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The Same Thing I Did In 2013 Is What I'm Trying To Do In 2014, Which Is Continue To Improve, Continue To Shock People. You Know, I Have Several Projects Coming Up Between 2014 And 2015, And Hopefully By 2015, I'll Have Another Hour Of Stand-up Material Where I'll Be Able To Go On The Road And Tour Again.

-Kevin Hart

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The Same Thing I

Kevin Hart

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The Same Thing I Did In 2013 Is What I'm Trying To Do In 2014, Which Is Continue To Improve, Continue To Shock People. You Know, I Have Several Projects Coming Up Between 2014 And 2015, And Hopefully By 2015, I'll Have Another Hour Of Stand-up Material Where I'll Be Able To Go On The Road And Tour Again.

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I'm Not The Most Attractive Fella. I'm Not A Billy Dee Williams. Personality Is Everything.

Stand-up Can Take You In So Many Different Places, Man. So Many Doors Can Be Opened Up From Stand-up Comedy, And The First One That Was Opened Up For Me Was Acting.

My Son Is Becoming Me - Just A Silly, Silly Prankster Guy.

I Don't Write Material. Funny Things Happen To Me In The Course Of A Day, And I Just Make Notes.

Because I'm Small, I've Been Called Things From 'happy Feet' To 'little Face.'

My Goals Are So High.

Every Relationship Should Eventually Become A Long-term Relationship. Any Director That I Meet Now Isn't Just A Director. He's Potentially A Friend, And Someone I Can Call To Do A Project That I Want Or That I Have. That's What I Mean When I Say Branding And Developing Yourself, As A Business.

I Only Wanna Go Up The Steps Toward A Different Level Of Stardom. The Bet Awards Was One Of Those Steps, The Vmas Was Another Huge Step. And The Next Step, Eventually, Hopefully, Would Be The Oscars.

I Think Sometimes Celebrities Get So Big, They're Not Reachable.

Expect Me To Continue What I've Been Doing, Which Is Trying To Take Over The World.

I'm Pretty Much An Open Book. I've Pretty Much Talked About Anything I'm Going Through Onstage. Between Interviews And Curious Fans, I've Been Asked Everything. And I Always Give Answers. I Don't Shy Away From Anything.

The Second Time Around I'll Understand That, As A Husband, My Wife Doesn't Care About My Opinions. I Just Need To Tell Her The Things That Will Continue To Help Me Stack The Brownie Points.

I Don't Want Enemies. I Want Friends, And I Want Them In All Shapes, Sizes, And Colors, And Loving Whoever They Want To.

The Thing About Impressing Your Girlfriend Is That When You Do Something Like A Private Island In Fiji, It's All Downhill From That Point.

I'm Good Friends With Jay Leno, Good Friends With Ed O'neill, Melanie Fiona And Russell Simmons.

I Never Thought In A Million Years That I'd Ever Sell Out Back-to-back Shows At The Garden. That's Not To Say, I Never Expected My Career To Take Off. Still, It Was A "pinch Me, Wake Me Up" Moment. I Was Like, "wow! I Can't Believe This. That I'm Actually Here, And This Is Actually Happening." And In That Moment, When I Was About To Thank My Fans For Supporting Me, I Noticed That They Were Standing Up Clapping. It Was Overwhelming, And Became A Very Emotional Moment When I Tried To Thank Them.

The Only Time You Should Look Back In Life, Is To See How Far You Have Come.

I Don't Have Ex's! I Have Y's. Like 'y The Hell Did I Date You?!

Some Sarcasm Is Best Told Simply.

Winners Are The Ones Who Want The Most Out Of Their Opportunities.

You've Gotta Understand That With Branding And The Way Things Are Promoted, In Our Day And Age, Your Older Movie Stars Are Not Reachable Or Accessible Because They're Not A Part Of The Whole Social Media World.

I'm Trying To Maintain A Level Of Realness That My Fans Can Appreciate.

I Don't Know About Other People, But I Love To Work.

The Beauty Of Me Being On Stage Is I Have A Voice.

