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One Of The Challenges You Will Face Is Finding A Job In Our Depressed Economy, ... In Fact, The Chances Of Finding A Job Are About As Good As Finding Weapons Of Mass Destruction In The Iraqi Desert -- Slim And None, And Slim Just Left The Building.

-Will Ferrell

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One Of The Challenges

Will Ferrell

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One Of The Challenges You Will Face Is Finding A Job In Our Depressed Economy, ... In Fact, The Chances Of Finding A Job Are About As Good As Finding Weapons Of Mass Destruction In The Iraqi Desert -- Slim And None, And Slim Just Left The Building.

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Mass Destruction

More From Will Ferrell

You Did It! Congratulations! World's Best Cup Of Coffee! Great Job, Everybody! It's Great To Be Here.

Congratulations

I'd Love To Become Like Bill Murray, Who Was So Funny On 'saturday Night Live' And Has Gone On To Do Some Of The Landmark Comedies People Like. And Then To Add This Whole Other Phase To His Career With 'lost In Translation' And 'rushmore.' I Always Felt To Be Able To Have Something Similar To That Would Be Great.

I Like Challenging Myself. I Like The Challenge Of Rapping To Fast Beats, Rapping To Beats That Are Super Slow, Whatever. I Like The Challenges, So I'm Not Afraid To Take On Any Piece Of Music And Create A Song To It If It Feels Right To Me.

I'm A Bit Of A Gourmet Chef. I Love Cooking - Mostly Thai Food.

I Often Don't Think A Lot About The Ramifications Of Anything I Do.

We All Know The Moon Isn't Made Out Of Green Cheese...but If It Was Made Out Of Barbeque Spare Ribs Would You Eat It?

I'm Professional, I'm Allowed To Say This. I Let Him Lick My Balls. So, That's What You Need To Get Close With Your Animal.

Facebook Is Like Jail, You Sit Around And Waste Time, You Write On Walls And You Get Poked By People You Don't Know

Alcohol Is Like Photoshop For Real Life

I Don't Really Think In Absolutes.

Before You Marry A Person, You Should First Make Them Use A Computer With Slow Internet To See Who They Really Are.

I Think Whatever An Artist Does, It Just Has To Be Quality And Good. I Think The Way Kanye's Doing What He's Doing With The Auto-tune Is Actually Creative Because He Just Writes Good Melodies. He Just Writes Good Songs. He's Just Gifted.

I Speak As Much Spanish As Anyone Who Has Grown Up In Southern California Or Texas Or Arizona. I Had My Three Years Of High-school Spanish And A Couple Of Semesters In College.

I'm The Minority In My House Sometimes. My Wife Is Swedish, And We Go To Sweden And Everyone Is Rattling Off In Swedish. It's Like, 'ok, I Can Just Read A Book.'

I Will Watch A Movie That Is Quote Unquote Dark And Not Get The Qualification Of What Is Dark And What Is Not.

Anyone Can Memorize Facts And Figures. The Real Way To Learn Anything Is To Go Out And Experience It. Let Your Curiosity Lead You.

I Love Watching People Be Totally Committed In A Very Real Way To Stupid Situations. I Find It's Not So Much Trying To Be Funny, It's Trying To Be Real In A Messed Up Context. That's Comedy To Me.

I Think You Can't Do Any Action Without In Some Way Paying Homage To John Woo. He's The Guy Who Just Invented That Sort Of Next Level Of Poetic Nasty Action.

New York Is A Fun Town To Go Out In. During My Twenties And Into My Thirties I Had A Good Time Partying, Yes. But Nothing Where I Woke Up And I Thought That I Had A Problem.

I Just Fell Down The Stairs Holding A Guitar And Accidentally Wrote A One Direction Song

I Still Regret That I Never Played Soccer In High School. I Chose Basketball Over Soccer.

In Every Circle Of Friends There's Always That One Person Everyone Secretly Hates. Don't Have One? Then It's Probably You.

That One Person

I Think A Lot Of The Instincts You Have Doing Comedy Are Really The Same For Doing Drama, In That It's Essentially About Listening. The Way I Approach Comedy, Is You Have To Commit To Everything As If It's A Dramatic Role, Meaning You Play It Straight.

In Junior High P.e., I Was Way Too Shy To Take A Shower In Front Of The Other Kids. It Was A Horribly Awkward Time - Body Hair, Odors... So I'd Go From My Sweaty Shirt Back Into My Regular Clothes And Have To Continue The Day.

