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Now It's Dedicated To My Grandparents And To Both Of My Parents. The First Book Was Dedicated To My Mother So I Thought Maybe It Was My Father's Turn, But Then I Realized That Everyone Would Jump On That And Assume I'd Had Some Falling Out With My Mother, Which Is Absolutely Not The Case.

-Carrie Fisher

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Now It's Dedicated To

Carrie Fisher

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Now It's Dedicated To My Grandparents And To Both Of My Parents. The First Book Was Dedicated To My Mother So I Thought Maybe It Was My Father's Turn, But Then I Realized That Everyone Would Jump On That And Assume I'd Had Some Falling Out With My Mother, Which Is Absolutely Not The Case.

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My Favorite Films Are Ones That Have My Lines In It, And I Like Those Lines. And I Like To Hear Them.

I Am Someone Who Will Rise To An Occasion Like That. Other Occasions Can Defeat Me.

My Extroversion Is A Way Of Managing My Introversion.

Anything You Can Do In Excess For The Wrong Reasons Is Exciting To Me.

Actors May Know How To Act, But A Lot Of Them Don't Know How To Behave.

I Rarely Think About My Childhood. It's A Slippery Thing I Can't Keep Hold Of For Long - It Slithers Out Of My Grasp. And A Lot Of The Time I Remember What Was Missing Instead Of What Was There. I Am A Chronicler Of Absence.

If Talking Were Aerobic, I'd Be The Thinnest Person In The World.

The Only Thing Worse Than Being Hurt Is Everyone Knowing That You're Hurt.

I Like Performing. I Like Partnering With An Audience.

There Are Two Things That I Know For Certain Guys Are Good For: Pushing Swings And Killing Insects.

My Mother Certainly Loves Caviar, But I Think That's Generational - They Grew Up Thinking It's Romantic Or Sophisticated Or Something.

I Don't Like My Face. I Don't Like To Look At It.

Instant Gratification Takes Too Long.

I Don't Want To Be A Victim.

Females Get Hired Along Procreative Lines. After 40, We're Kind Of Cooked.

I Guess High Verbal Skills Are Highest In My List Of Necessary Qualifications For A Man - For Anyone Actually. I Like To Talk. And I Don't Necessarily Move Far, But I Move Fast.

I Grew Up Knowing That I Had The Prettiest Mother Of Anyone In My Class.

You Know How Most Illnesses Have Symptoms You Can Recognize? Like Fever, Upset Stomach, Chills, Whatever. Well, With Manic Depression, It's Sexual Promiscuity, Excessive Spending, And Substance Abuse - And That Just Sounds Like A Fantastic Weekend In Vegas To Me!

Believe Me, I Didn't Think There Was Some Princely Family I Belonged To.

I Had To Shoot Shotguns For The Blues Brothers. But I Don't Like That Stuff. Too Butch For Me.

Happy Is One Of The Many Things I'm Likely To Be Over The Course Of A Day And Certainly Over The Course Of A Lifetime. But I Think If You Have The Expectation That You're Going To Be Happy Throughout Your Life--more To The Point, If You Have A Need To Be Comfortable All The Time--well, Among Other Things, You Have The Makings Of A Classic Drug Addict Or Alcoholic.

My Mom Is A Little Bit Eccentric. I Mean, She Does - She Has A Lot Of Unique Ideas. For Example, She Thought That I Should Have A Child With Her Last Husband, Richard, Because It Would Have Nice Eyes.

I Really Love The Internet. They Say Chat-rooms Are The Trailer Park Of The Internet But I Find It Amazing.

I Am A Very Discreet Human When It Comes To Other People.

I Have A Second Dog, Too, Mainly For Security.

I Don't Do Acid Anymore, So I Travel Instead.

I Was Born On October 21, 1956 In Burbank, California. My Father, Eddie Fisher, Was A Famous Singer. My Mother, Debbie Reynolds, Was A Movie Star. Her Best-known Role Was In 'singin' In The Rain.'

I Feel So Agitated All The Time, Like A Hamster In Search Of A Wheel.

I Like Having Written Better Than I Like Having Acted.

My Father Was A Joyous, Joyous Spirit, He Really Was. He Was A Hedonist, That Was Just - He Enjoyed Life, Thrust Up To The Elbows With It. He Was A Terrible Father. I Don't Know That He Was Parented That Well.

