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Artemis Smiled. "you Have Done Well, My Lieutenant. You Have Made Me Proud, And All Those Hunters Who Perished In My Service Will Never Be Forgotten. They Will Achieve Elysium, I Am Sure." She Glared Pointedly At Hades. He Shrugged. "probably." Artemis Glared At Him Some More. Okay," Hades Grumbled. "i'll Streamline Their Application Process.

-Rick Riordan

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Artemis Smiled. "you Have

Rick Riordan

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Artemis Smiled. "you Have Done Well, My Lieutenant. You Have Made Me Proud, And All Those Hunters Who Perished In My Service Will Never Be Forgotten. They Will Achieve Elysium, I Am Sure." She Glared Pointedly At Hades. He Shrugged. "probably." Artemis Glared At Him Some More. Okay," Hades Grumbled. "i'll Streamline Their Application Process.

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Oh, My Dear! I’m Afraid You’ve Mistaken Me For Someone Else! My Name Is Rhea Silvia. I Was The Mother To Romulus And Remus, Thousands Of Years Ago. But You’re So Kind To Think I Look As Young As The 1950s.

Delaying Death Is One Of My Favorite Hobbies

Seven Half-bloods Shall Answer The Call To Storm Or Fire The World Must Fall An Oath To Keep With A Final Breath And Foes Bear Arms To The Doors Of Death

I Apologize For Apologizing." "thank You.

Zoe Readied Her Arrows. Grover Lifted His Pipes. Thalia Raised Her Shield And I Noticed A Tear Running Down Her Cheek. Suddenly It Occurred To Me: This Had Happened To Her Before.she Had Been Cornered On Half- Blood Hill. She'd Willingly Given Her Life For Her Friends. But This Time She Couldn't Save Us.

Jason's Fingers Itched To Draw His Sword. He'd Met Plenty Of Scary Demigods, But He Was Starting To Realize That Nico Di Angelo--as Pale And Gaunt As He Looked--might Be More Than He Could Handle.

Sometimes You Have To Lose A Piece To Win A Game.

But Beauty Is About Finding The Right Fit, The Most Natural Fit, To Be Perfect, You Have To Feel Perfect About Yourself --- Avoid Trying To Be Something You're Not. For A Goddess, That's Especially Hard. We Can Change So Easily. -aphrodite

It’s My Birthday, Horus Insisted. Wish Me Happy Birthday! “happy Birthday!” I Yelled. “now Shut Up!

The Truth Is Harsh." Anubis Said. "spirits Come To The Hall Of Judgement All The Time, And They Cannot Let Go Of Their Lies. They Deny Their Faults, Their True Feelings, Their Mistakes.......right Up Until Ammit Devours Their Souls For Eternity. It Takes Strength And Courage To Admit The Truth.

Thank Artemis, It Is You! That Little Scar On Your Lip--you Tried To Eat A Stapler When You Were Two!" ... Hedge Nodded Like He Approved Of Jason's Taste. "staplers--excellent Source Of Iron.

But Grover’s Voice Was Already Growing Fainter. ‘sweet Dreams. Don’t Let Me Die!

Not Inmune To Engines Huh? Boo-yah!! -leo

Aphrodite,” [annabeth] Said. “venus?” Hazel Asked In Amazement. “mom,” Piper Said With No Enthusiasm. “girls!” The Goddess Spread Her Arms Like She Wanted A Group Hug. The Three Demigods Did Not Oblige. Hazel Backed Into A Palmetto Tree.

Ever Had A Flying Burrito Hit You? Well, It's A Deadly Projectile, Right Up There With Cannonballs And Grenades.

Aphros Nodded, A Glint Of Pride In His Eyes. “we Have Trained All The Famous Mer-heroes! Name A Famous Mer-hero, And We Have Trained Him Or Her!” “oh, Sure,” Leo Said. “like…um, The Little Mermaid?” Aphros Frowned. “who? No! Like Triton, Glaucus, Weissmuller, And Bill!” “oh. ”leo Had No Idea Who Any Of Those People Were. “you Trained Bill? Impressive.

I Racked My Brain Trying To Remember The Names Of All Of Nut’s Five Children. Bit Difficult Without My Brother, The Human Wikipedia, Around To Keep Track Of Such Trivia For Me.

Look, I Never Wanted To Be A Half-blood. Most Of The Time It Gets You Killed In Nasty, Dangerous Ways.

Percy Scowled. "i-i Know You." Nico Raised His Eyebrows. "do You?

Nico Drank From The Chalice, Then Offered It To Jason. "you Asked Me About Trust, And Taking A Risk? Well, Here You Go, Son Of Jupiter. How Much Do You Trust Me?" Frank Wasn't Sure What Nico Was Talking About, But Jason Didn't Hesitate. He Took The Cup And Drank.

Wow," Thalia Muttered. "apollo Is Hot." "he's The Sun God," I Said. "that's Not What I Meant.

Coach," Annabeth Said, "it Was An Accident. We Were Talking, And We Fell Asleep." "besides," Percy Said, "you're Starting To Sound Like Terminus." Hedge Narrowed His Eyes. "is That An Insult, Jackson? 'cause I'll-i'll Terminus You, Buddy!