No Man Wants To Settle Down. It Happens. Eventually You're Going To Bump Into Somebody That Makes You Go, 'hmm, I Don't Mind Seeing This Person Every Day.'

My Road To Success Was A Long Road To Success Was A Long Road. You Get Out Of Something What You Put Into It. I Put Blood, Sweat And Tears Into Stand-up Comedy And The Entertainment Realm In General. For Me To Just Know Be Coming Around Is A Blessing. It's A Blessing And It's An Honor. It Makes Me Say I Can Get More And I Can Do More.

My Rule Is To Save Myself First.

I'm A Buffalo Wing Magnet, A Sandwich Fanatic, A Cheesesteak Guy. But I'll Only Get A Cheesesteak In Philadelphia. No One Else Does It Right.

I Don't Like To Hear Woman Argue...it Makes My Balls Itch.

I Was Always Big On Laughs, Giving And Receiving. It Wasn't Necessarily Good For My Teachers. Of Course There's Times Where You Go Too Far. My Mom Had To Tell Me, "boy, If I Have To Come Down To This School One More Time, You're Gonna Get It."

I Like The Fact That Now My Understanding For Entertainment And The Entertainment Business Is Completely Different From What It Was When I First Came In. I Get The Business Side Of It.

I Don't Take Pictures When I'm With My Kids, For The Sake Of My Kids. It's Important When You're As Busy As I Am That You Give Your Kids Your Time When You're With Them, And Nothing Compromises That. I've Been Lucky Enough To Have Fans That Understand That.

I'm Never Gonna Step Away From Stand-up. I Can't. That's What Got Me Where I Am, And That's Also My Muse. That's How I Stay Level-headed. That's What Keeps Me Going.

My Twitter Reflects What's Going On With Me In My Life.

Catholicism Is The Big House Of Christianity. It's Got Many, Many Rooms In It. And I've Always Been Attracted To The Rooms Which Are To Do With Prayer. The Mystical Strain Is The Strain Whereby The Whole Day Can Be Given Over To Prayer Through What We Call Lectio Divina, Prayerful Reading Of Scripture, Through Practice Of Meditation Of When One Uses The Imagination And The Intellect With Respect To Images, And Then Finally, And Most Difficult Of All, Contemplation, Where One Empties The Mind Of All Images And All Ideas, All Concepts, In Order To Be Completely Attentive To God.

Chris Rock Does The Political Thing Really Well, But That Never Worked For Me.

If You Look At Me Close Enough, There's A Small Resemblance To A Chicken Nugget. I Don't Know If It's My Skin Texture Or My Hair, But The Resemblance Is Definitely There.

My Goals Are So High That I Don't Have Time To Relax, In Any Way Shape Or Form.

Hard Work And Determination Equals Success. Nothing Comes Easy. Put Your Mind To Something.

I Go Onstage And I Talk, And I Remember What I'm Saying, And I Track It.

I Love Being On Stage, I Love Being Able To Tell A Story, I Love The Fact That The Audience Listens And Laughs At It. It Makes Me Happy, And It's What I Live For.

I Wanna Produce, Write, And Direct My Own Projects, And Eventually Fund Them. I Wanna Be A Mogul.

When Obstacles Have Been Put In Front Of Me, I Just Get Around Them And Move Past Them And Laugh At Them.

Dialogue Means Debates And Everyone's Point Of View.

People Want To Act Like They Know Celebrities. They Want To See Pictures. They Want To Know Where You're Going. They Want To Hear You Talk About Your Family.

I Performed In A Bowling Alley Before While People Were Still Bowling. Cut The Check, And I Will Perform Anywhere.

When You're Coming Up With New Material, It's Not Always Gonna Be Good. The Only Way To Learn Is For It Not To Get A Laugh, So You Can Adjust It And Come Back The Next Day To See If It's Working Right. Next Time, You Might Get A Different Laugh. You're Constantly Rebuilding.

My Business Acumen Is Definitely Growing.

I Know How Easy It Is To Put Your Foot In Your Mouth.

