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It Takes A Lot Of Energy To Be Funny... For Me It Does. I Feel Like I Work Twice As Hard When I'm Doing Comedy.

-Ashton Kutcher

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It Takes A Lot

Ashton Kutcher

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It Takes A Lot Of Energy To Be Funny... For Me It Does. I Feel Like I Work Twice As Hard When I'm Doing Comedy.

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I Don't Think Opposites Attract. I Think Like Attracts Like. So I Don't Think That They Do Attract, Opposites. Only When You're Talking About Magnetic Poles.

I Think Privacy Is Valuable. You Don't Have To Share Everything, And It's Healthy To Occasionally Hit The Pause Button And Ask Yourself If You're Oversharing. But At The End Of The Day, If You're Not Doing Anything Wrong You Don't Have Anything To Hide.

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I Don't Understand Shopping, It Doesn't Make Any Sense To Me. As Guys, We Decide We Want Something And Then We Go Out And Buy It. Women Go To The Store Having No Idea What They're Going To Buy, Or What They're Even Doing, It's Like A Whole Different Sport. It's Like Going To A Football Game To Maybe Watch A Game. I Don't Get It.

There's No Sense In Making Life Seem Like It's A Struggle, Because That Doesn't Make Anybody Feel Better.

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Everybody Likes To Hold Up A Really Big Righteous Sword When People Make Mistakes. Well Guess What, Now It's Recorded And Everyone Has Access To It... So Let's Stop Judging People.

I Think Great Relationships Are Great Partnerships, And Those Come In All Shapes, Sizes, Forms, Ages. The Only Tip I Have For Anyone In A Relationship Or A Partnership Is Work On It When It's Good. It's Very Easy To Try To Take The Break When Things Are Going Good, But That's The Time You Have To Keep Working On It, Because You Can Keep It Good, And That's Worth A Lot.

I Try To Make Good Decisions As Decisions Come Up.

I'm Continually Trying To Make Choices That Put Me Against My Own Comfort Zone. As Long As You're Uncomfortable, It Means You're Growing.

I've Usually Found That The Greatest Rewards In My Life Come From Taking On Things That Are A Little Bit Scary.

I Would Say I'm 90 Percent Collaborative In Everything I Do, And 10 Percent Of The Time I Just Make The Call.

I Wanted To Be A Genetic Engineer. That Was My Goal In College. I Wanted To Figure Out What The Codon Sequence Was That Causes Replication In A Cardio Myopathic Virus. That Was My Goal.

Having Someone To Share Not Only The Joy Of Life, But The Pain Of Life... That's Been Sort Of The Biggest Lesson Of Marriage. I Can Never Get Angry Or Upset With My Partner Because They're Just A Part Of Me.

There Are A Lot Of Perks That Come With Fame, And With Every Positive There's A Negative, And Then It All Kind Of Balances Out.

I Really Think That Technology Has The Greatest Potential To Accelerate Happiness Of Most Things In The World. The Companies That Will Ultimately Do Well Are The Companies That Chase Happiness. If You Find A Way To Help People Find Love, Or Health Or Friendship, The Dollar Will Chase That.

There's No Text That Can Replace A Loving Touch When Someone We Love Is Hurting.

I Fail Frequently - I Just Try To Keep It Quiet.

I Think We've All Been In The Middle Of Doing Something We Cared About, When Someone Coming In The Room And Saying 'hello' Was Annoying. I Personally Can Understand That, As Someone Who Tries To Create.

My Teacher Says That Everything That You Want In The World Is One Step Away, You Just Have To Figure Out Which Direction To Step In.

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I Certainly Don't Think I'm Deserving Of Taking Up Space Forever As A Human. There's A Whole Generation Of People Yet To Be Born That Are Going To Be So Much More Evolved Than I Am. I Don't Want To Take Up Space. They're Going To Be Better Equipped To Make The World A Better Place Than I Am.

In The Movies, You Want A Good Story And Characters That Are Honest, But You Are Also Looking For A Good Director Who Can Lead The Ship. That's How We Look At Business. Everybody Has A Great Idea For A Start-up, And So Do Their Relatives, And They Tell Me, 'you Gotta Build It.' I Say, 'i Have To Believe In It.'

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Strings Attached

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Compliments You

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When I Was 13, I Had My First Job With My Dad Carrying Shingles Up To The Roof. And Then I Got A Job Washing Dishes At A Restaurant. And Then I Got A Job In A Grocery Store Deli. And Then I Got A Job In A Factory Sweeping Cheerio Dust Off The Ground.

