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If I Hear The Word 'retire,' It Makes Me Want To Throw Up. And Then Do What? Sit Around All Day Watching Television?

-Joan Collins

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If I Hear The

Joan Collins

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If I Hear The Word 'retire,' It Makes Me Want To Throw Up. And Then Do What? Sit Around All Day Watching Television?

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Certainly There Are Dozens Of Over-50 Actresses Who Look Great: Sophia Loren, Susan Sarandon, Ursula Andress, Stefanie Powers, Raquel Welch, Barbara Eden, Joanna Lumley, Linda Gray - The List Is Endless, And These Are Just The Actresses! I Have Many Friends In Their 60s, 70s And 80s, Not In The Limelight, But Who All Look Absolutely Stunning.

And I Think Of That Again As I've Written In Several Of My Beauty Books, A Lot Of Health Comes From The Proper Eating Habits, Which Are Something That - You Know, I Come From A Generation That Wasn't - Didn't Have A Lot Of Food.

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Making Mistakes

I Have Always Tried To Live My Life With Enthusiasm And Pleasure.

When I Was At School, I Was Terrible At Algebra And Arithmetic, But I Was Always The Best At English And Literature. And Acting, Of Course.

And I Kissed A Lot Of Frogs As Well, But No, I Kissed A Lot Of Frogs And Now I've Found My Prince.

Yes, I Love Playing Cartoony Characters. Been Known For That.

And We Have Not Found Any Generational Gap At All. If He Wants To Go A Football Game, He Goes. If I Want To Go To A Fashion Show, I Go. We Don't Have To Do Everything Together. But We Like Doing Most Things Together.

I'm A Fiend For Costume Jewellery And Have Countless Pairs Of Rhinestone Or Diamante Earrings, Which Are So Flattering When They Catch The Light. I Love The Designers Alexis Bittar And Kenneth Jay Lane, And I Always Go To Jewellers Butler & Wilson.

Every Woman Should Wear Make-up. It Takes Years Off. I'm Wearing Lots Of False Eyelashes Today, And To Me, Lipstick Is The Best Cosmetic That Exists.

One Of The Rules About Being An Actor Or An Actress Is That You Never Diss Other Actors Or Actresses, Particularly When You Don't Know Them.

The Problem With Beauty Is That It's Like Being Born Rich And Getting Poorer.

Hair, In Fact, Is Probably The Bane Of Most Women's Lives.

But I Have Had To Give Up Certain Things In My Life. One Is Shopping. Two Is Lunch With The Girls. Three Is Cocktail Parties, And Four Is Studying My Lines.

I Have The Absolute Utmost Respect For Soap Opera Actors Now. They Work Harder Than Any Actor I Know In Any Other Medium. And They Don't Get Very Much Approbation For It.

Dynasty Was The Opportunity To Take Charge Of My Career Rather Than Waiting Around Like A Library Book Waiting To Be Loaned Out.

Most Of The Time We've Been Living In England And Now We've Bought An Apartment In New York Which We Absolutely Love.

I Never Think About Age. I Believe Your Age Is Totally How You Feel. I've Seen Women Of Thirty-five Who Are Old And People Of Seventy-five Who Are Young. As Long As I Look After Myself Physically, Mentally And Emotionally, I'll Stay Young.

You Can't Help Getting Older, But You Can Help Yourself From Becoming Old And Infirm, In Mind As Well As Body.

My Father Is Jewish, And I Look Exactly Like Him My Mother Is British, But She's Of French Extraction.

Every Time An Article Is Written About Me Or Any Of My Contemporaries Who's Had The Fortune And Discipline To Look Good At A Certain Age, I Am Struck By The Tone Of Astonishment, And The Certainty That Something Is Being Done Secretively To Beat The Devil.

My Mother Use To Call Me 'miss Perpetual Motion' Because I Rarely Keep Still.

And Then I Wrote My First Autobiography When I - Well, It Was 23 Years Ago. And Since Then I've Written About One Book Every Two Years.

When I Finish Dressing Before A Night Out And Have Put On All The Accessories, I Usually Look At Myself In The Mirror Long And Hard And Then End Up Removing Something. Whether It's A Belt, Bracelet Or A Bauble, Less Is Always More.

I Think Health Is Another Exceedingly Important Thing.

Important Things

I Don't Believe In Vitamin Pills. I Swear By Men, Darling-and As Many As Possible.

Well, It Is Quite Daunting, But I Made My First Appearance On The Stage When I Was Nine, Because I Went To A Theatrical School, Because I Wanted To Be An Actress Since I Was Eight.

I Think, Larry, One Of The Things Is I'm A Very Active Person.

