Background Image
...
Truly, The Only Stupid People I've Ever Met, The Most Absolutely Clueless, Are The Very People That Produce Television.
-Bill Hicks
...
Please Wait....
Translating....

Truly, The Only Stupid

Bill Hicks
...
Truly, The Only Stupid People I've Ever Met, The Most Absolutely Clueless, Are The Very People That Produce Television.

Understanding the Quote: "truly, the only stupid people i've ever met, the most absolutely clueless,..."

This quote by Bill Hicks reflects deeply on the theme of stupid. It connects to the universal human journey of purpose, motivation, and reflection. Often categorized under Stupid, Clueless, People, the quote offers insight, emotional clarity, and intellectual inspiration to readers worldwide.

Whether you’re a student exploring new ideas, a leader trying to motivate your team, or someone seeking direction in life — this quote provides value. It resonates because it’s more than words — it’s a bridge between experience and wisdom. It shows how Bill Hicks interprets life's core challenges and triumphs.

Lessons From the Quote

This quote teaches resilience and focus. It reminds readers that no matter where they stand in life, reflection and self-awareness lead to growth. Each word has meaning, and when studied, it becomes clear how impactful thoughtful language can be.

About Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks is celebrated for insightful thoughts on stupid and clueless. Their legacy lives on through writings that guide, comfort, and inspire. Discover more on their profile page.

Actionable Takeaways

  • Reflect on how this quote applies to your current life path.
  • Share the message with someone who needs inspiration.
  • Write your thoughts on this quote in a journal or blog post.
  • Use it as a daily affirmation or reminder.

Closing Thoughts

Quotes like this endure because they capture universal truths. They comfort us in solitude and empower us in groups. Carry this quote forward — live by its wisdom, share its message, and keep its essence alive.

Views: 620
Topic
Stupid
Clueless
People
More From Bill Hicks
I Used To Drink, I Did, I Had To Quit. Man, I Was An Embarrassing Drunk. I'd Get Pulled Over By The Cops, I'd Be So Drunk I'd Be Out Dancing To Their Lights Thinking I'd Made It To Another Club.
Men
Thinking
Light
I Have Something To Tell You Non-smokers That I Know For A Fact That You Don't Know, And I Feel It's My Duty To Pass On Information At All Times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers Die Every Day . . . Enjoy Your Evening. See, I Know That You Entertain This Eternal Life Fantasy Because You've Chosen Not To Smoke, But Let Me Be The 1st To Pop That Bubble And Bring You Hurling Back To Reality . . . You're Dead Too.
Reality
Information
Evening
I've Had Good Times On Drugs...bad Times On Drugs...but I've Had Good And Bad Relationships...and I'm Not Giving Up Pussy.
Giving Up
Bad Relationship
Drug
Is It My Business If Somebody Wants To Burn A Flag?...no, It's Not...that's Called Logic And It'll Help Us All Evolve.
Flags
Want
Helping
Sixteen Years I've Pounded My Head Against The Mentality Of America, Which...i'd Say It's About An 8th Grade Emotional Level.
Emotional
Years
America
If You Want To Understand A Society, Take A Good Look At The Drugs It Uses. And What Can This Tell You About American Culture? Well, Look At The Drugs We Use. Except For Pharmaceutical Poison, There Are Essentially Only Two Drugs That Western Civilization Tolerates: Caffeine From Monday To Friday To Energize You Enough To Make You A Productive Member Of Society, And Alcohol From Friday To Monday To Keep You Too Stupid To Figure Out The Prison That You Are Living In.
Friday
Monday
Stupid
My Voice Was Not Heard, The Questions Were Not Asked That I Wanted To See Asked.
Voice
Heard
Wanted
That's Starting To Depress Me About Ufos. The Fact That They Cross Galaxies...and Always End Up In Places Like Fyfe, Alabama.
Depressing
Alabama
Facts
It's Hard To Have A Relationship In This Business...it's Gonna Take A Very Special Woman...or A Bunch Of Average Ones.
Average
Special
Bunch
Why Do We Put People Who Are On Drugs In Jail? They're Sick, They're Not Criminals. Sick People Don't Get Healed In Prison. You See? It Makes No Sense.
Jail
People
Sick
Just A Simple Choice, Right Now, Between Fear And Love. The Eyes Of Fear Want You To Put Bigger Locks On Your Doors, Buy Guns, Close Yourself Off. The Eyes Of Love Instead See All Of Us As One. Here's What We Can Do To Change The World, Right Now, To A Better Ride. Take All That Money We Spend On Weapons And Defenses Each Year And Instead Spend It Feeding And Clothing And Educating The Poor Of The World, Which It Would Pay For Many Times Over, Not One Human Being Excluded, And We Could Explore Space, Together, Both Inner And Outer, Forever, In Peace.
Eye
Gun
Simple
While I've Found Many Of The Religious Shows I've Viewed Over The Years Not To Be To My Liking, Or In Line With My Own Beliefs, I've Never Considered It My Place To Exert Any Greater Type Of Censorship Than Changing The Channel, Or Better Yet - Turning Off The Tv Completely.