That's What I Think Works The Best, And What I Think Makes The Best Comedy - Something That's Completely Committed And More Approached As An Acting Exercise, As Opposed To Being Worried About Whether To Be Funny Or Not. The Comedy Comes From The Context.

Now We Have Food Networks And Everything. Cnn Was The Beginning Of All Of That.

I've Always Associated Consciousness With Artists Like Bob Marley Or Joni Mitchell Or Bob Dylan. You Know, Artists That Really Talked About What Was Going On In The World And Really Artists That Are Timeless.

I Am A Bit Of A Gourmet Chef. I Love Cooking Mostly Thai Food. And A Lot Of Times On Movies, You Have These Trailers That Have These Little Ovens And Kitchenettes. A Lot Of Actors Never Use Them, But I Would Cook Lunch Just About Every Day.

I Don't Know About Living On An Automatic Pilot, But I've Had Times Where I've Decided To Just Test Myself And My Mettle, And For No Good Reason Other Than It's What Life Is. Even Before I Was Acting, I Had, Like, One Day In High School I Decided To Just Show Them My Pajamas, Just For No Good Reason.

If You Ain't First, You're Last!

Well, I Could Be Wrong, But I Believe Diversity Is An Old, Old Wooden Ship That Was Used During The Civil War Era.

My Wife And I Always Enjoy Going For A Jog.

In One Of My Songs, In The Song On The "why?" Remix That I Did With Jadakiss In 2004, I Said, "why Is Bush Actin' Like They Tryin' To Get Osama? Why Don't We Impeach Him And Elect Obama?" This Is In 2004 On The "why?" Remix And I Said That Because I Really Had Belief That Obama Was The Right Person To Be President

I'm A Panicked Karaoke Participant Because I Am Always Searching For A Song In The Moment. I Don't Have My Go To Song. I Will Be Driving Along And I Will Be Like, "that Should Be My Karaoke Song!" And Then I Forget What Song It Is.

I Was One Of The Richest Rappers In 2008. But It Was Definitely A Strange Feeling.

I'm A Cotton-headed Ninny Muggins.

Saturday Night Live Is Such A Comedy Boot Camp In A Way, Because You Get To Work With So Many Different People Who Come In To Host The Show And You Get Thrown Into So Many Situations And Learn How To Think On Your Feet, So Filmmaking Actually Feels Slow, In A Good Way.

On The Set Of An Independent Film You Can Tell That Nobody Is Doing It For The Money. Everyone Is There Because They Love The Script. A Smaller Budget Sort Of Unifies Everyone; It's A Real Team Effort And That's Amazing. But These Opportunities Just Don't Present Themselves That Often For Me, So Basically Any Chance I Get To Do Something Different I Jump On It.

You Still Have That Competitive Thing Where You Want To Try To Make Hits. That Won't Go Away, Unless The Mayor Of Show Business Says My Time's Up.

Handling A Painful Situation In A Comedic Way Is Truly The Funniest. That Is Extremely Real To Me And Not Kind Of Clownish. There Is A Thin Line Though; You Can't Overdo It.

I Had Never Supported A Political Figure - And I Went Out And Supported Obama.

Oftentimes, Even As A Little Kid, I Would Get Up Before Anyone Else. My Brother Would Still Be Sleeping, My Mom Would Still Be Sleeping, So I Would Literally Play 'monopoly' By Myself. I Would Play Board Games; I Would Do Things By Myself.

If No-one Comes From The Future To Stop Doing It, Then How Bad Of A Decision Can It Really Be?

I'm Really An Artist Of Feeling. I Like Creating Things When It Feels Right.

Creating Things

Every Time I Do A Partnership With The Corporation, It's Usually - I Mean, It Is - Reflective Of Me And They Really Want Who I Am. They Want What I've Established For My Brand And The Respect And Quality That I've Established.

It's Tough For Me To Get Rid Of Clothes. I Grew Up In A Household With A Limited Budget And We Really Had To Make Our Nice Clothes Last, And So Now I'll Get Free Pairs Of Shoes And This, That And The Other And I'll Be Like, 'oh Great!'; Even Though It Stresses Me Out That I Don't Have Enough Room To Put Them, I Can't Throw Them Away.

What’s The Point Of Being Bad When There’s Nothing Good To Stop You?

You Definitely Feel A Little Exposed, Because Some Of Your Friends Call You Like, "man, I Need That Much."

