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As Soon As We Try To Write The Simplest Sentence About God, We Find Ourselves In Anxious Perplexities, But When We Stop Trying To Write About God And Talk With God, God Is There And We Can Talk With God.

-Kevin Hart

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Kevin Hart

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As Soon As We Try To Write The Simplest Sentence About God, We Find Ourselves In Anxious Perplexities, But When We Stop Trying To Write About God And Talk With God, God Is There And We Can Talk With God.

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In My Divorce, I Stood Up And Said To My Ex-wife, 'hey, I Messed Up. This Had Nothing To Do With You. I Didn't Understand What Marriage Was. I Cheated. I Was Wrong. We Couldn't Fix It; It Got Worse. I Stepped Away Because I Didn't Want It To Get Any Worse. You're The Mother Of My Kids - I Don't Want To Hate You.'

Hollywood Has A Way Of Making Everything Seem Like An Overnight Success.

Overnight Success

People Want To Act Like They Know Celebrities. They Want To See Pictures. They Want To Know Where You're Going. They Want To Hear You Talk About Your Family.

The Relationship We Have With God Is Not The Same Over A Life; Sometimes, As With Human Relationships, It Goes Through Bad Patches And Sometimes It Becomes Very Intense. It Is A Terrifying Thing To Have A Relationship With One's Creator, To Spend One's Life So That One Is Trying To Converge With One's Creator Seems An Extraordinarily Difficult And Sublime Thing. But At The Same Time It's Extremely Simple. One Of The Things Which Perpetually Amazes Me Is That At Any Moment Or Any Day, Anyone Who Is Alive Can Talk With The Creator Of The Cosmos.

Bieber Has 10 Million Fans - Most Are In Middle Schools, Or Standing At Least 500 Feet Away From One.

My Kids Are Coming Up In A Different Time Then Me. Interracial Couples Are Of The Norm. With Me, It's About Making Sure My Kids Understand The Importance Of Education And Having Opportunities That I Didn't. My Goal As A Parent Is To Make Sure They Don't Take What They Have For Granted.

Is Everything Funny? For Me, Yes. There's A Positive To Every Negative. Even My Divorce? For Me, Yes. If You Go Back And Look At It, Why It Happened Or How It Happened, There's Something In There That'll Make You Laugh.

People May Hate You For Being Different And Not Living By Society's Standards,but Deep Down,they Wish They Had The Courage To Do The Same.

Being Different

Everybody That's Successful Lays A Blueprint Out.

I Think Poetry Has Started To Take On A Supplementary Role Of Prayer For Some People. The Churches, I Think, Including My Own, Are Terrible At Teaching People How To Pray. It May Be That We Need To Learn From The Ground Up As Religious People, Whether Christian Or Not, How To Pray.

Some Sarcasm Is Best Told Simply.

My Goals Are So High.

I Don't Have To Change Anything. I Think That's The Secret To Comedy. You Want To Be Universal And Appeal To Everyone.

Barbra Streisand Has Accomplished So Much, And Dustin Hoffman As Well. They Are Down To Earth And Approachable. I Admire That.

People See Me On The Street, And They Point To Me, And They're Like, 'hey! All Right, All Right, All Right!'

Every Poem That I Write Is, In A Sense, Trying To Find Adequate Words For This Unspeakable Word, Around Which My Entire Life Turns.

I'm Not The Most Attractive Fella. I'm Not A Billy Dee Williams. Personality Is Everything.

I Got A Dog With A Napoleon Complex. I Have A Napoleon Complex. We're Small. Anything Big That We Feel Is Threatening Us, We Want To Fight. We're Not A Pushover.

I Only Wanna Go Up The Steps Toward A Different Level Of Stardom. The Bet Awards Was One Of Those Steps, The Vmas Was Another Huge Step. And The Next Step, Eventually, Hopefully, Would Be The Oscars.

I'm A Businessman As Well As An Entertainer. The Reason Why Is Because I Want To Own Whatever I'm Doing. I Don't Want To Work For Other People Forever.

Everything Is An Open Book. I Don't Speak On Other People's Hardship, But If It Happened In My Life Or Something That Has Been An Experience On My Particular Journey, I'm Going To Talk About It. That's What My Fan Base Appreciates The Most. I'm Universal. You Can Relate To The Things I Say Or That I Go Through.