Religious
Years
Freedom Of Speech
Surgeon General's Warning Ought To Read: Smoking Has Been Determined T0 Cause Cancer, Heart Disease & Rednecks With Seniority.
Cancer
Heart
Redneck
People Are Bringing Shotguns To Ufo Sightings In Fife, Alabama. I Asked A Guy, "why Do You Bring A Gun To A Ufo Sighting?" Guy Said, "way-ul, We Didn' Wanna Be Ab-duc-ted." If I Lived In Fife, Alabama, I Would Be On My Hands And Knees Every Night Praying For Abduction.
Funny
Humor
Night
Ever Notice That People Who Believe In Creationism Look Really Unevolved? Eyes Real Close Together, Big Furry Hands And Feet. "i Believe God Created Me In One Day." Yeah, Looks Like He Rushed It.
Funny
Believe
Humor
You Watch The News These Days? It's Unbelievable. You Think You Just Walk Out Your Door, You're Immediately Gonna Be Raped By Some Crack-addicted, Aids-infected Pitbull.
Thinking
Doors
Watches
I Was Always 'awake'...some Part Of Me Clamoring For New Insights And New Ways To Make The World A Better Place.
World
Way
Insight
Oh--won't We Party Hard When L.a. Goes Kersplash?...l.a. Fell In The Ocean?... There Is A God. He Loves Us All So Much.
Party
Ocean
Party Hard
I Began Working Quite Young, Writing, Growing, Maturing, Always Striving To Top Myself - To Make People Laugh Hard At Things They Know And Believe Deep In Their Hearts To Be True.
Believe
Writing
Heart
Any Organization Created Out Of Fear Must Create Fear To Survive.
Organization
I Never Got Along With My Dad. Kids Used To Come Up To Me And Say, 'my Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad.' I'd Say 'yeah? When?'
Funny
Motivational
Dad
"smoking May Cause Fetal Injury Or Premature Birth." ... I Found My Brand. Just Don't Get The Ones That Say, "lung Cancer."
Cancer
Smoking
Warning
You Ever Notice That Everyone Who Believes In Creationism Looks Really Un-evolved?
Believe
Looks
Creationism
I Got This Big Fear Of Doing Smoking Jokes In My Act And Showing Up Five Years From Now Goin' [puts Mic To His Neck And Speaks As If He Had A Mechanical Larynx] 'good Evening Everybody, Remember Me, Smoking's Bad. [puts Cigarette To Neck And Mimics Smoking It] Eeww. You Ever Seen Somebody Do That? I've Seen Someone Do That. Let Me Tell You Something — If You're Smoking Out Of A Hole In Your Neck [mimics It Again] I'd Think About Quitting. And That's Just Me, Ya Know.
Thinking
Years
Smoking
Supreme Court Says Pornography Is Anything Without Artistic Merit That Causes Sexual Thoughts, That's Their Definition, Essentially. No Artistic Merit, Causes Sexual Thoughts. Hmm... Sounds Like... Every Commercial On Television, Doesn't It? You Know, When I See Those Two Twins On That Doublemint Commercial? I'm Not Thinking Of Gum. I Am Thinking Of Chewing, So Maybe That's The Connection They're Trying To Make.
Thinking
Two
Trying
Courtroom For Ted Bundy's Trial Is Packed With Women, Trying To Meet Him And Give Him Love Letters And Wedding-fucking-proposals...and The First Thought That Enters My Mind Is, "and I'm Not Getting Laid." What Am I Doing Wrong?
Kings
Giving
Mind
People Tell Me, 'bill, Let It Go. The Kennedy Assassination Was Years Ago. It Was Just The Assassination Of A President And The Hijacking Of Our Government By A Totalitarian Regime - Who Cares? Just Let It Go.' I Say, 'all Right Then. That Whole Jesus Thing? Let It Go! It Was 2,000 Years Ago! Who Cares?'
Jesus
Government
Years
I'm Sorry If Any Of You Are Catholic. I'm Not Sorry If You're Offended, I'm Actually Just Sorry By The Fact That You're Catholic.
Funny
Sorry
Humor
The Whole Image Is That Eternal Suffering Awaits Anyone Who Questions God's Infinite Love. That's The Message We're Brought Up With, Isn't It? Believe Or Die! Thank You, Forgiving Lord, For All Those Options.
Revolutionary Ideas
Forgiving
Suffering
It's Not That I Disagreed With Bush's Economic Policy... I Believed He Was A Child Of Satan Here To Destroy The Planet.
Children
Satan
Economic
If Ur Going To Have A War On Drugs, Have Them Against All Drugs, Including Alcohol, The Number One Offender.
War
Numbers
Alcohol
...i Just Want To Be Free Of The Fears And Anxieties And The Superstitions Of Religion. An 'avenging God'? One Who Created Hell For Those Who Don't Believe? I Thought We Were The Perfect And Holy Children Of God? How Could Any Limits Possibly Be Put Upon Us? Hell.. Really? I'm Sorry, But... No. Wrong. You're Wrong. That's An Insane God And Therefore Not Mine. Because, See, God Would Be Very Sane, Don't You Get It?
