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In The Inner City, There's A Mentality That The Government Owes You Something. My Breakthrough Came When I Stopped Feeling Sorry For Myself And Took Responsibility For Every Part Of My Life. No More Pity Parties. I've Gotta Love Me More Than Anybody Else Loves Me.

-Mary J. Blige

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In The Inner City,

Mary J. Blige

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In The Inner City, There's A Mentality That The Government Owes You Something. My Breakthrough Came When I Stopped Feeling Sorry For Myself And Took Responsibility For Every Part Of My Life. No More Pity Parties. I've Gotta Love Me More Than Anybody Else Loves Me.

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Larry David Makes Me Laugh.

I Like What I See When I'm Looking At Me When I'm Walking Past The Mirror.

I Decided To Start My Own Label Because So Many People With Talent Come To Me Wanting To Know How They Can Get In The Music Business.

I'm My Worst Critic, And I Like The Fact That I Can Listen To Myself Now And Make Fun Of Myself, Listen, Make Changes - 'oh, Man, That's Messed Up. Okay, I Need To Work On That; I Need To Work On This.'

Love Is Wonderful, Amazing, And The Best Thing That Can Happen To Us.

I Wish I Had An Extra Day With My Mom Sometimes. Or Another Hour In The Day With My Family, Husband And Children.

There Are People Out There Who Want To Provoke Me And Bring Back The Old Mary But I'm Not Giving Them The Satisfaction.

My Responsibility To God Is To Live. That's The Gift He Gave Me. What I Do With It Is Up To Me.

I'm A Singer Who Thinks Like A Rapper.

'my Life' Is Not An Autobiography. It's Just Music.

Once You Climb To Another Level, You Have To Figure Out How To Sustain It.

When You Hold On To Anger And Unforgiveness, You Can't Move Forward.

I Believe That Anything Man Himself Can Do For Me, God Can Do For Me In A Greater Way. I Decided To Pray And To Seek God On My Own. I Just Stayed In The Word. And It Worked.

I Do Consider Myself Part Of Black History.

I Grew Up Watching Mtv, When Journey Was Huge, When Pat Benatar Had 'love Is A Battlefield,' And My Friends And I Used To Cut School To Watch This Woman In The Video. We Loved Pat Benatar.

As A Kid, I Dreamed About Being Onstage.

I Don't Think I'll Do Foster Care Or Adopt, To Be Quite Honest.

No One Compares To You. Just Remember That. There's No One Out There - There's Only One Of You, And That's It. And Whatever You Believe About You That's Great, No One Else Has It. And I Can't Look Like You, There's No Way I Can Slip Into Your Body And Be You, And You Can't Slip Into My Body And Be Me. This Is All We're Gonna Get.

It Hurts When You Have To Smile And You Don't Want To Smile, But The Best Thing To Do Is To Smile.

If You're Looking For Inner Peace From The Outside World, You're Not Going To Get That. The Inner Peace Starts With Looking At You From The Inside.

That's The Message I Want To Give To Every Up-and-coming Artist: Do Everything That Is Going To Help You Later. If You Clone Somebody Else, That's All They're Gonna Keep Wanting From You.

As Far As Men Go, They Never Gave Me A Chance To Be Me; They Were Always Scared That Somebody Was Going To Take Me.

I Mean, I Know My Heart Is Not Clean, And Your Heart Is Not Clean, And None Of Our Urban Hearts Are Clean. But You Can Be Washed Again.

I Know Who I Am. I Am Not Perfect. I'm Not The Most Beautiful Woman In The World. But I'm One Of Them.

When You Come From So Many Damaged Places You Don't Ever Want To Spiral Back There, So You Gotta Continue To Check Yourself.

I Never Do Any Album To Beat It. I Do It To Extend It.

I Listen To Gospel Music.

I Still Get Nervous About Singing. I Drink Tea With Honey And Lemon Before Every Concert. And I Need To Have Scented Candles In All Of My Hotel Rooms.

You Have To Have A Plan. Everything Has To Be Planned. For Me, I Start With The Title Of My Album, Before I Even Start With The Songs. I Write Down Different Things That I Want Album To Say, And Then The Songs Come From The Different Words.

