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She Didn't Feel Thirty. But Then Again Again, What Was Being Thirty Supposed To Feel Like? When She Was Younger, Thirty Seemed So Far Away, She Thought That A Woman Of That Age Would Be So Wise And Knowledgeable, So Settled In Her Life With A Husband And Children And A Career. She Had None Of Those Things. She Still Felt As Clueless As She Had Felt When She Was Twenty, Only With A Few More Gray Hairs And Crow's Feet Around Her Eyes.

-Cecelia Ahern

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She Didn't Feel Thirty.

Cecelia Ahern

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She Didn't Feel Thirty. But Then Again Again, What Was Being Thirty Supposed To Feel Like? When She Was Younger, Thirty Seemed So Far Away, She Thought That A Woman Of That Age Would Be So Wise And Knowledgeable, So Settled In Her Life With A Husband And Children And A Career. She Had None Of Those Things. She Still Felt As Clueless As She Had Felt When She Was Twenty, Only With A Few More Gray Hairs And Crow's Feet Around Her Eyes.

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It's Like My Garden, Love. Everything Grows. Including Love. And With That Growing Everyday How Can You Expect Missing Her To Ever Fade Away? Everything Builds, Including Our Ability To Cope With It. That's How We Keep Going.

When Something Tragic Has Happened, You'll Find That You, The Tragicee, Become The Person That Has To Make Everything Comfortable For Everyone Else.... As A Tragicee And Future Divorcee, You'll Also Find That People Will Question You On The Biggest Decisions You've Ever Made In Your Life As Though You Hadn't Thought About Them At All Before – As Though, Through Their Twenty Questions And Dubious Faces, They're Going To Shine Light On Something That You Missed The Hundredth Time Around During Your Darkest Hours.

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Now Let Me Teach You Another Thing About My Daughter. I Love Her Very Much But She Has The Ability To Hide As Expertly As A Sock In A Washing Machine. No One Knows Where It Goes, Just As No One Knows Where She Goes, But At Least When She Decides To Come Back, We're All Here, Waiting For Her.

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As Long As You're Around, Your Life Is Too. So Just As You Shower Love And Affection And Attention On The Husbands, Wives, Parents, Children And Forever Friends Who Sorround You, You Have To Do So Equally With Your Life, Because It's Yours, It's You, And It's Always There Rooting For You, Cheering You On, Even When You Feel Like You Can't Do It. I Gave Up On My Life For A While, But What I've Learned Is That Even When That Happens And Especially When That Happens, Life Never Gives Up On You.

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I Love It Here In Boston And I Love Studying Medicine. But It’s Not Home. Dublin Is Home. Being Back With You Felt Like Home. I Miss My Best Friend. I’ve Met Some Great Guys Here, But I Didn’t Grow Up With Any Of Them Playing Cops And Robbers In My Back Garden. I Don’t Feel Like They Are Real Friends. I Haven’t Kicked Them In The Shins, Stayed Up All Night On Santa Watch With Them, Hung From Trees Pretending To Be Monkeys, Played Hotel, Or Laughed My Heart Out As Their Stomachs Were Pumped. It’s Kind Of Hard To Beat That.

I Just Need To Do Something New.... I've Got The Big Remote Control Of Life In My Hands, And I'm Ready To Start Pushing Some Buttons.

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...god Leads You To It And Takes You Through It.

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One Must Not Speak Of Such Things. One Is Still Scarred From That Experience.

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...all People Needed Was Time And Then They Could Figure Most Things Out Of Themselves.

I Always Pushed Myself. Whenever I Felt I Needed To Stop, I Made Myself Run Faster.

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Everything Happens For A Reason

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She Wanted To Be Irresponsible, She Wanted To Be Looked After, To Be Told That She Didn't Have To Worry About A Thing And That Someone Else Would Take Care Of Everything. How Easy Life Would Be Without Having Grown-up Problems To Worry About. And Then She Could Grow Up All Over Again.

