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Off With You" Is A Phrase Used By People Who Lack The Curtesy To Say Something More Polite, Such As, "if There's Nothing Else You Require I Must Be Going" Or "i'm Sorry But I'm Going To Have To Ask You To Leave, Please" Or Even "excuse Me But I Believe You Have Mistaken My Home For Your Own And My Valuable Belongings For Yours And I Must Ask You To Return The Items In Question To Me And Leave My Home After Untying Me From This Chair, As I'm Unable To Do It Myself, If It's Not Too Much Trouble.

-Daniel Handler

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Off With You" Is

Daniel Handler

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Off With You" Is A Phrase Used By People Who Lack The Curtesy To Say Something More Polite, Such As, "if There's Nothing Else You Require I Must Be Going" Or "i'm Sorry But I'm Going To Have To Ask You To Leave, Please" Or Even "excuse Me But I Believe You Have Mistaken My Home For Your Own And My Valuable Belongings For Yours And I Must Ask You To Return The Items In Question To Me And Leave My Home After Untying Me From This Chair, As I'm Unable To Do It Myself, If It's Not Too Much Trouble.

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If You Wish To Avoid An Unpleasant Story You Had Best Put This Book Down

It Is Always Terrible To Be Told To Go Play With People One Doesn't Know.

Waiting Is One Of Life’s Hardships.

It Is Likely I Will Die Next To A Pile Of Things I Was Meaning To Read.

Anyone Who Gives You A Cinnamon Roll Fresh Out Of The Oven Is A Friend For Life.

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In Times Of Extreme Stress, One Can Often Find Energy Hidden In Even The Most Exhausted Areas Of The Body.

Is It Useful To Feel Fear, Because It Prepares You For Nasty Events, Or Is It Useless, Because Nasty Events Will Occur Whether You Are Frightened Or Not?

Everyone On Earth Would Never Starve And Forever Find Love And Happiness, Since We Won, But If We’d Lost, They Would Have Gouged Out Our Eyes And Thrown Us Naked Onto Hot Coals And Poisonous Snakes For All The Cheering And Hugging At The End, Strangers Hugging Like The End Of The Omega Virus When Steve Sturmine Finds The Antidote.

But The Law Is An Odd Thing. For Instance, One Country In Europe Has A Law That Requires All Its Bakers To Sell Bread At The Exact Same Price. A Certain Island Has A Law That Forbids Anyone From Removing Its Fruit. And A Town Not Too Far From Where You Live Has A Law That Bars Me From Coming Within Five Miles Of Its Borders.

I'm Always Interested To See What Films Are Made Of Books. I Kind Of Don't Participate As A Filmgoer In Any Kind Of Debate About What's Better, The Book Or The Movie. So I Think It's Interesting When People Want To Do It.

I Love No One But You, I Have Discovered, But You Are Far Away And I Am Here Alone. Then This Is My Life And Maybe, However Unlikely, I'll Find My Way Back There. Or Maybe, One Day, I'll Settle For Second Best. And On That Same Day, Hell Will Freeze Over, The Sun Will Burn Out And The Stars Will Fall From The Sky.

Once More, This Is Love: It Rings And You Open Up Unless It Looks Like An Ax Murderer.

Nobody Wants To Fall Into A Safety Net, Because It Means The Structure In Which They've Been Living Is In A State Of Collapse And They Have No Choice But To Tumble Downwards. However, It Beats The Alternative.

The Violins Waltzed. The Cellos And Basses Provided Accompaniment. The Violas Mourned Their Fate, While The Concertmaster Showed Off. The Flutes Did Bird Imitations…repeatedly, And The Reed Instruments Had The Good Taste To Admire My Jacket. The Trumpets Held A Parade In Honor Of Our Great Nation, While The French Horns Waxed Nostalgic About Something Or Other. The Trombones Had Too Much To Drink. The Percussion Beat The Band, And The Tuba Stayed Home Playing Cards With His Landlady, The Harp, Taking Sips Of Warm Milk A Blue Little Cup. “but The Composer Is Still Dead.

One Of The Remarkable Things About Love Is That, Despite Very Irritating People Writing Poems And Songs About How Pleasant It Is, It Really Is Quite Pleasant.

