then To Spiking Your Orange Juice, Then To Martyrdom.
Orange Juice
Resentment
Bitter
Religious Fundamentalists Are Unaware That Freedom Of Religion Necessarily Brings With It The Freedom To Mock Religion.
Religious
Freedom Of Religion
...and Nostalgia Is A Cancer. Nostalgia Will Fill Your Heart Up With Tumors. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, That's What You Are. You're Just An Old Fart Dying Of Terminal Nostalgia.
Cancer
Heart
Dying
The Percentage Of Indian Kids Doing Some Sort Of Artistic Work Is Much Higher Than In The General Population - Painting, Drawing, Dancing, Singing. The Creation Of Art Is Still An Everyday Part Of Indian Culture, Unlike The Dominant Culture, Where Art Is Sort Of Peripheral.
Art
Kids
Drawing
I Had The Feeling I Was Going To Be Successful, And I Didn't Want To Be Another Disappointing Indian.
Successful
Feelings
Want
Let Us Now Celebrate The Literary Allusion.
Celebrate
Allusion
A Lot Of People Have No Idea That Right Now Y.a. (young Adult). Is The Garden Of Eden Of Literature.
Garden
Ideas
Eden
In The Middle Of The Night, When You're Ambiguously Ethnic, Like Me, When You're Brown, Beige, Mauve, Siena, One Of Those Lighter Browns In The Crayola Box. You Have To Be Careful Of The Cops And Robbers, Because Nobody's Quite Sure What You Are, But Everybody Has Assumptions.
Night
Assumption
Cop
[f]rank Knew He Was Guilty Of Arrogance And Misanthropy, But He Compensated By Being Kind To Strangers And Tipping Really Well At Restaurants.
Arrogance
Tipping
Be Kind
It Was So Quiet, A Reservation Kind Of Quiet, Where You Can Hear Somebody Drinking Whiskey On The Rocks Three Miles Away.
Fear
Drinking
Rocks
I'm A Poet Who Can Whine In Meter
Poet
Meter
If You're Good At It, And You Love It, And It Helps You Navigate The River Of The World, Then It Can't Be Wrong.
Rivers
World
Helping
Corliss Had Never Once Considered The Fate Of Library Books. She'd Never Wondered How Many Books Go Unread. She Loved Books. How Could She Not Worry About The Unread? She Felt Like A Disorganized Scholar, An Inconsiderate Lover, An Abusive Mother, And A Cowardly Soldier.
Mother
Book
Fate
I Ain't Interested In The Truth. I'm Interested In The Way Things Should Be.
Way
Should
Read. Read 1000 Pages For Every 1 Page That You Write.
Writing
Pages
The World, Even The Smallest Parts Of It, Is Filled With Things You Don't Know.
World
Filled
Smallest
Sixty Percent Of All Indians Live In Urban Areas, But Nobody's Writing About Them. They're Really An Underrepresented Population, And The Ironic Thing Is Very, Very Few Of Those We Call Native American Writers Actually Grew Up On Reservations, And Yet Most Of Their Work Is About Reservations.
Writing
Native American
Ironic
Trending Author
Maxine Hong Kingston
Niall Ferguson
Gerald R. Ford
John H. Johnson
Andy Grammer
Alan Bennett
Category
Information