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It's Tricky Turning A Book Into A Movie. Sometimes People Love The Book So Much That No Adaptation Lives Up To What They Imagined. You Can Avoid That Disappointment By Never, Ever Reading Books.

-Craig Ferguson

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It's Tricky Turning A

Craig Ferguson

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It's Tricky Turning A Book Into A Movie. Sometimes People Love The Book So Much That No Adaptation Lives Up To What They Imagined. You Can Avoid That Disappointment By Never, Ever Reading Books.

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Anyone Who's Just Driven 90 Yards Against Huge Men Trying To Kill Them Has Earned The Right To Do Jazz Hands.

I Don't Just Like Sexual Double Entendres I Love Them, I Stroke Them, I Milk Them, I Spank Them When They're Naughty.

Harry Potter, He Sends A Message On Owl Mail While Us Poor Old Muggles Have To Make Do With Instantaneous Emails And Texting. Oh, If Only We Could Be Like You Harry Potter, With Your Four Day Owl Delivery!

Canada Is Not The Party. Its The Apartment Above The Party.

Fat Is Where Comedy Is Stored.

Oh Satan You're A Wily One.

The Universe Is Very, Very Big.

Appear Tougher Or Cooler Or Funnier Than You Feel And There Is A Chance You'll Make It.

Bush's Memoir Is 512 Pages. To Be Fair, 200 Of Those Pages Are Just Games And Puzzles.

President Obama Announced His Re-election Campaign, Though It’s Not Really A Surprise. He Did All The Things That Make It Official: He Filed The Paperwork, Redesigned His Website, And Printed Another Fake Birth Certificate.

I'm Crazy. I Know I'm Crazy 'cause Desmond Tutu Told Me, And He's Very Clever. He Said, 'you Must Free Yourself, Be More Of Who You Are. Be More Crazy.' And I'm Going To.

He Was In Awe Of The Thirst That People Had For Someone To Tell Them That Everything Was Going To Be All Right. He Marveled At The Gullibility And Vulnerability Of His Fellow Humans. No Wonder The Churches Called Them Sheep. They Were Woolly-headed Pack Animals Being Herded Around For The Benefit Of Whoever Knew How To Control The Dogs.

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William Nicholson

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