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I Found Out When I Did The Oprah Winfrey Show That There Was A Cookie Jar Of Me. So She Gave It To Me. I Had No Idea Prior To That That It Even Existed.

-Carrie Fisher

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I Found Out When

Carrie Fisher

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I Found Out When I Did The Oprah Winfrey Show That There Was A Cookie Jar Of Me. So She Gave It To Me. I Had No Idea Prior To That That It Even Existed.

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Mothers Are Great. They Outlast Everything. But When They're Bad, They're The Worst Thing That Can Happen.

Revenge May Not Be A Particularly High Consciousness-oriented Activity.

I Have A Second Dog, Too, Mainly For Security.

Believe Me, I Didn't Think There Was Some Princely Family I Belonged To.

Guys Are Great Before You Know Who They Are,' Said Lucy. 'they're Great When You're Still With Who They Might Be.

I Think I Do Overshare, And I Sometimes Marvel That I Do It. But It's Sort Of - In A Way, It's My Way Of Trying To Understand Myself.

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I Mean, Most Fun Things Are Bad For You In One Way Or Another.

Everything Grows Rounder And Wider And Weirder, And I Sit Here In The Middle Of It All And Wonder Who In The World You Will Turn Out To Be.

Kevin Smith Is A Very Challenging Conversationalist And Jay Has Many Great Stories.

Tom Hanks Was Really Great [the 'burbs']. The Director, Joe Dante, Was Wonderful. We Filmed It Here During The Summer, Every Day At Universal. Even The Food Was Good - I Mean It Was Junk But It Was Really Good. The Whole Thing Was Like Some Ideal Summer-school Experience. It May Not Have Been The Best Movie Ever, But It Was Certainly The Most Fun.

I Rarely Think About My Childhood. It's A Slippery Thing I Can't Keep Hold Of For Long - It Slithers Out Of My Grasp. And A Lot Of The Time I Remember What Was Missing Instead Of What Was There. I Am A Chronicler Of Absence.

My Extroversion Is A Way Of Managing My Introversion.

Running For Office Is The Least Aerobic Of The Socially Interactive Sports.

I'm In Denial In Its Lesser State. It Will Take Me A Second. People Around Me Will Notice My Mania First. And, My Depression.

If You Look At The Person That Someone Chooses To Have A Relationship With, You'll See What They Think Of Themselves.

Certainly There Are People Who Like Me, But Then There Are Those Who Don't Know Me Who Gossip About Me. You Can't Believe The Things I've Heard.

I Don't Know About Understood. I Think That Unless You Are Forced To Understand - Unless It Is An Issue Of Yours - You Wouldn't Bother To.

My Mother Is An Immensely Powerful Woman.

I'd Like To Wear My Old [cinnamon Buns] Hairstyle Again - But With White Hair. I Think That Would Be Funny.

You Know How I Always Seem To Be Struggling, Even When The Situation Doesn't Call For It?

Mistakes Are A Drag, Because You Get In The Area Of Regret And Self-pity.

Ambition Is Exhausting. It Makes You Friends With People For The Wrong Reasons, Just Like Drugs.

Leia Follows Me Like A Vague Smell.

I Grew Up Knowing That I Had The Prettiest Mother Of Anyone In My Class.

I Like Performing. I Like Partnering With An Audience.

Life Is A Cruel, Horrible Joke And I Am The Punch Line.

I Was Born Imagining Myself With An Apron On, With Pies Cooling On The Window Sill And Babies Crying Upstairs. I Thought That All That Stuff Would Somehow Anchor Me To The Planet, That It Was The Weight I Needed To Keep From Just Flying Off Into Space.

As We All Know, There Is No Underwear In Space.

This Actress Named Lisa Eilbacher. I Was Up For The Part In Shampoo And Friends Of Mine Kept Telling Me She Was Going Around Saying All These Bad Things About Me. It's Like We're Still In The Sixth Grade Sometimes.

Instant Gratification Takes Too Long.

I Had To Shoot Shotguns For The Blues Brothers. But I Don't Like That Stuff. Too Butch For Me.

I'm Very Sane About How Crazy I Am.

