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Most Of The Time We've Been Living In England And Now We've Bought An Apartment In New York Which We Absolutely Love.

-Joan Collins

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Most Of The Time

Joan Collins

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Most Of The Time We've Been Living In England And Now We've Bought An Apartment In New York Which We Absolutely Love.

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When I Was At School, I Was Terrible At Algebra And Arithmetic, But I Was Always The Best At English And Literature. And Acting, Of Course.

According To My Sister Jackie, Most Men Stray. And Sex Doesn't Mean Anything To Most Men. But I Wouldn't Date A Man Who Slept Around. Absolutely Not, I've Divorced People For That

And We Have Not Found Any Generational Gap At All. If He Wants To Go A Football Game, He Goes. If I Want To Go To A Fashion Show, I Go. We Don't Have To Do Everything Together. But We Like Doing Most Things Together.

My Mother Was A Domestic Goddess And Mother Earth Figure. She Was Sweet And Placid - Just What The Perfect Wife Was Supposed To Be And I Was Determined Not To Be.

No, That's What I Think God Does To You. He Gives You Some Great Gig In Which You Make A Whole Heap Of Money, And You're Just On Top Of The World And On Every Magazine Cover, But Your Personal Life Is Miserable. And For Most Of That Time, I Have To Say, My Personal Life Was Pretty Miserable.

And I Think Of That Again As I've Written In Several Of My Beauty Books, A Lot Of Health Comes From The Proper Eating Habits, Which Are Something That - You Know, I Come From A Generation That Wasn't - Didn't Have A Lot Of Food.

The Sad Truth Is That Most Of My Husbands Turned Out To Be Convincing Liars.

I've Made No Secret Of The Fact That I Often Wear Wigs And Have In Fact Launched My Own Dynasty Range, Named After Various Characters. I Find This Saves A Ton Of Time - As Well As My Own Hair.

I Don't Know Why People Are So Obsessed With Age Anyway. I Mean, 90 Is The New 70 70 Is The New 50 And 50 Is The New 40 So The Whole Act-your-age Thing? Only Up To A Point.

I Don't Believe In Vitamin Pills. I Swear By Men, Darling-and As Many As Possible.

I Have Never Been The Mousy, Stand-two-paces-behind, Obedient 'little Woman' Type.

I've Three Children, Three Grandchildren, I Work, I Travel, And I'm Very Happily Married. I'm Very Satisfied And Happy With My Life And There Really Isn't Anything I Want.

I Used To Not Be Confident. My Father Certainly Didn't Add To My Confidence. When I Was 17 Or 18, I Was Voted The Most Beautiful Girl In England By The Association Of Press Photographers. When They Called Daddy For A Comment, He Said, 'i'm Amazed. She's A Nice Looking Girl, But Nothing Special.'

I Was Voted The Most Beautiful Girl In The World In 1958, And Courted By Every Young, Available Man In Los Angeles, Most Of Whom I Didn't Go Out With, By The Way.

Life Is Not Life Unless You Make Mistakes

Making Mistakes

I Was So Fortunate To Work Closely With The Designer Nolan Miller Whilst On 'dynasty' To Create The Wardrobe For Alexis Carrington Colby, And We Had Great Fun Sourcing Outfits.

When I Finish Dressing Before A Night Out And Have Put On All The Accessories, I Usually Look At Myself In The Mirror Long And Hard And Then End Up Removing Something. Whether It's A Belt, Bracelet Or A Bauble, Less Is Always More.

I'm Extremely Happy In My Life. I Consider Myself To Be Very Blessed.

Extremely Happy

Every Time An Article Is Written About Me Or Any Of My Contemporaries Who's Had The Fortune And Discipline To Look Good At A Certain Age, I Am Struck By The Tone Of Astonishment, And The Certainty That Something Is Being Done Secretively To Beat The Devil.

If I Hear The Word 'retire,' It Makes Me Want To Throw Up. And Then Do What? Sit Around All Day Watching Television?

It Is Unseemly To Undress On Stage. I Won't Do That.

I Blame My Grandmother For Encouraging Me To Become An Actress.

I Think You Always Have To Use Certain Parts Of Yourself In Any Role.

I've Become Totally Hooked On Cellex-c. It's An Anti-ageing Serum And Is Fantastic. I Use It Morning And Evening And Even On My Hands, Where It Has Faded Those Dark Spots.

