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In Stark Contrast To Two Nights Ago, When I Felt Peeta Was A Million Miles Away, I'm Struck By His Immediacy Now. As We Settle In, He Pulls My Head Down To Use His Arm As A Pillow; The Other Rests Protectively Over Me Even When He Goes To Sleep. No One Has Held Me Like This In Such A Long Time. Since My Father Died And I Stopped Trusting My Mother, No One Else's Arms Have Made Me Feel This Safe.

-Suzanne Collins

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In Stark Contrast To

Suzanne Collins

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In Stark Contrast To Two Nights Ago, When I Felt Peeta Was A Million Miles Away, I'm Struck By His Immediacy Now. As We Settle In, He Pulls My Head Down To Use His Arm As A Pillow; The Other Rests Protectively Over Me Even When He Goes To Sleep. No One Has Held Me Like This In Such A Long Time. Since My Father Died And I Stopped Trusting My Mother, No One Else's Arms Have Made Me Feel This Safe.

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Exactly How Am I Supposed To Work In A Thank-you In There? Somehow It Just Won't Seem Sincere If I'm Trying To Slit His Throat.

All I Can Think Of Is The Emaciated Bodies Of Children On Our Kitchen Table As My Mother Prescribes What The Parent's Can't Give. More Food.

And She's My Fiancee. So If You Want To Get To Him, Expect To Go Through Both Of Us.

I Noticed Just About Every Girl, But None Of Them Made A Lasting Impression But You.

Lasting Impressions

I Mourn My Old Life Here. We Barely Scraped By, But I Knew Where I Fit In, I Knew What My Place Was In The Tightly Interwoven Fabric That Was Our Life. I Wish I Could Go Back To It Because, In Retrospect, It Seems So Secure Compared To Now, When I Am So Rich And Famous And So Hated By The Authorities In The Capitol.

That's Very Funny," Says Peeta. Suddenly He Lashes Out At The Glass In Haymitch's Hand. It Shatters On The Floor, Sending The Bloodred Liquid Running Toward The Back Of The Train. "only Not To Us.

And, My God, The Actors. The Cast, Led By The Extraordinary Jennifer Lawrence, Is Absolutely Wonderful Across The Board. It’s Such A Pleasure To See How They’ve Embodied The Characters And Brought Them To Life.

I Noticed The Plants Growing Around Me. Tall With Leaves Like Arrowheads. Blossoms With Three White Petals. I Knelt Down In The Water, My Fingers Digging Into The Soft Mud, And I Pulled Up Handfuls Of The Roots. Small, Bluish Tubers That Don’t Look Like Much But Boiled Or Baked Are As Good As Any Potato. “katniss,” I Said Aloud. It’s The Plant I Was Named For. And I Heard My Father’s Voice Joking, “as Long As You Can Find Yourself, You’ll Never Starve.

I Press My Ear Against His Chest, To The Spot Where I Always Rest My Head, Where I Know I Will Hear The Strong And Steady Beat Of His Heart. Instead, I Find Silence.

Ally." Peeta Says The Words Slowly, Tasting It. "friend. Lover. Victor. Enemy. Fiancee. Target. Mutt. Neighbor. Hunter. Tribute. Ally. I'll Add It To The List Of Words I Use To Try To Figure You Out. The Problem Is, I Can't Tell What's Real Anymore, And What's Made Up.

I Don’t Know What The Explosion Did, But It Damaged Something Deep And Irreparable. Never Mind. If I Get Home, I’ll Be So Stinking Rich, I’ll Be Able To Pay Someone To Do My Hearing.

So, What Do You Think They'll Do To Him?" I Ask. Prim Sounds About A Thousand Years Old When She Speaks. "whatever It Takes To Break You.

One More Time? For The Audience?" He Says. His Voice Isn't Angry. It's Hollow, Which Is Worse. Already The Boy With The Bread Is Slipping Away From Me. I Take His Hand, Holding On Tightly, Preparing For The Cameras, And Dreading The Moment When I Will Finally Have To Let Go.

If I Can Make It Clear That I’m Still Defying The Capitol Right Up To The End, The Capitol Will Have Killed Me... But Not My Spirit. What Better Way To Give Hope To The Rebels?

It Is A Perfect Weapon

I Wonder If Effie Will Still Be Wearing That Silly Pink Wig, Or Is She'll Be Sporting Some Other Unnatural Color Especially For The Victor Tour.

I Can Almost Hear Haymitch Groaning As I Team Up With This Wispy Child. But I Want Her. Because She's A Survivor, And I Trust Her, And Why Not Admit It? She Reminds Me Of Prim.

Time And Tragedy Have Forced Her To Grow Too Quickly, At Least For My Taste, Into A Young Woman Who Stitches Bleeding Wounds And Knows Our Mother Can Hear Only So Much.

And While I Was Talking, The Idea Of Actually Losing Peeta Hit Me Again And I Realized How Much I Don't Want Him To Die. And It's Not About The Sponsors. And It's Not About What Will Happen When We Get Home. And It's Not Just That I Don't Want To Be Alone. It's Him. I Do Not Want To Lose The Boy With The Bread.

But Collective Thinking Is Usually Short-lived. We're Fickle, Stupid Beings With Poor Memories And A Great Gift For Self-destruction.