Sorry
Children
Believe
Why Is Marijuana Against The Law? It Grows Naturally Upon Our Planet. Doesn’t The Idea Of Making Nature Against The Law Seem To You A Bit . . . Unnatural?
Funny
Weed
Humor
It's My Object To Be Stared At Like A Dog That's Just Been Shown A Card Trick.
Dog
Cards
Card Tricks
How Dare You Have Wino Tell Me Not To Do Drugs.
Drug
Winos
Dare
Your Denial Is Beneath You, And Thanks To The Use Of Hallucinogenic Drugs, I See Through You.
Funny
Humor
Drug
I Don't Get Along With Anything, I Really Don't...i'm, I'm, Maybe I'm Just A, You Know, Incredibly Tasteful Human Being.
Humans
Knows
Human Beings
No, I Don't Do Drugs Anymore, Either. But I'll Tell You Something About Drugs. I Used To Do Drugs, But I'll Tell You Something Honestly About Drugs, Honestly, And I Know It's Not A Very Popular Idea, You Don't Hear It Very Often Anymore, But It Is The Truth: I Had A Great Time Doing Drugs. Sorry. Never Murdered Anyone, Never Robbed Anyone, Never Raped Anyone, Never Beat Anyone, Never Lost A Job, A Car, A House, A Wife Or Kids, Laughed My Ass Off, And Went About My Day.
Jobs
Sorry
Kids
I, Like All Artists In Western Cultures, Am A Shaman...come In The Guise Of A Comic...to Heal Perception By Using...'jokes'.
Artist
Perception
Western Culture
I Believe The Cost Of Life Is Death And We Will All Pay That In Full. Everything Else Should Be A Gift.
Believe
Cost
Pay
The Best Kind Of Comedy To Me Is When You Make People Laugh At Things They've Never Laughed At, And Also Take A Light Into The Darkened Corners Of People's Minds, Exposing Them To The Light.
Light
Laughing
People
I Was Told When I Grew Up I Could Be Anything I Wanted: A Fireman, A Policeman, A Doctor - Even President, It Seemed. And For The First Time In The History Of Mankind, Something New, Called An Astronaut. But Like So Many Kids Brought Up On A Steady Diet Of Westerns, I Always Wanted To Be The Avenging Cowboy Hero - That Lone Voice In The Wilderness, Fighting Corruption And Evil Wherever I Found It, And Standing For Freedom, Truth And Justice. And In My Heart Of Hearts I Still Track The Remnants Of That Dream Wherever I Go, In My Endless Ride Into The Setting Sun.
Dream
Hero
Heart
See We Just Had A Misunderstanding. I Thought We Lived In The U.s. Of A., The United States Of America. But Actually We Live In The U.s. Of A., The United States Of Advertising. Freedom Of Expression Is Guaranteed? If You've Got The Money!
Expression
America
United States
Oh My God. Lift Me Up Out Of This Illusion, Lord. Heal My Perception That I Might Know Only Reality And Only You.
Reality
Perception
Might
And On The Seventh Day, God Stepped Back And Said And Said, "this Is My Creation, Perfect In Every Way... Oh, Dammit I Left All This Pot All Over The Place. Now They'll Think I Want Them To Smoke It... Now I Have To Create Republicans."
Thinking
Perfect
Want
I Am A Misanthropic Humanist... Do I Like People? They're Great, In Theory.
People
Misanthropic
Theory
Ultimately, It Is In Fun. It Is Supposed To Be Highly Entertaining.
Fun
Entertaining
Supposed To Be
It Is Hard To Quit Smoking. Every One Of Them Looks Real Good To Me Right About Now. Every Cigarette Looks Like It Was Made By God, Rolled By Jesus And Moistened Shut With Claudia Schiffer's Pussy.
Jesus
Real
Smoking
I...am An Evolved Being Who Deals Solely With The Source Of Light...in All Of Us In Our Own Minds. No Middleman Required.
Light
Mind
Source
We All Pay For Life With Death, So Everything In Between Should Be Free.
Funny
Life
Humor
They Tell Us "rock'n'roll Is The Devil's Music." Well, Let's Say We Know That Rock Is The Devil's Music, And We Know That It Is, For Sure ... At Least He F-kin' Jams! If It's A Choice Between Eternal Hell And Good Tunes, And Eternal Heaven And New Kids On The F-kin' Block ... I'm Gonna Be Surfin' On The Lake Of Fire, Rockin' Out.
Block
Kids
Fire
You Want A Better World...? Legalize Pot Right Now. ...end The Deficit? Legalize Pot Right Now...biggest Cash Crop In America.
America
World
Cash
Mummy, I Woke Today And There Was A Lincoln Log In Me Sock Drawer! ... That's The Story Of Jesus.
Jesus
Stories
Today
Our Next Cold War Ought To Be With Ourselves...after All, Who Poses The Biggest Danger To The American Environment? We Do.
War
Next
Cold
I Don't Identify With Anyone Historically, But There Are Several People In The Future Who I Am A Dead Ringer For.