My Main Exercise Is Cardio. The Treadmill Is Fine, But Running Outdoors Gives Me The Best Results. I Try To Log 6 To 8 Miles A Week. I Could Be In The Worst Mood, But When I Do My Cardio, I Feel Much, Much Better.

I Can't Just Make A Song People Can Dance In A Club To... It Still Has To Be Real.

My Journey Continues, Because I've, You Know, Conquered A Lot. And I Know How To Conquer The Rest.

You Know A Lot, But You Don't Know Everything.

It Hurts A Lot When You Cannot Really Comprehend What A Person Is Saying In A Meeting, Or You Don't Even Understand What You're Reading In Your Contract.

I Was Inspired To Create 'my Life' So I Could Finally Share A Personal Part Of My Life Beyond My Music.

For The First Time In My Life, I'm Proud Of Myself

I'm From The Element Of The Streets That Says That Once You've Made It, It's Yours. But Keep It To Yourself.

Negative Words Are Powerful Boomerangs So Be Careful What You Say About People And Yourself.

There's So Many Things That Life Is, And No Matter How Many Breakthroughs, Trials Will Exist And We're Going To Get Through It. Just Be Strong.

People In My Neighborhood Inspired Me To Sing. Believe In Your Ability No Matter What, But Be Realistic With Yourself And Your Ability.

As A Kid, I Was In Love With Michael Jackson, And I Just Knew I Was Going To Marry Him Someday.

When Life Is Real, It's Not Going To Be Smooth.

We Are All Spirits. We Get Depressed. But Music Makes You Want To Live. I Know My Music Has Saved My Life.

I Wouldn't Adopt, But What I Will Do Is Give My Time And Go And Try To Be There For People.

You Can Look At My Palm And See The Storm Coming. Read The Book Of My Life And See I've Overcome It.

I Started Speaking About What I Was Dealing With Through My Music, And 4 Million Women Responded And Said, 'us Too, Mary.' And I Didn't Know That Everyone Was Hurting Like I Was Hurting. I Had No Idea.

I Don't Know. Only God Knows Where The Story Ends For Me, But I Know Where The Story Begins. It's Up To Us To Choose, Whether We Win Or Lose And I Choose To Win.

We Are All Just A Work In Progress.

Work In Progress

In Your Life There's Peaks And Valleys And Sometimes We Regress, And We Don't Even Know We Regress. You Just Have To Learn How To Accept All Of Your Mistakes And Learn To Love Yourself Again.

I Have To Have Lemon And Honey. I Have To Have Apple Cider Vinegar, Braggs. And I Have To Have Either Red Vines Or Twizzlers. These Things, You Know, Are The Things That Help My Vocal Performance.

You Can't Get Around Pain And Opposition, But You Can Try To Be Joyful In The Trial, And Thank Yourself For The Trial, And Thank God For The Strength To Get Through It.

My God Is A God Who Wants Me To Have Things. He Wants Me To Bling. He Wants Me To Be The Hottest Thing On The Block.

In The Studio You Can Really Concentrate On Performing The Song Where As On Stage You Also Have To Worry About Connecting With So Many People, They're Definitely Different.

I'm On My Way To A Place Where I'd Never Dreamed I'd Be, And That's Perfection.

I'm Hoping That My Entrepreneurial Side Will Have Me At A Place Where I Don't Have To Do Anything. That's What I'm Striving For.

Entrepreneurial

I'm A Child Of God. God Is My Mommy, My Daddy. That's The Only Thing That'll Keep My Head Up. If I Don't Remember Who I Am In Him, I'm Done.

When I`m Going To Do A Christmas Album I Had To Put My Mind In Christmas Mode. I Had To Go Back To Being A Child And Remembering All Of That. When I Go To Do A Project, I'm Serious About It, So I Wrap My World Around It, And It Becomes Christmastime For Me And I'm Singing Songs Like It's Christmas Day.