Everything Grows Rounder And Wider And Weirder, And I Sit Here In The Middle Of It All And Wonder Who In The World You Will Turn Out To Be.

My Life Is Like A Lone, Forgotten Q-tip In The Second-to-last Drawer.

I Wanted To Be, You Know, Just No Different Than Anybody Else.

I Like Birds And Dogs. I'm Allergic To Cats.

It's Very Good To Get Through Them (drugs) While You're Still Young And Then Talk About How Great Or Bad It Was For The Rest Of Your Life.

Rest Of Your Life

There's No Room For Demons When You're Self-possessed.

A Lot Of People Have Told Me, You Know, That What I've Written About, They Identify With Strongly.

I've Got To Stop Getting Obsessed With Human Beings And Fall In Love With A Chair. Chairs Have Everything Human Beings Have To Offer, And Less, Which Is Obviously What I Need. Less Emotional Feedback, Less Warmth, Less Approval, Less Patience And Less Response. The Less The Merrier. Chairs It Is. I Must Furnish My Heart With Feelings For Furniture.

Falling In Love

I Guess I Do Carry A Bit Of Male Energy. It's Like What I Always Say - Two Yangs Don't Make A Right.

All I Can Say Is That When Millions Of Plastic Dolls Of You Are Being Sold Each Day And An Equal Number Of Teenage Boys Are Masturbating Over You Each Night, It's Bound To Do Something Screwy To Your Psyche.

I Don't Want To Be Caught ... Ashamed Of Anything. And Because Generally Someone Who Has Bipolar Doesn't Have Just Bipolar, They Have Bipolar, And They Have A Life And A Job And A Kid And A Hat And Parents, So Its Not Your Overriding Identity, It's Just Something That You Have, But Not The Only Thing - Even If It's Quite A Big Thing.

I Am Not Going To Put My Daughter Under Any Sort Of Stresses.

If You Look At The Person That Someone Chooses To Have A Relationship With, You'll See What They Think Of Themselves.

You Can't Really Accurately Diagnose Someone, I Think. Or I've Been Told That.

Then I Overdosed At 28, At Which Point I Began To Accept The Bipolar Diagnosis.

We Live In America,' He Said. 'everyone Who Speaks English Understands You. How They Interpret You Is Something Else.

I Always Think Of Meryl [streep] For Everything Now. There Really Aren't Many Actresses Around Who Are Truly Lucid The Way She Is.

And When You're Young You Want To Fit In. Hell, I Still Want To Fit In With Certain Humans, But As You Get Older You Get A Little More Discriminating.

The Message About Sex And Relationships That She Had Gotten As A Child... Was Confused, Contradictory. Sex Was For Men, And Marriage, Like Lifeboats, Was For Women And Children.

I Used To Want To Gamble, Too, Until I Was 20 And Could Actually Go To A Casino. Then I Wasn't So Crazy About The Attitude.

I'd Like To Wear My Old [cinnamon Buns] Hairstyle Again - But With White Hair. I Think That Would Be Funny.

Come To Think Of [a Handsome Young Carpenter], Harrison Ford Used To Be A Carpenter.

I Didn't Confide In Men. Well, I Didn't Confide In Anyone.

Certainly There Are People Who Like Me, But Then There Are Those Who Don't Know Me Who Gossip About Me. You Can't Believe The Things I've Heard.

Eventually, Life Of The Party Is Just Like Any Other Job. I've Thought Of Myself That Way At Times, But It's Sort Of Like Holding Everybody Hostage. It Diminishes Everyone Else. And Ultimately, Your Friends Don't Require It Of You.

I Did The Traditional Thing With Falling In Love With Words, Reading Books And Underlining Lines I Liked And Words I Didn't Know. It Was Something I Always Did.

Falling In Love

Everything Is Negotiable. Whether Or Not The Negotiation Is Easy Is Another Thing.

Waiting, Done At Really High Speeds, Will Frequently Look Like Something Else.

Drugs Made Me Feel More Normal.

I Love The Idea Of God, But It's Not Stylistically In Keeping With The Way I Function. I Would Describe Myself As An Enthusiastic Agnostic Who Would Be Happy To Be Shown That There Is A God. I Can See That People Who Believe In God Are Happier. ... But I Doubt.