Ut Cum Spiritu Postrema Sacramentum Dejuremus," He Chanted. "et Hostes Ornamenta Addent Ad Ianuam Necem." "you Just...finished The Prophesy,"rachael Stammered. "-an Oath To Keep With A Final Breath/and Foes Bear Arms To The Doors Of Death. How Did You-" "i Know Those Lines." Jason Winced And Put His Hands To His Temples. "i Don't Know How, But I Know That Prophecy." "in Latin, No Less," Drew Called Out. "handsome And Smart.

I Hoped They Couldn't Run Very Fast With Those Stubby Little Legs And Flippers, But They Waddled Along Pretty Well.

Can You Surf Really Well, Then?" I Looked At Grover, Who Was Trying Hard Not To Laugh. "jeez, Nico," I Said. "i've Never Really Tried." He Went On Asking Questions. Did I Fight A Lot With Thalia, Since She Was A Daughter Of Zeus? (i Didn't Answer That One.) If Annabeth's Mother Was Athena, The Goddess Of Wisdom, Then Why Didn't Annabeth Know Better Than To Fall Off A Cliff? (i Tried Not To Strangle Nico For Asking That One.) Was Annabeth My Girlfriend? (at This Point, I Was Ready To Stick The Kid In A Meat-flavored Sack And Throw Him To The Wolves.)

The Real Story Of The Fleece: There Were These Two Children Of Zeus, Cadmus And Europa, Okay? They Were About To Get Offered Up As Human Sacrifices, When They Prayed To Zeus To Save Them. So Zeus Sent This Magical Flying Ram With Golden Wool, Which Picked Them Up In Greece And Carried Them All The Way To Colchis In Asia Minor. Well, Actually It Carried Cadmus. Europa Fell Off And Died Along The Way, But That's Not Important." "it Was Probably Important To Her.

Lovely. Imprisoned In A Nursery School Dungeon.

You Both Should Feel Honored.” “right, Very Honored,” I Said. “always Wanted To Be Possessed!

Piper Bit Her Lip. The Last Thing She Wanted To Do Was Check Katopris For More Terrifying Images. 'i've Tried,'she Said.'the Dagger Doesn't Always Show What I Want To See. In Fact,it Hardly Ever Does' 'please,'percy Said.'try Again.' He Pleaded With Those Sea-green Eyes, Like A Cute Baby Seal That Needed Help.piper Wondered How Annabeth Ever Won An Argument With This Guy. 'fine,'she Sighed,and Drew Her Dagger

He Raised An Eyebrow. "you Claim Not To Know Me? Of Course I'm Thoth. Also Called Djehuti. Also Called--" I [sadie] Stifled A Laugh. "ja-hooty?" Thoth Looked Offended. "in Ancient Egyptian, It's A Perfectly Fine Name. The Greeks Called Me Thoth. Then Later They Confused Me With Their God Hermes. Even Had The Nerve To Rename My Sacred City Hermopolis, Though We're Nothing Alike. Believe Me, If You've Ever Met Hermes--

I Can Try To Disable It," I Said, "but If I Mess Up, This Whole Apartment Is Going To Fill With Gas. We'll Die." Thalia Swallowed. " I Trust You. Just... Don't Mess It Up.

Hades Raised An Eyebrow. When He Sat Forward In His Throne, Shadowy Faces Appeared In The Folds Of His Black Robes, Faces Of Torment,as If The Garment Was Stitched Of Trapped Souls From The Fields Of Punishment, Trying To Get Out. The Adhd Part Of Me Wondered, Off-task, Whether The Rest Of His Clothes Were Made The Same Way. What Horrible Things Would You Have To Do In Your Life To Get Woven Into Hades' Underwear?

Carter Kane, 14, Died Tragically In Paris When He Was Eaten By His Sister’s Cat Muffin.

Met Them. Killed Them. Got The T-shirt.

We Walked On The Beach, Fed Blue Corn Ships To The Seagulls, And Munched On Blue Jelly Beans, Blue Saltwater Taffy And All The Other Free Samples My Mom Brought Home From Work. I Guess I Should Explain The Blue Food. See, Gabe Had Once Told My Mom There Was No Such Thing. They Had This Fight, Which Seemed Like A Really Small Thing At The Time. But Ever Since, My Mom Went Out Of Her Way To Eat Blue. She Baked Blue Birthday Cakes. She Mixed Blueberry Smoothies. She Bought Blue-corn Tortilla Chips And Brought Home Blue Candy From The Shop.

I Caught Bast’s Arm When She Was A Few Steps From The Bank. “stay Away From The Water.” She Frowned. “carter, I’m A Cat. I’m Not Going For A Swim. But If You Want To Summon A River Goddess, You Really Need To Do It At The Riverbank.

Suspecting And Knowing Are Not The Same.

Now, Come Over Here So I Can Pat You Down." "but You Don't Have-" Percy Stopped. "uh, Sure." He Stood Next To The Armless Statue. Terminus Conducted A Rigorous Mental Pat Down. "you Seem To Be Clean," Terminus Decided. "do You Have Anything To Declare?" "yes," Percy Said. "i Declare That This Is Stupid.