Actually, Social Drug-taking Went Kind Of Low-key For A Couple Of Years. Probably Because Of Aids, People Got Very Conscious Of Their Health. But It Seems To Be Making A Comeback. Just The Other Night I Was At A Party Where People Kept Disappearing Into The Bathroom Every Few Minutes. I'm Glad I Did All That In My 20s And That I'm Done With It. And That I Wrote About It In Postcards From The Edge.

Of Course I Miss [drugs]. And Anyone Who Tells You They Don't Is Lying.

I Like The Community Of Acting Better Than The Prison Of Writing. I Like Sets.

All I Can Say Is That When Millions Of Plastic Dolls Of You Are Being Sold Each Day And An Equal Number Of Teenage Boys Are Masturbating Over You Each Night, It's Bound To Do Something Screwy To Your Psyche.

I Always Think Of Meryl [streep] For Everything Now. There Really Aren't Many Actresses Around Who Are Truly Lucid The Way She Is.

Meryl [streep] Plays The Me-ish Character. I Love Meryl. She's Totally Wonderful.

There Are Women In Makeup And Hair And Wardrobe, But Not In Camera, Not In Sound, You Know, And Not In Special Effects. It's All Men.

My Father Was A Joyous, Joyous Spirit, He Really Was. He Was A Hedonist, That Was Just - He Enjoyed Life, Thrust Up To The Elbows With It. He Was A Terrible Father. I Don't Know That He Was Parented That Well.

I Was Into Pain Reduction And Mind Expansion, But What I've Ended Up With Is Pain Expansion And Mind Reduction.

There Is No Point At Which You Can Say, "well, I'm Successful Now. I Might As Well Take A Nap."

I Mean, For Years [my Father] Would Been Doing Everything Imaginable ... From Speed To Downers To You Name It. I Used To Call That "changing Seats On The Titanic," And I Used To Say That I Myself Was Not Only Changing Seats On The Titanic But Dating The Crew.

If Talking Were Aerobic, I'd Be The Thinnest Person In The World.

I've Never Been That Uncomfortable Talking About It. Things Come Out [in The Media] About Me. When It's Out, It's Someone Else's Version Of What's The Matter With Me. I Want It To Be My Version Of What It Is. My Recourse Is To Do My Version.

I Love The Idea Of God, But It's Not Stylistically In Keeping With The Way I Function. I Would Describe Myself As An Enthusiastic Agnostic Who Would Be Happy To Be Shown That There Is A God. I Can See That People Who Believe In God Are Happier. ... But I Doubt.

I Think Of My Body As A Side Effect Of My Mind. Like A Thought I Had Once That Manifested Itself-- Oops! Oh No! Manifested. Look At This. Now We Have To Buy Clothes And Everything.

The Only One Who Didn't Know Was George Lucas. We Kept It From Him, Because We Wanted To See What His Face Looked Like When It Changed Expression--and He Fooled Us Even Then. He Got Industrial Light And Magic To Change His Facial Expressions For Him And Thx Sound To Make The Noise Of A Face-changing Expression.

Celebrity Is Just Obscurity Biding Its Time.

People Are Still Asking Me If I Knew Star Wars Was Going To Be That Big Of A Hit. Yes, We All Knew. The Only One Who Didn't Know Was George.

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I Don't Really Understand It - Marriage.

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Nobody Wants To Read About A Good-looking Happy Person.

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I Have A Chemical Imbalance That, In Its Most Extreme State, Will Lead Me To A Mental Hospital.

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You Know The Bad Thing About Being A Survivor... You Keep Having To Get Into Difficult Situations In Order To Show Off Your Gift.

Difficult Situations

I Can Like Men Who Are A Little Light In The Loafers.

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I Was Born Into Big Celebrity. It Could Only Diminish.

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Oh! This'll Impress You - I'm Actually In The Abnormal Psychology Textbook. Obviously My Family Is So Proud. Keep In Mind Though, I'm A Pez Dispenser And I'm In The Abnormal Psychology Textbook. Who Says You Can't Have It All?

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My Mom Had The Breakdown For The Family, And I Went Into Therapy For All Of Us.