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And Every Job That I Had Was A Stepping Stone To My Next Job And I Never Quit My Job Until I Had My Next Job. And So Opportunities Look A Lot Like Work.

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I Think Guys Wind Up After A While Not Wanting Another Guy Sleeping With The Girl They're With. But Eventually Everyone Wants Something More. We All Have That Desire For Something Special, Something Committed. We All Want To Be The One.

There's Something Advantageous About Having People Underestimate Your Intellect, Insomuch As A Lot Of Things Are Revealed To You. They Assume You Don't Know What You're Talking About, Then All Of A Sudden, You Do. And The Next Thing You Know, You Have Information You Wouldn't Normally Have.

Entertainment, Really, Is A Dying Industry.

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I'm Happy Wherever I Go, Whatever I Do. I'm Happy In Iowa, I'm Happy Here In California.

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I Don't Buy These Rag Magazines That Feed Off Of Stolen, You Know, Press. They're Basically Stealing Someone's Image In Order To Make Money For Themselves... They Wait At The End Of My Street In Their Cars. Every Time I Exit My Home, I Have Company.

I Don't Know That Sex Always Has To Have Feelings, But I Think That Friendship Always Does.

As Marriage Goes, I Think Most People Sort Of Set Being - You Know Getting Married As The Goal As Opposed To Being Married.

Acting Can Be So Much Fun That It's Easy To Forget That What You're Doing Is A Job. But If I've Got My Tie On, I'm Going To Work.

I Have Someone That Cooks For Me... That's The Best Thing Ever. I Just Want To Show Up And I Want My House To Be Like A Hotel... So I Want To Have A Couple Of Options... I Like To Have A Couple Of Options.

How Does Somebody Know What They Want If They Haven't Even Seen It?

I Can't Grow A Mustache. It's Pretty Sad If I Attempt To.

I Really Think That Technology Has The Greatest Potential To Accelerate Happiness Of Most Things In The World

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I Think Directing Yourself Is A Monumental Task. Just To Self Edit As An Actor, You Work For Some Directors Who Don't Give You A Lot Of Feedback So You Have To Do That. That's A Difficult Thing To Do As An Actor.

When You Venture At Life With Curiosity, You Can Learn From Anything. You Learn From Things That You Could Never Maybe Thought You Could Learn From. And When You Actually Step Into The Room With A Lot Of People Who Have An Education In A Classroom, That Is Very Similar To Other People's Educations, You'll Actually Come With A Unique Perspective That Could Be A Valuable Perspective That Creates An Innovation That Could Change The World.

Anyone Who Has Tried To Build Something That Changes People's Lives Sometimes Finds Life To Be A Distraction, And Finds People Who Don't Care As Much As They Do To Be Annoying.

Whether You Like It Or Not, The Digital Age Has Produced A New Format For Modern Romance, And Natural Selection May Be Favoring The Quick-thumbed Quip Peddler Over The Confident, Ice-breaking Alpha Male.

I Woke Up Many Mornings Not Knowing What I'd Done The Night Before. I'm Amazed I'm Not Dead.

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The Sexiest Thing In The Entire World Is Being Really Smart. And Being Thoughtful And Being Generous. Everything Else Is Crap. I Promise You. It's Just Crap That People Try To Sell To You To Make You Feel Like Less. So Don't Buy It. Be Smart. Be Thoughtful And Be Generous.

I Actually Used To Be A Front For The Largest National Sports-betting Syndicate In America.

Steve Jobs Was A Pretty Complicated Character And Somewhat A Psychologically Complicated Guy.

I Think That When We Start Thought-policing People And Idea-policing People, Then That's Crossing A Line. And I Think, You Know, Everybody's So Afraid Of This Imaginary Line Of Thought Police That They Forget Their Own Personal Safety.

I've Learned The Hard Way How Valuable Privacy Is. And I've Learned That There Are A Lot Of Things In Your Life That Really Benefit From Being Private. And Relationships Are One Of Them.

I Am Only Young Once, Who Cares If I'm A Goofball!

I've Had Some Really, Really Wild Fun Nights In Vegas. I Ended Up On Stage Once With This Band, The Digital Underground, Doing The Humpty Dance.

If You Really Want To Make A Relationship Work, At Some Point In Time, You're Going To Have To Make Some Sacrifices And Do Some Things That Are A Little Bit Uncomfortable.

A Lot Of People Use Social Media To Share Mundane Things Or For Self-glorification. I Try To Use It To Share Interesting Things With People.

In The Sex Education Process In Schools, The One Thing That They Teach About Is How To Get Pregnant And How To Not Get Pregnant. But They Don't Really Talk About Sex As A Point Of Pleasure For Women.

