Background Image
...
Is World Peace Possible Or Is The Human Race Too Innately Aggressive? For Instance: Have You Ever Seen Women At A Sample Sale?
-Woody Allen
...
Please Wait....
Translating....

Is World Peace Possible

Woody Allen
...
Is World Peace Possible Or Is The Human Race Too Innately Aggressive? For Instance: Have You Ever Seen Women At A Sample Sale?

Understanding the Quote: "is world peace possible or is the human race too innately aggressive?..."

This quote by Woody Allen reflects deeply on the theme of race. It connects to the universal human journey of purpose, motivation, and reflection. Often categorized under Race, World, Aggressive, the quote offers insight, emotional clarity, and intellectual inspiration to readers worldwide.

Whether you’re a student exploring new ideas, a leader trying to motivate your team, or someone seeking direction in life — this quote provides value. It resonates because it’s more than words — it’s a bridge between experience and wisdom. It shows how Woody Allen interprets life's core challenges and triumphs.

Lessons From the Quote

This quote teaches resilience and focus. It reminds readers that no matter where they stand in life, reflection and self-awareness lead to growth. Each word has meaning, and when studied, it becomes clear how impactful thoughtful language can be.

About Woody Allen

Woody Allen is celebrated for insightful thoughts on race and world. Their legacy lives on through writings that guide, comfort, and inspire. Discover more on their profile page.

Actionable Takeaways

  • Reflect on how this quote applies to your current life path.
  • Share the message with someone who needs inspiration.
  • Write your thoughts on this quote in a journal or blog post.
  • Use it as a daily affirmation or reminder.

Closing Thoughts

Quotes like this endure because they capture universal truths. They comfort us in solitude and empower us in groups. Carry this quote forward — live by its wisdom, share its message, and keep its essence alive.

Views: 49203
Topic
Race
World
Aggressive
More From Woody Allen
How Am I Immature? Intellectually, Emotionally, And Sexually. Yeah, But In What Other Ways?
Immature
Way
Yeah
If You Aren't Failing, You Aren't Trying.
Trying
Failing
Ifs
I Have A Great Admiration For English Actors And Actresses And Have Used Them At Every Opportunity Over The Years, But Now I Won't Have To Import Them To New York.
New York
Opportunity
Years
The Only Thing Standing Between Me And Greatness Is Me.
Witty
Humorous
Greatness
The Lion And The Calf Shall Lie Down Together But The Calf Won't Get Much Sleep.
Funny
Marriage
Lying
I Am Thankful For Laughter, Except When Milk Comes Out Of My Nose.
Funny
Life
Thankful
There's A Tacit Agreement Between Myself And The Audience That I Will Entertain Them When They Buy Their Ticket, And I've Been The One That Has Screwed That Up. Once In While I Indulge Myself And Try Something Else, And I Keep My Fingers Crossed That It Will Come Out Good And There'll Be Enough People Who Will Enjoy It, But That Doesn't Often Happen.
Agreement
People
Trying
When I Was Born My Mother Was Terribly Disappointed. Not That She Wanted A Girl - She Wanted A Divorce.
Girl
Mother
Divorce
When We Played Softball, I'd Steal Second Base, Feel Guilty And Go Back.
Funny
Softball
Baseball
When You Write The Script, You're Home In A Room By Yourself, And You're Writing, And There's No Connection With The Real Performing World. So You Get A Lot Of Things Wrong And Make A Lot Of Mistakes And Make A Lot Of Bad Choices.
Real
Mistake
Home
Change Is Almost Always Negative. Things Degenerate.
Negative
Degenerates
The French Make Two Mistakes About Me. They Think I'm An Intellectual Because I Wear These Glasses And They Think I'm An Artist Because My Films Lose Money.
Artist
Glasses
Years
In The Event Of War, I'm A Hostage.
War
Events
Hostage
For Some Reason I've Always Had An Irrational Love For New York. There's No Reason That You Would Necessarily Like It On Paper. It's Very Expensive.
New York
Paper
Reason
If The [actors] Are Working, And I Have A Dinner Engagement, I Don't Do 20 Takes. I Do Five Takes And Go Home. I Want To Go To Dinner.
Home
Actors
Engagement
I Think You Should Defend To The Death Their Right To March, And Then Go Down And Meet Them With Baseball Bats. (on The Kkk)
Baseball
Thinking
Kkk
Abysmal Vermin That I Am, I Couldn't Of Course Tell Her That It Was Her Incredible Mother That I Wanted To See Again… I Knew Only As I Drove Through The Cold, Night Autumn Air That Somewhere Freud, Sophocles And Eugene O’neill Were Laughing.
