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To Minimize My Guilt At Going To The Pictures - To Call This Wanton Pursuit Of An Effete Pleasure By Another Name - I Needed Movie Companions As Drunkards Need Drinking Partners. If I Entered A Cinema Alone, God Might Plunge His Arm Through The Roof Of The Auditorium Booming In A Stereophonic Voice, 'and You, Crisp, What Are You Doing Here?' I Would Never Have Dared Reply, 'i'm Just Enjoying Myself, Lord.'

-Quentin Crisp

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To Minimize My Guilt

Quentin Crisp

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To Minimize My Guilt At Going To The Pictures - To Call This Wanton Pursuit Of An Effete Pleasure By Another Name - I Needed Movie Companions As Drunkards Need Drinking Partners. If I Entered A Cinema Alone, God Might Plunge His Arm Through The Roof Of The Auditorium Booming In A Stereophonic Voice, 'and You, Crisp, What Are You Doing Here?' I Would Never Have Dared Reply, 'i'm Just Enjoying Myself, Lord.'

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I Don't Really Act. I Say The Words The Way I Would Say Them If I Meant Them.

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The Idea That He Would Take His Attention Away From The Universe In Order To Give Me A Bicycle With Three Speeds Is Just So Unlikely I Can't Go Along With It.

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People Are Not Heterosexual Or Homosexual, Just Sexual.

There Is No Need To Do Any Housework At All. After The First Four Years The Dirt Doesn't Get Any Worse.

I Never Really Found Out What Love Was.

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Sex Is The Last Refuge Of The Miserable.

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If One Is Not Going To Take The Necessary Precautions To Avoid Having Parents, One Must Undertake To Bring Them Up.

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If You Truly Love Me, Kill The Bartender.

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I Never Miss England.

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The Court Was Not Previously Aware Of The Prisoner's Many Accomplishments. In View Of These, We See Fit To Impose The Death Penalty.

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The Worst Part Of Being Gay In The Twentieth Century Is All That Damn Disco Music To Which One Has To Listen.

Love Is Not Enough. It Must Be The Foundation, The Cornerstone - But Not The Complete Structure. It Is Much Too Pliable, Too Yielding.

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The Proprietor Had Hair So Red That Pigmentation Had Flowed Out Into Every Visible Inch Of His Skin And Even Into The Pinks Of His Eyes, As The Colour Of Flowering Cherry Trees Stains Their Leaves.

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The Young Always Have The Same Problem - How To Rebel And Conform At The Same Time. They Have Now Solved This By Defying Their Parents And Copying One Another.

What I Wanted Most Of All Was To Use Sex As A Weapon To Allure, Subjugate, And, If Possible, Destroy The Personality Of Others.

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The Measure Of Woman's Distaste For Any Part Of Her Life Lies Not In The Loudness Of Her Lamentations (these Are Only An Attempt To Buy A Martyr's Crown At A Reduced Price) But In Her Persistent Pursuit Of That Occupation Of Which She Never Ceases To Complain.

Believe In Fate, But Lean Forward Where Fate Can See You.

As Soon As A Person Takes A Part As A Homosexual, The Press Says, "what Do Your Wife And Children Think Of This?" And The Actor Never Says, "well, Last Week I Was A Murderer, And The Week Before That I Was A Child Molester, And The Week Before That I Was A Lunatic. But Now I'm A Homosexual."

It Is Not The Simple Statement Of Facts That Ushers In Freedom; It Is The Constant Repetition Of Them That Has This Liberating Effect. Tolerance Is The Result Not Of Enlightenment, But Of Boredom.

Now You Can Leave Home At Any Time You Like.your Mother Comes Down And Finds A Picture Of The Eiffel Tower On Her Plate. And She Says, 'oh! Rosemary's Gone To Paris. No Wonder The Bathroom Was So Tidy.' And Nobody Minds. But In My Day, To Go Abroad With All Those Wicked Frenchmen, What Would Become Of Them? So No-one Ever Went Anywhere.

I Became One Of The Stately Homos Of England.

You Don't Have To Do Anything.

I've Never Not Been Famous.

It May Be True That Artists Adopt A Flamboyant Appearance, But It's Also True That People Who Look Funny Get Stuck With The Arts.

To Lose Is Not Always Failure.

I Stay In One Room, And It's Easier To Live There, To Control It, To Make It Warm. It Seems To Me A Convenient Way To Live, And It's Cheap.

Fashion Is A Way Of Not Having To Decide Who You Are. Style Is Deciding Who You Are And Being Able To Perpetuate It.