Oh, Well. At Least My Blood Is Flowing.

I Don't Like Self-righteous People," I Say. "what's To Like?" Says Haymitch, Who Begins Sucking The Dregs Out Of The Empty Bottles.

He Hates Me More," Says Peeta. "i Don't Think People In General Are His Sort Of Thing.

Whenever I Write A Story, I Hope It Appeals To Both Boys And Girls.

Frankly, Our Ancestors Don't Seem Much To Brag About. I Mean, Look At The State They Left Us In, With The Wars, The Broken Planet. Clearly, They Didn't Care About What Would Happen To The People Who Came After Them.

Just Remember, Stealing's Punishable By Death

What Have The Nibblers Ever Done For You?" The Breeze Ruffled Her Hair, Pushing It Back From Her Face, Giving Him A Clear Shot Of Her Eyes. They Were Asking For An Answer. Needing To Know If She Could Count On Him. "they Saved Your Life," He Said. And For Just A Moment, Luxa's Face Softened And She Smiled.

Never," Said Gregor. "i'll Never Get Rid Of You, No Matter How Hard I Try." It Was No Longer An Effort To Say The Words. "i Love You." "i Love You, Too," Said Luxa. After That There Was Nothing Left To Say.

Oh, That I Do Know...katniss Will Pick Whoever She Thinks She Can't Survive Without.

Mockingjay Book

Underground. Which I Hate. Like Mines And Tunnels And 13. Underground, Where I Dread Dying, Which Is Stupid Because Even If I Die Aboveground, The Next Thing They'll Do Is Bury Me Underground Anyway.

But Once I Saw Fulvia Cardew Crumple Up A Sheet Of Paper With Just A Couple Of Words Written On It And You Would’ve Thought She’d Murdered Someone From The Looks She Got.

Want A Sugar Cube?" He Asks In His Old Seductive Voice.

I'll Tell Them How I Survive It. I'll Tell Them That On Bad Mornings, It Feels Impossible To Take Pleasure In Anything Because I'm Afraid It Could Be Taken Away. That's When I Make A List In My Head Of Every Act Of Goodness I've Seen Someone Do. It's Like A Game. Repetitive. Even A Little Tedious After More Than Twenty Years. But There Are Much Worse Games To Play.

‎i'm Not Going Anywhere. I'm Going To Stay Right Here And Cause All Kinds Of Trouble.

Got It," I Say. "did You Tell Peeta This?" "don't Have To," Says Haymitch. "he's Already There.

I'm Sick Of People Lying To Me For My Own Good. Because Really It's Mostly For Their Own Good.

People Don't Need Wings To Survive" "mockingjays Do.

But Don't Worry; As I've Been Saying - And This Has Been Very Clever Of Me, I'm Sure You'll Agree - If You Put Enough Pressure On Coal, It'll Turn To Pearls!

Taking The Kids From Our Districts, Forcing Them To Kill One Another While We Watch – This Is The Capitol’s Way Of Reminding Us How Totally We Are At Their Mercy. How Little Chance We Would Stand Of Surviving Another Rebellion. Whatever Words They Use, The Real Message Is Clear. “look How We Take Your Children And Sacrifice Them And There’s Nothing You Can Do. If You Lift A Finger, We Will Destroy Every Last One Of You. Just As We Did In District Thirteen

I Don't Have A Talent, Unless You Count Hunting Illegally, Which They Don't. Or Maybe Singing, Which I Wouldn't Do For The Capitol In A Million Years. My Mother Tried To Interest Me In A Variety Of Suitable Alternatives From A List Effie Trinket Sent Her. Cooking, Flower Arranging, Playing The Flute. None Of Them Took, Although Prim Had A Knack For All Three. Finally Cinna Stepped In And Offered To Help Me Develop My Passion For Designing Clothes, Which Really Required Development Since It Was Non-existent.

Let Them Go, I Tell Myself. Say Good-bye And Forget Them. I Do My Best, Thinking Of Them One By One, Releasing Them Like Birds From The Protective Cages Inside Me, Locking The Doors Against Their Return.

Nerrissa? You Believe Her? Well, You At Least Have To Credit Her With A Certain Instability! Remember When She Told You That I Was Going To Take Over The Fount With And Army Of Lobsters?" Said Ripred. You Did Try To Take Over The Fount With An Army Of Lobsters." Said Vikus. Yes, Yes, But It Was Years Before She Was Born. My Point Is, She Flip-flops In And Out Of Time Like A Fish In Shallow Waters." Answered Ripred.

Who Says I Can't Handle It? I Can Handle It," Said Gregor Obviously Not Handling It.

Just Give Him The Medicine!" I Scream At Her. "give It To Him! Who Are You, Anyway, To Decide How Much Pain He Can Stand!

You'll Never Be Able To Let Him Go. You'll Always Feel Wrong About Being With Me.

So That Day, In Music Assembly, The Teacher Asked Who Knew The Valley Song. Your Hand Shot Right Up In The Air. She Stood You Up On A Stool And Had You Sing It For Us. And I Swear, Every Bird Outside The Windows Fell Silent...and Right When Your Song Ended, I Knew - Just Like Your Mother - I Was A Goner.