Well, It Is Quite Daunting, But I Made My First Appearance On The Stage When I Was Nine, Because I Went To A Theatrical School, Because I Wanted To Be An Actress Since I Was Eight.

And The Truth Is I've Always Taken Very Good Care Of My Skin, And Always, Always Worn Make-up.

The Easiest Way To Convince My Kids That They Don't Really Need Something Is To Get It For Them.

I Never Think About Age. I Believe Your Age Is Totally How You Feel. I've Seen Women Of Thirty-five Who Are Old And People Of Seventy-five Who Are Young. As Long As I Look After Myself Physically, Mentally And Emotionally, I'll Stay Young.

I Think Bare Legs In Winter Are Idiotic. Unless Your Naked Pins Are Toned, Tanned And Veinless, It's Best To Cover Up. There Is Nothing More Elegant In Winter Than Dark Tights Worn With Matching Knee-length Boots And A Belted Trench Coat.

Gone Are The Days When A Gentleman Lightly Took Your Hand In His And Brushed His Lips Across It, Or Tipped His Hat To Acknowledge You As He Chivalrously Stepped Aside To Let You Pass.

Acknowledge You

Certainly There Are Dozens Of Over-50 Actresses Who Look Great: Sophia Loren, Susan Sarandon, Ursula Andress, Stefanie Powers, Raquel Welch, Barbara Eden, Joanna Lumley, Linda Gray - The List Is Endless, And These Are Just The Actresses! I Have Many Friends In Their 60s, 70s And 80s, Not In The Limelight, But Who All Look Absolutely Stunning.

Isn't Three Quarters Of Life A Guilty Pleasure?

I Think Health Is Another Exceedingly Important Thing.

Important Things

I'm A Fiend For Costume Jewellery And Have Countless Pairs Of Rhinestone Or Diamante Earrings, Which Are So Flattering When They Catch The Light. I Love The Designers Alexis Bittar And Kenneth Jay Lane, And I Always Go To Jewellers Butler & Wilson.

I've Never Yet Met A Man Who Could Look After Me. I Don't Need A Husband. What I Need Is A Wife.

Botox, I Think, Is Poison, I Would Never Put It Into My Face, And I'm Needle-phobic. I Spend A Lot Of Time Keeping My Face Out Of The Sun And Taking Care Of My Skin And Wearing Make-up.

If You Feel Well And Happy, Your Face Will Reflect This, But If You Are Down In The Dumps And Having A Miserable Time, Your Face Will Soon Show This, Too. In Fact, You Get The Face You Deserve By The Time You're Forty, And One Of The Keys To Looking And Feeling Younger Is Being Active.

Every Woman Should Wear Make-up. It Takes Years Off. I'm Wearing Lots Of False Eyelashes Today, And To Me, Lipstick Is The Best Cosmetic That Exists.

I've Fallen In Love Maybe Five Times In My Life. But It's A Long Life. I Do Get Crushes. Whether It's Men Or Women Or Babies.

You Can't Help Getting Older, But You Can Help Yourself From Becoming Old And Infirm, In Mind As Well As Body.

Hair, In Fact, Is Probably The Bane Of Most Women's Lives.

But I Have Had To Give Up Certain Things In My Life. One Is Shopping. Two Is Lunch With The Girls. Three Is Cocktail Parties, And Four Is Studying My Lines.

Dynasty Was The Opportunity To Take Charge Of My Career Rather Than Waiting Around Like A Library Book Waiting To Be Loaned Out.

I Really Feel Now Like A Native New Yorker. And I'm Very Happy Here.

Love May Be A Dream But Marriage Is A Nightmare.

After A Certain Age, You Get The Face You Deserve.

I've Said No To 'celebrity Big Brother,' 'strictly,' And The American One, 'dancing With The Stars.' I Don't Feel It's Right For Me. I've Been Asked To Do Reality Tv A Zillion Times. No Way. No Way. Nobody's Going To Get Into My Living Room And See Me There.

Most Of The Time We've Been Living In England And Now We've Bought An Apartment In New York Which We Absolutely Love.

Well I've Written Four Beauty Books As Well.