It's The Fastest Who Get Paid And It's The Fastest Who Get Laid.

In The Fourth Grade, I Learned How To Fake Walking Into A Door. You Know, You Hit It With Your Hand And Snap Your Head Back. The Girls Loved It.

It Doesn't Really Exist, This Frat Pack. We Run Into Each Other On Occasions And We All Like Each Other's Films, I Guess, But There Isn't Some Big Funny Restaurant Or Bar Where We All Hang Out. At Least, If There Is, They Haven't Invited Me.

You Know, When I'm Looking At These '08 Yachts That Are For Sale, I Think "i Could Have Just Walked In With A Briefcase Of Cash And Put It On The Table And Walked Out With A Yacht."

I'm A Selective Pack Rat. There's Some Things I Have No Problem Getting Rid Of And Others I Hold Onto Dearly.

'elf' Has Become This Big Holiday Movie, And I Remember Running Around The Streets Of New York In Tights Saying, 'this Could Be The Last Movie I Ever Make,' And I Could Never Have Predicted That It'd Become Such A Popular Film.

I've Never Had A Yard Sale, Ever, In My Life. I Don't Know If I Ever Thought About Stuff I Would Get Rid Of.

I Have The Physique A Lot Of People Dream About Having. It's My Obligation To Share It With The World.

I Think With The Success Of, Like, Every Summer There Has Been A Couple R-rated Comedies That Have Done So Well; I Think It Is So Nice To See That People Are Turning Out To See These Movies, And It Doesn't Seem To Be As Big A Stigma With The Studios Anymore.

I Think People Don't Understand That Comedy Is An Outlet For Me. Comedy Allows Me To Get Outside Of Myself, And Exercise This Thing That Is Still Kind Of Scary To Me.

I've Always Been Noted For Being Original And Doing Different Thing. So For Me To Hop On The Train That's Going On Would Be - Shoot, If I Wanted To Hop On The Train, I Might As Well Have Hopped On Gangsta Rap Back When It Was Popular And Tried To Do That.

I've Always Wanted To Sail Around The World In A Handmade Boat And I Built A Boat.

There Are A Lot Of Really Funny Guys Who Are Very Natural In What They Do: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen.

Molly Shannon And I Used To Always Talk About That We Really Felt Strongly That We Were Comedic Actors, That We Weren't Comedians. You Just Played Things Real And The Comedy Came Out Of The Context.

I Was So Drunk, I Thought A Tube Of Toothpaste Was Astronaut Food.

You Want Every Movie To Be A Hit. But Every Painting Isn’t A Masterpiece.

I Love Playing The Macho Guy Who Looks Like An Idiot.

I Would Think Beer And Football Go Hand In Hand.

Though I Know Consciousness Kind Of Boxes You In, It Still Encompasses The Artists That I Knew Were Conscious Throughout History Of Music - They're The Ones That You Look At As The Legends.

I Just Had Some Of The Same Journalists That Panned Electric Circus At The Time, They Just Listened To Universal Mind Control And They Loved It. And Then They Went Back To Tell Me That Electric Circus, If It Came Out At Today, It Would've Had A Different Reception. One Of Them Told Me, "hey, Man. You Need To Bring It Out Again." And I Said, "hey, It's Cool. It Is What It Is."

There's Always Going To Be Someone As Funny As You Or Funnier.

Inappropriate Behavior Makes Me Laugh.

Inappropriate Behavior

I Want To Thank Jesus, And By Jesus I Mean Jesus Hernandez, My Bodyguard

Whenever Someone Calls Me Ugly I Get Super Sad And Hug Them, Because I Know How Tough Life Is For The Visually Impaired.

I Guess Destiny Isn't The Path Chosen For Us, But The Path We Chose For Ourselves.

I Don't Even Consider Myself An Impressionist, Really.

The Funny Guy Doesn't Get The Girl Until Later In Life. High School, College, Everyone Still Wants The Brooding, Dangerous Guy You Shouldn't Have.

I Look Good. I Mean, Really Good. Hey Everyone! Come And See How Good I Look!

I Was A Strange Kid In That, While Most Kids Hate School And Want To Turn 18 Or 21, I Loved High School.

When I Was Ten, I Wrote An Essay On What I Would Be When I Grew Up And Said I Would Be A Professional Soccer Player And A Comedian In Off Season.