You Know I Want To Be A Director, But You Could Never Truly See The Movies In My Head And That, Ed, Is Why We Broke Up.

You Should Never Stick Something That You Are Allergic To Into Your Mouth, Especially If That Thing Is Cats.

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I'd Written My First Novel For Adults, Which Was Called Basic Eight And Was Set In A High School, And We Were Having A Devil Of A Time Selling It. It Ended Up In The Hands Of An Editor Of A Children's Publishing House, For Which It Was Entirely Inappropriate. She Said, "well, We Can't Publish This, But I Think You Should Write Something For Children," Which I Thought Was A Really Terrible Idea.

The Burning Of A Book Is A Sad, Sad Sight, For Even Though A Book Is Nothing But Ink And Paper, It Feels As If The Ideas Contained In The Book Are Disappearing As The Pages Turn To Ashes And The Cover And Binding--which Is The Term For The Stitching And Glue That Holds The Pages Together--blacken And Curl As The Flames Do Their Wicked Work. When Someone Is Burning A Book, They Are Showing Utter Contempt For All Of The Thinking That Produced Its Ideas, All Of The Labor That Went Into Its Words And Sentences, And All Of The Trouble That Befell The Author . . .

It Is Very Unnerving To Be Proven Wrong, Particularly When You Are Really Right And The Person Who Is Really Wrong Is Proving You Wrong And Proving Himself, Wrongly, Right.

For Beatrice, When We First Met, I Was Lonely, And You Were Pretty. Now I Am Pretty Lonely.

Hal Is On His Way." The Nurse Announced Reentering The Room.

I Was Too Jitterbuggy Happy To Sleep, And The Whole Day Kept Playing In My Brain's Little Screening Room.

You Might Be Afraid Of The Dark, But The Dark Is Not Afraid Of You. That’s Why The Dark Is Always Close By.

After A Certain Age, You Couldn't Even Say Where You Were From. You Went Someplace, And Lived There. And Then You Went Someplace Else.

What Happens In A Certain Place Can Stain Your Feelings For That Location, Just As Ink Can Stain A White Sheet.

Why Not Rise From The Grave And Terrorize A Little Instead Of Staying Buried And Dead In The Cemetery?

If You Have Ever Had A Miserable Experience, Then You Have Probably Had It Said To You That You Would Feel Better In The Morning. This, Of Course, Is Utter Nonsense, Because A Miserable Experience Remains A Miserable Experience Even On The Loveliest Of Morning.

Criminals Should Be Punished, Not Fed Pastries.

I Love No One But You, I Have Discovered, But You Are Far Away And I Am Here Alone.

Long Distance Relationship

The Worst Surroundings In The World Can Be Tolerated If The People In Them Are Interesting And Kind.

Siblings That Say They Never Fight Are Most Definitely Hiding Something

Hiding Something

Just About Everybody Has Written A First Novel That They Throw Away Before Writing Their Actual First Novel.

We All Know Of Course, That We Should Never Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Fiddle Around In Any Way With Electrical Equipment. Never.

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It Was Darker Than A Pitch-black Panther, Covered In Tar, Eating Black Licorice At The Very Bottom Of The Deepest Part Of The Black Sea.

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The Hallway Was Lined With Numbered Doors, Odd Numbers On One Side And Even Numbers On The Other, And Large Ornamental Vases, Too Large To Hold Flowers And Too Small To Hold Spies.

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This Is Love If It's Not With You, A Terrible Fiery Something That Makes People Look Away, And It Feels Like A Punch In The Throat.

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It Doesn't Take Courage To Kill Someone,' Klaus Said. 'it Takes A Severe Lack Of Moral Stamina.

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...everyone Was Right About You- Prove Them Wrong.

Prove Them Wrong

Anyone Who Thinks The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword Has Not Been Stabbed With Both.

It Is Always Sad When Someone Leaves Home, Unless They Are Simply Going Around The Corner And Will Return In A Few Minutes With Ice-cream Sandwiches.

But The Three Siblings Were Not Born Yesterday. Violet Was Born More Than Fifteen Years Before This Particular Wednesday, And Klaus Was Born Approximately Two Years After That, And Even Sunny, Who Had Just Passed Out Of Babyhood, Was Not Born Yesterday. Neither Were You, Unless Of Course I Am Wrong, In Which Case Welcome To The World, Little Baby, And Congratulations On Learning To Read So Early In Life.