And There I Am, Blushing And Confused, Made Beautiful By Cinna’s Hands, Desirable By Peeta’s Confession, Tragic By Circumstance, And By All Accounts, Unforgettable.

I Guess This Is A Bad Time To Mention I Hung A Dummy And Painted Seneca Crane's Name On It.

All Those Months Of Taking It For Granted That Peeta Thought I Was Wonderful Are Over. Finally, He Can See Me For Who I Really Am. Violent. Distrustful. Manipulative. Deadly. And I Hate Him For It.

He Felt Around Desperately For A Weapon. What Did He Have? Diapers? Cookies? Oh, Why Hadn't They Given Him A Sword? He Was The Stupid Warrior, Wasn't He? His Fingers Dug In The Leather Bag And Closed Around The Root Beer Can. Root Beer! He Yanked Out The Can Shaking It With All His Might. "attack! Attack!" He Yelled.

Plutarch Rushes To Reassure Me. "oh, No, Katniss. Not Your Wedding. Finnick And Annie's. All You Need To Do Is Show Up And Pretend To Be Happy For Them." "that's One Of The Few Things I Won't Have To Pretend, Plutarch," I Tell Him.

Really, The Combination Of The Scabs And The Ointment Looks Hideous. I Can't Help Enjoying His Distress. "poor Finnick. Is This The First Time In Your Life You Haven't Looked Pretty?" I Say. "it Must Be. The Sensation's Completely New. How Have You Managed It All These Years?" He Asks. "just Avoid Mirrors. You'll Forget About It," I Say. "not If I Keep Looking At You," He Says.

Courage Only Counts When You Can Count.

We're Supposed To Be Making Up This Stuff, Playing At Being In Love, Not Actually Being In Love.

The Hatred I Feel For Him, For The Phantom Girl, For Everything, Is So Real And Immediate It Chokes Me. Gale Is Mine. I Am His. Anything Else Is Unthinkable. Why Did It Take Him Being Whipped Within An Inch Of His Life To See It?

Because I'm Selfish. I'm A Coward. I'm The Kind Of Girl Who, When She Might Actually Be Of Use, Would Run To Stay Alive And Leave Those Who Couldn't Follow To Suffer And Die.

Finnick!" Something Between A Shriek And A Cry Of Joy. A Lovely If Somewhat Bedraggled Young Woman--dark Tangled Hair, Sea Green Eyes--runs Toward Us In Nothing But A Sheet. "finnick!" And Suddenly, It's As If There's No One In The World But These Two, Crashing Through Space To Reach Each Other. They Collide, Enfold, Lose Their Balance, And Slam Against A Wall, Where They Stay. Clinging Into One Being. Indivisible. A Pang Of Jealousy Hits Me. Not For Either Finnick Or Annie But For Their Certainty. No One Seeing Them Could Doubt Their Love.

One Slip. One Slip In Thousands. The Odds Had Been Entirely In Her Favor. But It Hadn't Mattered.

Remember, Heads High. Smiles. They're Going To Love You!

Remember That Even In War There Is A Time For Restraint. A Time To Hold Back Your Sword.

But Just Before They Cut Back To The Main Newscaster, I See The Unmistakable Flash Of That Same Mockingjay's Wing. The Reporter Has Simply Been Incorporated Into The Old Footage. She's Not In District 13 At All. Which Begs The Question, What Is?

I Pull An Arrow, Whip The Notch Into Place, And Am About To Let It Fly When I'm Stopped By The Sight Of Finnick Kissing Peeta. And It's So Bizarre, Even For Finnick.

The Pain Over My Heart Returns, And From It I Imagine Tiny Fissures Spreading Out Into My Body. Through My Torso, Down My Arms And Legs, Over My Face, Leaving It Crisscrossed With Cracks. One Good Jolt...and I Could Shatter Into Strange Razor-sharp Shards.

I Know. I Was Hoping," I Say. "exactly. Because You're Desperate," Says Haymitch. I Don't Argue Because, Of Course, He's Right.

Today I Might Lose Both Of Them. I Try To Imagine A World Where Both Gale's And Peeta's Voices Have Ceased. Hands Stilled. Eyes Unblinking. I'm Standing Over Their Bodies, Having A Last Look, Leaving The Room Where They Lie. But When I Open The Door To Step Out Into The World, There's Only A Tremendous Void. A Pale Grey Nothingness That Is All My Future Holds.

What Say You, Luxa?" Said Vikus. "what Can I Say, Vikus? Can I Return To Our People And Tell Them I Withdrew From The Quest When Our Survival Hangs In The Balance?" Said Luxa Bitterly. "of Course You Cannot, Luxa. This Is Why He Times It So," Said Henry. "you Could Choose To - " Started Vikus. "i Could Choose! I Could Choose!" Retorted Luxa. " Do Not Offer Me A Choice When You Know None Exits!" She And Henry Turned Their Backs On Vikus.

At Least, You Two Have Decent Manners," Says Effie As We're Finishing The Main Course. "the Pair Last Year Ate Everything With Their Hands Like A Couple Of Savages. It Completely Upset My Digestion." ... My Mother Taught Prim And Me To Eat Properly, So Yes, I Can Handle A Fork And Knife. But I Hate Effie Trinket's Comment So Much I Make A Point Of Eating The Rest Of My Meal With My Fingers. Then I Wipe My Hands On The Tablecloth. This Makes Her Purse Her Lips Tightly Together.