When I Was Five Years Old I Was Molested And Just, You Know. I Remember Feeling, Literally Right Before It Happened, I Just Could Not Believe That This Person Was Going To Do This To Me. That Thing Followed Me All My Life. The Shame Of Thinking My Molestation Was My Fault - It Led Me To Believe I Wasn't Worth Anything.

If You're Here Right Now In Your Life, Your Journey Continues And You've Lived To Tell The Story.

You Either Learn From Your Experiences Or Go Back And Do The Same Thing, And I Learned From My Experiences.

It's Up To Us To Choose Whether We Win Or Lose...and I Choose To Win.

Really, Every Woman Is An Example To Me, Because As Women We Go Through So Much Pain. We Have To Live This Perfect Life When We Are Messed Up Inside. We All Go Through Trials And Tribulations.

Everything Is Scary If You Look At It. So You Just Got To Live.

Music Makes Us Want To Live. You Don't Know How Many Times People Have Told Me That They'd Been Down And Depressed And Just Wanted To Die. But Then A Special Song Caught Their Ear And That Helped Give Them Renewed Strength. That's The Power Music Has.

I’ve Done Well, I’ve Been Disappointed, And I Think It All Goes Back To You. Of Course The Labels Are Going To Be The Labels. It’s The Music Business. You Are A Business. That’s What They Do. So You’ve Got To Protect Yourself.

I Used To Think I Was Ugly. I Thought I Looked Like A Camel. A Person Who Doesn't Love Themselves, They Will See Anything That Pops Up On Their Face. I've Seen Squirrels, I've Seen A Bird, And I've Seen All Kinds Of Animals On My Face. But That Is The Result Of Self-hate. I've Learned To Say: 'you Know What? I Am A Beautiful Black Woman'.

Sometimes I Frown And I Don't Realise It.

I Believe There Are Certain Things That God Uses To Get Us Out Of A Bad Situation, And I Believe Music Was One Of The Things He Used For Me.

I Don't Listen To People's Opinions. I Have People Around Me Who I Can Trust, But Most Of All I Listen To Myself.

Life Is Full Of Trials And Tribulations. It's Dramatic When You Don't Treat People Right When You're In The Tribulations, But I Know Now How To Get Out Of It. You Have To Make A Decision To Say 'no More', And Then You Know What To Do When The Trials Happen.

I Like French Fries; I Like Mashed. I Love Potatoes.

It's Sad That A Lot Of Identities Are Lost And A Lot Of Careers Are Lost Because There's Sort Of A Clone Thing Going On.

It's Challenging To Find An Identity As A Young Person If You Don't Have The Sustenance Of Love, Because You're Being Shipped Around.

I Care About Me Now. When I Didn't Care About Me, I Was, Like, 'why Is This Going Wrong? Why Is My Life So Bad?' But When You Don't Care About Yourself, Nobody Else Is Going To Care About You. So I Learned To Love Myself, Even If Nobody Else Does.

I've Been Praying To God To Show Me How To Forgive Myself. Because... Maybe... That's The Thing I've Been Searching For.

Don't Go A Full Day Or Night Without Washing Your Face. You Have To Get All The Dirt And Makeup Out Of Your Pores.

I Believe There Should Be No More Drama, But It's Everywhere You Go. It's Just About How You Get Out. You've Gotta Bob And Weave Because It's Everywhere. How Do I Keep The Drama Low? It's About Using Your Head.

I Blame My Mother For Nothing, But Forgive Her For Everything.

Cause I'm No Better Than You, You, Or You. And I Can't Get On No Throne And Preach, 'cause I'm Not God.

Better Than You

The Streets Respect Me Because I Kept It Real With Me. You Gotta Be Real With Yourself, And The Streets Recognize Game.

If We Didn't Have Understanding Of Our Journey, We Wouldn't Be Able To Go On. We'd Be Stuck, Like, 'why Me?'

No One Intimidates Me Because I'm Not Trying To Do What You Do, Because I Can't Do What You Do. I Can Only Do What Mary J. Blige Can Do, So That Relaxes Me Right There, And It Gets Me Out Of The Competition And That Whole Thing.