Congratulations

They Were Almond Cookies, Although They Could Have Been Made Of Spinach And Shoes For All I Cared. I Ate Eleven Of Them, Right In A Row. It Is Rude To Take The Last Cookie.

Occasionally There Are Parents Who Say, "i Brought My Child So He Or She Could Learn What The Career Of A Writer Is Like, And You Did This Long Theatrical Performance Instead, And I'm Very Disappointed."

Normally It Is Not Polite To Go Into Somebody’s Room Without Knocking, But You Can Make An Exception If The Person Is Dead, Or Pretending To Be Dead.

All Cannot Be Lost When There Is Still So Much Being Found

They Say That When You’re Really In Love, The World Becomes Gossamer And Gorgeous, But In My Experience The World Gets Grimy, And The Love Object Is In Stark Relief From The Surroundings. This Is Love, A Pretty Thing On An Ugly Street.

Miracles Are Like Pimples, Because Once You Start Looking For Them You Find More Than You Ever Dreamed You'd See.

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I’m Not A Cuckoo, Either. I’m A Fool Is What.

Just About Everything In This World Is Easier Said Than Done, With The Exception Of 'systematically Assisting Sisyphus's Stealthy, Syst-susceptible Sister,' Which Is Easier Done Than Said.

Strange As It May Seem, I Still Hope For The Best, Even Though The Best, Like An Interesting Piece Of Mail, So Rarely Arrives, And Even When It Does It Can Be Lost So Easily.

Everyone, At Some Point In Their Lives, Wakes Up In The Middle Of The Night With The Feeling That They Are All Alone In The World, And That Nobody Loves Them Now And That Nobody Will Ever Love Them, And That They Will Never Have A Decent Night's Sleep Again And Will Spend Their Lives Wandering Blearily Around A Loveless Landscape, Hoping Desperately That Their Circumstances Will Improve, But Suspecting, In Their Heart Of Hearts, That They Will Remain Unloved Forever. The Best Thing To Do In These Circumstances Is To Wake Somebody Else Up, So That They Can Feel This Way, Too.

Historically, A Story About People Inside Impressive Buildings Ignoring Or Even Taunting People Standing Outside Shouting At Them Turns Out To Be A Story With An Unhappy Ending.

I Find Reading Screenplays Difficult, As They're Only A Roadmap For What A Movie Might End Up Being.

I Know What Is Going On," Said Sir. "i Am The Boss! Of Course I Know!

If You Are Interested In Happy Endings, You Would Be Better Off Reading Some Other Book. In This Book, Not Only Is There No Happy Ending, There Is No Happy Beginning And Very Few Happy Things In The Middle. This Is Because Not Very Many Happy Things Happened In The Lives Of The Three Baudelaire Youngsters.

Grief, A Type Of Sadness That Most Often Occurs When You Have Lost Someone You Love, Is A Sneaky Thing, Because It Can Disappear For A Long Time, And Then Pop Back Up When You Least Expect It.

This Is My Knife. It Is Very Sharp And Very Eager To Hurt You.

I Will Love You As The Iceberg Loves The Ship, And The Passengers Love The Lifeboat And The Lifeboat Loves The Teeth Of The Sperm Whale, And The Sperm Whale Loves The Flavor Of Naval Uniforms.

Every Night I Give A Violin Recital For Six Hours, And Attendance Is Mandatory. The Word 'mandatory' Means That If You Don't Show Up, You Have To Buy Me A Large Bag Of Candy And Watch Me Eat It.

Shyness Is A Curious Thing, Because, Like Quicksand, It Can Strike People At Any Time, And Also, Like Quicksand, It Usually Makes Its Victims Look Down.

This Is Love, And The Trouble With It: It Can Make You Embarrassed. Love Is Really Liking Someone A Whole Lot And Not Wanting To Screw That Up. Everybody's Chewed Over This. This Unites Us, This Part Of Love.

Undeveloped, The Whole Thing,tossed Into A Box Before We Really Had A Chance To Know What We Had, And That's Why We Broke Up.

