Background Image

...

Some Knitters Say That They Buy Yarn With No Project In Mind And Wait Patiently For The Yarn To "speak" To Them. This Reminds Me Of Michelangelo, Who Believed That Every Block Of Stone He Carved Had The Statue Waiting Inside And That All He Did Was Reveal It. I Think I've Had Yarn Speak To Me During The Knitting Process, And I've Definitely Spoken To It. Perhaps I'm Doing It Wrong, Or Maybe My Yarn And I Aren't On Such Good Terms, But It Really Seems To Me That All I Say Is "please" And All It Ever Says Is "no".

-Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

...

Please Wait....
Translating....

Some Knitters Say That

Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

...

Some Knitters Say That They Buy Yarn With No Project In Mind And Wait Patiently For The Yarn To "speak" To Them. This Reminds Me Of Michelangelo, Who Believed That Every Block Of Stone He Carved Had The Statue Waiting Inside And That All He Did Was Reveal It. I Think I've Had Yarn Speak To Me During The Knitting Process, And I've Definitely Spoken To It. Perhaps I'm Doing It Wrong, Or Maybe My Yarn And I Aren't On Such Good Terms, But It Really Seems To Me That All I Say Is "please" And All It Ever Says Is "no".

Views: 8

Topic

More From Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

With Great Effort Comes Great Gratification.

Hat Head Is A Sad Affliction Wherein The Chosen Hat And The Selected Hairstyle Are Grossly Incompatible. The Unfortunate Combination Results In A Condition That Can Be Hidden Only With The Application Of Another Hat.

Since I Became A Knitting Humor Writer, I Seem To Be Understood A Little Better - At Least For The Purposes Of Social Discourse.

A Half Finished Shawl Left On The Coffee Table Isn't A Mess; It's An Object Of Art.

There Is Practically No Activity That Cannot Be Enhanced Or Replaced By Knitting, If You Really Want To Get Obsessive About It.

I'm A Knitter. My Projects Are The Ultimate In 'some Assembly Required.

Knitters Use Knitting To Value-add To The World.

You Know You Knit Too Much When ... Before You Buy Anything, Such As A Hammock Or Curtains, You Seriously Wonder Whether You Could Knit It.

It Turns Out I Will Buy Any Yarn, Even Yarn I Will Never Use, If The Store Discounts It By More Than 50 Percent.

A Plain Sock By Itself Is Terribly Boring, But It Could Score Points By Having A Clever Stitch Pattern, Or Maybe By Being Made Out Of A Very Beautiful Yarn That's An Enchantment To Work With. (sadly, It Is Still Infuriatingly True That Being Beautiful Without Being Clever Is Almost Worth More Points Than Being Clever Without Being Beautiful, But Such Are The Rules Of Life And Knitting-they Are Cruel, But There Anyway).

Sable- A Common Knitting Acronym That Stands For Stash Acquisition Beyond Life Expectancy.

You Know You Knit Too Much When ... You Take Knitting To A Wedding, In Case There's A Little Time Before The Bride Comes Down The Aisle. Double Points If You Are The Bride.

Everybody Tells Me That They Would Love To Knit, But They Don't Have Time. I Look At People's Lives And I Can See Opportunity And Time For Knitting All Over The Place. The Time Spent Riding The Bus Each Day? That's A Pair Of Socks Over A Month. Waiting In Line? Mittens. Watching Tv? Buckets Of Wasted Time That Could Be An Exquisite Lace Shawl.

Waiting In Line

It Is A Peculiarity Of Knitters That They Chronically Underestimate The Amount Of Time It Takes To Knit Something. Birthday On Saturday? No Problem. Socks Are Small. Never Mind That The Average Sock Knit Out Of Sock-weight Yarn Contains About 17,000 Stitches. Never Mind That You Need Two Of Them. (that's 34,000 Stitches, For Anybody Keeping Track.) Socks Are Only Physically Small. By Stitch Count, They Are Immense.