When It Comes To Love, Everyone Wants To Receive It, But At The End Of The Day, You Don't Get To Receive It Until You Start To Give It. That Goes For Everything. What You Give Is What You Receive. If You Want The Drug, You Have To Give The Drug.

The End Of The Day

The Film Industry Brings People Together, And So Does Technology. I See Them As Similar Platforms.

I'll Watch A Keanu Reeves Movie And I'll Go, 'wow, He's Really Not A Very Good Actor!'

The Largest Fear In The World Is To Speak In Public. We Fear Of Stumbling, Or Public Humiliation, And So We're Fearing A Face-to-face Rejection. So, We'll Say Things In A Text Or E-mail That We Would Never Say Face-to-face. So, Relationships Are Coming Together Faster And Breaking Apart Faster, And They're A Little Bit More Disposable.

We're All Living In A Casino. It's Just Vegas. Everything Is On Camera. Everything Is Being Recorded. Everything Is On Audio. The Truth Is We All Have Access To Everybody Else's Information.

Although I Considered Putting My Eight Years Of Boy Scout Experience And Love For Our Nation To The Test By Joining The Military, I Did Not Want To Put Myself In A Position Where I Might Be Commanded To Take The Life Of Another, And Quickly Ended My Flirtation With Military Service.

I Think Love Is One Of The Most Elusive Things In The World. I Don't Know That There's A Perfect Formula For It And That's What Makes The Stories Interesting.

I Think Romance Is Something That You Don't Clock Or Keep Track Of... You Don't Manage It In That Way. It's Something That Happens In A Moment. Usually, It's In A Period Of Time When You Put Yourself In An Uncomfortable Position For The Sake Of Somebody Else.

If Facebook Gets Your Entire Social Graph, You Don't Necessarily Want To Share Everything With Your Entire Social Graph. You Might Wanna Parse That Social Graph. So There's A Company Called Pass That Is A Private Social Network That I Personally Use For My Friends And My Family.

I Think I Was Always Able To Laugh A Lot At The Industry - To Be Detached From It, Even If Some Of The Other Models Weren't. Jeez - It's Hardly Rocket Science, Is It? It's Not As If You Can Get To Be A Better Model..... .you Can Either Get Away With It, Or You Cant? And Most Of Them Were Also Acutely Aware Of The Passage Of Time.....and How It Would Affect Their Careers.

My Mom Is Still Yelling At Me Because She Needs More Autographed Pictures.

I'll Probably Never Be The Best Actor In Hollywood, But I Hope To Be The Hardest Working.

What I've Become Good At Is Bringing Things That Aren't Necessarily Mainstream To The Mainstream. What I Did See On Twitter Was A Potential For Mass Publication; It's A Mainstream Consumer Broadcasting Device. It Transforms Customers And Companies. You Have To Be Transparent Or You Fail.

I'm Very Tech-forward. However, I Also Think Hitting The Pause Button Is Not A Bad Thing, And Really Connecting With People One-to-one Viscerally, Having A Connection With Someone, Is Really Important.

I Live My Life Like Anybody Else, And People Choose To Write About Mine. And What They Write I Can't Control - When They Write Lies At Least - Because The Laws Can't Really Protect You Unless You Can Prove Malicious Intent. So I Just Choose Not To Read It.

People Are Most Shocked And Most In Disbelief That I Go To The Office Every Day. I Have A Job. When I'm Not Acting On A Movie, I Go To Work, First Thing In The Morning. I'm At Work At 8 O'clock In The Morning, And I Get Home From Work At 7 O'clock At Night. I Treat My Job Like A Job, And I Work At It. I Think People Would Probably Be Most Surprised, If I Ever Calculated Up The Number Of Hours I Work On An Average Week And Published That. If It Was Ever Documented, I Think People Would Be Shocked To Find Out.

Everything Around Us That We Call Life Was Made Up By People That Are No Smarter Than You.

For Me, The Most Entertaining Evening Would Be To Go Sit With Entrepreneurs And Talk With Them About How They're Building Their Companies And How We Can Help To Make Them Better. That's The One Thing In The World - Well, I Love Doing That.

One Of The Things About Being On Twitter, For Me, Is Mostly About Just Being On The Pulse Of What People Are Interested In, What People Are Doing And What People Are Looking For. I Look At Entertainment Projects And Storytelling And I Really Try To Think About What People Want.

I Mean, Everyone Has To Calm Down Sometime. I'll Still Smoke Up And Party, But Yeah, Eventually You Gotta Settle Down And Be An Adult. But Still Have Fun. Demi's Helped Me Sort Of Like, Understand That Down The Road It'll Just Happen.

