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Once Again, I Don’t Quite Know Where I’m Headed Steph. It Seems That Every Few Years I’m Shoveling Up The Pieces Of My Life And Starting From Scratch All Over. No Matter What I Do Or How Hard I Try I Can’t Seem To Reach The Dizzy Heights Of Happiness, Success, And Security, Like So Many People Do. And I’m Not Talking About Becoming A Millionaire And Living Happily Ever After. I Just Mean Reaching A Point In My Life That I Can Stop What I’m Doing, Take A Look Around Me, Breathe A Sigh Of Relief, And Think “i’m Where I Want To Be Now.

-Cecelia Ahern

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Once Again, I Don’t

Cecelia Ahern

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Once Again, I Don’t Quite Know Where I’m Headed Steph. It Seems That Every Few Years I’m Shoveling Up The Pieces Of My Life And Starting From Scratch All Over. No Matter What I Do Or How Hard I Try I Can’t Seem To Reach The Dizzy Heights Of Happiness, Success, And Security, Like So Many People Do. And I’m Not Talking About Becoming A Millionaire And Living Happily Ever After. I Just Mean Reaching A Point In My Life That I Can Stop What I’m Doing, Take A Look Around Me, Breathe A Sigh Of Relief, And Think “i’m Where I Want To Be Now.

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This Love Thing Awakened A Group Of Slumbering Senses In My Body That I Never Even Knew Existed.

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There Were Hundreds Of Them Spread Across The Floor, Each Telling Its Own Tale Of Triumph Or Sadness, Each Letter Representing A Phase In Her Life. She Had Kept Them All.

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That Was Other Thing I Hated About Kids; They Always Said Th Exact Things That Deep Dpwn You Already Knew, Would Never Admit, And Most Certainly Never Wanted To Hear.

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Age Is Just A Number, Not A State Of Mind Or A Reason For Any Type Of Particular Behaviour.

Life Is Funny Isn’t It? Just When You Think You’ve Got It All Figured Out, Just When You Finally Begin To Plan Something, Get Excited About Something, And Feel Like You Know What Direction You’re Heading In, The Paths Change, The Signs Change, The Wind Blows The Other Way, North Is Suddenly South, And East Is West, And You’re Lost. It Is So Easy To Lose Your Way, To Lose Direction. And That’s With Following All The Signposts

Maybe Love Is Thinking That Every Time Your Partner Does Or Says Something Mundane That You Want To Start A Mexican Wave From Here To Uzbekistan In Utter Delight.

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Extremely Funny

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What Is It With Science These Days? Everyone Is So Quick To Believe In It, In All These New Scientific Discoveries, New Pills For This, New Pills For That. Get Thinner, Grow Hair, Yada, Yada, Yada, But When It Requires A Little Faith In Something You All Go Crazy.' He Shook His Head, 'if Miracles Had Chemical Equations Then Everyone Would Believe.

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Our Life Is Made Up Of Time; Our Days Are Measured In Hours, Our Pay Measured By Those Hours, Our Knowledge Is Measured By Years. We Grab A Few Quick Minutes In Our Busy Day To Have A Coffee Break. We Rush Back To Our Desks, We Watch The Clock, We Live By Appointments. And Yet Your Time Eventually Runs Out And You Wonder In Your Heart Of Hearts If Those Seconds, Minutes, Hours, Days, Weeks, Months, Years And Decades Were Being Spent The Best Way They Possibly Could. In Other Words, If You Could Change Anything, Would You?

They Worry About My Sanity I Join With Them On That

A Veil Hangs Between The Two Opposites, A Mere Slip Of A Thing That Is Transparent To Warn Us Or Comfort Us. You Hate Now But Look Through This Veil And See The Possibility Of Love; You're Sad Now But Look Through To The Other Side And See Happiness. Absolute Composure To A Complete Mess - It Happens So Quickly, All In The Blink Of An Eye.

Love Can Change Us Beyond Recognition, We Become Love-sick, Soft-eyed Jelly-bellied Fools.

Children Are The Ones That Know Exactly What's Going On In The World, You Know. They 'see' More Than Adults, 'believe' In More, Are Honest, And Will Always, 'always' Let You Know Where You Stand.

She Had Been Given A Wonderful Gift: Life. Sometimes It Was Cruelly Taken Away Too Soon, But It's What You Did With It That Counted, Not How Long It Lasted.

What A Luxury It Was For People To Hold Their Loved Ones Whenever They Wanted

Every Single Ordinary Person Has An Extraordinary Story.

I Would Love To Write A Mystery - A Romantic, Funny Mystery.

Sighs And Silences And Avoided Conversations Are Just As Important As The Things You Do Talk About.