Who I Am
People
I Believe That The Bible Is The Literal Word Of God. And I Say No, It's Not, Dad. Well, I Believe That It Is. Well, You Know, Some People Believe They're Napoleon. That's Fine. Beliefs Are Neat. Cherish Them, But Don't Share Them Like They're The Truth.
Dad
Believe
People
Is It Impossible To Imagine Americans Sneaking Into Mexico En Masse, Seeking Regular Employment And A Better Way Of Life?
Employment
Mexico
Way
I'm An American Who Loves An America Which Doesn't Exist, Which Is A Land Of Freedom And Free Ideas.
Land
Ideas
America
Isn't That Weird, We've Made Nature Against The Law. That's How Un-natural We've Become.
Law
Natural
Made
No One Knows What It's Like ... To Be A Dustbin ... In Shaftesbury ... With Hooligans.
Dustbin
Knows
I've Had Seven Balls Of Light Come Off A Ufo...explain To Me Telepathically We Are All One And There's No Such Thing As Death.
Light
Balls
Seven
Keith Richards Outlived Jim Fixx, The Runner And Health-nut Dude. The Plot Thickens.
Nuts
Plot
Keith
People Are Bringing Shotguns To Ufo Sightings...brings A Whole New Meaning To That Phrase 'you Ain't From Around Here, Ar'ya?'
People
Phrases
Shotguns
Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.
Jesus
Kings
Luther
Man, The Beatles Were So High, They Let Ringo Sing A Coupla Tunes. Tell Me They Weren't Partyin'.
Men
Tunes
Ringo
We Killed 6 Innocent People, Launching 22, I Think $3 Million Apiece Missiles On Baghdad...that's A Little Bit Overdoing It.
Thinking
People
Baghdad
If You're So Pro-life, Do Me A Favour: Don't Lock Arms And Block Medical Clinics. If You're So Pro-life, Lock Arms And Block Cemeteries.
Funny
Block
Humor
And If I Can Take Part In It By Transforming My Own Consciousness, Then Someone Else's, I'm Happy To Do It.
Consciousness
Transforming
My Own
What Before Seemed A...frustrating Wall, The Comic Deftly And Fearlessly Steps Through, Proving The Absurdity Of It All.
Wall
Steps
Comic
I Was In A Cab In New York. The Cab Had A Sign, "please Do Not Smoke, Christ Is Our Unseen Guest." This Guy Was Reaching. I Figure, If He Could Overcome Being Nailed To A Cross, I Don't Think A Marlboro Light's Gonna Faze Him That Much.
New York
Thinking
Light
I Love The Pope, I Love Seeing Him In His Pope-mobile, His Three Feet Of Bullet Proof Plexi-glass. That's Faith In Action Folks! You Know He's Got God On His Side.
Funny
Humor
Glasses
You Know We Armed Iraq. I Wondered About That Too, You Know During The Persian Gulf War Those Intelligence Reports Would Come Out: "iraq: Incredible Weapons - Incredible Weapons." How Do You Know That? "uh, Well... We Looked At The Receipts."
Funny
War
Humor
Not All Drugs Are Good.. Some Of Them Are Great
Drug
How Come People Always Flip And Think They're Jesus? Why Not Buddha? Particularly In America, Where More People Resemble Buddha Than Jesus. 'ah'm Buddha!' 'you're Bubba!' 'ah'm Buddha Now..all I Gotta Do Is Change 3 Letters On Ma Belt.
Jesus
Thinking
America
We Really Are All One....this Is The Very Philosophy That Has Kept Me Virtually Anonymous In America For Fifteen Years.
Philosophy
Years
America
I Believe That There Is An Equality To All Humanity. We All Suck.
Believe
Revolutionary Ideas
Humanity
As Long As One Person Lives In Darkness Then It Seems To Be A Responsibility To Tell Other People.
Responsibility
Long
People
The Waitress Comes Over To Me Like, 'what'chu Readin' For?' I Had Never Been Asked That. Not 'what Am I Reading?' But 'what Am I Reading For?' Goddammit, You Stumped Me. Hmm, Why Do I Read? I Suppose I Read For A Lot Of Reasons, One Of The Main Ones Being So I Don't End Up Being A... Waffle Waitress.
Book
Reading
Waffles
Sometimes You Feel In Control, And It's Great, But Sometimes You Just Don't Feel In Control And You Really Have To Struggle To Get Laughs.
Struggle
Laughing
Sometimes
Laughter Makes The Bitter Swallowing Of Truth, For Some, A Little Easier.
Laughter
Swallowing
Littles
Just A Simple Choice, Right Now, Between Fear And Love. The Eyes Of Fear Want You To Put Bigger Locks On Your Doors, Buy Guns, Close Yourself Off. The Eyes Of Love Instead See All Of Us As One.
Fear
Eye
Gun
Sometimes My Dad Even Gets On This Kick--'you Hate This Country'....i Have To Tell Him...i Just Hate Being Lied To.
Country
Dad
Hate
Eternal Suffering Awaits Anyone Who Questions God's Infinite Love.
Atheist
Revolutionary Ideas
Suffering
Will There Be Titty? Sure. Boom! I'm A Producer. Where You Been All Our Life, Boy? We Been Lookin For You In Hollywood.