Piper Leaned Toward [jason], Her Caramel Braid Falling Over Her Shoulder. Her Multicolored Eyes Made It Hard For Him To Think Straight. “and Where Is This Place?” She Asked. “a . . . Uh, A Town Called Split.” “split.” She Smelled Really Good—like Blooming Honeysuckle. “um, Yeah.” Jason Wondered If Piper Was Working Some Sort Of Aphrodite Magic On Him—like Maybe Every Time He Mentioned Reyna’s Name, She Would Befuddle Him So Much He Couldn’t Think About Anything But Piper. He Supposed It Wasn’t The Worst Sort Of Revenge.

You Can't Call A Ninja Lord Dweeb.

"monkey Bars," Annabeth Said. "i'm Great At These." She Leaped Onto To The First Rung And Started Swinging Her Way Across. She Was Scared Of Tiny Spiders, But Not Of Plummeting To Her Death From A Set Of Monkey Bars. Go Figure.

Your Head Is Full Of Kelp.

Just Sit Tight. Reinforcements Should Be Here Soon. Hopefully Nothing Happens Before-" Lightning Crackled Overhead. The Wind Picked Up With A Vengeance. Worksheets Flew Into The Grand Canyon, And The Entire Bridge Shuddered. Kids Screamed, Stumbling And Grabbing The Rails. "i Had To Say Something," Hedge Grumbled. He Bellowed Into His Megaphone: "everyone Inside! The Cow Says Moo! Off The Skywalk!" "i Thought You Said This Thing Was Stable!" Jason Shouted Over The Wind. "under Normal Circumstances," Hedge Agreed, "which These Aren't.

Daddy Will Explain. Come, He Is Blowing Up Monsters.

Mythologically Speaking, If There's Anything I Hate Worse Than Trios Of Old Ladies, It's Bulls. Last Summer, I Fought The Minotaur On Top Of Half-blood Hill. This Time What I Saw Up There Was Even Worse: Two Bulls. And Not Just Regular Bulls - Bronze Ones The Size Of Elephants. And Even That Wasn't Bad Enough. Naturally They Had To Breathe Fire, Too.

Staplers--- Excellent Source Of Iron

We Ran, Plowing Through Another Pile Of Peppers. [no, I Didn't Pick A Peck Of Them, Sadie - Just Shut Up.]

And If I Was Humming "happy Birthday" And Smiling Stupidly As I Fled For My Life—well, That Was Nobody's Business, Was It?

Why Are They So Sad?” I Asked. “well, They’re Dead,” Carter Speculated.

I Don't Think About Being Famous, Really. Being An Author, I Don't Generally Get Stopped As I Walk Down The Street. It's Not Like Being A Movie Star.

Ah, Mastery Of The Five Elements!" "is That The One We Want?" I Asked. "no, But A Good One. How To Tame The Five Essential Elements Of The Universe - Earth, Air, Water, Fire, And Cheese!" "cheese?

The Demigods Have Left For Alaska," Stheno Said. "they Fly Straight To Their Death. Ah, Small "d" Death, I Mean. Not Our Prisoner Death. Although, I Suppose They're Flying To Him Too.

Far Below I Heard Cacus Bellowing As Millions, Maybe Even Thousands Of Filthy Gallons Of Water Slammed Into Him. Meanwhile, Annabeth Alternately Shouted, Gagged, Hit Me, Called Me Endearing Pet Names Like, "idiot! Stupid - Dirty - Moron - " And Topped It All Off With, "kill You!

Forget The Chicken-nugget Smoke Screen. Percy Wanted Leo To Invent An Anti-dream Hat.

"bloated!" He Cried. The Corresponding Hieroglyph Flew Through The Air, Bursting Against A Demon's Chest In A Spray Of Light. Instantly, The Demon Swelled Like A Water Balloon And Rolled Screaming Down The Pyramid. "flat!" Thoth Blasted Another Demon, Who Collapsed And Shriveled Into A Monster-shaped Doormat. "intestinal Problems!" Thoth Yelled. The Poor Demon Who Got Zapped With That One Turned Green And Doubled Over.

He Also Didn't Mind Piper's Using Him For A Pillow. She Had A Cute Way Of Breathing When She Slept - Inhaling Through The Nose, Exhaling With A Little Puff Through The Mouth. He Was Also Disappointed When She Woke Up.

Once He'd Even Reprogrammed The Electronic Billboards In Time Square To Read: All Da Ladies Luv Leo... Accidentally, Of Course.

He Dropped The Rest Of The Cokes Into The Grave And Pulled Out A White Paper Bag Decorated With Cartoons. I Hadn’t Seen One In Years, But I Recognized It — A Mcdonald’s Happy Meal. He Turned It Upside Down And Shook The Fries And Hamburger Into The Grave. “in My Day, We Used Animal Blood,” The Ghost Mumbled. “it’s Perfectly Good Enough. They Can’t Taste The Difference.” “i Will Treat Them With Respect,” Nico Said. “at Least Let Me Keep The Toy,” The Ghost Said.