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[when Harry Met Sally] Was Fine, But It Was A Job. And I Did It Right After The 'burbs.

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I Quote Fictional Characters, Because I'm A Fictional Character Myself!

Fictional Character

I Like Birds And Dogs. I'm Allergic To Cats.

I Was Telling Some People In My Dressing Room Some Of My Other Stories, My Psychotic Break, And Blah, Blah, Blah, And No, They Kind Of Look At You And It's Just Not What They Wanted To Hear.

You Know How They Say That Religion Is The Opiate Of The Masses? Well I Took Masses Of Opiates Religiously.

I Did The Traditional Thing With Falling In Love With Words, Reading Books And Underlining Lines I Liked And Words I Didn't Know. It Was Something I Always Did.

Falling In Love

My Heart's In The Right Place. I Know, 'cuz I Hid It There.

Funny Valentines Day

I Think That The Truth Is A Really Stern Taskmistress.

People See Me And They Squeal Like Tropical Birds Or Seals Stranded On The Beach.

I'll Never Be Known For My Work With Boundaries.

If You're Manic-depressive And You're Functioning In This World And Doing It All Well, I Think, Wow, You Should Be Proud Of Being Able To Say, This Is What I'm Getting Through Right Now.

Good Anecdote--bad Reality.

My Mother Certainly Loves Caviar, But I Think That's Generational - They Grew Up Thinking It's Romantic Or Sophisticated Or Something.

The Parrots Are Great. They Do Something I Refer To As "the Phone Call From Venus." They Repeat All My Phone Conversations. It Can Very Annoying - Like Having A Lot Of Children In The House Screaming.

I Don't Think Christmas Is Necessarily About Things. It's About Being Good To One Another, It's About The Christian Ethic, It's About Kindness.

We Live In America,' He Said. 'everyone Who Speaks English Understands You. How They Interpret You Is Something Else.

Anything You Can Do In Excess For The Wrong Reasons Is Exciting To Me.

I've Never Met A Deadline I Couldn't Miss. I Make Sure My Editors Know This.

I'm The Wife Spike Lee Deserves. A White Woman, Which He Says He Would Never Be With, So Let's Get Someone Really White. I Am Spike Lee's Wife From Hell. I'm White And Weird And I Won't Pay Enough Attention To Him. If He Does Any More Of Those Angry Interviews, I'm Going To Write Him And See If He Wants The Wife He Deserves.

I Never Really Saw [my Father] At All When I Was Growing Up.

Until Adolescence I Thought I Had The Best Mother In The World. Such A Graceful Mother. I Had This Fantasy That I Was The Wrong Daughter.

My Mom Is A Little Bit Eccentric. I Mean, She Does - She Has A Lot Of Unique Ideas. For Example, She Thought That I Should Have A Child With Her Last Husband, Richard, Because It Would Have Nice Eyes.

What Doesn't Kill Men Makes Them Stronger. What Doesn't Kill Women Makes Men Breakfast.

Now It's Dedicated To My Grandparents And To Both Of My Parents. The First Book Was Dedicated To My Mother So I Thought Maybe It Was My Father's Turn, But Then I Realized That Everyone Would Jump On That And Assume I'd Had Some Falling Out With My Mother, Which Is Absolutely Not The Case.

Resentment Is Like Drinking Poison And Waiting For The Other Person To Die.

I Still Give My Friends Relationship Advice, Of Course, And I'm Not Bad At It. 'anyone's Crisis But Mine' Is My Motto.

And When You're Young You Want To Fit In. Hell, I Still Want To Fit In With Certain Humans, But As You Get Older You Get A Little More Discriminating.

I Am Mentally Ill. I Can Say That. I Am Not Ashamed Of That. I Survived That, I'm Still Surviving It, But Bring It On. Better Me Than You.

I Think Of My Body As A Side Effect Of My Mind.

I Don't Like My Face. I Don't Like To Look At It.

I Envy People Who Have The Capacity To Sit With Another Human Being And Find Them Endlessly Interesting, I Would Rather Watch Tv. Of Course This Becomes Eventually Known To The Other Person.