You Know You Can Be Having A Bad Day And Someone Will Walk By And Say: 'hey, I Love You, Will.' That Really Cheers You Up. That's A Really Lovely Thing.

My Dad Turned Me Onto Peter Sellers As A Kid. I Loved The Fact That He Was A Unique Combination Of Being Extremely Subtle And Over-the-top All At The Same Time, And That's A Hard Thing To Do. I Admire That.

What About Santa's Cookies? I Suppose 'parents' Eat Those, Too?

Since I Was Eight Years Old, I Went To Trinity. I Mean, I Listened To Reverend Wright Since I Was A Kid And I Always Heard Him Preach Sermons Of Love And Inspiration.

You Tend To Get Reluctant To Talk About Anything Until The Day Before Filming.

I Guess Ultimately A Lot Of Comedians Just Wanna Be Taken Seriously.

If You're Flying With Your Children, It's Best To Book Them On The Same Flight And Not On One Where They Have More Legroom And Are Leaving At A Different Time. They Could Get There Earlier Than You, And That Causes Resentment. Two-year-olds Can Also Never Figure Out Those Connecting Flights. It Just Makes It Harder, So Travel As A Family.

I Have Only Been Funny About Seventy Four Per Cent Of The Time. Yes I Think That Is Right. Seventy-four Per Cent Of The Time.

One Of The Challenges You Will Face Is Finding A Job In Our Depressed Economy, ... In Fact, The Chances Of Finding A Job Are About As Good As Finding Weapons Of Mass Destruction In The Iraqi Desert -- Slim And None, And Slim Just Left The Building.

Mass Destruction

Why Not Work With Your Friends? It's Working With People You Know, And You Share The Same Sensibility.

I'm A Really Good Swimmer.

Anyone Who Does Anything Creative Is Always Gonna Want To Change.

Aren't We All Striving To Be Overpaid For What We Do?

Happens I Am Very Political. I Have Deep Political Instincts.

A Fashion Plate, A Rock Star In His Own Mind, Megamind Is More Showman Than Deadly Menace.

A Lot Of People Have Gotten Into Comedy Because Of Certain Influences In Their Lives Or Events That Were Painful, And I Really Have Wracked My Brain To Figure It Out. I Pretty Much Have Had A Normal Childhood. Maybe It Was Too Normal.

I Think 'snl' Was Such A Unique Thing Because It Was Material You Created And You're Very Comfortable With It, Even Though The Setting Was Pressure-packed.

You Have To Listen A Lot, And You Have To Be Open And Ready To Adjust To Anything. It Kind Of Provides A Framework That You Use All The Time. You Never Really Shut Off That Part Of Your Brain When You're Doing Something. It's Invaluable To Have.

When I First Started Doing Sketch Comedy, I Promised Myself That If I Were Ever To Have Any Success In This Business, I Wouldn't Hold Back. Why Get There And Play It Safe?

I Always Just Forced Myself To Do Crazy Things In Public. In College I Would Push An Overhead Projector Across Campus With My Pants Just Low Enough To Show My Butt. Then My Friend Would Incite The Crowd To Be Like, 'look At That Idiot!' That's How I Got Over Being Shy.

Enjoy The Little Fun Things - Like Taking Your Kids To School - Before They're All Grown Up.

It's Nice To Be In A Place Where I Can Be A Little More Selective, And To Be Sought Out For Ideas That I Have.

Some Artists Are Definitely Trying To Do Different Styles. Some, Not A Lot. But Even From What You've Seen [of] Outkast, Kanye West, And Lil' Wayne, And Different People Expressing Their Way Of Evolving In Hip-hop. In The Evolution Of Hip-hop, They're Doing Different Things. And You've Seen Hip-hop Have More Of A Global Presence And Impact On The World.

When You're Doing An Out-and-out Comedy, The Notion Of Preparing For A Character - I Hope I Don't Reveal Too Much Of Myself Here - But, Uh, No, I'm Not Doing Anything.

Black, White, Yellow, Brown - We Wanted Somebody Who Would Do Right By Us. And I Think Because Obama Was That Person, Whether He Was Black Or White, He Was Chosen

I Put My Pants On Just Like The Rest Of You - One Leg At A Time. Except, Once My Pants Are On, I Make Gold Records.

I've Always Wanted To Sail Around The World In A Handmade Boat. And I Built A Boat. I Had A Boat Built For Me, I Mean, And My Second Day Out To Sea I Realized That (a) I'm Not A Sailor, And (b) I Have No Knowledge Of Basic Navigation.