Boys
Hollywood
Producers
The World Is Like A Ride In An Amusement Park. And When You Choose To Go On It You Think It's Real Because That's How Powerful Our Minds Are. And The Ride Goes Up And Down And Round And Round. It Has Thrills And Chills And It's Very Brightly Coloured And It's Very Loud And It's Fun, For A While. Some People Have Been On The Ride For A Long Time And They Begin To Question: "is This Real, Or Is This Just A Ride?" And Other People Have Remembered, And They Come Back To Us, They Say, "hey, Don't Worry, Don't Be Afraid, Ever, Because This Is Just A Ride." And We Kill Those People.
Life
Fun
Powerful
Be Yourself On Stage. Nobody Else Can Be You And You Have The Law Of Supply And Demand Covered.
Being Yourself
Law
Demand
People Always Snap And Think They're Jesus. How Come No One Ever Snaps And Thinks They're Buddha?
Jesus
Thinking
People
Why Is Marijuana Against The Law? It Grows Naturally On Our Planet, Serves A Thousand Different Functions, All Of Them Positive. To Make Marijuana Against The Law Is Like Saying That God Made A Mistake.
Mistake
Marijuana
Law
I Hate Patriotism... I Can't Stand It. It's A Round World Last Time I Checked.
Hate
Lasts
World
Life Is Only A Dream, And We Are The Imagination Of Ourselves.
Funny
Dream
Revolutionary Ideas
What's Gonna Happen To The Arms Industry When We Realize We're All One. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! It's Gonna Fuck Up The Economy! The Economy That's Fake Anyway! Ha Ha Ha! Which Would Be A Real Bummer. You Know. You Can See Why The Government's Cracking Down... On The Idea Of Experiencing Unconditional Love, Ah.
Government
Arms
Realizing
I Am Available For Children's Parties, By The Way.
Children
Party
Way
I Don't Do Drugs Anymore... Than, Say, The Average Touring Funk Band.
Funny
Humor
Average
When You're...stepping Over A Guy On The Sidewalk...does It Ever Occur To You To Think, 'wow. Maybe Our System Doesn't Work?'
Thinking
Guy
Doe
To Me Pornography Is...spending All Your Money And Not Educating The People In America, But Spending It Instead On Weapons.
America
People
Weapons
I Go To Dance Clubs...about Once A Year Just To Justify The Other 364 Days I Spend In My Apartment Going 'god, What Idiots!'
Years
Clubs
Idiot
How Many Of Y'all Wondered, Like I Did, During The La Riots When Those People Were Being Pulled Out Of Their Trucks And Beaten Half To Death - Step On The F***ing Gas, Man! They're On Foot, You're In A Truck - I Think I See A Way Out Of This.
Men
Thinking
Feet
Why Is Pot Against The Law? It Wouldn't Be Because Anyone Can Grow It, And Therefore You Can't Make A Profit Off It, Would It?
Law
Pot
Profit
It's Really Weird How Your Life Changes. Tonight I'm Drinking Water. Four Years Ago? Opium. Night And Day, You Know?
Life Changing
Drinking
Night
Rock Stars Hawking Diet Cokes--are Demons Set Loose On The Earth To Lower The Standards For The Perfect & Holy Children Of God!
Stars
Children
Rocks
I Guess What Surprised Me The Most Was The Discrepancy In Casualties: Iraq, One Hundred Fifty Thousand Casualties, Usa: Seventy-nine! Let's Go Over Those Numbers Again, They're A Little Baffling At First: Iraq: 150,000, Usa: 79. Does That Mean We Could Have Won With Only 80 Guys There? Just One Guy In A Ticker-tape Parade, "i Did It! Hey!"
Mean
Usa
Iraq
Btw A 24 Week Old Embryo Is Not A Human Being. You're Not A Human Being Until You're In My Phone Book.
Book
Phones
Stupidity
I Believe That God Left Certain Drugs Growing Naturally Upon Our Planet To Help Speed Up And Facilitate Our Evolution.
Believe
Drug
Growing
What Kind Of People Are These With Such Low Self-esteem That They Need A War To Feel Better About Themselves?
War
Self Esteem
Feel Better
I've Been On What I Call My Ufo Tour, Which Means, Like Ufos, I Too Have Been Appearing In Small Southern Towns In Front Of A Handful Of Hillbillies Lately.
Southern
Flying
Towns
We Are One With God And He Loves Us. Now If That Isn't A Hazard To This Country-how're We Gonna Keep Building Nuclear Weapons?
Country
Hazards
Nuclear
Pornography Is Any Act That Has No Artistic Merit And Causes Sexual Thoughts...sounds Like Almost Every Commercial On Tv To Me.
Sound
Causes
Tvs
Listen, The Next Revolution Is Gonna Be A Revolution Of Ideas.
Ideas
Revolutionary Ideas
Next
Christianity Has A Built-in Defense System: Anything That Questions A Belief, No Matter How Logical The Argument Is, Is The Work Of Satan By The Very Fact That It Makes You Question A Belief. It's A Very Interesting Defense Mechanism And The Only Way To Get By It -- And Believe Me, I Was Raised Southern Baptist -- Is To Take Massive Amounts Of Mushrooms, Sit In A Field, And Just Go, "show Me.".