The Sound Of The Headboard, That's Motivation.

I Think Death Is Not Simply The Last Few Moments Of Life, Death Is Something That Runs Throughout The Whole Of Life. Each Of Our Moments Is Not Only The Possibility Of Affirmation, But It's Also We're Saying Farewell At Each Moment To Something.

Because Of What I Do, It Has To Be An Open Book, But Right Now This Is A Book That Is Being Written.

I Just Don't Believe People Can Tame Animals.

I'm Not Russell Crowe. I'm Not Going To Do A Period Piece.

I Go Onstage And I Talk, And I Remember What I'm Saying, And I Track It.

I Stayed True To My Dreams And, Eventually, They Came True.

Success Isn't Supposed To Happen, No Matter How Hard You Work. There's No Guarantee You're Going To Succeed. There's Nothing Set In Stone.

I Took My Daughter To The Father-daughter Dance And I Cried Like A Little Baby. She's 11 Years Old, So Seeing Her Get Dressed Up And Pretty Made Me Cry.

The Worst Thing About Being Lied To, Is Realizing They Don't Think You're Worth The Truth.

I Love Making People Laugh. And I Love Laughing.

You've Got To Put Yourself In Positions To Take Away What Can Be Said.

I'm Never Gonna Step Away From Stand-up. I Can't. That's What Got Me Where I Am, And That's Also My Muse. That's How I Stay Level-headed. That's What Keeps Me Going.

No Matter What, People Grow. If You Chose Not To Grow, You're Staying In A Small Box With A Small Mindset. People Who Win Go Outside Of That Box. It's Very Simple When You Look At It.

I Don't Think You Get Successful To Brag And Throw What You Have In The World's Face. That's All Private.

What? Okay, Back Up. How In The Hell Do You 'turn Up Missing'?

Genuinely Love Doing Standup And I'm A Comedian First, So For Me What Makes My Standup Special Is The Fact That I Don't Have To Adapt Or Adjust. I Am Who I Am. I Appeal To Everyone, Hence In The Movie Doing A World Tour.

Having Other Comedians Complimenting My Work Is The Biggest Accolade That I Can Get.

Often Poetry, Especially The Sort Of Poetry I Write, Is Concerned With Looking At The Borders Between The Sensual And The Spiritual And Seeing Them As Divided, Equivocal, That Mystery Somehow Can Break In To The Ordinary. And We Read Poetry I Think In Part, To Gain A Sense Of That Intimacy With Things That We Can't Understand That Are Unable To Be Understood But That Buoy Up Our Lives.

Hartbeat Productions Is A Company Established By Me; It's Mine. I Run It. I Have Employees.

What You Find I Think In The Mystical Strain Of Catholicism Is That You're Put In Relationship With God, And You Have Many Opportunities Not Only Of Talking With God In Petitionary Prayer, But Also Of Listening To God, Being Attentive To God, As Happens In Contemplation.

I Think, First Of All, I Don't Think People Understand Ice Cube's Body Of Work. Ice Cube Is A, And I Hate To Use The Word 'urban' But - When You Think Of Judd Apatow, And A Person Who's Launched So Many Careers, Ice Cube Has Done That For So Many Comedians, You Know?

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The Beauty Of Me Being On Stage Is I Have A Voice.

I Like The Fact That Now My Understanding For Entertainment And The Entertainment Business Is Completely Different From What It Was When I First Came In. I Get The Business Side Of It.

The Movies And All That Stuff Are Great, But The Fact That I'm In A Position To Do What I Want To Do, However I Want To Do It And When I Want To Do It Is Bigger.

My Road To Success Was A Long Road To Success Was A Long Road. You Get Out Of Something What You Put Into It. I Put Blood, Sweat And Tears Into Stand-up Comedy And The Entertainment Realm In General. For Me To Just Know Be Coming Around Is A Blessing. It's A Blessing And It's An Honor. It Makes Me Say I Can Get More And I Can Do More.

If You Look At Me In 'ride Along,' Even Though I'm Playing Two Different Characters, My Demeanor And My Tone Were Not Aggressive.