I Think Anyone Who Has, You Know, Is In Any Sort Of Artistic Pursuit, Kind Of Goes Up And Down With The Way They Feel About Their Work. And I, For The Most Part, Am Pretty Happy Person. But, Yeah. I Go Through Definite Periods Of Time Where I'm Not Funny. I'm Not Good. I'm - I Don't Feel Original.

As You Set Off Into The World, Don't Be Afraid To Question Your Leaders. But Don't Ask Too Many Questions At One Time Or That Are Too Hard Because Your Leaders Get Tired And/or Cranky.

Funny Graduation

No Matter How Much You Screw Up Your Life, You Can Fix It.

I Was Listening To Jimi Hendrix And Pink Floyd, Because That Was New Music For Me. I Really Hadn't Been Up On Them. I Mean, I'd Heard Of Them, But I Wasn't Up On Their Music. And I Kept Listening To Radiohead, And I Was Like, Man, I Want To Make Hip-hop That Feels Like Radiohead. I Want To Make Hip-hop That Can Use Guitars And Soul And Jazz And Just Fuse It All Together.

I Don't Really Have Aspirations To Be Tom Hanks.

By The Time I Was Ready For College, I Didn't Know What I Wanted To Do. I Think I Secretly Wanted A Show Business Career, But I Was Suppressing It.

I Built A Jail In My Closet And I Would Incarcerate My Family From Time To Time.

Personal Philosophy: Clothing Optional

Personal Philosophy

Sleep Is So Cute When It Tries To Compete With The Internet.

I Live By 'earnin' And Burnin'.' Meaning, I Like To Make Money And Spend It Before I Even Have It. That's The Way I Live My Life.

I Think It Just Came With Me Evolving As A Person And Me Understanding That It's Not Right To Judge Or To Say Anything Derogatory About Other People, Especially If I Don't Know Them.

One Of My First Memories Of Being A Kid Was, 'i Want To Have A Real Job When I Grow Up.' And To Me That Meant You Wear A Suit And A Hat And Carry A Briefcase And Go To Your Job.

There’s A Benefit To Losing, You Get To Learn From Your Mistakes.

I Laugh Like A Fool When I Watch A Movie That I've Done Several Years Down The Road When It's On Cable, I'll Just Watch And Sadly Laugh Along.

I Remember Going With My Mom To A Random Garage Sale As A Kid And Thinking What A Cool Treasure Hunt That Whole World Was. Only To Transition As An Adult To Think, 'what A Gross Place That Really Is.'

I'm Able To Come And Do A New Sound And Grow Even More And Make Greater Songs Because My Song-making Abilities Have Grown.

Grief Is Nature’s Most Powerful Aphrodisiac.

Often Times I'm Confronted With A Quote That I Don't Remember Saying. So, On One Hand It's Very Flattering, It Is Just So Surreal.

I'm In A Glass Case Of Emotion

When You Look At Someone Like Sacha Baron Cohen, You Have To Really Respect The Boundaries He Is Pushing As Bruno Or Borat.

I Know The Nature Of Comedy, And You Never Know What Will Happen With The Next Movie Or Whether People Will Find It Funny.

I Think Politics Have Gotten Vulgar And We Comedically Portray That.

I Want To Make Hip-hop That Can Use Guitars And Soul And Jazz And Just Fuse It All Together. And I Want To Make This Whole New Sound That's Going To Shock The World. Unfortunately, The Masses Didn't Receive It.

The Best Way To Spread Christmas Cheer Is Singing Loud For All To Hear!

I'm A Cancer; I'm Music Passionate. I Like Long Walks On The Beach.

I Would Love To Play Simon Cowell In A Movie - Heck, I Would Love It. It Would Be My Dream Role.

I've Never Been A Conceited Person Or Cocky, Never Felt Boastful, But I Always Had A Sense Of Self-worth; I Always Had A Real Sense Of Myself.

I Would Love To Work With Bill Murray. I've Always Been Such A Big Fan. I Think He's Obviously A Great Comedic Actor But A Really Interesting Actor.

I Left 'saturday Night Live' Without A Film To Go To, And I'd Filmed 'old School' While I Was In My Last Season Of The Show, And That Hadn't Come Out Yet. I Was A Free Agent, In A Way, But I Knew It Was Time To Leave The Show And Test The Water.