Get Out Of My Way, You Cakesniffers!” Said A Rude, Violent, And Filthy Little Girl, Shoving The Baudelaire Orphans Aside As She Dashed By.

When Trouble Strikes, Head To The Library. You Will Either Be Able To Solve The Problem, Or Simply Have Something To Read As The World Crashes Down Around You.

The Thing You Hope Will Never Happen To You Might Just Happen To Someone Else Instead, Who Has Been Spending Their Life Dreading The Thing That Will Happen To You.

I'm Not A Believer In Predetermined Fates, Being Rewarded For One's Efforts. I'm Not A Believer In Karma. The Reason Why I Try To Be A Good Person Is Because I Think It's The Right Thing To Do. If I Commit Fewer Bad Acts There Will Be Fewer Bad Acts, Maybe Other People Will Join In Committing Fewer Bad Acts, And In Time There Will Be Fewer And Fewer Of Them.

If He’s Not Gay And He Hung Out With You The Whole Time, He Wanted To Be. It’s Boyfriend Or Want To Be Boyfriend Or I Guess Gay. Those Are The Choices.

Complimenting Someone In An Exaggerated Way Is Known As Flattery, And Flattery Will Generally Get You Anything You Want.

The Holiday Season Is A Time For Storytelling, And Whether You Are Hearing The Story Of A Candelabra Staying Lit For More Than A Week, Or A Baby Born In A Barn Without Proper Medical Supervision, These Stories Often Feature Miracles. Miracles Are Like Pimples, Because Once You Start Looking For Them You Find More Than You Ever Dreamed You'd See, And This Holiday Story Features Any Number Of Miracles, Depending On Your Point Of View.

I Don’t Smoke, Although It Looks Fantastic In Films. But I Light Matches On Those Thinking Blank Nights When I Crawl My Route Out Onto The Roof Of The Garage And The Sky While My Parents Sleep Innocent And The Lonely Cars Move Sparse On The Faraway Streets, When The Pillow Won’t Stay Cool And The Blankets Bother My Body No Matter How I Move Or Lie Still. I Just Sit With My Legs Dangling And Light Matches And Watch Them Flicker Away.

Tears Are Curious Things, For Like Earthquakes Or Puppet Shows, They Can Occur At Any Time, Without Any Warning And Without Any Good Reason.

Wherever It's Good, Whatever Strange, Faraway Land, Let's Go There, Let's Stay In That Place Alone.

It Is A Curious Thing, The Death Of A Loved One. We All Know That Our Time In This World Is Limited, And That Eventually All Of Us Will End Up Underneath Some Sheet, Never To Wake Up. And Yet It Is Always A Surprise When It Happens To Someone We Know. It Is Like Walking Up The Stairs To Your Bedroom In The Dark, And Thinking There Is One More Stair Than There Is. Your Foot Falls Down, Through The Air, And There Is A Sickly Moment Of Dark Surprise As You Try And Readjust The Way You Thought Of Things.

The World Is Quiet Here.

People Don't Always Get What They Deserve In This World.

Of Course I'm Trying To Trick You! That's The Way Of The World, Baudelaires. Everyone Runs Around With Their Secrets And Their Schemes, Trying To Outwit Everyone Else.

The Sad Truth Is The Truth Is Sad.

Series Of Unfortunate Events

When You Say, "history Is Written By The Winners," You Like To Think About Someone Who Isn't You. You Want To Think, "oh, That's The Juggernaut I'm Standing Against." But You're Probably Part Of It.

Nowhere In The World Is Safe," Count Olaf Said. Not With You Around," Violet Agreed. I'm No Worse Than Anyone Else," Count Olaf Said.

Just Because You Don't Understand It Doesn't Mean It Isn't So.

Either You Have The Feeling Or You Don't. Hawk Davies

The Story Of The Baudelaires Takes Place In A Very Real World, Where Some People Are Laughed At Just Because They Have Something Wrong With Them, And Where Children Can Find Themselves All Alone In The World, Struggling To Understand The Mystery That Surrounds Them.

Like A Church Bell, A Coffin, And A Vat Of Melted Chocolate, A Supply Closet Is Rarely A Comfortable Place To Hide.