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The Day You Stop Doing The Small Things Is The Day You Think You're Above Everybody Else.

I Make A Lot Of Expressions Constantly. I'm Animated.

The Original 'about Last Night' Was Phenomenal.

Some People Come To Work And That's Exactly What It Is - Work.

Because I'm Small, I've Been Called Things From 'happy Feet' To 'little Face.'

At The End Of The Day, Women Are A Distraction. Whether You Realize It Or Not.

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My Baby Is Weird Man... When He Get Mad, He Gets In The Oven.

When I Got Into The Business Of Entertainment, I Did It For A Reason. I Didn't Do It To Not Be Successful. I Did It To Be Successful. And To Hopefully Get To The Highest Level That I Possibly Could. Thus Far, I'm Achieving Those Goals. That Doesn't Make You Stop. That Doesn't Make You Complacent. It Makes You Want To Do More.

I Can Honestly Say, After Talking About My Mom Passing Away, I Got The Biggest Weight Off Of My Chest. Comedy Is My Therapy. That's How I Deal With My Problems, My Personal Battles. I Talk About It. I Give It To My Fans. When They Laugh At It, It's A Release, For Lack Of A Better Word.

I Shouldn't Have To Ask For Your Permission For Me To Put You In My Lie!

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Dialogue Means Debates And Everyone's Point Of View.

'soul Plane' Put Me In A Position To Succeed. I'm Glad I Had The Opportunity To Be The Lead Man.

The Good Thing About Having Chemistry Is, When You Get To The Improv Section Of A Scene, You've Got Somebody To Feed Off. It Can Go On And On And On, And The Sky's The Limit.

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I Know How Easy It Is To Put Your Foot In Your Mouth.

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You Definitely Want Your Kids To Understand Their Heritage, But I Don't Want My Kids To Just Focus On Being Black. They Are People. I Don't Want Them To Judge Other People Or To Be Judged. I Want Them To Be Good People, So Good People Will Treat Them Accordingly. I Preach That To My Kids And Everything Else Falls Into Place.

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When I Was In My Early 20s I Converted To Catholicism After A Long Period Of Searching. What I Think Drew Me To The Catholic Church Is That In Catholicism, Prayer Suffuses All Of One's Life By Virtue Of The Sacraments. Prayer Is Not Something Which Occurs Just On Sunday, It Doesn't Occur Only At Particular Moments Of Intensity Or By Particular Conventions, One's Whole Life Is Given Up To Prayer In Many, Many Modes. And So Everything To Do With The Faith Is Trying To Put You In Relationship With God And Trying To Make That Relationship Grow Deeper And More Mature.

The Kind Of Poetry I Write, Lyric Poetry, I Think Is Really Concerned With Intimacy, With Mystery. That Needn't Be Religious Mystery, There Are Mysteries To Do With Everyday Life.

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I Learned From The Guys Before Me - Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Richard Pryor, Just To Name A Few. These Are Guys That Let It All Hang Out. What They Lived Is What They Took To The Stage.

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I've Been Known To Preach.

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In Marriage For Example, You Say 'yes' On The Day You Get Married, 'i Do', But Each Day You Implicitly If Not Explicitly, Also Say 'yes', By Every Act That One Performs In A Marriage, One Is Saying 'yes', Making A Cup Of Coffee For One's Wife Or Husband Is A Form Of Saying 'yes' To The Marriage Vow That One Is Continuing The Marriage By Affirming It In One's Deeds. And Exactly The Same In The Religious Life.

It All Depends On What You're Willing To Invest Time And Effort In And Put Your Mind To. That's What Separates Winners From Losers. Winners Are The Ones Who Want The Most Out Of Their Opportunities.

I Had A Great Time Being A Salesman Because Of The Pitches That I Gave When I Was Selling Shoes. However, I Don't Think I'm As Well Versed In Shoes As I Am In Comedy. Being A Salesman Was All About Being A People Person, And I Enjoy Being Around People. I Also Love Talking To People - Which Is Why I Think I Did So Well.

My Kids Are The Funniest Two Human Beings There Are.

I Don't Care How Busy I Am - I Will Always Make Time For What's Most Important To Me.