I Could Hear Hopefulness In Her Voice, But Also Doubt. She Was Waiting For Me To Admit The Obvious: I'd Forgotten. I Was Toast. I Was Boyfriend Roadkill. Just Because I Forgot, You Shouldn't Take That As A Sign I Didn't Care About Annabeth. Seriously, The Last Month With Her Had Been Awesome. I Was The Luckiest Demigod Ever. But A Special Dinner... When Had I Mentioned That? Maybe I'd Said It After Annabeth Kissed Me, Which Had Sort Of Sent Me Into A Fog. Maybe A Greek Gos Had Disguised Himself As Me As And Made Her That Promise As A Prank. Or Maybe I Was Just A Rotten Boyfriend.

Mark My Words, Nothing Smells Worse Than Burned Scorpion.

He Could't Have Survied A Hundred Foot Drop. I'm Sorry Annabeth.

Percy, Meet Gladiola. Gladiola, Percy." I Stared At Annabeth, Figuring She'd Crack Up At This Practical Joke They Were Playing On Me, But She Looked Deadly Serious. "i'm Not Saying Hello To A Pink Poodle," I Said. "forget It." "percy," Annabeth Said. "i Said Hello To The Poodle. You Say Hello To The Poodle." The Poodle Growled. "i Said Hello To The Poodle.

"boys," Annabeth Interrupted, "i'm Sure You Both Would've Been Wonderful At Killing Each Other. But Right Now You Need Some Rest."

Eternity With Artemis?" He Heaved A Big Sigh. Thalia Rolled Her Eyes. "you Satyrs. You're All In Love With Artemis. Don't You Get That She'll Never Love You Back?" "but She's So…into Nature," Grover Swooned. "you're Nuts," Said Thalia. "nuts And Berries," Grover Said Dreamily. "yeah.

To A Degree, The Greek And Roman Mythological Heroes Are Just The First Superheroes. They Appeal To Children For Much The Same Reason. These Gods And Heroes May Have Powers, But They Get Angry And They Do The Wrong Thing. They Are Human Too.

You Are One Freaking Awesome Baboon.

Think Positive Girl, Or The World Ends.

I'm Not Good With Children," The God Confessed. "or People. Well, Any Organic Life Forms, Really.

No!" Amy Said. "dan, You're Lucky It Was Only Concussive. You Could've Wiped Out The Whole Holt Family." "and That Would've Been Bad Because...?

I Try To Craft Books That Are Fun, That Are Sort Of Subversively Educational So Kids Learn But They Don't Really Feel Like They're Being Lectured To, And I Want Kids To Always Finish One Of My Books And Think, "that Was Great, Where's The Next One?"

Her Perfume Was A Mixture Of Roses And Tear Gas.

Amos Stopped Before The Entrance, Which Was The Size Of A Garage Door—a Dark Heavy Square Of Timber With No Visible Handle Or Lock. “carter After You.” “um, How Do I—” “how Do You Think?” Great Another Mystery. I Was About To Suggest We Ram Amos’s Head Against It And See If That Worked.

During Their Separation, Something Had Happened To Annabeth's Feelings. They'd Grown Painfully Intense-like She'd Been Forced To Withdraw From A Life-saving Medication. Now She Wasn't Sure Which Was More Excruciating-living With That Horrible Absence, Or Being With Him Again.

If I'm Going To Burn, It Might As Well Be Bright.

A Vampire!" I Stammered. Then I Noticed Her Legs. Below The Cheerleader Skirt, Her Left Leg Was Brown And Shaggy With A Donkey's Hoof. Her Right Leg Was Shaped Like A Human Leg Was It Was Made Of Bronze. "uhh, A Vampire With-" "don't Mention The Legs!" Tammi Snapped. "it's Rude To Make Fun.

Teach You To Try Marrying Me, You Idiot!

Percy Imagined What That Would Be Like: Getting An Apartment In This Tiny Replica Of Rome, Protected By The Legion And Terminus The Ocd Border God. He Imagined Holding Hands With Annabeth At A Cafe. Maybe When They Were Older, Watching Their Own Kid Chase Seagulls Across The Forum.

Perseus, You Are Not The Hero.

There’s Nothing Here,” Carter Said. “what Do You Want?” I Asked. “we’ve Got Wax, Some Toilet Papyrus, An Ugly Statue.

Hi, This Is Ganymede, Cup-bearer To Zeus, And When I'm Out Buying Wine For The Lord Of The Skies, I Always Buckle Up!

I Hadn't Seen My Dad Get Violent Since The Great Spatula Incident, And I Wasn't Anxious To See A Repeat Of That.

Who's The Other Kid In The Photo?' He Asked. 'the Sandy-haired Guy.' Annabeth's Expression Tightened. Touchy Subject. 'that's Luke,' She Said. 'he's Dead Now.

Coach Hedge Came Pounding Up The Stairs With Hazel At His Hooves. “where Are They?” He Demanded. “who Do I Kill?” “no Killing!” Annabeth Ordered. “just Defend The Ship!” “but They Interrupted A Chuck Norris Movie!

Percy Smiled At Her - That Sarcastic Troublemaker Smile That Had Annoyed Her For Years But Eventually Had Become Endearing. His Sea-green Eyes Were As Gorgeous As She Remembered. His Dark Hair Was Swept To One Side, Like He'd Just Come From A Walk On The Beach. He Looked Even Better Than He Had Six Months Ago - Tanner And Taller, Leaner And More Muscular. Percy Threw His Arms Around Her. They Kissed And For A Moment Nothing Else Mattered. An Asteroid Could Have Hit The Planet And Wiped Out All Life, And Annabeth Wouldn't Have Cared.

