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My Mom's Whole Side Of The Family, They're All Packers Fans. My Mom's A Bears Fan. My Stepdad Is A Vikings Guy. So That Gets Ugly. My Mom Sits Upstairs Watching The Bears Game; He Sits In The Basement. They Can't Watch It Together. Football's A Violent Anger In Our Family Dynamic.

-Ashton Kutcher

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My Mom's Whole Side

Ashton Kutcher

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My Mom's Whole Side Of The Family, They're All Packers Fans. My Mom's A Bears Fan. My Stepdad Is A Vikings Guy. So That Gets Ugly. My Mom Sits Upstairs Watching The Bears Game; He Sits In The Basement. They Can't Watch It Together. Football's A Violent Anger In Our Family Dynamic.

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I Think That When We Start Thought-policing People And Idea-policing People, Then That's Crossing A Line. And I Think, You Know, Everybody's So Afraid Of This Imaginary Line Of Thought Police That They Forget Their Own Personal Safety.

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Modeling Is The Best Because You Have To Look Hot, Which Comes Easy To Me, You Know. I'm Blessed With That.

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There's No Text That Can Replace A Loving Touch When Someone We Love Is Hurting.

Steve Jobs Had Something Like A 90% Approval Rating From His Employees. You Hear Stories About Him Being This Short-tempered, Aggressive Person, Which He Was. But He Was In The Pursuit Of Making People Around Him Better, So The Product They Created Would Be Better.

Approval Rating

I Was On Facebook. I Was On Myspace. And Somebody Said To Me, You Should Check Out This Thing Called Twitter. I Knew Five People That Were On It, So I Started Following Those People And Seeing What They Were Doing, And Then I Applied My Own Sensibility To It. The More That I Shared, The More People Started Following Me.

I've Already Exceeded My Expectations For Myself. I'm One Of The Most Influential People! I Mean Come On! I Wanted To Be... I Never Thought The Things I've Experienced In My Life, I Didn't Think That Was The Life That I Was Gonna Get To Live.

I've Had Some Really, Really Wild Fun Nights In Vegas. I Ended Up On Stage Once With This Band, The Digital Underground, Doing The Humpty Dance.

Your Shoes Have To Match Your Belt. That's Rule Number One For Guys. You Can't Put The Brown Shoes With The Black Belt. Or A Brown Belt With A Black Wristwatch. Just Don't Do It! Also, I Don't Like Boots With Suits. And When You Wear Sneakers, Make Sure They Go With Your Shirt.

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I Actually Used To Be A Front For The Largest National Sports-betting Syndicate In America.

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Women Have A Level Of Outward Compassion That A Lot Of Men Don't Necessarily Have. Guys Feel As Deeply As Women, But They Don't Share It As Much.

The Sexiest Thing In The Entire World Is Being Really Smart. And Being Thoughtful And Being Generous. Everything Else Is Crap.

I Don't Believe That Old Cliche That Good Things Come To Those Who Wait. I Think Good Things Come To Those Who Want Something So Bad They Can't Sit Still.

Always Roll Up The Sleeves On Your Shirt. It Gives The Impression That You're Working, Even If You're Not.

Everybody Likes To Hold Up A Really Big Righteous Sword When People Make Mistakes. Well Guess What, Now It's Recorded And Everyone Has Access To It... So Let's Stop Judging People.

I Live My Life Like Anybody Else, And People Choose To Write About Mine. And What They Write I Can't Control - When They Write Lies At Least - Because The Laws Can't Really Protect You Unless You Can Prove Malicious Intent. So I Just Choose Not To Read It.

Vulnerability Is The Essence Of Romance. It's The Art Of Being Uncalculated, The Willingness To Look Foolish, The Courage To Say, 'this Is Me, And I'm Interested In You Enough To Show You My Flaws With The Hope That You May Embrace Me For All That I Am But, More Important, All That I Am Not.'

And Every Job That I Had Was A Stepping Stone To My Next Job And I Never Quit My Job Until I Had My Next Job. And So Opportunities Look A Lot Like Work.

I've Learned The Hard Way How Valuable Privacy Is. And I've Learned That There Are A Lot Of Things In Your Life That Really Benefit From Being Private. And Relationships Are One Of Them.

We're All Living In A Casino. It's Just Vegas. Everything Is On Camera. Everything Is Being Recorded. Everything Is On Audio. The Truth Is We All Have Access To Everybody Else's Information.

There Is Some Argument About Who Actually Invented Text Messaging, But I Think It's Safe To Say It Was A Man. Multiple Studies Have Shown That The Average Man Uses About Half As Many Words Per Day As Women, Thus Text Messaging. It Eliminates Hellos And Goodbyes And Cuts Right To The Chase.

I Think People Know Steve Jobs The Showman. I Think People Know The Guy Who Stood Up And Gave The Keynotes. The Magician. The Salesman.

There Was A Point In Time Where I Was Doing Movies To Be Able To Afford To Live In A Certain Way.

I'm A Guy's Guy. I Don't Comb My Hair Unless I Have To, And I Don't Use Lotions Or Fancy Shampoos.

I Think People Are Having Less Of An Investment In Relationships. It Used To Be That You Meet Someone, You Go On Four Or Five Dates And You Gradually Get To Know Them And Trust Them At The Same Time, And You Learn A Little Bit About Them. Now, It Could Be One Date - Maybe Even Before That First Date - You Go On Facebook Have All The Information.

It Takes A Lot Of Energy To Be Funny... For Me It Does. I Feel Like I Work Twice As Hard When I'm Doing Comedy.

True Luxury Is Being Able To Own Your Time - To Be Able To Take A Walk, Sit On Your Porch, Read The Paper, Not Take The Call, Not Be Compelled By Obligation.

The Truth Is That I'm An Idiot. I Am. I Don't Do Things By The Rules Sometimes. I Say Things That I Probably Shouldn't Say. I Push Buttons. I Deserve To Be Made Fun Of. And I Feel Like, As Soon As You Can Make Fun Of Something, It Instantly Removes The Fear.

I Want To Be Like Tom Cruise From 'the Outsiders' And Go On And Do Amazing Movies For A Long Time.

I Love Efficiencies And I Love Solving Big Problems, And I Love Working With People Who Create Efficiencies. I Love Creating Efficiencies In My Own Life On A Day-to-day Basis.

I Don't Understand Shopping, It Doesn't Make Any Sense To Me. As Guys, We Decide We Want Something And Then We Go Out And Buy It. Women Go To The Store Having No Idea What They're Going To Buy, Or What They're Even Doing, It's Like A Whole Different Sport. It's Like Going To A Football Game To Maybe Watch A Game. I Don't Get It.

I Was Shooting A Scene In My New Film, No Strings Attached, In Which I Say To Natalie Portman, “if You Miss Me. You Can’t Text, You Can’t Email, You Can’t Post It On My Facebook Wall. If You Really Miss Me, You Come And See Me.

Strings Attached

I Think That Romance Sort Of Coincides With Effort, So You Can Fall Flat On Your Face, But As Long As You're Making A Great Effort, I Think It Comes Off As Romantic. So It Can Be Something As Simple As, Like, If You're Someone Who Doesn't Cook, You Can Make A Meal.

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