I Want To Be Funny, But It Has To Be A Believable Funny.

I'm Not A Good Storm-outer... Because I Forget Stuff.

Expect Me To Continue What I've Been Doing, Which Is Trying To Take Over The World.

I've Done A Great Job At Being Universal In My Stand-up, Which Is Why, For 'let Me Explain,' I Toured All Over The World. These Movies I Have Coming Out - 'ride Along,' 'grudge Match,' 'about Last Night,' 'think Like A Man Too' - Are Putting Me In A Position To Become Universal On An Even Bigger Scale.

I Love Being On Stage, I Love Being Able To Tell A Story, I Love The Fact That The Audience Listens And Laughs At It. It Makes Me Happy, And It's What I Live For.

Hard Work And Determination Equals Success. Nothing Comes Easy. Put Your Mind To Something.

Really, I Don't Like Roller Coasters.

My Success Comes In Making Fun Of Whatever You're Doing. That's My Way.

I Am In Control Of My Career, And That's What So Many Actors Don't Take Advantage Of. You Get To These Successful Points, And You Continue To Just Work For Other People. But, When You're Your Own Brand And You're Your Own Boss, The Whole Line Of Work Changes. That's My Biggest Turn On.

My Daughter Has Impressions That She Does Of Me.

I Didn't Work Hard To Sit Down And Not Work.

When You're Supposed To Be Close And Friends In The Film, The Moment You're Talking As Friends Off The Set, It Makes It That Much Better When You're Filming.

Life Is Too Short To Worry About What Others Say About You. Have Fun And Give Them Something To Talk About.

Life Is Too Short

My Brother Tried To Explain Sex To Me When I Was 7 - And He Did It With A Cup.

I Don't Know About Other People, But I Love To Work.

Relationships Are Like Farting, If You Push Too Hard Things Could Get Messy Real Fast.

I Am Who I Am. That's Why My Friends And Peers Respect And Appreciate Me. I Don't Change Or Cater My Actions To Fit My Surroundings. I'm Myself 24/7. People Appreciate That.

I Don't Use Twitter For Bad.

I Love To Pop Up At The Movie Theaters. I Love To Treat The People Who Are There.

The Same Thing I Did In 2013 Is What I'm Trying To Do In 2014, Which Is Continue To Improve, Continue To Shock People. You Know, I Have Several Projects Coming Up Between 2014 And 2015, And Hopefully By 2015, I'll Have Another Hour Of Stand-up Material Where I'll Be Able To Go On The Road And Tour Again.

There's A Difference Between Who We Love, Who We Settle For, And Who We're Meant For.

You See Some Of The Weirdest People In Detroit Casinos.

At The End Of The Day, I Want To Be Part Of The Same Conversation As Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Dave Chappelle, Bill Cosby And Richard Pryor.

The End Of The Day

Stand-up Can Take You In So Many Different Places, Man. So Many Doors Can Be Opened Up From Stand-up Comedy, And The First One That Was Opened Up For Me Was Acting.

There's Actually A Lot Of Bullshit In My Google Search. They Killed Me In One Of Them! I Died In One Of My Google Searches.

I'm Happy About Working; I'm Happy About Gracing The Stage And Coming Out And Making People Laugh. I Never Treat It Like A Job Or Feel That Way. It's The Best Thing Ever To Me, And I Feel Like A Kid In A Candy Store.

You Don't Have To Treat People Differently. You May Be Living A Different Lifestyle, But The Person Living That Different Lifestyle Still Can Relate To Anybody And Have The Same Amazing Personality Of The Guy From North Philly.

I Try To Be Funny And Not Ignorant.

You Do Projects With The Hope They Will Be Big And Hope They Will Go Beyond What You Imagine.

I've Turned Down Shows Offering Large Amounts Of Money.

I'm A Health Nut, But When I Eat, I Go Hard.

If You're My Bestfriend I Shouldn't Have To Ask You To Lie For Me.

The Best Feeling In The World Is Seeing The Benefits And Rewards Of Hard Work.

I'm Trying To Maintain A Level Of Realness That My Fans Can Appreciate.