Mother
Autumn
Night
Show Business Is Dog Eat Dog. It's Worse Than Dog Eat Dog. It's Dog Doesn't Return Dog's Phone Calls.
Dog
Phones
Return
There Is An Advantage In Having A Routine And Working With The Same People When You Can And In Writing As A Regular Thing And Filming As A Regular Thing. That Routine Pays Off For You. You Get A Lot Of Productivity That Way, Rather Than Sitting Around Waiting For Inspiration And Waiting For The Perfect Thing To Happen. I Would Be Much Less Productive That Way.
Inspiration
Writing
People
Standard Mathematics Has Recently Been Rendered Obsolete By The Discovery That For Years We Have Been Writing The Numeral Five Backward. This Has Led To Reevaluation Of Counting As A Method Of Getting From One To Ten. Students Are Taught Advanced Concepts Of Boolean Algebra, And Formerly Unsolvable Equations Are Dealt With By Threats Of Reprisals.
Education
Writing
Science
You Know How You're Always Trying To Get Things To Come Out Perfect In Art Because It's Real Difficult In Life
Art
Real
Always Trying
I've Never Been Satisfied Or Even Pleased With A Film That I've Done. I Make Them, I'm Finished, I've Never Looked At One After. I Don't Like Them Because There's A Big Gap Between What You Conceive In Your Mind When You're Writing And You Don't Have To Meet The Test Of Reality. You're Home, You Write And It's Funny And Beautiful And Romantic And Dramatic, And Then You Have To Show Up On A Cold Morning, And You Don't Have Enough Of This And This Goes Wrong And You Make The Wrong Choice On Something And You Screwed Up And You Can't Go Back.
Beautiful
Morning
Home
I Work All The Time Because It's A Great Distraction And It Keeps Me From Sitting Home And Obsessing Morbidly.
Home
Sitting
Distraction
A Stockbroker Is Someone Who Invests Other People's Money Until It Is All Gone.
People
Gone
Stockbrokers
The Heart Wants What It Wants. There's No Logic To These Things. You Meet Someone And You Fall In Love And That's That.
Love
Fall
Heart
There Is Always The Possibility That People Will Change. Real Change Is More Rare. You Are Who You Are At A Certain Age In Life You Are Pretty Much A Variation Of That Your Whole Life. It's Conceivable That You Will Change But It's Not Likely.
Real
People
Age
I'm Sure There Are People In Hollywood, Whose Main Drive In Film Is To Make Money, Who Will Feel That Any Use Of The Word Hijacking Or Any Reference To Anything Violent Or Remotely Associated With The Terrible Tragedy That Occurred Will Lose Customers For Them. And That Will Be The Only Criterion That Will Matter And So They'll Force The Minions That Work For Them To Remove These Things From Their Movies, Or Not Make Movies About That Subject.
People
Tragedy
Hollywood
All The Crap They Tell You About... Getting Joy And Having A Kind Of Wisdom In Your Golden Years - It's All Tripe.
Years
Joy
Golden
Hey Listen -- I've Proved A Lot Of Things. That's How I Pay My Rent. Theories And Little Observations. A Puckish Remark Now And Then. Occasional Maxims. It Beats Picking Olives, But Let's Not Get Carried Away.
Hey
Littles
Pay
What Was The Scandal? I Fell In Love With This Girl, Married Her. We Have Been Married For Almost 15 Years Now.
Girl
Years
Scandal
My Relationship With Death Remains The Same - I'm Strongly Against It.
Remains
Sentence Structure Is Innate, But Whining Is Acquired.
Writing
Editing
Whining
See, I Will Always Have This Penchant For What I Call Kamikaze Women. I Call Them Kamikazes Because They, You Know They Crash Their Plane, They're Self-destructive. But They Crash Into You, And You Die Along With Them.
Women
Self
Crash
It Is Clear The Future Holds Great Opportunities. It Also Holds Pitfalls. The Trick Will Be To Avoid The Pitfalls, Seize The Opportunities, And Get Back Home By Six O'clock.
Life
Graduation
Home
[an Audience Conditioned By A Lifetime Of Television-watching Is So Corrupted That] Their Standards Have Been Systematically Lowered Over The Years. These Guys Sit In Front Of Their Sets And The Gamma Rays Eat The White Cells Of Their Brains Out!
Television Watching
Cells
Years
And In All Of Babylonia There Was Wailing And Gnashing Of Teeth, 'til The Prophets Bade The Multitudes Get A Grip On Themselves And Shape Up.
Teeth
Shapes
Prophet
The Meaning Of Life Is That Nobody Knows The Meaning Of Life.
Meaning Of Life
Life Is
Human Nature
Anything Worth Knowing Cannot Be Understood By The Human Mind.