I Think If Someone Gets Kicked In The Face It Is Their Fault- They Watched The Foot Come Towards Their Face.

I Don't Think You Get Successful To Brag And Throw What You Have In The World's Face. That's All Private.

I Have Good Laugh Every Day. I Enjoy Life. I'm Surrounded By Love And Positivity.

The Kind Of Poetry I Write, Lyric Poetry, I Think Is Really Concerned With Intimacy, With Mystery. That Needn't Be Religious Mystery, There Are Mysteries To Do With Everyday Life.

In My Divorce, I Stood Up And Said To My Ex-wife, 'hey, I Messed Up. This Had Nothing To Do With You. I Didn't Understand What Marriage Was. I Cheated. I Was Wrong. We Couldn't Fix It; It Got Worse. I Stepped Away Because I Didn't Want It To Get Any Worse. You're The Mother Of My Kids - I Don't Want To Hate You.'

For Me, The Way I Stay Consistent Is Through Stand-up Comedy.

The Good Thing About Having Chemistry Is, When You Get To The Improv Section Of A Scene, You've Got Somebody To Feed Off. It Can Go On And On And On, And The Sky's The Limit.

'soul Plane' Put Me In A Position To Succeed. I'm Glad I Had The Opportunity To Be The Lead Man.

I've Done A Great Job At Being Universal In My Stand-up, Which Is Why, For 'let Me Explain,' I Toured All Over The World. These Movies I Have Coming Out - 'ride Along,' 'grudge Match,' 'about Last Night,' 'think Like A Man Too' - Are Putting Me In A Position To Become Universal On An Even Bigger Scale.

It's A Well-known Fact That Tall People Are Evil.

When People Get Married Young, You Don't Really Understand The True Definition Of Marriage.

I Think What Happens In A Religious Life Is That We Have Those Experiences Of Affirmation And That One Starts To Live A Christian Life Or A Jewish Life Or A Muslim Life Or A Buddhist Life, By Affirming That Affirmation Each Day. Each Day You Say 'yes' To That Yes. So The Life Of Being A Christian For Example, Is Always A Life Of Double Affirmation, That You Each Day Say 'yes' To Those Counter-experiences Of Saying 'yes', Even When You're Not Experiencing Them At That Time, You're Remaining Loyal To That Experience.

My Main Goal Is To Be A Self-made Man And Have Control Over What's Mine.

Because Of What I Do, It Has To Be An Open Book, But Right Now This Is A Book That Is Being Written.

I Feel Like I Have A Job To Do, Like I Constantly Have To Reinvent Myself. The More I Up The Ante For Myself, The Better It Is In The Long Run. I Try To Interact With My Fans As Much As Possible. It's Good That The Person I'm Being Onstage Isn't Really An Act. It's Really Me.

Before I Look Stupid And Not Know What A Word Means Or How To Pronounce It, I'll Stop The Whole Production, "hey, Real Quick, Guys. Define This Word For Me. Somebody."

Did I Try To Embarrass Other People? Now If It's About Other People, Guilty Guilty Guilty Guilty.

At The End Of The Day, Women Are A Distraction. Whether You Realize It Or Not.

The End Of The Day

When I Was Married, I Definitely Went Through A Lying Period.

Success Isn't Supposed To Happen, No Matter How Hard You Work. There's No Guarantee You're Going To Succeed. There's Nothing Set In Stone.

There's Actually A Lot Of Bullshit In My Google Search. They Killed Me In One Of Them! I Died In One Of My Google Searches.

I'm Sure Everyone Knows Now That Only A Few Have Performed In Madison Square Garden. That List Is So Small. Now I'm On That List. I'm A Part Of A Very Small Group, Which Is Unbelievable. You Relish In That Moment For A Second.

I Make A Lot Of Expressions Constantly. I'm Animated.

I'm A Whopping 5 Foot 4 Inches Tall. I'm Not Going To Get Any Taller.