You're Only As Sick As Your Secrets. Either It Comes Out Their Way Or My Way. I Talk About Myself Behind My Back. And I'm Funny About It.

I Don't Want To Be A Victim.

It Creates Community When You Talk About Private Things And You Can Find Other People That Have The Same Things.

I Get Lots Of Awards For Being Mentally Ill. Apparently, I Am Better At Being Mentally Ill Than Almost Anything Else I've Ever Done. Seriously - I Have A Shelf Of Awards For Being Bipolar.

Still, The Word "boyfriend" Starts To Sound Pathetic After Age 30.

I Am A Spy In The House Of Me. I Report Back From The Front Lines Of The Battle That Is Me. I Am Somewhat Nonplused By The Event That Is My Life.

You Have To Constantly Arrange Yourself Around Them, And That Can Take Up A Lot Of Energy. I Mean, You Don't Go, "why Don't You Cook Dinner Tonight, Dear, For A Change, Instead Of Writing A Great Song?" I Loved What [paul Simon] Did With Words. But I Wanted To Do Some More Of That, Too.

I Am Not Going To Put My Daughter Under Any Sort Of Stresses.

The Message About Sex And Relationships That She Had Gotten As A Child... Was Confused, Contradictory. Sex Was For Men, And Marriage, Like Lifeboats, Was For Women And Children.

My Mother Is An Extraordinary Woman, Extraordinary.

My Favorite Films Are Ones That Have My Lines In It, And I Like Those Lines. And I Like To Hear Them.

Actors May Know How To Act, But A Lot Of Them Don't Know How To Behave.

If Some Gang Were Threatening Your Family, You'd Go Looking For Someone Butch To Help, Right? Any Maybe If Your Mother Were Sick Or Something, You'd Find Someone A Bit More Fey.

There Are Two Things That I Know For Certain Guys Are Good For: Pushing Swings And Killing Insects.

[my Grandparents] Were From Texas. El Paso. White Trash.

All My Life I've Been Seeing Things Through The Culture. My Father, For Instance, Was The Press's Bad Boy. People Really Hated Him. He Was Always A Big Flirt. He Was Always In Trouble - Going Bankrupt, Whatever.

One Of The Great Things To Pretend Is That You're Not Only Alright, You're In Great Shape. Now To Have That Come True - I've Actually Gone On Stage Depressed And That's Worked Its Magic On Me, 'cause If I Can Convince You That I'm Alright, Then Maybe I Can Convince Me.

I Got The Part [in The Shampoo]. But It Was This Very Unpleasantly Rivalry Tug.

Look,' He Said, 'i Don't Think We Should Continue This Discussion. I Don't Like This Side Of You.' 'i'm Not A Box,' She Said 'i Don't Have Sides. This Is It. One Side Fits All. This Is It.

Eventually, Life Of The Party Is Just Like Any Other Job. I've Thought Of Myself That Way At Times, But It's Sort Of Like Holding Everybody Hostage. It Diminishes Everyone Else. And Ultimately, Your Friends Don't Require It Of You.

You're Not Surprised When Alcoholics Act Like Alcoholics. It's More Surprising When Non-alcoholics Start Acting Like Alcoholics.

I Don't Want To Be Caught ... Ashamed Of Anything. And Because Generally Someone Who Has Bipolar Doesn't Have Just Bipolar, They Have Bipolar, And They Have A Life And A Job And A Kid And A Hat And Parents, So Its Not Your Overriding Identity, It's Just Something That You Have, But Not The Only Thing - Even If It's Quite A Big Thing.

Bipolar Disorder Can Be A Great Teacher. It's A Challenge, But It Can Set You Up To Be Able To Do Almost Anything Else In Your Life.

I Guess, As They Say, I Never Acquired A Taste For [caviar].

You Can't Find Any True Closeness In Hollywood, Because Everybody Does The Fake Closeness So Well.

I Like That - The "you-ish" Character.

I Enjoy Taking Jobs That Make Fun Of Me - Or Me As Princess Leia, Or Me As The Writer, Or Whatever, As Some Idea.