Believe
Mushrooms
Interesting
That's Why I Always Recommend A Psychedelic Experience Because It Makes You Realize That All You've Learned Is In Fact Just Learned And Not Necessarily The Truth.
Drug
Facts
Psychedelic
When Two Or More People Agree On An Issue, I Form On The Other Side.
Funny
Humor
Two
I've Said All That I've Had To Say.
Said
Last Words
Nonsmokers--this Is For You And You Only. Ready? Nonsmokers Die Every Day. Sleep Tight.
Sleep
Ready
Dies
No One Can Give You Any Answers. There Aren't Any. You Have To Discover For Yourself-you Must Learn To Navigate The Mystery.
Giving
Answers
Mystery
I Don't Know What You All Believe, And I Don't Really Care ... But You Have To Admit That Beliefs Are Odd. Lots Of Christians Wear Crosses Around Their Necks ... You Really Think When Jesus Comes Back, He Ever Wants To See A Fucking Cross?
Christian
Jesus
Kings
So, It's Good To Be Here, Wherever I Am.
Women Priests. Great, Great. Now There's Priests Of Both Sexes I Don't Listen To.
Funny
Atheist
Sex
I'm A Heavy Smoker. I Go Through Two Lighters A Day.
Funny
Humor
Two
We Are Losing The 'war On Drugs,' Which Means There's A War Going On And People On Drugs Are Winning It.
War
Mean
Winning
Childbirth Is No More A Miracle Then Eating Food And A Turd Coming Out Of Your Ass.
Miracle
Ass
Eating
All Day Long You See Those Commercials: 'here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and The Next Commercial Is: 'this Bud's For You.'
Long
Brain
Bud
In Australia...they Celebrate Easter The Same...by Telling Our Children A Giant Bunny Rabbit...left Chocolate Eggs In The Night
Easter
Children
Night
I Find It Ironic That People Who Are Against Things That Cause Sexual Thoughts Are Generally Fundamentalist Christians Who Also Believe You Should Be Fruitful And Multiply.
Christian
Believe
People
Billy Ray Cyrus Does Not Smoke. Michael Bolton Doesn't...paula Abdul Doesn't...there Does Seem To Be A Pattern.
Rays
Doe
Patterns
It's You People Dying From Nothing That Are Screwed. I Got All Sorts Of Neat Gadgets Waiting For Me...oxygen Tent, Iron Lung.
Oxygen
Iron
People
Today A Young Man On Acid Realized That All Matter Is Merely Energy Condensed To A Slow Vibration, That We Are All One Consciousness Experiencing Itself Subjectively, There Is No Such Thing As Death, Life Is Only A Dream, And We Are The Imagination Of Ourselves. Here's Tom With The Weather.
Funny
Dream
Witty
All Your Beliefs, They're Just That. They're Nothing. They're How You Were Taught And Raised. That Doesn't Make 'em Real.
Real
Ems
Taught
Oh Sorry, I Was Taking Life Seriously.
Funny
Sorry
Humor
You Ever Noticed How People Who Believe In Creationism Look Really Un-evolved? You Ever Noticed That? Eyes Real Close Together, Eyebrow Ridges, Big Furry Hands And Feet. "i Believe God Created Me In One Day". Yeah, Looks Like He Rushed It
Real
Believe
Eye
If I Thought The Jews Killed God, I'd Worship The Jews.
Atheist
Atheism
Agnostic
I Left In Love, In Laughter, And In Truth, And Wherever Truth, Love And Laughter Abide, I Am There In Spirit.
Happiness
Laughter
Revolutionary Ideas
But Where Did This Veneration Of Childbirth Come From? I Missed That Meeting. Childbirth Is Wonderful, Childbirth Is A Miracle. Wrong. It's No More A Miracle Than Eating Food And A Turd Coming Out Your Ass.
Sex
Miracle
Wonderful
Do I Have A Message? Yes, I Do. Here's My Message: As Scary As The World Is – And It Is – It Is Merely A Ride ...
Scary
World
Messages
To Make Marijuana Against The Law Is Like Saying God Made A Big Mistake.
Weed
Mistake
Marijuana
They Proved That If You Quit Smoking, It Will Prolong Your Life. What They Haven't Proved Is That A Prolonged Life Is A Good Thing. I Haven't Seen The Stats On That Yet.
Life
Smoking
Comedian
[comedy] Is An Escape From Illusions. The Audience Is...thinking, 'this Bullshit We See And Hear All Day Makes No Sense.'
Thinking
Bullshit
Comedy
The World's Like A Ride In A Fairground & When You Choose To Go On It You Think It's Real, That's How Powerful Our Minds Are
Powerful
Real
Thinking
It Seems To Me That There Will Be A Point In Out Development Or Our Evolution Where You Put Your Guns Aside.
Gun
Development
Evolution
Yesterday, Some Hooligans Knocked Over A Dustbin In Shaftesbury.