Strange Things Conspire When One Tries To Cheat Fate

Let's Boogie,' He (leo) Said. 'before I Come To My Senses

Very Well! It Shall Be As You Say. But My Son, Pray This Works. I Am Praying. I'm Talking To You, Right? Oh...yes. Good Point. Amphitrite - Incoming!

In The Duat, Anubis Looked As He Always Had, With His Tousled Dark Hair And Lovely Brown Eyes, But I’d Never Seen Him Filled With Such Rage. I Realized That Anyone Who Dared To Hurt Me Would Suffer His Full Wrath, And Walt Wasn’t Going To Hold Him Back.

She Whirled When The Monster Was Almost On Top Of Her. I Thought The Thing In Her Hands Was An Umbrella Until She Cranked The Pump And The Shotgun Blast Blew The Giant Twenty Feet Backwards, Right Into Nico's Sword. "nice One," Paul Said. "when Did You Learn To Fire A Shotgun?" I Demanded. My Mom Blew The Hair Out Of Her Face. "about Two Seconds Ago. Percy, We'll Be Fine. Go!

Leo: I'm Almost Out Of Gas! Woah, That Came Out Wrong. I Meant The Burning Kind!

Thalia Blushed. "hi, Lord Apollo." Zeus's Girl, Yes? Makes You My Half Sister. Used To Be A Tree, Didn't You? Glad You're Back. I Hate It When Pretty Girls Turn Into Trees. Man, I Remember One Time—

Now, Now," Bast Said. "it's Not So Bad." "right," I Said. "we're Stuck In Washington, D.c. We Have Two Days To Make It To Arizona And Stop A God We Don't Know How To Stop. And If We Can't, We'll Never See Our Dad Or Amos Again, And The World Might End." "that's The Spirit!" Bast Said Brightly. "now, Let's Have A Picnic.

Great," Percy Said. "seven Of Us Against Hercules." "and A Satyr!" Hedge Added. "we Can Take Him.

That's Great. Except For The Fact That It's Completely Unimportant.

Run!” Piper Said. “we Are Running!” Jason Picked Up The Speed. “run Better!” Leo Shouted.

I Tried To Think Of Something To Say. Excuse Me? Hello? Marry Me? Anything Would Have Done.

We Did All The Standard Camp Numbers: "down By The Aegean," "i Am My Own Great-great-great-great Grandpa," "this Land Is Minos's Land.

Hello George. Hey Martha (percy) Did You Bring Us A Rat? (george) George, Stop It!he's Busy! (martha) Too Busy For Rats? That's Just Sad. (george)

Curse Hermes And His Multi-vitamins!

So Why Are We Practicing This, Anyway?" Percy Asked. "do You Guys Spend A Lot Of Time Laying Siege To Fortified Cities?

My Sword Reappeared In My Pocket. Yeah,great Timing.now I Could Attack The Walls All I Wanted.my Cell Had No Bar,no Window,not Even A Door

Coach Hedge Grumbled As He Tended Their Wounds. “how Come I Never Get Invited On These Violent Trips?

Maybe It’s The Other Way Around,” Jason Suggested. “maybe People With Special Gifts Show Up When Bad Things Are Happening Because That’s When They’re Needed Most.

Son Of Poseidon? East Asked. I Nodded. Took A Dip In The Styx? Hudson Asked. Yep. They Made Digusted Sounds. Well That's Perfect East Said. Now How Do We Kille Him?

Come On," I Said. "i've Got Some Questions For Thoth. And Then I'm Going To Punch Him In The Beak.

Grover Was Sniffing The Wind, Looking Nervous. He Fished Out His Acorns And Threw Them Into The Sand, Then Played His Pipes. They Rearranged Themselves In A Pattern That Made No Sense To Me, But Grover Looked Concerned. "that's Us," He Said. "those Five Nuts Right There." "which One Is Me?" I Asked. "the Little Deformed One," Zoe Suggested. "oh, Shut Up.

Facinating." He Broke Into A Wide Grin. "i've Discovered Something, Khufu. This Is Not Memphis, Egypt." Khufu Gave Me A Sideways Look, And I Could Swear His Expression Meant, Duh. "i've Also Discovered A New Form Of Magic Called Blues Music," The Man Continued. "and Barbecue. Yes, You Must Try Barbecue.

You Promised, Seaweed Brain. We Would Not Get Separated! Ever Again!

Sometimes Small Things Can Become Very Large, Indeed.

You're A Demigod Percy, Half God And Half Mortal!

Do Not Despair. Heroes Rarely Live Up To To Our Expectations

If Somebody Offers You Hapi Pills, Just Say No!

Which Meant His Only Assets Were One Whiny Imprisoned Goddess, One Sort-of-girlfriend With A Dagger, And Leo, Who Apparently Thought He Could Defeat The Armies Of Darkness With Breath Mints.

I've Got This." Apollo Stepped Forward. His Fiery Armor Was So Bright It Was Hard To Look At, And His Matching Ray-bans And Perfect Smile Made Him Look Like A Male Model For Battle Gear. "god Of Medicine, At Your Service.