I Don't Know Why, But There's Always The Part Of You, The Part That Hides In The Shadows Protecting The Self-destruct Button, That Doesn't Ever Want To Leave The Dark Behind.

She Was Tired Of Hugging Pillows, Counting On Blankets For Warmth, And Reliving Romantic Moments Only In Her Dreams. She Was Tired Of Hoping That Every Day Would Hurry So She Could Get On To The Next. Hoping That It Would Be A Better Day, An Easier Day. But It Never Was. Worked, Paid The Bills, And Went To Bed But Never Slept. Each Morning The Weight On Her Shoulders Got Heavier And Heavier And Each Morning She Wished For Night To Fall Quickly So She Could Return To Her Bed To Hug Her Pillows And Wrap Herself In The Warmth Of Her Blankets.

Often When We Realize How Precious Those Seconds Are, It's Too Late For Them To Be Captured Because The Moment Has Passed. We Realize Too Late.

Every Single Time You Crossed Over For Me And Met Me On My Side. I Realize Now, I Don't Think I Ever Met You In The Middle. And I Don't Think I Ever Once Said That You For That.

But With Your Life You Make A Few Bad Decisions, Get Unlucky A Few Times, Whatever, But You Have To Keep Going, Right?

Is Not Where I Live Happily Ever After, Or Who With. It's The Fact That I Live Happily Ever After.

Happily Ever After

There's A Fine Line Between Love And Hate.love Frees A Soul And In The Same Breath Can Sometimes Suffocate It.

Life Is Everything, And You Haven't Lived It Properly Until You Believe.

Life Has A Way Of Getting What It Wants When It Really Knows What It Wants.

I Make It Easier For People To Leave By Making Them Hate Me A Little.

Holly's Theory About The Army," Sharon Explained. And What Is It?" Denise Asked, Intrigued. Oh, That Fighting For Peace Is Like Screwing For Virginity.

Chin Up, Don’t Smile, Don’t Cry, Don’t Fall, Walk.

We Each Have Our Hiding Places And We Each Put Up With The Little Quirks Of The People We Love.

Aim For What U Want And The Year Will All Make A Sense.

We Had Come Here To Have A Break From Thoughts And The Hard Work That Came With The Constant Interaction With Idiots. Or At Least People We Considered Idiots Because They Were Not Mind Readers And We Had To, Patiently, Use Polite Words To Explain Things That We Were Thinking When Really Inside We Were Fighting The Urge To Take Their Heads In Our Hands And Softly And Repeatedly Thud Their Foreheads Off The Wall.

Time Is More Precious Than Gold, More Precious Than Diamonds, More Precious Than Oil Or Any Valuable Treasures. It Is Time That We Do Not Have Enough Of; It Is Time That Causes The War Within Our Hearts, And So We Must Spend It Wisely.

She Strived For Perfection. She Loved Setting Herself Tasks, Sometimes Impossible Ones, To Prove To Her Heart That Underneath Every Seemingly Ugly Thing There Was Something Beautiful Inside.

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They Say A Story Loses Something With Each Telling.

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It's Like My Garden, Love. Everything Grows. Including Love. And With That Growing Everyday How Can You Expect Missing Her To Ever Fade Away? Everything Builds, Including Our Ability To Cope With It. That's How We Keep Going.

The Important Thing Is Not What We Look Like, But The Role We Play In Our Best Friend’s Life. Friends Choose Certain Friends Because That’s The Kind Of Company They Are Looking For At That Specific Time, Not Because They’re The Correct Height, Age, Or Have The Right Hair Color

I Write Human Stories. I Write About People. Not As A Product Of Their Environment. But From The Stance That Everybody Is Made Of The Same Thing.

Decide Where And When You Want To Write. I Like Space, And Silence Is An Inspiration To Me.

What Seems Tragic Now Won't Even Be An Issue In A Few Years Time.

My Box Bedroom Can Only Fit A Bed And A Wardrobe But It Was My Whole World. My Only Personal Space To Think And Dream, To Cry And Laugh And Wait Until I Became Old Enough To Do All The Things I Wasn't Allowed To Do.

Alone Because Love Was One Of Those Feelings That You Could Never Have Control Of. And She Needed To Be In Control. She Had Loved Before, Had Been Loved, Had Tasted What It Was To Dream, And Had Felt What It Was To Dance On Air. She Had Also Learned What It Was To Cruelly Land Back On The Earth With A Thud.

I Just Need To Do Something New.... I've Got The Big Remote Control Of Life In My Hands, And I'm Ready To Start Pushing Some Buttons.