I Have A Mess In My Head Sometimes, And There's Something Very Satisfying About Putting It Into Words. Certainly It's Not Something That You're In Charge Of, Necessarily, But Writing About It, Putting It Into Your Words, Can Be A Very Powerful Experience.

I Think Of My Body As A Side Effect Of My Mind. Like A Thought I Had Once That Manifested Itself-- Oops! Oh No! Manifested. Look At This. Now We Have To Buy Clothes And Everything.

People See Me And They Squeal Like Tropical Birds Or Seals Stranded On The Beach.

In My Opinion, A Problem Derails Your Life And An Inconvenience Is Not Being Able To Get A Nice Seat On The Un-derailed Train.

I Like The Community Of Acting Better Than The Prison Of Writing. I Like Sets.

I Went To A Doctor And Told Him I Felt Normal On Acid, That I Was A Light Bulb In A World Of Moths. That Is What The Manic State Is Like.

I Did Google Myself Recentle - Without Lubricant. I Don't Recommend It.

My Mother Had An Amazing Life, And She's Someone To Admire.

I Was Street Smart, But Unfortunately The Street Was Rodeo Drive.

Mothers Are Great. They Outlast Everything. But When They're Bad, They're The Worst Thing That Can Happen.

I Am A Spy In The House Of Me. I Report Back From The Front Lines Of The Battle That Is Me. I Am Somewhat Nonplused By The Event That Is My Life.

Meg Ryan Was Nice [ In When Harry Met Sally] ... The Writing Was Good ... But It Was Really Kind Of A Boy's Club, I Mean, There Was Bruno Kirby, Rob Reiner, Billy Crystal - Talk About Your Testosterone Trio!

There Are Women In Makeup And Hair And Wardrobe, But Not In Camera, Not In Sound, You Know, And Not In Special Effects. It's All Men.

As A Matter Of Fact [my Mother] Is Very Happily Married. To A Very Nice Southern Gentleman Named Roanoke - Her First Non-jewish Husband, As She Likes To Say.

I Went To Drama College In England - The Central School Of Speech And Drama, In London. I Was There For Not Quite Two Years, Then I Got Star Wars.

Tom Hanks Was Really Great [the 'burbs']. The Director, Joe Dante, Was Wonderful. We Filmed It Here During The Summer, Every Day At Universal. Even The Food Was Good - I Mean It Was Junk But It Was Really Good. The Whole Thing Was Like Some Ideal Summer-school Experience. It May Not Have Been The Best Movie Ever, But It Was Certainly The Most Fun.

All My Life I've Been Seeing Things Through The Culture. My Father, For Instance, Was The Press's Bad Boy. People Really Hated Him. He Was Always A Big Flirt. He Was Always In Trouble - Going Bankrupt, Whatever.

I Shot Through My Twenties Like A Luminous Thread Through A Dark Needle, Blazing Toward My Destination: Nowhere.

Nobody Wants To Read About A Good-looking Happy Person.

I Get Lots Of Awards For Being Mentally Ill. Apparently, I Am Better At Being Mentally Ill Than Almost Anything Else I've Ever Done. Seriously - I Have A Shelf Of Awards For Being Bipolar.

Bipolar Disorder Can Be A Great Teacher. It's A Challenge, But It Can Set You Up To Be Able To Do Almost Anything Else In Your Life.

You Have To Constantly Arrange Yourself Around Them, And That Can Take Up A Lot Of Energy. I Mean, You Don't Go, "why Don't You Cook Dinner Tonight, Dear, For A Change, Instead Of Writing A Great Song?" I Loved What [paul Simon] Did With Words. But I Wanted To Do Some More Of That, Too.

Sid Said That Drugs Weren't The Problem, Life Was The Problem. Drugs Were The Solution.

I've Never Met A Deadline I Couldn't Miss. I Make Sure My Editors Know This.

I Just Admire My Mother Very Much.

Sex Was For Men. Marriage, Like Lifeboats, Was For Women And Children.

I Envy People Who Have The Capacity To Sit With Another Human Being And Find Them Endlessly Interesting, I Would Rather Watch Tv. Of Course This Becomes Eventually Known To The Other Person.