She Had Been Given A Wonderful Gift: Life. Sometimes It Was Cruelly Taken Away Too Soon, But It's What You Did With It That Counted, Not How Long It Lasted.

But Even In Her Laughter There Was Something Missing. She Never Seemed To Be Truly Happy; She Just Seemed To Be Passing Time While She Waited For Something Else. She Was Tired Of Just Existing; She Wanted To Live.

Alex: Rosie, I Wanted You To Be The First Person To No That I’ve Decided To Become A Heart Surgeon! Rosie: Cool, Does It Pay Well? Alex: Rosie, It’s Not About The Money. Rosie: Where I Come From, It’s All About The Money. Probably Because I Don’t Have Any.

That's The Thing About Lessons, You Always Learn Them When You Don't Expect Them Or Want Them.

Inspirational Life

Yes It's Difficult. Yes It's Horrible. Yes It's The Worst Thing That Has Ever Happen In My Whole Life. But I Just Can't Give Up.

People Tell Stories And It's Up To Those Who Listen Whether To Believe Or Not." "shouldn't The Storyteller Believe It." "the Storyteller Should Tell It.

I Have Found That The Many Imbalances Within Our Individual Lives Result In An Overall More Worldly Balance. What I Mean Is That No Matter How Unfair I Think Something Is, I Need Only Look At The Bigger Picture To See How, In A Way, It Fits... However Impossible It Is To Understand It Or See It At The Time.

Whenever I Go To Germany I Find That My Readers Have T-shirts With My Book Covers Printed On Them. They Come To All The Events, They Have Gifts And They Come With Their Families. They Are Always Very Open To Sharing Their Personal Stories.

But Where Pain Was, Healing Could Come; Where Loneliness Was, New Relationships Could Be Formed; Where Rejection Was, New Love Could Be Found. It Was A Moment. And Moments Changed. She Would Have To Live Through The Moment To Get To The Next.

Moments Are Precious, Sometimes They Linger And Other Times They're Fleeing, And Yet So Much Could Be Done In Them; You Could Change A Mind, You Could Save A Life And You Could Even Fall In Love.

Falling In Love

Age Is Just A Number, Not A State Of Mind Or A Reason For Any Type Of Particular Behaviour.

I Used To Think That It Was Better To Have Too Much Than Too Little, But Now I Think If The Too Much Was Never Supposed To Be Yours, You Should Just Take What Is Yours And Give The Rest Back.

I'm Most Happy When I Am Writing At Night, Because I Need Space And Time To Write.

Truth Is, Something That I Thought Was Perfect Was Taken Away From Me, And I Never Wanted Perfect Again. I Wanted Middle Of The Road, Stuff I Didn’t Care About So That I Couldn’t Lose Anything I Really Loved Ever Again.

His Entired Life Bundled Into Wenty Refuse Sacks. His And Her Memories Bundle Away In Holly's Mind. Each Item Unearthed Dust, Tears, Laughter And Memories. She Bagged The Items, Cleared The Dust, Wiped Her Eyes And Filed Away The Memories.

He Tried To Tell Me Week After Week To Accept Things As They Were And Move On With My Life. But If There Was One Man Who Had Put His Life On Hold To Wait For Something Or Someone, It Was Him.

Often When We Realize How Precious Those Seconds Are, It's Too Late For Them To Be Captured Because The Moment Has Passed. We Realize Too Late.

Oh Well, Is It Hurting Anyone? Because If Its Not And You’ve Been Given It, I’d As Soon Stop Calling It A Thing And Start Referring To It As A Gift.

There Are Certain Kinds Of Silence That Make You Walk On Air.

But With Your Life You Make A Few Bad Decisions, Get Unlucky A Few Times, Whatever, But You Have To Keep Going, Right?

My Box Bedroom Can Only Fit A Bed And A Wardrobe But It Was My Whole World. My Only Personal Space To Think And Dream, To Cry And Laugh And Wait Until I Became Old Enough To Do All The Things I Wasn't Allowed To Do.