I Never Thought I Was Particularly Good Looking. But When I See Old Photographs, I Realise That I Was. I Do Wish I Had Known That At The Time Because Beauty Is Power. I Didn't Realise How Lucky I Was To Be Young, Beautiful And In Hollywood. It Didn't Hit Me. Every Day I Woke Up, Went To The Film Studio And Just Got On With It.

If You Feel Well And Happy, Your Face Will Reflect This, But If You Are Down In The Dumps And Having A Miserable Time, Your Face Will Soon Show This, Too. In Fact, You Get The Face You Deserve By The Time You're Forty, And One Of The Keys To Looking And Feeling Younger Is Being Active.

Life Is A Predator: You Have To Eat It Before It Eats You.

Well I've Written Four Beauty Books As Well.

I've Always Maintained That There Is A Very Fine Line Between A Daring, Sexy Older Woman And Mutton Dressed As Lamb.

What Is So Weird Is That Young People Who Want To Be 'celebrities' Do Not Want To Put In The Hard Work. They Don't Want To Do The Training, Go To Drama School, Read Shakespeare, Try Different Accents And Study Technique. They Just Want To Be Famous. It Is Not Just In England; It's The Same In America And All Over Europe.

Making Each Day A Mini Lifetime - To Achieve Something And To Enjoy Something.

I Have A Lot Of Male Friends.

My Parents Instilled In Me That Life Was Going To Be Very Difficult And That I'd Have To Work For Everything.

According To My Sister Jackie, Most Men Stray. And Sex Doesn't Mean Anything To Most Men. But I Wouldn't Date A Man Who Slept Around. Absolutely Not, I've Divorced People For That

I've Three Children, Three Grandchildren, I Work, I Travel, And I'm Very Happily Married. I'm Very Satisfied And Happy With My Life And There Really Isn't Anything I Want.

From The Age Of 17 I Was A Pin-up Girl. I Did It For 30 Years And, Quite Frankly, It Gets A Bit Boring.

I Don't Look My Age, I Don't Feel My Age And I Don't Act My Age. To Me Age Is Just A Number.

I'm Extremely Happy In My Life. I Consider Myself To Be Very Blessed.

Extremely Happy

I've Said No To 'celebrity Big Brother,' 'strictly,' And The American One, 'dancing With The Stars.' I Don't Feel It's Right For Me. I've Been Asked To Do Reality Tv A Zillion Times. No Way. No Way. Nobody's Going To Get Into My Living Room And See Me There.

The Body Is Like A Car: The Older You Become The More Care You Have To Take Care Of It - And You Don't Leave A Ferrari Out In The Sun.

Only Fine Cigars Are Worth Smoking And Only Men Who Smoke Fine Cigars Are Worth Kissing.

I've Spent Years When I've Not Been In The Limelight At All And I'm Perfectly Happy Living My Life Without Being Swooped On By Paparazzi.

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I Have Never Been The Mousy, Stand-two-paces-behind, Obedient 'little Woman' Type.

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If You Eat Junk, You Look Like Junk. People Say, 'it's Not My Fault, It's My Glands.' It's Not; It's Greed!

I Really Feel Now Like A Native New Yorker. And I'm Very Happy Here.

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I Do All My Own Make-up, It Takes Me 10 Minutes.

When I Was 49, I Posed For Playboy - I Was Very Flattered To Be Asked. I Was Quite Honoured, Really, Considering That Most Of The Models They Feature Are In Their Twenties.

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No, That's What I Think God Does To You. He Gives You Some Great Gig In Which You Make A Whole Heap Of Money, And You're Just On Top Of The World And On Every Magazine Cover, But Your Personal Life Is Miserable. And For Most Of That Time, I Have To Say, My Personal Life Was Pretty Miserable.

And I Used To Write Novels And Little Stories And Compositions And I - But I Put Them Away Because I Started Acting When I Was 17. So There Wasn't Much Time.

I Like To Remember Phone Numbers Because It Keeps Your Brain Active. If You Don't Use It, You Lose It.

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So-called Designer Bags Are Useless, And Most Are Also Ugly, Faddish And Overpriced. Pared Down And Sleek Is Always Best.

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I Think You Always Have To Use Certain Parts Of Yourself In Any Role.

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I Blame My Grandmother For Encouraging Me To Become An Actress.

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My Mother Was A Domestic Goddess And Mother Earth Figure. She Was Sweet And Placid - Just What The Perfect Wife Was Supposed To Be And I Was Determined Not To Be.

Age Is Just A Number. It's Totally Irrelevant Unless, Of Course, You Happen To Be A Bottle Of Wine.

Of Course It's True: The Public Want To See Young People - Young People Are The People Who Go To The Cinema. It's A Sad Fact Of Life, But You've Got To Accept It And Not Whine About It.

I've Fallen In Love Maybe Five Times In My Life. But It's A Long Life. I Do Get Crushes. Whether It's Men Or Women Or Babies.