I Cannot Save The World, That's Not What I'm Trying To Do. I Guess I'm Just Trying To Walk The Walk And Be An Example To Those That Want It. Not Everybody Does, But If Mary J Blige Can Come Out Of That Same Hole You Were In, Then You Can Do It Too - That's My Goal: To Do That Without Saying It, But Actually Live It.

I Don't Have Any Health Problems, But To Keep Your Health Improves Your Quality Of Life.

Quality Of Life

There's Not Enough Time To Be Disrespecting... Life Is Too Short.

Life Is Too Short

Then My Life Crashed And Burned Down: Trials, Men, Drama, No Self-love, No Identity. A Little Identity, But Not A Lot Of Love For Myself, My Life.

This Music Business Can Suck All The Love Out Of You, All The Compassion For People - You Can Start To Think You're Better Than Them. But I Want To Continue To Let People Know That I'm No Better And No Worse, I'm Just Like You.

I've Been A Tomboy My Whole Life. But Then You Get Older, You Get Married, You Soften Up.

I've Just Been Growing Right Along. It's Painful, But It's A Great Pain, And I Like Suffering For Great Results. It's Like Going To The Gym. It Hurts Really Bad At First, But After A Couple Of Months And After That Diet, You're Looking So Hot.

'my Life' Is Soft, With Notes Of Pear And Gardenia, But Still Bold, With A Woody Base.

I've Learned So Much From All My Mistakes. I Just Wish I Had Gotten My Education.

The Music Business Is Really, Really Small. The Real Music Is Becoming Almost Extinct, If You Don't Stay True To Who You Are.

When Someone Comes Up To Me And Says, 'mary, You Helped Save My Marriage', Or, 'mary, You Helped Me Get Out Of This Abusive Relationship', I'm In It, Really In Their Lives. And I'm So Passionate About My Feelings, But Also About Showing People The Way Through Theirs.

Believe In Yourself When Nobody Else Does.

Never Give Up Hope

God Comes First - If I Don't Love Him, I Can't Love Anybody, And If I Can't Love Me I Can't Love Nobody.

It's Not Just Songs And Glamour. It's Sweat, Blood, Broken Toes, And Mistakes... It's Life.

You Demand Respect And You'll Get It. First Of All, You Give Respect.

Nowadays, With The State Of The Music Business, For Any Artist, Whether You're Up-and-coming Or You've Been In It For Awhile, You Have To Explore Different Revenues And Different Ways Of Expressing Yourself.

If You're Looking For Inner Peace From The Outside World, You're Not Going To Get That. The Inner Peace Starts With Looking At You From The Inside. Understanding That Everything That Comes To You Is What You Are. Everything From Friends To Boyfriends To The Job You Get - It's All A Direct Reflection Of What You Are On The Inside.

From Being A Little Girl In The Projects, Going Through All Of The Mess That I Was Going Through, To Ending Up At The Inauguration For The First African-american President, I'm Speechless Right Now Because I Never Thought I'd - I Never Ever - I Couldn't Even See That Far. Even When I Ended Up In The Music Business I Couldn't See That.

African American

I'm Striving Toward This Acting Thing. I'm Definitely Gonna Work Hard On That, Whatever Comes My Way, I'm Gonna Work Hard On It.

The Important Thing Is To Realize That No Matter What People's Opinions May Be, They're Only Just That - People's Opinions. You Have To Believe In Your Heart What You Know To Be True About Yourself. And Let That Be That.

Yonkers Made Me Strong And Made Me Believe In Myself, Because So Many People Would Doubt You And Not Believe. There Are People That Would Believe In You, But The Environment Was So Harsh, Nobody Wanted You To Get Out, You Know?

I Can Tell You I Didn't Feel Good When I Could Not Articulate Properly. Getting My Ged Was Important And I Want Other Women To Feel That.

When You're Going To Do Whatever You're Going To Do, You Have To Get Your, Put Your Mind Into It.

When I Was A Kid, I Needed To Sing Because It Makes Me Feel Good About Myself. It Makes Me Feel Good, Period.

Just Don't Let The Hype Of What People Are Saying And How Much They Love You, Y'know, Just Take The Compliment And Be Thankful That People Are Complimenting You, But Don't Let It Consume You; Don't Let Your Circumstances Around You And The Way People View You Make You Act A Certain Way.