I Must Say I Can Appreciate It When Males Are Very Male. Like Harrison [ford], For Instance. He's Pretty Butch. I Guess I Prefer Butch To Terribly Fey.

I Went To A Doctor And Told Him I Felt Normal On Acid, That I Was A Light Bulb In A World Of Moths. That Is What The Manic State Is Like.

I Wanted To Be, You Know, Just No Different Than Anybody Else.

I Went To Drama College In England - The Central School Of Speech And Drama, In London. I Was There For Not Quite Two Years, Then I Got Star Wars.

I Don't Think 50-50 Relationships Exist. Men Have An Incredibly Variety Of Options. It's Much Harder For A Woman To Do Both Things. I Think Traditional Relationships Work Best.

Come To Think Of [a Handsome Young Carpenter], Harrison Ford Used To Be A Carpenter.

I'm Really Grateful That I Could Write. But I Don't Even Mind It Going On Around Me.

Sex Was For Men. Marriage, Like Lifeboats, Was For Women And Children.

As You Get Older, The Pickings Get Slimmer, But The People Don't.

No Motive Is Pure. No One Is Good Or Bad-but A Hearty Mix Of Both. And Sometimes Life Actually Gives To You By Taking Away.

I Rarely Cry. I Save My Feelings Up Inside Me Like I Have Something More Specific In Mind For Them. I Am Waiting For The Exact Perfect Situationand Then Boom! I'll Explode In A Light Show Of Feeling And Emotion - A Pinata Stuffed With Tender Nuances And Pent-up Passions

I Used To Want To Gamble, Too, Until I Was 20 And Could Actually Go To A Casino. Then I Wasn't So Crazy About The Attitude.

What Worries Me Is, What If This Guy Is Really The One For Me And I Just Haven't Had Enough Therapy Yet For Me To Be Comfortable With Having Found Him.

He Doesn't Move His Face When He Talks. His Eyes Are Like Shark Eyes. Dead.

I Don't Do Acid Anymore, So I Travel Instead.

Saying You're An Alcoholic And An Addict Is Like Saying You're From Los Angeles And From California.

I Don't Want To Be Thought Of As A Survivor Because You Have To Continue Getting Involved In Difficult Situations To Show Off That Particular Gift, And I'm Not Interested In Doing That Anymore.

Difficult Situations

Sid Said That Drugs Weren't The Problem, Life Was The Problem. Drugs Were The Solution.

A Lot Of People Have Told Me, You Know, That What I've Written About, They Identify With Strongly.

I Have A Mess In My Head Sometimes, And There's Something Very Satisfying About Putting It Into Words. Certainly It's Not Something That You're In Charge Of, Necessarily, But Writing About It, Putting It Into Your Words, Can Be A Very Powerful Experience.

I Guess I Could Debra Winger In Any Number Of Things. She's So Luminous - It's A Birth Defect.

I Spent A Year In A 12-step Program, Really Committed, Because I Could Not Believe What Had Happened - That I Might Have Killed Myself.

I Am Someone Who Will Rise To An Occasion Like That. Other Occasions Can Defeat Me.

A Lot Of The Time, I'm Just Smart Enough To Be Unhappy.

It's Very Good To Get Through Them (drugs) While You're Still Young And Then Talk About How Great Or Bad It Was For The Rest Of Your Life.

Rest Of Your Life

No, As It Turns Out, I Really Like Being Congratulated On My Weight Loss. I Like It So Much, It's Tragic.

I Have The Ability, Occasionally, Of Being Able To Step Out And See Who You Think I Could End Up Being. And I Like To Play With That.

There Are Very Few Women From My Mother's Generation Who Worked Like That, Who Just Kept A Career Going All Her Life And Raised Children And Had Horrible Relationships And Lost All Her Money And Got It Back Again.

I Found Out When I Did The Oprah Winfrey Show That There Was A Cookie Jar Of Me. So She Gave It To Me. I Had No Idea Prior To That That It Even Existed.

I Hate Caviar. Ugh! The Freebase Of Food!

I Was Street Smart, But Unfortunately The Street Was Rodeo Drive.

The Only Thing Worse Than Being Hurt Is Everyone Knowing That You're Hurt.