Knowing
Mind
Humans
Those Modern Analysts, They Charge So Much! In My Day, For Five Marks Freud Himself Would Treat You. For Ten Marks He Would Treat You And Press Your Pants. For Fifteen Marks Freud Would Let You Treat Him - That Included A Choice Of Any Two Vegetables.
Vegetables
Two
Choices
The Food Here Is Terrible, And The Portions Are Too Small.
Food
Terrible
Portions
Sex Is Like Having Dinner: Sometimes You Joke About The Dishes, Sometimes You Take The Meal Seriously.
Sex
Dinner
Meals
I Think That The Tendency For Most People Is To Fall Back On A Comic Interpretation Of Things Because Things Are So Sad, So Terrible. If You Didn't Laugh You'd Kill Yourself. But The Truth Of The Matter Is That Existence In General Is Very Very Tragic, Very Very Sad, Very Brutal And Very Unhappy.
Laughter
Fall
Thinking
I Was Thrown Out Of College For Cheating On The Metaphysics Exam; I Looked Into The Soul Of The Boy Sitting Next To Me.
Inspirational
Funny
Witty
I Feel Humor Is Important For Those Two Reasons: That It Is A Little Bit Of Refreshment Like Music, And That Women Have Told Me Over The Years That It Is Very, Very Important To Them.
Years
Two
Important
My Parents Were Very Old World. They Come From Brooklyn, Which Is The Heart Of The Old World. Their Values In Life Are God And Carpeting.
Heart
Parent
Identity
Is Old Age Really So Terrible? Not If You've Brushed Your Teeth Faithfully.
Maturity
Age
Teeth
I Feel About New York As A Child Whose Father Is A Bank Robber. Not Perfect, But I Still Love Him.
New York
Children
Father
Whosoever Loveth Wisdom Is Righteous, But He That Keepeth Company With Fowl Is Weird.
Love
Wisdom
Fowl
As The Author You Know How You Want It To Appear On Screen And It's Always The Content Dictating The Form.
Want
Form
Know How
I Consider Myself A Completely Lucky Filmmaker. I've Had Nothing But Good Luck. Everything I've Needed Has Come My Way.
Good Luck
Lucky
Way
It Is No Secret That Organized Crime In America Takes In Over Forty Billion Dollars A Year. This Is Quite A Profitable Sum, Especially When One Considers That The Mafia Spends Very Little For Office Supplies.
Sarcastic
Sarcasm
Years
It Is Impossible To Travel Faster Than Light, And Certainly Not Desirable, As One’s Hat Keeps Blowing Off.
Funny
Humorous
Science
Some Drink Deeply From The River Of Knowledge. Others Only Gargle.
Knowledge
Rivers
Stupidity
It's A Wonderful Thing To Be Able To Create Your Own World Whenever You Want To. Writing Is Very Pleasurable, Very Seductive, And Very Therapeutic. Time Passes Very Fast When I'm Writing-really Fast. I'm Puzzling Over Something, And Time Just Flies By. It's An Exhilarating Feeling. How Bad Can It Be? It's Sitting Alone With Fictional Characters. You're Escaping From The World In Your Own Way And That's Fine. Why Not?
Character
Writing
Exhilarating Feeling
When A Man Is Driving In A Car And Looks Out The Window And Notices A Woman With A Great Body, As He Strains To Check Her Face Out, How Does She Know To Keep Turning So The Back Of Her Head Is Always Toward Him?
Men
Car
Doe
There's No Point In Looking Back, Because There's Nothing You Can Really Do To Improve The Film. You Can Only Aggravate And Wish You Had Done Stuff Better.
Wish
Done
Film
I Read In Self-defense.
Self
Defense
Self Defense
Over The Years I've Never Written Or Made Movies About Political Themes 'cause While They Do Have Current Critical Importance, In The Large, Large Scheme Of Things, Only The Big Questions Matter And The Answers To Those Big Questions Are Very, Very Depressing.
Depressing
Years
Political
It Is Impossible To Experience One's Death Objectively And Still Carry A Tune.
Funny
Death
Humor
Honey, There's A Spider In Your Bathroom The Size Of A Buick.
Annie Hall
Spiders
Honey
I'm Generally Not A Social Dramatist Or Comedy Writer. My Interests Have Always Been More In Psychological Stories Or Personal Relations And Comic Ideas.
Ideas
Stories
Comedy
Maybe The Poets Are Right. Maybe Love Is The Only Answer.
Love Is
Answers
Poet
It's Very Hard To Keep Your Spirits Up. You've Got To Keep Selling Yourself A Bill Of Goods, And Some People Are Better At Lying To Themselves Than Others. If You Face Reality Too Much, It Kills You.... You've Got To Find An Answer To The Question: Why Go On?