I Don't Have To Change Anything. I Think That's The Secret To Comedy. You Want To Be Universal And Appeal To Everyone. You Want To Put Yourself In A Position That No Matter What You're Talking About, Everyone Can Relate To It And Understand It, Because It's An Experience That Everyone Can Go Through. That's What I Pattern My Writing Material And Jokes After. I'm Trying To Maintain A Level Of Realness That My Fans Can Appreciate.

A Reputation As A Hard Worker Is A Good Reputation To Have.

I Love Making People Laugh. And I Love Laughing.

I'm Not A Good Storm-outer... Because I Forget Stuff.

Hollywood Has A Way Of Making Everything Seem Like An Overnight Success.

Overnight Success

I Want To Be Funny, But It Has To Be A Believable Funny.

I Feel Like Whatever You've Done In Your Career, Good Or Bad, It's Nothing But Preparation For The Big Events To Come.

When You're In Love, Love Makes You Do Crazy Things, And Can Take You Down A Whirlwind Of A Road.

I Can't Cook, But I Can Make A Turkey And Cheese Sandwich Like Nobody Else.

Cheese Sandwiches

On 'think Like A Man,' They Got The Best Out Of Me Because They Allowed Me To Bring My Own Cadences And Opinions To The Character That I Was Playing. I Think We Got The Best Of That Particular Character.

I Got A Dog With A Napoleon Complex. I Have A Napoleon Complex. We're Small. Anything Big That We Feel Is Threatening Us, We Want To Fight. We're Not A Pushover.

The Sound Of The Headboard, That's Motivation.

If You Give Up At The First Sign Of Struggle, You're Really Not Ready To Be Successful.

I Don't Look At Obstacles As Obstacles. I Look At Them As Things That Were Put There For A Reason. You Can Approach These Things Negatively Or Positively. I Think Those That Approach It With A Negative Mindset Only Get A Negative Outcome.

My Show 'the Big House' Was Picked Up; They Flew Me To New York. I'm About To Step On Stage To Announce 's 'the Big House.' And A Hand Grabs My Shoulder, 'kevin No, They Just Decided To Cancel It.' It's A Serious Smack-in-the-face Business, And Either You Can Take It, Or You Can't.

In Acting, You Have To Pull From Real-life Situations, From People, To Help Develop A Character.

My Drive Is Other People's Success.

When You Have Box-office Results, Hollywood Treats You Different. Hollywood Stands Up. Once You Get To The Point Where Hollywood Sees That You Create Results, Then The Demand For You Becomes Higher.

When I Was In My Early 20s I Converted To Catholicism After A Long Period Of Searching. What I Think Drew Me To The Catholic Church Is That In Catholicism, Prayer Suffuses All Of One's Life By Virtue Of The Sacraments. Prayer Is Not Something Which Occurs Just On Sunday, It Doesn't Occur Only At Particular Moments Of Intensity Or By Particular Conventions, One's Whole Life Is Given Up To Prayer In Many, Many Modes. And So Everything To Do With The Faith Is Trying To Put You In Relationship With God And Trying To Make That Relationship Grow Deeper And More Mature.

This Younger Generation That's Around, That's Tweeting, Facebooking And Vine-ing, The Fans Appreciate That Because They Feel Like They Can Get To You.

Some Sarcasm Is Best Told Simply. Some Humor Is Best Told Big And Some Is Best Told Small.

Some People Come To Work And That's Exactly What It Is - Work.

When You Work Hard And You Treat People Great, Regardless Of What It Is That You're Doing, Naturally People Want To Help And Do Things.

I've Been Known To Preach.

You Don't Want To Pigeonhole Yourself.

Having Other Comedians Complimenting My Work Is The Biggest Accolade That I Can Get.

Relationships Are Like Farting, If You Push Too Hard Things Could Get Messy Real Fast.

What You Find I Think In The Mystical Strain Of Catholicism Is That You're Put In Relationship With God, And You Have Many Opportunities Not Only Of Talking With God In Petitionary Prayer, But Also Of Listening To God, Being Attentive To God, As Happens In Contemplation.