There Are Some People Who Believe That Home Is Where One Hangs One's Hat, But These People Tend To Live In Closets And On Little Pegs.

The Difference Between A House And A Home Is Like The Difference Between A Man And A Woman-- It Might Be Embarrassing To Explain, But It Would Be Very Unusual To Get Them Confused.

A New Experience Can Be Extremely Pleasurable, Or Extremely Irritating, Or Somewhere In Between, And You Never Know Until You Try It Out.

New Experiences

What You Don't Read Is Often As Important As What You Do Read.

The Rinsed Foam Swirled Into One Drain That Always Clogged Come October When The Maples Dropped Canadian Propaganda Over Everything.

We Need Things, And The Opposite Of Them, And We Are So Rarely Completely Comfortable.

So You’re Reluctant, I Said To Myself. Many, Many People Are Reluctant. It’s Like Having Feet. It’s Nothing To Brag About.

It Is Very Frustrating Not To Be Understood In This World. If You Say One Thing And Keep Being Told That You Mean Something Else, It Can Make You Want To Scream. But Somewhere In The World There Is A Place For All Of Us, Whether You Are An Electric Form Of Decoration, Peppermint-scented Sweet, A Source Of Timber, Or A Potato Pancake.

A Successful Villain Should Have All These Things At His Or Her Villainous Fingertips, Or Else Give Up Villainy Altogether And Try To Lead A Life Of Decency, Integrity, And Kindness, Which Is Much More Challenging And Noble, If Not Always Quite As Exciting.

It Is Almost As If Happiness Is An Acquired Taste, Like Coconut Cordial Or Ceviche, To Which You Can Eventually Become Accustomed, But Despair Is Something Surprising Each Time You Encounter It.

There Is No Easy Way To Train An Apprentice. My Two Tools Are Example And Nagging.

Stealing, Of Course, Is A Crime, And A Very Impolite Thing To Do. But Like Most Impolite Things, It Is Excusable Under Certain Circumstances. Stealing Is Not Excusable If, For Instance, You Are In A Museum And You Decide That A Certain Painting Would Look Better In Your House, And You Simply Grab The Painting And Take It There. But If You Were Very, Very Hungry, And You Had No Way Of Obtaining Money, It Would Be Excusable To Grab The Painting, Take It To Your House, And Eat It.

I'd Made Pretty Clear To The People At Paramount And Dreamworks That, If They Wanted Lemony Snicket To Comment, He Would Be Completely Horrified By The Entire Film. And As Long As They Understood That, It Was Okay. I'm Not Much Of A Fan Of Dvd Commentaries Myself, So This Was My Way Of Getting Revenge, In A Sense, For All The Puffed-up Directors And Stars Who Talk Endlessly About The Self-aggrandizing Minutiae Of Making A Movie.

With The Publishing Of The Basic Eight, It Was Often Assumed That I Was Really Immature And Callow, And With The Publishing Of Watch Your Mouth, It Was Assumed That I Was Oversexualized, And With Lemony Snicket, It's Often Assumed That I'm Erudite And Depressed. But All The Voices More Or Less Came Naturally To Me.

They're Book Addicts.

I Never Thought About Whether Film Is Inherently More Sincere, Because Certainly I Think If Guy Maddin Had Directed A Series Of Unfortunate Events, There Probably Could Have Been More Of The Stage-y Irony That Is In The Books. But I Was Just Interested To See What People Would Do With It, And Worrying That Brad Silberling Wouldn't Do What I Had In Mind.

He Looked Like The Sort Of Person Who Would Tell You That He Did Not Have An Umbrella To Lend You When He Actually Had Several And Simply Wanted To See You Get Soaked.

The Real Santa Claus Is At The Mall.

...you Know That A Good, Long Session Of Weeping Can Often Make You Feel Better, Even If Your Circumstances Have Not Changed One Bit.

Besides Getting Several Paper Cuts In The Same Day Or Receiving The News That Someone In Your Family Has Betrayed You To Your Enemies, One Of The Most Unpleasant Experiences In Life Is A Job Interview.

If I Were To Say, "yes, I Am A Fascinating, Erudite Person," What Would That Say About Me? I Don't Know.

Put Your Hair Up, Min. The Secret Ingredient Is Not Your Hair.