Lying
Reality
People
To Me Nature Is... Spiders And Bugs, And Big Fish Eating Little Fish, And Plants Eating Plans, And Animals Eating... It's Like An Enormous Restaurant, That's The Way I See It.
Animal
Big Fish
Littles
I Carry A Bullet In My Breast Pocket. Once, A Crazy Evangelist Threw A Bible At Me, Which Would Have Gone Through My Heart If It Wasn't For The Bullet.
Crazy
Heart
Pockets
She Wore A Short Skirt And A Tight Sweater And Her Figure Described A Set Of Parabolas That Could Cause Cardiac Arrest In A Yak.
Maturity
Sweaters
Causes
Money Is Not Everything, But It Is Better Than Having One's Health.
Money
Basically My Wife Was Immature. I'd Be At Home In The Bath And She'd Come In And Sink My Boats.
Inspirational
Funny
Life
Am I My Brother's Keeper? Yes. Interestingly, In My Case, I Share That Honor With The Prospect Park Zoo.
Brother
Zoos
Honor
Most Of The Time I Don't Have Much Fun. The Rest Of The Time I Don't Have Any Fun At All.
Sarcastic
Time
Fun
You Can Be With Your Wife, Very Happily Married, And Then You Meet Some Woman And You Love Her. But You Love Your Wife, Too. And You Also Love That One. Or If She's Met Some Man And She Loves The Man And She Loves You. And Then You Meet Somebody Else And Now There Are Three Of You. Why Only One Person?
Love You
Men
Wife
Dear Mom And Dad, Leave $50,000 In A Bag Under The Bridge On Decatur Street. If There Is No Bridge On Decatur Street, Please Build One.
Mom
Children
Dad
I Don't Know What The Hell I'm Doing Here. I'm 237 Years Old, I Should Be Collecting Social Security.
Years
Hell
Social
Life Is A Concentration Camp. You're Stuck Here And There's No Way Out And You Can Only Rage Impotently Against Your Persecutors.
Here And There
Way
Life Is
I'm Trying To Arrange My Life So I Don't Have To Be Present.
Trying
Spencer Was Searching For A Woman Interested In Gold, Inorganic Chemistry, Outdoor Sex And The Music Of Bach. In Short, He Was Looking For Himself, Only Female.
Sex
Gold
Female
The Great Roe Is A Mythological Beast With The Head Of A Lion And The Body Of A Lion, Though Not The Same Lion.
Excellence
Body
Lions
People Still Have Existential Anxiety. It Just May Not Be Expressed In Hebraic Idiom.
People
Anxiety
May
If You Pursue The Other Woman, It's A Losing Situation And It's Not Good For Your Relationship Or Your Marriage. If Your Marriage Is Open And You're Allowed To, That's No Good Either. There's No Way, Really In The End, To Be Happy Unless You Get Very Lucky.
Way
Lucky
Losing
Life's Hard, Then You Die.
Life Is Hard
Cans Of Worms
Meaningful Death
You Mellow Too Much You Ripen And Rot.
Maturity
Too Much
Mellow
I Am Two With Nature.
Two
There Are Drawbacks In Being Famous Too, But You Can Live With Those. They're Not Life-threatening. If The Paparazzi Are Outside Your Restaurant Or Your House - And Actors Make Such A Big Thing Of It And Scurry Into Cars And Drape Things - You Think They're Going To Be Crucified Or Something. It's Not A Big Deal. You Can Get Used To That. It's Not So Terrible.
Thinking
Car
House
I Always Thought That As Long As Man Is Mortal, He Will Never Be Relaxed.
Men
Long
Relaxed
When The Academy Called, I Panicked. I Thought They Might Want Their Oscars Back And The Pawn Shop Has Been Out Of Business For A While.
Business
Want
Oscars
Eternal Nothingness Is Fine If You Happen To Be Dressed For It.
Death
Witty
Humorous
Is Sex Dirty? Only If It's Done Right.
Funny
Sex
Humorous
I Don't Get Depressed; I Grow A Tumor Instead.
Grows
Tumors
Child Molestation Is A Touchy Subject... Read The Papers! Half The Country's Doing It!
Country
Children
Half
I Spend A Lot Of Time Idly. I Go To Sporting Events, Play My Clarinet. I Practise. But If You Work Every Day, A Certain Amount On A Steady Basis, The Work Accumulates.
Work
Play
Events
Of All Human Weakness Obsession Is The Most Dangerous. And The Silliest.
Weakness
Obsession
Dangerous
You'll Live To Be A Hundred If You Give Up All The Things That Make You Want To.
Funny
Birthday
Witty
Magic Has Always Been Of A Great Interest Of Mine. I Was An Amateur Magician When I Was Young. I Used To Practice And Read Up On It A Lot. I'm Well-aware Of The History Of Magic.
