Background Image

...

Advice Can Be Like Cod Liver Oil, Easy Enough To Administer But Not So Pleasant To Take For Anybody.

-Josh Billings

...

Please Wait....
Translating....

Advice Can Be Like

Josh Billings

...

Advice Can Be Like Cod Liver Oil, Easy Enough To Administer But Not So Pleasant To Take For Anybody.

Views: 93040

Topic

More From Josh Billings

Society Is Composed Of Slow Christians And Wide-awake Sinners.

If There Was No Faith There Would Be No Living In This World. We Could Not Even Eat Hash With Any Safety.

Advice Is Like Castor Oil — Easy Enough To Give But Dreadful Hard To Take.

Stupidity,--unconscious Ignorance.

A Dog Is The Only Thing On Earth That Loves You More Than You Love Yourself.

The Time To Pray Is Not When We Are In A Tight Spot But Just As Soon As We Get Out Of It.

He Whom Prosperity Humbles, And Adversity Strengthens, Is The True Hero.

Wisdom Deprives Even Poverty Of Half Its Power.

The Fools In This World Make About As Much Trouble As The Wicked Do.

I Would Much Rather Always Look Forward To The Time When I Am Going To Ride In A Carriage, Than To Look Back On The Time When I Used To.

The Man Who Ain't Got An Enemy Is Really Poor.

I've Never Known An Auctioneer To Lie Unless It Was Absolutely Necessary.

The Greatest Thief This World Has Ever Produced Is Procrastination, And He Is Still At Large.

It Is True That Wealth Won't Make A Man Virtuous, But I Notice There Ain't Anybody Who Wants To Be Poor Just For The Purpose Of Being Good.

Be Like A Postage Stamp. Stick To One Thing Until You Get There.

The Wheel That Squeaks The Loudest Is The One That Gets The Grease.

There Is Only One Good Substitute For The Endearments Of A Sister, And That Is The Endearments Of Some Other Fellow's Sister.

Marrying A Woman For Her Money Is Very Much Like Setting A Rat-trap, And Baiting It With Your Own Finger.

One Of The Greatest Victories You Can Gain Over Someone Is To Beat Him At Politeness.

Greatest Victory

When The Truth Is In Your Way, You Are On The Wrong Road.

Our Continual Desire For Praise Ought To Convince Us Of Our Mortality, If Nothing Else Will.

I Called My Cat William Because No Shorter Name Fits The Dignity Of His Character. Poor Old Man, He Has Fits Now, So I Call Him Fitz-william.

The Hardest Thing Any Man Can Do Is To Fall Down On The Ice When It's Slippery, And Get Up And Praise The Lord.

Experience Is A School Where A Man Learns What A Big Fool He Has Been.

If You Would Make Yourself Agreeable Wherever You Go, Listen To The Grievances Of Others But Never Relate Your Own.

Debt Is Like Any Other Trap, Easy Enough To Get Into, But Hard Enough To Get Out Of.

Men Mourn For What They Have Lost; Women For What They Ain't Got.

The Quickest Way To Take The Starch Out Of Someone Who Is Always Blaming Himself Is To Agree With Him.

It Is Not Much Trouble To Doctor Sick Folks, But To Doctor Healthy Ones Is Troublesome.

Liberty, Like Chastity, Once Lost, Can Never Be Regained In Its Original Purity.

The Great Art Of Writing Is Knowing When To Stop.

When You Do Laugh, Open Your Mouth Wide Enough For The Noise To Get Out Without Squealing, Throw Your Head Back As Though You Were Going To Be Shaved, Hold On To Your False Hair With Both Hands And Then Laugh Till Your Soul Gets Thoroughly Rested.

Advice Is Like Kissing: It Costs Nothing And Is A Pleasant Thing To Do.

To Enjoy A Good Reputation, Give Publicly, And Steal Privately.

We Mingle In Society Not So Much To Meet Others As To Escape Ourselves.

The Lion And The Lamb May, Possibly, Sumtime Lay Down In This World Together For A Fu Minnits, But When The Lion Kums Tew Git Up, The Lamb Will Be Missing.