Two Of The Saddest Words In The English Language Are, 'what Party?' And La Is The 'what Party?' Capital Of The World.

Resentment Is Like Drinking Poison And Waiting For The Other Person To Die.

I Probably Have More Male Friends That Talk About Us In A Way That Doesn't Thrill Me. I Sometimes Get A Bit Surprised When Females Talk Like That Around Men.

I Think That Now Most People Know Someone In Their Family That Is Coping With Something, But There Is Still A Tremendous Amount Of Shame - That One Is Still Regarded As A Defective Unit ... If Only They Would Pull Up Their Bootstraps - They Are Only Indulging Their Emotions, Everybody's Moody, Blah, Blah, Blah.

I Must Say I Can Appreciate It When Males Are Very Male. Like Harrison [ford], For Instance. He's Pretty Butch. I Guess I Prefer Butch To Terribly Fey.

I Mean, Most Fun Things Are Bad For You In One Way Or Another.

Until Adolescence I Thought I Had The Best Mother In The World. Such A Graceful Mother. I Had This Fantasy That I Was The Wrong Daughter.

I Spent A Year In A 12-step Program, Really Committed, Because I Could Not Believe What Had Happened - That I Might Have Killed Myself.

I Like That - The "you-ish" Character.

Actually, Social Drug-taking Went Kind Of Low-key For A Couple Of Years. Probably Because Of Aids, People Got Very Conscious Of Their Health. But It Seems To Be Making A Comeback. Just The Other Night I Was At A Party Where People Kept Disappearing Into The Bathroom Every Few Minutes. I'm Glad I Did All That In My 20s And That I'm Done With It. And That I Wrote About It In Postcards From The Edge.

[i Was Filmed] Against A Blue Screen [in The Star Wars]. All The Rest Came Later, In Lucasland. They Did Have Me Take Gun Lessons, Though. I Went To The Same Guys Who Taught Robert De Niro For Taxi Driver.

My Mother Is An Extraordinary Woman, Extraordinary.

For Star Wars, They Had Me Tape Down My Breasts Because There Are No Breasts In Space. I Have Some. I Have Two.

I Was Into Pain Reduction And Mind Expansion, But What I've Ended Up With Is Pain Expansion And Mind Reduction.

Mania Starts Off Fun, Not Sleeping For Days, Keeping Company With Your Brain, Which Has Become A Wonderful Computer, Showing 24 Tv Channels All About You. That Goes Horribly Wrong After Awhile.

As We All Know, There Is No Underwear In Space.

It Creates Community When You Talk About Private Things And You Can Find Other People That Have The Same Things. Otherwise, I Don't Know, I Felt Very Lonely With Some Of The Issues That I Had Or History That I Had. And When I Shared About It, I Found That Others Had It, Too.

My Inner World Seems Largely To Consist Of Three Rotating Emotions: Embarrassment, Rage, And Tension. Sometimes I Feel Excited, But I Think That's Just Positive Tension.

My Heart's In The Right Place. I Know, 'cuz I Hid It There.

Funny Valentines Day

I Think That The Truth Is A Really Stern Taskmistress.

When My Brother, Todd [fisher], Was Born My Father Was Already With Elizabeth [taylor]. I Was 19 Or 20 When I First Spent A Block Of Time With Him.

I Don't Know About Understood. I Think That Unless You Are Forced To Understand - Unless It Is An Issue Of Yours - You Wouldn't Bother To.

My Mom Had The Breakdown For The Family, And I Went Into Therapy For All Of Us.

Having Waited My Entire Life To Get An Award For Something, Anything...i Now Get Awards All The Time For Being Mentally Ill. It’s Better Than Being Bad At Being Insane, Right? How Tragic Would It Be To Be Runner-up For Bipolar Woman Of The Year?

What Doesn't Kill Men Makes Them Stronger. What Doesn't Kill Women Makes Men Breakfast.

Guys Are Great Before You Know Who They Are,' Said Lucy. 'they're Great When You're Still With Who They Might Be.

I Can Like Men Who Are A Little Light In The Loafers.

Revenge May Not Be A Particularly High Consciousness-oriented Activity.

The Older You Get, The Easier It Is To Spot The Phonies. And I Just Think, How Unpleasant For Them.