Practice
Magic
Used
Some Women Feel Power Is Important, Some Women Feel That Looks Are Important, Tenderness, Intelligence...but Sense Of Humor Seems To Permeate All Of Them.
Important
Sense Of Humor
Tenderness
You Rely Too Much On Brain. The Brain Is The Most Overrated Organ.
Witty
Humorous
Brain
My Films Are A Form Of Psychoanalysis, Except That It Is I Who Am Paid, Which Changes Everything.
Change
Film
Form
I Can't Express Anger. I Grow A Tumor Instead.
Grows
Expressing Anger
I Can
There Are Worse Things Than Death. Many Of Them Playing At A Theater Near You.
Theater
Not Only Is There No God, But Try Finding A Plumber On Sunday.
Inspirational
Funny
God
I Idolized Superman When I Was Younger. I Thought He And I Had A Lot In Common. He Was Always Going Into Phonebooths And Taking Off All His Clothes.
Clothes
Common
Idolized
I Believe In Sex And Death- Two Experiences That Come Once In A Lifetime.
Sex
Believe
Two
I Always Write The Same Way. I Always Write With A Yellow Pad And A Ballpoint Pen On My Bed. And Then I Go And Type It Up Afterwards. I've Always Done That. Those Things Become Habitual.
Writing
Yellow
Bed
If I Just Got Up In The Morning And Had No Place To Go And Was Retired Or Something, I Would Be Sitting There And Be Thinking, "gee, What Is The Purpose Of Life? Why Are We All Finite? Why Do We Get Old And Die? Is There Nothing Out There? Why Is It So Tragic? Why Do Our Loved Ones Perish? Why Do We Generate?" Who Wants To Think About That Stuff?
Morning
Thinking
Would Be
I Keep Wondering If There Is An Afterlife, And If There Is Will They Be Able To Break A Twenty?
Afterlife
Twenties
Able
Human Existence Is A Brutal Experience To Me... It's A Brutal, Meaningless Experience - An Agonizing, Meaningless Experience With Some Oases, Delight, Some Charm And Peace, But These Are Just Small Oases. Overall, It Is A Brutal, Terrible Experience, And So It Salvation Is What Can You Do To Alleviate The Agony Of The Human Condition, The Human Predicament? That Is What Interests Me The Most.
Agony
Oasis
Agonizing
That’s One Of The Nice Things About Writing, Or Any Art; If The Thing’s Real, It Just Lives.
Art
Real
Nice
I'm Short Enough And Ugly Enough To Succeed On My Own.
Witty
Humorous
Ugly
Side Effects Not Only Is There No God, But Try Getting A Plumber On The Weekend. Woody Allen Sex Alleviates Tension. Love Causes It.
Sex
Weekend
Trying
Life Is Full Of Moments That Are Good - Winning A Lottery, Seeing A Beautiful Woman, A Great Dinner - But The Whole Thing Is Tragic. It's An Oasis That Is Very Pleasant.
Beautiful
Winning
Oasis
Subjectivity Is Objective.
Subjectivity
Objectives
... Years Of Insanity Have Made This Guy Crazy!
Funny
Crazy
Humor
Isn't All Mankind Ultimately Executed For A Crime It Never Committed?
Crime
Capital Punishment
Mankind
Someday The Lion Is Going To Lie Down With The Lamb, But The Lamb Isn't Going To Get Much Sleep.
Lying
Sleep
Lambs
For Some Reason It Gives People Pleasure To Equate The Life Of Certain Movie Actors Or Actresses With Their Actual Lives.
People
Giving
Actors
I Want To Return To The Womb, Anyone's.
Want
Return
Womb
I Had An Iq Test. The Results Came Back Negative.
God
Stupidity
Negative
I've Gained No Wisdom, No Insight, No Mellowing. I Would Make All The Same Mistakes Again, Today.
Mistake
Today
Same Mistakes
When You Are Dead, It Is Hard To Find The Light Switch.
Light
Hard
I Could Turn On My Radio In The Morning When I Was Getting Dressed For School And Hear Frank Sinatra And Duke Ellington And Benny Goodman And Think This Is The Music. Now That Music Is Art. Ellington Is Art. At That Time It Was Just What You Heard On The Radio. Cole Porter Was Just A Guy Who Wrote Pretty Songs And Billie Holliday Would Sing Them.
Song
Art
Morning
My Success Has Allowed Me To Strike Out With A Higher Class Of Women.
Funny
Success
Class
Heaven Knows, We All Make Mistakes. That's Life - And Chess.
Mistake
Heaven
Chess
At The Trial Stubbs Chose To Act As His Own Lawyer, But A Conflict Over His Fee Led To Ill Feelings.