It Is Important For Knitters To Know Two Things About Frogging: That Cats Are Capable Of This Knitting Action, And Even Seem To Enjoy It And Seek Opportunities To Do It; And That Foul Language Is A Normal, Healthy Accompaniment To Frogging, Whether It Is You Or The Cat That Accomplished The Task.

The Essay Is One Of My Favourite Forms Of Writing, And I Feel Like What's Inside Is Really Personal, More So Than With Shorter Pieces.

When Confronted With A Birthday In A Week I Will Remember That A Book Can Be A Really Good Present, Too.

You Know You Knit Too Much When ... You Will Check Out A Book From The Library Just Because You Heard That One Of The Characters Knits.

I Explain At The Parties That I Believe Knitting Is A Transformative And Intriguing Act That Can Change The Life And Brain Of The Person Doing It, And That Knitting Is A Perfect Metaphor For Life And Insight Into Some Better Ways Through It.

Dear Designer Of Questionable Intent, Please Send Me A Photo Of Yourself. Please Be Wearing The Knitted Pants That You Designed. It's Not That I Don't Believe That There Is Anyone Out There Thing Enough To Wear Horizontally Stripped Trousers Knit From Chunky Wool, It's Just That I Would Like To Know Whether You Are Deliberately Cruel Or Whether You Are The One Woman These Would Look Really Great On.

Achieving The State Of Sable Is Not, As Many People Who Live With These Knitters Believe, A Reason To Stop Buying Yarn, But For The Knitter It Is An Indication To Write A Will, Bequeathing The Stash To An Appropriate Heir.

The Best Reason For A Knitter To Marry Is That You Can't Teach The Cat To Be Impressed When You Finish A Lace Scarf.

There Is No Wrong Way To Knit. ... We Should All Agree To Stop Correcting Each Other And Deal With The More Important Issue. How Wrong Crochet Is.

100 Years Ago, Buying Something You Could Make Was Considered Wasteful; Now Making Something You Could Buy Is Considered Wasteful. I Am Not Convinced This Is A Step In The Right Direction.

Buying Something

...the Number One Reason Knitters Knit Is Because They Are So Smart That They Need Knitting To Make Boring Things Interesting.

The Rules Of Canadian Engagement Say That If We Encounter A Celebrity, We Have To Pretend We're Not Encountering A Celebrity.

When You Are Knitting Socks And Sweaters And Scarves, You Aren't Just Knitting. You Are Assigning A Value To Human Effort. You Are Holding Back Time. You Are Preserving The Simple Unchanging Act Of Handwork.

Just Because Something Is Fun Doesn't Mean It's A Waste Of Time.

I Am A Person Who Works Well Under Pressure. In Fact, I Work So Well Under Pressure That At Times, I Will Procrastinate In Order To Create This Pressure.

It's Only Knitting And It's One Of The Few Times In Your Life When There Are No Bad Consequences To A Mistake.

It Is Some Kind Of Miracle That All Knitting Is Constructed Of Only Two Stitches: Knit And Purl. Sure, You Throw In Some Yarn Overs, And Sometimes You Knit The Stitches Out Of Order, But When It Really Comes Down To It, Knitting Is Simplicity. The Most Incredible Gossamer Lace Shawl ... The Trickiest Aran ... A Humble Sock ... Each Just Made With Knit And Purl.

The Chances Of Running Out Of Yarn On A Project Are Directly Related To The Difficulty That You Will Have Getting More.

Knitters Just Can't Watch Tv Without Doing Something Else. Knitters Just Can't Wait In Line, Knitters Just Can't Sit Waiting At The Doctor's Office. Knitters Need Knitting To Add A Layer Of Interest In Other, Less Constructive Ways.

The Only Difference Between An Experienced Knitter And New Knitter Is That The Experienced Knitter Makes Bigger Mistakes Faster. Be Bold; There Are No Terrible Consequences In Knitting.

...the Number One Reason Knitters Knit Is Because They Are So Smart That They Need Knitting To Make Boring Things Interesting. Knitters Are So Compellingly Clever That They Simply Can't Tolerate Boredom. It Takes More To Engage And Entertain This Kind Of Human, And They Need An Outlet Or They Get Into Trouble. "...knitters Just Can't Watch Tv Without Doing Something Else. Knitters Just Can't Wait In Line, Knitters Just Can't Sit Waiting At The Doctor's Office. Knitters Need Knitting To Add A Layer Of Interest In Other, Less Constructive Ways.