God Loves Me And Sent His Son To Die For Me So I Have To Live To Please Him Because He Saved Me When Everyone Abandoned Me.

It's Ok Showing Yourself Some Love.

When You Tell Your Truth, You Are Coming From A Real Place, So You Are Automatically A Leader.

It Was Only For Two Years, And I Jumped From Family To Family. It's Very Scary.

I Don't Know What Kind Of God The Rest Of Y'all Are Serving, But The God I Serve Says, 'mary, You Need To Be The Hottest Thing This Year, And I'm Gonna Make Sure You're Doing That.'

I Don't Want No Drama In My Life, Even Though We Have A Little Bit, But No More Letting People Control You. That's Drama, Because Then You Become Something That You're Not.

I Wish I Had Known That Education Is The Key. That Knowledge Is Power. Now I Pick Up Books And Watch Educational Shows With My Husband. I'm Seeing How Knowledge Can Elevate You.

I Think Women Should Band Together To Get Us More Respect In All The Businesses That We're In Because, You Know, If We Turn 40, We're Nothing And Nobody. We All Should Band Together And Just Say We're Not Gonna Go Down Like That.

You Can Hate Me. You Can Go Out There And Say Anything You Want About Me, But You Will Love Me Later Because I Told You The Truth.

I Didn't Never Have To Go To A Therapist. I Just Always Put It In A Song And You Heard Me.

In The Inner City, There's A Mentality That The Government Owes You Something. My Breakthrough Came When I Stopped Feeling Sorry For Myself And Took Responsibility For Every Part Of My Life. No More Pity Parties. I've Gotta Love Me More Than Anybody Else Loves Me.

By The Time I Was A Teenager, When I Went Outside The House, It Was About Hip-hop All The Time. Nothing But Hip-hop, Block Parties.

I Had To Learn How To Trust My Gut. Trust What I Know To Be Right... Not Right, But Not Waver On Who I Am. Know Who I Am, Know What I Want, And Know It. Not Waver On It And Be Secure In That. And I Still Struggle With It. But I Really... I Can't Be Moved. You Can't Move Me, And That All Comes With Loving Myself, And I'm Like My Best Buddy.

I Like To Do Interior Design, I Love To Quilt, I Love To See Different Colors Together, And I Love To Match Things Up.

I Like Hanging Out With Me, And I've Accepted Everything About Me Good, Bad Whatever It Is. That's Why I'm Able To, That's Why No One Can Tell Me Anything Negative About Myself.

It's That First Step-getting Out The Door-that's The Toughest. If You Can Do That, You've Already Won.

When I Was A Child I Didn't Care About Getting An Education, And I Didn't Finish High School.

I'm Searching For A Real Love.

The Only Person That I'm Really Feeling - Because She Has An Identity Of Her Own, Even Though She Has Listened To Mary J. Blige - Is Jill Scott.

So As Long As I'm A Human Being And I'm Not Perfect, I'm Able To Say I'm Having Some Growing Pains. Because In Order To Sustain Where You Are Once You Made Such A Breakthrough That Everyone Is Looking At You, Now Everyone Is Like, 'ooh, Is She Gonna Make A Mistake?' Yes, I'm Going To Make A Mistake. Yes, I'm Still Gonna Do Things.

As A Child I Always Wanted To Be A Singer. The Music My Mother Played In The House Moved Me - Aretha Franklin, Chaka Khan, Mahalia Jackson. It Was Truly Spiritual. It Made You Understand What God Was. We Are All Spirits. We Get Depressed. But Music Makes You Want To Live. I Know My Music Has Saved My Life.

I Remember A Time When All My Fans Were Crying And Sad And Going Through Hell. Now, We're Trying To Uplift Each Other And Accept Ourselves For Who We Are, Even If Nobody Else Does.

One Day I Realized That I Wasn't Getting Anywhere By Blaming Other People For My Circumstances. I Finally Understood: Even If You Feel Someone Has Wronged You Or Owes You Something, No One Is Going To Give You Anything For Free.

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