Yesterday
Dustbin
That's What I Hate About The War On Drugs. All Day Long We See Those Commercials: "here's Your Brain, Here's Your Brain On Drugs", "just Say No", "why Do You Think They Call It Dope?" … And Then The Next Commercial Is [singing] "this Bud's For Yooouuuu." C'mon, Everybody, Let's Be Hypocritical Bastards. It's Okay To Drink Your Drug. We Meant Those Other Drugs. Those Untaxed Drugs. Those Are The Ones That Are Bad For You.
Hate
War
Dope
Shut Up! Go Back To Bed, America. Your Government Is In Control. Here's Love Connection. Watch This And Get Fat And Stupid.
Stupid
Government
America
Go Back To Bed America, Your Government Is In Control Again. Go Back To Bed America... You Are Free To Do As We Tell You... You Are Free To Do As We Tell You.
Government
America
Bed
Okay, I Got One Word To Ask You, A One Word Question, Ready?
Okay
Ready
One Word
It's An Insane World, And I'm Proud To Be A Part Of It.
Insane World
Insane
World
The Voice Of Reason Is In Us All...and Everyone Can Recognize It Because It Makes Sense And Everyone Benefits From It Equally.
Voice
Benefits
Reason
I'd...bet Enthusiasm For 'ethnic Cleansing' Will Wane If Only Sticks And Rocks Are Available For The Warring Parties.
Party
Rocks
Enthusiasm
Speaking Of Satan, I Was Watching Rush Limbaugh The Other Day.
Satan
Don't Worry; Don't Be Afraid, Ever, Because This Is Just A Ride.
Tattoo
Revolutionary Ideas
Worry
I'm Just Trying To Rid The World Of All These Fevered Egos That Are Tainting Our Collective Unconscious.
Collective Unconscious
Ego
Trying
This Is Where We Are At Right Now, As A Whole. No One Is Left Out Of The Loop. We Are Experiencing A Reality Based On A Thin Veneer Of Lies And Illusions. A World Where Greed Is Our God And Wisdom Is Sin, Where Division Is Key And Unity Is Fantasy, Where The Ego-driven Cleverness Of The Mind Is Praised, Rather Than The Intelligence Of The Heart.
Lying
Heart
Reality
Humanity Is Just A Virus With Shoes.
Shoes
Humanity
Viruses
It's All About Money, Not Freedom. If You Think You're Free, Try Going Somewhere Without Money, Okay?
Thinking
Trying
Okay
Writing, Acting, Music, Comedy. A Deep Love Of Literature And Books. Thank God For All The Artists Who've Helped Me.
Book
Writing
Artist
I'm Just Skin Covering Coffee And Some Real Nervous Teeth.
Real
Coffee
Skins
I Don't Mean To Sound Bitter, Cold, Or Cruel, But I Am, So That's How It Comes Out.
Funny
Humor
Mean
I Love Talking About Kennedy Assassination...a Great Archetypal Example Of How Totalitarian Government...sorry, Wrong Meeting.
Sorry
Government
Talking
How Do I Know The Bible Isn't The Word Of God? Well If It Was The Word Of God It Would Be Clear And Easy To Understand...considering God Was The Creator Of Language!
Atheist
Religion
Atheism
They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer
Want
Docile
Apathetic
I'm Not Into Those Kind Of Rivalries. I Remember Standing Out In Front Of Stratford, Minding My Own Business. Carload Of About Eighty Kids Would Pull Up: 'stratford Sucks!' Am I Supposed To Run After These Guys? I'd Just Stand There, You Know. They'd Back Up. 'stratford Sucks! ...stratford Sucks!' I'd Say, 'i Know. I Go There. You're Wasting Gas, Man.
Running
Kids
Men
They Believe The Bible Is The Exact Word Of God - Then They Change The Bible! Pretty Presumptuous, Hu Huh? "i Think What God Meant To Say..."
Believe
Thinking
Word Of God
Children Are Smarter Than Any Of Us. Know How I Know That? I Don't Know One Child With A Full Time Job And Children.
Funny
Jobs
Children
I Can't Watch Tv Longer Than Five Minutes Without Praying For Nuclear Holocaust.
Funny
Humor
Revolutionary Ideas
It Has Become More And More Obvious That There Is One Political Party In America, And That Is The Business Party.
Party
America
Political
All Governments Are Lying Cocksuckers.
Lying
Government
The Puppet On The Right Shares My Beliefs, The Puppet On The Left Is More To My Liking. Hey...there's One Guy Holding Up Both!
Guy
Hey
Puppets
You All Saw Him - He Had A Gun.
Gun
Saws
I Get A Kick Out Of Being An Outsider Constantly. It Allows Me To Be Creative.
Bullying
Revolutionary Ideas
Creative
I Saw...a Kid On A Leash. You Seen These People? Kid On A Leash? How Horrible. Put Him In The Pound Where He Belongs.
Kids
People
Saws
It's Always Funny Until Someone Gets Hurt. Then It's Just Hilarious.
Funny
Hurt
Comedian
I Used To Love To Call L.a. When I Lived In New York... Is That The Big One I Hear In The Background? Bye, You Lizard Scum! Bye!