Funny
Humorous
Feelings
Should I Marry W.? Not If She Won't Tell Me The Other Letters In Her Name.
Funny
Humorous
Names
Life Is Like A Concentration Camp... You Can't Leave Without Dying.
Dying
Life Is Like
Concentration
Men Learn To Love The Woman They Are Attracted To. Women Learn To Become Attracted To The Man They Fall In Love With.
Witty
Falling In Love
Humorous
[stanley] Kubrick Was A Great Artist And A Perfectionist. He Always Wanted The Exact Right Thing. He Did A Million Takes. Everything Had To Be Perfect. I'm An Imperfectionist. I Don't Really Care That Much About The Work. I Write Quickly. I'm Careless. I Shoot Carelessly.
Writing
Artist
Perfect
In Every Generation There Are A Few People Who Are Authentically Funny. The Cosmetics Change. You May Not Be Able To Articulate It, And You May Laugh At Them And Get A Certain Amount Of Enjoyment. But When You're Asleep At Night, And You Wake Up At 3 In The Morning, And You're Alone In Your Bed, You Know Who's Really Funny.
Morning
Night
Laughing
I'm Very Old-fashioned. I Believe That People Should Stay Married For Life, Like Pigeons And Catholics.
Marriage
Believe
People
Paris Is A Very Exciting City. I Learned About Paris The Same Way That Americans Do: From The Movies.
Cities
Paris
Way
I Did Not Marry The First Girl That I Fell In Love With, Because There Was A Tremendous Religious Conflict, At The Time. She Was An Atheist, And I Was An Agnostic.
Girl
Witty
Religious
I Think A Relationship Is Like A Shark. It Has To Constantly Move Forward Or It Dies.
Relationship
Moving
Thinking
A Tree Never Hits An Automobile Except In Self Defense.
Self
Tree
Defense
What If The Worst Is True? What If There's No God, And You Only Go Around Once, And That's It? Don't You Want To Be A Part Of The Experience? You Know, What The Hell? It's Not All A Drag, And I'm Thinking To Myself: Geez! I Should Stop Ruining My Life Searching For Answers I'm Never Gonna Get And Just Enjoy It While It Lasts. And, You Know, After-who Knows? Maybe There Is Something, Nobody Really Knows. I Know That Maybe Is A Very Slim Reed To Hang Your Whole Life On, But That's The Best We Have.
Witty
Humorous
Thinking
No, No, I'm A Lowbrow. I Read [dostoevsky] More Out Of Obligation Than Enjoyment. For Enjoyment, For Me, It's A Beer And The Football Game.
Football
Beer
Games
I Keep Getting More And More Ambitious. Over The Years, To Some Degree, In Some Areas, I Feel I've Grown. In Some Areas, I Made A Fool Of Myself. In Some Areas, I Think I Can Still Do Some Funny Things.
Thinking
Years
Funny Things
When I Was Young, I Wanted To Be A Dramatic Writer, A Writer Of Tragedy. Nothing Would've Pleased Me More Than If I Could Have Written Like Eugene O'neil Or Tennessee Williams.
Tragedy
Tennessee
Dramatic
I'm Twelve Years Old. I Run Into A Synagogue. I Ask The Rabbi The Meaning Of Life. He Tells Me The Meaning Of Life But He Tells It To Me In Hebrew. I Don't Understand Hebrew. Then He Wants To Charge Me $600 For Hebrew Lessons.
Running
Years
Want
Throughout History In The Theater And Film People Do Like Sarcastic Characters, And They Do Like Curmudgeons - If They're Amusing, They Do Like Them Despite The Fact That They're Vitriolic, Particularly If They're For The Right Thing. If You Can See That The Person Is A Decent Person And Is For The Right Thing, And Is Not Just A Nasty Person With Base Motives, But Someone Who Is A Decent Human But Expresses Himself.
Sarcastic
Character
People
I Don't Mind Dying... As Long As I Don't Have To Be There When It Happens.
Long
Mind
Dying
I Prefer To Achieve Immortality By Not Dying.
Dying
Immortality
Achieve
I Hate The Beach. I Hate The Sun. I'm Pale And I'm Redheaded. I Don't Tan - I Stroke!
Beach
Hate
Sun
"boy, The Food At This Place Is Really Terrible." The Other One Says, "yeah, I Know; And Such Small Portions." Well, That's Essentially How I Feel About Life - Full Of Loneliness, And Misery, And Suffering, And Unhappiness, And It's All Over Much Too Quickly.
Terrible
Portions
Feels
[...] I've Come To The Conclusion That The Artist Can Not Justify Life Or Come Up With A Cogent Reason As To Why Life Is Meaningful, But The Artist Can Provide You With A Cold Glass Of Water On A Hot Day.