We Live In A Quick-fix Society Where We Need Instant Gratification For Everything. Too Fat? Get Lipo-sucked. Stringy Hair? Glue On Extensions. Wrinkles And Lines? Head To The Beauty Shop For A Pot Of The Latest Miracle Skin Stuff. It's All A Beautiful £1 Billion Con Foisted Upon Insecure Women By Canny Cosmetic Conglomerates.

Most Ankle Strap Shoes Are Seriously Unattractive, Cutting The Line Of The Leg As Well As Cutting Off The Circulation! Try Dancing In Them - Your Feet Will Look Like A Pair Of Overdone Hotdogs Afterwards.

I Received An Obe From The Queen, Which Probably Doesn't Mean Anything In America But Is Quite Nice In England - The Order Of The British Empire For Services To Drama.

I've Always Maintained That There Is A Very Fine Line Between A Daring, Sexy Older Woman And Mutton Dressed As Lamb.

If You Eat Junk, You Look Like Junk. People Say, 'it's Not My Fault, It's My Glands.' It's Not; It's Greed!

If Life Throws You A Lemon - Make Lemonade.

I'm A Bit Shy, I Suppose, And A Bit Lazy.

My Grandmother Spoiled My Father Rotten And He Grew Up Expecting Women To Do Whatever He Wanted. When He Married My Beautiful Mother, Elsa, He Expected Her To Give Up Her Career As A Champion Ballroom Dancer And Become A Good Wife And Mother, Which She Dutifully Did.

And I Kissed A Lot Of Frogs As Well, But No, I Kissed A Lot Of Frogs And Now I've Found My Prince.

From The Age Of 17 I Was A Pin-up Girl. I Did It For 30 Years And, Quite Frankly, It Gets A Bit Boring.

I've Never Chased Fame. I Came Into This Business To Be A Theatre Actress. I Was Nine When I First Appeared On Stage. But I Can't Say I Would Turn My Back On Fortune. I'm Someone Who Enjoys The Benefits Of Money.

I Mean, I'm A War Baby, And We Had Rationing, And We Didn't Have Sugar And Sweets, Which Is Very Good For You In Actual Fact. Because When We Had A Piece Of Fruit, We'd Gulp It Down. It Was Just Great.

I Think It Has Something To Do With Being British. We Don't Take Ourselves As Seriously As Some Other Countries Do. I Think A Lot Of People Take Themselves Far Too Seriously; I Find That A Very Tedious Attitude.

I Like To Remember Phone Numbers Because It Keeps Your Brain Active. If You Don't Use It, You Lose It.

What Is So Weird Is That Young People Who Want To Be 'celebrities' Do Not Want To Put In The Hard Work. They Don't Want To Do The Training, Go To Drama School, Read Shakespeare, Try Different Accents And Study Technique. They Just Want To Be Famous. It Is Not Just In England; It's The Same In America And All Over Europe.

My Mother Use To Call Me 'miss Perpetual Motion' Because I Rarely Keep Still.

Making Each Day A Mini Lifetime - To Achieve Something And To Enjoy Something.

I Loathe Conflict, And I Loathe Not Getting Along Well With People, So I Always Try Very Hard To Be On The Best Terms With The People I Work With.

The Cosmetics Industry Has Much To Answer For. It's A Multi-million- Pound Confidence Trick Based On Giving Women Endless Hope, Courtesy Of Overpriced Little Pots.

Age Is Just A Number. It's Totally Irrelevant Unless, Of Course, You Happen To Be A Bottle Of Wine.

And Then I Wrote My First Autobiography When I - Well, It Was 23 Years Ago. And Since Then I've Written About One Book Every Two Years.

Yes, I Love Playing Cartoony Characters. Been Known For That.

When I Was 49, I Posed For Playboy - I Was Very Flattered To Be Asked. I Was Quite Honoured, Really, Considering That Most Of The Models They Feature Are In Their Twenties.

The Problem With Beauty Is That It's Like Being Born Rich And Getting Poorer.

Doing 20 Minutes Of Stretching, Light Weights And Floor Exercises Three Times A Week Takes The Same Amount Of Time As A Long Coffee Break - And Eating A Tuna Fish Salad, Sardines On Toast Or Scrambled Eggs Is Surely Preferable To A Big Mac Or Kfc.

I'm Older Than My Sister So I Started Writing First. I Started Writing At School. I Was Always Top Of My Class In Composition, Essays, English Lit And All Of That.