If Men Were Stubborn Just In Proportion As They Were Right, Stubbornness Would Take Her Seat Among The Virtues; But Men Are Generally Stubborn Just In Proportion As They Are Ignorant And Wrong.

Old Maids Sweeten Their Tea With Scandal.

Man Is My Brother, And I Am Nearer Related To Him Through His Vices Than I Am Through His Virtue.

If Animals Had Reason, They Would Act Just As Ridiculous As We Menfolks Do.

What The World Wants Iz [sic] Good Examples, Not So Mutch Advice; Advice May Be Wrong, But Examples Prove Themselves.

The Devil Is The Father Of Lies, But He Neglected To Patent The Idea, And The Business Now Suffers From Competition.

Taking From Others Never Results In Prosperity. If We Steal From Others, Life Will Steal From Us. There Is An Incredible Abundance On This Planet. True Prosperity Begins With Feeling Good About Yourself And About The Choices You Make. Life Is Here For Us. Life Is Here To Support Us In Every Way. We Give Out, We Get Back. Honesty Is The Rarest Wealth Anyone Can Possess, And Yet All The Honesty In The World Ain't Lawful Tender For A Loaf Of Bread.

Most Men Had Rather Say A Smart Thing Than Do A Good One. John P. Kotter, Leading Change.

The Very Thing That Men Think They Have Got The Most Of, They Have Got The Least Of; And That Is Judgment.

Doesn't Know Much, But Leads The League In Nostril Hair.

Pity Cost Nothing And Ain't Worth Nothing.

Flattery Is Like Cologne Water, To Be Smelt, Not Swallowed.

Experience Is A Grindstone; And It Is Lucky For Us, If We Can Get Brightened By It, And Not Ground.

Consider The Postage Stamp: Its Usefulness Consists In The Ability To Stick To One Thing Till It Gets There.

The Best Creed We Can Have Is Charity Toward The Creeds Of Others.

There Are Lots Of People Who Mistake Their Imagination For Their Memory.

When A Man Comes To Me For Advice, I Find Out The Kind Of Advice He Wants, And I Give It To Him.

Nature Makes All The Noblemen; Wealth, Education, Or Pedigree Never Made One Yet.

It Ain't What A Man Don't Know That Makes Him A Fool, But What He Does Know That Ain't So.

My Advice To Those Who Are About To Begin, In Earnest, The Journey Of Life, Is To Take Their Heart In One Hand And A Club In The Other.

If You Do Not Know How To Lie, Cheat, And Steal, Turn Your Attention To Politics And Learn.

Early Genius, Like Early Cabbage, Does Not Head Well.

What Is A Man Profited, If He Shall Gain The Whole World, And Lose His Own Soul I Suppose This Depends Somewhat Upon The Size Of The Soul. I Think There Are Cases Where The Trade Would Do.

Threescore Years And Ten Is Enough; If A Man Can't Suffer All The Misery He Wants In That Time, He Must Be Numb.

If You Believe You Can Do Something, Then You Can Acquire The Ability To Do It Even If You Didn't Have It In The Beginning.

Fuss Is Half-sister To Hurry, And Neither Of Them Can Do Anything Without Getting In Their Own Way.

Genius Ain't Anything More Than Elegant Common Sense.

Too Many Individuals Are Like Shakespeare's Definition Of "echo,"--babbling Gossips Of The Air.

Every Man Should Know Something Of Law; If He Knows Enough To Keep Out Of It, He Is A Pretty Good Lawyer.

The Thinner The Ice, The More Anxious Is Everyone To See Whether It Will Bear.

There Is Not A Whole Lot Of Fun In Medicine But There Is A Whole Lot Of Medicine In Fun.

Incredulity Is The Wisdom Of The Fool.

We Should Make Virtue Our Master, Not Our Servant.

As The Flint Contains The Spark, Unknown To Itself, Which The Steel Alone Can Awaken To Life, So Adversity Often Reveals To Us Hidden Gems, Which Prosperity Or Negligence Would Forever Have Hidden.

Peace Is The Soft And Holy Shadow That Virtue Casts.

There Never Yet Was A Mother Who Taught Her Child To Be An Infidel.

[science Is] The Literature Of Truth.