Paths Are So Much Clearer When People Stop Looking At What Everyone Else Is Doing And Instead Concentrate On Themselves ~gabe

Don't Be Afraid To Fall In Love Again. Open Your Heart And Follow Where It Leads You...and Remember, Shoot For The Moon.

Falling In Love

Slow Down. Stop Trying To Do Everything Now, Now, Now. Hold Up The People Behind You For All You Care, Feel Them Kicking At Your Heels But Maintain Your Pace. Don't Let Anybody Dictate Your Speed.

Nobody's Life Is Filled With Perfect Little Moments. And If It Were, They Wouldn't Be Perfect Little Moments. They Would Just Be Normal. How Would You Ever Know Happiness If You Never Experience Downs?

Time Cant Be Given. But It Can Be Shared.

I Always Pushed Myself. Whenever I Felt I Needed To Stop, I Made Myself Run Faster.

She Didn't Feel Thirty. But Then Again Again, What Was Being Thirty Supposed To Feel Like? When She Was Younger, Thirty Seemed So Far Away, She Thought That A Woman Of That Age Would Be So Wise And Knowledgeable, So Settled In Her Life With A Husband And Children And A Career. She Had None Of Those Things. She Still Felt As Clueless As She Had Felt When She Was Twenty, Only With A Few More Gray Hairs And Crow's Feet Around Her Eyes.

Hundreds Of Butts In Piles On The Ground To Mark The Spot, Their Lives Sucked Out Of Them By Their Users In Panicked Distressed Frenzy, Their Souls Floating Around The Insides Of Lungs While Their Outsides Were Dropped, Stamped On And Deserted

Sometimes We Have Absolutely No Idea Where We Are, We Need The Smallest Clue To Show Us Where To Begin.

Perhaps I’ve Been Rushing My Whole Entire Life, Jumping Into Things Headfirst Without Thinking Them Through. Running Through The Days Without Noticing The Minutes.

Holly Smiled Weakly. Gerry Would Know Exactly How She Was Feeling, He Would Know Exactly What To Say And He Would Know Exactly What To Do. He Would Give Her One Of His Famous Hugs And All Her Problems Would Melt Away. She Grabbed A Pillow From Her Bed And Hugged It Tight. She Couldn't Remember The Last Time She Hugged Someone, Really Hugged Someone. And The Depressing Thing Was That She Couldn't Imagine Ever Embracing Anyone The Same Way Again.

Now Let Me Teach You Another Thing About My Daughter. I Love Her Very Much But She Has The Ability To Hide As Expertly As A Sock In A Washing Machine. No One Knows Where It Goes, Just As No One Knows Where She Goes, But At Least When She Decides To Come Back, We're All Here, Waiting For Her.

More Often Than Not, The Easy Decisions Are The Wrong Decisions, And Sometimes We Feel Like We're Going Backward When We're Actually Moving Forward.

"what Is It With People These Days?" He Hisses... "in My Day, Something Just Was. None Of This Analysis A Hundred Times Over. None Of These College Courses With People Graduating With Degrees In Whys And Hows And Becauses. Sometimes, Love, You Just Need To Forget All Of Those Words And Enroll In A Little Lesson Called 'thank You.'"

Imagining And Fantasizing Did Nothing But Break Her Heart.

Finding Someone You Love And Who Loves You Back Is A Wonderful, Wonderful Feeling. But Finding A True Soul Mate Is An Even Better Feeling. A Soul Mate Is Someone Who Understands You Like No Other, Loves You Like No Other, Will Be There For You Forever, No Matter What. They Say That Nothing Lasts Forever, But I Am A Firm Believer In The Fact That For Some, Love Lives On Even After We're Gone.

When Something Tragic Has Happened, You'll Find That You, The Tragicee, Become The Person That Has To Make Everything Comfortable For Everyone Else.... As A Tragicee And Future Divorcee, You'll Also Find That People Will Question You On The Biggest Decisions You've Ever Made In Your Life As Though You Hadn't Thought About Them At All Before – As Though, Through Their Twenty Questions And Dubious Faces, They're Going To Shine Light On Something That You Missed The Hundredth Time Around During Your Darkest Hours.

She Would Make Facial Expressions As Though She Were Having Conversations With People In Her Head.they Seemed To Turn Into Debates More Often Than Not,judging By The Activity On Her Forehead...it Was Almost The Conversations In Her Head Were Loud Enough To Fill Her Silence.

I Wake Up In The Morning And I Feel Like I’m Missing Something. I Know That There’s Something Not Right, And It Takes Me A While To Remember What It Is . . . Then I Remember. My Best Friend Is Gone. My Only Friend. It Was Silly Of Me To Rely So Much On One Person.