Die, Enemies Of Ra!" Sekhemet Yelled. "perish In Agony!" "she's Almost As Annoying As You," I Told Horus. "impossible," Horus Said. "no One Bests Horus.

Mugged By My Own Mother.

Maybe That's Why He Had Started To Fear Suffocation. It Wasn't So Much Drowning In The Earth Or Sea But The Feeling That He Was Sinking Into Too Many Expectations, Literally Getting In Over His Head. Wow...when He Started Having Thoughts Like That, He Knew He'd Been Spending Too Much Time With Annabeth.

Mrs. O' Leary Is My Pet. I Couldn't Let You Stick A Sword In Her Rump, Now, Could I? That Might've Scared Her.

Piper!” Frank Yelled. “counter Those Empousai! We Need Some Chaos.” “thought You’d Never Ask.” She Started Catcalling At The Female Demons: “your Makeup Is Smeared! Your Friend Called You Ugly! That One Is Making A Face Behind Your Back!

Even From Far Away, I Could See People Being Chased By Hellhounds, Burned At The Stake, Forced To Run Naked Through Cactus Patches Or Listen To Opera Music.

I Held Out The Painting Of The Cat And The Snake. “it’s A Cat And A Snake,” Thoth Said. Thank You, God Of Wisdom. You Placed It For Us To Find, Didn’t You? You’re Trying To Give Us Some Sort Of Clue.” “who, Me?” Just Kill Him, Horus Said. Shut Up, I Said. At Least Kill The Guitar.

I Tried Very Hard. But I Can't Help It. The Fates Are Cruel. They Sent You To Me, My Brave One, Knowing That You Would Break My Heart.

Please Excuse Jason From Eternal Damnation. He Has Had Amnesia.

We Were Absolutely Destined To Meet Your Hot Sister

Percy," My Father Said, "what Exactly Do You Mean?" "kronos Couldn't Have Risen If It Hadn't Been For A Lot Of Demigods Who Felt Abandoned By Their Parents," I Said. "they Felt Angry, Resentful, And Unloved, And They Had A Good Reason.

My Name Is Percy Jackson. I'm Twelve Years Old. Until A Few Months Ago, I Was A Boarding Student At Yancy Academy, A Private School For Troubled Kids In Upstate New York. Am I A Troubled Kid? Yeah. You Could Say That.

Sometimes Mortals Can Be More Horrible Than Monsters.

Frank Couldn't Breathe Underwater. But Where Was He? Percy Turned In A Full Circle. Nothing. Then He Glanced Up. Hovering Above Him Was A Giant Goldfish. Frank Had Turned -clothes, Backpack, And All- Into A Koi The Size Of A Teen-aged Boy. "dude." Percy Sent His Thoughts Through The Water, The Way He Spoke To Other Sea Creatures. "a Goldfish?" Frank's Voice Came Back To Him: "i Freaked. We Were Talking About Goldfish, So It Was On My Mind. Sue Me.

Frank Nodded Grimly. “well…any Goddess Who Throws A Ding Dong At A Giant Can’t Be All Bad. Let’s Go.

Have You Ever Noticed How Parents Can Go From The Most Wonderful People In The World To Totally Embarrassing In Three Seconds?

That Really Was Not Fun, Though. Well, The Hitting-her-with-a-stick Part, That Was Fun. But Crashing Into A Concrete Bear? Not Fun.

Then There Was Nico Di Angelo. Dang, That Kid Gave Leo The Freaky-deakies. He Sat Back In His Leather Aviator Jacket, His Black T-shirt And Jeans, That Wicked Silver Skull Ring On His Finger, And The Stygian Sword At His Side. His Tufts Of Black Hair Struck Up In Curls Like Baby Bat Wings. His Eyes Were Sad And Kind Of Empty, As If He’d Stared Into The Depths Of Tartarus—which He Had.

Love And War Always Go Together. They Are The Peaks Of Human Emotion! Evil And Good, Beauty And Ugliness

The Wind Blowing Through My Ripped Clothes Was So Cold That I Felt Like A Percysicle.

We'll Have To Work On Your Bunny Phobia Later.

Oh, Don't Mind Me! Just The Queen Of The Heavens, Dying Over Here!

But Annabeth Just Smiled And Put Us In Jail. As She Was Heading Back To The Front Line, She Turned And Winked. "see You At The Fireworks?" She Didn't Even Wait For My Answer Before Darting Off Into The Woods. I Looked At Beckendorf. "did She Just...ask Me Out?" He Shrugged, Completely Disgusted. "who Knows With Girls? Give Me A Haywire Dragon, Any Day." So We Sat Together And Waited While The Girls Won The Game.

Apollo?” I Guessed… He Put A Finger To His Lips. “i’m Incognito. Call Me Fred.” A God Named Fred?

I Have To Be Careful. My Readers Are Very Detail-oriented, And If I Make A Mistake They'll Call Me On It.

When She Kissed Me, I Had The Feeling My Brain Was Melting Right Through My Body.

Is Tyson Okay?' I Asked. The Question Seemed To Take My Dad By Surprise. 'he's Fine. Doing Much Better Than I Expected. Though 'peanut Butter' Is A Strange Battle Cry.