All I Can Do Is Try To Create My Own Brand And Have People Appreciate Me For That.

The Most Exciting Thing In The World To Me Is That I'm Doing What I Love To Do, And That I'm Successful Doing It. Pursuing My Dream And Executing It Is Exciting To Me.

No Man Wants To Settle Down. It Happens. Eventually You're Going To Bump Into Somebody That Makes You Go, 'hmm, I Don't Mind Seeing This Person Every Day.'

A Reputation As A Hard Worker Is A Good Reputation To Have.

I'm A Buffalo Wing Magnet, A Sandwich Fanatic, A Cheesesteak Guy. But I'll Only Get A Cheesesteak In Philadelphia. No One Else Does It Right.

I'm Trying To Do What Eddie Murphy Did For His Generation. You Have To Show People, 'i'm Different. I'm Not Just A Comedian.' I'm Trying To Become A Rock Star.

I Feel Like I Have A Job To Do, Like I Constantly Have To Reinvent Myself. The More I Up The Ante For Myself, The Better It Is In The Long Run. I Try To Interact With My Fans As Much As Possible. It's Good That The Person I'm Being Onstage Isn't Really An Act. It's Really Me.

People Who Eat With Their Mouth Open Should Be Punched In The Face.

I'm Pretty Much An Open Book. I've Pretty Much Talked About Anything I'm Going Through Onstage. Between Interviews And Curious Fans, I've Been Asked Everything. And I Always Give Answers. I Don't Shy Away From Anything.

The Thing About Impressing Your Girlfriend Is That When You Do Something Like A Private Island In Fiji, It's All Downhill From That Point.

The Most Important Thing For A Director Is Being Able To Communicate. When You Communicate Comfortably, Regardless Of What You're Saying, It Can Always Be Processed.

I Promise You, I Will Have Something On The Internet That Is Game-changing. I Can't Lose.

Everybody Wants To Be Famous, But Nobody Wants To Do The Work. I Live By That. You Grind Hard So You Can Play Hard. At The End Of The Day, You Put All The Work In, And Eventually It'll Pay Off. It Could Be In A Year, It Could Be In 30 Years. Eventually, Your Hard Work Will Pay Off.

Some People Love So Hard That They Can't Control Those Emotions When They're At Their Deepest Point.

I Don't Have Ex's! I Have Y's. Like 'y The Hell Did I Date You?!

The Day Rick Ross Dives Into The Crowd, Is The Day We Find Out Who His True Fans Are.

People Don't Want To Hear About Me Having Leather Walls Or Gold Toilets.

You Don't Want To Pigeonhole Yourself.

Almost Anything Can Be Funny If Said The Right Way - But It Has To Be Said The Right Way.

I Don't Know If I'm At The Relationship Advice Stage Yet. I Do Have A Lot Of Information To Share, And A Book Is Definitely In The Works, But I Don't Know Whether It'll Be Geared Towards Relationships.

Laughter Heals All Wounds, And That's One Thing That Everybody Shares. No Matter What You're Going Through, It Makes You Forget About Your Problems. I Think The World Should Keep Laughing.

Every Relationship Should Eventually Become A Long-term Relationship. Any Director That I Meet Now Isn't Just A Director. He's Potentially A Friend, And Someone I Can Call To Do A Project That I Want Or That I Have. That's What I Mean When I Say Branding And Developing Yourself, As A Business.

Sports Are Basically Our Way Of Feeling Sorry For Ourselves. Most Men Can't Become Athletes. We're Watching Guys Who Actually Made It. We See Them Dunking And Making Touchdowns. Then We Think About Ourselves When We Were Younger.

Everybody Wants To Be Famous, But Nobody Wants To Put The Work In!!

Hardwork And Determination

Men And Women Do Think Differently, And Frankly, We Don't Understand Each Other. Not At All! But That's What Makes Relationships So Amazing.

My Drive Is Other People's Success.

I Think What Happens In A Religious Life Is That We Have Those Experiences Of Affirmation And That One Starts To Live A Christian Life Or A Jewish Life Or A Muslim Life Or A Buddhist Life, By Affirming That Affirmation Each Day. Each Day You Say 'yes' To That Yes. So The Life Of Being A Christian For Example, Is Always A Life Of Double Affirmation, That You Each Day Say 'yes' To Those Counter-experiences Of Saying 'yes', Even When You're Not Experiencing Them At That Time, You're Remaining Loyal To That Experience.