A Man Running For Office Puts Me In Mind Of A Dog That's Lost-he Smells Everybody He Meets, And Wags Himself All Over.

Sekts And Creeds Ov Religion, Are Like Pocket Compesses, Good Enuff Tu Pinte Out The Direction, But The Nearer The Pole Yu Git Thewuss Tha Wurk.

The Miser And The Glutton Are Two Facetious Buzzards: One Hides His Store, And The Other Stores His Hide.

Life Consists Not In Holding Good Cards But In Playing Those You Hold Well.

Reason Often Makes Mistakes, But Conscience Never Does.

Money Will Buy A Pretty Good Dog, But It Won't Buy The Wag Of His Tail.

If A Man Should Happen To Reach Perfection In This World, He Would Have To Die Immediately To Enjoy Himself.

Ambition Is Like Hunger; It Obeys No Law But Its Appetite

Everybody In This World Wants Watching, But Nobody More Than Ourselves.

It Ain't No Disgrace For A Man To Fall, But To Lie There And Grunt Is.

The Best Way To Convince A Fool That He Is Wrong Is To Let Him Have His Own Way.

Good Nonsense Is Good Sense In Disguise.

Take The Humbug Out Of This World, And You Haven't Much Left To Do Business With.

Genuine Laughing Is The Vent Of The Soul, The Nostrils Of The Heart, And Just As Necessary For Health And Happiness As Spring Water Is For A Trout.

Pity Costs Nothing, And It Ain't Worth Nothing.

A Slander Is Like A Hornet; If You Cannot Kill It Dead At The First Blow, Better Not To Strike At It.

The Happiest Time In Any Man's Life Is When He Is In Red-hot Pursuit Of A Dollar With A Reasonable Prospect Of Overtaking It.

If Mankind Were Only Just What They Pretend To Be, The Problem Of The Millennium Would Be Immediately Solved.

Pride Seems Tew Be Quite Equally Distributed; The Man Who Owns The Carriage And The Man Who Drives It Seem Tew Have It Just Alike.

Most People When They Come To You For Advice, Come To Have Their Own Opinions Strengthened, Not Corrected.

Marrying For Love May Be A Bit Risky, But It Is So Honest That God Can't Help But Smile On It.

Ignorance Ain't Not Knowin' Stuff; Ignorance Is Knowin' Stuff That Ain't True.

Young Widows Still Bide Their Time.

Common Sense Is The Knack Of Seeing Things As They Are, And Doing Things As They Ought To Be Done.

Economy Is A Savings-bank, Into Which Men Drop Pennies, And Get Dollars In Return.

Plenty Of Folks Are So Contrary That If They Should Fall Into The River, They Would Insist Upon Floating Upstream.

It Is A Great Deal Easier For A Man To Find A Pedigree To Fit His Virtues Than Virtues To Fit His Pedigree.

Perseverance Is King.

As A General Thing, An Individual Who Is Neat In His Person Is Neat In His Morals.

It Ain't Because Lovers Are So Sensitive That They Quarrel So Often; It Is Because There Is So Much Fun N The Making Up.

There's Tons Of People That Spend A Lot Time Watching Their Well Being, They Have Not Acquired Time To Take Pleasure In It.

A Good Place To Visit, But A Poor Place To Stay.

There's One Good Thing About Tight Shoes; They Make You Forget Your Other Troubles.

Love Is Like The Measles; We Can't Have It Bad But Once, And The Later In Life We Have It The Tougher It Goes With Us.

There Are People Who Are Always Anticipating Trouble, And In This Way They Manage To Enjoy Many Sorrows That Never Really Happen To Them.

We Have Some Writers So Abstruse And Deep That They Drown Themselves In Their Fathomless Sentences.

People Who Have Nothing To Say Are Never At A Loss In Talking.

Never Run Into Debt, Not If You Can Find Anything Else To Run Into.

There Is Gravity In Wisdom, But No Particular Wisdom In Gravity.

Self-made Men Are Most Always Apt To Be A Little Too Proud Of The Job.

Pedigrees Seldom Improve By Age; The Grandson Is Too Often A Weak Infringement On The Grandsire's Parent.