Meaningful
Artist
Glasses
Life Is Hard For Insects. And Don't Think Mice Are Having Any Fun Either.
Life
Fun
Science
Every Success Is Built On The Ability To Do Better Than Good Enough. As You Climb The Ladder Of Success, Be Sure It's Leaning Against The Right Building. Eighty Percent Of Success Is Showing Up.
Ladders
Showing Up
Enough
Life Is Divided Into The Horrible And The Miserable.
Funny
Life
Humor
A Man That Has Never Lied To A Woman Has No Respect For Her Feelings.
Men
Feelings
No Respect
Remember, If You Smoke After Sex You're Doing It Too Fast.
Funny
Anniversary
Sex
Drama, It Would Be As If You Wrote Some Poetry. You'd Run The Risk Of Being Embarrassed If People Read It, Because You're Pouring Your Heart Out And You're Not Mitigating It With Any Humor Or Anything.
Running
Drama
Heart
I Don't Believe In An Afterlife, But I'm Taking An Extra Pair Of Underwear Just In Case.
Funny
Believe
Afterlife
Those Who Can't Do, Teach. And Those Who Can't Teach, Teach Gym.
Witty
Humorous
Annie Hall
It Seemed The World Was Divided Into Good And Bad People. The Good Ones Slept Better While The Bad Ones Seemed To Enjoy The Waking Hours Much More.
Funny
Book
Humor
I'd Like To Make A Great Movie. I've Made Many Movies. I Think I've Made Some Good Movies, But I Never Felt I've Made A Great Movie.
Thinking
Good Movie
Made
I Feel That Humor, Just Like Fred Astaire Dance Numbers Or These Lightweight Musicals, Gives You A Little Oasis. You Are In This Horrible World And For An Hour And A Half You Duck Into A Dark Room And It's Air-conditioned And The Sun Is Not Blinding You And You Leave The Terror Of The Universe Behind And You Are Completely Transported Into An Escapist Situation. The Women Are Beautiful, The Men Are Witty And Heroic, Nobody Has Terrible Problems And This Is A Delightful Escapist Thing, And You Leave The Theater Refreshed.
Beautiful
Witty
Dark
People Always Ask Me, Do You Ever Think You'll Wake Up One Morning And Not Be Funny? That Thought Would Never Occur To Me--it's An Odd Thought And Not Realistic. Because Funny And Me Are Not Separate. We're One.
Morning
Thinking
People
I See The Glass Half Full...but Of Poison.
Glasses
Poison
Half
I Don't Fear Death. - I Just Don't Want To Be Around When It Happens.
Want
Fear Of Death
Happens
I've Always Believed That Thoughtful People Don't Really Take The Tabloids Seriously. They're Basically A Form Of Entertainment. I Enjoy Them As Much As The Next New Yorker.
Thoughtful
People
Tabloids
You Can't Control Life. It Doesn't Wind Up Perfectly. Only-only Art You Can Control. Art And Masturbation. Two Areas In Which I Am An Absolute Expert.
Art
Wind
Two
All People Know The Same Truth. Our Lives Consist Of How We Choose To Distort It.
Inspiring
Witty
Funny Inspirational
I Should Go To Paris And Jump Off Of The Eiffel Tower. If I Took The Concorde, I Could Be Dead Three Hours Earlier.
Witty
Humorous
Paris
Dying Is Like Making Love, Except You Don't Get Naseous Afterwards.
Making Love
Dying
Death Is An Acquired Trait.
Funny
Death
Humor
I Don't Know Enough To Be Incompetent.
Enough
Incompetent
Knows
If 90% Of Success In Life Is Showing Up, The Other 10% Depends On What You're Showing Up For.
Goal
Showing Up
Life Is
His Lack Of Education Is More Than Compensated For By His Keenly Developed Moral Bankruptcy.
Education
Book
Beer
There Is No Question That There Is An Unseen World. The Problem Is, How Far Is It From Midtown And How Late Is It Open?
Witty
New York
Humorous
You'll Find As You Go Through Life That Great Depth And Smoldering Sensuality Don't Always Win.
Winning
Depth
Sensuality
Years Ago I Was On Television Having A Discussion With Billy Graham About Atheism. He Was Saying, Even If You're Right And I'm Wrong, And There's Nothing After, I Will Have Had A Better Life Than You, Because I Do Believe There Was Something. And I Couldn't Argue With That, Even Though I Wanted To.
Believe
Years
Atheism
My Grandfather Had A Wonderful Funeral... On The Buffet Table There Was A Replica Of The Deceased In Potato Salad.
Food
Funeral
Cooking
More Than Any Other Time In History, Mankind Faces A Crossroads. One Path Leads To Despair And Utter Hopelessness. The Other, To Total Extinction. Let Us Pray We Have The Wisdom To Choose Correctly.