I Would Rather Not Watch Myself In Movies. I Enjoy The Experience, But I Won't Really See The Film Until They're On Cable Deep On Into My Life So I Can Pretend It's Someone Else At Another Time.

If You're Manic-depressive And You're Functioning In This World And Doing It All Well, I Think, Wow, You Should Be Proud Of Being Able To Say, This Is What I'm Getting Through Right Now.

I Have Two Moods. One Is Roy, Rollicking Roy, The Wild Ride Of A Mood. And Pam, Sediment Pam, Who Stands On The Shore And Sobs... Sometimes The Tide Is In, Sometimes It's Out.

I Think Of My Body As A Side Effect Of My Mind.

I Enjoy Taking Jobs That Make Fun Of Me - Or Me As Princess Leia, Or Me As The Writer, Or Whatever, As Some Idea.

Running For Office Is The Least Aerobic Of The Socially Interactive Sports.

My Father Just Got Out Of The Betty Ford Clinic. He's In His 60s, And This Was The First Time He Ever Did Anything Like That.

I Was Born Imagining Myself With An Apron On, With Pies Cooling On The Window Sill And Babies Crying Upstairs. I Thought That All That Stuff Would Somehow Anchor Me To The Planet, That It Was The Weight I Needed To Keep From Just Flying Off Into Space.

Life Is A Cruel, Horrible Joke And I Am The Punch Line.

Your Innermost Urges Will Tell You What Strategy To Employ To Accomplish Your Special Purpose While Doing The Work You Enjoy.

Mistakes Are A Drag, Because You Get In The Area Of Regret And Self-pity.

What Worries Me Is, What If This Guy Is Really The One For Me And I Just Haven't Had Enough Therapy Yet For Me To Be Comfortable With Having Found Him.

Leia Follows Me Like A Vague Smell.

No, As It Turns Out, I Really Like Being Congratulated On My Weight Loss. I Like It So Much, It's Tragic.

I Don't Want To Be Thought Of As A Survivor Because You Have To Continue Getting Involved In Difficult Situations To Show Off That Particular Gift, And I'm Not Interested In Doing That Anymore.

Difficult Situations

One Of The Great Things To Pretend Is That You're Not Only Alright, You're In Great Shape. Now To Have That Come True - I've Actually Gone On Stage Depressed And That's Worked Its Magic On Me, 'cause If I Can Convince You That I'm Alright, Then Maybe I Can Convince Me.

Don't You See? We've Become Smart Enough To Justify Stupid Behavior. Like, 'i'm Angry At Him And I Didn't Express It, So I Turned My Anger Inward And Now It's Depression, So In Order To Feel Good Again, What I Should Do Is Call Him And Express My Anger.' It's Like, If We Can Make It Sound Smart Enough, We're Allowed To Do Stupid Things.

I Quote Fictional Characters, Because I'm A Fictional Character Myself!

Fictional Character

I Rarely Cry. I Save My Feelings Up Inside Me Like I Have Something More Specific In Mind For Them. I Am Waiting For The Exact Perfect Situationand Then Boom! I'll Explode In A Light Show Of Feeling And Emotion - A Pinata Stuffed With Tender Nuances And Pent-up Passions

No Motive Is Pure. No One Is Good Or Bad-but A Hearty Mix Of Both. And Sometimes Life Actually Gives To You By Taking Away.

He Doesn't Move His Face When He Talks. His Eyes Are Like Shark Eyes. Dead.

I Guess I Could Debra Winger In Any Number Of Things. She's So Luminous - It's A Birth Defect.

Part Of My Gestalt Is That I Still Feel A Little Bit Like A Wallflower. Even In My Own Life. I Talk About Myself Behind My Back.

My Mother Is An Immensely Powerful Woman.

As You Get Older, The Pickings Get Slimmer, But The People Don't.

A Lot Of The Time, I'm Just Smart Enough To Be Unhappy.

Acting Engenders And Harbours Qualities That Are Best Left Way Behind In Adolesence.

I Mean, For Years [my Father] Would Been Doing Everything Imaginable ... From Speed To Downers To You Name It. I Used To Call That "changing Seats On The Titanic," And I Used To Say That I Myself Was Not Only Changing Seats On The Titanic But Dating The Crew.