Wisdom That Don't Make Us Happier Ain't Worth Plowing For.

Prejudice Is A House-plant Which Is Very Apt To Wilt If You Take It Out-of-doors Among Folks.

Faith Is The Soul Riding At Anchor.

There Is No Revenge So Complete As Forgiveness.

It Is The Little Bits Of Things That Fret And Worry Us; We Can Dodge A Elephant, But We Can't Dodge A Fly.

Caution, Though Very Often Wasted Is A Good Risk To Take.

It Is Much Easier To Repent Of Sins That We Have Committed Than To Repent Of Those That We Intend To Commit.

Thrice Is He Armed That Hath His Quarrel Just, But Four Times He Who Gets His Blow In Fust

Silence Is One Of The Hardest Kind Of Arguments To Refute. There Is No Good Substitute For Wisdom; But Silence Is The Best That Has Yet Been Discovered.

Honesty Is The Rarest Wealth Anyone Can Possess.

There Is A Sort Of Charm In Ugliness, If The Person Has Some Redeeming Qualities And Is Only Ugly Enough.

The Soul Has More Diseases Than The Body.

The Morning Paper Is Just As Necessary For An American As Dew Is To The Grass.

Prejudice Assumes The Garb Of Reason, But The Cheat Is Too Thin.

A Learned Fool Is One Who Has Read Everything And Simply Remembered It.

The Man Who Gets Bit Twice By The Same Dog Is Better Adapted For That Kind Of Business Than Any Other.

You Should Always Live Within Your Income, Even If You Have To Borrow To Do So.

Rivalry And Envy Are Siamese Twins.

The More Humble A Man Is Before God The More He Will Be Exalted; The More Humble He Is Before Man, The More He Will Get Rode Roughshod.

I Have Never Known A Person To Live To Be One Hundred And Be Remarkable For Anything Else.

Ill-nature Is A Sort Of Running Sore Of The Disposition.

When A Man Gets Talking About Himself, He Seldom Fails To Be Eloquent And Often Reaches The Sublime.

There Are Very Few Good Judges Of Humor, And They Don't Agree.

There Are Two Kinds Of Fools: Those Who Can't Change Their Opinions And Those Who Won't.

There Are Only Two Qualities In The World: Efficiency And Inefficiency; And Only Two Sorts Of People: The Efficient And The Inefficient.

Waves Are Inspiring Not Because They Rise And Fail, But Because Each Time They Fall. They Never Fail To Rise Again.

There's A Great Power In Words, If You Don't Hitch Too Many Of Them Together.

It's Not Only The Most Difficult Thing To Know One's Self, But The Most Inconvenient.

The Dog That Will Follow Everbody Ain't Worth A Curse.

Silence Never Makes Any Blunders.

I Never Knew A Man Troubled With Melancholy, Who Had Plenty To Do, And Did It.

It's Not So Hard To Get Rich As It Is To Know When You Have Gotten Rich.

In The Whole History Of The World There Is But One Thing That Money Cannot Buy...to Wit--the Wag Of A Dog's Tail.

Dr. Holmes Says, Both Wittily And Truly, That Crying Widows Are Easiest Consoled.

Ignorance Is The Wet-nurse Of Prejudice.

Health Is Like Money, We Never Have A True Idea Of Its Value Until We Lose It.

It Strains A Man's Philosophy The Worst Kind To Laugh When He Gets Beat.

Woman's Influence Is Powerful, Especially When She Wants Something.

Lying Is Like Trying To Hide In A Fog: If You Move About You're In Danger Of Bumping Your Head Against The Truth, And As Soon As The Fog Blows Off, You Are Gone Anyhow.

Shame Is The Dying Embers Of Virtue.

Where Religion Is A Trade, Morality Is A Merchandise.

Don't Ever Prophesy; For If You Prophesy Wrong, Nobody Will Forget It; And If You Prophesy Right, Nobody Will Remember It.

Don't Mistake Pleasure For Happiness. They Are A Different Breed Of Dogs.

The Trouble With Most Folks Isn't Their Ignorance. It's Knowin' So Many Things That Ain't So.

Biography Is The Best Form Of History.