I Think The Reward For Doing Comedy Is Doing The Comedy Itself. You Get To Go To Work Everyday And Laugh And Make Other People Laugh And To Me There's No Greater Reward Than That.

I Would Say Probably My Most Alpha Quality Is My Competitive Nature. I'm Very Competitive, And It Tends To Bring Out Very Much The Man In Me.

When You Build Characters From The Outside In, They Become, Oftentimes They Become Like 'saturday Night Live' Characters Or They Become Like Caricatures Of The Character.

It's Funny, I Talk To Some Of My Friends And They Don't Want To To Get A Job At Starbucks. They Don't Want To Get A Job At, Wherever, Because They Feel Like It's Below Them. And I Think The Only Thing That Can Be Below You Is To Not Have A Job. Go Work Until You Can Get The Job That You Want To Have.

Your Best T-shirt Should Be Like Your Bed, It Just Feels Like You Are Home When You Are In It.

I Trust My Government. I Actually Have A Trust For My Government With My Data, And I Trust Them To Protect Me. They've Protected Me - They've Made The Best Efforts To Protect Me My Whole Life.

The Sexiest Thing In The Entire World Is Being Really Smart. And Being Thoughtful And Being Generous. Everything Else Is Crap.

Ultimately There's A Dirty Secret About The Internet, Which Is Nothing Disappears. All These Companies Have All Your Information. They Have Your Search History.

It Takes A Lot Of Energy To Be Funny... For Me It Does. I Feel Like I Work Twice As Hard When I'm Doing Comedy.

The People Here Are Amazing - The Young People Here Are Amazing. The Entrepreneurs Here Are Incredible.

I Gave Up Smoking, I Never Gave Up The Drinking. But It's Hard To Smoke And Swim At The Same Time. You'd Get To The Edge Of The Pool And All You'd Be Wanting Is A Cigarette When All You Actually Really Want Is Oxygen. So I Traded The Smoke For The Oxygen.

Working Hard, And Being Thoughtful, And Generous, And Smart; It's A Path To A Better Life.

Build A Life, Don't Live One...

After 'punk'd,' My Company Katalyst Did A Deal With Aol To Produce Short-form Content For The Web. At That Time It Was A Different Game. If You Got Front-page Coverage On Any Popular Website, You Could Probably Get A Push.

When It Comes To Getting Dressed, Men Are A Little Bit More Important Than Handbags But Less Important Than Shoes.

Take A Long Pause ...breathe And Know That Things Are Happening For You Not To You.

Americans Think That They Have A History, But It's Nothing Compared To Europe.

I Believe That Opportunity Looks A Lot Like Hard Work.

My Goal Is To Embrace The People, The 'natural Resources' Of Israel, And To Build Businesses With The Creative Israelis.

I Never Thought In My Life, I Never Really Thought I Would Get Married. I Watched My Parents Go Through A Divorce, And I Thought, Like, This Is Just Not Something People Are Supposed To Do.

True Luxury Is Being Able To Own Your Time - To Be Able To Take A Walk, Sit On Your Porch, Read The Paper, Not Take The Call, Not Be Compelled By Obligation.

Be Smart, Be Thoughtful, Be Generous.

See You On The Other Side, Kid.

I Don't Read The Magazines That Make Things Up About People. I Know What The Truth Is. I Don't Sort Of Indulge In My Own Fodder. I Don't Really Care What They Write About Me.

I Wouldn't Say I'm Personally Trying To Transition From Comedy Into Drama. I Don't Look At Things Like, 'oh, I Need To Do A Drama Now.' I Get A Lot Of Material Sent To Me, And If I Feel Like Something Has The Creative Integrity And The Right Director And The Right Whoever Involved, The Right Actors And Is A Great Story, Then I Do It.

The Bigger Thing With Bitcoin Is Not Bitcoin Itself, But What Does That Decentralized Technology Really Do?

I'm Not A Follower Of This Or That Religious Leader. More Wars Are Started Because Of Religious Leaders, And People Are Following And They Don't Know Why... That Is Religiosity. That Is What Turns People Into Robots.

People Used To Behave Morally Because They Thought God Was Always Watching - In Some Ways God Today Is The Collective, And The Collective Is Watching.

If You Believe The Good Stuff That People Say Then You Have To Believe The Bad Stuff And Then You Allow Yourself To Be On A Roller Coaster Of What Other People Think. So I Think You Try To Find The Good In The Bad And The Bad In The Good And Balance Yourself And Stay On An Even Keel.