Comedy's About Opening Up And Being Unique, But To A Point Where The Audience Can Relate To What You're Saying.

Almost Anything Can Be Funny If Said The Right Way - But It Has To Be Said The Right Way.

I've Pushed Several Women In Front Of Violent Situations. My Rule Is Save Myself First.

I'm A Health Nut, But When I Eat, I Go Hard.

Being Humble Matters.

Everybody Wants To Be Famous, But Nobody Wants To Put The Work In!!

Hardwork And Determination

My Goal Is To Make Everyone And Anyone A Fan.

So Unless We Form Some Kind Of Adequate Relationship To Death, We're Never Going To Live Properly, And If We Think Of It Purely As A Medical Thing, We Have Reduced Life. We Should Think Of It As Some Sort Of Mystery Which We Can Participate In Now, Not Something To Be Pushed Off To One Side Till The Last Moments.

Here's The Thing. We Do A Movie With A Predominantly Black Cast, And It's Put In A Category Of Being A Black Film. When Other Movies Are Done With A Predominantly White Cast, We Don't Call Them A White Film. I'm Trying To Remove The Stigma Off Things They Call Black Films.

When You're In These Movie Deals And The Studios Are Talking, They're Putting Business Deals And Packages Together, But They're Making Calls Based On Previous Relationships. They Go, "oh, Let's Call This Actor Because We Did This With Him, And He Might Like Him. Does He Like Him? Let's Piece Them Together." There's A Brain Behind That Puzzle, And I Want To Be The Brain.

The Movies And All That Stuff Are Great, But The Fact That I'm In A Position To Do What I Want To Do, However I Want To Do It And When I Want To Do It Is Bigger.

I Love Soft-cotton White T-shirts.

I Just Want To Be A Great Example To Younger Kids.

The People Around Me Haven't Changed. The People Who Have Been In My Life Since The Beginning Are Still In My Life Now. I Think That Has A Lot To Do With My Staying Grounded And Humble Despite The Success I've Achieved.

When I Got Into The Business Of Entertainment, I Did It For A Reason. I Didn't Do It To Not Be Successful. I Did It To Be Successful. And To Hopefully Get To The Highest Level That I Possibly Could. Thus Far, I'm Achieving Those Goals. That Doesn't Make You Stop. That Doesn't Make You Complacent. It Makes You Want To Do More.

I'm More Of A Realist When It Comes To Life, And I'd Much Rather My Mother Be In A Spiritual Place In Heaven Than In A Bed, Sick, Fighting For Her Life.

I Had One Incident Where My Daughter Said That A Girl Asked If She Was A Brown Person. I Said, 'we're Black. You Have Black People, White People, Chinese People, Hispanic People; We're All Brought Up Differently.'

There's A Difference Between Who We Love, Who We Settle For, And Who We're Meant For.

In Comedy, My Strengths Are Improvisation.

I'm Very Scary. I'm A Menace.

I Got A Chance To Work With Stallone And De Niro - Pretty Much Sums It Up For Me. You Can Tell Where You're Going In Your Career By The Company You Keep.

Company You Keep

I Was The Guy On The Swim Team Entertaining The Bus On The Way To The Meets.

A Lot Of Blood, Sweat, And Tears Have Gone Into This Career Of Mine.

Men And Women Do Think Differently, And Frankly, We Don't Understand Each Other. Not At All! But That's What Makes Relationships So Amazing.

My Mum Passing Away Wasn't Funny, But That Funeral And What I Went Through, The Things That Happened, Looking Back At It, There Were Funny Moments. You Have To Be Strong Enough To Look Back At It, To Sit And Assess The Situation.

I Think, First Of All, I Don't Think People Understand Ice Cube's Body Of Work. Ice Cube Is A, And I Hate To Use The Word 'urban' But - When You Think Of Judd Apatow, And A Person Who's Launched So Many Careers, Ice Cube Has Done That For So Many Comedians, You Know?

My Baby Is Weird Man... When He Get Mad, He Gets In The Oven.