You May Be Right,' She Said, A Phrase Which Here Meant 'i’m Wrong, But I Don’t Have The Courage To Say So.

And When Love Is Over When The Diner Of Love Seems Closed From The Outside You Want All Those Hours Back Along With Anything You Left At The Lover’s House And Maybe A Couple Of Things Which Aren’t Technically Yours On The Grounds That You Wasted A Portion Of Your Life And Those Hours Have All Gone Southside.

It Turns Out She Is Canadian, My Editor, And So She Drinks Like A Fish. So She Wasn't A Lightweight At All. And In The Morning, She Said That The Idea Still Seemed Like A Good One, And Here We Are.

If We Wait Until We're Ready, We'll Be Waiting For The Rest Of Our Lives.

Chestnuts In Stuffing Tastes Like Someone Chewed Up A Tree Branch And Then French-kissed It Into Your Mouth.

I Do Think Of Emotions As Being On A Circular Path, So You Can Feel Terrible And Terrible And Terrible, And Then All Of A Sudden It Becomes Quite Funny.

It Is Very Easy To Say That The Important Thing Is To Try Your Best, But If You Are In Real Trouble The Most Important Thing Is Not Trying Your Best, But Getting To Safety.

Labor Day Is A Holiday Honoring Those Who Work For A Living. Laborious Day Is A Lesser Known Holiday Honoring Those Who Cannot Stop Talking About Their Work.

Writing Is A Dying Form. One Reads Of This Every Day.

I Do What I Do," I Said, "in Order To Do Something Else.

I Hadn't Even Been Looking, Not For You, And Now You Were My Heart's Desire.

Assumptions Are Dangerous Things To Make, And Like All Dangerous Things To Make - Bombs, For Instance, Or Strawberry Shortcake - If You Make Even The Tiniest Mistake You Can Find Yourself In Terrible Trouble.

Finding Yourself

I Don't Know Why Wicked Places Generally Look Wicked. You'd Think They'd Look Nice, To Fool People, But They Hardly Ever Do.

I Write Storys To Entertain Not To Be The Best

Life Never End When You Are In It.

Adverbs Is A Book About Love, And I Thought That Was Pretty Cheerful, But People Who Are Reading It Now Are Telling Me That It's Actually Quite Dark.

Having An Aura Of Menace Is Like Having A Pet Weasel, Because You Rarely Meet Someone Who Has One, And When You Do, It Makes You Want To Hide Under The Coffee Table.

Hello, Freaky Peoples!

Blinded Following The Blindfolded

The Last Safe Place Is Safe No More.

Unless You Have Been Very, Very Lucky, You Have Undoubtedly Experienced Events In Your Life That Have Made You Cry. So Unless You Have Been Very, Very Lucky, You Know That A Good, Long Session Of Weeping Can Often Make You Feel Better, Even If Your Circumstances Have Not Changed One Bit.

One Cannot Spend Forever Sitting And Solving The Mysteries Of Oone's History.

It Is Often Said That Reading Is A Gift, But To My Mind That Is An Insufficient Description, For The Size Of The Gift Of Reading Is So Vast That It Is Difficult To See What Is Outside Its Wrapping.

Troublesome Things Tend To Remain Troublesome No Matter How Many Times You Do Them.

Sometimes, Even The Best Of Plans Will Occur To You When It Is Too Late.

Tea Should Be As Bitter As Wormwod And As Sharp As A Two Eged Sword Kit Snicket (a Series Of Unfortunate Events)

One Wanders Through Life As If Wandering Through A Field In The Dark Of Night, Wearing A Blindfold And Very Heavy Shoes, With A Poisonous Toad Waiting Patiently Beneath A Clump Of Weeds, Knowing Full Well That Eventually You Will Step On Him.

It Is My Fate That Some Of My Questions Will Never Be Answered.

One Of The Most Difficult Things To Think About In Life Is One’s Regrets. Something Will Happen To You, And You Will Do The Wrong Thing, And For Years Afterward You Will Wish You Had Done Something Different.

They Say Love's Like A Bus, And If You Wait Long Enough Another One Will Come Along, But Not In This Place Where The Buses Are Slow And Most Of The Cute Ones Are Gay.