I Think People Know Steve Jobs The Showman. I Think People Know The Guy Who Stood Up And Gave The Keynotes. The Magician. The Salesman.

I Don't Have To Act For Work Anymore; I Can Act For Passion. That's Freeing, But It's Also A Prison Of Its Own. When You Can Do Anything You Want, You're Really Responsible To Do Something Great. And That's Scary.

Anyone Who Wants To Be An Entrepreneur Like Someone Else Is Actually Looking In The Wrong Direction. You Don't Look Out For Inspiration, You Look In. You Have To Ask Yourself How Can I Be Better Today, At Solving The Problem I Am Trying To Solve For My Company. I Wouldn't Encourage Anyone To Be Like Me. Just Be Like You.

Your Shoes Have To Match Your Belt. That's Rule Number One For Guys. You Can't Put The Brown Shoes With The Black Belt. Or A Brown Belt With A Black Wristwatch. Just Don't Do It! Also, I Don't Like Boots With Suits. And When You Wear Sneakers, Make Sure They Go With Your Shirt.

A Lot Of The Characters I Play Are Very Naive, And I Don't Think I'm Like That. And I'm Not Stupid!

I Don't Believe That Old Cliche That Good Things Come To Those Who Wait. I Think Good Things Come To Those Who Want Something So Bad They Can't Sit Still.

When Your Wife Calls, You Have To Take It, No Matter What You're Doing.

I Say Whatever I Think And Whatever Is On My Mind, And I Just Hope That It Comes Out Good. I Just Try To Have A Lot Of Fun.

We Try To Make Each Situation Specific To The Person. At The Beginning Of The Season, We Come Up With, Like, 50 To 100 Ideas, Which We Workshop And Then We Call Around To See Who Is Interested In Doing Something Like That. Once We Find The People, We Make The Bid Specific To Them. A Lot Of It Is About Where You Can Get People To Go Physically, Which Is A Little Tricky Because Most Actors And Musicians Are Kind Of Hermits-they Like To Stay In Their Houses.

Romance Is Sort Of An Island Right Next To Care. When You Care About Someone And You Listen To Them And You Hear Them And You Can Feel Them And You Know Just What's Right, And Generally It's Something That Will Be Very Unimpressive To A Room Of Strangers.

The Failures That We Have Are Sometimes Expensive Educations.

When You Do Movies It's You Have A 3 Month Family And Then Everybody Goes Away And Then Joins Another Family, You Know?

I've Constantly Done My Best To Get The Best Material I Can Get With The Best Directors I Can Get To Direct Me.

I Would Just Like A Woman Someday, Somewhere, At Some Point In My Life To Say To Me, 'you're A Great Listener.' Haven't Heard It Yet, And That's A Superior Compliment To Get From A Woman. But I'm Going To Work On It.

There Are A Lot Of Perks That Come With Fame And With Every Positive There's A Negative And Then It All Kind Of Balances Out. The Travelling Is Great. You Get To See So Many Different Places But There's A Downside; Having Everything Splattered Across Every Media Resource That Exists, Being Chased By Photographers And Have Them Sit At The End Of Your Driveway Every Day. But It All Kind Of Balances.

There Is Some Argument About Who Actually Invented Text Messaging, But I Think It's Safe To Say It Was A Man. Multiple Studies Have Shown That The Average Man Uses About Half As Many Words Per Day As Women, Thus Text Messaging. It Eliminates Hellos And Goodbyes And Cuts Right To The Chase.

Depending On What You Do And How You Do What You Do, I Wouldn't Recommend For Everyone To Allow Themselves To Be Public Online. I Think It Also In Some Way, Shape Or Form Allows You To Answer Questions That Otherwise Would Be Lingering And Dictate Your Own Path Instead Of Having Your Path Dictated By The Media.

If You Want To Be A Real Entrepreneur You Have To Be The Cause, You Have To Be The Creator Of Someone Else's New Realty. Which Eliminates Time, Space, Motion, And Friction.

I'm Very Awkward When I Have Time Off. I Don't Know What To Do With Myself. It's Weird Not To Work.

The Power Of A Handwritten Letter Is Greater Than Ever. It's Personal And Deliberate And Means More Than An E-mail Or Text Ever Will. It Has A Unique Scent. It Requires Deciphering. But, Most Important, It's Flawed.

Life Can Be A Lot Broader... When You Realize One Simple Thing: Everything Around Us That We Call Life Was Made Up Of People That Are No Smarter Than You. And You Can Build Your Own Things And You Can Build Your Own Life That Other People Can Live In. So Build A Life, Don't Live One, Find Your Opportunities And Always Be Sexy.

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