Divine Love, Agape, Is Self-sacrificing Love, Which Sounds Difficult, As It Is, And Not Very Attractive. If The Best Image We Have Of Love Is Of A Man Who's Been Tortured And Hung Upon A Cross To Die An Excruciating Death, This Is Something That Human Beings Find Very, Very Hard To Understand As Love. But It Is The Highest Christian Image Of Love.

Going Through My Divorce Has Changed Who I Am In My Understanding Of What's Good And Bad In Relationships.

Take Me And My Role Seriously. Take My Talent Seriously.

I Know A Dramatic Role Is Going To Happen, But You Just Got To Be Patient, You Know? It's Going To Happen When It's Supposed To Happen. I'm Not Rushing It. I'm Not Trying To Make It Happen Tomorrow.

I Love That I Can Tell The Truth And Have People Laugh At It.

Telling The Truth

When You're Coming Up With New Material, It's Not Always Gonna Be Good. The Only Way To Learn Is For It Not To Get A Laugh, So You Can Adjust It And Come Back The Next Day To See If It's Working Right. Next Time, You Might Get A Different Laugh. You're Constantly Rebuilding.

As Soon As We Try To Write The Simplest Sentence About God, We Find Ourselves In Anxious Perplexities, But When We Stop Trying To Write About God And Talk With God, God Is There And We Can Talk With God.

When You're In These Movie Deals And The Studios Are Talking, They're Putting Business Deals And Packages Together, But They're Making Calls Based On Previous Relationships. They Go, "oh, Let's Call This Actor Because We Did This With Him, And He Might Like Him. Does He Like Him? Let's Piece Them Together." There's A Brain Behind That Puzzle, And I Want To Be The Brain.

This Younger Generation That's Around, That's Tweeting, Facebooking And Vine-ing, The Fans Appreciate That Because They Feel Like They Can Get To You.

If You Want To Appeal To Everyone, You Can't Do A World Tour And Expect Black People To Show Up At Every Date - When You're In Australia, When You're In Dubai, When You're In Indonesia.

I Never Thought In A Million Years That I'd Ever Sell Out Back-to-back Shows At The Garden. That's Not To Say, I Never Expected My Career To Take Off. Still, It Was A "pinch Me, Wake Me Up" Moment. I Was Like, "wow! I Can't Believe This. That I'm Actually Here, And This Is Actually Happening." And In That Moment, When I Was About To Thank My Fans For Supporting Me, I Noticed That They Were Standing Up Clapping. It Was Overwhelming, And Became A Very Emotional Moment When I Tried To Thank Them.

I Just Want To Be A Great Example To Younger Kids.

I Am Capable Of Holding The Quote-unquote 'title' Of Leading Man. Leading Man Just Means People Want To See You And Assume That You Can Hold A Film, Carry A Movie.

There Was One Incident At A Movie Theater Where My Girl Got Mad At These Guys Who Were Talking Behind Us. I Never Looked Back There, But She Was Like, 'will You All Just Shut Up!' And I Just Got Up And Moved Three Rows In Front. She Was Like, 'what Are You Doing?!' I Was Like, 'you Better Get Up Here! I Don't Play The Fighting Games.'

If You Give Up At The First Sign Of Struggle, You're Really Not Ready To Be Successful.

I Can't Cook, But I Can Make A Turkey And Cheese Sandwich Like Nobody Else.

Cheese Sandwiches

My Goals Are So High That I Don't Have Time To Relax, In Any Way Shape Or Form.

A Lot Of Blood, Sweat, And Tears Have Gone Into This Career Of Mine.

I Don't Want Enemies. I Want Friends, And I Want Them In All Shapes, Sizes, And Colors, And Loving Whoever They Want To.

Chris Rock Does The Political Thing Really Well, But That Never Worked For Me.

Believe It Or Not, I Make Myself Laugh. Sometimes When I Have Thoughts Or Say Some Things That Are Funny, It Just Makes Me Laugh, And I Don't Mind Laughing At It Before You Guys Do.