About The Most Originality That Any Writer Can Hope To Achieve Honestly Is To Steal With Good Judgment.

Remember The Poor, It Costs Nothing.

The Best Condition In Life Is To Be Not So Rich As To Be Envied Nor So Poor As To Be Damned.

Debt Is A Trap Which Man Sets And Baits Himself, And Then Deliberately Gets Into.

Occasions Are Rare; And Those, Who Know How To Seize Upon Them, Are Rarer.

Rare Opportunities

The Less We Know The More We Suspect

Men Who Have Much To Say Use The Fewest Words.

Jealousy Is One Of Love's Parasites.

Music Wasn't Made To Make Us Wise, But Better Natured.

Friendship Is Like Earthenware, Once Broken, It Can Be Mended; Love Is Like A Mirror, Once Broken That Ends It.

If A Man Is Right, He Can't Be Too Radical; If He Is Wrong, He Can't Be Too Conservative.

Hunting After Happiness Is Like Hunting After A Lost Sheep In The Wilderness--when You Find It, The Chances Are That It Is A Skeleton.

Admiration Is A Youthful Fancy Will Which Scarcely Ever Survives To Mature Years.

You Can Reach Stupidity Only With A Cannon Ball.

I Have Lived In This World Just Long Enough To Look Carefully The Second Time Into Things That I Am Most Certain Of The First Time.

Poverty Is One Of Them Kind Of Misfortunes That We All Of Us Dread But None Of Us Pity.

There Is Nothing So Easy To Learn As Experience And Nothing So Hard To Apply.

Silence Is Said To Be Golden, But The Best Fools The World Has Ever Produced Had Nothing To Say On The Subject

Everyone Who Does The Best He Can Is A Hero.

Life Is Short, But It's Long Enough To Ruin Any Man Who Wants To Be Ruined.

It's A Wise Man Who Profits By His Own Experience, But It's A Good Deal Wiser One Who Lets The Rattlesnake Bite The Other Fellow.

Theory Looks Well On Paper, But Does Not Amount To Anything Without Practice.

True Wisdom Is Plenty Of Experience, Observation, And Reflection. False Wisdom Is Plenty Of Ignorance, Arrogance, And Impudence.

Take The Selfishness Out Of This World And There Would Be More Happiness Than We Should Know What To Do With.

We Are Ap Tu Hate Them, Who Wont Take Our Advice, And Despise Them Who Do.

I Think When The Full Horror Of Being Fifty Hits You, You Should Stay Home And Have A Good Cry.

Confess Your Sins To The Lord And You Will Be Forgiven; Confess Them To Man And You Will Be Laughed At.

I Never Question A Success, Any More Than I Do The Right Of A Bulldog To Lie In His Own Gateway.

Most Men Would Rather Be Charged With Malice Than With Making A Blunder.

Be Kind To Your Mother-in-law, But Pay For Her Board At Some Good Hotel.

As A General Thing, When A Woman Wears The Pants In A Family, She Has A Good Right To Them.

Vanity Is A Strange Passion; Rather Than Be Out Of A Job It Will Brag Of Its Vices.

Opinions Should Be Formed With Great Caution, And Changed With Greater.

Advice Maybe Wrong, But Examples Prove Themselves.

When A Man Makes Up His Mind To Become A Rascal, He Should Examine Himself Closely And See If He Isn't Better Constructed For A Fool.

If The World Despises A Hypocrite, What Must They Think Of Him In Heaven?

Method Is The Arithmetic Of Success.

Put An Englishman Into The Garden Of Eden, And He Would Find Fault With The Whole Blasted Concern; Put A Yankee In, And He Would See Where He Could Alter It To Advantage; Put An Irishman In, And He Would Want To Boss The Thing; Put A Dutchman In, And He Would Proceed To Plant It.

The Man Whose Only Pleasure In Life Is Making Money, Weighs Less On The Moral Scale Than An Angleworm.

The Best Medicine I Know For Rheumatism Is To Thank The Lord That It Ain't Gout.

People Travel To Learn; Most Of Them Before They Start Should Learn To Travel.

Trending Author

Anatoli Boukreev

Virginia C. Andrews

Category