Inspirational
Inspiring
Hope
Bisexuality Immediately Doubles Your Chances For A Date On Saturday Night.
Funny
Hilarious
Sexy
In Short, The Best Thing To Do Is Behave In A Manner Befitting One's Age. If You Are Sixteen Or Under, Try Not To Go Bald.
Age
Trying
Sixteen
I Sold My Memoirs Of My Love Life To Parker Brothers And They Are Going To Make A Game Out Of It.
Funny
Brother
Love Life
I Was A Smart Kid And I Was Not Understood By My Parents.
Smart
Kids
Parent
I Don't Like To Meet The Actor And Have A Lot Of Conferences And Talk About Their Sub-life And Their Off-screen Life And Their Back Stories And All That Nonsense, Because It Never Means Anything.
Mean
Stories
Actors
My Luck Is Getting Worse And Worse. Last Night, For Instance, I Was Mugged By A Quaker.
Funny
Humor
Night
I Never Have An Alter Ego In The Movies. That's A Fiction That The Press Has Made Up Over The Years, And It's Fun To Write That. It Gives Them Something To Write.
Fun
Writing
Years
I Loathed Every Day And Regret Every Moment I Spent In A School.
Regret
Educational
School
I Love Baseball. You Know, It Doesn’t Have To Mean Anything. It’s Just Very Beautiful To Watch.
Beautiful
Baseball
Mean
People Ask Me Whether I Think That One Day I Might Wake Up One Morning And Run Dry, But I've Had The Opposite Feeling - That I Would Die Before I Had Time To Write All The Ideas In My Drawer.
Running
Morning
Writing
If My Soul Exists Without My Body I Am Convinced All My Clothes Will Be Loose-fitting
Clothes
Soul
Body
Notes For A Ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund Hears The Flutter Of Wings, And A Group Of Wild Swans Flies Across The Moon ... Sigmund Is Astounded To See That Their Leader Is Part Swan And Part Woman - Unfortunately, Divided Lengthwise. She Enchants Sigmund, Who Is Careful Not To Make Any Poultry Jokes.
Humorous
Moon
Swans
I'm So Excited-i Think Today I'm Going To Brush All My Teeth.
Thinking
Teeth
Today
I Hate Reality But It's Still The Best Place To Get A Good Steak.
Witty
Funny Life
Hate
All Literature Is A Footnote To Faust. I Have No Idea What I Mean By That.
Mean
Ideas
Literature
It Figures You've Got To Hate Yourself If You've Got Any Integrity At All.
Hate
Integrity
Figures
I Took A Speed-reading Course And Read War And Peace In Twenty Minutes. It Involves Russia.
Funny
War
Book
If You're Born With A Gift, To Behave Like It's An Achievement Is Not Right.
Achievement
Born
Behave
The Artist's Job Is Not To Succumb To Despair But To Find An Antidote For The Emptiness Of Existence.
Witty
Art
Jobs
Me And Nature Are Two.
Two
Environmental
In A Relationship, It Is Better To Be The Leaver Than The Leavee.
Leavers
I'm Not A Drinker, My Body Won't Tolerate...eh...spirits, Really. I Had Two Martinis New Years Eve And I Tried To Hi-jack An Elevator And Fly It To Cuba.
Funny
New Year
Witty
The Less I Speak To The Actors, The Better. And I Always Hire Great People, And I Don't Want To Impose My Pre-conceived Notions On Them. They Know How To Play It.
Play
People
Actors
Relationships Are Really What Interest Me The Most. And I Think, In The End, They Interest Most People The Most. Even When You Read Tolstoy Or Something, Basically They're About Man And Woman Relationships.
Men
Thinking
People
Problems Are Like Toilet Paper. You Pull On One And Ten More Come.
Paper
Toilets
Problem
I've Inherited The Worst Of Each Parent. I Have My Father's Hypochondria And Lack Of Concentration. I Have His Amorality. I Have Everything Bad That He Had. Then I Have My Mother's Surly, Pill-like, Complaining, Whining Attitude.
Mother
Attitude
Father
Students Achieving Oneness Will Move On To Twoness.
Moving
Book
Beer
He Was So Depressed, He Tried To Commit Suicide By Inhaling Next To An Armenian.
Funny
Suicide
Humor
Since I Was A Kid, I Could Make Up Stories, I Could Make Up Funny Jokes And I Could Always Do It. When I'm Walking Down The Street Or Having Dinner, Ideas Will Hit Me, And I Write Them Down On Matchbooks Or Napkins And Throw Them In The Draw.
Writing
Kids
Ideas
Trending Author
Anne Baxter
Naveen Jain
Bill Ayers
Jim Davis
Lincoln Chafee
Mike Shinoda
Category
Information