It Seemed To Me That Every Adult Did Something Terrible Sooner Or Later. And Every Child, I Thought, Sooner Or Later Becomes An Adult.

It Is Difficult, When Faced With A Situation You Cannot Control, To Admit You Can Do Nothing.

The Long Goodbye' Is One Book I Like To Read Over And Over Again, And It Was An Enormous Inspiration For 'all The Wrong Questions'.

How Do You Do?" Said Violet. "how Do You Do?" Said Klaus. "odo Yow!" Said Sunny.

Fate Is Like A Strange, Unpopular Restaurant Filled With Odd Little Waiters Who Bring You Things You Never Asked For And Don't Always Like.

This Is An Absurd Moral, For You And I Both Know That Sometimes Not Only Is It Good To Lie, It Is Necessary To Lie.

Temper Tantrums, However Fun They May Be To Throw, Rarely Solve Whatever Problem Is Causing Them.

It's Different," You Said. "you've Made, Min, Everything Different For Me. Everything's Like Coffee You Made Me Try, Better Than I Ever - Or The Places I Didn't Even Know Were Right On The Street, You Know? I'm Like This Thing I Saw When I Was Little, Where A Kid Hears A Noise Under His Bed And There's A Ladder There That's Never Been There Before, And He Climbs Down And, It's For Kids I Know, But This Song Starts Playing..." Your Eyes Were Traveling In The Treey Light.

...in Life It Is Often The Tiny Details That End Up Being The Most Important.

I Decided That It Might Be Interesting To Have Terrible Things Happen To Orphans Over And Over Again.

You Can't Believe Everything You Read.

There Are Some Things We Might Not Know,but That Doesnt Mean We Should Give Up.we Can Find Out What We Need To Know.we Can Find Out Everything

Numbersign Questionmark You" And "asterisk Exclamation Point The World.

Exclamation Points

I’d Ruin Any Day, All My Days, For Those Long Nights With You, And I Did.

If You Like Books With Happy Endings Then Put This Book Down Immediately.

If You Try To Avoid Every Instance Of Peer Pressure You Will End Up Without Any Peers Whatsoever, And The Trick Is To Succumb To Enough Pressure That You Do Not Drive Your Peers Away, But Not So Much That You End Up In A Situation In Which You Are Dead Or Otherwise Uncomfortable. This Is A Difficult Trick, And Most People Never Master It, And End Up Dead Or Uncomfortable At Least Once During Their Lives.

Dead Women Tell No Tales. Sad Men Write Them Down.

It Is Not Very Polite To Interrupt A Person, Of Course, But Sometimes If The Person Is Very Unpleasant You Can Hardly Stop Yourself.

There Is A Pair Of Snakes Who Have Learned To Drive A Car So Recklessly That They Would Run You Over In The Street And Never Stop To Apologize.

Deciding Whether Or Not To Trust A Person Is Like Deciding Whether Or Not To Climb A Tree, Because You Might Get A Wonderful View From The Highest Branch, Or You Might Simply Get Covered In Sap, And For This Reason Many People Choose To Spend Their Time Alone And Indoors, Where It Is Harder To Get A Splinter.

I Wrote Rick Before I Was Published, And I Had No Vision Of It, Really. It Was Just A Story That Occurred To Me, And That Put Its Little Claws In My Brain, And I Wrote It, And I Showed It To A Couple People, And They All Said, "this Is Ghastly."

Bad Circumstances Have A Way Of Ruining Things That Would Otherwise Be Pleasant.

E!" Klaus Cried. "e As In Exit!" The Baudelaires Ran Down E As In Exit, But When They Reached The Last Cabinet, The Row Was Becoming F As In Falling File Cabinets, G As In Go The Other Way! And H As In How In The World Are We Going To Escape?

No Matter Who You Are, No Matter Where You Live, And No Matter How Many People Are Chasing You, What You Don't Read Is Often As Important As What You Do Read.

This Story Is About The Baudelaires. And They Are The Sort Of People Who Know That There’s Always Something. Something To Invent, Something To Read, Something To Bite, And Something To Do, To Make A Sanctuary, No Matter How Small. And For This Reason, I Am Happy To Say, The Baudelaires Were Very Fortunate Indeed.

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Percy Bysshe Shelley

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