I Learned Very Early In Life That I Was Always Going To Need People More Than They Needed Me

Women Have Decided To Be People, Which Is A Great Mistake. Women Were Nicer Than People.

Flowers Are Words Even A Baby Can Understand.

I Am Told That You Regret Not What You Did But What You Didn't Do; And So That's Why I Do Everything, So As Not To Have Any Regrets.

Vice Is Its Own Reward.

I Now Realize That Education Is A Last Wild Effort On The Part Of The Authorities To Prevent An Overdose Of Leisure From Driving The World Mad. Learning Is No Longer An Improver; It Is Merely The Most Expensive Time-filler The World Has Ever Known.

Did You Know That Allah Promises You A Seat In Paradise If You Kill A Christian?

The ... Problem That Confronts Homosexuals Is That They Set Out To Win The Love Of A "real" Man. If They Succeed, They Fail. A Man Who "goes With" Other Men Is Not What They Would Call A Real Man. The Conundrum Is Incapable Of Resolution, But That Does Not Make Homosexuals Give It Up.

The World Was Very Feminine When I Was Young. And Now It's Very Masculine.

Politics Are Not An Instrument For Effecting Social Change; They Are The Art Of Making The Inevitable Appear To Be A Matter Of Wise Human Choice.

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Exhibitionism Is Like A Drug. Hooked In Adolescence I Was Now Taking Doses So Massive They Would Have Killed A Novice.

All This Cut-price Transcendentalism Does Not Prevent California From Being A Startlingly Physical State. This Becomes Most Obvious Where Los Angeles Saunters Down To The Sea. The Region Is Called Venice.

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You Can't Be A Person And A Lady. If You're A Person, You Can Open The Damned Door Yourself.

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To Minimize My Guilt At Going To The Pictures - To Call This Wanton Pursuit Of An Effete Pleasure By Another Name - I Needed Movie Companions As Drunkards Need Drinking Partners. If I Entered A Cinema Alone, God Might Plunge His Arm Through The Roof Of The Auditorium Booming In A Stereophonic Voice, 'and You, Crisp, What Are You Doing Here?' I Would Never Have Dared Reply, 'i'm Just Enjoying Myself, Lord.'

Los Angeles Is Just New York Lying Down.

The Gymnasiacs Of Venice, In California, Are So Addicted To These Practices That There Has Arisen A Nation Of Men Who Can No Longer Put Their Arms Against Their Sides

I Came First To America In 1977 At The Invitation Of A Man Who Wanted To Make My Life Story Into A Musical. But My Agent Said It Was Not To Be And It Was Never Done. So I Went Back, But I'd Seen New York, And I Wanted To Live There. Because Everybody Talks To You In The Street. See, Nobody Talks To You In England.

Life Is A Game In Which The Rules Are Constantly Changing; Nothing Spoils A Game More Than Those Who Take It Seriously. Adultery? Phooey! You Should Never Subjugate Yourself To Another Nor Seek The Subjugation Of Someone Else To Yourself. If You Follow That Crispian Principle You Will Be Able To Say Phooey, Too, Instead Of Reaching For Your Gun When You Fancy Yourself Betrayed.

If I Were God - And I Never Understand Why I'm Not - I Should Say, "shop Around, I Don't Think You'll Find A Better Bargain Than Here."

Central Europe Is Full Of Little Countries Standing Shoulder To Shoulder With No Window To The Sea. They Are Like The Passengers In A Rush-hour Train Which Has Stopped Between Stations For Three Centuries. And They All Hate One Another. And They're All Crushed Together Waving Their National Flags, Clanking Their National Chains, Jabbering Their National Language.

I Approach My Life With Logic. I Do Not Act On Impulse Or Emotion. I Very Seldom Find That I Say, 'and Then I Can't Think What Came Over Me, But I Did This Or That Or The Other.' I Nearly Always Know How I Will Act And I Nearly Always Act In That Way. I Don't Catch Myself Out In Embarrassing Situations Because I've Acted Without Forethought. I Calculate What I Will Do.

Euphemisms Are Not, As Many Young People Think, Useless Verbiage For That Which Can And Should Be Said Bluntly; They Are Like Secret Agents On A Delicate Mission, They Must Airily Pass By A Stinking Mess With Barely So Much As A Nod Of The Head, Make Their Point Of Constructive Criticism And Continue On In Calm Forbearance. Euphemisms Are Unpleasant Truths Wearing Diplomatic Cologne.

I Am A Stereotype. I Am An Effeminate Man.

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Edgar Lee Masters

Wentworth Miller

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