Now I Say I'm A Diarist With An Explanation I'll Get Back To You On. Someday I May Try And Write In Memoir Form.

I Guess High Verbal Skills Are Highest In My List Of Necessary Qualifications For A Man - For Anyone Actually. I Like To Talk. And I Don't Necessarily Move Far, But I Move Fast.

Two Of The Saddest Words In The English Language Are, 'what Party?' And La Is The 'what Party?' Capital Of The World.

I Say More Power To [madonna], Though I Don't Know How Much More Power Is Out There.

I Shot Through My Twenties Like A Luminous Thread Through A Dark Needle, Blazing Toward My Destination: Nowhere.

As A Matter Of Fact [my Mother] Is Very Happily Married. To A Very Nice Southern Gentleman Named Roanoke - Her First Non-jewish Husband, As She Likes To Say.

My Father Just Got Out Of The Betty Ford Clinic. He's In His 60s, And This Was The First Time He Ever Did Anything Like That.

You Can't Really Accurately Diagnose Someone, I Think. Or I've Been Told That.

Part Of My Gestalt Is That I Still Feel A Little Bit Like A Wallflower. Even In My Own Life. I Talk About Myself Behind My Back.

Here's How Men Think. Sex, Work - And Those Are Reversible, Depending On Age - Sex, Work, Food, Sports And Lastly, Begrudgingly, Relationships. And Here's How Women Think. Relationships, Relationships, Relationships, Work, Sex, Shopping, Weight, Food.

Never Love For Me, Only Obsession.

Finding The Cutest Guy In A.a. Is Like Finding The Cutest Loony In The Bin.

I Guess I Do Carry A Bit Of Male Energy. It's Like What I Always Say - Two Yangs Don't Make A Right.

My Mother's Career Was Over At 40 But She Was Still Trying To Be Everyone's Buddy, Always Smiling For The Cameras.

I Used To Refer To My Drug Use As Putting The Monster In The Box. I Wanted To Be Less, So I Took More - Simple As That. Anyway, I Eventually Decided That The Reason Dr. Stone Had Told Me I Was Hypomanic Was That He Wanted To Put Me On Medication Instead Of Actually Treating Me. So I Did The Only Rational Thing I Could Do In The Face Of Such As Insult - I Stopped Talking To Stone, Flew Back To New York, And Married Paul Simon A Week Later.

I Always Felt The Jewish Part More. In Fact, Growing Up I Felt Like A Jew Among Wasps. My Brother Is More Decidedly Waspy.

I've Got To Stop Getting Obsessed With Human Beings And Fall In Love With A Chair. Chairs Have Everything Human Beings Have To Offer, And Less, Which Is Obviously What I Need. Less Emotional Feedback, Less Warmth, Less Approval, Less Patience And Less Response. The Less The Merrier. Chairs It Is. I Must Furnish My Heart With Feelings For Furniture.

Falling In Love

I Like Having Written Better Than I Like Having Acted.

He's A Very Strange Guy, My Father. I Can't Get Mad At Him Because He's So Adorable.

I Have Two Moods. One Is Roy, Rollicking Roy, The Wild Ride Of A Mood. And Pam, Sediment Pam, Who Stands On The Shore And Sobs... Sometimes The Tide Is In, Sometimes It's Out.

I Just Admire My Mother Very Much.

The World Of Manic Depression Is A World Of Bad Judgment Calls.

Manic Depression

I Will Usually Be In Denial About That, Too, Because I Really Don't Like That. Sometimes I Will Recognize It And Sometimes Someone Will Say, "are You Okay?" And Then You Think, "oh, Maybe I'm Not."

My Life Is Like A Lone, Forgotten Q-tip In The Second-to-last Drawer.

Drugs Made Me Feel More Normal.

If My Life Wasn't Funny It Would Just Be True, And That Is Unacceptable.

I Do Believe You're Only As Sick As Your Secrets.

The Older You Get, The Easier It Is To Spot The Phonies. And I Just Think, How Unpleasant For Them.

I Feel So Agitated All The Time, Like A Hamster In Search Of A Wheel.

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