I Used To Refer To My Drug Use As Putting The Monster In The Box. I Wanted To Be Less, So I Took More - Simple As That. Anyway, I Eventually Decided That The Reason Dr. Stone Had Told Me I Was Hypomanic Was That He Wanted To Put Me On Medication Instead Of Actually Treating Me. So I Did The Only Rational Thing I Could Do In The Face Of Such As Insult - I Stopped Talking To Stone, Flew Back To New York, And Married Paul Simon A Week Later.

I Have The Ability, Occasionally, Of Being Able To Step Out And See Who You Think I Could End Up Being. And I Like To Play With That.

I'm Really Grateful That I Could Write. But I Don't Even Mind It Going On Around Me.

You Know The Bad Thing About Being A Survivor... You Keep Having To Get Into Difficult Situations In Order To Show Off Your Gift.

Difficult Situations

[when Harry Met Sally] Was Fine, But It Was A Job. And I Did It Right After The 'burbs.

He's A Very Strange Guy, My Father. I Can't Get Mad At Him Because He's So Adorable.

The Parrots Are Great. They Do Something I Refer To As "the Phone Call From Venus." They Repeat All My Phone Conversations. It Can Very Annoying - Like Having A Lot Of Children In The House Screaming.

So When I Was 24, Someone Suggested To Me That I Was Bipolar, And I Thought That Was Ridiculous. I Just Thought He Was Trying To Get Out Of Treating Me. But He Was Also Responding To The Chaotic Nature Of My Life.

This Actress Named Lisa Eilbacher. I Was Up For The Part In Shampoo And Friends Of Mine Kept Telling Me She Was Going Around Saying All These Bad Things About Me. It's Like We're Still In The Sixth Grade Sometimes.

Sometimes I Feel Like I've Got My Nose Pressed Up Against The Window Of A Bakery, Only I'm The Bread.

I Always Felt The Jewish Part More. In Fact, Growing Up I Felt Like A Jew Among Wasps. My Brother Is More Decidedly Waspy.

I Don't Think Christmas Is Necessarily About Things. It's About Being Good To One Another, It's About The Christian Ethic, It's About Kindness.

Me Being An Actor Was An Accident, And Not Something I Wanted To Do, Because I Knew What Happened Eventually. Yeah, Maybe You'd Get Famous, But Then You Wouldn't Be Famous Anymore. Then You'd Have To Scramble To Get Back To Where You Were, And Chances Are, You Wouldn't.

Now It's Dedicated To My Grandparents And To Both Of My Parents. The First Book Was Dedicated To My Mother So I Thought Maybe It Was My Father's Turn, But Then I Realized That Everyone Would Jump On That And Assume I'd Had Some Falling Out With My Mother, Which Is Absolutely Not The Case.

I Can't Say That Period Talk Is My Favorite Bonding Arena. But I Also Think It's Sort Of Funny.

The Only One Who Didn't Know Was George Lucas. We Kept It From Him, Because We Wanted To See What His Face Looked Like When It Changed Expression--and He Fooled Us Even Then. He Got Industrial Light And Magic To Change His Facial Expressions For Him And Thx Sound To Make The Noise Of A Face-changing Expression.

Of Course I Miss [drugs]. And Anyone Who Tells You They Don't Is Lying.

Kevin Smith Is A Very Challenging Conversationalist And Jay Has Many Great Stories.

I'm The Wife Spike Lee Deserves. A White Woman, Which He Says He Would Never Be With, So Let's Get Someone Really White. I Am Spike Lee's Wife From Hell. I'm White And Weird And I Won't Pay Enough Attention To Him. If He Does Any More Of Those Angry Interviews, I'm Going To Write Him And See If He Wants The Wife He Deserves.

If Some Gang Were Threatening Your Family, You'd Go Looking For Someone Butch To Help, Right? Any Maybe If Your Mother Were Sick Or Something, You'd Find Someone A Bit More Fey.

You Can't Find Any True Closeness In Hollywood, Because Everybody Does The Fake Closeness So Well.

I Don't Really Understand It - Marriage.

You Know How I Always Seem To Be Struggling, Even When The Situation Doesn't Call For It?

You Know How They Say That Religion Is The Opiate Of The Masses? Well I Took Masses Of Opiates Religiously.

I Was Born Into Big Celebrity. It Could Only Diminish.