Katniss Everdeen, The Girl Who Was On Fire, You Have Provided A Spark That, Left Unattended, May Grow To An Inferno That Destroys Panem," He Says.

It's Just Me And The Bane. And I'm Fighting Him Because He Killed All Of Those Innocent Mice And People, And I Have To Stop Him. Not Because Sandwich Says So But Because I Say So.

Everything Is About Them, Not The Dying Boys And Girls In The Arena.

My Voice, At First Rough And Breaking On The High Notes, Warms Up Into Something Splendid. A Voice That Would Make The Mockingjays Fall Silent And Then Tumble Over Themselves To Join In.

She’s Really Gone, Then. The Little Girl With The Back Of Her Shirt Sticking Out Like A Duck Tail, The One Who Needed Help Reaching The Dishes, And Who Begged To See The Frosted Cakes In The Bakery Window. Time And Tragedy Have Forced Her To Grow Too Quickly, At Least For My Taste, Into A Young Woman Who Stitches Bleeding Wounds And Knows Our Mother Can Hear Only So Much.

Katniss. I Remember About The Bread.

Roses. Wolf Mutts. Tributes. Frosted Dolphins. Friends. Mockingjays. Stylists. Me. Everything Screams In My Dreams Tonight.

The Rat Turned His Glowing Eyes On Him, And Gregor Was Shocked By What He Saw There. The Intelligence, The Deadliness, And, Most Surprisingly, The Pain. This Rat Was Not Like Fangor And Shed. He Was Much More Complicated And Much More Dangerous. For The First Time In The Underland, Gregor Felt Completely Out Of His League. If He Fought This Rat, He Wouldn't Stand A Change. He Would Lose. He Would Be Dead.

If I'm Going To Die, I Want To Still Be Me

The More You Can Distract Yourself, The Better.

This Is The First Kiss That We're Both Fully Aware Of. Neither Of Us Hobbled By Sickness Or Pain Or Simply Unconscious. Our Lips Neither Burning With Fever Or Icy Cold. This Is The First Kiss Where I Actually Feel Stirring Inside My Chest. Warm And Curious. This Is The First Kiss That Makes Me Want Another.

You And Me Haymitch.very Cozy.picnics, Birthdays, Long Winter Nights Sitting Around The Fire Retelling Old Hunger Games Tale. -peeta Mellark

Obviously This Person's A Hazard. Stupid People Are Dangerous.

Maybe I'll Be Like That Man In "the Hanging Tree'. Still Waiting For An Answer.

I Know He Was Desperate. That Makes People Do All Kinds Of Crazy Things.

Scores Only Matter If They’re Very Good, No One Pays Much Attention To The Bad Or Mediocre Ones.

I Keep Hoping That As Time Passes By, We’ll Regain The Ease Between Us, But Part Of Me Knows It’s Futile. There’s No Going Back.

Lay Down Your Head, And Close Your Sleepy Eyes, And When Again They Open, The Sun Will Rise.

I Guess There Isn’t A Rule Book For What Might Be Unacceptable To Do To Another Human Being.

Because Something Is Significantly Wrong With A Creature That Sacrifices Its Children's Lives To Settle Its Differences. You Can Spin It Any Way You Like... But In The End, Who Does It Benefit? No One. The Truth Is, It Benefits No One To Live In A World Where These Things Happen

We Could Do It, You Know." "what?" "leave The District. Run Off. Live In The Woods. You And I, We Could Make It.

Capitol In Hunger Games

Not Only Does He Hate Me, And Want To Kill Me, He No Longer Believes I'm Human. It Was Less Painful Being Strangled.

There Are Much Worse Games To Play.

Taking The Kids From Our Districts, Forcing Them To Kill One Another While We Watch – This Is The Capitol’s Way Of Reminding Us How Totally We Are At Their Mercy.

I Have Not Wept Since The Death Of My Parents," Said Luxa Quietly. "but I Am Thought To Be Unnatural In This Respect.

They Don't Own Me. If I'm Gonna Die, I Wanna Still Be Me.

They're Betting On How Long I'll Live!" I Burst Out. "they're Not My Friends!" "well, Try And Pretend!" Snaps Effie. Then She Composes Herself And Beams At Me. "see, Like This. I'm Smiling At You Even Though You're Aggravating Me.

The Walls Of This Elevator Are Made Of Crystal So That You Can Watch The People On The Ground Floor Shrink To Ants As You Shoot Up Into The Air. It's Exhilarating And I'm Tempted To Ask Effie Trinket If We Can Ride It Again, But Somehow That Seems Childish.

Better Not To Give In To It.

Ll I Can Think About, Every Day, Every Waking Minute Since They Drew Prim's Name At The Reaping, Is How Afraid I Am.

I Send A Silent Thank-you To Dalton For Suggesting I Wash Off The Makeup. How Ridiculous, How Perverse I Would Feel Presenting That Painted Capitol Mask To These People. The Damage, The Fatigue, The Imperfections. That's How They Recognize Me, Why I Belong To Them.