People May Hate You For Being Different And Not Living By Society's Standards,but Deep Down,they Wish They Had The Courage To Do The Same.

Being Different

The Day You Stop Doing The Small Things Is The Day You Think You're Above Everybody Else.

Really, I Don't Like Roller Coasters.

I'm Not Going To Stop Having Problems.

Sports Are Basically Our Way Of Feeling Sorry For Ourselves. Most Men Can't Become Athletes. We're Watching Guys Who Actually Made It. We See Them Dunking And Making Touchdowns. Then We Think About Ourselves When We Were Younger.

The Best Feeling In The World Is Seeing The Benefits And Rewards Of Hard Work.

As Soon As We Try To Write The Simplest Sentence About God, We Find Ourselves In Anxious Perplexities, But When We Stop Trying To Write About God And Talk With God, God Is There And We Can Talk With God.

Ever Argue With A Female And, In The Middle Of The Argument, You No Longer Feel Safe Because Of Her Actions? She May Start Pacing Back And Forth Real Fast, Breathing Out Her Nose. You Know What My Girl Do? When She Get Mad, She Start Talking In The Third Person. That's Scary As Hell Because That's Her Way Of Telling Me That From This Point On, She Is Not Responsible For None Of Her Actions.

I Learned From The Guys Before Me - Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Richard Pryor, Just To Name A Few. These Are Guys That Let It All Hang Out. What They Lived Is What They Took To The Stage.

People Who Eat With Their Mouth Open Should Be Punched In The Face.

I Don't Care How Busy I Am - I Will Always Make Time For What's Most Important To Me.

At The End Of The Day, Your Fans Are The People Who Support You In And Out. And Their Opinions Matter.

The End Of The Day

We Don't Always Possess Faith In The Sense Of Having A Clear Embodiment Of Something To Hang On To. The Relationship Between The Intellect And Faith Is A Very Curious One. Sometimes The Intellect Can Point Us To Faith, Sometimes The Intellect Can Stand In The Way Of Faith. Sometimes, As St John Of The Cross Points Out, We Have To Darken Or Blind The Intellect In Order To Have Faith.

People Like To Hear The Word 'love.'

My Fans Saw Me Get Engaged, Saw Me Make That Woman My Wife, Me Having Kids, Me Divorcing, Me Talking About Divorce Before The Divorce, Me Talking About My Kids' Reaction To That Divorce.

I Never Do Anything That I Don't Want To Do.

I Stayed True To My Dreams And, Eventually, They Came True.

I Think Women Go Crazy For A Reason. It's Not Like It Just Happens.

There's So Much You Can Achieve With A Launching Pad Like Stand-up Comedy. You Can Literally Go From Acting To Hosting To Being A Personality.

You Get One Life. I'm Going To Embrace Mine.

Back In My Heyday, When I Was Out On The Streets - I'm Engaged Now, About To Get Married - But Before That I Was Quite The Sex Symbol. My Line Was, "if I Was Taller, Would I Have A Chance?".

There Was One Incident At A Movie Theater Where My Girl Got Mad At These Guys Who Were Talking Behind Us. I Never Looked Back There, But She Was Like, 'will You All Just Shut Up!' And I Just Got Up And Moved Three Rows In Front. She Was Like, 'what Are You Doing?!' I Was Like, 'you Better Get Up Here! I Don't Play The Fighting Games.'

I Ain't Never Called Nobody No Redskin. I've Never Been Mad, Like, 'get Out Of This Restaurant, You Redskin.'

I Like Playing Basketball And Going To The Gym. I Don't Box, But I'll Ride My Bike And Go Jogging Or Running In The Park. Sometimes My Lady And I Go Hiking.

The Worst Thing About Being Lied To, Is Realizing They Don't Think You're Worth The Truth.

I Don't Know If I'm At The Relationship Advice Stage Yet. I Do Have A Lot Of Information To Share, And A Book Is Definitely In The Works, But I Don't Know Whether It'll Be Geared Towards Relationships.