The Sign Read Mouse Pass Gas Frank: "that's Wrong

Hera: Ohh, Thalia Grace, When I Get Out Of Here, You'll Be Sorry You Were Ever Born. Thalia: Save It! You've Been Nothing But A Curse To Every Child Of Zeus For Ages. You Sent A Bunch Of Intestinally Challenged Cows After My Friend Annabeth Hera: She Was Disrespectful! Thalia: You Dropped A Statue On My Legs. Hera: It Was An Accident! Thalia: And You Took My Brother

Jason Always Tried To Build A Good Relationship With His Team. He'd Learned The Hard Way That If Somebody Was Going To Have Your Back In A Fight, It Was Better If You Found Some Common Ground And Trusted Each Other. But Nico Wasn't Easy To Figure Out.

Good Relationship

I Looked Down At My Clothes. They Were Slashed To Pieces And Full Of Bullet Holes, But I Was Fine. Not A Mark On Me. Nico's Mouth Hung Open. "you Just . . . With A Sword . . . You Just—" "i Think The River Thing Worked," I Said. "oh Gee," He Said Sarcastically. "you Think?

Not Knowing Is Half The Fun," Aphrodite Said, "exquisitely Painful Isn't It? Not Being Sure Who You Love And Who Loves You? Oh, You Kids! It's So Cute I'm Going To Cry!

Now, You'll Have To Answer My Questions." "oh, Very Well," Set Said. "i Like Brazil For The World Cup. I'd Advise Investing In Platinum And Small-cap Funds. And Your Lucky Numbers This Week Are 2, 13--" "not Those Questions!" Menshikov Snapped.

Um ,sorry. I Cant Read The Last Line." "fish. Have You Stolen Any Fish From The Holy Lakes?" "i Lived In Kansas..so ..no

Beckendorf Walked Up With His Helmet Under His Arm. 'she Likes You, Man.' 'sure,' I Muttered. 'she Likes Me For Target Practice.' 'nah, They Always Do That. A Girl Starts Trying To Kill You, You Know She's Into You. 'makes A Lot Of Sense.

Destroy It?' Leo Was Appalled. 'you've Got A Life-size Bronze Dragon, And You Want To Destroy It?' 'it Breathes Fire,' Nyssa Explained. 'it's Deadly And Out Of Control.' 'but It's A Dragon!

Deadlines Just Aren't Real To Me Until I'm Staring One In The Face.

A Real Man's Weapon Is His Mind.

I Do Not Know How Much They See Through The Mist. I Doubt It Would Matter To Them If They Knew The Truth. Sometimes Mortals Can Be More Horrible Than Monsters.

[carter Just Asked When I Became A Ram Whisperer. Do Shut Up, Carter]

Hope Survives Best At The Hearth.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

I Should've Blown More Stuff Up." -coach Gleeson Hedge

It Wasn’t Easy Looking Dignified Wearing A Bed Sheet And A Purple Cape.

Alabaster, You Told Me Earlier That Heroes Don't Die. You May Be Right, But I Can Tell You One Thing." Claymore Looked The Boy In The Eyes. "i'm Not A Hero.

"anybody Have Money?" Frank Checked His Pockets. "three Denarii From Camp Jupiter. Five Dollars Canadian." Hedge Patted His Gym Shorts And Pulled Out What He Found. "three Quarters, Two Dimes, A Rubber Band And - Score! A Piece Of Celery." He Started Munching On The Celery, Eyeing The Change And The Rubber Band Like They Might Be Next.

Frank Imitated The Voice Of Vitellius: 'they're Wimps! Back In My Day, We Died All The Time, And We Liked It!

But (peresphone) Was Like, The Goddess Of Flowers." Grover Looked Offended. "springtime.

Why Do You Need To Gallop While You Fly?" "why Do Humans Have To Sway Their Arms While They Walk? I Dunno Boss, But It Just Feels Right.

Well . . . Sure Good To Be Together Again. Arguing. Almost Dying. Abject Terror. Oh, Look. It's Our Floor.

This Is Buford,” Leo Announced. “you Name Your Furniture?” Frank Asked.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

Shut Up, Me,” Leo Said Aloud. “what?” Piper Asked. “nothing,” He Said. “long Night. I Think I’m Hallucinating. It’s Cool.” Sitting In Front, Leo Couldn’t See Their Faces, But He Assumed From Their Silence That His Friends Were Not Pleased To Have A Sleepless, Hallucinating Dragon Driver. “just Joking.” Leo Decided It Might Be Good To Change The Subject.

She Wanted Me To Betray You Guys, And I Was Like, 'pfft, Right, I'm Gonna Listen To A Face In The Potty Sludge'.

He [death] Pulled A Pure-black Ipad From Thin Air. Death Tapped The Screen A Few Times And All Frank Could Think Was: Please Don't Let There Be An App For Reading Souls

Chiron Insisted That We Talk About The Labyrinth In The Morning Which Is Like 'hey, Your Life's In Mortal Danger. Sleep Tight!

Even Dionysus's Welcome-home Speech Wasn't Enough To Dampen My Spirits. "yes, Yes, So The Little Brat Didn't Get Himself Killed And Now He'll Have An Even Bigger Head. Well, Huzzah For That. In Other Announcements, There Will Be No Canoe Races This Saturday.