I Swing My Arms To Loosen Myself Up. Place My Fists On My Hips. Then Drop Them To My Sides. Saliva's Filling My Mouth At A Ridiculous Rate And I Feel Vomit At The Back Of My Throat. I Swallow Hard And Open My Lips So I Can Get The Stupid Line Out And Go Hide In The Woods And-that's When I Start Crying.

That Was The One Thing I Had Going For Me. Taking Care Of Your Family.

It’s The Final Word In Camouflage. Forget Chucking Weights Around. Peeta Should Have Gone Into His Private Session With The Gamemakers And Painted Himself Into A Tree. Or A Boulder. Or A Muddy Bank Full Of Weeds.

One Night, I Was Lying In Bed, And I Was Channel Surfing Between Reality Tv Programs And Actual War Coverage. On One Channel, There's A Group Of Young People Competing For I Don't Even Know; And On The Next, There's A Group Of Young People Fighting In An Actual War. I Was Really Tired, And The Lines Between These Stories Started To Blur In A Very Unsettling Way. That's The Moment When Katniss's Story Came To Me.

He Puts The Chain With The Locket Around My Neck, Then Rests His Hand Over The Spot Where Our Baby Would Be. “you’re Going To Make A Great Mother, You Know,” He Says. He Kisses Me One Last Time And Goes Back To Finnick.

But In School I Remember Hearing That For The Second Quarter Quell, The Capitol Demanded That Twice The Number Of Tributes Be Provided For The Arena. The Teachers Didn't Go Into Much More Detail, Which Is Surprising, Because That Was The Year District 12's Very Own Haymitch Abernathy Won The Crown.

The Evil Thing Is Inside, Not Out.

Something Small And Quiet, Like A Match Being Struck, Lights Up The Gloom Inside Of Me.

But Mockingjays Were Never A Weapon," Said Madge. "they’re Just Songbirds. Right?" "yeah, I Guess So,” I Said, But It’s Not True. A Mockingbird Is Just A Songbird. A Mockingjay Is A Creature The Capitol Never Intended To Exist. They Hadn’t Counted On The Highly Controlled Jabberjay Having The Brains To Adapt To The Wild, To Thrive In A New Form. They Hadn’t Anticipated Its Will To Live.

In District 12, Looking Old Is Something Of An Achievement Since So Many People Die Early. You See An Elderly Person, You Want To Congratulate Them On Their Longevity, Ask The Secret Of Survival. A Plump Person Is Envied Because They Aren't Scraping By Like The Majority Of Us. But Here Is Different. Wrinkles Aren't Desirable. A Round Belly Isn't A Sign Of Success.

Let The Hunger Games Begin!

I Take A Few Breaths To Calm Myself, Step Back, And Lift Buttercup By The Scruff Of The Neck. "i Should've Drowned You When I Had The Chance." His Ears Flatten And He Raises A Paw. I Hiss Before He Gets A Chance, Which Seems To Annoy Him A Little, Since He Considers Hissing His Own Personal Sound Of Contempt.

Then I Dive Into My Tent Before I Do Something Stupid Like Cry.

Oh, And I Suppose The Apples Ate The Cheese.

Tick, Tock,” Whispers Wiress. I Guide Her In Front Of Me And Get Her To Lie Down, Stroking Her Arm To Soothe Her. She Drifts Off, Stirring Restlessly, Occasionally Sighing Out Her Phrase. “tick, Tock.” “tick, Tock,” I Agree Softly. “it’s Time For Bed. Tick, Tock. Go To Sleep.

They Don't Know That I'm Already Asking For The Moon.

Charred Bits Of Black Silk Swirl Into The Air, And Pearls Clatter To The Stage… I’m In A Dress Of The Exact Design Of My Wedding Dress, Only It’s The Color Of Coal And Made Of Tiny Feathers. Wonderingly, I Lift My Long, Flowing Sleeves Into The Air, And That’s When I See Myself On The Television Screen. Clothed In Black Except For The White Patches On My Sleeves. Or Should I Say My Wings. Because Cinna Had Turned Me Into A Mockingjay.

I'm Almost There, Almost To The Barricade, When I Thinks She Hears Me. Because For Just A Moment, She Catches Sight Of Me, Her Lips Form My Name. And That's When The Rest Of The Parachutes Go Off.

Peeta" I Said "stay With Me" I Heard Him Say One Word Before The Drigs Pulled Me Under, I Realised Later That What He Said Was 'always

The Only Indication Of The Passage Of Time Lies In The Heavens, The Subtle Shift Of The Moon. So Peeta Begins Pointing It Out To Me, Insisting I Acknowledge Its Progress And Sometimes, For Just A Moment I Feel A Flicker Of Hope Before The Agony Of The Night Engulfs Me Again.

If You Are Not Trying To Hold On To Time, You Are Not So Afraid Of Losing It.

Gregor The Overlander

That's When I Hear The Scream. So Full Of Fear And Pain It Ices My Blood. And So Familiar. I Drop The Spile, Forget Where I Am Or What Lies Ahead, Only Know I Must Reach Her, Protect Her. I Run Wildly In The Direction Of The Voice, Heedless Of Danger, Ripping Through Vines And Branches, Through Anything That Keeps Me From Reaching Her. From Reaching My Little Sister.