The Kind Of Love That God Has For Us, I Think, Is Of An Infinite Longing For Union, And The Kind Of Love That God Wants Us To Have For Him, I Think, Is Of This Also Endless Longing. Now In Eros We Lose Ourselves. I Think Erotic Love Transforms Us, But It Does So Only Momentarily. It Has To Be Embedded In Something Much Longer, A Much Bigger Narrative Called Marriage Or Durable Relationship Or Something Like That.

I Don't Use Twitter For Bad.

The Beauty Of Me Is I'm Always Going To Ask. I'll Never Not Ask.

Often Poetry, Especially The Sort Of Poetry I Write, Is Concerned With Looking At The Borders Between The Sensual And The Spiritual And Seeing Them As Divided, Equivocal, That Mystery Somehow Can Break In To The Ordinary. And We Read Poetry I Think In Part, To Gain A Sense Of That Intimacy With Things That We Can't Understand That Are Unable To Be Understood But That Buoy Up Our Lives.

People Don't Want To Hear About Me Having Leather Walls Or Gold Toilets.

My Mom Was Very Strict. She Didn't Let Me Watch Anything Rated R Or Anything With Cussing.

It All Depends On What You're Willing To Invest Time And Effort In And Put Your Mind To. That's What Separates Winners From Losers. Winners Are The Ones Who Want The Most Out Of Their Opportunities.

The Original 'about Last Night' Was Phenomenal.

The Funny Thing Is, All My Friends Are Short. I Wasn't Aware Of Tall People Till I Got To High School. I Didn't Know They Existed. I Was Sheltered.

Every Poem That I Write Is, In A Sense, Trying To Find Adequate Words For This Unspeakable Word, Around Which My Entire Life Turns.

I Don't See How People Are Comfortable With Seeing Other People Be Great. You Can Be Happy For Anybody, But What Is Your Excuse To Not Want To Be Great? These People Are Great Because They Just Say, 'i'ma Do That,' And They Do It. That's It. There's No Scientifical Process.

Just Because Your Environment Or Living Space Changes Doesn't Mean That Your Attitude Necessarily Has To Change.

Is Everything Funny? For Me, Yes. There's A Positive To Every Negative. Even My Divorce? For Me, Yes. If You Go Back And Look At It, Why It Happened Or How It Happened, There's Something In There That'll Make You Laugh.

I'm Happy About Working; I'm Happy About Gracing The Stage And Coming Out And Making People Laugh. I Never Treat It Like A Job Or Feel That Way. It's The Best Thing Ever To Me, And I Feel Like A Kid In A Candy Store.

Men Are Like Lions. We Hunt.

What? Okay, Back Up. How In The Hell Do You 'turn Up Missing'?

The One Thing About The Business Of Entertainment Is That You Have To Learn Patience.

The Same Thing I Did In 2013 Is What I'm Trying To Do In 2014, Which Is Continue To Improve, Continue To Shock People. You Know, I Have Several Projects Coming Up Between 2014 And 2015, And Hopefully By 2015, I'll Have Another Hour Of Stand-up Material Where I'll Be Able To Go On The Road And Tour Again.

Going Through My Divorce Has Changed Who I Am In My Understanding Of What's Good And Bad In Relationships.

The Relationship We Have With God Is Not The Same Over A Life; Sometimes, As With Human Relationships, It Goes Through Bad Patches And Sometimes It Becomes Very Intense. It Is A Terrifying Thing To Have A Relationship With One's Creator, To Spend One's Life So That One Is Trying To Converge With One's Creator Seems An Extraordinarily Difficult And Sublime Thing. But At The Same Time It's Extremely Simple. One Of The Things Which Perpetually Amazes Me Is That At Any Moment Or Any Day, Anyone Who Is Alive Can Talk With The Creator Of The Cosmos.

I Would Spend Absolutely Every Last Minute With My Kids, Telling Them How Much I Love Them And How Much I Would Do For Them.

Laughter Heals All Wounds, And That's One Thing That Everybody Shares. No Matter What You're Going Through, It Makes You Forget About Your Problems. I Think The World Should Keep Laughing.