I Am An Angel. I Was Sent Here From God To Heal.

When You're In Love, Love Makes You Do Crazy Things, And Can Take You Down A Whirlwind Of A Road.

When I Was Married, I Definitely Went Through A Lying Period.

It's A Well-known Fact That Tall People Are Evil.

How The Hell Do You Wake Up Dead?

There Seems To Be Something Poetically That Doesn't Work Or Is Limiting When You Call God 'god' In A Poem. When I Tried To Be Honest With Myself In My Relationship With God, Christ Is, On The One Hand, Completely Dark, He's Transcendent And Unknown. On The Other Hand, He Is Completely Imminent And Completely Knowable As Jesus. Our Tradition Speaks Of Him In Both Ways As Transcendent But Also As A Lover Who Comes To Us, And The Two Word 'dark One' Seem To Me To Contain Both Things, The Transcendence And Otherness Of Christ, But Also Like A Kind Of Dark Lover Who Comes To Us.

I've Done Auditions Where The Casting Director Is Taking The Paper Out Of My Hand In The Middle Of Reading.

If You Look At Me Close Enough, There's A Small Resemblance To A Chicken Nugget. I Don't Know If It's My Skin Texture Or My Hair, But The Resemblance Is Definitely There.

The Second Time Around I'll Understand That, As A Husband, My Wife Doesn't Care About My Opinions. I Just Need To Tell Her The Things That Will Continue To Help Me Stack The Brownie Points.

My Goal Is To Make Everyone And Anyone A Fan.

I Am Who I Am Today Because Of My Mother.

I'm A Whopping 5 Foot 4 Inches Tall. I'm Not Going To Get Any Taller.

You Might Be The Funniest Guy In The World, But If You Don't Have Anything To Talk About, People Are Eventually Going To Gravitate Towards The Guy That's Actually Saying Something.

When You Have Box-office Results, Hollywood Treats You Different. Hollywood Stands Up. Once You Get To The Point Where Hollywood Sees That You Create Results, Then The Demand For You Becomes Higher.

My Twitter Reflects What's Going On With Me In My Life.

What Women Need To Understand Is That Men Don't Communicate. It's Not Intentional Or On Purpose. We're Just Not As Emotional. You Ladies Feel Like You Have To Express Yourselves.

I Can Get Where Some Scientists Would Say Comedians Are Crazy. What You Have To Understand: A Lot Of Comedians Are Dealing With A Dark Passion. A Lot Of These Are Guys Coming From A Tumultuous Life, Including Myself. Some People Need Outlets, A Way To Express Yourself.

I Didn't Want To Lift Weights And Get All Big; I Just Wanted To Get Cut.

I Know How I Get Hard. Running On A Treadmill Behind Women In A Gym Normally Does It For Me.

The Funny Thing Is, All My Friends Are Short. I Wasn't Aware Of Tall People Till I Got To High School. I Didn't Know They Existed. I Was Sheltered.

Just Because Your Environment Or Living Space Changes Doesn't Mean That Your Attitude Necessarily Has To Change.

I Have Good Laugh Every Day. I Enjoy Life. I'm Surrounded By Love And Positivity.

I'm Good Friends With Jay Leno, Good Friends With Ed O'neill, Melanie Fiona And Russell Simmons.

There's So Much You Can Achieve With A Launching Pad Like Stand-up Comedy. You Can Literally Go From Acting To Hosting To Being A Personality.

I Want To Reach The Status Of Becoming A Mogul. And The Only Way You Get There Is By Work.

Being Humble Matters.

My Rule Is To Save Myself First.

The Beauty Of Me Is I'm Always Going To Ask. I'll Never Not Ask.

I Think Sometimes Celebrities Get So Big, They're Not Reachable.

When Obstacles Have Been Put In Front Of Me, I Just Get Around Them And Move Past Them And Laugh At Them.

The Two Things In The World We All Share In This World Are Laughter And Pain. We've All Got Problems. The Levels Of Those Problems Vary, But We've All Got Problems. When You Can Take Things That Are Painful And Make Them Funny, That's A Gift - To You And Your Audience.

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John James Audubon

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