Your Favorite Colour . . . It's Green?" "that's Right." Then I Think Of Something To Add. "and Yours Is Orange." "orange?" He Seems Unconvinced. "not Bright Orange. But Soft. Like The Sunset," I Say. "at Least, That's What You Told Me Once." "oh." He Closes His Eyes Briefly, Maybe Trying To Conjure Up That Sunset, Then Nods His Head. "thank You." But More Words Tumble Out. "you're A Painter. You're A Baker. You Like To Sleep With The Windows Open. You Never Take Sugar In Your Tea. And You Always Double-knot Your Shoelaces.

It's As If I'm Finnick, Watching Images Of My Life Flash By. The Mast Of A Boat, A Silver Parachute, Mags Laughing, A Pink Sky, Beetee's Trident, Annie In Her Wedding Dress, Waves Breaking Over Rocks. Then Its Over.

No More Kisses For You, Until You Have Eaten !

Maybe . . . Because For The First Time . . . There Was A Chance I Could Keep Him,” I Say. “so Now That You've Got Me, What Are You Going To Do With Me?” “put You Somewhere You Can't Get Hurt.” And When He Kisses Me, People In The Room Actually Sigh.

It'd Be Better If He Were Easier To Hate.

Only.. I Want To Do Die As Myself

Hope Is The Only Thing Stronger Than Fear.

Peeta Bakes. I Hunt. Haymitch Drinks Until The Liquor Runs Out.

How Much Energy They Put Into Harming Each Other. How Little Into Saving.

I No Longer Feel Any Allegiance To These Monsters Called Human Beings, Despise Being One Myself.

I've Asked You Fifty Questions And Still Have No Sense Of Your Life, Your Family, What You Care About. They Want To Know About You, Katniss." "but I Don't Want Them To! They're Already Taking My Future! They Can't Have The Things That Mattered To Time In The Past!" I Say.

It's There. The White Rose Among The Dried Flowers In The Vase. Shriveled And Fragile, But Holding On To That Unnatural Perfection Cultivated In Snows Greenhouse. I Grab The Vase, Stumble Down To The Kitchen, And Throw Its Contents Into The Embers. As The Flowers Flare Up, A Burst Of Blue Flame Envelops The Rose And Devours It. Fire Beats Roses Again.

Sometimes When I'm Alone, I Take The Pearl From Where It Lives In My Pocket And Try To Remember The Boy With The Bread, The Strong Arms That Warded Off Nightmares On The Train, The Kisses In The Arena.

She Reaches In, Digs Her Hand Deep Into The Ball, And Pulls Out A Slip Of Paper. The Crowd Draws In A Collective Breath, And Then You Can Hear A Pin Drop, And I'm Feeling Nauseous And So Desperately Hoping That It's Not Me, That It's Not Me, That It's Not Me. Effie Trinket Crosses Back To The Podium, Smoothes The Slip Of Paper, And Reads Out The Name In A Clear Voice. And It's Not Me. It's Primrose Everdeen.

Sometimes, When I Clean A Kill, I Feed Buttercup The Entrails. He Has Stopped Hissing At Me. Entrails. No Hissing. This Is The Closest We Will Ever Come To Love.

I Have Two Older Sisters And One Older Brother And Hold Them Largely Responsible For The Trouble I Got Into Growing Up. I Believe As The Youngest Child, That Is My Right.

The Most Exciting Thing Either Of Us Does Is Nap.

I Never See These Things Coming. They Happen Too Fast. One Second You're Proposing An Escape Plan And The Next...

But What Was It Haymitch Said When I Asked If He Had Told Peeta The Situation? That He Had To Pretend To Be Desperately In Love? “don’t Have To. He’s Already There.

It Takes Ten Times As Long To Put Yourself Back Together As It Does To Fall Apart.

I Know We Promised Haymitch, We'd Do Exactly What They Said, But I Don't Think He Considered This Angle.' 'where Is Haymitch, Anyway? Isn't He Supposed To Protect Us From This Sort Of Thing?' Says Peeta. 'with All That Alcohol In Him, It's Probably Not Advisable To Have Him Around An Open Flame,' I Say.

I Notice Her Blouse Has Pulled Out Of Her Skirt In The Back Again And Force Myself To Stay Calm. "tuck Your Tail In, Little Duck," I Say, Smoothing The Blouse Back In Place. Prim Giggles And Give Me A Small "quack." "quack Yourself," I Say With A Light Laugh. The Kind Only Prim Can Draw Out Of Me.

If You Won't Talk About Yourself, At Least Compliment The Audience. Just Keep Turning It Back Around, All Right. Gush.

But Just The Fact That He Was Sparkling Leads Me To Doubt Everything That Happened.

How About You, Mockingjay? You Feel Totally Safe?” “oh, Yeah. Right Up Until I Got Shot,” I Say.

You're Alive," I Whisper, Pressing My Palms Against My Cheeks, Feeling The Smile That's So Wide It Must Look Like A Grimace. Peeta's Alive.

What About Gale?" "he's Not A Bad Kisser Either," I Say Shortly. "and It Was Okay With Both Of Us? You Kissing The Other?" He Asks. "no. It Wasn't Okay With Either Of You. But I Wasn't Asking Your Permission," I Tell Him. Peeta Laughs Again, Coldly, Dismissively. "well, You're A Piece Of Work, Aren't You?