I Am Who I Am Today Because Of My Mother.

I Think Poetry Has Started To Take On A Supplementary Role Of Prayer For Some People. The Churches, I Think, Including My Own, Are Terrible At Teaching People How To Pray. It May Be That We Need To Learn From The Ground Up As Religious People, Whether Christian Or Not, How To Pray.

The Racehorses Assemble At The Starting Barrier In All The Finery Of A Mediaeval Pageant, The Jockeys In Silks Like Figures From A Tarot Pack, The Bookies In Leather And Tweeds Standing Beside Their Boards Each Confident That The Future Has Been Controlled.

My Upbringing Was Solid Because Of The People I Had Around Me.

People Don't Want Drama 365 Days A Year. I'm A Sense Of Relief; It's My Job To Take Your Mind Off What's Bad For That Brief Second You're In The Room With Me, Regardless Of Shape, Race, Colour Or Anything. It Brings People Together, And It Makes Me Feel Good About What I'm Doing.

I'm Not A Big Politics Guy.

I Don't Have To Change Anything. I Think That's The Secret To Comedy. You Want To Be Universal And Appeal To Everyone.

I've Done Auditions Where The Casting Director Is Taking The Paper Out Of My Hand In The Middle Of Reading.

Bieber Has 10 Million Fans - Most Are In Middle Schools, Or Standing At Least 500 Feet Away From One.

The Most Important Thing For A Director Is Being Able To Communicate. When You Communicate Comfortably, Regardless Of What You're Saying, It Can Always Be Processed.

I Want To Reach The Status Of Becoming A Mogul. And The Only Way You Get There Is By Work.

Barbra Streisand Has Accomplished So Much, And Dustin Hoffman As Well. They Are Down To Earth And Approachable. I Admire That.

Stand-up Comedy Is Mine: It's My Entity; It's My Brand; I Own It. I Do It When I Want To Do It.

If You Want To Appeal To Everyone, You Can't Do A World Tour And Expect Black People To Show Up At Every Date - When You're In Australia, When You're In Dubai, When You're In Indonesia.

I Promise You, I Will Have Something On The Internet That Is Game-changing. I Can't Lose.

I Can Get Where Some Scientists Would Say Comedians Are Crazy. What You Have To Understand: A Lot Of Comedians Are Dealing With A Dark Passion. A Lot Of These Are Guys Coming From A Tumultuous Life, Including Myself. Some People Need Outlets, A Way To Express Yourself.

Hartbeat Productions Is A Company Established By Me; It's Mine. I Run It. I Have Employees.

You've Got To Put Yourself In Positions To Take Away What Can Be Said.

I Am In Control Of My Career, And That's What So Many Actors Don't Take Advantage Of. You Get To These Successful Points, And You Continue To Just Work For Other People. But, When You're Your Own Brand And You're Your Own Boss, The Whole Line Of Work Changes. That's My Biggest Turn On.

Believe It Or Not, I Make Myself Laugh. Sometimes When I Have Thoughts Or Say Some Things That Are Funny, It Just Makes Me Laugh, And I Don't Mind Laughing At It Before You Guys Do.

I Think Death Is Not Simply The Last Few Moments Of Life, Death Is Something That Runs Throughout The Whole Of Life. Each Of Our Moments Is Not Only The Possibility Of Affirmation, But It's Also We're Saying Farewell At Each Moment To Something.

You Can Do The Same Thing With $20 Million That You Would Do With $50 Million. So At A Certain Point In Your Life And In Your Career, You Realise That It's Not About The Money.

My Kids Are Coming Up In A Different Time Then Me. Interracial Couples Are Of The Norm. With Me, It's About Making Sure My Kids Understand The Importance Of Education And Having Opportunities That I Didn't. My Goal As A Parent Is To Make Sure They Don't Take What They Have For Granted.

All I Can Do Is Try To Create My Own Brand And Have People Appreciate Me For That.

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Jennifer Ellison

Spider Robinson

Jean-Marie Le Pen

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