Loneliness Is The Universal Problem Of Rich People.

The Secret Of Having A Personal Life Is Not Answering Too Many Questions About It.

I Have A Lot Of Male Friends.

I Never Thought I Was Particularly Good Looking. But When I See Old Photographs, I Realise That I Was. I Do Wish I Had Known That At The Time Because Beauty Is Power. I Didn't Realise How Lucky I Was To Be Young, Beautiful And In Hollywood. It Didn't Hit Me. Every Day I Woke Up, Went To The Film Studio And Just Got On With It.

I Do It Because I Love Acting, I Love Working, And Whether It's Radio, Television, Films, Theater, I Don't Care As Long As I Can Get Out There And Do It.

I Do All My Own Make-up, It Takes Me 10 Minutes.

There Are Very Few Designers In Hollywood Today Who Know How To Really Flatter A Woman's Body, And Mark Zunino Is At The Top Of My List.

My Father Is Jewish, And I Look Exactly Like Him My Mother Is British, But She's Of French Extraction.

I Have The Absolute Utmost Respect For Soap Opera Actors Now. They Work Harder Than Any Actor I Know In Any Other Medium. And They Don't Get Very Much Approbation For It.

I Say, 'use It Or Lose It.' I Have My Own Fitness Regime, Which Is Centred Around Stretching, Free-weights And Fast Walking. I Also Have A Trainer Half Of The Year, As I Spend My Summers In The South Of France Where I Swim A Lot.

Use It Or Lose It

My Parents Instilled In Me That Life Was Going To Be Very Difficult And That I'd Have To Work For Everything.

I Have Always Tried To Live My Life With Enthusiasm And Pleasure.

Only Fine Cigars Are Worth Smoking And Only Men Who Smoke Fine Cigars Are Worth Kissing.

However Much Some Journalists May Criticize Me, I Know That I Look, Feel, And Behave Several Decades Younger Than My Actual Age, And Much Of That Is Because I Believe You Are What You Think You Are. This Is Called Positive Affirmation, And It's A Really Strong Tool.

Of Course It's True: The Public Want To See Young People - Young People Are The People Who Go To The Cinema. It's A Sad Fact Of Life, But You've Got To Accept It And Not Whine About It.

I Think, Larry, One Of The Things Is I'm A Very Active Person.

Basically, Though, I Believe In Eating Well, Not Eating Too Much But Eating A Variety Of Foods.

The Endless Bonking Was Exhausting Me.

One Of The Rules About Being An Actor Or An Actress Is That You Never Diss Other Actors Or Actresses, Particularly When You Don't Know Them.

So-called Designer Bags Are Useless, And Most Are Also Ugly, Faddish And Overpriced. Pared Down And Sleek Is Always Best.

I've Spent Years When I've Not Been In The Limelight At All And I'm Perfectly Happy Living My Life Without Being Swooped On By Paparazzi.

Life Is A Predator: You Have To Eat It Before It Eats You.

It's No One's Fault To Be Born Ugly, But, Honestly, Must It Be Worn As A Symbol Of Pride?

Of Course It Does On Opening Night, But I've Never Had That Devastating Stage Fright That Some People Get, But Apparently, You Can Develop It.

I Don't Look My Age, I Don't Feel My Age And I Don't Act My Age. To Me Age Is Just A Number.

Jennifer Aniston Is Cute, But I Wouldn't Call Her Beautiful. I Think That Is Why Cheryl Cole Is So Popular, Because She Is Just So Pretty And The Public Are Starved Of Gorgeous People. When I Was Young, Everybody On Screen Was Gorgeous.

The Body Is Like A Car: The Older You Become The More Care You Have To Take Care Of It - And You Don't Leave A Ferrari Out In The Sun.

If I Need To Cheer Myself Up, I Will Put On Some Fabulous '40s Musical On Video. But I'm Very Lucky; I Seldom Get Depressed. Without Question, I'm A 'glass Half Full' Person. In Fact, It's Three-quarters Full!

And I Used To Write Novels And Little Stories And Compositions And I - But I Put Them Away Because I Started Acting When I Was 17. So There Wasn't Much Time.

I Am A Fan Of Marriage And A Fan Of Being Committed To The Right Person.

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