"katniss?" He Drops My Hand And I Take A Step, As If To Catch My Balance. "it Was All For The Games," Peeta Says. "how You Acted." "not All Of It," I Say, Tightly Holding Onto My Flowers. "then How Much? No, Forget That. I Guess The Real Question Is What's Going To Be Left When We Get Home?" He Says. "i Don't Know. The Closer We Get To District Twelve, The More Confused I Get," I Say. He Waits, For Further Explanation, But None's Forthcoming. "well, Let Me Know When You Work It Out," He Says, And The Pain In His Voice Is Palpable.

If I Feel Ragged, My Prep Team Seems In Worse Condition, Knocking Back Coffee And Sharing Brightly Colored Little Pills. As Far As I Can Tell, They Never Get Up Before Noon Unless There's Some Sort Of National Emergency, Like My Leg Hair.

Unfortunately, I Can't Seal The Sponsor Deals For You. Only Haymitch Can Do That," Says Effie Grimly. "but Don't Worry, I'll Get Him To The Table At Gunpoint If Necessary." Although Lacking In Many Departments, Effie Trinket Has A Certain Determination I Have To Admire.

I Am Not Pretty. I Am Not Beautiful. I Am As Radiant As The Sun.

Director Gary Ross Has Created An Adaptation That Is Faithful In Both Narrative And Theme, But He's Also Brought A Rich And Powerful Vision Of Panem, Its Brutality And Excesses, To The Film As Well. His World Building's Fantastic, Whether It Be The Seam Or The Capitol.

This Was The Door To Both Sustenance And Sanity. And We Were Each Other's Key.

If I Win And You Die, I Dont Have A Home To Go Back To. You Are My Life.

Deep In The Meadow, Hidden Far Away, A Cloak Of Leaves, A Moonbeam Ray, Forget Your Woes And Let Your Troubles Lay, And When Again It's Morning, They'll Wash Away. Here It's Safe, Here It's Warm, Here The Daisies Guard You From Every Harm, Here Your Dreams Are Sweet And Tomorrow Brings Them True, Here Is The Place Where I Love You.

"if I Could Grow Wings, I Could Fly. Only People Can't Grow Wings," He Say's. "real Or Not Real?" "real," I Say. "but People Don't Need Wings To Survive." "mockingjays Do."

Sometimes When Things Are Particularly Bad, My Brain Will Give Me A Happy Dream. [...] When I Fully Awaken, I'm Momentarily Comforted. I Try To Hold On To The Peaceful Feeling Of The Dream, But It Quickly Slips Away, Leaving Me Sadder Than Ever.

You Know, You're Kind Of Squeamish For Such A Lethal Person

Why Am I Hopping Around Like Some Trained Dog Trying To Please People I Hate?

Well, I Knew That Goat Would Be A Little Gold Mine," I Say. Yes, Of Course I Was Referring To That, Not The Lasting Joy You Gave Your Sister You Love So Much You Took Her Place In The Reaping," Says Peeta Drily.

You Know, You Could Live A Thousand Lifetimes And Not Deserve Him.

Most Rats Read. Our Frustration Is, We Cannot Hold A Pen To Write.

I Want To Do Something, Right Here, Right Now, To Shame Them, To Make Them Accountable, To Show The Capitol That Whatever They Do Or Force Us To Do There Is A Part Of Every Tribute They Can't Own. That Rue Was More Than A Piece In Their Games. And So Am I.

Instead Of Satisfying Me, The Kisses Have The Opposite Effect, Of Make My Need Greater. I Thought I Was Something Of An Expert On Hunger, But This Is An Entirely New Kind.

I Wonder How She'll Make Up Her Mind." "oh, That I Do Know." I Can Just Catch Gale's Last Words Through The Layer Of Fur. "katniss Will Pick Whoever She Thinks She Can't Survive Without.

I Miss Home Badly Sometimes. But Then I Remember There's Nothing Left To Miss Anymore. I Feel Safer Here.

Behind A Rack Of Framed Photos Of Snow, We Encounter A Wounded Peacekeeper Propped Up Against A Strip Of Brick Wall. He Asks Us For Help. Gale Knees Him In The Side Of The Head And Takes His Gun.

Peeta, How Come I Never Know When You're Having A Nightmare?” I Say. “i Don't Know. I Don't Think I Cry Out Or Thrash Around Or Anything. I Just Come To, Paralyzed With Terror,” He Says. “you Should Wake Me,” I Say, Thinking About How I Can Interrupt His Sleep Two Or Three Times On A Bad Night. About How Long It Can Take To Calm Me Down. “it's Not Necessary. My Nightmares Are Usually About Losing You,” He Says. “i'm Okay Once I Realize You're Here.

Sorry Excuses For Hunters And Friends. Both Of Us.

And Once We Reach The City, My Stylist Will Dictate My Look For The Opening Ceremonies Tonight Anyway. I Just Hope I Get One Who Doesn't Think Nudity Is The Last Word In Fashion.

Opening Ceremony

They More Than Do Their Work, They Take Pride In It. Like Cinna.

Enobaria Smiles At Johanna. 'don't Look So Smug,' Says Johanna. 'we'll Kill You Anyway.