When I Was A Kid, 'land Of The Lost' Was My Favorite Show, Just Because It Was - In The Landscape Of Saturday Morning Cartoons - It Was So Unique. It Was A Live-action Show And Kids Were In It, These Creatures, These Sleestaks And Dinosaurs. Every Week Was A Different Adventure. I Couldn't Wait. I Loved It So Much.

I’m Just A Big, Hairy, American Winning Machine!

It's Very Easy For Me To Play Silly, But To Reveal Something Closer To You, That's So Much Harder.

Members Of The Senate And House, If They Want To Send Troops Into War, Should Be Forced To Send A Family Member. That Would Really Make Everyone Stop And Go, 'ohhh-kaaay.'

I've Not Been Able To Avoid Periods Of Time Where I Felt Super-lonely. Luckily, I Have A Side That Is Able To Always See The Glass As Half-full.

I'm A Sex Addict. It's My Cross To Bear. It's A Real Disease With Doctors And Medicine And Everything!

I Was Never A Class Clown Or Anything Like That, But I Do Remember Being In The First Grade And My Teacher, Mr. Chad, Told The Class One Day That We Were Going To Do Some Exercises. He Meant Math Exercises, But I Stood Up And Started Doing Jumping Jacks. To This Day, I Don't Know What Possessed Me To Do That, But All My Friends Cracked Up.

It Would Be Great To Be Able To Follow In The Footsteps Of Bill Murray. I Really Respect His Ability As A Comedian, Obviously, But Even More So As An Actor.

All You Have In Comedy, In General, Is Just Going With Your Instincts. You Can Only Hope That Other People Think That What You Think Is Funny Is Funny. I Don't Have An Answer But I Just Try To Plough Straight Ahead.

No Matter How Much You Screw Up Your Own Life By The Wrong Decisions That You Make, It's Never Too Late To Do The Right Thing And Change Your Ways And You Can Teach Old Dogs New Tricks.

Facebook: What's On Your Mind? ..twitter: What's Happening? Myspace: Where Did Everybody Go?

Once A Person Has A Child, The First Question Everyone Asks Is: "are You Going To Have More Children?" But It Basically Means: "are You Going To Have More Sex With Your Wife In The Hopes Of Having Children?

I Never Put Too Much Pressure On Myself When I'm The Central Thing, Just Because I Don't Think I Could Handle It Mentally. I Haven't Really Thought About The Implications Of Carrying A Movie. It Still Has To Be Just A Fun, Weird Thing.

I Just Kind Of Have A Comedic Looking Body, I Guess. If Anything I Really Have To Exercise Just To Not Look Too Fudgy, Otherwise I Would Just Keep Going And Going.

A Lot Of The Times You Read Something And You Don't Realize That You Are Going To Have To Do The Things That You Read.

If You Set Up An Environment Where Failing Is Encouraged Then You Want To Try Everything. It's Obviously The Best Way To Work.

I Think My New Iphone 5s Is Broken. I Pressed The Home Button And I'm Still At Work

I've Always Loved Watching The News On Tv. As A Kid, I Loved Watching Walter Cronkite, For Some Reason.

I Grew Up In An Entertainment Family, And So I Saw How Susceptible You Are To The Ups And Downs Of This Business.

Everyone I Know Who Skis Is Dead.

I'm Always In These Situations Where I Forget To Separate What Is Pitched As An Idea To The Fact That I'm Actually Going To Have To Execute It.

I've Got No Dark Secrets, I Wasn't Beaten Up, My Parents Were Kind To Me And There Was A Low Crime Rate Where We Lived. Maybe That's Where The Comedy Comes From, As Some Sort Of Reaction To The Safe, Boring Suburbs.

But For Fatherhood Advice, Try To Look Your Child In The Eye.... Get To Know Their Name; That Becomes Important When You Want Something. And Remember To Feed Them. That's About All You Need.

There's Nothing Sexy About Orange County.

I Hate When New Parents Ask Who The Baby Looks Like. It Was Born 15 Minutes Ago, It Looks Like A Potato

I Left Home To Go To College, And Then I Moved Back Home. I Moved Back For Three Years From 21 To 24.

I'm A Progressive. Much In The Same Way Our Founding Fathers - Who, Oddly Enough, Wouldn't Get Elected Today - Were Progressives.

James Caan Told Me At The End Of Filming 'elf' That He Had Been Waiting Through The Whole Film For Me To Be Funny - And I Never Was.

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