It's Funny How Humans Can Wrap Their Mind Around Things And Fit Them Into Their Version Of Reality.

Only The Fire Of Life Can Melt The Chains Of Death.

At First I Was Protecting You Two Because I Promised. Now Even If I Hadn't Promised, I Would. You Two Are Like Kittens To Me. I Won't Fail You Again." I'll Admit I Got A Lump In My Throat. I'd Never Been Called Someone's Kitten Before. Sadie Sniffled. She Brushed Something From Under Her Eye. "you're Not Going To Wash Us, Are You?

The Images From The Book You Make In Your Head Are Always Going To Be The Best Images.

I Am Your Friend Bob!

She Deserved At Least One Person Who Saw Her And Knew How Good She Was.

You Speak Horse?" Hazel Asked. "speaking To Horses Is A Poseidon Thing," Percy Said. "uh, I Mean A Neptune Thing." "then You And Arion Should Get Along Fine," Hazel Said. "he's A Son Of Neptune Too." Percy Turned Pale. "excuse Me?

I Can See Hope Inside It." Rachel Ran Her Fingers Over The Ceramic Designs. "so Fragile.

You Never Know!” Neith Snapped. “the Point Is, I’ll Survive The Apocalypse. I Can Live Off The Land!” She Jabbed A Finger At Me. “did You Know The Palm Tree Has Six Different Edible Parts?” “um—” “and I’ll Never Be Bored,” Neith Continued, “since I’m Also The Goddess Of Weaving. I Have Enough Twine For A Millennium Of Macramé!” I Had No Reply, As I Wasn’t Sure What Macramé Was.

Your Mom Is A Rainbow Goddess?" "you Got A Problem With That?" "no, No. Rainbows. Very Macho.

She’s Pretty,” Zethes Mumbled. “i Mean, She’s Right.

Glad You're Back To Normal. The Makeup And The Dress Were A Lot More Intimidating Than The Dagger." "get Going, Sparky, Before I Skewer You." "sparky?

Death Has More In Common With Love Than You Might Imagine.

Meat!" He Said Scornfully. "i'm A Vegetarian." You Eat Cheese Enchiladas And Aluminum Cans," I Reminded Him. Those Are Vegetables.

Hestia Shook Her Head. "i Am Here Because When All Else Fails, When All The Other Mighty Gods Have Gone Off To War, I Am All That's Left. Home. Hearth. I Am The Last Olympian

Right Before The Game, She Strolled Up To Me. "hey, Seaweed Brain." "will You Stop Calling Me That?" She Knows I Hate That Name, Mostly Because I Never Have A Good Comeback. She's The Daughter Of Athena, Which Doesn't Give Me A Lot Of Ammunition. I Mean, "owl-head" And "wise Girl" Are Kind Of Lame Insults.

I Named My Camel Katrina. She Was A Natural Disaster. She Slobbered Everywhere And Seemed To Think The Purple Streak In My Hair Was Some Kind Of Exotic Fruit. She Was Obsessed With Trying To Eat My Head. I Named Walt's Camel Hindenburg. He Was Almost As Large As A Zeppelin And Definitely As Full Of Gas.

So," I (percy) Said Glumly. "we're Going To Get A Ride From Your Brother, Huh?" Artemis's Silver Eyes Gleamed. "yes, Boy. You See, Bianca Di Angelo Is Not The Only One With An Annoying Brother. It's Time For You To Meet My Irresponsible Twin, Apollo.

It's Useless To Lecture A Human.

Your Lifeline...oh, The Burning Stick. Right." Leo Resisted The Urge To Set His Hand Ablaze And Yell: Bwah Ha Ha!

I Like To Remind Teachers That Even Though They're All Overwhelmed And Overloaded, And It's Easy To Get Burned Out, It Really Is About The Kids. It Only Takes One Good Teacher To Change A Life - One Time, And One Book. That's What Happened When I Was A Kid. I Had One Good Teacher That Came In At The Right Time And Turned Me Into A Writer. So Never Lose Sight - You Could Be That Teacher.

I Must Admit I’m Impressed, Sadie. You Controlled Your Magic And Controlled Isis. And You, Carter, Did Well Turning Into A Lizard.

Everybody Loves To Show Up At The Party Once All The Hard Work Is Done.

She'd Also Called Me Brave...unless She Was Talking To The Catfish.

Look, Ladies, We've Been Over This. I Don't Even Remember Killing Medusa. I Don't Remember Anything! Can't We Just Call A Truce And Talk About Your Weekly Specials?" Stheno Gave Her Sister A Pouty Look, Which Was Hard To Do With Giant Bronze Tusks. "can We?

I Try Not To Think. It Interferes With Being Nuts" - Leo Valdez

Getting Eaten By A Giant Crocodile Was Bad Enough. The Kid With The Glowing Sword Only Made My Day Worse.

Swords Can’t Solve Every Problem.

Wisdom's Daughter Walks Alone, The Mark Of Athena Burns Through Rome.

Traitor!" Hera Shouted. "you Meddlesome, D-list Goddess! You Aren't Worthy To Pour My Wine, Much Less Rule The World.

Tyson! Thank The Gods, Annabeth Is Hurt!" "you Thank The Gods That She Is Hurt?" He Asked, Puzzled.

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