You Never Forget About Things You've Done That You Know You Shouldn't Have Done. They Hang Around Your Mind, Linger Like A Thief Casing A Joint For A Future Job. You See Them There, Dramatically Lurking Nearby In Striped Monochrome, Leaping Behind Postboxes As Soon As Your Head Whips Around To Confront Them. Or It's A Familiar Face In A Crowd That You Glimpse But Then Lose Sight Of. An Annoying Where's Wally? Forever Locked Away And Hidden In Every Thought In Your Conscience. The Bad Thing That You Did, Always There To Let You Know.

That Was Other Thing I Hated About Kids; They Always Said Th Exact Things That Deep Dpwn You Already Knew, Would Never Admit, And Most Certainly Never Wanted To Hear.

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I Lost My Dad. He Lost His Tomorrows And I Lost All The Tomorrows With Him. You Could Say That Now, I Appreciate Them When They Come. Now, I Want To Make Them The Best They Can Possibly Be.

Holly Smiled Weakly. Gerry Would Know Exactly How She Was Feeling, He Would Know Exactly What To Say And He Would Know Exactly What To Do. He Would Give Her One Of His Famous Hugs And All Her Problems Would Melt Away. She Grabbed A Pillow From Her Bed And Hugged It Tight. She Couldn't Remember The Last Time She Hugged Someone, Really Hugged Someone. And The Depressing Thing Was That She Couldn't Imagine Ever Embracing Anyone The Same Way Again.

Every Single Time You Crossed Over For Me And Met Me On My Side. I Realize Now, I Don't Think I Ever Met You In The Middle. And I Don't Think I Ever Once Said That You For That.

To New Beginnings. To The Pursuit Of...somethingness.

Twice We Stood Beside Each Other At The Altar, Rosie. Twice. And Twice We Got It Wrong. I Needed You To Be There For My Wedding Day But I Was Too Stupid To See That I Needed You To Be The Reason For My Wedding Day. But We Got It All Wrong.

Two Lost Things That Had Survived The Seas And Arrived On A Coastline. What Did They Do? They Implanted Themselves In The Sand And Grew Into Trees And Lined The Beaches. Sometimes A Lot Can Come Of Being All Washed Up. You Can Really Grow.

That's What Life Is About: People Come And Go.

They Say A Story Loses Something With Each Telling.

I Can’t Even Think About What Life “could Have Been” Like In Boston, Without Crying. It’s Like Deja-vu, I Don’t Think Me And Boston Were Ever Meant To Be.

Holly's Theory About The Army," Sharon Explained. And What Is It?" Denise Asked, Intrigued. Oh, That Fighting For Peace Is Like Screwing For Virginity.

It's Not About Finding Mr Right, Or That Sort Of Conventional Ending, But I Do Want My Characters To Have Hope - And That's What I Do With All My Stories.

What Was That Thing That Could Make Two People Promise One Another To Spend Every Day Of The Rest Of Their Lives Together? Ah,i Found It. It Was A Thing Called Love. A Small Simple Word.

What If We Knew What Tomorrow Would Bring? Would We Fix It? Could We?

Tonight I'm Happy. I Will Worry About Tomorrow When Tomorrow Comes. But I'm Getting There.

I Don't Know Why, But There's Always The Part Of You, The Part That Hides In The Shadows Protecting The Self-destruct Button, That Doesn't Ever Want To Leave The Dark Behind.

At Your Weakest, You End Up Showing More Strength; At Your Lowest, You Are Suddenly Lifted Higher Than You’ve Ever Been. They All Border One Another, These Opposites And Show How Quickly We Can Be Altered.

You Know, Sarcasm Is The Lowest Form Of Wit.' 'and Yet It Is Still Extremely Funny.

Extremely Funny

We Have A Long Way To Go To Being The Perfect Couple, We Certainly Don’t Live The Fairy Tale Marriage, He Doesn’t Shower Me With Rose Petals And Fly Me To Paris On Weekends But When I Get My Hair Cut, He Notices. When I Dress Up To Go Out At Night, He Compliments Me. When I Cry, He Wipes My Tears. When I Feel Lonely, He Makes Me Feel Loved. And Who Needs Paris, When You Can Get A Hug?