I've Never Yet Met A Man Who Could Look After Me. I Don't Need A Husband. What I Need Is A Wife.

I Received An Obe From The Queen, Which Probably Doesn't Mean Anything In America But Is Quite Nice In England - The Order Of The British Empire For Services To Drama.

Botox, I Think, Is Poison, I Would Never Put It Into My Face, And I'm Needle-phobic. I Spend A Lot Of Time Keeping My Face Out Of The Sun And Taking Care Of My Skin And Wearing Make-up.

There Are Very Few Designers In Hollywood Today Who Know How To Really Flatter A Woman's Body, And Mark Zunino Is At The Top Of My List.

I Was Voted The Most Beautiful Girl In The World In 1958, And Courted By Every Young, Available Man In Los Angeles, Most Of Whom I Didn't Go Out With, By The Way.

Most Ankle Strap Shoes Are Seriously Unattractive, Cutting The Line Of The Leg As Well As Cutting Off The Circulation! Try Dancing In Them - Your Feet Will Look Like A Pair Of Overdone Hotdogs Afterwards.

And The Truth Is I've Always Taken Very Good Care Of My Skin, And Always, Always Worn Make-up.

I Say, 'use It Or Lose It.' I Have My Own Fitness Regime, Which Is Centred Around Stretching, Free-weights And Fast Walking. I Also Have A Trainer Half Of The Year, As I Spend My Summers In The South Of France Where I Swim A Lot.

Use It Or Lose It

The Endless Bonking Was Exhausting Me.

I Do It Because I Love Acting, I Love Working, And Whether It's Radio, Television, Films, Theater, I Don't Care As Long As I Can Get Out There And Do It.

I Loathe Conflict, And I Loathe Not Getting Along Well With People, So I Always Try Very Hard To Be On The Best Terms With The People I Work With.

The Cosmetics Industry Has Much To Answer For. It's A Multi-million- Pound Confidence Trick Based On Giving Women Endless Hope, Courtesy Of Overpriced Little Pots.

Doing 20 Minutes Of Stretching, Light Weights And Floor Exercises Three Times A Week Takes The Same Amount Of Time As A Long Coffee Break - And Eating A Tuna Fish Salad, Sardines On Toast Or Scrambled Eggs Is Surely Preferable To A Big Mac Or Kfc.

However Much Some Journalists May Criticize Me, I Know That I Look, Feel, And Behave Several Decades Younger Than My Actual Age, And Much Of That Is Because I Believe You Are What You Think You Are. This Is Called Positive Affirmation, And It's A Really Strong Tool.

I Think Bare Legs In Winter Are Idiotic. Unless Your Naked Pins Are Toned, Tanned And Veinless, It's Best To Cover Up. There Is Nothing More Elegant In Winter Than Dark Tights Worn With Matching Knee-length Boots And A Belted Trench Coat.

Gone Are The Days When A Gentleman Lightly Took Your Hand In His And Brushed His Lips Across It, Or Tipped His Hat To Acknowledge You As He Chivalrously Stepped Aside To Let You Pass.

Acknowledge You

I've Never Chased Fame. I Came Into This Business To Be A Theatre Actress. I Was Nine When I First Appeared On Stage. But I Can't Say I Would Turn My Back On Fortune. I'm Someone Who Enjoys The Benefits Of Money.

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I've Become Totally Hooked On Cellex-c. It's An Anti-ageing Serum And Is Fantastic. I Use It Morning And Evening And Even On My Hands, Where It Has Faded Those Dark Spots.

It's No One's Fault To Be Born Ugly, But, Honestly, Must It Be Worn As A Symbol Of Pride?

If I Hear The Word 'retire,' It Makes Me Want To Throw Up. And Then Do What? Sit Around All Day Watching Television?

Loneliness Is The Universal Problem Of Rich People.

My Grandmother Spoiled My Father Rotten And He Grew Up Expecting Women To Do Whatever He Wanted. When He Married My Beautiful Mother, Elsa, He Expected Her To Give Up Her Career As A Champion Ballroom Dancer And Become A Good Wife And Mother, Which She Dutifully Did.

After A Certain Age, You Get The Face You Deserve.

The Sad Truth Is That Most Of My Husbands Turned Out To Be Convincing Liars.

We Live In A Quick-fix Society Where We Need Instant Gratification For Everything. Too Fat? Get Lipo-sucked. Stringy Hair? Glue On Extensions. Wrinkles And Lines? Head To The Beauty Shop For A Pot Of The Latest Miracle Skin Stuff. It's All A Beautiful £1 Billion Con Foisted Upon Insecure Women By Canny Cosmetic Conglomerates.

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Of Course It Does On Opening Night, But I've Never Had That Devastating Stage Fright That Some People Get, But Apparently, You Can Develop It.

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