Ambition Is Exhausting. It Makes You Friends With People For The Wrong Reasons, Just Like Drugs.

Finding The Cutest Guy In A.a. Is Like Finding The Cutest Loony In The Bin.

I'll Never Be Known For My Work With Boundaries.

My Mother's Career Was Over At 40 But She Was Still Trying To Be Everyone's Buddy, Always Smiling For The Cameras.

I Never Really Saw [my Father] At All When I Was Growing Up.

Never Love For Me, Only Obsession. Someone Has To Stand Still For You To Love Them. My Choices Are Always On The Run.

I Was Telling Some People In My Dressing Room Some Of My Other Stories, My Psychotic Break, And Blah, Blah, Blah, And No, They Kind Of Look At You And It's Just Not What They Wanted To Hear.

A Lot Of Times, People Think They're The Only Ones That Feel A Certain Way.

Sometimes You Can Only Find Heaven By Slowly Backing Away From Hell.

I Will Usually Be In Denial About That, Too, Because I Really Don't Like That. Sometimes I Will Recognize It And Sometimes Someone Will Say, "are You Okay?" And Then You Think, "oh, Maybe I'm Not."

You're Only As Sick As Your Secrets. Either It Comes Out Their Way Or My Way. I Talk About Myself Behind My Back. And I'm Funny About It.

The Trouble With Getting Introspective When You're Pregnant Is That You Never Know Who You Might Run Into.

From Here On Out, There's Just Reality. I Think That's What Maturity Is: A Stoic Response To Endless Reality. But Then, What Do I Know?

I Have A Girlfriend Who Talks Like That All The Time. Who Constantly Complain About Their Periods And Plumbing And Stuff.

I Guess, As They Say, I Never Acquired A Taste For [caviar].

Oh! This'll Impress You - I'm Actually In The Abnormal Psychology Textbook. Obviously My Family Is So Proud. Keep In Mind Though, I'm A Pez Dispenser And I'm In The Abnormal Psychology Textbook. Who Says You Can't Have It All?

I Don't Think 50-50 Relationships Exist. Men Have An Incredibly Variety Of Options. It's Much Harder For A Woman To Do Both Things. I Think Traditional Relationships Work Best.

Actually,i Am A Failed Anorexic. I Have Anorexic Thinking, But I Can't Seem To Muster The Behavoir

I Found Out When I Did The Oprah Winfrey Show That There Was A Cookie Jar Of Me. So She Gave It To Me. I Had No Idea Prior To That That It Even Existed.

Here's How Men Think. Sex, Work - And Those Are Reversible, Depending On Age - Sex, Work, Food, Sports And Lastly, Begrudgingly, Relationships. And Here's How Women Think. Relationships, Relationships, Relationships, Work, Sex, Shopping, Weight, Food.

People Are Still Asking Me If I Knew Star Wars Was Going To Be That Big Of A Hit. Yes, We All Knew. The Only One Who Didn't Know Was George.

All I Know Is That You Can Chop Up All The Onions And The Whatevers You Want And Put It On Top Of Caviar, But You Still Can't Disguise The Fact That You're Eating Fish Eggs. Ugh!

My Favorite One To See Is The Metal Bikini On Men.

[my Grandparents] Were From Texas. El Paso. White Trash.

If My Life Wasn't Funny It Would Just Be True, And That Is Unacceptable.

I Am Mentally Ill. I Can Say That. I Am Not Ashamed Of That. I Survived That, I'm Still Surviving It, But Bring It On. Better Me Than You.

I'm Fond Of Kissing. It's Part Of My Job. God Sent Me Down To Kiss A Lot Of People.

Look,' He Said, 'i Don't Think We Should Continue This Discussion. I Don't Like This Side Of You.' 'i'm Not A Box,' She Said 'i Don't Have Sides. This Is It. One Side Fits All. This Is It.

I Still Give My Friends Relationship Advice, Of Course, And I'm Not Bad At It. 'anyone's Crisis But Mine' Is My Motto.

I Mean, That's At Least In Part Why I Ingested Chemical Waste - It Was A Kind Of Desire To Abbreviate Myself. To Present The Cliffnotes Of The Emotional Me, As Opposed To The Twelve-column Read.

Saying You're An Alcoholic And An Addict Is Like Saying You're From Los Angeles And From California.

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