It’s Not Easy Remembering The Good Times.

Alone Because Love Was One Of Those Feelings That You Could Never Have Control Of. And She Needed To Be In Control. She Had Loved Before, Had Been Loved, Had Tasted What It Was To Dream, And Had Felt What It Was To Dance On Air. She Had Also Learned What It Was To Cruelly Land Back On The Earth With A Thud.

I'm Never Overwhelmed Or Under It Either; Just Nicely Whelmed. I'm Ok. Nothing Spectacular But Sometimes Special. I Look In The Mirror And See This Medium Average Person. A Little Tired, A Little Sad, But Not Falling Apart.

Sighs And Silences And Avoided Conversations Are Just As Important As The Things You Do Talk About.

Day-to-day Things, The Mundane, Are What Keeps The Motor Running. How Extraordinary The Ordinary Really Is, A Tool We All Use To Keep Going, A Template For Sanity.

.. Then When The Hurt Goes, Anger Takes Its Place; When The Anger Runs Out Of System, Loneliness Steps In To Take Over. It's A Never Ending Circle Of Emotions; Every Lost Emotion Being Replaced By Another.

Anyway, It Doesn't Matter How Much, How Often, Or How Closely You Keep An Eye On Things Because You Can't Control It. Sometimes Things And People Just Go. Just Like That.

To Mention It Was To Ask A Favor And That As You Were Too Generous, And As For Her To Ask Was Always To Have, She Wouldn't

Life Has A Way Of Getting What It Wants When It Really Knows What It Wants.

I Generally Don’t Become Overexcited About Things Anyway, I’m Just Not One Of Those People. I’m Not Easily Surprised By Things Either. I Think It’s Because I Expect That Anything Can Happen

Anything Can Happen

Decide Where And When You Want To Write. I Like Space, And Silence Is An Inspiration To Me.

Life Is Funny Isn’t It? Just When You Think You’ve Got It All Figured Out, Just When You Finally Begin To Plan Something, Get Excited About Something, And Feel Like You Know What Direction You’re Heading In, The Paths Change, The Signs Change, The Wind Blows The Other Way, North Is Suddenly South, And East Is West, And You’re Lost. It Is So Easy To Lose Your Way, To Lose Direction. And That’s With Following All The Signposts

There’s Something Completely Unnerving About Seeing Your Parents Upset. I Suppose It’s Because They’re Supposed To Be The Strong Ones, But That’s Not Just It. Ever Since People Are Kids They Use Their Parents As Some Sort Of Measurement For How Bad A Situation Is. When You Fall On The Ground Really Hard And You Can’t Figure Out Whether It Hurts Or Not You Look To Your Parents. If They Look Worried And Rush Toward You, You Cry. If They Laugh And Smack The Ground Saying “bold Ground,” Then You Pick Yourself Up And Get On With It.

What A Luxury It Was For People To Hold Their Loved Ones Whenever They Wanted

I Can Only Assume That There’s Only One Thing More Frustrating Than Not Being Able To Find Someone, And That’s Not Being Found. I Would Want Someone To Find Me, More Than Anything.

She Needed To Talk, She Needed To Cry, She Needed To Vent All Her Frustrations And Disappointments.

And Nobody Had Told Them That They Were Short On Time.

Hundreds Of Butts In Piles On The Ground To Mark The Spot, Their Lives Sucked Out Of Them By Their Users In Panicked Distressed Frenzy, Their Souls Floating Around The Insides Of Lungs While Their Outsides Were Dropped, Stamped On And Deserted

As The Rain Falls And The Sun Shines, They Grow, Grow, Grow; Minds So Open, They Go Through Life Aware And Accepting, Seeing Light Where There's Dark, Seeing Possibility In Dead Ends, Tasting Victory As Others Spit Out Failure, Questioning Where Others Accept. Just A Little Less Jaded, A Little Less Cynical.