You Don't Knit Because You Are Patient. You Are Patient Because You Knit

It Is A Little Known Fact That Much Like Birds, Who Can Always Find North, Knitters Can Always Find Yarn.

In The Nineteeth Century, Knitting Was Prescribed To Women As A Cure For Nervousness And Hysteria. Many New Knitters Find This Sort Of Hard To Believe Because, Until You Get Good At It, Knitting Seems To Cause Those Ailments. The Twitch Above My Right Eye Will Disappear With Knitting Practice.

As Usual, The Sock Yarns Have No Idea What Is Going On.

When People See Me Knitting, I Tell Them I'm A Knitter. Not The Sort Of Knitter They May Have Run Into Before, But A Passionate, Constant, Deliberate Knitter. I Knit Everyday, All The Time, Everywhere I Go.

I Will Not Let The Non-knitters Of The World Decide How Normal I Am.

Some Knitters Say That They Buy Yarn With No Project In Mind And Wait Patiently For The Yarn To "speak" To Them. This Reminds Me Of Michelangelo, Who Believed That Every Block Of Stone He Carved Had The Statue Waiting Inside And That All He Did Was Reveal It. I Think I've Had Yarn Speak To Me During The Knitting Process, And I've Definitely Spoken To It. Perhaps I'm Doing It Wrong, Or Maybe My Yarn And I Aren't On Such Good Terms, But It Really Seems To Me That All I Say Is "please" And All It Ever Says Is "no".

I Will Always Buy Extra Yarn. I Will Not Try To Tempt Fate.

Your Average Knitter, Obsessed As We Are With The Art Form, Is Quickly Going To Begin Producing Far More In The Way Of Warm Things Than Are Needed By Even An Arctic-bound Knitter. Knitting Breeds Generosity, True...but Perhaps In A Hurry To Avoid Burying Ourselves In Hand-knits. There Are Only So Many Scarves One Knitter Can Use.

I Will Resist The Urge To Underestimate The Complexity Of Knitting.

I Do Know That There Isn't Ever Going To Be A Time When There Aren't Any Knitters.

The Twitch Above My Right Eye Will Disappear With Knitting Practice.

Knitting Is A Boon For Those Of Us Who Are Easily Bored. I Take My Knitting Everywhere To Take The Edge Off Of Moments That Would Otherwise Drive Me Stark Raving Mad.

The First Time You Find Yourself Having A Conversation About Moss Stitch With A Group Of People Who Aren't Desperately Trying To Escape You ... It's Like Coming Home.

I Make A Habit Of Setting Aside Some Time Each Evening To Take Out My Knitting And Work Quietly On It, Happily Relaxing. I Believe That It Prepares Me For Sleep And Washes Away The Cares Of My Day.i Will Consider That Intarsia, Or Fair Isle With Three Or More Colors In A Row, Prepares Nobody For Sleep And Cursing Loudly While Flinging Knitting Around The Living Room Is About As Far Away From Soothing As You Can Get.

It Took Me Years And Years Of Trial Efforts To Work Out That There Is Absolutely No Knitting Triumph I Can Achieve That My Husband Will Think Is Worth Being Woken Up For.

If You Were Ever Dumped After Knitting A Guy A Sweater, Consider The Possibility That The Problem Was With The Sweater, Not You. The Recipient Probably Took One Look At The Thing, Imagined A Lifetime Of Having To Pretend To Like (and Wear) This Sweater And Others Of Its Like, And Saw No Choice But To Flee Into The Night

I Recognize That Knitting Can Improve My Mood In Trying Circumstances

Sweaters Need To Be Imagined, Dreamed Over.

I Will Continue To Freak Out My Children By Knitting In Public. It's Good For Them.

Trending Author

Lawrence Lessig

Evander Holyfield

Christopher Hitchens

Category