And Some Small Gnarled Place Inside Me Hated Her For Her Weakness, For Her Neglect, For The Months She Had Put Us Through. I Had Taken A Step Back From My Mother, Put Up A Wall To Protect Myself From Needing Her, And Nothing Was Ever The Same Between Us Again.

Mostly We Just Add To The Piles Of Rainbow Glass That's Been Blown Off The Exteriors Of The Cany-colored Buildings.

I Don't Know What I Expected From My First Meeting With Peeta After The Announcement. A Few Hugs And Kisses. A Little Comfort Maybe. Not This. I Turn To Haymitch. "don't Worry, I'll Get You More Liquor.

Just Because People Starve In A Book, Doesn't Mean That We Will Starve In The Future.

I Had To Do That. At Least Once.

Vikus Looked At Luxa And Opened His Arms. She Stood, Still Frozen, Staring At Him As If He Were A Complete Stranger. "luxa, It's Your Grandpa," Said Gregor. It Seemed Like The Best And Most Important Thing To Say At The Moment. "it's Your Grandpa." Luxa Blinked. A Tiny Tear Formed At The Corner Of Her Eye. A Battle Took Place On Her Face As She Tried To Stop The Feelings Rising Up Inside Her. The Feelings Won, And To Gregor's Great Relief, She Ran Into Vikus's Arms.

Hey. I Just Wanted To Make Sure You Got Home," I Say. "katniss, I Live Three Houses Away From You," He Says.

Panem Et Circenses" Translates Into 'bread And Circuses.' The Writer Was Saying That In Return For Full Bellies And Entertainment, His People Had Given Up Their Political Responsibilities And Therefore Their Power.

One Time, My Mother Told Me That I Always Eat Like I'll Never See Food Again. And I Said, "i Won't Unless I Bring It Home." That Shut Her Up.

And We Must Fight Back! President Snow Says He's Sending Us A Message? Well, I Have One For Him. You Can Torture Us And Bomb Us And Burn Our Districts To The Ground, But Do You See That? Fire Is Catching! And If We Burn, You Burn With Us!

Want A Sugar Cube?" He Asks In His Old Seductive Voice. That's How We Met, With Finnick Offering Me Sugar. Surrounded By Horses And Chariots, Costumed And Painted For The Crowds, Before We Were Allies. Before I Had Any Idea What Made Him Tick. The Memory Actually Coaxes A Smile Out Of Me. "here, It Improves The Taste," He Says In His Real Voice, Plunking Three Cubes Into My Cup.

When You're In The Arena...you Just Remember Who The Enemy Is" - Haymitch

I Volunteer!" I Gasp. "i Volunteer As Tribute!

Here Began Countless Days Of Hunting And Snaring, Fishing And Gathering, Roaming Together Through The Woods, Unloading Our Thoughts While We Filled Our Game Bags. This Was The Doorway To Both Sustenance And Sanity. And We Were Each Other's Key.

Since Mags Seems To Have No Ill Effects From The Nuts, Peeta Collects Bunches Of Them And Fries Them By Bouncing Them Off The Force Field.

I Always Channel My Emotions Into My Work. That Way, I Don't Hurt Anyone But Myself.

Even In War There Should Be Lines You Didn't Cross.

The Morphlings From District 6 Are In The Camouflage Station, Painting Each Other's Faces With Bright Pink Swirls.

Even If Times Got Bad, He Would Never Again Deny Himself The Possibility That The Future Might Be Happy Even If The Present Was Painful. He Would Allow Himself Dreams.

Want A Sugar Cube? [...] They're Supposed To Be For The Horses, But Who Cares? They've Got Years To Eat Sugar, Whereas You And I . . . Well, If We See Something Sweet We Better Grab It Quick. [...] You're Absolutely Terrifying Me In That Get-up. What Happened To The Pretty Little-girl Dresses?

That What?" "that I Knew I Misjudged You. That You Love Him. I'm Not Saying In What Way. Maybe You Don't Know Yourself. But Anyone Paying Attention Could See How Much You Care About Him," He Says Gently.

I Can't Help Comparing What I Have With Gale To What I'm Pretending To Have With Peeta. How I Never Question Gale's Motives While I Do Nothing But Doubt The Latter's. It's Not A Fair Comparison Really. Gale And I Were Thrown Together By A Mutual Need To Survive. Peeta And I Know The Other's Survival Means Our Own Death. How Do You Sidestep That?

I Will Never Give Up If You Never Give In.

I Will Never Give Up

For The Last Year His Grandma Had Been Slipping In And Out Of Reality. One Minute She Was As Clear As A Bell And The Next She Was Calling Him Simon. Who Was Simon? He Had No Idea.

Gale Is Mine. I Am His. Anything Else Is Unthinkable.

There's No District 12 To Escape From Now, No Peacekeepers To Trick, No Hungry Mouths To Feed. The Capitol Took Away All Of That, And I'm On The Verge Of Losing Gale As Well. The Glue Of Mutual Needs That Bonded Us So Tightly Together For All Those Years Is Melting Away.

The Star-crossed Lovers

Star Crossed Lovers

But Gale Is Not One To Keep Secrets From Me. "katniss, There Is No District Twelve."

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