After Having My Baby I Felt Like I'd Been Introduced To My Life, I Slowed Down, I Paid More Attention To Simple Things, I Addressed A Few Issues In My Own Life, I Even Got Married, I Looked At What Was Important And What Wasn't, And So I Used That Experience For Inspiration.

Perhaps I’ve Been Rushing My Whole Entire Life, Jumping Into Things Headfirst Without Thinking Them Through. Running Through The Days Without Noticing The Minutes.

Your Heart Can Break At Any Age.

Somewhere Along The Way, Without Me Even Noticing, I Grew Up Alex. For Once, I Couldn’t Take Advice From Anyone Around Me About What I Should Or Shouldn’t Do. I Couldn’t Go Running To Mum And Dad And I Can’t Compare My Marriage To Anybody Else’s, We All Follow Our Own Rules.

We Said We Would Meet Again But We Made No Arrangements. Not Out Of Any Bad Feeling Between Us, But Because I Felt It Had All Been Said, Or Not Said But Understood, And She Probably Did Too. To Know She Was There Was Enough, And For Her To Know I Was Around Was Probably Too. Sometimes That's All People Ever Really Need. Just To Know.

Seeming And Being Are Not One And The Same.

Are You Saying That The Feeling Of Searching For A Missing Sock Is Like Searching For Love ?

Searching For Love

I Think I Need To Face What I Could Have Been In Order To Understand And Accept What I Am.

This Story Is About People,secrets And Time.about People Who, Not Unlike Parcels,hide Secrets,who Cover Themselves With Layers Until They Present Themselves To The Right Ones Who Can Unwrap Them And See Inside.

Being The Best Was As Equal To Being In The Middle, Which Was Equal To Being The Worst. All Were Merely A State Of Being. It Was How A Person Felt In That State And Why They Were In That State That Was The Important Thing.

So Many Objects, So Many Memories. Each Was Being Labelled And Packed Away In Bags Just As It Was In Her Mind. To Be Stored In An Area That Would Sometime Be Called Upon To Teach And Help In Future Life.

If Invisible People Eat Invisible Food Does Invisible Wind Blow Invisible Trees?

She Couldn't Remember The Last Time She Hugged Someone, Really Hugged Someone.

What Seems Tragic Now Won't Even Be An Issue In A Few Years Time.

We Haven't Lost Everything, If We Haven't Lost Our Hope.

Lost Everything

You Gotta Be Rich To Be Insane, Hol. Losing Your Mind Is Not A Luxury For The Middle Class.

There's No Limit To What You Can Dream. You Expect The Unexpected, You Believe In Magic, In Fairy Tales, And In Possibilities. Then You Grow Older And That Innocence Is Shattered And Somewhere Along The Way The Reality Of Life Gets In The Way And You're Hit By The Realization That You Can't Be All You Wanted To Be, You Just Might Have To Settle For A Little Bit Less.

Journalism Classes Teach Us That One Must Extract Oneself From The Story In Order To Report Without Bias, But Often We Need To Be In The Story In Order To Understand, To Connect, To Help The Audience Identify Or Else It Has No Heart; It Could Be A Robot Telling The Story, For All Anyone Cares.

Nobody Can Pretend To Know What People Want To Read Or Hear Or See. People Rarely Know It Themselves; They Only Know It After The Fact.

Some People Say That You Shouldn't Operate From A Place Of Fear But If There Is No Fear, How Is There A Challenge?

I Never Grew Up Thinking The Goal In Life Was To Be A Millionaire. All The Way Through College, I Had A Part-time Job. I Worked Hard To Get The Things That You Need At That Age.

It's Not The Job Of This Town To Make Me Feel Happy. It's Not This Town´s Fault That I Don't Feel I Fit In. It Doesn't Matter Where You Are In The World, Because It's About Where You Are In Your Head. It's About The Other World I Inhabit. The World Of Dreams, Hope, Imagination, And Memories. I'm Happy Up Here, And Because Of That I'm Happy Up There Too

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Anthony De Mello

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