New York
Bye
Scum
I Loved When Bush Came Out And Said, 'we Are Losing The War Against Drugs.' You Know What That Implies? There's A War Being Fought, And The People On Drugs Are Winning It.
Funny
War
Humor
I'm Totally Confused About What I'm Going To Do With My Life.
Confused
I Do Not Believe Making Money In Order To Consume Goods Is Mankind's Sole Purpose On This Planet.
Believe
Order
Purpose
I'll Smoke, I'll Cough, I'll Get The Tumors, I'll Die, Deal? Thank You America. [salutes]
America
Salute
Deals
I Saw A Sign On The Side Of The Road In Tennessee Once That Said 'dirt For Sale'... What A Great Country We Live In. Dirt For Sale. How Would You Like To Get Inside That Guy's Mind And Look Around For A Hour? That Guy Sees Opportunity At Every Glance, Doesn't He?
Country
Opportunity
Guy
It's Not A War On Drugs, It's A War On Personal Freedom.
War
Drug
Personal Freedom
What Did Moths Bump Into Before The Electric Light Bulb Was Invented? Boy, The Lightbulb Really Screwed The Moth Up Didn't It? Are There Moths On Their Way To The Sun Now Going, It's Gonna Be Worth It!.
Boys
Light
Sun
You're Not A Human Till You're In My Phone Book. There. My Hat Is Now In The Political Ring.
Book
Phones
Political
What Do You Say We Lighten Things Up And Talk About Abortion?
Abortion
People Often Ask Me Where I Stand Politically. It's Not That I Disagree With Bush's Economic Policy Or His Foreign Policy, It's That I Believe He Was A Child Of Satan Sent Here To Destroy The Planet Earth. Little To The Left.
Children
Believe
People
If You Don't Think Drugs Have Done Good Things For Us, Then Take All Of Your Records, Tapes And Cd's And Burn Them.
Thinking
Cds
Political
I Need My Sleep. I Need About Eight Hours A Day, And About Ten At Night.
Sleep
Night
Eight
I'm Glad Mushrooms Are Against The Law, Because I Took Them One Time, And You Know What Happened To Me? I Laid In A Field Of Green Grass For Four Hours Going, "my God! I Love Everything." Yeah, Now If That Isn't A Hazard To Our Country... How Are We Gonna Justify Arms Dealing When We Realize That We're All One?
Country
Law
Mushrooms
'where's Bill Going?' He's Going To Comedy Death. Boom! He Pops Out Of It With Another Joke. It's My Particular Style.
Style
Bills
Comedy
If You Are Living For Tomorrow, You Will Always Be One Day Behind.
One Day
Tomorrow
Behinds
I'll Tell You How To Solve This Abortion Thing...those Unwanted Babies...? Leave About 12 Of Them On The Supreme Court Steps.
Baby
Abortion
Steps
What Does An Atheist Scream When They Come?
Atheist
Doe
Scream
I Wouldn't Give Satan A Snowball's Chance In Hell Against A Woman's Ego.
Giving
Ego
Chance
And I'm Not Getting Laid! What Am I Doing Wrong?
Getting Laid
Let Me Tell You About Gays In The Military. I Don't Want Any Gay People Hanging Around Me While I'm Killing Kids. I Just Don't Want To See It.
Funny
Military
Humor
A Lotta Christians Wear Crosses 'round Their Necks; Do You Think If Jesus Comes Back He Ever Wants To See Another Cross?
Christian
Jesus
Thinking
I Think It's Interesting How People Act On Their Beliefs. A Lot Of Christians, For Instance, Wear Crosses Around Their Necks. Nice Sentiment, But Do You Think When Jesus Comes Back, He's Really Going To Want To Look At A Cross?
Christian
Jesus
Nice
That's What I'm Gonna Do: Quit Gradually...i'm Gonna Lose One Lung; Little While Later I'm Gonna Lose The Other One.
Littles
Quitting
Lungs
In The Beginning God Created The Heavans And The Earth... See You At The Final.
Finals
Earth
Rock Stars Against Drugs--that's What We Want, Isn't It? Government-approved Rock-n-roll? Woo! We're Partying Now!
Stars
Party
Rocks
I Don't Care If You're Obscene, Filthy, Horrendous -- As Long As You're Honest.
Long
Care
Honest
To Me, Texas Is Austin, A Bunch Of Cool People Trying To Make A Difference.
Texas
Differences
People
I Believe It Is Our Own Misperceptions Of Who We Really Are That Leads To Every Self-created Hell You'll Find In This World.
Believe
Self
World
Watching Television Is Like Taking Black Spray Paint To Your Third Eye.
Inspirational
Funny
Eye
I Just Have One Of Those Faces. People Come Up To Me And Say, 'what's Wrong?' Nothing. 'well, It Takes More Energy To Frown Than It Does To Smile.' Yeah, You Know It Takes More Energy To Point That Out Than It Does To Leave Me Alone?
Funny
Humor
People
Trending Author
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
David Beckham
Alphonse Karr
Neal Schon
Marc Chagall
Mario Puzo
Category
Information