There’s Something Completely Unnerving About Seeing Your Parents Upset. I Suppose It’s Because They’re Supposed To Be The Strong Ones, But That’s Not Just It. Ever Since People Are Kids They Use Their Parents As Some Sort Of Measurement For How Bad A Situation Is. When You Fall On The Ground Really Hard And You Can’t Figure Out Whether It Hurts Or Not You Look To Your Parents. If They Look Worried And Rush Toward You, You Cry. If They Laugh And Smack The Ground Saying “bold Ground,” Then You Pick Yourself Up And Get On With It.

There Is No Advice That I Can Give You, You Will Just Have To Trust Yourself That When The Time Comes, You'll Make The Right Decision.

He Tried To Tell Me Week After Week To Accept Things As They Were And Move On With My Life. But If There Was One Man Who Had Put His Life On Hold To Wait For Something Or Someone, It Was Him.

She Couldn't Remember The Last Time She Hugged Someone, Really Hugged Someone.

Oh Well, Is It Hurting Anyone? Because If Its Not And You’ve Been Given It, I’d As Soon Stop Calling It A Thing And Start Referring To It As A Gift.

When You Drop A Glass Or A Plate To The Ground, It Makes A Crashing Sound. When A Window Shatters, A Table Breaks, Or A Picture Fall Of The Wall, It Makes Noise. But As For Your Heart, When That Breaks, It's Completely Silent... And You Almost Wish There Was A Noise To Distract You From The Pain.

You Never Forget About Things You've Done That You Know You Shouldn't Have Done. They Hang Around Your Mind, Linger Like A Thief Casing A Joint For A Future Job. You See Them There, Dramatically Lurking Nearby In Striped Monochrome, Leaping Behind Postboxes As Soon As Your Head Whips Around To Confront Them. Or It's A Familiar Face In A Crowd That You Glimpse But Then Lose Sight Of. An Annoying Where's Wally? Forever Locked Away And Hidden In Every Thought In Your Conscience. The Bad Thing That You Did, Always There To Let You Know.

.. Then When The Hurt Goes, Anger Takes Its Place; When The Anger Runs Out Of System, Loneliness Steps In To Take Over. It's A Never Ending Circle Of Emotions; Every Lost Emotion Being Replaced By Another.

At Your Weakest, You End Up Showing More Strength; At Your Lowest, You Are Suddenly Lifted Higher Than You’ve Ever Been. They All Border One Another, These Opposites And Show How Quickly We Can Be Altered.

We Said We Would Meet Again But We Made No Arrangements. Not Out Of Any Bad Feeling Between Us, But Because I Felt It Had All Been Said, Or Not Said But Understood, And She Probably Did Too. To Know She Was There Was Enough, And For Her To Know I Was Around Was Probably Too. Sometimes That's All People Ever Really Need. Just To Know.

I Have Found That The Many Imbalances Within Our Individual Lives Result In An Overall More Worldly Balance. What I Mean Is That No Matter How Unfair I Think Something Is, I Need Only Look At The Bigger Picture To See How, In A Way, It Fits... However Impossible It Is To Understand It Or See It At The Time.

Are You Saying That The Feeling Of Searching For A Missing Sock Is Like Searching For Love ?

Searching For Love

I'm Most Happy When I Am Writing At Night, Because I Need Space And Time To Write.

Yes It's Difficult. Yes It's Horrible. Yes It's The Worst Thing That Has Ever Happen In My Whole Life. But I Just Can't Give Up.

It's Not The Job Of This Town To Make Me Feel Happy. It's Not This Town´s Fault That I Don't Feel I Fit In. It Doesn't Matter Where You Are In The World, Because It's About Where You Are In Your Head. It's About The Other World I Inhabit. The World Of Dreams, Hope, Imagination, And Memories. I'm Happy Up Here, And Because Of That I'm Happy Up There Too

To New Beginnings. To The Pursuit Of...somethingness.

You Gotta Be Rich To Be Insane, Hol. Losing Your Mind Is Not A Luxury For The Middle Class.

The Important Thing Is Not What We (look) Like,but The Role We Play In Our Best Friend's Life.

We All Get Lost Once In A While, Sometimes By Choice, Sometimes Due To Forces Beyond Our Control. When We Learn What It Is Our Soul Needs To Learn, The Path Presents Itself. Sometimes We See The Way Out But Wander Further And Deeper Despite Ourselves; The Fear, The Anger Or The Sadness Preventing Us Returning. Sometimes We Prefer To Be Lost And Wandering, Sometimes It's Easier. Sometimes We Find Our Own Way Out. But Regardless, Always, We Are Found.

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